Joe Rogan Experience #16 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Bam! But we're back, bitches. Yeah, so we don't hear ourselves. is the one that they have I didn't see a shitty car everywhere you go, they're building, you know, like like all throughout, like, uh, the city of Abu Dhabi, it's all just skyscrapers and cranes and shit going on constantly, and apparently Dubai's even because there was some sort of a visa problem,

2:31 And there's another guy who was traveling there who had a speck of marijuana on the bottom of his shoe. they run it just like a Western democracy. on the beach with like what are they gonna wear And there's a guy who does my job for the Arab world. He does this traditional Arab wear that they all wear. And I kind of like the outfit for a It's nonsense.

5:15 42 fucking years old i still dress exactly the same i did when i was 20 if you look at my wardrobe face you can do whatever the fuck you want over here and something about that is good for creativity But that's because you have to dress up. really and you know oh that guy isn't They wanted me to take off my hat where the fuck was it? Or they tell you to turn it around that's my other

7:50 I'm like, what? walked up to the door like this i'm like hi collar hi, collar shirt, can I come in? And they're like, yeah, I guess so. I don't know. Like, that would be hilarious if we did it like that. Blowing the curve, man. Probably perfect for that kind of weather. Right. But they said you can get fucked up. Yeah. and you get swarmed by Russian hookers.

11:04 We were at the comedy store the other day, and this really hot chick was all over my friend Jason. feed off them and suck their cock and milk money out of them and you know get some cash we're at Yeah, there's a lot of that over in the Middle East though that shits it runs rampant it's crazy now that so many is uh something you really want to avoid so when people are going into the hole they just drive

12:55 I've seen those before. Where'd you go? that were there that weren't there for the fights but not it wasn't crowded was it legal uh alcohol What are you, 12? God damn it, I forgot his last name. And it was fucking 100 degrees outside and No. he scored it 45 to 50, meaning he gave every single round to Frankie Edgar. But the thing is, a punch and then the other guy counters with a leg kick. Which one was harder? Which one,

16:53 I think there's been closer ones And then BJ hits him with a punch. Who's got better ring generalship or control of the octagon? The fifth round was clear. That was Edgar he took him down he landed some real and here's the end result. The end result of 25 minutes of imposing their will was that Oh, that's true. they rub it on the guy's back. I love the both of them.

19:35 And this pressure builds up in a chain and you have to you can decide that your life sucks you can decide that you're healing and you heal you can decide So, I would like, as he looked of fat on his waist. And they said that to him at one point in time, BJ, put your leg up, put your leg up. You're going to want to sit down if you can. You know, and I said, me. When I saw it live,

21:58 I totally agree with you. But then the third, Rio Chonan just turned it on. fight. If it was a fight, that the guy dropped his guard because he heard the bell. No, no. Right. No, actually because And he put him out. No. Straight down. Okay, so you can't do that. But you can still do this, which is more powerful. But it's like powerful as fuck. And I definitely agree there should be sanctioning.

25:51 You're punching him in the face. Well, don't be there then. You're in much more danger when you're on top of a guy then. You can kick a guy in the body when he's on the ground. is this guy even bothered let's let's finish with the frankie eggers fight before we talk about that Had takedown attempts. So I could definitely see him could argue that he didn't. But

28:08 And you know, here's another problem. You're automatically picked. The problem is they'd all have to be there live to really... Then there's that, too. I've got two monitors to my right and one to my left. Or they're on the ground. that's why we have three judges so they all have different angles well no because you're gonna get that beats that excitement.

30:26 At home it's fun, but when you're there live, this is history, man. And it's live Well, you're also front row in the middle. To be able to look like blood splat a little? That was in the I think Frankie Edgar fought a hell of a fight. wins the fight. I mean, he's the, they've imposed their will guy who wins the last round wins the fight. I think when a guy's a champion, you go in neutral.

33:26 The other problem with the Frankie Edgar fight, this is an interesting point, Like, wow, he's doing better than I thought he was doing. I interviewed Matt he said you don't know and I was really like I'm relieved, I just lost. But a fighter, there's always guys coming up that are gunning for you. And every time you watch a It seems like it. It seems like they're fighting back and forth.

35:34 I've been noticing it. you know when when dudes are defending their title i think there's a lot of emotions at stake It was totally humiliating. It's not been translated yet? guess he was calling him like a spoiled rich kid or something like that like just damian miles like Like, if you put him in with, like, a Brock that's just attacking him you shoot on a guy and you don't get the takedown, what happens is,

38:31 Right. and Anderson is so much more explosive you know why because he got he stopped doing it because he heard what all the He got tired. he's gotten two rounds Right. I think he was like, fuck this. Maya was throwing punches from his knees. And I don't hear a lot of people saying this. to his countering. But when he got tired, It's a good point. he got hit with a big jab and his nose broke open.

41:52 hand and really hit him square and silva wobbled and moved away and started dancing that's a guy I'm acting like an asshole he just decided to move. But I don't, like all these people are of course, besides winning, And he's not willing to put himself in any danger. He didn't fight. He literally to get in an exchange and get cracked. I think he definitely was worried about, you know,

44:10 I could get hurt here. I could lose, and I would The only way it's going to work is if Anderson's really tired. Against Rich Franklin, against Vanderlei Silva, he comes charging out in the first round. in his third fight. The second fight stopped You know, Vitor, if guys put a tremendous amount of pressure on him in the past, And he's very religious and more at peace with himself and more in tune.

46:10 They were talking mad shit to each other. they want about him being weak If he really is bit of an advantage, a reach advantage. No, they'll never do that now. The UFC is owned, 10% of it is owned by Flash Entertainment, They put it inside Ferrari World. Except the BJ Penn-Frankie-Edgar fight. Anderson Silva comes in. Everybody walked out of there with their head hung, shaking their head, going, what the fuck?

49:06 You're selling wild fucking chaos fights, the most exciting sport in the world. they're both out of their element yeah but they're also i mean that's just different you know that's those motherfuckers that's a long time Wow. And he's very strong in his wrestling. You know, both would have been in their element. We both fucking suck at basketball. he had an advantage standing up and plus

51:34 You know, I think Matt Hughes still has a lot of fights in him if he wants to. Fuck you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's a chance. Come on, man. This is a great I know. Nah, you're lying. Yeah, so they can use it all the time. Want to come to Montreal? You can't even go. There's like 20 of us. I'm responsible for part of the entertainment part of it, though.

54:31 Like, if Michael Chiavello and Goldberg got together Too bad you can't just sit there with a TV yeah could replicate people I don't know when it's going to happen, Really? of the culture and it's 12 months a year They won't ever or every two years and all this shit. have to go to We did shows in, like, little fucking high school auditoriums in, like, Dothan, Alabama and shit.

57:10 You know, let's buy the UFC. That'll be fun. A fighting corporation. But they realized when they took over, once it started taking off after the Ultimate Fighter TV show started airing, sophisticated if they enjoy soccer, or maybe It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you understand the language. They would go crazy screaming in Japanese. how they had the giant screens

58:57 but then Did they? Yeah. Of course. Or did the band play in the beginning? Fuck. It wouldn't be as good. One thing is good. These extravaganzas stand up in the middle Nobody wanted to hear It was like It's great for both of them, I think. TBS is going to blow up now. 35 million bucks Comedy Central is so go go buy that shit Amazon link on your website yeah it's on Comedy Central. Right. And you can get my, that DVD's available now, so go buy that shit.

1:01:37 I don't know if I ever beat him. Maybe in a movie. Who'd you steal that from? You fuck. Andy Dick got arrested. You blame Dr. Drew? Was that it? I don't think so. We're just kidding. yeah to watch she's pretty gross i actually like actually ended up liking the girl from that day. I actually liked her Mackenzie Phillips' dad their kid and fuck their kid their whole life had a sexual relationship with their kid to the point

1:05:13 then anytime someone has a case, right now if the case is more than 30 years old, I think it's 30 this because they're saying that it's an assault on the church how is pedophiles how is shielding because I unfacebooked her. Oh, you're an uncle now. Well, you know what, man? makes sense it's so the real problem is when anybody tells you that they know that's when

1:07:50 Shut the fuck up. And people say this is what I've learned from my mistakes. things that can help you when you start start talking about, you know, you kind of have pork and Allah does not want... It was like last week or something like that. When I went over to Abu Dhabi, I was thinking, I'm going to start giving them away. Can't do it. I gotta keep going.

1:10:01 of my favorites but i was like god i hope none of these motherfuckers have this. Because, like, half of the bits are about suicide bombing that's in tempe and where was it arizona that was number one oh that song yeah yeah well that song You're thinking of somebody else. It's called Voodoo Poonanny. But you can play it on the chick and she's just a god damn freak. And every now and then you'll come across a girl

1:11:55 But her pussy was super tight and always wet. So, you know, I thought about writing another song. I like that guy though. How was the battery life? I have a review I just did, and I showed this new application that lets you take your iPhone, They're going to announce. That's gay. I think it's going to be like HD, like high-quality camera. That program alone just kind of made me go, you know what?

1:14:43 Pull your iPad out. It just has to do with connectivity everything has to do with bringing people closer and closer together It's just going to, because there's too much information getting out about them. Yeah. did like because look look at us there's no makeup we're just fucking hanging out my office look i'm Yeah, totally. when you drive? Yeah, I do.

1:17:40 someone's talking to you and you have an idea you you can totally lose it. Like I'll get – if an idea is awesome, I will cover my ears and run away from someone. Those bits are so valuable to me. They just want to say what they have to say to you. Huh? that quality of self-evaluating. God, so, And usually the people, Other people do not see them I mean, one of the reasons I got good at stand-up is because being bad at stand-up is so fucking painful.

1:20:04 So they have this distorted perception next time I drink, I gotta remember that We're going to do business together. worst drug in the world it's the worst drugs ever been created it is the number one retard drug When you're coked up, you never think about a lion. I wonder how many people, yeah, Robin Williams was a coke addict. A lot of people that are like, when you see people that are real skinny and look drawn out and they're fucking talking wacky, it's something.

1:22:40 Yeah, they would hook them up with meth. And when you take them, you find out it's like Anabar, which is like an oral steroid. your body's all flooded you're covered in hair would beat a gorilla. I'm like you're out of your mind. in the head? Good. He's grabbing He's going to keep getting in there. Three drinks in the Indian came out what a gorilla

1:24:31 even Brock terrifying but if you do turn and run they might just freak out just chase you and they hope that you're just going to back off and get away. They just want to claim your territory. But if you do turn and run, they might just freak out, just chase A pit bull could kill most people. He could kill anything. Yeah. last february this is on tmz so you know it's real mr sagal had been keeping two young female

1:26:41 How the fuck is Seagal having that much money still? a year for sure off that show. So he's got that. straight to video dvd sales because he can still sell a steven seagal movie you know you make it I mean, the dude's not even fucking married, right? many super goofy looking dudes that are multi-billionaires who have these model wives But at the end of the day, he's rich.

1:29:03 Yeah. I mean you already like to do it anyway, right? I don't want to get up at 4 in the morning, go to milk you, and you start complaining. Is that prostitution? it right you know you would have to write it out yeah but i mean look if you had a girl and she was But the only difference is now I pay you. You're fucking cheap. You know, because I think the purpose, I don't know, my purpose is always finding somebody that would want to fuck me that much without any questions asked And that I would want to fuck that first. I think if you this chick likes my logic

1:32:23 talking about but this that's the reality of it. And he's like, do you like that dick? And then in the same series, like there was another girl, or the same girl rather. Nobody just fucks anymore. And the girl says, you think so? Mouthfucking, tears rolling down people's face, spitting in people's mouths, two dicks there's no teasing. fucking her asshole.

1:34:22 that I say about, Her butthole was a holder for dicks. we've talked about yeah yeah you like you like thinking that that's really you Paying for it. and pay for that. So they do all this. They get out And for a chick who's fucking broke and desperate and probably, you know, not the best thinker in the world anyway. Who's going to know? All right. They make her do double anal.

1:37:12 that uh i wanted to tell you that no brokeback mountain was a huge success yeah i didn't know I won't watch any more beheadings. Yeah. Yeah, I need to write it out, which is, we talked about this before, to just think that anybody's your enemy I'm done with that shit and anything that's based off Three Men and a Baby. that anything goes down. That's never been the case. In the 1950s, you had to be Ed Gein.

1:40:23 two different teachers both pretty decent looking chicks. And when I was in high school, um, my Spanish teacher fucked one of my friends. And I'm like, huh? Columbus, Ohio and then Mr. Phillips Boys or girls? Tell the whole goddamn story. Everyone was always talking about it knew about it he never got caught how did he not get caught I don't know and

1:42:29 happened like i i barely remember seeing it in the papers and stuff like that but he got even if he Oh, so you're like 11, 10, something like that. fucking 10 year old boys in the ass yeah and then we had a study hall oh my god then we had a study You know, like before the internet, man, shit like that would happen and nobody would hear about it. Yeah, you take fucking video and photo while it's happening.

1:44:25 and so I'm in this and I said yeah and the guy says I'll show you the fucking librarian starts screaming. What? And when it comes to that, like my childhood, I might have got killed because if this guy just got out of jail, he's probably tired They should, or something. Yeah, nobody, Come on! is a good idea for kids. all those phones. If your kid's missing, it's not retarded.

1:47:25 Yeah, and they follow them. We're going to be able to access all the information in the whole world not just on your I mean, it's all ridiculous. Stream a movie live. That's the trend. Bing. Visual search? you know what year was the first car. What year was the first car invented? I can't wait to the part where I can go through my old photos from when I was like five years

1:51:19 settle down you freak what is this guy saying you hate Mencia for stealing jokes, but you stole that T-Rex joke, hypocrite. the difference between me and a guy like mancia or most comics and a guy like Mencia is most comics like David Tell is famous for. He comes up with a joke. He'll call like a bunch of people and say, hey, have you ever heard this before? You ever heard this before? Because sometimes guys come up with jokes. And even though you came up with it on your own, you don't know whether or not anybody else has come up with it before. It's very possible. It's called parallel thinking. But the difference between that and a guy like Mencia or Robin

1:53:02 Williams came into the club and there was all these comics that were like big-name Boston comics. would just go on the tonight show the next night do their bit and that bit was dead they could never I mean, it's the same connection about blowjobs. Like, what are you doing? quit blowjobs all the time. the bit it's like it's kind of obvious below job you know it's not the most clever connection

1:55:34 He's probably just stupid. Or he's just got a text message from christopher titus today christopher titus who's a friend of mine, just sent me a text today. And Christopher is a very funny comic. That's awesome. Brian Posehn came up Like, I can't tell you The one that made it onto my last special. for word, you know, oftentimes. to be the ones It's just,

1:58:12 You know what? And he'll be like, dude, I fucking slammed my belly button in my door. was that it was a pretty obvious bit. The thing with the Ari bit, it's very funny, There was like five comics that did that joke. he even like said, He still sometimes still get caught up in it. There's always gonna be There's always gonna be Like what you like. Look, there's all this comedy stuff.

2:00:50 There's great comics If you've never heard know he's a classic jim norton hilarious louis ck of course there's so many good good comics now. Now, instead of thinking negative about Guys of Steel and bullshit and the problems with this and that, JoeRogan.net has all the links. And it's on Amazon. And it's number two on iTunes. You can get it on DVD. JoeRogan.net has all the links. JoeRogan.net has all

2:02:00 in. We had a good time.