Joe Rogan Experience #160 — Eddie Bravo Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. Thank you for having me. Yeah, I thought he was going to do it. You know what? I shouldn't have jumped the gun. Did I tell you to tweet that? He told me he was going to do it. He's going to come tonight. He just doesn't show up sometimes. We still love him. and so I started taking other dudes yeah and so it became two and then I realized

2:38 for years You don't get that horrible fucking loneliness that a lot of comics get when they go on the road, man. Yeah, and he doesn't bring guys with him. I don't know, man. She's really hot, and he's really not. so it was constant like just, but it's just, We didn't say anything bad. It's all true. He's a great guy. I love Yeah. People do that, man. He's probably listening to the show right now. That's okay. We didn't say anything bad.

4:32 or what's going on with that? but we're going to drop it Did you redo the whole- jujitsu with henner and heron and we had a mutual friend his name was um adisa and he's like dude with the gracies with henner and horion and all of them and your tenth planet you guys coming together with music side working on a verse too so that we ended up just going why don't you rocket take the first

6:54 or negative energy that there is with 10th Planet. was that's awesome he cut that video wow he cut that video he cut he's like the baddest motherfucker Awesome. it was hard because most people thought i was a an athlete a jiu jitsu guy who is dabbling in music and they'll go and do something else I mean, I wouldn't. It didn't last long, right? The audio is actually available.

9:30 which is pretty dope as well. Really? It's alright No not music Music's different. Yep. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's a project. Yeah. I'm always real careful about any grandiose exclamations about anything that I do. you can't fake fake it with competence you know technical competence you gotta you gotta be in No, that's... He was... which is totally different it's like you're not even gonna recognize it or just it's it's pretty

12:31 Like, I remember Courtney Love wrote some article about it, the whole world has access to it instantly from their phone internet yeah it's huge just like that bone it's amazing listen to you know, this podcast, nobody ever gave me a radio show. Remember that was the last one? No, what does it say? That's hilarious. jesus christ that was hilarious so you finally saw it oh yeah yeah

15:44 where it's a comedy but people are fucking getting their heads blown off. It's hard to be. Did he have his pigment changed? and then the entire time they're working on the set, Man, I don't drop character until i do commentary for the dvd No, it's just because you guys only took it 10 minutes. You only gave it 10 minutes of a chance or something like that.

17:26 We were barbecued. But Jack Black was incredible in Tropic thunder he was incredible man i thought i They probably got paid like 50 grand each or something. That must have been a party. He goes, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Joey was in that. It's an extortion movie. You know, I told this story before. They're all telling him how to do his scene

20:04 couldn't do shit about it. super low budget, It looks like you're punking people. brian what do you think Oh, that's that other song in the background, Brian. Yeah. You're listening to, like, Burl Ives and shit. Interpol's 10th most wanted man. Return of the Deadline. and i think your fans and i think people that know you are gonna love it at least that's what

23:35 Fuck. Is it funny? their asses off and said an inside joke. I would love to see it I go, no, no, no. He goes, you mean the whole thing that James Brown, that was fake? That was like mad at me. guy and his aspirations were you know to be this filmmaker of making like big karate movies he came I go, are you sure I could act? he was like totally cool goes yeah yeah who he didn't know he didn't know rasan and he didn't

26:56 as like... Cuban black belt. attacked and it is fucking awesome man the one where fights the dudes off I think it's a come on his character that's an amazing and Joey and He's the funniest guy that's ever walked the face of the earth. You understand me? But I'm fighting to get it back, you understand me? He went through Forrest Whitaker, Forrest Griffin.

29:19 He's gonna get them in a clinch, He does his traditional... That was great. came out, he was one of those guys that got mma he knows he knows he knows shit about mma that i would never know like he knows when the you never met a bookie with a part-time job. said just like that, you never seen a bookie with a part-time Because they bet a fuckload of money on them.

31:43 I don't think anybody who gets hit by that. It was a shocker. It actually landed bone to bone. but, God, it can't be as hard as the top knuckle. goes out there and mike tyson's dudes it wasn't bad for mike tyson was it it's never bad when a But I think other than that, it was a great result. legit in 64 seconds, now. He's knocking dudes with big block

34:05 He lost weight. I'm like, I got stuck there. I think it's amazing that he's able to do what he can do Can you imagine? It's one of the reasons why he can take a shot so well. The one he put Brendan Shaw about with, ba-blam. Yeah, now they're like, shit, our hero. Yep. shit. I've known him for a long-ass time but that dude is underneath all that shit.

37:11 fight in the history of of fights the greatest yeah i think it was the greatest fight of all time display of defense versus offense or two guys that you know in putting on like a you know a gsp There's a thing about when you're doing commentary. and then you would break it down by strikes, takedowns. Especially if something really big happens. 10-9 round where they just fucking flip a coin man it's like you know who the hell knows you

40:11 They've got to give more 10-10. They want to see a clear, decisive decision. That might not be right. It's too close. It's going to be unfortunate. But there are fights that side or the other. There are times where you shouldn't pick a winner. You know, it's going to be unfortunate. The third one was pretty fucking crazy, too. any three out of five

42:05 and it was let go and shogun did come back so that was great refereeing by josh rosenthal yeah idea of that kong was he was probably close to stopping it anyway. Fights that could have easily been stopped. You know, you don't have to agree with it. But I think you've got to give him a chance, you know. But he didn't get up on his feet for a while. And maybe he would have been able to pull something off, but most likely not.

44:23 He put so much into those knees i'm like i hadn't seen Actually seen Tiago Tavares play rubber guard in that way. against a high level Jiu Jitsu guy eventually i'll i'll uh dive into it it just feels kind of uncomfortable for me right now but Because there's some dudes, there's a few dudes that, you know, It's very hard to get out. there's so much to do the only way you're gonna get better at anything anything in life is by

47:30 these guys Dominic Cruz because it's when they're working on the striking So what ends up happening in jujitsu, there's not that much drilling. There's not that much man, it's a dangerous weapon. that you're already awesome at, and then sort of incorporate all the other stuff into it. He's going through numbers on you, If you play football your whole life,

51:01 yeah it's easy super balanced yeah bill cooper is a and he'll tell you that it's from the capoeira. Like, you know, I have a son coming, You know, like in the Yushin Okami fight, That's after, I mean, he had a little bit of a ground game them getting a lot better i mean quick because all they do is drill like in wrestling those are just Learn it first, develop the movement,

54:07 actually spar you can't do that with any other uh as a combat sport but it's so cool and so awesome Noguera in the beginning was the triangle king early in his career. So you saw the, Bob Sapp, Noguera. We haven't seen it. He doesn't even look real in this video Punching him over and over and over There's no way he's going to pull this off. Yeah. I don't remember either.

57:25 other brazilian out there all the legends that the none of them were known for finishing people At this point, I go, he's done. There's too much mass. And Bob Sapp is so fucking strong. He looks fake, man. And Minotaur is trying to take him down. And this is it. Minotauro, oh, he's throwing some crazy up kicks now. going nuts right here yeah going nuts like is he gonna be able to pull this off he's got to do it

1:00:53 And then they determine whether or not the guy can go back in. That's a good question. minotaur's got a nice head and arm right here He just blew it. Oh, my God, he hammer fists him. Oh my god, he hammer fisted him. Dude, he's like a fucking video game character. right now and bobsap punches him in the head and he gets to half guard i don't remember how he gets

1:03:20 There's no way he could put a triangle on those shoulders. He's so big. Oh! Oh, he's down again. did. He beat Ernesto Hoos twice, bro. Oh! I don't know. This is so crazy. Hung Man Choi? No way. This is when Bob Sapp was the shit, man. And if he gets him down, then Bob Sapp is fucked. That's a good idea against big guys. it was almost like it always been the question like how big could a guy be in your jiu-jitsu

1:06:52 Yeah. his eyes too to make sure he can still see. Me too. Who was winning at the end was very important. Oh, he's getting killed. ivo knocked out gary goodridge yes he laid him out with that head kick laid him out he was And his sister, which was, he didn't even know just gone oh shit okay there's the pile drive bam oh my god Another classic fight that lasts. Here we go. Round two. This is the replay. Oh, shit.

1:09:54 Did he ever get it fixed? take so many of these beatings but this is a long time ago and he seems to be um okay now he seems to be Oh, shit. Are they now? sort of like white guys with Japanese tattoos yeah stand them up, ref! I don't even know what it means. Yeah, dude, who was the first card you did commentary with? Yeah, Henzo Sakuraba. He's locking up a triangle.

1:12:27 He's going to switch to the armbar. Oh, this is what he get. It worked. He peeked out. But he's he did it before early in the fight it worked He rolls him over with his Kimura. You couldn't even put that in a movie His right arm is deep across. It is amazing. He can't breathe. Then he sits back for the armbar. Dude, right there, everybody was going apeshit.

1:15:05 I think it's got to be right up there. How'd that not put him out? and it breaks, So then you come on, tatami mats and shit. fucking blow up dolls. I mean, you can take, you know, body shot. So it wasn't like he didn't sustain damage. The Rock has. And he got so famous in Japan. contract or something like that and he said no I want my contract first and

1:18:33 But, you know, think are racist like bob sap did a banana commercial or something. Well, I think, yeah, I think, you know, it's okay in their culture. They really focus on other Japanese people. But just think of all the other freaky shit they do. you know, You know? in the country. Black guy? Look for a picture if you can find it. They're like, fuck this.

1:21:13 See, this is him when he was in his prime. And, you know, guys take things to the next level. Yeah, look at that picture right there. Jesus Christ. There's a picture of him, dude. Holy shit. Jesus Christ. I wonder how much he actually weighed. Their little bikinis on So have a little chit chat with he said the window but i say the walls but uh and going spider-man so it's so weird that

1:24:00 So I don't think it was something like somebody just like in 1997, But it's just weird seeing it. Because then, They had it on the league the other day. Well, son, sometimes you just got to gotta let shit go have you had that happen like just like like jokes I always hear comics talking about that. in front of all these different writers and all these different producers.

1:25:59 the taglines are the same. that here's this really hilarious these guys, in front of these guys, thought, which have parallel thinking. and throwing your cum like on a wall or stuff like that which in on the league it was the window I don't even care. Right. Steve Renazizi is the best. He's aces. He's an old school comedy star. Remember? For years.

1:29:08 I brought my act to the improv and I was like, man, why am I so angry? I saw a dude get knocked the fuck out. he was just swinging and like literally closing his eyes and then a bus moved in front of him And he's just spazzing. David Lee Roth. He had some great This is what he did. I don't think you're supposed to Yeah, I know it was. If that guy called, he might have called because of David Lee Roth,

1:31:43 No one was more of a rock star than that guy. He was just hanging out at the comedy store with his buddy. And he just hangs out like a regular dude, man. was his license plate. we would like battle like who would come out with the best sound. A completely different sound. That is more successful. That was the story. And that just freaked everybody out.

1:34:24 Massive. And then Panama was huge. Panama was the shit. a big fucking chance and they blew the fuck up yeah that was a huge hit massive and then panama The first album was the second song. Could you imagine if TMZ was around during David Lee Ross' heyday? He had sayings. If I heard him, I could do it. that that's what he should do. No, I don't think he does.

1:36:35 Yeah, I do. The Ice House Chronicles is on his label now. it's Bill Burr, Joey Diaz, Tom Segura, No, that's Friday. God damn, that's a fucking show. We can't talk about that. Why did he get naked? pants first. Check this out. And then he started crying? It just showed the number like the national debt, That's a guy. We've got to get Brian Brian count to do his Brazilian again cuz he was the

1:39:31 This is before you worked. about the fights and then you would say something cool i think it's like human chess but instead If you look right here to the right, this is what comes up. That one right there. Slow. He's sucking his fingers, That's it. That's it. Get this. It's true. These iTunes listeners are going to hate this episode. and some of that, unfortunately, is like visual.

1:43:21 Or you know what? that don't know So I wanted to ask you of the reasons why i asked is europe i mean i've never in my whole life had more conversations What do you mean we go bankrupt? to get it to where it functions again? be even all across the country are going missing from the Pentagon? And then the next, he announces that there's 2.3 trillion.

1:46:25 where the 2.3 trillion dollars it just seems like they're just going out of the way like well how And they just had it in a room somewhere for you? And in the September 11th one, man, that's one where people just, was really going on. Three went down. didn't even talk about why this skyscraper went down after years of pressure and people going or it's like 47-story skyscraper

1:49:52 4.4 seconds No, no. It's ridiculous. So why are we talking about this? possible i don't know based on you know architects and engineers from 11. I don't know. Based on, you know... Architects and engineers from 11 Truth, building when they built it? What do you think goes the kinks in the middle and then falls into its own base instantly instantly all it does it

1:52:09 Yeah, it fell into its base. It does, right? It's all on YouTube. did really have like who knows how many gallons of fucking diesel fuel you know thousands millions And then the war started after that. What do you mean? You know, it doesn't make sense to me. Because honestly, it sounds preposterous. inside of it became But if I... I would not be It's just true.

1:55:45 And I go, so what do you think about? We were just all out there just picking up trash, man. It's not like it is in the movies, bro. You know, I said, you know,ia had offices in there maybe intelligent and ron I mean, how deep are you willing to take it? They could have let those people fly those planes into those buildings? So, attacked. They needed to get into the war.

1:58:55 Could have easily killed U.S. soldiers, right? that someone came up with that everybody was like, had a whole bit about that you know about like that people would be like what they told 911 yeah I hear about natural gas pipelines What are we doing? We have video evidence of her sucking a dick, CGI, man. No plane hit it. And then they go, don't worry about it.

2:01:30 I wish our government, We're going to make look at jfk and all that shit you you put it all together and our government has every government and congratulated Fedor and thanked Monson. who's pushed himself back into power. He was supposed to be elected and then his term was Who? John McCain and Sarah Palin go into office. So easily, you look at how Obama's turning gray, man.

2:03:47 with Vladimir Putin. Can you imagine what that conversation would be like god damn so what do you think about ron paul i think ron paul is uh a very sensible man That doesn't bother me because his belief in the Constitution They're war profiteers. and they'd be just as fucked up and fine. It's pretty amazing watching Portugal, less people are addicted to drugs.

2:06:28 You know, and you know, if people are selling hurting you, let them do it. Let them do everything. Let them try whatever they want. That's how it should be. If they're not hurting you, let them do it. Let them do Ghostbusters. But, you know, Ron Paul's probably not going to get into the position to be the Republican nominee. for the second and third spot.

2:07:43 about these two dudes battling out for two and three where the military-industrial complex that we actually live in a 100% Like, three? That's a good idea. The temptation for corruption is just too powerful. no I'm sorry they come with makes its money by fixing shit after the United States blows it up in war. If that's not like a brilliant There's no way they would go to war just for profit.

2:11:01 that guy doesn't have a heart anymore man've got an electric heart in there pumping this shit. Think of that. Remember that one? They did go dumber. Wow. You know, somebody took that make that um clip from my 2005 special they took that He was just mad all the time, man. if you really want to. It's hard. Yeah. Neither one of them smoke weed. Isn't that a nice thing?

2:13:49 All their good qualities get accentuated. And just hear phantom buzzes Hold on to that thought, Brian. Don't be scared, homie. We got to hurry. Son, in high school, I didn't smoke weed. But if you look closely, I was like on the edge. and they're passing around a joint dude, dude, dude, It was U.S. history. Don't do nothing. Everyone's laughing I'm like fuck and then some girl handed me her compact just look at your eyes

2:16:37 Every now and then. just sitting on the bathroom floor the teacher calls the the campus cop total asshole big ass So he brought me to the uh, the principal's office. He had a toupee on it was awesome I hate this feeling. And I was probably like 15, 14, maybe 14, 15, And then I was time traveling. but I was scared of weed after that for a while two stoners and every time he made a mistake playing bass i would like blame the weed i go

2:20:08 You're a dick to the people that you're afraid of yourself being. And I was thinking, how silly is this video going to look like in 10 years when weed's completely legal and it's like normal and everything? of marijuana, and he's like, oh, it's inevitable. There's no reason for them to be protecting us from it. of you being guilty of locking people in jail

2:21:59 The fact that there's dispensaries I think it's becoming more and more legal, but every now and then you've got little dips. It's hard to stop this Occupy Wall Street, but boy, are they fucking trying. Are they? That's it. But that is also a lot of money probably for him. but there's no way that guy should ever be in charge ever of enforcing the and put his email online shops yeah he's yeah he's a that guy's a that's a the world took that guy's picture and put it online and put his email online. Awesome photo shops.

2:25:06 out there's a real video of you out there, you're getting tied going to fuck you and they're going to say that you agreed to it Thanks, bye. fetish of just people getting tied up but made it really cool let's build it up slow Yeah. I'm just stepping foot in before. The craziest girls will just immediately start blowing you. It's just you and a friend holding hands watching TV. Yeah, but you're not doing anything else.

2:27:32 Yeah, you're just holding white gloves. Is someone offering you something? It's hard to find people. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have that? So they open up a Christian bookstore instead. Maybe all of them. get laid they actually could get laid like most other denominations but they were getting too Yeah, they probably thought about the same way What came first?

2:30:39 Definitely. And then the confession booth came after that? Maybe they really tried to keep it together, and for a while, they just beat off in there while girls told crazy fuck stories. You can't, You know what I mean? am I going to have to talk right so i asked i asked my catechism teacher what if i don't say i leave one I stole a candy bar. I was hoping he wouldn't go, wait a minute, back up a little bit there.

2:32:44 Dude, what a panic it would be Yeah. Hold on. Yeah. want to stop washing it. What do you call it now, Eddie? Do you, Joe? Did you see that video? I have a feeling that that is already your name. That was fucking hilarious. It's fucking awesome. Find it online because it's fucking hilarious. That video of Joey Diaz crashing through the thing, Did you try to download it on your computer?

2:35:19 Have you seen it, Eddie? An old one, right? You got to remove that. Yeah, it was just bizarre. The guy who used to come to the comic store all the time. Yeah. Yeah. it's east of the 101 on Santa Monica Boulevard. Sign a six-month contract and get the first two months free. No one's striking. render them you know crippled for a temporary temporarily at least it's a great skill to have

2:38:56 weights every now and then, that's gonna get boring. They work on certain specific things to look good. Every workout I do is like big cleans and squats and kettlebell routines and shit. just to push yourself, to put yourself into difficult situations where you're nervous and to It's really cool people. by the way, on Google image search. I think Hamilton, New Zealand, I think.

2:41:47 Thank you. We got Joey Diaz. Thanks for tuning in. We have Shroom Tech Sport, which is a cordyceps mushroom endurance supplement that's great for people who work out really hard. Thanks, everybody. bitches. Dirty.