Joe Rogan Experience #1601 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! Awesome outfit for you. Where would, where would one get something like this? But isn't it supposed to have numbers? Ooh, official. They just pushed that movie back, if you look closely, you can see. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's like officially licensed, I think. Ooh. Ooh, official. Especially since it's so much nicer. like fuck that that's never happened to me again like think about how many times people go to the

1:53 instead of the middle More than two people. I don't think so. What is this? It takes a lot longer. Something like that. You drove 20 That's a different time of the day. Right. What I took this morning I mean, 30 minutes. until you get empty on a gas tank. and it over-exaggerated. Well, you have the X, and so does Jamie. There's a really cool website called Wham Bam Tesla Cam or something like that.

6:10 like some spy cam pictures came out today or it might be the new refresh. the X is going to take away had it dancing in the parking lot? That's i bought my car you know that that happened that performance cars yeah but no matter how hard they try or Ford tries with their electric cars they're Yeah, where they kind of go indented or a little. that's gonna fix a lot of shit as soon as you can do that like 300 miles is like whoo

8:42 I just don't think it's the same setup. there's a path you can go. top they just pull off oh well you know what's dope is that they took a four door and they turn So that when they make it a non-convertible it Remember I used to have that NSX? A Targa? Yeah, it makes you feel weird. It was fresh. She was balling the coolest car ever. Bro, my legs are sweating so hard.

12:01 It's like a sauna suit. It is like a sauna suit. It's good to sit in a sauna. those waist slimmers. it said. I hate those target ads. So, where it's like this giant, I am sweating like a pig under this thing. It's so nice to be on stage again and having shows again. It's 73 in here. He comes out like next week or something. He just won his first. And he told me it was probably going to be his last fight.

14:44 He's obviously in tip-top magoo shape. I was half-assing both of them. You got to know what your time is. What is the number of hours you have in the day? That's true, too. But that's what made them. Looks like a different person almost. Almost almost it kind of looks pretty good now Wow. so that would make sense. the wampa mauling Skywalker's face

17:18 Right. It's at 73. When you're a hiker? We're going to have shiny heads this episode. Sweet place. Oh, I didn't know that. which is just like their legit band. And Tony got COVID. But you still haven't gotten it. I think that because I've been around, like we did a podcast once where it was They also think there's some sort of variability that has to do,

20:21 O positive, yeah. What's that? She goes, I never felt better in my life. It's like I wonder what's going on. You know, like, in terms of what's safe and what's not safe, opening businesses, what you can do for your health. You might get there and fucking everybody's welding inside their homes. He can't go home until... He's quarantined I think they have that in America too, right?

22:52 They always wear masks, right? And they're buck wild I'll look through and see if they have a conclusion in here Like it's not like we're making up the fact that there's a level four lab right there yeah i think he's gonna do that patriot party thing that's what i think he's gonna do something It would have done much march towards the capital he really did incite these people to do this and a lot of the people

26:01 They're not going to let him go, man. I mean, they're coming after him anyway. Like the fact, oh yeah, the economy was kicking ass before COVID. And they'll have some Fox News segments where they'll discuss, country's homophobic like that guy was the most popular man in the country for several months like annoying people and if you're gay and you happen to be annoying people just don't like annoying people. And if you're gay and you happen to be annoying, people just don't like you, you'll say, oh, those people are homophobic.

28:24 Tiger King Joe Exotic now wants a pardon from Biden. What did he go to jail for? wildlife records, and nine counts Scroll down again. The limo driver's just sitting there like, Yeah. Wow, that's crack right there. But yeah, I highly recommend watching that show. But particularly people that are overweight. He got parents that just probably didn't pay attention to him,

31:46 And then you watch them ask them, how many cokes or soda poppies do you have per day? and Gatorades and Power Aids You need someone that makes you work. I've known you for so many years. weight you can't eat reasonably. And people are like, well, look, Brian eats really reasonably. That's the end of it. diet last year um i lost a shitload of weight because i didn't do any cheating this year i

34:15 Other than that, I'm just eating meat. But I've lost five pounds this year. Did you ever eat there with us? Cuban food. You know, whereas other food is like, I mean, I guess like sushi is disciplined, right? here yeah god damn it was good dude yeah I have reservation next month I'm It made me realize, it tastes good. If you can make me eat something that I normally think is disgusting

37:25 You're like, you want your own. It's weird. it was the texture of remember that what is that? That cotton candy foie gras? That does not seem good at all. That's a place where they're, like, and they were like, whoa, is this it? Like, they made their own grill. the food right over the wood and there's a flavor that gives that's why those traeger grills are so

40:16 as fuck let me raise this bitch up or i want to try to like cook it a little slower i want to I mean, how long does it take to cook a brisket? Oh, look at this. What would you guess, Joe? What would you guess this is? Well is for a home or restaurant oh how much is this how much what It's like catching a fish. nothing but stars and trees and shit you got a fire in front of you like oh it's a special kind

42:50 not that guy, but the guy's friend, So they shot the bear and eventually shot it and killed it. like, what a rough night. Everybody knows what they're doing, right? Oh, yeah. world war one when the russians and the germans literally did have a ceasefire now uh the meat there's a few hundred guys, and how many bullets can you even fire back then? They also showed up on the front lines, feeding on the fallen and sometimes taking advantage of incapacitated fighters.

45:50 temporarily stopped being enemies once they found a common foe. Both sides agreed to a ceasefire as in Russia were desperate the consent of their commanders, Like, that's what America needs right now. We need an alien invasion. week and we just don't know about it? Not terrified. things right now okay you know i'm gonna have to change my programming and make it

48:44 don't have to kill anything with their mouth. it has a formula it's going to that's when it's going to start cloning itself and it's going to Which one? Last season? I like the likes and the up-down likes. Yeah. so they can't get fat what if what if these things just decide to be, like, logical with us? responsible for. Who's it going to be? lives without a real pandemic the one that like really affected civilization this way and shut everything down for

52:27 Their vote counts the same way that yours does. You know, these are baby eating pedophiles and these are QAnon believing racists. He would never do that in real life. But when there's thousands of people of enemies we have to be concerned with. We have to be concerned just so you can hear it just hear it because we all need to hear it we're all on the same

54:56 in your own mind and in your own life like this where you can look at that and go what is that We've got to go find some women. marbles were the best dude i used to love marbles I had like a little like suede sack have you ever seen one of those such a good show just need stuff that's great it doesn't matter it really doesn't matter it doesn't matter if it's

56:45 figure in that movie you didn't even think about it maybe you would if you're a woman you were That's real when she's in the machine in Aliens 2, then it was all like whack graphics and it was all numbers nobody had figured out a graphic user Like, you know they have that Samsung phone that's out now? full screen youtube video right now i want to yeah, I get it. I want to see a full-screen YouTube video right now.

59:01 That looks like someone's going to break it real quick. Jamie gave me some of his pills. Supposedly that might not even come out, though. flips sideways you know that one that turns into a t yeah the flippers have you seen that yeah That's not outside the box. Oh, what do you have? It won't do anything. numbers for the old phone so i have my 11 No shit I have my fucking 12

1:01:32 You should not be on Verizon network anymore But they also teamed up with Sprint Who's the new guy? T-Mobile, no offense, seems like a mall company. Maybe I should switch. I'm kidding, T-Mobile. You know what else they had? joke about texting. It took forever. That was nice. Wasn't that the invention of the dick pic? Oh, I remember what you're talking about.

1:04:19 Do you remember this? Yeah, sure. that these ladies must have been aware and so there was a thing where girls were stepping out wait, who was the cameraman? this galaxy s21 ultra I just don't like there's a lot of things I'm upset with it's blue it is more They don't sell your data. I was actually, just last night, someone posted something about off.

1:07:12 to give you ads in the future off of – money because it's it's they've been doing something they should have never been allowed to Look at it glows. I don't know how it should know, but it should know you already bought the thing. And then you get it. There's some shit of Instagram shit don't make it. back the people are just like man just keep it oh so yeah there's like some weird something

1:09:52 I've got many guns. Nunchucks. Are you allowed to do that? I was going to get guns in LA, but there's so many lines. ring the doorbell because they know they don't that starts the recording Used to be a big job, right? Door-to-door salesman? And I guess Dave knew about it. and get you in trouble would make a series of license plates numbers that We went to this lady.

1:13:25 Do you guys want some coffee? Like, oh, let me lay the spider web down on the wall. So you're collecting double. she gave us coffee he was was like, fuck her. It's not the best picture. day before Matt was even in the UFC but an Irish version It was someone to drive him because he lost his license in a DUI. I mean, I met him in 88. I got back up. hook. And my legs just went, night they just gave out it was the

1:17:11 It's just like you're so flooded with adrenaline. Oh, that's right. You came back to tell us. Most of what the Comedy Store was was amazing madness but then when it started happening to the store i realized like oh this carries with it a happen Friday night at a show. He scammed his way in. 1% of the population is schizophrenic. It's an excellent book,

1:20:02 Right, right. It's honey. I think they're monitoring your patterns, your behavior. now he's now he's just a crazy person don't you think that's a different world though like that's interesting elevated feeling like they uh i have how do I say this without getting anybody in trouble? I have a friend who was microdosing mushrooms every day. It just feels like medicine.

1:22:49 Well, it's already becoming legal in some states. You go to Portland and become a bodybuilder. That was like a car meet, right? but if I was a cop, A lot. You did. The undercover cop always had its say. They was an undercover cop the undercover cop always had it say they were an undercover cop are you a cop we always used to thought that was true And they don't worry about whether or not people are going to believe it's true.

1:25:24 Like in Hawaii, they had to actually change the law because cops were banging so fuck prostitutes for information. Do you know that? Do you know that? Like in Hawaii, they had to actually change the law I'm trying to get some information. be a cop who bangs hookers I wonder if there's something you could put in the notes and have a secret code, like, come on inside.

1:27:07 agents have done that too female agents have fucked it they've fucked it they've fucked girl is a super spy no i bet it's way hard to get super spies in the age of social media because is that they own everything you upload to them. but then your friends are like well what is what's the address like how do i get to this A lot of guys think they're tainted.

1:30:07 But you could do live stream all day long. Because it was the new thing. My daughter, my 10-year-old, loves Sniper Wolf. saying speaks to a nine-year-old like for her it made a lot of sense but for me it was so annoying I was, like, legit laughing. Yeah. game lady that my daughter always watches but this this one, I was like, that's funny. They figured out a new art form.

1:33:07 How many views does that have? That one makes me clutch my pearls just thinking about it. Did he really? Yeah, I think it actually was Hatch. Larratt. He's got some white ink tattoo, I think. I used to follow Style, and then he used to post about you, website like you don't necessarily even need to know too much about them but like this is style think she tried to get a little too clever with 9-11 like right after it happened and it was one

1:36:12 That makes, there's an opportunity to get a, So nuts. Does that feel 20 years to you no but also it doesn't like it feels like it's weird getting old is weird That's a real thing remember that moment when that lady invited us in for coffee and told us about her insurance scam. I have a blurry... Hey, sketch me the front of this lady's house. maybe maybe i'm wrong maybe she was fat as fuck i don't remember i remember i'm pretty sure she

1:39:08 lady and you're like what i thought it was the stripper that was just there before i understand This guy's drunk. I was so pissed off at you because you filmed the whole thing, but you deleted it. And then I'm like like what is happening but she just moved in on you started kissing you it's hilarious i miss i miss uh the yellow rose hey, the Yellow Rose.

1:40:49 They're not. No, they could have celebrities. They would have whitney robot mix it with holograms though You're losing your fucking mind. second book yeah ready player two yeah it's great there's gonna come a time shit i don't ever think like that's fake you know they're trying to fool me with this pigeon shit Yeah, look at this. That's crazy. $1.9 million for a bird, a little tiny bird,

1:43:53 the squab sir that's fucking pigeon it's a young pigeon it's like lamb what is lamb lamb is a young It's in Montana in the forest, two guys got caught because they raced. Yeah. I would win anything you want I thought you were going to say I can do that But they would strain the liquid. Whatever's left over to throw on a scale. They would pan for gold first.

1:46:48 Yeah. water even if you're breathing in fine your body will shut down your body breaks your electrolyte how much water do you drink a day do you like have you seen those big 80 kill cliff oh kill That's awesome. Pineapple jalapeno. all right i want yeah dude my my own drink would be grape but it'd be japanese grape flavor But they have a thing. It just needs salt.

1:49:14 try this and tell me to go out of business. Thank you, sir. We went through like six different... It's legit, right? Yeah. I wonder if we Illuminati Dude, you're in the Illuminati. Awesome. Yeah, no. Like the QAnon stuff seems like horse shit. Like, Illuminati does exist. Anyone listening, what before that that's crazy why is it um that people have always done things

1:53:00 like how it keeps your balls fresh the same thing it would do keeps your feet from stinking having the biggest most preposterous powdered wigs that's a big wig that's Is it? It takes all the pain out of whiskey, though. Good idea. I love jalapeno. Anchovies and pineapple on a pizza. That's why I like hard shell fish more than regular fish, except tuna.

1:55:40 Yeah, different fish have different flavors. which is terrible because they cut the fins off Is there really? stuff going on and joey diaz is now they're hanging out with bears i don't know what he's doing That was 11 years ago. He just got his knee replaced It hurts But I don't even remember, man. We were talking about him on the podcast the other day with The Undertaker from WWE.

1:59:07 before he ran the Moab 240. degradation. infrasubstance Retinaculum? It keeps going. Scientists are about to come. After that. Did you get that? I like Kiss. It's craziness. Yeah, but they're all fireworks songs. What's that other guy too that wasn't a musician, Yeah. like when when he did remember that yeah but that's old man shit. It is. They might have some history.

2:04:20 distinction. It's like wow, They get real mad. of all these elites that have been recreator guys are doing nowadays you know it's it's it's a nowadays. It's furries mixed with history. It's Disney bloggers. No, no, it's not, though. one of the things that hasn't happened amazing show I had her on the podcast and one of the things that she talked She's like the LA police department.

2:07:37 They just drive down to Mexico Like five years ago? They'll get hijacked and shit but it's not the case. like hopscotching another thing dr carl hart was telling me about Rubbing alcohol. Duster? Oh, Max Cab is like a slow drip. Meanwhile, they're in some 3D version of a UFO, and there's little rooms they go into, I would bet money on that. 36 more than that.

2:11:49 Vodka in a tampon They're not even adults. A lot. I've tried it. I guess. A beer funnel. That's a weird thing right okay get drunk quick enough Butt chugging. Shout out to Jeff. Poor Henry. Good for him. Okay. I don't know. Who is the article? Jeff Winkler. Alright, shout out to Jeff. It is weird. They've gone through a lot of different changes. But now it's like super woke.

2:14:45 I'm starting with Shane and Gavin. He's still on there. it's almost like this week on, you know. I remember one of them was Shane was in Thailand with a bunch of lady boys in a hot tub and they were drinking. Yeah. Gavin doesn't. No mask. They just dropped the order so that it's, I think it's up to. Isn't it funny when you live here for a little bit?

2:16:37 not pouring this kill clip it should have been it should have been done this way everywhere they but what about the rest of the world? similar in China. I'm sure they have It's gonna be alcohol What were we just saying before No, I'm good. Do you smoke cigars? That's another thing with the olives and the sardines and shit. And I've smoked Hinchcliffe's cigarettes before.

2:19:26 and he ran out of cigarettes on stage and he goes, hey, Brian, you got any cigarettes? Look at Jamie. That's what that chemical does. That's what I was saying. them as natural organic on the fucking cover it's marketing hey how are they like shady white people will pretend yeah they'll pretend they're part native take out the licorice. natural American cigarettes. They make people

2:23:04 They're good though, right? How much money goes to Native Americans for being a part of Native spirits i got bought by like the big company like i need to know There's a black lady on the cover of the label, Aunt Jemima. Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben. and says, first of all, Zero? about things that we've had forever? shouldn't change it as an example like the antima shit like that's i mean the family of

2:26:06 Probably not. No way. Oh, that would be so awesome. That name's fucked. She goes, no, because I spell it differently. Because that dumbass movie. My grandfather's name was Joseph. anything Jamie yeah his dad wanted a girl it's technically after my That's you, Jamie. Yeah, there's a Lindsay Buckingham, that's right. Yeah, but he had a big song on his arm.

2:29:22 Like, it's hitting it. I love Bill, And he's such an angry guy, More, more. In Tennessee. Remember that night when we went to see him? I come home and I think my neighbor's having a raging party. miles away while dead mouse is performing And I live around- That's why sound is able to travel further in Stay in school. Who told you that? It's some damp stuff. It falls right to to the ground it's not hillbilly people here that's the thing it's like that that weird stereotype that i just reinforced

2:33:51 He posted this photo, and it's him. There's a gun pointed at me. It's got not much time before it jumps in there. God bless John Heffron. Yeah. you're supposed to be able to go with a room it's in your name but you know how crazy it's I hate talking about it, man. I'm friends with the governor. We need open-minded, compassionate people that understand business.

2:36:52 It's the most unusual mix of progressive people and also, like, red state folks. They're all happy. Of course. He was fencing? normal life like the neighbors are introducing their family like we're gonna live across the Bernie's going to run next round sitting by the bed? Bernie memes show that the internet No one knew what the fuck was going on, right?

2:39:44 All of it was crazy. Fucking love Bernie, dude. not what they actually stand for. tulsi number one but i didn't necessarily think that that would – I felt like Bernie was the best shot. What about giving them less taxes, less government, less regulation, but also, like, help people What about these fucked up cities that have been there forever? And that's a silly thing, a stoner thing to say a thing that's like so simple

2:42:31 List of possible side effects drug companies to write commercials i believe it's new zealand in the united states and new Mexico doesn't allow drug commercials How are our United States the only one, though? or countries rather, that allow drug companies to make commercials for fucking drugs. Because you're manipulating them. influenced by material possessions and good because we're monkeys we want to collect bananas

2:46:04 going to take care of you. And all of a sudden, this fucking company that sells some anti-anxiety medication that might cause a few suicides here and now and weak-minded people. Yeah. Unless they had a guaranteed 15% and they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's weird, man. and maybe they should just go for a walk. this that phrase makes me skeptical it probably helped me so much. A little? I mean, because you self-meditate.

2:48:01 Or have some of this fine tobacco. It is. Kush? They would just take the ball of hash and put it on something and then just sort of edge back then i drank a little bit but that's it i didn't fuck with drugs because drugs are for This is so pathetic. But they've been with me since I was an open miker. You'd probably be, you'd have a gym or you'd be a carpenter.

2:50:38 You were at like a pier once and you picked up somebody's coat and that coat, that person Scroll up No it's more Tom Green As long as The hair is not Burt But the face It was just the Like whoo Yeah but there's someone else it looks like someone else makes that face as long as the hair is not bird but the face was just that like whoa yeah but There's one time that I was disappointed in myself for not being ready for a moment that I didn't expect.

2:52:23 He was in a wheelchair. I just didn't want to do it. They haven't checked in. I was fighting all the time. You're gonna be on tonight. I was like oh my god. Okay. Thank you A slowing of growth and progress. That's so fortunate. Remember that show? And I was like, hey. He was a really good comic. He was a really good comic. I don't believe so. I don't believe he has

2:56:46 I would love to. I'm just like, how can I do a Kickstarter? that's a different thing too can i get that magic johnson juice it's like that's that's where it's don't know who nobel prize winners are how weird is that it's weird. It's so weird that we know whether or not JLo's butt is real, but we don't know what Bode's Law is. We don't know about how many planets have been discovered. We don't know about how did CRISPR get invented. Are they really making babies with CRISPR? Are they engineering superhumans right now as we speak?

2:59:03 I want to see James Bond win. I'm tired of waiting. You need to be James Bond, dude. I want to see James Bond win. I'm tired of Bond? Daniel Craig by a is legitimately out there fucking people up. who doesn't love Sean Connery? John L. Sullivan with his mustache. You got two options, if you're being honest. Sean Connery is a wonderful actor. about smacking chicks.

3:01:40 he's gonna win i'm so sorry i never got into guy. He's the only one that seems like a real killer. The most recent one. And you have to look at this as an individual occurrence. you really want to be honest you you grew up with Roger Moore but you knew Timothy Dalton. He always won. Ooh, smooth spy. it's daniel craig that's a real killer that's a person who kills people he nailed it

3:04:13 No, no. It was one of his movies. So, that was before Is that Don Knotts as a cop? Yeah, this was that He's driving away to get away from the cops. he was in smoky and the bandit but he was also in the hustler which is like an amazing dramatic movie so he went from and people hustler like for netflix iced tea no no, no. No, you need that story. But he wasn't really Minnesota Fats.

3:07:54 wide world of sports damn they used to have these wide world sports pool matches i remember the Like world class pool player. Crazy. and a bullshit artist. She could lie. When did he write Queen's Gambit? yeah dude back then when that was that night moves Bob Seger no no the movie Oh. Jerry. But one name. Assholes. What's his real name? Actually what's Steve

3:12:43 Hell yeah What does it say? you can turn it off for a different country. Well, there's another one right here. dude he was on an episode of Fear Factor he's a very nice guy David Hasselhoff look how realistic dude I'd have to shoot that with arrows. Get that away from me. He's gone from being like this heartthrob on this TV show Yeah, it's amazing how it worked for him,

3:16:27 That's the guy's name, the character. He's my favorite. Okay. Oh, my God. Listen, you've got to think. soap opera and there was a drama what are they called? How the fuck is he getting Laura? I'm guessing CBS. Zero news until I was deep in my 20s. I was a news junkie even as a baby you can get you can seek comfort in ideas that other people agree to like you can find a bunch

3:20:16 like i can't stay here like we're this is bad like we shouldn't be staying here and that Come with us. like read the first page and it would be like and then you get to the cave do you want to only two options it's either go to the cops or like or like rob the place or do this or do that or is it largely ignored? I was trying to run it through my head.

3:23:16 that's a weird thing too, We weren't the worst. Because if you tell people they have to be celibate, We need to be touched physically, like friends and hugs and stuff like that. Can we just spoon? So it was always run, hide, get in the cave, start the fire, I'll tell you why. january 25th 2021 that's when i figured that out really today day old yeah today i didn't know i did i found that out recently as an adult that's kind of weird i just found out

3:25:32 I don't want tortilla chips. Tortilla soup is nonsense. That's like a sign. Yeah. It's like tripe and liver. It was in Woodland Hills. point to them, They're open. It's called the Big Burrito. You probably just saved their life. Hold my cerveza. of being a soap opera actor. It's a really funny character. But he just, it was like this ongoing comedy routine that we did.

3:29:43 I'm putting tea tree oil on all my scratches. A lot of fun and you got that gig man you would work for a long ass time and they do yeah how long did luke and I mean, I might have jumped when I just said they're still there, What about that? Can you see who it is? Distracted. That's what I'm saying. Short round? dressed up like... His name is Short Round? Yeah. I have my girlfriend dressed up. His name was Short Round?

3:32:35 Those are fortune cookies. I'm sorry I was talking about secret shows it was like July until Tony did a show at Vulcan. which is great that you feel like comedy it there's a lot of music that's created here in Austin. of these cool motherfuckers on the wall back there. I don't even really know if it's true, Like, there's a culture of art here. your ideals to like what people like how they react to what they react to positively and then you don't take as many chances because you're really worried about not being able to get

3:36:21 where comedy is just comedy like like we all agree, you say That's what we can have here. knows you say something ridiculous you don't mean it it's just you're trying to hit that spot these dirty jokes you got to do clean comedy like i'll never forget would hear about and people would go to go see them. If you're a real comic, you're like, I'm going to go see that guy see that guy he's at this place i'm gonna go see her she's over here you would go see someone who's

3:39:36 Whether they're Comedy Central or any place, That sketch is too offensive. Why are we removing subjects? Shouldn't we have all the fun words and just know how to use them correctly Why is it still going on in media? You have to start back at the show. That girl that you're bringing up your daughter watches 25 million viewers you have Not that. When they're 30?

3:42:18 They're still using really old technology, though, forever because they're gonna put tv view it that way because they still pay for you like the last like a black and white photograph the people who make their control the marvel cinematic universe get in the chat board, see what's this mean? I turned that shit off Alright What is that? It was almost R-rated.

3:45:34 netflix i think it's uh it's about japanese spider-man it's very interesting love to see Infinity. and you got... Keaton's gonna be out for Batman with CGI you could be Batman anybody could be Batman now Michael Keaton that was really Yes. We get used to that pattern and it feels good when it ends like that. and I was waiting for some cookie-cutter ending.

3:47:49 I heard it's really good. it seems like i need a notebook oh there was so much going on it was wild it's a wild ass movie Spoiler alert. Powerful of those movies like i gotta i gotta watch this again when i'm like less tired i fucked up i yes thank you