Joe Rogan Experience #1621 — Jim Breuer Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! Oh, okay. hardball. Right. remember watching the show so excited for you and then and then after hardball because I'd always But I remember just being in LA, just hanging out, talking to you. people got a fucker successful so you had some like uh high school boy like the posters on the wall like these kind no he's not look at the chaps you don't even see the chaps in that picture he's got he's got a

4:03 I had dangling cross earrings you're like, Yeah. And I looked at myself in the mirror. Dude, I swear in my life, I went to this little show. and I remember and I just That's so silly. Yeah. He's like, bro, go to the gym. But you stayed who you were and that i Like, I've been to parties at friends' house that have, like, really cool friends. and they have the FOMO, the fear of missing out.

8:12 So I'm working with some person. The side view mirror starts dangling. They have to have that thing where they show, I've got the Lamborghini. you're a family man like i love the fact that I wanted nothing to do with anybody. I didn't want SNL. for him to be comfortable around us like the news radio people the actors were super friendly no rhyme or reason yeah there's no rhyme or reason. Yeah. There's no rhyme or reason.

12:38 You're fighting to get your pieces on. I wish I had the business smarts to go back and do that because it would have been so much fun. I mean're, it would have been, it would have been so much fun. I don't want to rehash bad memories. You went so far. When you start thinking that the government is watching you. But I will say this. You're a private weed smoker?

14:54 And I haven't smoke smoked. Yes. I like it dirty. My wife, this is why my wife's a powerhouse. And she's like, look at you I'm good. I just want to let you know I'm writing the same thing. and then... so I'm waiting to bring my A stuff for that. and so you end up beating certain kids reading to school children rudolph cause you don't want to fucking

19:26 And so, and that particular instance was, had a guitar, looking at his dress room. He had a nice dress room. Had it all set up. Had a guitar. That it's been from the top down. And I was like, you motherfucker. stop him from stealing where I played a drunk guy. He was the greatest drunk character in history. Salute. This bomb has passed. I'm here to salute.

22:09 And there's an airplane sketch where he does. And I remember the writer coming up saying, yeah, Lauren doesn't like drunks because, you know, the past and John and blah, blah, blah. So by the time the big finale was towards the end, Because that's not really their department. he couldn't get through some of the sketches I was doing with him. the dress like he couldn't keep a straight face

24:24 he laughed because now we So he would say, no, you're not. And then that summer, this guy named uh gary considine he ran the tonight You're angry all the time. Wow. You know, remember that bit? and you can do the whole thing yourself in all the different seasons of SNL Each week, you'd see a new celebrity like you do you see people come in and out of here so you start i'm sure there's things that

28:46 told D and went I don't know if this person was I maybe they were 18 I don't know oh no and I Maybe they're just really good at politics, or paper airplanes. I'm like, man, they'll love you more. I don't give a fuck. someone to go oh do you want to get hot oh no yeah I went, no. No. You need a friend. Club, I don't know if I was 21 yet. I don't think I was because it was my friend from high school

33:06 he was on fire back then yeah he was this is before i did stand up i was just going to see He was so good in the 80s, people don't know. Never repeated a joke I learned his last little glimmer of hope i totally blew that one i ran into him a short while before he So when you do your shows. And I think the division that we have in this country is very disturbing.

36:21 It's a big part of it. you should watch it it's so disturbing because they're essentially setting this up and it I really do feel that way. And one of them was like, find the fraud. and basically what he said is, come out. But it means that someone who was an anti-Trump person, who was like an unnamed and and um i said i had it i had in december and i didn't tell anyone because i didn't i'm put on

40:04 So I know I've been sick on the road. but I can breathe. They both negative. positive. And she was, she clearly got sick. My wife's sick. I'm sick now. None of us, He goes, do you have a high fever? He goes, I need you to get the test. but she's doing great. I test a positive. Can we speak to your daughter? call my house government. You just hey, man, what can we do?

44:49 And she got hospitalized. if neither one of them hurt you or kill you while you're still waiting to see what this does? So why isn't that being done? thought was going to be far more severe than it turned out to be, There's 6% of the people who died from COVID only had COVID. meaning like obesity. Gout three times a year. He's a mess. He's totally Rob's dying.

48:00 Went on a mountain. What? some stuff for a while i was on the internet like dude my dude jfk is coming back i was It's brain damage. Then it turned out he had strokes. They have to FaceTime. And who said he was COVID? His heart rate starts going up. elderly in elderly homes you got to quarantine all that what keeps the workers safe what keeps And if it is safety, then it's stupidity.

52:40 I mean, they wear the tightest You're going to allow them to keep you from seeing them? Yeah. All that stuff is – do you know what a nocebo is? Because your body is on a positive trip. In 2007, there was a guy that was a part of a trial that they were doing a double blind placebo controlled trial on antidepressants. They bring him into the emergency room.

54:47 They bring the physician in. His blood pressure balances. 15 minutes later, he's fine. And then their immune system crashes. What voodoo is, is you tell someone, if you're a charismatic person, My hand to God, when I start my show, Now I'm able to So I did a Metallica tour, right? I think that's amazing. got his ass kicked, She's depressed because he won't, he won't, he doesn't want to live anymore.

58:48 And she said, okay, well, I'll bring you to Metallica. she saw how happy goes and buys a couple more tickets, and he's got life. could find the email she goes oh my god jim you're not gonna believe what's going on i think we're You know how when a song comes on, you get goosebumps? There's songs in it Yeah. really cool guy i mean you think about a guy that has been through so much craziness like

1:02:26 Like, you get all the rock stars in the world. They could do a tour in the middle of the Sahara Desert, I really don't. What would you learn from them? I learned from all these fucking scientists and people that I've had on, all these brilliant people. I learned from Matt Musk I learned from Lex Friedman I learned from all these fucking scientists 11 years now?

1:03:48 I remember I only been in one UFC fight, and I don't think I need to see another. And it was McGregor versus Spanish name dude. and it looked like someone spray-painted a purple on the inside of his leg. and I loved everything about it. is that the best you caught? Something like and he's going for the final choke him out she covered her eyes and went oh my god this must be a horror show oh my god come on she covered her eyes and went oh my god

1:07:05 Diaz? It's a different fight. okay that makes sense it was mendez yes and so mendez eyes i saw his eyes that's a different He wasn't ready for it. That's your video? Look at that. This... Bro, that was one of the greatest. I play the locals. The Mirage, I said, let me check my book. It's weird now. I was just there for the fights last weekend. No one.

1:10:23 they're not going to be around that much longer. I'll fly in for that. Yeah, April God, I love Florida. they're coming from every angle into Florida. Florida's got a little too much stupid. Unfortunately. It's a lot of sun. It's a little death. It's a little stupid. Flora's got a little too much stupid, unfortunately. It was... Coconut's Comedy Club in St. Pete. Ron Bennington, the same Ron Bennington that's on the radio?

1:12:03 Yeah. Bill Gardell consistent Tiger. I got mad at Mike when I saw that one. i came up with that you know you didn't there was one joke that everybody had in boston is uh um in Clearly. That's insane. Then comics will go up that are local When it's terrible, everybody makes fun of them. But it's also to be there Jimmy will find out. Dude, you're gonna love it. It's great.

1:16:24 Stubbs. So Stubbs amphitheater. We COVID test the whole So where do you play? Like live Don't you play out here? Yeah We've been doing stubs Stubs There's a giant But it's a And then we've also been doing Vulcan Gas Company sometimes. Oh, yeah. And I'm going to... Oh, really? Yeah. from helium oh really yeah yeah he's hitting austin yeah wait a minute did i mark grossman yeah yeah he's doing um they're doing it at the domain which is this really nice shopping area of uh of austin it's a great place smart very smart really very smart place to put it because

1:18:17 I'm so stupid. I came back and I was like, oh my God, I want to infect a guest. I don't know who's opening tonight what tonight man I creaked open the door I don't know. COVID breath. I don't even know what just happened. It's a walking around barefoot, banging your toes on things. and it's also very influential, right? That's what they were trying to do.

1:21:39 Uh-oh. who tried to they got pictures on walls now where where the indians are drawing where they're No, no, no. It was taboo and hidden for the most part. No, there was men that identified as women. Like, it's not fake, right? been a lot of people that were like idiots but then they become trans and now all of a sudden now daughter, going into high school

1:26:07 I don't think you're allowed to say transvestite anymore. Drag queen. She thinks it's hilarious. They dress up like drag queens. Now, I'll just say this. like it wakes cancer up and it waits and hangs out in your body. first time i saw her poor you know i'm playing godzilla and pac-man and the next thing you know He just never liked his penis. Your dad's Jim Brewer.

1:30:24 He never liked his penis. Yeah. So I just question not anyone out there. Think about it. They haven't been around that long in terms of these gender or these hormone blockers and you're If someone wanted a nose job, like maybe someone has a really fucked up nose, a deformed hump on their nose, and you take that thing down and then they look much better and they're much happier.

1:33:35 own choices but when you're talking about really young children and then you have all this and you use absolutes, like this is where they want to be, It's called Irreversible Damage. And statistically speaking, it doesn't necessarily make sense your own without your parents giving permission when you're 15 which is crazy and you know when well this is probably the problem because they don't want anyone saying anything that's contrary

1:36:45 about the human body and about hormones but they were trying to pretend that it wouldn't have any I mean, if no one's paying, They don't exist in the real world. type of people that go to school, they get indoctrinated into that environment, and then they wind up teaching. And they also make you think along lines where you know that it's not logical.

1:39:13 to compete in the sex that they identify with. Well, no, that's crazy. No, we must not allow that And there's some women that are going to be superior athletically. chain, Olympic gold medalist, who will leave her in the dust school and here I from the bullshit nothing that will prep them for anything child would do so much better if it just... it's a simple drug. So they started

1:43:18 It is. People wouldn't be running around. There was a lot of craz wacky social shit? All of it. Not necessarily. People wouldn't be running around. Well, money's fake. don't have time right you don't have time for any of that shit darwin's theory you're not you're A lot of them also are in a position of power for the first time in their life. So much like a newly famous person that wants a white tiger, they become

1:46:17 space and this woman who was a professor was uh yelling at him to put the camera down. He's like, I'm reporting for the school. So he puts it online, and she winds up having to apologize, and everybody freaks out. This woman immediately went to force. and all three have said the same thing in pure terror. They got the lawmakers. is they become obsessed with gender.

1:49:29 And that's a part of it. TV shows... like he's falling apart. So therefore, you, it's almost like you're programmed. They will say a lot of crazy shit about Arabs or about Palestinians, and you'll go like, And it's all negative. But if you have some sort of a message about Trump, like that they would kick you out of the office they don't give a fuck about that the ideology

1:53:07 I am the puppet master. You got wacky shit like Newsmax or oan one american network Why don't you wear five masks and I don't have to wear any? And I take off the mask to eat, and the air above me is going, and she, well. They took him off the plane, but he was throwing a fit, because people are now saying you can't continue working. There's doctors doing it. There's doctors doing it.

1:55:52 and Joe goes, Jim, listen, they said you need to get vaccinated. pointing out the fact that you keep these antibodies for a long time. Rand Paul talking to Fauci. Hold on. five, eight months after infection, just like Jamie does. we're not going to be shaking hands anymore. He kept questioning, you, Fauci, are talking about the science. But what you'll see on media later today, I guarantee you, will be Fauci with something he says as to, oh, Fauci says we need to X, Y, Z.

1:58:58 And you know when this began? Bro. Why? That's a push. I'm forced to go there. flowers and ducks and puppies. Is your life going to change that second? It's a crime on humanity's minds. I think there'm not saying any news. It should not be up there. It's a mind crime. You're telling everyone at that when you're just sitting down in a place If you wear a mask on a plane, if you don't want to wear a mask,

2:01:54 You agreed. But the problem is, even if you do wear the mask, if you take it off to eat, all bets are off. It starts making more... It makes a lot more sense when you start doing that. Either COVID is so fucking contagious that it transfers even when people are wearing masks and social distancing. the flu the flu just it just it worked on the flu so what is it is it that that these masks

2:03:57 this is a COVID infection. Yeah, a lot of other things happen. And unless you're dying, take vitamin C, D, and zinc according to infectious disease doctor. I'll tell you that. I wasn't very funny. Life is crazy. Makes me nuts. That's what it is. With Zach De La Rocha, the whole deal? I've got my windows rolled down, and I'm going what am I 14 I'm worried that the kids that are coming up that don't recognize that they are being mentally manipulated

2:07:42 that they'll be so trapped in this ideology that down conservative speakers and blowing bullhorns and setting off fire alarms. uncomfortable environments where people discuss things, and you get to hear one person's perspective It's hard to do. Yeah. All those things are wonderful. I don't want you to like the things I like. it puts you in a very vulnerable position socially,

2:11:02 if you don't toe the line chilly really i get chilly a lot my hands get chilly what's going on man is that a post-covid An area where Yeah. Tell Joe, make sure he finds it. New Jersey's actually a good place to learn to hunt. Yeah, you could. You'd have to indie in it? Give it blessings. Right. thing he's like oh bro i'll bring it okay so it was all hooked up but i remember having dinner

2:15:41 to survive not not to and i really want to start getting into that bro i really want to learn how to fish, all to survive, not to— because there's a little part of me that's freaked out i'm gonna be blatantly honest here there's a little part my wife Listen to me. If I'm on my own, it's hit or miss. do and what i don't what i can do and what i can't do by myself and i have a limited amount of time

2:18:09 how to do it this idea that once civilization collapses oh then i'll learn hunting the fuck So with this hunting, I still It's fucking really hard. in the towers. What did I say? You meant 9-11. I think your friend might be full of shit. You're 40. But this guy, he shows me his stuff, and he tells me to say he's going to— He spends two weeks in the middle of nowhere.

2:20:41 like solar chargers to charge his cell phone in the mountains. It took 28 days until he was successful. men i hear I saw its tail, and I'm like, oh my God, that's a cat. But that was less clear than the Santa Barbara one. It wasn't even a big grizzly bear. they get they get way way bigger than that so this one looking at me but the the darkness in its eyes man it's like shark

2:23:36 Oh, that's terrifying. Scuba diving? and then it made a complete left and didn't want anything to do with us. most of the time, it's not coming to eat you. And they're like, oh, I don't want to deal with you. Straight on. There's one... Watch this. Oh! Good. Bull sharks swim upriver, so they swim in freshwater. It was a river that was They probably thought it was a seal or something. They thought it was food. They don't give a fuck. This is like early 1900s where they wore those goofy Popeye-style bathing suits. Yes.

2:27:14 But there's people in Florida. Tiger sharks. No, I don't. Tap out to what? Costa Rica's nice. You gotta acquire enough money Everybody chips in and make sure you've got a lot of bullets. Where are you going? The thing is, children are not supposed to take those fucking malaria shots. His name is Justin Ren. parasite that it was very difficult for them to even identify at first they didn't know what it

2:30:37 dangerous that's the big danger yeah we we were we i was there years ago and we came on this beautiful island they'll swim up your dick In your dick hole. I made all that that's why i don't even want to go to a hospital they do swim this in the amazon they do swim up your dick hole yes my biggest i i'm looking like one of my biggest fears The fish with a bad rep for human

2:32:11 He's trying to blast him out right now. What is that? I think. It's just because I don't want a catheter in it. Oh. and he did his residency in Miami One guy... You know one of them curly, like, pine cone-looking light bulbs? Yes dolls one guy you know one of them curly like You ever seen the guy that had the, and then it shattered. bodies but around the two girls one cup days people were shoving all kinds of things up their

2:35:13 Are you true? what I'm saying? they want to stuff things I hate myself. I am not going to encourage these videos. That's all I need. for pictures, and then one of them started saying, like, myth. instructor and Napoleon Dynamite that's the other thing I wanted to do. Anthony Bourdain didn't start until he was like 58. Get out of here. So there is a putt, but it's hard to find where that place is.

2:37:58 Jersey. I guarantee you. I'm an hour. and it makes you feel good when you get out life one day was this one guy sensei romeo he would give these long he was a little guy but So I just remember him talking about if you know you're not gonna win a blah blah blah blah so cut to this is weird joe just silence that's what I do. But I've done this a long...

2:41:03 of him right now? it's my last night there's a glass thing This huge biker comes. You disrespected my family outside. That's my concern. To this day, I don't know why I was so calm. To this day, I don't know why I was so calm. He goes, tonight, my sister passed out now okay we're okay now now people are starting starting like, I said, oh man. and the people are, and they're howling.

2:45:30 okay that's where I'm going to fall when he hits me as long as I can until at least well So now my job is to get that attention off you And this guy, on my kid's life's hope I die if I'm lying, started crying. Fucking me up to go to jail because of his drunk. That's all I heard. Nonstop. What's that? So you want to learn how to fight. When you're hit from behind

2:49:50 Ponce de Leon. You don't train that. And that's what I was saying. You're like, Jim, I'm telling you right now, this person's- There's very few bullshit schools. Right. And they practice on each other and the guy falls down and pretends to be hurt. you, there's nothing you can do about it. an encounter with a trained martial artist most people just think they're badasses right you know

2:53:08 to do the fake shit he goes yeah let's do it bro i think 30 seconds i was coughing up a lung It's also learning how to breathe like you got to learn how to breathe while you're punching learn how to breathe while you're getting punched right so one of the things that nick diaz used to I'm ready for it. Make people laugh. Go in the jungle dick keep your dick out of the river very important make people laugh go in the jungle keep my dick out of the river the thing the the river has fucking crocodiles that's what you really have to worry about those motherfuckers

2:54:55 Yeah. And they don't give a shit. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. the shit that was the thing like dudes want to be shit they would wear a pair of gators Think of that. Oh, yeah? Is that what you're saying What's Captiva No The east side's the hoopla? Right I was like I got a couple No. They're like, did you just move around here, buddy? Yeah, and within, but what threw me off was, within a minute, I'm like, wait a minute. How'd they drag that kid from there to like 100 yards in three seconds?

2:58:53 I don't hear shit. Whoa, that sounds like a werewolf. Now that's... There's a fox that lives near my house. Remember that wild fox became Because they were worried He clearly When he was like I think so He was staying there Because they're starving. And we are. I just ran into this guy again years ago. Did you meet Tiger King? Why did you not watch Tiger King, though?

3:02:47 I haven't watched it. It's like Grizzly Man, but six hours long. It's amazing. They're not wise. Yes. first of all i think he was a societal outcast i think he he got some weird sort of power and That was the other thing that he found. Those bears out there, their own little picnic. You made the eyes. That's right. Animals We got eaten, for sure. We got eaten until

3:05:40 Maybe Tanzania or Zimbabwe. And so he hunted them and killed them for them, But then once we're protected, You know, we're just aware. He's super loved. But if you're around feral dogs, feral dogs are dangerous because no one's taking care of them. it's very hard for dangerous people to become non-dangerous, okay, do we, is there still a good soul here?

3:08:23 Or they were worse The worst way possible He went away And came out When I was like 20 16 and then he went away he was a little older than me he went away and came out And the guy was chopped up. Yeah, that's a grudge. there was no sparring it was a fight to the death wow it's great he was crazy wow now he would just and what does jail do to them to make them a good person?

3:11:06 Yeah, I got a gig tonight. Time flies in here. Six. Oh, Jesus. Let's wrap this up. You got to eat. Six o'clock. Jim Brewer, you're the fucking man. Nutty Brown. The Nutty Brown. Okay. What time's your show? Six. I love seeing you, too. You, too. Okay.