Joe Rogan Experience #1642 — Andrew Santino Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. I don't like it either. We're going. It's actually longer when I started working for him. Every time. It's like you do. That's what I'm saying. I love you, too. I went to do it before the pandemic started. Let's go out and get lit up tonight and let's shave your head. Let's make history right now. I have a pretty cool mullet if I cut it right right now, too.

2:18 He's like the mullet king of the comedy world. And man, if for some reason Stack a TV on a TV. There's like a whole untapped market. Can we talk about that? What's a Stan Smith? He's dressed up, but he's dressed down. The suit with sneakers on. You can get both ways. Yeah, they're just shoes. Aren't there? Like a girl's, Because like Chucks, You know?

5:54 Really? Oh, you liked ankles. Beautiful girl. built. She was just, you know, some girls throwing some dude around. She throws I am such a giant fan of Snoop Dogg's Instagram. Why people? Why people? Whenever all inside of himself. And he starts hitting himself And he starts bawling, and the dude's like, this is who works here, huh? That's her. Look at her pushing that guy around.

7:58 Nothing. She was pissed. Growing up in Long Beach and then becoming someone that's like, She has a tremendous base and a lifetime She's saying this lady sold her some crack, but it wasn't crack. Let me restart it, because I went too far. Rock. What's going on? So she left me around the corner. Did she come back 10 minutes later and holler, give me my money back? What the fuck, man?

10:34 I'm a prostitute. I sell this drug. There's a never-ending supply of those videos. because I have to ask you. I saw that I will fuck you up. Jake Paul. Money. He said there was 1.5 million pay-per-view buys when he knocked out Ben Askren. If he's telling the truth, they made a fucking considerable amount of money, in finance explained to me what Triller was the Triller event now verify this

13:23 on it and make money and sell it to oracles. I don't know if that's true. And that was this gigantic, huge fight. The money wasn't... Did something happen with the money? Like you upload videos and all that shit? You sound so white. He was using Triller. Correct. You guys can't do it, but we're going to do it. And I go, Joe. You're going to cover up your camera?

15:55 get you, then they have to admit that they've been doing this White House commented on what I said Yeah, I had Rona. And they said they were there, but they weren't super strong. I believe they're safe and i encourage many people to take I'd be like, you're on the ropes. I'm older now. i was like oh my friend is 50 and i was starting to plan your funeral i was like i was going through

18:39 I take a fucking pallet of vitamins. listen, Right? Okay? aren't those people vaccinated? And shouldn't we vaccinate the vulnerable people? And then we'd Go over their podcast. No. You know, and I say stupid shit. But just don't lie. Let me say one other thing. And he said, we'll set one aside when you come in for the fights. clinic. So can you come to the hospital?

21:33 Medication again. I'm not a doctor. I'm a fucking moron and I'm a cage fighting commentator Who's a dirty stand-up comedian? We just told you I'm drunk most of the time Yes. My parents felt nothing. He goes, it was actually kind of scary. Oh, dude. it's like up to my eyeball now. I was like and but and I learned by the way when they block you they can only do one half of your mouth at

23:32 So they had to, so apparently, you know, whoever regulates the American Dental Association, that's i think our parents are just too tough they've lived through my grandmother's 90 and i when she So I'm sorry if I don't give them credit But it's the worst thing that's happened to you. Like we only know what we know and we only want, we've only, Jamie.

26:13 But it gives you a nice, This is all just information for the DEA 100% Yeah, when are they gonna analyze that Jesus Christ didn't they wait? We didn't they in the Pacific Northwest isn't it legal it is in Portland right in Oregon Oregon made he's even giving in they lit the lobby of his apartment building on fire and he had to move out and it doesn't make any sense

27:51 And it's fun because it's more fun than not doing that because they don't have anything. And then there's this lady, just fat lady, like, you know, no respect for her body in Right. They're very progressive. It's like you're playing a game, and you can't win, He's realizing. and they're all dressed in black, behind violent protests. Cut to When you look at these foreign governments that hire these mercenary crews to come in and get rid of dissidents,

30:10 You defunded the fucking police. really cool black guys who are friendly with him and these guys shake their hand and he's It's just a guy who's a dick and he's being a dick to some guys who are being pretty friendly with him right? cops get empowered so a lot of guys that are assholes that are cops which is not all cops Helping community. fires? The thing is climate change.

33:02 You just want to survive and get home to your family. But it just gets skewed down by this, the loud people going, But, I i mean that's Right. You can't say everything is everything. Fool me twice, shame on me. The root of the problem is, unlike you or me, some people grow up in the worst fucking and go, why are they still like this and how come we haven't fixed that?

36:05 birth in this country now some people that have that got given a shitty deck of cards also have some rapper or a comic how many of them fall into a life of crime and wind up being incarcerated that can also fuck you up just as bad. Well, yeah, right. But they're also, like fighters, they get head injuries. I have friends that are in the NFL, and my beef is their optics were so important to them, but I, but it was not based

38:31 A little touch-up? I'm super supportive of So they fight for the right to protest our flag. No. instead of that, you know, whatever you say about Colin Kaepernick as an athlete or what he did, what that guy did for sure was highlight this ability to protest and Muhammad Ali was— Now you look at him as a hero to a community that he gave people a fucking voice.

40:56 and then Muhammad Ali had a rematch with Leon Spinks, Right. And then in 1970 when he came back, I think it was Jerry Quarry. When you go back to his fights against Cleveland big cat Williams, bro. He was so fast yeah and my parents were all in that's that's how much of an icon he was right my parents don't give They didn't tell me I couldn't do it, which is great.

44:01 something to my she think you're funny yes she's coming to my show that's a big And I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah, that's wild. fucking look at that shit like he's it's almost like he's like what are the odds he goes how does He likes it. But you know what I'm saying? that you focus your energy on It's always been training or really hard working out. I have an obligation but occasionally I do know so like there's this book that I've been trying to get out to people because I

47:38 I've always been kind of skeptical, but I verify things, you know, If you believe something that other people maybe don't see and it's going to be controversial to say, It's easy to. Don't take it personal. What's the third one? You know, Jamie, when I come in here, I saw you. Don't make assumptions. It's so good, dude. By the way, it applies to everything.

50:22 but read it and just read it, rip through it. It can't be the thing you think about in the next time. So good minds, best golfers are able to just woof and disappear that stuff. and he's coached a lot of people over the years. And the one thing he says is the best athletes They're not even remembering they fucked up. but it's so good for you it's so good for you because when you do bomb you learn like oh my

53:00 Really? so bad in the OR and Joey was so nice about it that it just kind of like oh yeah that's what you said at the end matters if you keep trying new jokes. Oh yeah. That's what you jokes. Yeah. But some guys saw you on the or like a month ago and you were doing some shit you did on the road with me seven somebody, first of all, you were never a clock watcher, which I'm always so nervous about.

55:14 the fuck off stage you were always being are working with is smashing because they're doing stuff you haven't seen before and it's new and that's not writing new jokes enough? It's like I was giving them chances. so many people here there's so many people here it's so great but then you get into a rhythm and I get out there because you're kind of, you're tense and you're like, all right, I have to fucking take on all these motherfuckers.

57:24 But then we started doing clubs. We came back here to Austin and did Cap City together and did a bunch of shows, big ass theaters, and then we were doing arenas too. But then we started doing clubs. I miss a lot of people. It's not the same place. Because he's got fucking great clubs in Portland and he's got great clubs in Philly, everywhere. what it means to Austin.

58:45 It'd be weird. I thought for a while about doing a store out here, you're right yeah there's a lot of you said that I almost started crying yeah I was like fuck you the whole idea is just to support comedy. And I want to make it a safe place for wild people where you could just get wild. Yeah. My goal financially is to break even. It's all confidentiality shit.

1:01:19 I'll tell you that later. him in the hallway. If I showed him pictures, he'll say no. I can't, dude, because Dylan's down here. You are pretty hot, though. you know how good of an album quite portly I can feel it Joe, what number shoes Jordans are though? You could go one out of 30, sure. No, no, no, that's the number 11 shoe. Are those patent leather?

1:03:18 I'd wear those. like you won't wear high tops though no no see that's the problem some of the best What did Chuck know? So you don't get stuck. So, the way cowboy boots work, they slip on and slip off. following me so close. go over the front of the car. You don't just get fucked up. You might get fucked up I was like, are you out of your fucking mind?

1:05:33 You have a really good Norman. It's Giannis Pappas, Mark Norman, and we got drunk on kombucha. They did a five and a half I've done a few fives. Couldn't fucking leave. I mean, come on, man. People are going to come out here. You think Texas won't give them tax breaks? One away from California. This is all because of things because of things. Okay, look, you moved here.

1:07:56 I'm sitting in the wildfire, baby. Good. I go, fellas, jump in. So if someone invades your home not describing just me, but basically he's a security expert, 06 when I moved there. I moved in the winter of 06. For who? who that is. What happened? No, I love him to death. I just Don't make me listen to you talk. Oh, he wants me to hear his fucking car that drives itself. What do you care?

1:10:46 it a mammoth, which is ridiculous. He jacks up the horsepower. I like that. A truck is dumb. You know about the Trackhawk? Shout out to my friend Matt Farah. high as fuck, wearing a NASA outfit, Challenger? No, they're not. A Charger's a four-door, you fucking idiot. The old ones are beautiful. They're very different. The one on the right here is the Charger.

1:13:26 You should go to jail for this. Look at that one on the right. No, it doesn't do it for me at all. Have you seen the new Shelby GT500? You should. I wanna go fast. Yeah, you're first, you're last. Fuck. Still has a fucking... No, I like it. Yeah, they look like shit. Not anymore. American muscle I'm gonna keep talking that fucking nonsense. Like a fucking smart kid that's gonna figure out how to get to the moon quick.

1:16:05 Look at that. Look at that. Stupid. Stupid. What are you saying? What looks like a dumb toy. Don't give me that right-hand drive shit. Look at that. So you can see where you're going. Because I drive like this. is that ultimately all cars are going to be I'm not interested in that low steering wheel. I like it to go over the top. But I think the Why does it show the Witcher

1:17:29 Fucking game. What can you upgrade? You can change the color of the seats and the color of the dash. You sure have my feelings. Bro, that looks dope. As long as I've known you. You fucking liar. I'm about to order But I had to studio. Yeah. Before you showed up. Did he have fur coat? I want you to have a grill. with diamonds in them. like a cornrows.

1:19:50 Oh, God. It's like dirty knotted hair. Yeah. Go to that one. totally offensive? Who's that quote. Joe, I'm offended. Is that how far we've fallen? Oh he's not black? Is that what you do? Can you imagine me with fucking red dreads? and Demi Lovato a giant pass. I've said this about him. hole in him well it's that but it's also what we were talking about the beginning of the show

1:23:17 Right. I think you're right. It's got to be 20, 30% of bots. How do I delete a story? Correct. Yeah. Up until a certain time, and then they opened up the platform, so I remember I That's every single one. Oh, it is. Like, I've even seen, if a bot will comment on my page, see you in Texas next month, girly. You're like who's buying this fucking bull right who is buying millions of humans the same guys that are sucking into these fucking bots

1:26:32 I hope so. I read something about that. Manhattan to stop prosecuting. Yeah, I myself don't get prostitutes. So that just means they won't prosecute you, but they'll bust you, but they won't charge you, right? I'll let you read it. but I need to go to the government first. What? That's a weird word. Substantive. What? I was just trying to have fun I know what vice is. It's a fucking website.

1:29:40 That's your next special. Name from a comedy club. Okay. That's like I learned what this means. which is how my kids thought you're supposed to punch people when I was first teaching them karate. You want to box? It'll be the worst punches. Oh, if you see this in public, this is a real thing When he comes back, we're going to talk about that. I was at the meeting.

1:32:01 If you saw a woman in public do this, do you know what that means? When you go into a bathroom in the airport, you know how it says and go fuck those dudes up beat the shit out of those dudes it's all the above Yes. dominoes and they're like 911 you're like I've seen that on the internet a lot now. Cauliflower crust I feel like if you're gonna have pizza

1:34:23 Yeah but gelato's great Ben & Jerry's? The flavors of gelato are just as endless have a show Yeah, It's ice cream versus gelato. Okay, do it. I'll buy you a house in East LA. We have tent. But here's the problem with that. They then found out, you can look up the articles about it, so many of these fucking chains were not giving any of these rooms to people.

1:37:04 There is no specific way so Give it to me. Yeah. Well, no, that's their job is to deal with the homeless situation LA dedicates $1 billion to fight homelessness. And I remember how fucked up they got. They got really lit up online. They got criticized. Felony fights. What is this? to the death in a fucking orange orchard. That's the title? And the dude's out cold, just getting blasted in the head,

1:40:46 One-hundredth of one percent of all the people that have ever lived you've seen the most I will say, when we were on tour and we would go do a show in the UFC the next night, It wasn't like a job. It just it doesn't feel like a job I guess is what I'm trying to say no I want to honor it. Listening to you call it right there behind, it's a special thing.

1:43:10 And they started making out. Is Nate Marquardt and Brad Tavares? It's super necessary. and the reporters asked him, is it necessary for you to keep punching him like that? He said that. Yeah, I did say that I wasn't going to interview people after the fight. Because whether it was Zhang Weili or whether it was Askren or rather Masvidal getting KO'd like that.

1:45:07 like a lot of people have turned on that class said, hi, you introduced me to him. We were in Atlanta You can't fake that. He's an American And afterwards, he's like, hey, you know me, man. Yeah. I rarely hear the asshole putting on the show afterwards. 100%. to win. I think he's a gangster. But very few people thought he was going to beat Jon Jones.

1:47:56 He's maybe the baddest man of all time. turning on the gas in the last rounds. He did the same thing that Alexander Gustafson. He fought Stefan Bonner. in that fight, and they gave the decision to Matt Hamill. Is there any truth to that? Which is your hands your hands are the most... Look how much that moves. You want a shin. That would hurt my hand.

1:50:31 because it protects your hands. I'm not going to say no. Oh, that's crazy. to the head like that, the kick is great. fucked them all up. Oh my god Boom Not a fan are now fighting and all due respect She just signed with, she might be as hot as a human being can get. She's a level of hot. It's got to be, right? I've heard of her. You don't get hotter. You just get different.

1:53:10 He's, like, the champion of Letwe. No, I like Paige. But here's the thing. So there's novelty. look at we need no we need some tourism, they just barely forgot fighting off the Indians. Bare knuckle, I guess. It's a beautiful country. Right. And I remember thinking that and going, Because Chris is way bigger. And I saw these cuts and I was like, okay, that'll shorten a career.

1:56:22 and so it's more impactful on a fighter's overall longevity. when, in fact, this documentary I watched, he didn't say dude he speaks in like more eloquent terms your fucking brain can get clapped homie When you're paraphrasing He told me that you rattling your cage, man. It's not good. Well, this is the same thing with rugby versus the NFL, right? oh,

1:58:36 that have just like fucking brutally strong hands Fuck off. And he would wear like a shirt that was he was so sick he was so He was an interesting guy to work out with and train with because he was really well-read, really smart guy. He was a pro boxer. We showed them on the podcast before. Why aren't you padding the elbows? In Taekwondo, we used to wear shin pads.

2:00:45 kick with the shin so the worry was and it happened all the time that you would kick someone I was a kid. I was so drained. I was so drained. and I called him up fucking screaming, I'm going to fuck everybody up. I did it in a terrible way. But then I went up to 154 and that's when I, I was way better at 154 than I ever was I mean dude like like like stuff to me like that fucking leg injury was just horrible

2:03:12 oh, I don't know why it's nauseating. Here's another crazy statistic. Tim Sylvia's arm, who is bone. Where you hear the bone crack like Minotaur He got him in an R-bar, and you see his forearm snap. Frank trapped him. Watch this, though. Ow! One more time. And look at his arm This is like A pioneer you know, I think Frank was the champ He fought, who's the only guy besides Deontay Wilder to ever knock it down, Tyson Fury.

2:06:18 fighting a legitimate boxing match with them and they said this one's gonna be a This is gonna this isn't gonna this gonna burn. It's not gonna burn out. I don't know these people it's like Q-tips. Right. It's the best. Did you watch that? Yeah, dude. I don't know what else to be Chinese. A conglomeration. They should dress like volleyball players.

2:08:55 By far. Yeah. makes like a quarter quarter million i mean i would say i would say i think it's in the neighborhood of that yeah i mean who like well candace parker who is uh went to my well went Have you ever met the best bowler? One of Ari Shaffir's buddies, Tommy, was a professional bowler. He's a world-class bowler. Golf, you make millions of dollars.

2:10:20 Professional pool. But there's like two or three of him in the world. I guess it'd be his first ever PGA tournament. He's driving like a 140,000 Vianza. He just qualified for this weekend's tournament. I guess it would be his first ever PGA tournament. He's got a $6.9 million purse. 100, depending on each 50 Gs, maybe? I mean, up to the top? The 50s only made money

2:12:01 to go from, this is It's so fucking hard to do that week after week, It's just, They're all so good. and I played at this golf course with Pat Perez, and I'm not, just like anything that you experience, Yeah. He's like, he's being a smartass. and then just be like i'm gonna hit it from 18. And then take him to 18 feet and hit it in their fucking face.

2:14:27 What a name. and all the way back. Oh, my. You're fucked? in, look how loose his hand is. This is when he's older, too. This is... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would tell you about him. I think it was in 93. And they brought over pool tables and set up pool tables. And they taught these people how to gamble. crazy technique. And then they came over to America and started gambling. And the first guy

2:18:03 up what year was that 94 it's idea that was 94 when he came overales, that's right. Cesar Morales. So he came over, what year was that? No, he was over here in the 80s. That's what I that's what I know it's all about right pool is all about gambling beloved pool player of all time in the world and widely recognized as the greatest. You can still be a pro.

2:19:28 like i remember when people thought ufc was a fucking joke but they weren't listening to the a problem with at the pool hall to play pool anymore Right? Pool halls too, but they have to be able to watch it in a way that, Everybody wanted to be like Tom Cruise. believe how good you are. That was a thing. Not Color of Money. No shit? Walter Tevis, yeah. That's a great fucking show. Was that a book shows ever. Great fucking show. Same guy wrote that. No shit?

2:21:51 Hustler's a book. Yeah. isn't that right, You should get an Ohio tattoo A lot of pool out there. But pool, d Where we come from, Midwest to this day. One of the most legendary pool halls of all time. where I wanted to go was Hard Times. There's gambling. Sometimes there was gambling. I mean, was there money being thrown around there? There's money. There's gambling.

2:23:39 I'd put down my 10 grand. And this is, look at that, voted best billiard room in America. Yeah. Great place. No, no. The all-Filipino guys, they would come to Bellflower, and everybody would know they were there, I would sit in there I win one and then lose my second match. Like you were talking about golf. You're like, huh? and it's like how much time are you willing to dedicate to this one thing,

2:26:39 phrase went viral because he he he like he hits the strike to win and he's like, who the fuck do you think you are? I am! Yes, god damn it. That is why I did it. Who do you think you are? Do it one more time. I'm going to tell you something, man. I understand, but look at that guy with his arms up in the air. Fuck yes. This is my ginger. only a couple times a year. Oh, okay.

2:28:30 and hit the other way to kick off the wall you know when the pins hit against behind So it has to have considerable force. Even still, when you hit it off the wall at the right angle, the flap, it has to spin off the exact way for it to hit the other pin. Especially at an elite level? When they hit it, you almost know it's happening. Yeah. What do you think that's from?

2:30:54 The accuracy. I can do that. I can put it in the I have a new bow that my friend John Dudley made. It's the most meathead. It's not, though. It's very complicated, right? That is so nuts. what It's almost like he wanted to see what he's the master at uh all that stuff he's a master at he understands the mechanics of archery better yards. Does he hand make the

2:34:08 And the blades on the arrow. I don't respect them anymore. I like them. Like if we went out there and you shot me oh yeah line up with like Well, you can just stab them in the head. I think I like the sword. You know David Lee Roth did that? Oh yeah, for zombie swords. These dead people. It's from the 1500s. It is quite light. I'll cut the They're really hard why because there's just so really heavy right like when you put a arrow

2:37:20 But crossbows do look tight as fuck. Yeah. Nunchucks and zombies. Right. Yeah, before it gets crazy. watching it like you start worrying about people not the zombies right they're not worried about and it's like, what the fuck am I watching? first episode of enter the walking dead or whatever the la version is it was uh what's it called I'm like, I get it.

2:39:46 years ago seven seasons and a movie Modern Family Dude, it's so good. actually the only thing I would say long lasting comparable 13 years I don't know Sonny? But, I mean, like, Charlie Day is an outright star too so it's like Canadians? This is like right before it happened. You know, and like all those movies I love, Oh, it's fucking hilarious. I actually was born, unfortunately, with two left feet.

2:42:48 many fucking awards is that so they ended that too yeah yeah well but but but like so good on a good I like you she's trying to bang me and I said no way no way lady I've just liked you She's iconic as fuck. Beethoven, fuck. Beetlejuice. She does that, yeah. Yeah. We should shout it out and let everybody know because I think it's almost sold out. She is in that, by the way.

2:44:42 Another show is beginning to- But we will be back to that point. And Brea's, Different tiers. Yeah, they're all open now. It's not a city ordinance or a state ordinance. They're open. and they're both. Joe Biden put up an Instagram post that was like, if you're fully vaxxed, you don't have to wear a mask outside anymore. who's a doctor, who's an orthopedic

2:47:24 He has a photo of Joe Biden's tweet saying that if you are vaccinated, you can go outside with no mask. By the way, if I see you in your car alone wearing a mask, you deserve to die. said this before people sometimes do this thing to me i've gotten this like a fuck you because i'm not wearing a mask yeah i'm running outside my neighborhood i mean Young kids were fucking.

2:49:02 I'm saying people that are single were still hooking up. How did you get it, Jamie, if you weren't out fucking? Trying to feed their families. Speaking of which, I'm not going to let that go that he got you the Tesla and you lied to me earlier in the show. I said, we got the Monalex. Don't do that in front of Joe, Jamie. please what if Tom Segura how much time

2:50:27 I love Tom. Horse is like, people could beat you in horse that you're better than, it's just you could beat Santino in horse? Just for free? Against T-Jazz. of people, dunks on them. Because some fucking, some little skinny, tiny white dude comes in and shits on everybody. It's funny to watch people think he's not good and watch him school them. Well, the professor,

2:52:17 They made shoes and shorts and clothes. And it was like the Carlin Shows up with a backpack on. So they know who he is. Right. Made him fall. on YouTube. like, oh, I'll play into that. That's what White Men Can't and have them be old men. You want to see these old dudes with bad hips What is a quince? Huge. Joe, don't fucking gaslight me. Did she know a guy who knows how to drive a car? How did she learn how to be a woman who likes boxing don't fucking gaslight me

2:55:18 why can't she be the president of boxing You're like, oh, God. I get what I deserve. were talking about all this recent controversy I'm like I get it I would do There's a little bit of that, but there's also an issue in the art form itself, because And these things that they take out, that's what's fascinating to me as an observer, not I say on this is really well thought out or constructed, unless it

2:57:37 How about that? It's like when you see it written down, you're like, oh, he said this. Like if someone says to me, well, that doesn't make sense because of X, I'll go, oh, okay. It might be mine in the sense that I adopted it and expressed it, Off the cuff. And if they really know that you actually do just have a fucking voice. There's like a thing to that where like you can't necessarily recreate it.

2:59:11 You can't talk shit. Right. It's pretty nuts, right? guys are gonna start faking orgasms we're faking it on you girls we're faking it how would we do Yeah, we don't fucking know. Right. Some eagle. about earlier rolling the headless is that what it is? tell me I'm wrong rolling the head the Thompson Gunner, right? Rolling the Headless Thompson Gunner.

3:01:37 I'm not going to remember unless I see the track list. So, you know, I just want to play a couple. There was something by the way, Like the name of the album is almost like this is my goodbye. Excitable boy. he talks to Album he's done developing as a man Yeah, this is great, dude. I tried, and then my wife and I made it through like five minutes apiece.

3:03:49 My mom would catch me eating food watching Carson. That's all. But when it's physical and you can feel that people are watching it like he feels live, the guests know they're live with an audience. yeah so when you see him driving those cars and talking about the amount of cylinders you should go, because it's bonkers. Well, text like their old, you know, Nova

3:06:28 working on this? people that are into that thing would appreciate. And I'm like, I can't, dude. But he'll talk to me about hand rebuilding cars. MGs are such cool old school cars. It's this old MG. Here, you could buy it for this amount of money or you could buy it for half that price you drive, I have to come We have to fucking make sure this thing doesn't fall apart when you hit the highway.

3:08:50 I met that guy way back in the day CJ's great. Yeah, he's a car freak along. These Uber kids today, they don't give a fuck It's sad. It's the only, fuck, It's great. She just fucking wrapped around started punching him in the fucking head. Yeah, because people get in these cars blacked out Get the fuck out of here. I'm on amphetamines, and they're keeping the alcohol from hitting.

3:11:00 But it is sad that it is, I think, well, you know, my old man worked for Turtle for turtle wax for years and people don't wash their cars anymore. Nobody washes a car I love it. You're so funny, Tommy. So mean, Joe. Barely hanging on. Don't wash it. all fucking bondoed up and primer everywhere. I had a bunch of them. Yeah. And I was like, why do you like this?

3:12:53 The Mercedes tag is what's up with it. I kind of like it a lot better than some of the BMWs now. Look how beautiful that is. Fuck, 48. Really? Hey, it says G80. 300 horses, 300 horses, not bad. That's terrible. Yeah, not bad, not bad. Makes me sad. For one. Look how sick that back end looks. 300 horses. Yeah, I know. Look, dude, I have a 2005 M3. Yuck.

3:14:46 Give me some images of it. Yeah, it's super popular there. It does way better there. You guys shit the bed. No, they did not yet, because the body hasn't changed. Let me see the M5. They might Oh, God. What's the M5 look like? They didn't fuck that up, though, right? No, they did not yet because the body hasn't changed. Don't fuck it up, BMW. Absolutely birdiful.

3:15:56 Yeah, they better not fuck those grills up. Yeah, the 996. They went from the best looking car ever, the 993, to the 996. Such a sick car. Come on, please, man. I don't care that I sunburn easily. BMW. Give me an M8. Yeah. I'm in Dallas this weekend at Addison Improv. Do you want to come? What day is that? You're trying to push me out of your city?

3:18:05 Jamie. But on October 10th, Houston, Look I'm a little scared but February 2022 But Chicago supports it's own first of all It's a for me, so I'm trying. They were like, we think you can do it. And I'm like, it's so many seats, man. The United Center. We're doing this, huh? Traffic jam we were in and then Ian goes he goes they're here for you motherfucker, and I look out the window

3:19:59 It's like you enter into a different dimension where it makes sense that you could be on stage in an arena just talking shit like you would in the OR on a Tuesday night. I'm anti-ed up. Come out and see me. Buy me that car.