Joe Rogan Experience #1650 — Russell Peters Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. Better now that you're here. I was very happy. I didn't know that detail. So I took your advice and I started my podcast. I don't know. I really don't. Like, where do you have your studio? Yeah. I took a page out of your book. Like, you need an angle. Like, Ari has a theme for most of his podcasts. And I'm like, you know, which is good.

3:26 Where you don't do your act, you just tell a story. I know. I can't even remember why he stopped doing the show now. And then they replaced him with somebody else. I love him to death. There's a lot of great comics that are wild. business you know and sometimes they think it's a good idea and you want to call them up you know It's just too much of a minefield, you know? Oh, yeah peril yeah and that's the thing i'm always careful about what i'm posting like i have you know i have this

6:13 Dude, I watched Step Brothers the other day. We have not. offended when you watch stepbrothers does that offend you you got offended by stepbrothers you've non-acceptable now So problematic. Bro, he hits so hard. Yeah, because they used to say he just walked right in, I think if you could find that. Yeah. Second round. Everything is and so in that fight with billy

10:23 this is the thing they're working on they just A couple times, yeah. Yeah. Your father's accent's amazing. and my brother was a bigger guy. That's the thing about Canadians. cheers for the drink but cheers hey. Cheers, mate. Because it's like, are you really going to fucking cheer? the shit out of me. You better not surf. Listen, you're a part of the culture now. You gotta

13:10 even John Jack, a jujitsu thing saying respect respect i don't i don't know how to use it so i don't bother with it and i'll use But you know what they're saying? Because Henzo's got like the perfect Portuguese Brazilian accent. My dear Uncle Rollins, me there. He sounds like he's just talking shit to you, doesn't he? a couple of times. Half's a dangerous man. Oh, man. Half shows me dirty moves. He's a mean dude.

16:45 Do you have like a personal trainer or anything like that? Yeah. Every day? Not every day. I can't blame anybody but myself, so I'll take all accountability on this. It was dark. I don't know. You're always lucky. I love to hear that. Yeah, it's a good thing. I finally, you know, I would say. Yeah? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. I love to hear that.

18:39 everything across the board, even business people. Well, I mean, out of nowhere, all of a sudden you don't make any money. But it would have been nice if you had that podcast already going, right? Early. And? And I don't know. I don't know whether or not it's legit. Wasn't Michael Jackson doing So there's Michael Jackson. Google the term telomeres because I don't want to fuck it up.

21:30 Yeah, but I wanted to know the definition. repetitive sequences of non-coding Google telomeres No, no, but I'm going to get one. That's the one I'm talking about. He uses... Oh yeah, Although the only person who goes in mine, He's a wacky cat. somewhere around then, 2002, 2003, I got one in my house. And then, um, I got, uh, I had a friend because you're going to have less problems.

25:07 and the float lab ones are just they're incredible there's how long do you sit see I'm afraid my phone's gonna overheat or whatever you don't use don't use your phone So if I try to call people, they're like, to me read this fucking book it It's called A Land So Strange. raving about it, and boy was he right. It's amazing. fucking miles in rafts and then they got attacked multiple times by indians when they would get to

28:57 people, or rather hundreds of millions of years that life has been here on Earth, and I mean, you look at 100 years ago and it's so different. And they need like peace you can't be like what would be the tech people of the time I mean, People are trying to make things so safe. Being intolerant. they they think they're doing the right thing they think they're doing the right thing they really do

31:58 And he sees me, and he goes, hey, you're that guy. you he knows so much of your materials And then we'll go from there. People are enjoying this. time russell but it's also a weird time for them. That's what the problem is. There needs to be more conversations happening. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, it's weird, too, to me that the Trump administration during the time that Trump was president really showed some hypocritical thinking by a lot of people.

35:04 Yeah. I didn't believe that doctor either, though. he's perfectly healthy compared to what like if he's going to be in the olympics like what are they would be a much more broken down version of themselves. It's just an impossible job. Decades. His little telomere hands. The thing is, Trump seemed to handle it, ironically, better than anybody that's ever done it.

37:20 of things i know you're not and i just sit there and i giggle my favorite is he's a racist i'm like of all time being a racist is literally the dumbest thing it's see racism is the one that in one race came out of one place. Here, I'm sending this to you right now, Jamie. Everyone is African. because our ancestors developed in different climates well one of the the

39:48 we moved to a shitty climate to soak up swarthy But if you're dealing with people that were in North America like pre-Ice Age and during the Ice Age, they came down the Bering Strait, they think. That's a real weird one. but a large percentage of Native American civilization came out of Asia. With the black looking people. And they're still very primitive.

42:06 uncontacted tribes I have a whole bit Well, for fuck's sakes? He visited a couple other places, and they think that people like that that visited, I mean, that is a rough way to go. They're trying to wipe them out so they can get those trees. do the do you know that here's what's crazy do you know a lot of the amazon rainforest which is But there's some insanely prolific tree that they tree that they were harvesting and planting in these areas,

45:21 Supposedly pristine, untouched Amazon rainforest living as natural elements in the If you look closer, you see the deep impressions that humans have made on the world's largest tropical rainforest. and had a greater impact on the largest and most biodiverse tropical rainforest in the world than previously thought. and the ice cream bean tree. That was five times the amount researchers expected if the chances were the only

48:19 and then these species took over The LIDAR can see through? dude and these others that came from Europe It's just being around them. And so these, looking for these places, like quickly by the jungle. they would bring disease, Oh, yeah, man. people trying to live man that's the thing right they were just trying to get by like the way it would be written,

52:16 is called there's a very specific it's a specific kind of language it's almost like they were it communicates right if it communicates really well like right now like if someone sends you not the best way of communicating they're not the best but you know it's helpful yeah but one day he was like, hey, good luck on, I think you're very silverbackish.

54:37 Me and your security guys were talking and we're like, you know, we all said, we were talking about before you got here, we're like, you know, we all think we know something. Yeah, he's coming on soon. Does he? Yeah, I'm excited to talk to him. He's a great guy. That sounds like something he would they uh i don't know if it's real because you never know what the is real on the internet

56:36 They grow really quickly. Like there's some mushrooms, like if you see a morel, morels on the ground. They're a fungus, and they grow quickly, And then you eat them, and they're really delicious. soak them. And you know, a lot of dirt gets off too. So you strain it and rinse them off and I'll I don't know. And then I woke up, and he goes, how was it?

59:38 Oh, so like you're tired, if you're worn out. like really sick, where they probably When they dehydrate their entire body, that's insane. Like they're too tough for their own good. have like it's uh like a burp almost it's a bad burp but you know your eyes are gonna water because when it's going to affect me, if I eat too much, eating and I was like, I feel fine.

1:01:57 Yeah, but I don't think Khabib is going to fight again, He's still got a lot of time left. There's a difference. he's always doing jujitsu and kickboxing. you talk about power like how people just have power he's just got power like he's got crazy preposterous one punch power and you I mean, he's got to grow into that size as opposed to try and put it on.

1:04:02 We DM each other and just put a sweet guy. You watch his kickboxing highlight reel. That was in, I think it was in Glory. Alex won a decision the first time, and he KO'd him the second time. You know what I mean? Yeah, he stopped him in the first round. You know what I mean? match i mean at least he's taking it against the guy in the boxing world who's not very well

1:06:56 Yeah. He talks about that, too. He's so dominant. Wow. He beat up Jr.'s dad. I do not think that Hector Camacho beat Julio Cesar Chavez. Yeah. He fought Hector Camacho. would beat Julio Cesar Chavez. I believe that. Yeah, well, for sure he did in the Chavez one. I'm like, hey, I remember you. And it'd be like I remember Greg Haugen. greg haugen yeah oh he was uh i want to say he was from massachusetts or new hampshire or some shit

1:10:33 No shit. Because Haugen had decided, he had played the bad guy, right? Julio Cesar Chavez in the day was so slick. I mean, everything about him was so accurate he knew exactly where you were gonna be Julio Cesar Chavez in the day was so Well, Frankie Randall was the guy that really ended Chavez's reign, right? And he had that knight. He beat him twice.

1:12:46 He was on his way to 100-0. Oh, man. That's what it was, yeah. Was that a draw? If it was a draw, how the fuck did they not fight again? That's not a draw. I think one... Oh, I see. Okay. everybody gets weird, right? He's always talking about... Lennox is a great commentator. I've been hanging out with him a lot And he said he can't train somebody who doesn't.

1:16:02 Yeah. I mean, it's really just a matter of your personality. disheartened and angry and because he got he got fucked over early in his career too To go see the Leonard Hagler fight. strip joint and he paid whatever the cover charge i think it was 10 bucks and i had never seen naked women in my like in real life right and i just remember sitting in fuck's my coach he left because they didn't have a fight so he went to another place and he wasn't

1:18:33 No, I jogged home. I was happy. You could have been anywhere. And I was about to go on stage. And not just that division. It's been a year, though, definitely since he fought last. So I was like, hmm, piss test, please. Oh, okay. Yeah, I thought he won the first fight. these guys like Kamaru Usman, like Can canelo alvarez like these guys who are just

1:21:39 And I was like, fuck, I don't want to be on this side. Holy shit, is it funny. We spitball and say the most obscene things, it in character um jim norton no no no no he does chipperson? No, he was an SNL member at one point, too. I feel bad. guy jeff richards oh no i haven't done it no yeah he just yeah when when i did it he did it as a that guy he's one of the funniest

1:24:19 even talked to his wife about it she was like why why do you keep doing the show it makes you that looked like i'm kind of vaguely remembering this yeah i remember uh buddies yeah wow okay Richard Cronin was it an ABC sitcom boy we put this clip up on the uh instagram i saw the kindness conspiracy that's really how he is man is like activism, you know, like calling people out

1:26:46 Ooh, look what you said. are actually enhancing and even reinforcing this kind of behavior. People aren't necessarily It's so much about appearance as opposed to the substance behind it. This whole chicken nugget generation that's coming up right now. But it's also, coincidentally, at the same time, this is the best time ever for long-form intelligent conversations.

1:28:49 some pretty badass podcasts people are trying they're talking about things and this is the in terms of the choices he makes and the most he's the most one of the most thoughtful also one of the most clever yes in terms of like the choices he makes and the way he like like doing the thing that he did for netflix and taking the time during the pandemic to innovate and yep i'm a big fan of the way he moves

1:30:10 automatic coming at you yeah well you know the every generation needs someone who's out there no no no you listen you weren't a bully okay you had me in a move on the way to a move uh-huh you with him he's in my guard oh no my ego went, I'm going to fucking go for it. Yeah. Yeah, I literally, I i hurt my own to this day it still hurts yeah yeah i i literally i

1:32:37 you want to grab below the ankle you want yes yes guess guess who figured that out yeah you want to You have to grab your foot and make a transition. Yeah, he'll do it. Yeah, when I met Eddie, he was all gi. It was like a metal head. they're like, I'm just happy when people come to go, him and I and I were together and I go we are not the same person why the fuck

1:34:32 He's fucking funny. to do open mic nights somewhere around then did he move Everybody came out. Mm-hmm. Well, when it eventually does open, I would love to play it. There's a lot of shit. though yeah there's hunting and then there's like air quotes hunting where it's like you're in a Right. tricking them it's not fair what is fair you have a gun it's it all gets weird

1:37:16 It details the Native Americans and their persistent hunting. They were at the verge of starving to death multiple times, See, that's one of the things. and then they started taking their rifles and melting them down Yes. Yeah, and now they're telling a story that's like way deeper and way crazier. like what it was like to go from nothing where Chicago is to Chicago.

1:39:47 Remember at the end? Yeah. Everything ends up being purple. Have you ever seen this? to them. From 1901. It's 20 old school technique. From 1901. Oh, they're fighting, dude. You're on Twitter too long. Was this recently? No. Yeah. Would you? Right, right. getting your getting your mental right getting your mental right that's a whole month at least

1:43:12 It's good stuff. Cheers. Well, maybe they don't have a fight set for him. He's fighting Logan. I know, but isn't it funny that he's like 50 pounds lighter? Let's call it what it is. And both my kids are half Honduran, before he steps it up. Teofimo's the truth for sure. So he was a Mayweather guy? and fixes his mistakes as well. Without having those two triple G fights,

1:46:32 It's so hard to just step in. Yep. He set you up from the first round. just fell apart after Andre Ward. Well, they offered it to him after the Kovalev fight. retires undefeated, There's the talk of Lennox fighting Mike. We talked about it. Oh, yeah. He's always. Black don't crack. Black don't crack. And backgammon. For anything, he does. Jujitsu is a fucking incredible game.

1:50:26 on yeah some people love to fucking if they know who you are they love to attack yeah but you got How much no-gi do you do? I don't want to wear the fucking gi. Oh, yeah. He's doing the mass and COVID. No, she works for free. Since day one. Yeah. I know a lot of people that had real mental health problems because they didn't do shit this year. We think too much.

1:53:29 I think it's fucking hard for people I was like, you know what? And I didn't realize the, you know, I didn't know it was going to benefit me in the long run. You know, the whole reason why they have that dark pigment is the body is protected from the sun, the sun's rays. Did you see the post fight with Boo Boo Andrade calling him out? You fought nobody. Get out. Yeah, who the fuck have you fought? He's like, who have I fought? You fought nobody.

1:54:58 It's all about. I mean, he's the top of the food chain. I'd like to see that. But I mean like you know he's not good on it. Not a walking weight and not a fight weight look at this one he's not in my shape shut your hole you're dirty stinking hole look at that come offer him a lot of money to do something. to not go straight into Canelo Alvarez? Yeah.

1:57:35 This is what I've gotten from Shannon Briggs' Instagram because he's talking shit about James Toney virtually every day. Have you been on the road at all? But since January, I've been going pretty good. But here's the thing, it's not affecting people. The problem is we've taken accountability away from everybody I've heard that on a, on some flights I've heard, um, if you're eating, uh, lower your

1:59:32 Is that true? and then you're like, oh, the flight. I went in the bathroom. That know where you caught it from? Because you don't feel sick for a couple days, and then you're like, oh, the flight. Amazing. a decade And you're seeing it. Yeah. They have Vulcan Gas Company. Yeah, I got a name. You know, you've worked in the clubs for so long, so you know what's wrong with them and what not to do.

2:02:23 goal is not to make any money. My goal is just to not lose any money. That's my goal. That's a good goal. I really do. Yeah. I mean I go back home. I God, like, what is it like to be a 53-year-old just broken? You got to get out there. It's one of the best things about new material is that it's fresh to you. a job. This is how I'm still know I'm going to make money. There's guys growing up that are still doing the same act, look at it as a job. This is how I'm still going to make money.

2:05:03 I'm like, I'm driving fucking Uber. Well, you know... You ever seen those? It's a type of wild chicken. That's the thing. Which ones? That's a rough way to go, man. By eating them, hyenas gathered nine Neanderthal skeletons in one cave. Terranian Sea. Oh, wow. What? Hyenas are like the diesel coyotes. Wow. That's rough. Imagine that's the shit you hear when you have a broken ankle.

2:09:13 Like vultures. You ever seen that? So they would take these people's bodies That's not the way I want to go. We fucking embalm them with this disgusting, toxic shit. Do they have any actual photographs? That's what's going on. real though. The original Faces of Death Some of it I think to another bumper for some reason. Hollywood's doing it Hollywood's doing it

2:12:19 why would they do that Then we're numb to it already. Ludacris hosted it. Like, to do Fear Factor correctly, you got to, the reality is, like, the last season, That one was risky. Not writers? Oh, they're nutty. we don't know. one of the things i like to watch when i work out which one one number one's the good one the Maybe you're just really tired.

2:14:38 Three didn't have doing some stunt work and he suffered a really bad head injury. Oh, I think I heard the story. That was horrific. How the fuck did that happen? where you're allowed to shoot somebody in movies with blanks. set and he had a blank gun and he thought it'd be fun to take the gun and It was like, it fucking hit hard. Put the car seat in backwards.

2:17:24 No seatbelt era. Drum breaks. Oh allowed to. Yeah. I mean, you know, we grew up in the- No seatbelt era. No seatbelt era. I'm going to lay down in the back back. It was no rules No, you would sit on your mom's lap and she would hold you. that's right and then there was the immigrant scar too that's how people knew they were immigrant on one of my flights recently about the uh thelusion Act. Have you seen that documentary? What's that?

2:19:39 What? They're some of the bleakest photos. It's a horrific story. You're not getting out of that. You know what's crazy? that were getting into Harvard talking to me about it. Of, um. So here it is. Yeah, America's Court rules Harvard doesn't discriminate against Asian American applicants. Okay, so this is Students for Fair Admissions, an advocacy So what is the argument, though?

2:23:39 saying its policies violate the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Right. It cancels everything out. andrew yang uh they believed pretty strongly that that's what harvard was doing i mean you know The low percentage of Asians admitted to Harvard, What the fuck? group on other admissions measures like test scores, grades, Like, that's a negative personality.

2:27:38 Wow. Because remember what we were talking about earlier about being woke, right? look at you and say oh he's racist yes and what he's doing is racist comedy right and this is especially when comics get together about everything. people aren't paying attention because a lot of people don't want to listen. They don't have the time. So if Right. You are behaving like a human being that you are.

2:30:45 Is this okay? And sometimes it makes people say completely irrational things. Say the most positive thing and you get attacked. this has completely nothing to do with anything, Or mushrooms can do the same thing. the beginning while they're while the while the trip's setting in right and then you get to your Cuz I said it. I've said it too much. You've said it a lot. You've got me involved in that world now.

2:33:35 We're the truffle company. They've QAnon everything. You got to get the whole FDA involved everything is this this is the biggest I think microdosing is the way for a lot of folks. funded and have gone through and they they hold real promise and so i i will hope that eventually we come to our our senses and we recognize that there's a lot of things out there that can help

2:36:21 And that is the same thing with alcohol. Man, it's genes. I do Sober October every year. Is it five months away? or you'll work out every day or something like that. Well, once he broke his arm and his fucking blue. I'm supposed to do his podcast soon. I don't know. They have a studio out here now, son. Oh, wow. He sent me a text message today. I'm supposed to do his podcast soon.

2:37:54 You know, for me, I got bigger problems. You're not wrong, Joe. What's that short story? Thank you. What else are you going to sell? Guns? You got alcohol, tobacco, and businessman now. I gotta do stuff, dude. You're selling mushrooms. I'm selling mushrooms. What else are you gonna sell? Guns? in my hands. Yeah, I know what you're saying. in those places sometimes like i'm and in those moments i go i'm so fucking glad i don't have a

2:40:12 And I just didn't know that people could be that nice all the time. That's what happened to me last year. kid but then I didn't take it what's the worst shit that happened you just a lot harbor that to make me this bitter an entire bunch of people And I'm talking from like four years old. I'm trying to figure out, I'm trying to tie us all together as opposed to set by, you

2:43:05 I really do. We really do, and it can be done. that's a sad, sad person. and now they're learning about something, but it's the wrong thing. Christian Piccolini is, no, he's a guy who was, uh, he was in like a white power group and then He's a gentleman that was on my podcast. like what the fuck are you talking about and he became this guy's friend huh and uh just said hey

2:46:03 You can't pretend he's not smart, smart right so like for a lot of these guys they're like shit you know like when Wrong and strong. It's not a realistic look at life. Progress comes in hills and valleys. Is China controlling China? That's 300 million, isn't it? India has 1.3. Yeah. I figured it was around 300 and something. What do we have? Jesus Christ.

2:49:33 That's pretty crazy. British? How many people were in England? And how many of them are non, you know. Make dope phones, Only 51 million people. what they said because it's only like one code you have to figure out right and then the androids store i guess or i don't maybe you had to get it from a third party but the app would update your It's like the old school.

2:52:17 It's dope because there's no line. Really? If you don't want that green bubble, you have to go through Apple. It's annoying. You got to go, do you have WhatsApp? And you can't airdrop. And for me, as a guy who always takes notes on his phone, that's big. They got us locked in, though. I didn't miss the old part. because of that trial they're involved with, I think.

2:55:05 Fortnite trial if you have Fortnite on your phone So here it is. Google, Apple, Google, whatever that malware is, I can't see it. Go to the first one. March 20th. Reportedly, Apple kept this malware attack a secret and didn't share the impact's full Really? That sounds way worse than it would take pictures of her so you would know what the girl looked like.

2:58:27 you know, Yeah. If you're going to get someone's photograph, Like kids today Why not? Huh. true you know your likes that are strictly for that Yeah. I don't know where we're at with it. I don't know if it's locked down yet. Don't say it. But it started off as a joke, and then he was like, it's a really good idea. Choke.com. Yeah, Not dated, I know you're happy right now, but what if you weren't?

3:01:41 You know, then she's equally as dangerous as you are. you up? That would be annoying. physically stronger do you think you could date a power lifter That's what you got. Oh, really? At the end of the day they're just women they just I would imagine like that's kind of, like what, yeah, And I'm like, hey, stop that shit. You ever see that guy, Alexi Olenek, who lets

3:04:25 From the bottom. So what happens is he's making it like he's got Wow. What happened? but to do it like this is crazy. Is it a Sambo move that he's doing? Well, Ezekiel's just a standard submission move, I wanted you to do that. Yeah, and he gets it in front of his face. Oh, yeah. He's like, oh, you fucked up, son. He tucks it under. I wanted you to do that.

3:06:19 Have you ever tried grappling with gloves on? He allows you to mount. But only Nick has that crazy grappler strength. Yeah, he's a beast. He's probably not going to get a title shot. This weekend I'll be there. Makes me feel like a fat fuck. Let's take a look at the fight card there. And Oliveira versus Chandler. I'm a little upset at Michael Chandler's six-pack. Makes me feel like a fat fuck.

3:08:17 Shane Burgos versus Edson Barbosa. Botorin. Lando Venata, is her sister. He's the one that got kicked out of the UFC? Dana never tried to recruit him. I like one a lot. and now they're going to do grappling. John Donaher comes from Henzo, Gordon's way bigger. Yep. Who trains every day. They had to figure out what to do. Yep. That'd be good. No. We should get you out of here so you can catch your flight.

3:12:16 I am, actually. Ooh. You've been engaged to, you're wearing this. think this one's going to work out. Everything's good. I love you. Culturally Cancelled. That's what I called it okay it's on uh iheart radio okay and um youtube as the first one i did wow in your house wow remember those days yeah right you hear my kids screaming Yes. I haven't seen that guy in forever.

3:14:56 Is that why? Yeah, we called it the Feel Good episode. Bring it home. Goodbye. you thanks Joe great to see you my friend always you too Jamie good to see you