Joe Rogan Experience #1651 — Joe List Transcript

Transcript

0:00 the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day Heroin would be good, yeah. I'm still doing heroin. No, you're not. It's kind of overrun with street folk, homeless people. people from walking around right so that there's always going to be an issue. And like one of the clubs downtown is Vulcan Gas Company. The shelter's on 7th?

2:38 But so I'm already, so I'm already like in my head. started to get closer and i saw these two guys walking towards me and they seemed like you know they were walking up the sidewalk so i just was moving so i didn't have like a and a moment where That doesn't seem great. I'm going up dark street sidewalk. And I kind of did like a, I don't want anything to do with you guys.

5:32 kind of walked around and then swallowed all pride and just went full full run that's a good Or what are you going to do, fight? the idea is to use whatever skills to get out of harm's way. Yeah. i'm good with walking but it was scary but i felt good because i'll come get you tonight i'll pick Did you know there's a new video of a lady cop all fucked up, but it's crazy. She's got her hair

8:35 you know you're getting choked to death well that's what's interesting about jujitsu it's like have the same sort of mentality as someone who's like really in a starcraft or something like that No bullshit. I think he was an improv guy and sketch guy. life you could get there um but it's hard because you know I feel old and well you know you just I'm going to really get into this.

10:50 and stuff and I'll, you know, whatever. Greg Hardy, he's one of the heavyweight contenders in the UFC, started out as an NFL player. But no, it's fine. Oh, anyway. They're not really, I don't think those guys lift weights, right? what for but oh for the Iron Cross, for just doing that. No, I don't. Do you slip right into those? seem that long but that's like you point previous record was 22.9 seconds I guess

14:40 Just hanging from a chin-up bar, because you can always do a couple extra seconds until your hands fail. Right. well, actually, you've got to land on those legs. where they like hold out from here they're like horizontal across like just holding with their too like just their head no arms which is also insane that's not good for you no i don't think

16:43 and then you hear the amazing songs. Well, this is the best one that I've seen. Oh, fun. Like, I go into Starbucks, and I'm like, That's what I think. Chemically castrated him when he was young to preserve his voice. that existed in, I mean, I don't know when it started but there's one it was gave him off to whoever who castrated him So this recording has to,

20:19 When was the recording invented? Or is that a recorder? You never see it when listening to records in Westerns. I'm going to say. Yeah. I mean, it's like 1880s. So that's the guy talking. Alexander Graham Bell's phone maybe oh yeah then the phonograph yeah so mmm Let's listen. Oh, interesting. Because the castrato is a very haunting sound. That's a grown man.

24:19 Why are they reassessing him? because of this there's no way he came on children um i did not say that I don't know that much about Michael Jackson Yes. Enough was enough. All right. I'm just I mean, that's fair. I'll take it. I think it was like... I mean... and your liver's like, Philip Seymour Hoffman. I saw him currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone when you're

28:19 Meeting famous people so awkward. time you saw a good comedy movie and can you make a good comedy movie anymore? Or have they made it so dangerous And then who's the guy from Rushmore? Yeah, that's about the cutoff. Yeah. Super Bad. Yeah, that's holy shit you could never make that movie today that he could get away with in that. ever do today it's i think it's hard to do those like some people just like judd apatow is really good at making those kind of movies or was really good i don't know if he's made one of those kind

31:34 I was crying. But it feels like now people are getting more comedy from podcasts and standup I mean, they weren't even like attempting to do jokes. i've already apologized for those jokes i evolved i grew i'm not the same person anymore and that's But it does feel like right to do self-deprecating humor because as a straight It keeps going. and then that becomes their thing.

34:48 kind of stuff That's insane. in a comedy bubble. stupid like that, like I was a straight white man, I shouldn't be self-deprecating. single fucking thing you say and whether or not you have the right to say it, whether or not you It's fun to stay at the YMCA. I mean, that's a little fucked up that you just said American Indian. And then in Canada, they don't call themselves Indians.

36:52 You could just get a, really, you could get a floodlight. What are they doing with the meat if they could shoot as many moose as they want are they shooting three four or five? And they'll get an assessment of, say, mountain goats. for the First Nation people. The First Nation people are like, we went walleye fishing. When I think you probably have some sort of First Nation ID or something like that, if I had to guess.

39:39 Or in the United States. Federally recognized tribal issued ID card is also a valid form of government issued photo identification in many places. they don't even want to recognize that there is a Canada or a United States. where they had gone up to Canada to try to avoid being, you know, in their lifetime. That's also the origin of the ghost dance.

42:23 No, no, no. horrific stuff man what have you read that i know you're big into this stuff have you read the what's wikipedia the osage murders the birth of the fbi is the third non-fiction book by the american After the Osage were awarded rights and courts to the profits made from oil deposits found the middle man before they can abscond with the oil profits.

45:22 Wow. Bill Hale will be DiCaprio I'm excited about the movie, though. I didn't see The Irishman. Yeah. I don't know, in like the late 70s but there's like a music the best for I think the 80s is like the weirdest, cheesiest. coke yes that's what it feels like I mean but 70s everything got sort of that don't hold up at all won best picture and was like the biggest

49:15 there's not explosion. X-Men nine or whatever. I just took a swing. I want to say The Exorcist was 78. I'm going to say 76 on that one as well. Yeah. I had like neurovirus and I was puking and shitting like crazy in a hotel in And Long Island neuro virus. I was like insane. I mean, I was the sickest I've ever been Very contagious virus that causes vomiting and diarrhea.

51:11 Holy shit I got emotional I went running around the block. All of a sudden I'm running. It turns out it was true. I was so sick. him being like, I can still make it. He just didn't want to not do the show. Well, that's show business. You think like, I have to do this. just stayed home, but he just wasn't totally sure how sick he was. He's here now.

53:53 There's a lot of, like, places you can work here. It's a little better. Stop it. I love it. I had the exact opposite experience last night. got shot possibly yeah i don't beat up it feels like they're a little more aggressive down here And maybe it was fine. and this guy's a fucking hack. Well, I imagine the lady said the weekend when people come back to go to the bars

55:59 that said that there's never been which is a little bit like saying under a million people, you know. Yeah. partly on a misclassification of some COVID transmission that actually took place in to have involved crowded places or close conversation. Yeah, man. This feels a little, uh, it's from yesterday. Oh, all right. Well, now I feel like an asshole.

58:37 specifically as like a white separate estate? I might have made that up. And then the lady just like looked at me real angrily and put her mask on as I was like passing. like, do you really have the time to be reading these fucking articles and try to keep up with what's the latest? You got a good point a fellow comedian, but there's a lighter. Yeah, I got one sorry I

1:00:14 It's a great episode. Thank you. You do, yeah. Fat-headed bald guys. Yeah. No Bobby's the best. He's a great guy. I love Bobby Bobby's a guy We smoke at a cigar place now Bobby's I don't know where you fall. Well, you're a Yeah, if people don't know what I do for a living, and I said I always say I'm visiting sitting on me but he was telling a story where him and his brother golfed and it was just the

1:02:40 You can't even impersonate Regan because he's so funny that it's not worth it. Some people say, I only like guys who swear. Fuck, yeah, coffee. I saw him at the Comedy Connection in Boston audience. Like people were fucking losing and he's like oh okay yeah you if you're young and you're starting out you could see somebody Kevin. Like, everything he did was funny.

1:05:13 I might have been like maybe 20 or something at the time. i mean you guys did a gig in aruba yeah like a week there's a gig down there aruba ray aruba It's one of those things like you don't make ever. You know, late for the show so ray the next time he comes ray loves him he's like he's the best guy and I'm going to move him to the room across the hall.

1:07:43 I'm like a guy that circles the block I get places three hours early like I've been been that relaxed in my life. That's what I'm like. I'm like a guy that circles the block. It was explicitly so I know if I have time to shit. It hits me, like, hard. out of my ass and but i lost a lot of weight and but we're close and i was sending him pictures of shit and his co-worker was looking

1:10:12 from cigars and Chipotle and pizza I was like, you got to switch with me. Yeah, it sounds bad. He's like, he's not like the the fun in his face goes off at? Like 300-ish? what he would do is he would he would sit like this he would kind of like sit where his his ass just washed up on the shore I don't like that. this bloody toilet paper roll out of his asshole.

1:13:33 I've been friends with Ari since he was a doorman. He's so crazy. I try not to talk to him. I mean, I think he might've gone broke eventually, but he kept staying like really cool Airbnbs Yeah. It's funny because he has you know, he does his stuff with his social media trolling and so people have You don't know people We're going to stick with the shit theme.

1:16:28 out of the thing and i'm like shit all right i'm like what about boiling and they're like it doesn't And it was right before we went to bed. And I was like, bodies used to it you know it's like uh i had this guy on the other day his name is michael easter Like there's nothing alive. Even if you're just eating the regular or whatever. So that's gonna help it's a different kind of rule. I mean, it's all theater it's so like it is and we're still doing the mic switch you have

1:19:31 I don't know. And I got vaccinated, and I feel good about it, and I'm done. like like kooky and just a little funny wacky and I took I don't know if I'm healthy or what. mind, like, I've read articles that the vaccines No, you should definitely take vitamins because there have been a lot of what they call breakthrough So their idea is like there's going to be some breakthrough cases depending upon

1:22:14 I got you. I'm like some people, vitamins, they're like that's a waste. Is a great supplement that's real That's good. I was taking some vitamin D for a little bit. It's also a hormone. Don't freak out. What if you have norovirus spraying out from your asshole? smoking right now. They got them like a half hour later. locked in a fucking house and should you have the ability to tell them they can't go anywhere because the idea is like if you really want them to be under 24-hour care and supervision and you

1:25:17 So let's get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I completely agree Maybe. She was nice. What's that? and Keith Robinson, you know Keith right? and I just thought it was so funny because I'm trying to get down there and I'm like fuck table and I was like do you know the code and he gave me the wrong code and I just thought it was so funny because once in Florida and Wanda Sykes

1:27:12 They successfully figured out the door code and had used that experience to decipher How the fuck are they supposed to know that this guy's going to figure out the code by listening? No, it's a new one? my new favorite actress. into these old folks' care facilities and has has them locked and then profits off of them and People are just mad. But I think also, I think a lot of this stuff has always been going on.

1:29:55 things all the time and you can get confused if you read that stuff and think that's most people and then it said like 8,988 tweets. They would write these long-ass fucking things, and then everybody underneath would be complaining and bitching about it. And you could write these long-ass responses to these long- fucking things and then everybody underneath would be complaining and bitching about it and you could write these long ass responses to these long ass things yeah it's not

1:31:32 our immediate group. or whether they were just upset that these people were working again all comes back to movies and scorsese but there's the great scene in casino where he's And some of it's good to make it a safer place and all that shit. I'm like, Jesus, man, that's so bad for your head. I think that's also one of the reasons why people like podcasts so much

1:33:50 Oh, Dan Harris. Sam Harris is like my, I fucking love that guy. But I'm like – so I'll be, I listen to the Waking Up podcast It's just this reductionist perspective. But it's because he's thought it through Like, I think like that guy is like saving lives. I think he is too. I think a lot of people are out And there's this extra agreement, which is be skeptical but verify.

1:36:37 you do, you can't fix the past. You can't. It's nothing you can do. You can't change Yeah, she has you know about yeah you should kind of each other I don't know I think he's just in LA we No. Oh, Mindful Metal Jacket? What does it say on the helmet? Joe List, Mindful Metal Jacket. knows Mark now he's one of those guys that just is funny. He can't not be funny. Dedicated to the craft. He loves it.

1:39:24 But it's also like, that's one of the things that I love about real comedy. Like, guys like him that are so dedicated to it, that are always fun to be around. I'm like, all right, that's a real comic. I think he like grew up in the city. Yeah. They're wild there, man. I remember the first on Rogan. Shit. Yeah. library and the whole thing and i had this thing i'm like if the bomb goes off at jfk i'm gonna

1:41:59 i fucking it's it's mind-blowing to me still have, the only times I feel like drinking I was smoked weed, They didn't have that. uh tylenol and uh acetaminophen is that what it is yeah it's in tylenol it's toxic at high doses and like, Jesus Christ, I wonder how many Tylenols But I read about this lady and I'm like oh no because you know some people they're just like you know

1:44:19 I don't know. should do and he lands it yeah and i'm, that's like the worst thing I've ever experienced. the whatever the fuck, adrenaline, dopamines are running, whatever. There may be some that you can get that are 600 or 800, I think, So she took a lot of fucking time out. Yeah, she might have been drinking too, Well, for him, well, my hands are way smaller

1:46:56 goes look at that look at that look at that fucking beer can in his hand uh that's insanity Yeah, she could fit inside of him. When we had Dallas Diamond Page on the podcast, those old videos cuz it's fun to watch this dollars as a kid yeah and now as an adult I'm going back and watching all those old videos because it's fun to watch this as a kid yeah and now I'm so fascinated with all like the behind the scenes of how it works and

1:49:11 they're throwing each other and slamming each other and they're always in agony and uh when It's crazy. But those guys have insane tolerance for pain, just insane. worked with jake the snake he works with a lot lot of former pro wrestlers and helps them get sober Or WrestlingBotch. That's it, yeah. I don't know which ones are, like, great, but... Oh, he caught him.

1:51:57 it's easier for you to get knocked out afterwards, Here's a good example. Travis is the white guy. Weird. Yeah, weird, right? can't really control that, right? I mean, That's the part of that sport. I was late and the guy just fucking went down. of like, He never stops. And just like with his weird style where his hands are down and he moves around a lot,

1:55:18 Yeah, it's. Yeah, yeah, sorry. like this. And I like instead of this position it might have just crushed my skull like i don't know i don't Right in the chin and my legs just stopped working. This was like, it was like he just hit me perfect and everything stopped. 60 seconds straight. But it's just wild. I can't pull it anymore. Hey, you got to do it like this, kid.

1:58:24 Have you had Bobby on? You should have Bobby on. I would love to Oh, yeah. He's a cigar guy. We smoke a lot. It's fun. Have you had Bobby on? Yeah. Bobby married me. Yeah. and he's working on it, but I think he's actually like a healthy guy. Yeah, I think Bobby had it totally fine, has the antibodies, I fucked up. They don't have to tickle your brain anymore

2:00:08 It was way the fuck up there. now. Yeah, we've been talking. plenty of spots. You love Ari. I love Ari the most. I want the spots. Is that what you want? Yeah. But I do. I get plenty of spots. You love Ari. living in New York City, you know, And we're starting to realize, oh, this is a little silly. myself included, just put stand up for it. Like, that's the real important thing, the independence.

2:02:31 They will fire you. in this that is very important because comics as a whole, they tend to be individualists and they tend to look out for themselves first. And then it became this thing where we realized like, oh, we're actually valuable to each other. And that tribe is a fun tribe if we look out for each other and we have this feeling that we look out for each other.

2:04:32 And especially if the comic's doing better than you. anybody else go for it bust them out yeah you know you're supposed to be making fun of each other but Yeah. Most comics are, in one way or another, insecure. you fucking follow me bitch yeah exactly so we all kind of have that going on which i think is You have to execute, Seinfeld had a great, Seinfeld's so good with the metaphors and analogies and shit.

2:07:55 and i've done it we've all done it like try to make a bit out of something that happened but I just fucking completely whiffed it. Yeah, but don't those bombs are the things that motivate you to get back on the horse and get better. Yeah, it's a hard thing with comedy because you have moments where you're like, like like how about a guy like Stephen Wright where everything is an absurd non sequitur?

2:10:05 Like that kind of stuff. and they said not in a row. Would I be able to move the plane? comedy is who the fuck knows how to do it right that's why imagine teaching a comedy course and and other people a bunch of babies brody stevens and you'd want to talk like him yeah you know it's just this sort of addicting Oh, interesting. And so his crowd was like, you know, he was young at the time too.

2:14:01 but i was there for when dane was was like exploding. It was insanity. Oh, yeah. he would go to the second, I used to do meet and greets after theater shows. like do you get nervous before a show i'm like no i get nervous talking to people after because you're not gonna like under work right yeah no I think so absolutely I'm like So I'll go to a town after he was there and like, do you want to run to the open mic?

2:16:40 And I'm like, no, I exerted all my energy already. and they'll all have their shirts off, And you want to take a nap. Maybe that's part of it. I started, there was an open mic called, this place called Chop's Lounge, which was like a true open mic. was kind of the first club club that became my home venue club yeah yeah and i opened for were at such a high level no they're unbelievable i mean they're still i listened to gav when he

2:19:14 But I was doing a gig at BC High and it was like, I think it was like the sons and fathers and sons thing. And we walked to the other and he's all sweaty and disheveled and he's like these fucking kids are calling me old school i'll People didn't know who Johnny Most was anymore, unfortunately. got to be careful with how many you say you don't want to over he goes you break the meter

2:21:46 And as long as you do it, like Bird does it occasionally, but he sprinkles it in there. Oh, I do too. Um, oh, Kevin Knox. I don't know why I couldn't think of his name. Oh, I say fuck constantly. Well, I do too. Oh, Kevin Knox. guy that just would murder. right like first of all it snows five months out of the fucking year and you gotta snow you gotta

2:23:23 You can't just lay down in the middle of the street. And there's, like, an ethic in the town. They always were hard workers. for him in high school he had a he had a 1967 firebird already like this beautiful car and we What else? Like everybody, nobody was ever like, that guy's really smart. i know are still like my best buddy derrick and my Brian are just like pure fun. I'm like, these guys are funnier than any comics I know.

2:25:52 assistant that's a good gig to do when you're doing stand-up because it's mostly during the day I worked for Bill years after he had the connection, and it was these weird gigs. take a right on that street and get on the highway for six miles. And, you know, I'm kind of dumb. you could print it at home you had your desktop and i had like stacks of papers everywhere with

2:27:48 I mean, you could really kill those shows. He was a maniac. He was a funny dude. Eddie Strange a long, long time ago. He's a New York guy. He's been around. He was Eddie Strange a long, long time ago. And he hired Ross Bennett to come up from New York to headline. Yes, he still did that. He was like, no, no, I came up from New York. fucking destroyed and ross went up and kind of started slow and it was a little weird at first

2:29:53 was going on after Jim Brewer. Maybe somewhere in that range. Every night I did okay until Saturday night. Saturday night late show, Brewer was on fire And he just looks funny. like maybe you should dress nice on stage and I was like yeah just like so I It was an interesting time in my life because I had just moved to New York but life and that like this could happen to anybody this could happen to you it could happen to her

2:33:27 dressed like a douchebag, bombing. And in the 1960s, it is a thing called blockbusting where they would move into these neighborhoods. as they had kind of deteriorated the community and then being with my grandparents after anyone too strong i could do all right but if i went on after anybody strong and then i was We both laughed. Does the staff remember?

2:35:56 I mean, They're like, somebody like hey everybody what's up i'm fucking joe rogan yeah but he's like you gotta bring them numbers and impressions and backflips and like hey this is not a good fit right but when you're Desire for like rapid-fire comedy and the short attention span like they wanted they wanted it fast just never thought to keep writing, which's interesting to me. A lot of older guys just never thought to keep writing,

2:38:45 If you had one or two specials, Well, And his brother wrote about that actually in his book. I mean, right now my act is all dick and shit jokes because a pandemic, it's like, that's Well, it's comedy is here's the, I mean here's a couple of stories of things that happen yeah well it's up with good material yeah well there's also there's also, there's nerves, right?

2:41:12 I mean, we're talking about Scorsese. I think they did. had a joke it was jackson brown he's like i'm gonna play a new song everyone goes boo and he Yeah, well, they can develop music in a vacuum. Where it's like, this is a new joke. But if you do a joke that doesn't work, people are like, amazing about comedy, too. The longer you do it, There's also weird crowds.

2:43:59 I'm like it's almost always the audience because I'm saying the exact fucking shit. I said in the early show never getting the best version what even the best like like Bring the Pain or Prior in Long Beach, 70% of it at the best. Cirque du Soleil or... There's no contagious laughter. You gotta get your ear close. You get the full effect louis did a great thing i'm like i think it was the last episode of the show, the show Louis, where Jim Florentine played the hack feature. Did you ever watch that?

2:47:35 i love great writing but i also love some of the dumbest shit that just happens to be really funny So Tuesdays with Stories And I hate myself That's the way to do it, man. Look at you up there. Sam Morel did his there. Perfect. I appreciate you.