Joe Rogan Experience #1681 — Brian Simpson Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. I'm just living my best life. Those shows at Vulcan are lit. Well, I find it as I'm going around more and more like it was almost Yeah. Oh, okay. Because I started right when they opened. Like, where did it come from? I was like, is everybody treating you well? most of those you know and then i so then i sort of had like a little more leeway than everybody

3:50 you should do fucking comedy. Oh, yeah. Did you practice? But, you know, because you have that thing where you're afraid to go after something like that. Lafroig? It tastes like... It's got that... It's good. Have you tried them all? before there was a country. Really good stuff. That tastes like a tree. Oh, okay. And so it's just to see who's gonna get the fucking,

7:26 I'm trying to remember the place. wings every time I worked there. But I like it. I thought I was watching. Maybe all of them. First of all, I think the Olympics are disgusting because that lady should be getting paid millions of dollars. They're getting zero. And the whole world, right? And they're getting nothing. They're getting zero. they get nothing.

9:48 you know to fucking fix these communities but there's no money in that i don't give a fuck Yeah, because if she doesn't run the relay, America probably doesn't win. Yeah, I saw that last night. For weed. I was reading this and I'm like it's like they Oh yeah. Well, it's a documentary about doping. So along the way, while he's doing this, he's getting all this advice

12:32 it was like this super sophisticated doping strategy. They had the Olympics that developed these jars that you could not open them. Gregory said they juiced up everybody except the figure skaters because apparently female figure skaters, when they juiced them up, And then the Russians got banned from everything? It was a big deal. he made that film, The Dissident,

14:42 Was this what the whole like saudi prince It's just, it's a propaganda vehicle for each individual country. They're just trying to show that their country's number one and they'll do anything to do that. He'd been on the podcast before. It sounds like eventually they're going to have to start letting people dope. Can you? In Operation Odessa, they were trying to sell this dude a submarine,

17:46 And why does it need to be nuclear? Imagine if you're so coked up you say yes. You're going to nuke the DEA and they ask you if you want a nuclear bomb. Right. Imagine if you're so coked up you say yes. Ooh, wow. So the idea was that this nuclear radiation had changed these creatures and turned them into monsters. Yes. where a lot of people die, But the idea behind it, legalizing everything, it's a good idea because there's so much that's already legal.

20:19 Yeah. Which one are you talking about? This country and New Zealand, the only two countries that allow that. It was readily available and you didn't really even need a prescription to get it. The difference between the world where everything's legal and what we have now is just that people get fucked over for bullshit. He was like doing heroin a little bit. He's been on my podcast a couple of times and he was on recently.

22:57 these drugs and because he's a drug researcher it's what he did he's a clinical researcher so Well, at least you'd get real stuff. Like all the ones, Yeah, and you slowly get fucking nuts. There's a lot of people out there that are super paranoid that take Adderall. Well, first of all, I know for a fact, because I have friends that are journalists, that a lot of journalists are doing Adderall.

25:42 they're not fit and then maybe don't have the best discipline in the world. They pop a couple of They don't exercise. They're not fit. different than meth. She's like, what the fuck are you doing? And you can't stop. That's when it not a problem until it's affecting your life negatively. And you can't stop. and they're looking for escapes. or relationship shit

27:52 It's like 90% of his life is misery. I talked about it the other day with Michael Pollan. And so this other guy came along and said, and they barely fucked with the water with the heroin and the cocaine they touched it a little a cage. was a dope thing when they came back. Only 5% kept doing heroin Is it? Like, we don't want to live in a horrible way where we have no love

30:55 I mean, I got somewhere to live and I still get so low sometimes where I be like, I got So for me, being scared to legalize drugs and there's a lot of incentives in being greedy and not a lot of incentives of establishing like you'd have less crime, I don't know about that. We need each other. And even if you make it, you're lonely. Like changing bits and altering bits.

33:48 They're announcing it today. I forgot to check on it, but you, I love watching someone few weeks ago you fucking murdered it was fun it was very exciting yeah it's we all get into it and who could help comedy more than other comedians? You can help. And as long as you don't boost anybody up who sucks, that's a problem. And, you know, I mean, there's different tastes.

36:20 nonsense that's how they think like people were thinking in a way where if someone did really well, somehow or another that was bad for them. You can have your own fans. Mike Clark had a club upstairs for a bit. Turns out, not a good idea block. Stitches. because you had the Laugh Factory, which always and it's good, and if you look at that period Yeah.

39:35 He does the Comedy Connection there. strong but when i left man it was like the guys that were in my era were uh it was i left nick And then when we left, then it was Burr started taking, But most of those guys, like Sweeney and Gavin, they stayed in Boston. fire punch lines like you would you know it wasn't the same. And it was also like seeing other guys like go on to do tv shows and having it not happen to

42:26 they were always favored writing and creativity and new jokes. Salamita who was a Boston comic and he made a documentary about the scene You did not want to follow him, man. It was a great time. It could be a different thing. the end i gotta remind me i have to give her one of mine i want to reward she's got this yeah could we ever achieve No, we can do our best.

44:40 I mean, I get a lot of different kinds of crowds. It really is. because it was like there was no shows for so long, You know, where you're like, oh shit, this feels way better than I remember. and fear you could either get love out of fear or you can get unnecessary animosity and unnecessary arguments and fights out of fear. nightmare it's a nightmare that's terrifying you know and you know they're doing their best and

47:43 weren't we more prepared for this? All the same precautions, the masks, spanish flu on the spanish flu all the same It's not good for you. the temporary nature of this life been like people went through that multiple times in our past with no medicine man you know could There's diseases like that that are real. The ones that kill you quick, those you can contain.

50:49 Right. they locked down the whole plane, until I had Dr. Michael Osterholm on the podcast, I know that. now that they're telling us the truth, about how it spread. of the pandemic? really early on. And they're like, okay, shit, we have to figure out what the fuck this is. You know yeah, I heard the World Health Organization says we gotta stop being worried

54:05 from China. And how does it, when it gets to the government, where's it coming from? Like, people have to realize that the people running the government are not that much different Wasn't there something? The thing about a pandemic is, like these 100-year ones, Can you imagine? I can't imagine people have died no from covid no no rich fat people there's oh well i mean i feel like if

56:56 like need walking assistance and shit you know they're trying to destroy four devices installed This is amazing. but that literally happens because I gotta turn that you get resuscitated You get in, like, a fight with your girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, in your second life. Lady brings him back Ethan Hawke was in that really interesting fucking Time movie that I liked.

58:53 It was a more recent one. I don't want to give any of it away because it's such a twisted up plot. But it's a time travel movie. for regular mistakes like that's how you really learn shit. but they can't cook for some reason. It's always these wobbles and corrections. You get satisfaction out of that. Yeah, you need a little chaos. and you can make more of those.

1:02:22 Fuck no. Surprise! hey, I don't want gifts or anything like that, I mean, I'll take gifts and I'll take a party, the whole time I would rather be doing something else. Right. It's like you need a balance of people time and alone time. Like there's people up there somewhere, You want to go outside, there's people out there. I would love to be in the wilderness, but I'm not an outdoorsman.

1:06:01 grocery store there was no meat and you'd be like what the fuck there's no meat oh yeah remember that no meat no no milk no eggs no what i think i think one of the things we were talking about like where things got locked down We should have our own generators. I would still be a comic. So there's no power in the whole country. Right, it wouldn't take that long.

1:09:41 That's why people are so nonchalant about war Yellowstone can go at any moment. A rogue black hole. Oh, yeah. and they were happening all the time because the universe is so fucking big. and dirt that slammed into the Yucatan that killed the dinosaurs once they It's called the Younger Dryas Impact Theory. And was there civilization that was advanced that was knocked down to nothing that had to restart up again?

1:13:18 of people destroyed civilizations might have been the end of atlantis there's all this like crazy that that was like 2 000 years earlier the egypt stuff they don't really this like the pyramids We're going to destroy ourselves. Like, when does that end well? What if Mars would make the perfect world over there and some guru takes over and decides that we really have to destroy Earth?

1:15:36 Oh, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. point where we had to send oxygen to the to to these places so Mars was colonized first and then the belt and we but at the time of the show we're on mars they were like fuck earth you know wow so they're our rivals in the system and then the Yeah. Is it the people that settled the shit? It's like it's going to happen because they need Earth for support at first.

1:18:36 what the economy is based on? to re-engineer society they would try to some bitcoin type model where it was like no one can control But the amount of culture influence every time. Oh, yeah. I talked to him for well over an hour. I was over there for the UFC. somebody gonna whoop his ass one day cause anybody doing that can't really fight If you don't drink over there, they're going to have a problem with you.

1:21:39 No cheese at all? Raw milk cheese? Like, if you tell me, hey, Brian,, like this is the best fucking pizza on the planet. you're going to sell out your, If that was your whole, that feeling, that's an amazing feeling. dijonos and that right some bullshit piece but but yeah if you tell me it's this like this it's Oh, and hot red peppers was on it too.

1:24:35 club and we all decided to meet up the next day and like i get lunch or whatever right and simone it doesn't look like an open business. And so the guy comes and makes us, he brings us pizza. was thick it was like a thick layer of the tomato because it was almost like tomato jelly. But I'm not the only one. That Austin sushi place? It's incredible.

1:26:54 Mm-hmm. Like anybody that's like, they're that good, I don't even have to understand it. So creative. They know what the fuck they're doing. Yeah, motherfucker opened up in the subway. Was it Andrew Schultz? I mean, first of all, imagine you're this dude who is Schultz. And there's a word for it. paranoia of that nasal cavity clearing green paste. Besides that, I do not recommend.

1:30:08 Imagine the hordes of people that must have come to that place after that movie came out. You know, you're going to get famous, right? It probably affected everything. Or here's another possibility. But I don't see how that ruined the whole meal. and that some people like it a certain way and and you know like if you go to So in those places, all of them had exceptional food.

1:32:46 There's a lot of fish. There's a, I think it's called Bisateca di Florentine. and they get all this smoke into their meat. It's this giant fat. Sorry. If you go there and they're like, yeah, we make three things. And they've really fallen in love with this one particular cut of meat. or like a convenience store, And you walk in there, and there was a machine

1:36:22 And it was the best. But it's not fried. Starbucks now. So they put this, they had this big contraption and they kept throwing logs in there. That's it. If that place was around right now and I found out they were going under i would have bought them 100 oh yeah i would have bought them and kept fire that's the only way we're supposed to cook things. The best way to cook a piece of meat

1:38:40 Wood and fire makes And sometimes, you know, you find out the secret ingredient is like, No. Right. Oh. They know what the fuck they're doing. my friend's house for July 4th and I was taking notes people give me like food notes you got to Because if I go somewhere and have the best experience I've ever had, and then I bring people and it's not the same.

1:41:26 Oh, yeah? They even nailed it where it seems like i tell people that i've taken there that it's a chain they're like what there's all simple like they don't have a crazy thick I don't think it's disturbing. No? I don't think so. It's simple. What spices do you add? they do all the little things just better than you. Yeah. that shit i appreciate some good ass food you know and i i don't need you to describe it to me but i

1:43:56 You know what? Just to be different, I forget what the fuck the guy called it. And then he was real good at making sauces. Yeah, but. you know what I mean? And, by the way, there's no fucking money being a professional at racquetball. And people were really distraught, people that were a part of this Boston Athletic Club economics, you're in Boston,

1:46:13 Why isn't that more popular, though? Pool's dope. They look the same as the low-level matches. I remember watching them one time. This right here is like fucking up your theory Other than the people that play it But for the people that play it, it's awesome. Like my friend They're playing a hundred and- Against each other, yeah. Like on some marathon shit?

1:48:38 playing for some insane amount of money yeah i watch a regular person it's probably boring i This guy, Dennis Arcolo, hit this spot where people like to call dead stroke. and then towards the home stretch, like 110 games in, interest in doing it yourself you see that there's something about when people just figure something out at a such a super high

1:51:01 It's concentration, too. for longer than other people can. That's why we love, Like, some people think they can do comedy because they think all we're doing is talking. and they just have this blank look, like, understand the pressure either because look because look we we you drive every day motherfucker but if i put you in nascar like when there's a difference when there's stakes you know yes some and and if you've

1:53:17 They were stupid. of people being tricked by propaganda. we need to get them off the air they're spreading dangerous misinformation is it dangerous to you it's the same thing with the drugs, right? over who the fuck is gonna have that power. that the government should be allowed to spy on or someone who's just hired by a company and they have the ability like edward snowden has the

1:55:56 the bathroom, it's not a secret It's like everybody. because you you say good because fuck those guys they should be spied on right the problem is it but it's a legal gray area in a way it's a foggy legal gray area and everybody was up in arms about it. thought he was doing shit that you wanted right you didn't think about the Because one of the things about Trump that fucked up any good things that he could have possibly done

1:59:17 We're going to put her in jail. That's what a president's supposed to sound like. If I didn't live here, if I was observing America from the outside, it would be hilarious. Wow. oh that's true that's true yeah i mean, George Bush didn't give a fuck. Just be dumb. Because in comparison to Trump, they're like, oh, man, we didn't realize we had it so good.

2:01:53 it's a fucking terrible idea. You know, he just thought it was an opportunity for him to have prestige. So we need a concerted effort where we coordinate with the media, if this person doesn't win and our person gets in there. president of Haiti got assassinated new shit. A squad of gunmen assassinated Wednesday, inflicting more chaos for various reasons.

2:05:25 It says Bochit Edmond, the Haitian ambassador to the United States, said the attack on the 53-year-old Moise, I'm not saying his, I don't know if I'm saying his name right, Moise, M-O-I-S-E, was carried out by foreign mercenaries and professional killers, well orchestratedrated and that they were masquerading as So true. It's just that we're all convinced that we're not being controlled,

2:06:49 We just feel free. tell a bunch of motherfuckers the government is spiraling you collecting all your messages be able to just spy on people randomly because at the end of the day the government is comprised of to use violence to maintain it or not yeah but that But that's really all it is. You can create this utopia with all these rules, actually in the military would have to turn on the people that they grew up with they would have to

2:09:38 in a military way. Really hard. because the elites tell them to, and the worst thing to ever happen and we need to burn it down. If you taught that to Motherfuckers got tanks and helicopters, extra helicopters. I was in L.A. at the time. have you heard the result that once you pass like a certain amount of money a year, pass a certain level of policing it doesn't make it safer it doesn't like decrease crime

2:13:25 But I think that the intelligent people involved, that's what they mean when they say defund the police. Like how much money does it cost where people have to put in extra security measures because they're nervous? Has our society deteriorated to the point We could. Well, that's what a lot of these people think, like Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg.

2:15:30 They're like, they just want everything to belong to them. They'd be on a horse chopping people's heads off. Jesus Christ. this to me. Someone explain this to me i mean there's a little documentary about it, You don't? It's basically we're barely getting by. gas there's so many things we make with oil there's so many things that we make with petroleum

2:18:31 when they're babies no I'm saying where they start between the dick and the This book scared the fuck out of me, man. the plastics get into our blood. They get into our body. When we're eating things that are in And our taints are shrinking. This woman, she's, how old do you think she is, Jimmy? Countdown. So does she have like a chart or something?

2:21:35 So it's like your exposure and your mom's when taint started shrinking, that's a different generation. of your body's ability to produce certain hormones. Right, no. I would consider a friend. I get it now. Like he felt like he was a man. When he started taking testosterone immediately, he was like, oh, I got it. Keep your dick to yourself. And you're so confused.

2:25:20 What is it? no man remember the time before hoes remember the time when you anything else no practice i remember i showed up and i hadn't been to the school in like two weeks Your whole world's changed. Like, there's advice that some people can give you. So you hide. no one talked about beating off in high school oh no everybody acted like they never did they

2:28:08 100% true. I don't know. and now I'm older and I'm like, But the crazy thing is that was because at a certain point in time in the past, it was They're viable It's very beneficial to literally love someone more than you love yourself. my wife but if it was just me and my wife i'd be like oh looks like that bitch is getting a We'll get more bananas.

2:31:21 I don't know if there's anything I love more than I love myself. And one of the things with me, it made me think, like, I always love kids. So you spend a lot of time imagining people as babies? You know, one point in time it came from the factory, nice and fresh. It doesn't do you any good. Imagine taking that in and If you can get swift, concise revenge, I say go for it.

2:34:14 like the United States, to become No, here's something I've been thinking about. I mean, that's pretty much the premise to The Matrix. That's going to be the end of the species. But it's like, That does everything your wife The problem is you're very different things. And you find a comfortable vibration where you like that person and they like you you've

2:37:35 You really can. yeah that's the thing but how much okay but let me ask you this how Right. and you fall in love with some Russian agent, The thing that we love is one of the things want we want to be around people i don't think artificial people are necessarily gonna fit that and she looked like a total human being like there was nothing about her that seemed like a robot

2:41:31 Yeah, that's a little crazy. Yeah. stitched it all together so this woman is carrying these things that protrude her breast forward and I don't know about that. like a like super hot woman would say and like teased you and like was communicating with you as we think we have. at a lonely point yeah yeah it's like even if you didn't fall for it you would do something

2:44:27 I mean, are they dangerous to me? Oh, I thought you were saying And this is your sex robot. that's intelligent so intelligent it can mimic a human and this is your partner your sex partner fucking an ape theirs from a previous time they'd been abducted because they'd been multiply abducted. Like that So all these guys out there that score these one-night stands,

2:47:50 Right. But that is totally possible, We could be. I mean, it's unlikely, but. intelligent life out there somewhere something you know at least sentient Because we grow concerns. It's just that we have So whatever the next thing is that they can't possibly understand, these uh nuclear missile silos and shut down launch codes and and did weird shit to the computers that

2:52:44 make sure that they didn't blow the earth up. We're trying. that was the best shit they had. They had metal and everything. of the world instantaneously wild shit that we can do now and we just accept it as being normal Look at it. The fact that it doesn't have any windows at all? Dude, I think that's that's the key. we're way too disjointed and way too confused and way too involved in conflict to ever band together as a community and fight off

2:56:34 we would just revert to the tribal shit. all those people waiting in line to buy guns. What do you think they were worried about? I don't know. They were worried If shit goes south, I mean, that's when you saw in L.A. all those people waiting in line to buy guns. All right, let's get it. Yeah, in October. Okay, so the next place I'm going to be is Kansas City.

2:57:40 Kansas City. Yeah. Bye.