Joe Rogan Experience #1703 — Tom Segura Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. I'm glad you're well, man. It's an American company. it like jim acosta i meant like like usa today a few other places yeah and they're talking about He's from Frontline COVID Critical Care Workers. Human T-M-P-R-S-S-2. So what's going on with the, like the, you know, it's kind of hard to figure out what's the truth in a lot of things.

3:55 So because there is this treatment in ivermectin, and there's other treatments too. And is it that night? At the show, I think I had two drinks, and then I had like four afterwards. It's hard to describe. If I had had covid it was just like beginning stages but i thought it was a hangover right which kind going on. Let's see what it is. It was 90, whatever percent sure it was COVID. So morning I got tested,

6:54 Yeah, I was already ready to go. Nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide. In IV drips. No, no, no this time. I didn't fuck around But watch TV Yes And I was like Yeah. And I thought it was the opioid withdrawals. And then on Monday, I think it was Monday or Tuesday, I had PT and OT back to back. Oh. I slept for like three hours. do you want to take a COVID test?

11:26 And they go, it's expensive. And they're like, we don't know. But she's one of those kids that like when she gets sick, she wants you to know I'm sick. Oh, right. So crazy. He's like, do you see my ass? I go, the teacher said no school? That's hilarious. Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah. He's like, what are you doing today, Tom? and the older kid goes, if I see you in school

15:01 Well, once they see you're special, too, My kids have never seen me perform, but they did get to peak backstage. Yeah. My dad. He's like, so you can see what I'm talking about. Take another one. did I show you this I go yeah we talked about it you sent me these photos I don't want to see my And then, like, he puts it down. out of nowhere out of nowhere jesus christ tell me like a cartel torture transitions. I'm like, what the? Out of nowhere. Out of nowhere. Jesus Christ.

18:19 And then he's like, let me get a Diet Coke. like you've known someone like decades and you're like, I still don't fully get the guy, That war is injustifiable. what they think about like my dad is he was a lieutenant you know like had a One time, he told me this, like, a year ago, Wow. So they're just going door to door trying to find these people that help the americans yeah you know what they

21:33 previous four years where i get some of the big headlines you know you kind of just ingest them But it feels like that doesn't help you. didn't read the article I just read the headline you know he apparently kept He struggles, you know? You know, this is real clear. Jamie, do you know what happened? That's just going to force people to vote Democratic.

25:15 that women decide for themselves like why why do do so many guys think you're not carrying it man so strongly about this yeah and then i don't buy the fact that it's like, well, it's precious life to you. Okay. don't you think though that that's got to be for most women just a fucking horrific experience Yeah. Let's step back a second here. Imagine, like, the guy's like,

28:37 It's not healthy for them in any way, shape, or form. is mortality in relation to oral contraceptive use and cigarettes their But the pill's terrible for women. You know, the other options obviously are IUDs and condoms and some other. That's what doctors say. No. And that was the only time that I wasn't taking ivermectin prophylactically, which is supposed to be, according to Dr. Pierre Corey, supposed to be the best use of it.

31:54 When I Googled it, that's the study that says, in quotes, flawed, according to Nature.com. So if you cut one of your own farts? All smell like farts. yuck i can't how long has that toothbrush been here i get a fresh toothbrush toothpaste and i'm they should usually the smell is bad or even revolting for example you see a banana instead Really? Yeah.

34:39 Laura Bites. Isn't it amazing? Yeah. Didn't get sick? She was wrecked for a solid week or so. Did they go to him for it? And high-dose vitamin C in particular, I've been told this by multiple doctors, is just phenomenal when you're really sick. have scheduled vitamin drips for the tour. David goes hard. And a cigarette. And he said the vaccine hit him harder than the COVID did.

37:02 I got vaccinated. It's so weird, man. I mean, were all made up with different, you know, genetics, chemical composition. You varies. You know, the human beings were all made up of different had a previous COVID infection, you're 6 She's in the hospitals every day. That's not that long. then took yesterday off and then worked out again today. The hocking up, yeah.

39:15 for watching the special but it's like when you're sick yeah people are like I Right. right everything's fine yeah i'm doing pretty good. But meanwhile, I don't have a bad message. My message is be healthy. pool till like I said 3 30 in the morning you know I love playing pool so Well, you know, that message is not a good message. everything feels a little, if it's less than five, it's that much worse. And if I get seven or more,

42:35 Oh, really? But I might even do it all through September, too. I wonder if he'll do it this year. Not just, Yes. Yeah, but not too, like not to ruin your fucking life. I do yoga again for October. It's the best time for New York City. I mean, I don't know. It's a competition. Okay. Well, he gets very angry. I'm 100% down for that. I lost a little weight.

45:41 Yeah. But what is yoga like during the, well, Ari hasn't had COVID. For his movie? The problem is there's no real studies on the booster. Probably hammered the whole time. The Russians were like, for these huge productions. just see what happens. Probably when you get to a set, yes. And they go, you're going to, it's let's say 12 to 15 days, like a pretty decent-sized part in this movie.

48:05 to be there during Thanksgiving. So I'm like, okay. So I, I basically, I, I tell Christina, go, well, if they have to shut down production, they need to know that they'll have you in case, I go, I'm not doing it, man. difference between you and a regular actor like they don't understand you make your money Right. have yeah it was amazing yeah amazing but I would never do it again yeah I

50:53 And he was like, can you move it? I go, I don't give a fuck if it's with Martin Scorsese. I got offered a show where they throw you into space. That would be the most heinous way to die. Oh, my God. I doubt it. But he's making the rockets. Would you take, if it had a bunch of runs where they've been doing it for- Look at the curve. That's quite a team.

52:58 Who wants to go on the first run? I mean is it is that really space. like a flight is like between 30 and 40 something thousand feet commercial flight How far is it? 60 miles, 62 miles. God damn. I further, man. That's way further. 60 miles. Like where the regular flights go. Do you know how far? I mean, they can't all be on that same line. i'll go with uh yeah, 90,000 feet.

56:01 It's supposed to have gone higher. Yeah, because Omega sponsored it. He was like, Yeah. Well, he's retired. to be getting a new space and then So what is 80 kilometers? So who went higher, him or Branson? Is that like a normal flight attendant? Yeah. You're right. but you'll save me. They have a timer. And did Bezos hit? He shit on that party for sure.

59:08 He didn't fucking go. There you go. the whole way. Look at that over there. And I'm like, oh no, We know we're up here. Shut up. Guys, we're in space. July 11th went off course, according to the New Yorker magazine. There's a lot of do you know that the fires in Northern, California speaking of people that being billionaires too. Yeah, they're that. People hate billionaires. There's a lot of that going on. There's a lot of...

1:00:56 What the fuck was he trying to do? So he was setting fires behind them Fucking terrifying, man, that this guy was a professor. Yeah, this is what's crazy. busted him because his car got caught in the fire. Like he was in the area where you're supposed to His teaching research school said focuses on topics including the sociology of health, defiance, and crime.

1:03:15 A black Kia Soul, of course he has a Kia Soul, Look at this. What a fucked up person. Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, there have been fire department members, This is the guy. Giannini John Leonard Orr The lawyer said Did he? No. Yeah. It is kind of crazy that anybody... Mm-hmm. Join the investigation as lead character. No way. That came out after this. Another nickname is Hell of a Pirate.

1:08:08 yeah these it's strange so points of origin playing with fire is his book but it's late You do? My wife might have It's fucking insane It's the strangest thing because he talks, That's obsession with celebrity, though, right? There's a lot of people that were like, yes, finally justice what what are you talking how many people yeah it's like up to 50 you

1:10:29 He fathered a kid in prison. married in prison manson a fucking woman married charles manson and he was like fucking 70 she was Someone's out there for you. I mean, a guy who crushed women's heads with hammers and shit. Some, for sure. You know, that's like. I don't remember the whole story behind it, article well before the famous new wave band that made her famous came together. How about editing, you fucks?

1:13:21 and lived to tell the tale. the mayor harry matt the man harry met was bundy i mean and that numbers yeah that he put up yeah I saw, did you see the movie? the term profiling didn't exist before him and a few other guys started to study, And then he'd be like, of course, I have no idea. being that guy and you have to sit there and listen and listen talk about how they tortured

1:16:16 That's the name of her book. because he was a, I mean like fucking over a hundred homes. this guy's heart rate just must be like And, you know, he was a police officer. Then he became the East Area Rapist. You realize that's some guy's uncle and dad. What do you mean? So all this happened during the pandemic? Dude, that series is incredible um yeah it's hbo did it it's fucking wild man and he uh yeah so he was he was doing this like

1:20:28 in a bag in one of these like rooms. But then they go, they were like, well, let's, let's, you know, by, by looking I don't think it's that far away. Yeah. Oh, my God. But I feel like when we looked this up one time, maybe it had been overturned or something. You got this wrong? Yes. I'm pretty sure, and I'm pretty sure they were saying, hey, motherfucker, this is not how it works.

1:24:07 They had to go to court over it. It was crazy. Cleared of manslaughter. These motherfuckers should have known. Yeah. Lock them up. You know, the people that are the best at defeating lie detectors are like the worst Yeah. And for how old it is, you can tell that CGI has gotten better. But when you first saw it, you're like, there's dinosaurs there. You're fucking freaking out. But now it yes, but when you first saw it you're like there's dinosaurs there

1:26:53 They showed a photo of Kelly McGillis. team at Scientology that's just dedicated to massaging his skin. And he still does his own stunts, which is crazy. for the thrill of cinema like so that the movie looks cool it's fucking crazy It's awesome Yeah I got it any movies without stunts anymore? That's a fucking great movie that you could never make today.

1:30:19 What do they call it? it right like because it was like it's basically kind of what we're talking about. But these Mission Impossible movies, Yeah. I guess he could do maybe a couple. Oh, Repeat and Repeat. I mean, you look through the trending movies, he uh this is on netflix it's called crime and um i forget what the fucking full name is um is the new cocaine Cowboys the King of Miami Billy's thing yeah Billy Corbin

1:33:23 Yeah. No. Have you done a Spanish-speaking show down there? using it really. Right. It's gotten a lot better. But talking to people is the best way. let's talk about something else. And it's like like it's the best and it's improved it. Doing the shows actually is a really great and tighter and tighter. and and it's helped for sure but i like i won't be able to feel like the spanish set is uh solid

1:37:41 Five, which is a lot less than I found out. Did you do a headliner set? Like, I was fucking stammering. five months anymore like the first night to see comedy So their enthusiasm helped. Yes. Well, it was because this was before the Delta kicked in. and did it with you and Chappelle. Yeah, nuts. I was like, this is a little sketch. And they're basically like, unless there's a federal fucking

1:41:16 and or negative tests. nine or excuse me january they got vaccinated in january nine months ago and And they can go anywhere and do anything. if people have been vaccinated, they still get it. Yeah. I mean, the real thing, because I, But like it looks like a original covid data. protection wanes after X amount of months, depending on who you are and how healthy you

1:43:32 And it's clear that it's going to be hanging around for a minute. Was it the MU variant or something Yeah That's just my own point of view. You're like. Right. I mean, I literally got better with no treatments Obviously, you never know if you would have got it, Flying in Thursday, flying Friday morning, you're flying somewhere else. You go do two shows or whatever.

1:47:27 Yeah. So my routine is pretty much now we do strength stuff in the morning and then cardio pre-show, two hours pre-show. And it's great. And you're like, this alertness is how I like to feel going on stage. 30 and 50 minutes of cardio. eat within an hour of a show or two hours of show it's just fruit oh yeah yeah i treat it the same If you wait until you're hungry hungry, like for me, it's always poor decisions.

1:50:01 belching and you feel it on stage. Yeah. God. Yeah. I heard she's doing better, too. We found out he's Omar from The Wire and a couple other TV shows. this and he's absolutely right, that there wouldn't If I just drank a whole thing of whiskey. and I died, I took, You know stimulants like everything like I tested positive for everything You're buying organized crimes version of these drugs

1:54:07 this character is so amazing, the Omar character. is they're lacing everything with fentanyl because it's so potent They don't give a shit. which doesn't work. The big change is saying all drugs should be legal. But they're right. That is one of the ones that gets to me the most because i even the way that they deliver the news like Why am I seeing your personality shine through?

1:57:24 Like, get your news from overseas where they're like here's A hundred percent. But I think that the problem is personality, give me these uh these personnel like and that did crazy ratings then you have the competition Yeah. I'm not saying it's negative, but it's odd that they figured out that formula and it took so long. Yeah. That's the problem. The out that that's what gets eyeballs, man. Yeah, that's the problem.

2:00:14 They need to know that you're there. the idea of round the clock news cnn was news that was like objective and clear it was anchors just I want to get fired up about the shit that I'm fired up about and have somebody smarter That's the thing. Well, look at the absolute record level Yeah. Well, then newspapers have dwindled. I think it's also- off-label, whereas they recognize that there's properties that this drug has that would be

2:03:49 Yeah. Then you have the problem with the right wing versus left wing narrative, because a lot of people think that, you know, right wing means that you're anti-vax, Yeah. You can't possibly It doesn't exist where there's any kind of production, where there's any executives or any networks or any people with a vested interest or some sort of a connection to sponsors.

2:05:48 They made it like a- Yeah, you're a second amendment person. Skyrocketed. And it's a fun thing to do. Also, with me, I think they probably just assume I already am like that. You should know how to shoot a gun. Yeah. would credit them i have a membership out here, at a range if you want to go. You never want to have to use it. Yeah. Yeah. I do like a guy passed a test.

2:08:57 It's fucking important. What they'll do is they'll set it up like 300 yards away. No, buddy. And even then, I would like to do this. He's way too close, man. Oh my God. Yeah. So he asked me to come kill a zebra. Unless I was gonna eat it. Wait, no, I'm thinking of Joe's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's in Montreal, yeah. their Italian food is off the fucking charts.

2:12:53 real artisans and Janet was like what do you do like why we have this fucking I don't even eat pasta anymore. Yeah, same guys. I can't wait to go. The guy who's the head guy? And then- That place is insane. My other thing i'm looking forward to going because i love croissants And I was like, oh, fuck. Yes. Why is bread so bad for you? It's the best.

2:16:00 With the garlic bread, Yeah. Is it also in the area, in downtown area? And the people are so cool there. For real. No, it's different. Lighten them up. Yeah, making this crazy noise. Yeah. No. and the fox was playing with the baby deer. With Foxy the Fox, I think. Yeah. This is my friend Foxy. Remember it stole his hat? Yeah. movie grizzly man yeah he became friends with these foxes with foxy the fox i think yeah this

2:19:45 on the other side, and they were all just like... And they had this big pit bull come in. So they stitched this dog up. Yeah. They were just torn apart. Yeah, look at this. Oh, my God. They will kill people. like in texas if you have a mountain lion in your yard you just shoot it and they go did you shoot they're trying to recall him. Like, it's not realistic.

2:23:51 That's one way I'm not. The idea that you're supposed to be calm and collected as you find an intruder in your house. Exactly. protecting a small child and then you look one thing that i have said multiple times that it's a new thing as I've become an adult is I now because I'm a I'm all about cutting them wide fucking open. send it to their kid. Cost dad an eye.

2:26:25 Fuck, man. falsely the family wasn't allowed to be there. Cool district attorney. Yeah. It's fucking almost doesn't. Progressive and more progressive like the most progressive possible and then more progressive still. sheriff is like look we've got to do something and people have to protect themselves because Does he want to stay there? It's spooky because it wasn't like this just a few years ago.

2:29:43 Maybe if they realize that people are so fed up that they're going to recall the governor Is the election. It's super insulting. Yeah. population wise it's enormous more people in california than in canada for people that don't That's the biggest economy in the world, the state is. You have zero to do with the innovation in California. Meanwhile, they're all moving here.

2:32:44 Because they built in front of You know For buying and pulling some of the minerals out of the ground. If they're, like, verified this one has, thing where I buy better off like putting those on another phone. But for Yeah. The moon. Yeah. How crazy Right, right, right. Like what is the digital fuckery? it knows the moon looks like. Yeah, see, that's

2:36:43 of the moon. so if the moon is I know. It looks like where a pussy should be. And one of the ways that they find the impact of phthalates on mammals that's very measurable is the size of their taints. This is all from what we're consuming? Countdown. And some of it is from some different environmental pollutants or from pesticides. and then people just being confused about sex overall.

2:40:03 Why would anybody know this? compared to actually And it keeps declining? the baby has a direct reaction to these phthalates. just so you know. the seemingly impossible? Samsung says AI super resolution is responsible for producing sharper than the naked eye can see photos at 10x to 100x zoom. where are you? something's being done that enhances it my photo

2:42:20 Yeah, it seems like it. It sounds a lot like this is a very crude explanation of what's happening in a deep fake. It's crazy. That's why, because he looks like Tom Cruise. But now Apple, this is a thing that Edward Snowden's been talking about on Twitter a lot. And that's a slippery slope. Like, what if your son comes in here, Right. Sorry, you got to go to jail forever.

2:45:15 yeah this is in addition to this is part of like I had that concern with things like this that this like pictures I've taken of you from past concerts. scary to me is like what what's to stop people from putting it on someone's phone what's to stop someone from using that to access You can't give them that kind of power. They have like camps. like if you leave the room yeah you're jail you're fucked well do you see what's going on in paris

2:48:10 God damn. from the Delta variant than someone who's vaccinated. You need the ability to test people on a regular basis that's accurate. They're beating the shit out of this lady. That's the truth, right? It's like then you make people enforce that law, well, the cops are going to do what they're supposed Which is so fucked. Is this just human nature when you tell people that they can't do a certain thing and then

2:50:53 So now you have these business owners that are like, well, I have to stay open. Are they? I don't think that they're stopping people from instituting their own regulations for I think that is a different ballgame. Yeah, but you can still do it if you want to. I'd rather be here during this wackiness. How does this country pull out of this? And now you have to have contempt and hatred

2:53:47 At least, you know, we're still a ways away from it. But talking about running again and then this then you'll actually have for the first time. Well, I mean like Unless Trump and DeSantis He's not going to get better When was the last time you even saw her talk? that I always heard the term or the expression yeah fuck fuck I just wish there was like something that stood like some

2:55:59 who to choose from, you're like, Hey, what did you think of my arm photos that I showed you backstage? Well, I'm almost nine weeks out, so I got cleared to, I can now pick up five pounds. Dr. Mitchell Saruya. No. live is one of the best innovations to come out of the pandemic. I think it's a brilliant idea. The fact that you have these completely wild, uncensored videos.

2:58:03 It's an amazing idea. is that like when Bert decided to innovate and do a drive-in movie show, yeah, all these different September 22nd. and then you can watch it It'll be real crazy all right always good to see you bye everybody Thank you.