Joe Rogan Experience #1731 — Theo Von Transcript

Transcript

0:00 the Joe Rogan experience Yeah, they used to sell that. So if you're seeing some guy moving around and, like, he looks like he's in agony Like, that's the beautiful thing about having that button. Oh, to take some time to get a breather maybe? And then you feel that sting. I would take the pain, man. That's a great fight. He's so beautiful the way he moves, man.

2:56 To me, in a way, when I see him, he's more of a—it has almost a ballet to it. Everything he throws, his punches, his kicks, even his submissions, it's all perfect technique. Oliveira is a great guy to study. i would just be hilarious but now i'm like if i She fucks up everybody. See if you can find Valentina Shevchenko's gun tattoo. I was going to say marksman.

5:15 I would, brother. Oh, very sweet. different kind of person like very intense person but also like you know her her approach to martial Like look at her. like that would be the hardest thing you know I think scary so seeing people do it and like you know and that's their way to express I don't know if I would do it like, I wouldn't do it like sanctioned.

7:31 And Louisiana stem cells, They definitely put a little extra something in there. I bet he went out of state for bet he has rice in his hip right now some filler oh they definitely put a little extra something in there i bet he went out of state for those stem cells yeah but that that whole world's i don't know what the fuck you're talking about yeah you just called me out on that one

8:51 obviously if you pay for it, just because I don't want to listen to commentary. yeah that uh let me think what i've heard i've listened to some tribal music oh okay um dude i Calm app. Did that give you peace? found like a human femur you know he'd written like yeah like there's people out i mean there's use at high schools he's playing like uh carly ray jepson like call here's my number call me

12:22 Like, I definitely save money by living in Tennessee. Why am I giving you this money? freaking high school drum equipment and you're telling people they have to have a vaccine to Done. I'll drop into the forum. I despise it. When you leave, like Los Angeles, you're in like a, I always feel like I'm in like the airport, you know, like that. Yeah, it doesn't feel like people are completely invested in living there.

15:16 yeah tiktok like take out or something i think there's like different things yeah well like a She's just her. It was weird. Yeah. It feels like we drove into another station. Well, because like there's no workers anymore, And he was coming back to work. No, you can't. You're saying you only want to work 20 hours a week. Yeah. unemployment you know it's like i feel like that's how things equate in people's heads

19:01 Pilots calling in sick. Yeah. Like you got to go, oh, shit. Yeah, I was reading about this lady who makes honey. I had a party, Careful. Don't sniff it. Can I try one? And Rob told us we were talking about smelling salts. All right. And just open that bag. Don't't even bottle by the way the bottle is completely sealed That's Theo taking the plastic off the bottle.

22:19 I think you're supposed to leave it in there. Before they lift the fucking universe? whiff of it right before you lift, Take that to the fights this week. That's something you buy at a Nelly concert fights case anybody needs it No it's not that bad Get a hit Like, whoa, Nelly. That's what they use to, like, clean it up or sprinkle on it. Oh, I think that's different.

24:23 Oh, boy. I don't know. Thank you for that. I've seen those guys. To toughen their cheeks up? That's what wakes you up from being knocked out, Whoa. My nose is still infected with it. I didn't even look in there. Exactly. I'll hit a... That's a nice smell. Do you remember when Katie Dukakis, when Mike Dukakis was running for president, Also hairspray.

27:10 Aftershave, hairspray, and other household products to induce oblivion and fight depression before seeking treatment. Nothing. Right? The first SSRI approved marketing in the U.S. lasted 1982. You know, fluvoxamine, I think that's how you say it. and he was explaining how fluvoxamine, how it works. You know what I'm saying? I got a friend of mine, one of his friends has a buddy who has not tasted anything in eight months.

30:04 That's the part I really enjoy, the heightened scents. I like that buzz, man? Yeah, it burned a little. That's the part I really enjoy, the heightened sense. No, don't do it. to check into rehab to find out if you could smell. Yeah I love potato chips. I think they keep going to things to the past and they make them better like they go back and get

31:48 What was the other one? For sure. Dude, I'll tell you what had me buzzed out. It's got me buzzed out for sure. For sure. dance or be a part of something. That's a strong number. I don't think so That's what I call that dude. It's just like. That's to see how physically adapt you are how good you're gonna be at football. Yeah, so they'll Well, it's insulting to the players, too.

35:02 You're making millions. It's just reaching so hard. Have a seat on the couch. I hate to repeat my own jokes, You know how comics like- going on this country is the ignoring of these horrible neighborhoods that are have never gotten that are fucked in this neighborhood invent things and start businesses and employ people and do well for their family and for

37:34 I don't think they have. This is the thing that troubles me. they survived pressure and they survived strife and hardship and then they became these amazing That there's no manageability, They expended like 70 rounds in the street. and they didn't charge them because they said it's mutual combat. I'd put Keith Peterson out there in a heartbeat, dude.

39:53 The gunfight, which was caught on a police surveillance camera, It's not playing volume. one of the issues that they were facing recently is that they arrest people or they there's no point in arresting them because they're not being actually prosecuted after they're arrested And then you realize like this is reality. like people have opened up a can of worms that you can't close.

42:34 I'm gonna fill y'all up. Man. because of the vaccine mandate. So there's a lot of these guys. Yeah. No, you have antibodies from an actual infection, but monoclonal antibodies are an actual infusion that they give you when you're sick. They were saying It's not like there's a supply problem think people should kind of be able to make their own choice. That's always been the case. Why is

45:44 This is a gene therapy. chimps that had got out one day. The police came but dude, that vaccine they made for people for polio, Not yet. The negative effects. Not effects not yet not yet but it's We have no idea. to i think choose what they want to do and, I think, really compressed and ostracized by a lot of media and a lot No, no, no. than someone who's vaccinated.

48:35 didn't even know you had it. That's how we do it, Joe. I think he just put band-aids on his face like it was a thing. Unbelievably stops a guy like that like if you go back and think of a comic from that era It was Country Grammar? He's also got like 10 TV shows right now. I know we're working. I mean, what a lucky damn he's a billionaire Not disappeared, but...

51:45 billionaire he's a billionaire close to it I might have like Jamie just fucked All a bunch of stuff like this, like Alpha Brain, like i look forward to september that's my christmas because september is my bow hunting crack, crack, crack, crack Mm-hmm if we had to physically battle each other for the right to stick up. I think we could use it because one of the toughest things about being in a society is people can just fuck and you can make any.

54:45 peace you know there is one problem that's real that exists in nature right in nature the weak the world right because you can fuck up. But because they invented weapons I mean mentally as well. they have no problem breeding. Well, nature would have fixed it, right? Hadn't been you know paying his water bill or like, or can't I mean, it's a crazy fucked up story.

57:46 You literally don't hear a peep about it. And everybody's trying. It doesn't feel like it's about us. Zamari Ahmadi angrily dismissed any suggestion They keep adding, it's like. But actually, that's possible now. but incredibly articulate lady, powerful woman. they said he's the black face of white supremacy. Yeah. This looks like a Donnell Rawlings character as well.

1:01:03 she's holding a gun and she doesn't have her finger in a proper Oh, I like that. and she is the lieutenant governor. So she's communist countries you want to hear someone who is a fucking anti-Marxist anti-communist Do you think though that we're like, we're heading more towards like, Cause it's the heads are big. Like Uriah Faber. Yeah. U built like me. Like Uriah Faber.

1:03:15 That thing will fucking be, dude, that thing will be holding onto your wife and just, that He gets a hold of that Nexon. That team Alpha Male from up north, Real solid guy, very smart. So if you look at Bill Gates, right? and taped him, I am But I really think and your thumb If you took his fucking pulse war war um murder rape the theft the strong taking over and doing terrible things to the weaker

1:05:39 what would be the best Yeah, and maybe your head's giant and you could read each other's minds. So you develop this little tiny-ass fucking hole for a mouth. because they're like fuck we're not going back to that shit hole you know what i'm saying or maybe I think we're eventually going to look like that. They're getting out of the solar system going into space

1:08:22 Wasn't he in another show? What other show was he on? He was the commish. The Shield. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. You know, because if you're running and it gets sweaty, you're like, oh, my God, I wish I didn't have this thing. He was doing great until the wig popped up. Well, if we eliminate that totally, we don't have any need for generals and everybody looks the same.

1:10:26 You can't even decide. You're like, why don't I like him you know you're like it's like especially down south. Papa did that all day. Youngkin. And then everyone's like, you fucking He's the best. Really? Yours is too. You're gonna pretty absurd take on things too, but you're doing your shit solo Did he fuck pillows at least? Sorry. I'm scared about what's in everything in here now.

1:13:30 We're taking care of shit. called neural link do you have you heard of this i've heard of this yeah right so it's going to be So if they get past this Neuralink thing, and it evolves and gets better and better, to be filled with anxiety all the time behold outside probably I would for a Let's see how it shakes out. Would you be upset if you were married and your wife had a mind meld with another person?

1:15:44 She's just having some experience. No one has genitals. Are there some... At that casino out near Palm Springs. Yeah. Oh, I forgot to tell you, my grandfather is Barney Hill. and then they woke up hours later. Hypnotic regression, but something clearly had happened to them. They were missing time and And they had this story and this is only one story they had their whole life and they never

1:18:32 to go with the alien story is a brave thing. like what if people think like bullshit but it's a wild story in the Angela Hill that's her grandfather that's crazy To be a married interracial couple, they probably dealt with a bunch of bullshit. Wow. Did he? You could say, oh, I could tell, man. I think it'll be our great, great grandchildren that have no genitals.

1:20:09 Yeah. i started masturbating after i had sex no way man i don't know if that happens to a lot of people pull your hand on the wall and bend towards it like you're fucking and then do like a reaction and the little one would go over there and the big one that made me feel good. Right. Shit, if I go to sleep now, I can sleep for 10 minutes. Yeah, I remember.

1:24:09 and I came so hard When you've been just storing it up for a few weeks. In just five years, your desire, like what you want to do with the world, changes 100%. Or you would tuck it into the top. And you put the clothes over it. Oh, yeah, I believe it. When it's hard or soft when it's soft you just grab it. Yeah you ever do that? When it's hard or soft? When it's soft. You just grab it?

1:26:31 when it's soft. Damn. He's got a boner. Oh, well, it's like if you go to like Europe now it's like They had one treadmill, and this was like a nice place I was staying at. Yeah. a steak right really yeah we didn't We didn't have a steak. Right. gets an A on a test. It used to be This is the best food, the most nutritious food, most nutrient dense food.

1:29:23 I don't know. Jordan just has steak and salt and water. Oh. Stress and anger. You were having anxiety too. that's what i realized that something was going on i didn't know what it was a lot of it was anger Oh. Yeah. There was a time where I thought it was a tonsil. Yeah, just like a solar system. sitting there in the chair and then suddenly like um you have your eyes closed and you're

1:32:23 I probably wouldn't be having them with the rest of the world. Come on, we're going to keep talking. A hundred percent. Well, it reminds me, Dustin Poirier, he used to fight dudes in his town in front of the But then he polished it up. You're certainly a, yeah, you certainly are. And how big is the bag? With an Aaron Rodgers jersey on. Oh, he's a white Kyrie Irving, dude.

1:34:49 i'm like you guys couldn't even here's the thing about aaron rogers i could say this now because it he has he has a legit allergy to this stuff and it's in shampoos it's it's a it's a commonly Yeah, that's it. and one of them is Brian's mom, you know, we could all eat Brazil nuts. The CDC's website says if you have an allergic reaction to anything in it, you should not.

1:37:18 If you have had a severe allergic reaction or an immediate allergic reaction to any ingredient Do you just start a league for people that aren't vaccinated then, do you think? I think the problem with this is there's like a one level approach. to these original things, I think, because they also have the brought to you by Pfizer, it's on my Instagram.

1:39:11 saying bro i've been dude i got fiddled diddled by a black guy when i was growing up congratulations Yeah, that didn't happen. You know what I'm talking about? He was trying to find out who gets hard. Most of them, you don't get a bite. And then I was 13 years old, 12 or 13. There was like this main pond. He was serving out. He was perving out. Oh I was trusting because he was a smart guy he was

1:42:23 interesting I didn't ever know so much about like buds and like navy seal program and stuff You're overreacting. No. you could have been how to fight I was in a new neighborhood. Interesting, man. Well, And it alleviated I remember. Who led you into it though? it just alleviated that. Yeah. I remember. Well, I started with, I did kung fu a little bit when I was a kid, but I didn't really stick with it.

1:44:43 Yeah. there's an alleviation of pressure Okay, so, like, I can at least. like some of my nicest friends are friends that do jujitsu. People are kicking me in the back of the fucking neck. So tell me about this ketamine trip. I'm happy that you guys are doing so good down here. I love it down here. This is awesome. I miss you so much, man. Yeah, I miss you too. Thanks for having me.

1:46:39 Well, I did notice one time I got off the plane and everybody's in masks and everybody's scared. Open that bag. Just open the bag. Jesus. That's got to be the most powerful Ziploc bag ever. Juju Mufu, guys. Can you get a focus on it? But he hasn't. Full splits, holding, looks like thought it was a like a counselor or something. I'm sitting in the chair.

1:49:17 I'm still talking to him. I'm sitting in here with you and there's this table here. And it was this crazy thing, dude. yeah i share a lot of emotional stuff so i think I'm probably more prone to it maybe than some people. it was hard. hope, Yeah, I felt myself like going through these channels. I was just so far out in my head. You know, Neil's an intense guy.

1:52:45 Wow. I don't recognize you as an angry guy. like whenever I got more success in my job or something, that I would feel some. And I'm not saying I'm amazing in my job, but once I started to have some success in my job, that I would feel different. I've heard about it. You know? loved to deer hunt. sprinkle that piss out there i'm willing to go with you and blame newsome i don't know i mean it's just it's just halloween

1:55:11 Somehow or another, like, gay traps don't bother me as much. The dude just kissed the guy. Or just like, say you're sitting somewhere, You know what I'm talking about, about that like you took advantage of i've had a lot of problems in my life but one thing i've not had a problem with is depression So I've never had a problem where I needed someone to pick me up like that. So no

1:57:35 Stop you know wasn't like I was in danger yeah man i uh yeah i remember one time this dude was kind of flirting with me and i i kind of let Listen, how come... Yeah, I put on a Gene Simmons costume. You can't hold a man's hand because that's gay. hang on to it let's hold hands no i'm not into that bro yeah i'm into just a quick shake and How many seconds in?

2:00:26 Ready? Oh, you were born in Atlanta? Don't go anywhere. Okay. So what do you do? You still here. No, no, no. Don't go anywhere. I'd love to stay and hang out, buddy, but. I don't think. Like you ever have a buddy that's going through a hard time. Scientists have suggested a handshake Where the fuck is Dundee? three. Well, let's do it, man. We're friends.

2:02:56 See if it gets weird. But it's a strange thing. you want to be on the left side of them oh wow i'm pretty sure that pretty sure that's where it came from. We need to bring back swords, dude. Well, dude, I thought about this the other day. The U.S. president once shared a 19-minute handshake with Shinzo Abe and held Emmanuel Macron's hand for a full 29 seconds on a visit to France in 2017.

2:04:34 He shared a 19-minute handshake. Amazing handshake. I love your country. I love sushi. I like California rolls That's a long time, kid. Neil Brennan, A lot of people hmm and if you're dumb or something you don't you don't want more information You read. Who do you hang with in nashville And he's all, that dude is something else, man. What is like Tuesday, Wednesday?

2:07:18 So you get to see them And that cough button that's important I'm talking. The ghost of Ralphie Mae. The ghost of Ralphie Mae you know yeah like I baked bread inside. ever even knew an animal. Yes. like pie and shit when I go... I get a text from Kid Rock with my buddy Matt and Phil He owns a fucking church on his property. from Jimmy John's subs was there oh yeah Jimmy John's Jimmy John's a buddy of mine

2:11:35 Fucking insane amounts of money. They build something like this. Yeah. Oh you can get neutered in that bitch in one area He built a golden shower. Like when I walked out of there, I was like, I got to build a house. And while it's being built, he lives in a trailer, which is hilarious. He's always doing some fun stuff, so he'll invite you out. Yeah.

2:13:35 He's a real fucking dirt serpent Right? damn, his parents left him at the Grand Canyon, dude. It's not that big of a deal. Yeah. Woo. Like, there's a gas station that I found out here that sells tacos, and they're fucking bomb. They got a grill back there. Yeah, sorry. I can't be a pussy. I'll never forget that. that i don't know if i like it or not call burt burt's the master of knowing oh yeah he's the

2:17:08 I'm changing lanes. I know. Having them cheer And there's thousands And it's wild man And what is that, a rib cage? But look how many people are doing this. Burt's, his schedule, if you look at his. Did you feel scared? I get excited because I feel like I could like if you're successful and things are going too I've been coming here forever, and I love this town.

2:20:13 I don't think because I was flying people out to LA all the time like all those doctors and scientists and and and It's like, and if you're traveling two places, college and he's like the the other day a snake uh bobby lee sent me a snake in there which is Oh, my neighbor in Nashville, he coaches soccer at Lipscomb, you know, at a college. What are you sending him now?

2:21:53 It's just been interesting. And just everybody there is so nice. They're like, yeah, to have you like, hey, what's up, man? And they come to see you. something really wild and me laughing in the back of the room and then you laughing at us laughing to you like we see that with comedians you see that with some comedians that You're really doing your job.

2:25:08 If I go out and I see everybody's white and they're having a good time, it doesn't bother me. some of it turned into, like, this black supremacy thing, Movement of the 1960s and then through the 70s and the 80s and everything is like slowly getting better You're from India. especially based on something that they, But by the content of his character

2:27:37 racial biases and distorting them. And there's an incentive for them You got to keep doing that, right? Yeah. banging hoes and driving rolls oh they're driving fucking Bentleys yeah I They said the lineup sucked, even comics that have already had COVID wanted him to send in a vax card. Was it really? yeah that are important for comedy she's the most important ever that's not a comedian

2:31:21 like a complaint, she would laugh, like, Yeah. That's cool to hear, man. It was like one after the other. Diaz in a jumpsuit walking up there. He's music starts up. Neil Brennan. Jesselnick. It was like one after the other. Yeah, Joey's name. That was his name was Fat Baby. She loved him Look at that lineup. Pauly Shore, God damn. Wow, that is wild.

2:34:08 on the memorial voice there is and uh I mean, bro, even Jeff Scott's sister on there, everybody is dying. But that was like, dude, I just, that was common to me when it was like, it was just this safe space. Yeah. I heard they sat that close to the TV. No, don't let him up. in one night and people were so excited to see him um i just remember all it was just there was

2:37:12 We're in the middle of construction. Yes! Not think about it like some business where we're trying to, like, And then hopefully get as many people to move out here as I can. the uh of the group so uh listen we'd love to have you let's do it once once we're up and running i so thank you for having That place is My pleasure brother.