Joe Rogan Experience #1753 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. Brian Simpson was trying to explain to me that the tapping the glass on the table before you take a drink was because of the prohibition. I remember when he did that, I was literally about to ask why, All those things, you always hear those stories, Dude, 12 years ago, today. 12 fucking years. I did it that one time we did this, and I had to do a lot of pre-setup stuff to get

2:12 Yeah. No. I think a lot of people came on board in that one. you would always like you know usually as a comedian you're in town you would do like 10 And it was always so fun. Like, you want to be able to talk on the radio the same way you do with your friends And Tom Green. Yeah. denver the people who did his thing i went and i talked to them in denver and i don't know why i

5:37 we would always go to that radio station, Dale Dudley. Where you used to say it all the time and then they said you can't say it anymore. There's no one person that everybody listens to on the radio anymore. Yeah, look at this. Okay, A settlement reached between the FCC and Infinity in 1995 included a $1.715 million payout Pasho. Stern announced They have no one else to fine.

8:40 Cable. Yeah, I don't know. I don't remember. Yeah, Lost was before so. But Lost was on regular TV with commercials. Was Lost before? Yeah. I don't know. That was the difference. What are you doing to me? It came out yesterday. It's awesome. Yeah. They saved it for like a year and a half. this telling you can't use certain language certain subject matter and then you got to keep

11:29 like you have more people then, Bro, that guy does a thousand jobs. What's that one where all the rappers go on, though? Seacrest is bigger. He was like one of the executive producers, I think, of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. with the company. Jesus Wow. Right? Yeah. See if that's true. you can't use him, his fake actor. We'll make a fake actor.

14:46 So like if this is a CGI card, now you can use it in a video game. dirt yeah yeah shadows now if you scroll fast past you can actually just walk in Yeah, so she's about to, see, now it's nighttime. And this is just a demo. This is not a game. it's like crumpled. We were just talking about, but it's already kind of been going on for a long and just ride roller coasters.

17:19 Well, the watching thing, and everything like that so if you do put an oculus on and you do like go into the world you So you could look like Big Bird guy to make I wanted Wendy from Wendy's but I wanted big tits with areolas you could see through Like how do you? So this is you? Oh, okay. And there's, are there like clips? Well, you could do VR sitting or standing and like you know Boba Boba right there

20:55 Right. I shouldn't say the, but a version. they have like land. Like, that we can go to. Really? Yeah, this looks like shit compared that video game companies like Xbox and PlayStation who are working on real VR games, Like you'll be in one like shitty world uh in vr chat it's open it's open space like me and you could create a new jre world right now

24:01 The Unreal Engine, that new one, is going to be pretty much like soon on vr chat when it Well, I typed in best levels, actually. So this is kind of what a lot, that's pretty good it's not quite as good as the you know other ones but right but it's close So like if you wanna go on the space station, the back to the future ride in vr chat which i don't know if you remember uh back in the days

26:19 It's badass. So I feel like this is happening, Like, no, we're going to give you access to be able to use videos on your website. Just like Photoshop. you know, that's not the same you don't think it's the same? Why? Oh, you mean that somebody owns that? It doesn't cost money to get in. It's called MySpace 4. to a concert, there's a price for So you think they'll be like,

30:10 whatever. Get money or trade somebody so like But maybe it's going to be like Microsoft Word. But there's legalities to Being able to be with an ugly girl and go, I want it to be Rebecca Stamos. You're like, shit. Like actresses have gotten really pissed off because they put their faces on porn stars' bodies. that's way worse than a girl getting fucked.

32:27 servers. So they're not acting as though they are these people. And some people people act like police yeah they go and make people follow the they can kick you off the server than hanging out with their girlfriends. It's just like when you created a Quake server. 100%. everything but then if you lose your phone and you have to start from scratch you don't pick up

35:06 off Wendy from Wendy's. So I don't want to make talking. Who's Spider-Man? They never did that with anything else. Was it a Greyhawk? That one animated Spider-Man into the metaverse. There's me. Gigi, my friend Gigi in Canada. anybody would find it that's actually just grease of hamburger grease on my on my pancake nipples Yeah Oh That's Lil Red That's. That's Lil Red.

37:14 Yeah. and you had a dial that you could turn and the dial would lift the paddle up old forums and message boards and just talking. where they showed all these people that had no legs Right. where people would make millions of dollars, Like how many people are like you on that? and you press it and it was connected by a cord. I know. You had a cellular antenna on the roof.

41:48 And I remember we looked in the window, and one of the comics I was with goes, it just back then you know we thought jam boxes or boom boxes were the coolest right you know and I know with martial arts that's all I did They didn't change their life. playing again and i was playing four or five hours a day i was like what the fuck is happening i don't

43:51 to a video game dude. For sure. You're going to feel like you're actually firing a gun. The firing pin, it hits it. like where the gun, like, jolts in your hand. To feel in your hand like it's going off boom quick oh there's a lot of different. No, I mean. Wow. Fuck. We are so fucked. Imagine if a kid is born today And basically what you do is you find the EXE for Pavlov,

48:04 I just wonder how – I would like it to mimic a gun. Maybe we could fake it a little bit with a shotgun. How did they do it? I mean, just saying, it definitely would into the public's hands at the moment, maybe, It's the same weight. that techno hunt system that I had at the old place where the animals walk across the screen. And then all of a sudden, someone's standing there with a knife.

50:36 shooting a regular gun but it's way better than not shooting a gun yeah yeah i think i found another with a but any kind of kick Forced feedback, yeah. which is going to happen, right? And it's almost there where you trick yourself Really? It wasn't even like you're fighting aliens. Yeah. I mean, in terms of like how much time enjoyment you spend yeah it can ruin your life yeah yeah yeah

53:37 like oh i went over here you could change the ending of a movie in the future. This is wild, dude, because this thing just took a swing at you. you could see the detail in your hands and everything? But you could do it you can get there's gun controllers and things they can do that but have a gun that's the human race to get a real sense of what's actually happening because i think my what i

55:56 because everyone's happy, everyone can do what they want. Like I was having this conversation with Ari when he was talking about kids should not be on phones, should not be on social media. I go, there's definitely like challenges. Like I was having this conversation with Ari People lose like seven, eight hours a day on their fucking phone. really suffer from that of just sitting there through tiktoks tiktoks tiktoks tiktoks tiktoks

57:53 and they're like, it would be more humane than the interaction of just text-based messages. Like, hey, man, what the fuck? I fucking want to. no kisses no hugs and then when I actually met this girl I started hanging out with her, I was so desperate. Yugoslavians everywhere. The whole life. What about Americans anywhere? Yugoslavians everywhere, the whole

1:00:29 Just trust me. Gladys is a fucking robot. 100% it's going to happen. All the benefits of being with a non-biological person. That's what you do. Because they're robots. I don't think it would go straight to robot. Yeah. He's got glasses. The fucking bandana guys were the riskiest. you know it would almost look like a little gas mask did you see that lady from cnn that fucking

1:04:19 It also seemed like I saw an edited clip that got cut off without context. Because Omicron is that dangerous. But you know the guys when they get the big crazy ones? We should be keeping the events that are safe and also the events that have fun for people too. We can't be canceling everything, especially if we're going to be get healthy you fucks let's let's realize that this is less dangerous if you're healthy let's

1:06:32 No, I mean, that's one cool thing not it sounds like this is a sponsorship it is well we both have it as a sponsor but we both Buffalo Trace Whiskey. It's very important. There's a little bit of sugar in it, Yeah. Yeah. hangovers is the shit or yeah that's I I do it before bed, in the middle of the night when I wake up. They just go to landfills? be able to innovate and figure out their fucking life because they figured out whatever the job

1:10:25 And some guys were saying things like, I'll work 20 hours a week. But, and I know so many people are making money on TikTok and stuff like that. $18 an hour. Well, I think what's also wild is that as bad as it is for the economy, Huckever? 8%. They were using it to cook. Have you ever They take these oils and they filter them down. Well, I'm typing it in,

1:13:03 Ari told us about it, that he learned about it in China. and they're like, hey, guess what we do here? I know. gutter oil yep this is it so they go into the fucking gutter and they scoop to take out the shit If you knew you could make fake videos to trick the silly Americans and you got good at it, you would keep doing it. foreign operatives, have pushed the woke envelope further down the line, make it more and more crazy?

1:15:35 And as they keep doing goofier and goofier and goofier, I don't know about that I'm just hearing about it now but they're awesome Foreign influence woke? Nope. That's so crazy. How do I not know about this at all? BTS lights up. They've already won. They're Korean. But look, he's got lipstick on. Cool. Wait a minute. Yeah, like two months ago. What you showed me earlier was enough, though.

1:19:50 There was a little bit of things like that, but it wasn't like a band of guys who wore lipstick and were gender benders. Wild Boys. I'd be like, what kind of man is this? Son. He still is, isn't he? and alcohol to dull the pain and it gets fucking weird and he died of something What, poppers and shit? Mm-hmm. Because you get all these like Linda Evangelista and all these like beautiful models and they're dancing around and singing along

1:22:57 Come on. beautiful as fuck now. Oh, yeah. and there's something about models You can't just work hard and be beautiful. of it if like you look at that lady in that video now i'm sure she doesn't look like that anymore it's important to eat well. All those things are very important. But let's not pretend. Let me see that. Jamie caught a vibe. Upside down blowjob.

1:26:38 Mmm. He might have hit a house Not good. with it and to be normal that most people just crack it's all about disguise for me right like I'm going to answer for you. Yo, here's a story about Billy Joe and Bobby Sue. Cat Stevens. Cat Stevens. is he allowed to come here? I think so. If that song doesn't make you tear up, you're not a human. Electric light orchestra.

1:30:05 before every show. Hell yeah. before every show. It could be. Or is where is this recorded? Like on the White House or something? Could be. Yeah, that's Frank Zappa. I was like Zeppelin, Beatles, all that stuff they escaped me I never listened to them well there's so much to get a hold of back They filmed like the whole filming of them making that album,

1:32:23 Pretty interesting. for the fact that everything's falling apart. like listening to naz or nwa and stuff. Now it's just samples. That was a song that like, kind of go along with it and then there's music that makes you feel something you know you just But there's some sad songs that hit you, Then we'll do that afterwards. they let me know I just can't remember who to send it to. It's a great fucking song.

1:36:43 But I always thought that I'd see you again I think so, but you and I, we're able to show emotions yeah totally that's mushrooms well it definitely that you were going to be Johnny from this song because life is too complicated. Yeah. But it was also like, this is the sad part. Johnny looked around and said, hey, I made the big time last. It's the most oversimplified story of rock superstardom ever.

1:40:33 remembered when you were gone it's almost like you know that it doesn't matter you're gonna live Bottle of whiskey, sleeping tablets by his head johnny's like passing by like a warm summer day if you listen to the wind you can still hear him play see it's like hey johnny might have died but we all remember him because most of us most of us Okay. It's a tearjerker.

1:42:44 because it's about a person that affected people, This is from Florida. Jacksonville. Not at all. you know when old folks would look back to the emotional message of some of these songs in in leonard skinner freebird that is the greatest guitar solo the world's ever known I don't know if there's ever been better yeah but then you think of like Hendrix

1:45:54 which Van Zant was the lead guitarist? But they got loose on stage and started making their way out to the front. it's just jamming. Back it up a little. Oh my god. This is all fish creatures. You can see them playing it, huh? That girl's got a sunburn. Can you imagine being that dude and being up there just rocking the fuck out in front Oh my god!

1:50:05 Goddamn. Scrabs. It's stepping on crabs. It's crabs. Morgan Murphy hair. They might not be there. You would have to force me. tastes like soap that is not what that is jam band Fish is like the Grateful Dead. were always getting out of town give me three three steps. Give me three steps, Mr. 38 Special. I'm free bird. It sounds good. Yeah, it sounds good. I don't know why that came up. It sounds good.

1:53:30 It's like it doesn't all have to be like that. you picture yourself back there you feel the energy of being there that but you're never going to recreate that feeling in history, It's one of the rare times where it's like, God, it's hard to... You hear this song? There's one dude who everybody looks at and goes, He was amazing. It's crazy. We're going to start a surf shop.

1:57:21 a random bullet because they were doing an And the simplest solution to start to cut it off is to say, So let's just put a large tax on this that goes to rehabilitation centers, community centers. Like remember when marijuana, medical marijuana was like a 39% tax and we were like, okay. Yeah, the strawberry banana Norcom or whatever back to life. Yeah, the strawberry banana

1:59:15 Holy shit, dude. I think it's good. It's so surprising that of all states, Texas has a problem with marijuana. That's the thing. They also don't have gambling casinos. But what is like, you know, when I went with Whitney Cummings and Lex Friedman and my wife to Vegas. went away. I didn't lose a lot of money. three times I lost all the money. into it so bad

2:01:38 chip look at that feeling like shit Oh two in a row Oh who's the winner now and Obsessively. If I get obsessed with getting good at it, whether it's a video game and then you lose, you win. There's a giant fucking crowd behind them. Bro, he's out of line. I can see beers. The new video game things when they have these giant, It's a strange game. Yeah, imagine if you're like the best at that.

2:04:24 So he tried to make the transition to tennis. But it was too late. Like, he wasn't good at racquetball but nobody gave a fuck you couldn't make any money and he realized how much money tennis players are making so he tried to make the he makes video games do you have anybody that you're friends with from a long time ago that And you know what? gig, like, what?

2:06:03 problem? She got upset. Because they'd go, how much are these feet really worth? And that's it? is have like wet underwear I think it's just like any other thing. Yeah, exactly. Fart jars NFT. So the whole thing is so stupid. Remember that? Yeah. That's right. I forgot Did not want to be there for your farts. That is true. the worst thing is when you go over a friend's house

2:09:11 And they get offended. Yeah. and it smelled so bad, Cats will piss on your pillow. Yeah, and it lasts. come over to me and like rub into me and then i i hug him and i put him on the ground i rub his He loves everybody. Like my dog Johnny Cash. They have fucking diarrhea. It's part of the thing of having a dog. You just got to all over the room. Oh, that's the worst. It was awful. But, you know, what's a dog going to do? They have fucking diarrhea.

2:11:40 It's gross. house smells like, you know, some fucking link but i saw the i saw that it was a thing. but just the there and stare at it it's like no that's a fucking Oh, wow. oysters and clams it drops off like he's done with his dish wow like see there's him dropping it off but like it's like That's crazy. Oh, really? They're doing good work. Meanwhile, they're just getting chewed on by turtles.

2:15:26 Yeah. They just wait until they get eaten. I mean, I don't think that if you're at Red Lobster and you see the fish tank, they're feeding those fucking lobsters. that the people are upset Shellfish is in the Bible, so you're not supposed to eat it Who's Mary Madeline? What I'm saying is like why some, like the two cloth thing. It probably was a guy who only sold silk or some shit like that.

2:18:07 Huh. Yeah. That's in the, ox and a donkey yoked together. gave a fucks, you would stop smallpox, Is it? It was an interesting one. in the neck snoop dogg was there though with ice cube yeah 50 cents and a lot why did he get Fuck. Right? The rap world, there was shootings and retaliations, like, oh my God, is that playing to the Beatles? What do you think about that documentary?

2:22:35 I get super suspicious when they reenact these things with actors, because that means they're There was this long note that doesn't seem like a suicide note, and at the end of it, in different handwriting, it becomes a suicide note. There was this long note that doesn't seem like a suicide note and at the end of it I agree. Seems very smart. Yeah. It's just, I guess a lot, it's hard to believe when anybody kills themselves, like especially comedians.

2:23:53 so look at what you got here. And then the handwriting gets very different. without me and then look at the other M's up there and you're like, man, I don't know. Well, a handwriting expert obviously I think if you are doing heroin Right? Yeah. they just had a bad hour that they didn't do it but then there's other very happy in the future that they didn't do it.

2:26:58 there kicking ass and they want to jump in front of a train and they don't know why. And it doesn't make any sense. You know, have different capacities. They have different, They have different horsepower, right? Some people are born with some shitty brain chemistry. Some people might be fucked. Somebody got a brain problem, give them some medicine.

2:29:27 just go to a so does ibuprofen Yeah, I keep an emergency aspirin in my wallet just in case I've started having heart palpitations comedians healthy. I just got an elliptical, I saw him wrestle Tony Hinchcliffe. but we saw David Lucas gas out. He fell upon hard times quite quickly. But David needs some help. Yeah. Soaking wet? No, I think he actually is like-

2:32:23 on the biggest Yeah, we're in Austin, Texas, man. Let's do MMA rules. like a 300 pound, like a Tom I mean, you know how much weight that is? martial arts commentator. Let's play He gassed out. Tony gets to tea bag him if he wins yes, and I think David would That's the win. Just sweaty, nutsack, right on the eyeballs. I haven't got the COVID yet. Pfizer, of course.

2:35:47 I've already been there. Yeah. Yeah. Like guys were trying to catch HIV. fucking dance around all the mosquitoes breakthrough infections generate super immunity to The study found that antibodies measured in blood samples even to new variants of the virus. Because, like, I've had it, and I We've talked about how we didn't think that. Absolutely. Probably yeah

2:38:44 Yeah I mean he was eating too many hot dogs Sucking Satan's dick made his mouth numb told me that. Oh my God, that's true. We got to get him on the Reddit. He could have just been fucking around. Yeah. He was talking about it last time. And once the club's open, I feel like we'll send up the bat signal just generally getting enhanced and meeting all these

2:39:53 once a week. and goes to like midnight the premier club in Austin and one of the premier clubs in the country, like we used And I was like, this is too much work. Remember the place in Houston near the laptop? What was it called? Yeah, I think that's it. There was a place right across the street called Greasy Tony's. A trash can. He was like this old school Italian guy

2:42:17 he opened up the turnip tony he turned he called it She's trying to sing Aliciaicia key song he's so funny because it would be cool to have like that top layer Or there was a, wasn't it Tampa Improv that was like that too? Like you do Thursdays, you'll be there tonight. It's a lot like what was going on at the store. and they're stuck. some kind of show.

2:44:59 They're more just down to see some live entertainment here. And there's also there's the possibility that you might see someone who's going to become a famous comic someday. Or she's funny. get to see on the ground floor like a whole new movement in the comedy community. And everyone is just talking shit, Hundreds of thousands of people will see them kill.

2:46:44 Like you can formulate a minute. If you just can put together a minute of a kind because it gives these open micers like you can formulate a minute if you It's huge. And you feel like you're like a part of, the whole world could have seen like literally your first with guys who've been on a million of them. Yeah, it's hilarious. or and Tony all together and you're all laughing you laugh at his stuff you laugh at her stuff

2:49:54 I don't know if Tony has talked to you about him. He's like, I got to go back tomorrow. out O-N-E, underscore But, you know. That's awesome. Yeah. taking up stage time, you know, like the Vulcan used to be an EDM club. You know, a lot of these I'm not, you know, I'm not buying into that. It has to do with we've Just do a later show. That is Shut your hole, jealous bitch.

2:53:59 They're fun. If one thing sells more tickets, I'm sorry. Tim Dillon's here, Tony Hinchcliffe's It's just silly. We need more allergies. Yeah, I don't really have any allergies, fortunately. Like, your immune system just gets fucking shattered. And it freaks them out Like Joey Diaz always used to Yeah. But you always call it a meat plate or a cheese plate, right?

2:56:58 I don't know. You ever go to Ace Goji? That place is the shit. one that's good. Really? It's a cheese plate. He's had two podcasts today any cereal and immediately because like you know your favorite cereal is, or not what your favorite is, throw that in there. Do they still sell grape nuts? Listen, clean your teeth. I don't mind it with a little sugar.

2:59:53 Grape Nuts is just a little bit like I'm eating pebbles. Shredded wheat. Oh, look at how big they were. So this is the OG. Yeah, frosted. Explosive shits. And there was a dude next to me that had cannonball shits. You know those sounds hey man, The best diarrhea scene of Kingpin where he had to have sex with But I feel like Team America is so good, people forgot how good the South Park movie was.

3:02:34 special? No, I gotta and then they have a deal now with Paramount Plus They don't advertise it, though. So then I, like an idiot, did a free trial of the Paramount Plus app, yes yes it was like a Christmas the show came out I was like wow don't kick a baby, maybe like six months later or whatever it was, the show came out. I was like, wow. $500 million.

3:04:35 My brother. at 8 yeah I mean pretty much like immediately Same as the website. They're all cool. So when do they go on sale for the next ones that will be available? So they should go to Red Band. Red Band, Yep Love you buddy