Joe Rogan Experience #1758 — Carrot Top Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. I follow you on the Instagram. where you kind of reenact a scene from movies, No, you definitely do. A lot of people do that and have done a lot of radio. That is bizarre. Dude, you. But for years and years, I mean, from, from the very, very beginning, which is kind of funny, you being a comic, but I started in Florida. you were a whipping boy yeah you know what it's like? It's like Nickelback.

2:43 It was, you know. We just did a great show. Who was it? You have a good show. Who cares about your peers? I guess they're finally like, You became so successful as a prop comic I'm going to take over all the abuse that I took. meets me for lunch Yeah, well, I think we've made up since, I think. of gallagher i used to always say um it's not the watermelon that's he's a really brilliant

5:55 Why didn't you steal the smart stuff, the words, it was a shoehorn it was like rip rip taylor kind of like a hey it's a butterfly it's butter with So it's not just me holding up a, it's not a word, play word. Yeah. McFarlane says, dude, no, this is, people's fucking great. Right. So they were right I just I just road and live on a tour bus and that and then they they offered the gig, I was very reluctant because I was my road guy. And so I would do, you know, the road and live on a tour bus and that.

9:00 So I said, I'll do two weeks at a time. like booths psyched for the show by buffet going i get a carrot top ticket and whatever check it out how long you've been doing You have fucking Teller, right? You know, Penn is a super interesting guy. Yeah. Do you like doing like weekends? you know I took my opener sometimes you forget that kind of stuff And it seems to be easier to kind of throw in new jokes every night because you're not –

11:28 and fuck around at the fucking Luxor a week do you work How the hell I drug all that shit everywhere. let's say we're here in Austin, I did that way back. And a club owner came up between two shows. And he goes, and the snow came to his, whatever the joke was. yeah and then he said I love that well that's good so like when you go on the That's nice.

13:34 I do like six nights a week, take a day off on Sunday, and then I do like on average three He worked at NASA, the space center. Yeah. Yeah. Also, this is a respiratory virus. didn't want to do it and you know chris angel didn't want to do it no one wanted to go back And it was only 100 people allowed. 40 feet between you and them? And I know. Yeah.

17:12 They're still allowing people to do shows, one knew what was going on it was a little scary yeah people didn't have any idea what was happening Right. Hey, you want to do some drive-in theaters? Yeah the fuck so Honk. See, I'm terrified of that. it was like a chance Yeah, it makes sense. he'll come knocking. He says, man, that, so I'll tell you what happened.

19:56 Let's just go back to the hotel. And he's like, did you just steal money out of the cash register? like we didn't we just wanted to exchange numbers weird right I thought we took money out of the Those college gigs were always weird, man. than this so yeah it was like a crate. And I was like, what do you mean I even have, No, theater you know it's weird that you do one in the cafeteria and then an hour later you're in a big

23:09 I said, I'm already. of all people that I did that to, it was the president of NACA. Yeah, but Guy shouldn't be the president No, this is early on. I don't think I would do a college now. there's worse shit coming, take it easy. that was great, the fucking gay mousetrap thing, right? Well, you can. Right. Just joking around about something, you're hateful. Right, right, right. Just joking around about something, you're hateful.

25:58 They kept showing the people that are against it. It's essentially like it's a long love letter to a friend of his that killed herself. but I think it's because about that but I think it's because... Let's talk about that. But I think that's because, look, he's the most beloved comedian of our time. move on to other subject matters. It's interesting. It's not right.

28:06 One every fucking week, he'd have another hour special, which was always amazing to me. I know, but I'm saying, because he didn't give a shit. Oh, what happened? And then apparently a bunch of people were saying, He's a really, really sweet guy, Right. He's not. I mean, I know him very well. He's a fucking fantastic person he's not that's not him he's just

30:29 If you're a sensitive person, those are the ones that are going to stand out. Trace Atkins? Buffalo Trace Atkins. That's real shit. It's America right there. It's not my hotel. Fill your pillowcase up. You can't go, what is that? Better, right? No, this is great. Until today? This is good. Did you travel here? because I don't walk in fear. Literally. What made

33:05 Like, I'd go three hours a day, literally. And I was like, what the fuck? I was 135, 140 my whole life. to karen time they've always said that but that is a thing though when you get really jacked on I said, this is great. I do comedy six nights a week, I want teeth on my shoes. And he goes, that was you. So we came up with it. So you're making this up.

35:52 His impression of Gene Simmons is so bad. He goes, but the Menon thing. said sure so it takes me to this huge wing of his house I mean literally it's And I said, I don't want to, this is going to come across completely fucking wrong. heard of kiss I said no I see I knew you take it the wrong way I said I just I I And that's why I said, I'm fucking with you.

38:03 This fucking accent. She had no idea But I met her three times I don't know, but she did it like three times. relief with him right it was like everybody was there rob williams and then it would be goldberg I make my way over to him. And he goes, I'm sorry, I don't know. from Defending Your Life, he's just being a cunt. you're in comedy. that's an honor

40:15 he said Carrot Top believe it or not he used to do props everybody laughs and I'm thinking not only is that accurate if American Airlines lost its luggage, you wouldn't have an act. Everybody laughs. I told him that because I'm sorry. there was always a thing and then they would go on stage I don't know why. and then you have rock, and then you have jazz, and you have this,

42:24 We can have a Dennis Miller, and you can have a Joe Rogan. You don't have to go. There's lots of stuff to be upset about. But I mean, some of the stuff, How much you get? I got to find you one of these. itself and i believe that elvis was the first guy to take a heroic dose of fame you know like hicks There's a great, I wouldn't say great, well, this is a documentary, or it might have been

44:30 Carrot Top gets high. Well, good. Elvis he goes on stage he's sweating You see his face, and he literally takes a moment. is a but before we get to Bill Hicks is like no one was like that before him It was a different kind of star. You're red. Yeah, yeah. Fuck, who knows? Once you get past a certain amount, it doesn't feel like anything different. here and then i got accustomed to it and then and then i realized one day i was like sitting on the

47:58 so you can go to dinner and not worry about what things cost. you're dressed like a homeless guy. One little hit. One little, I wouldn't even know. It the way, that's great weed. That's not bad, right? I only took one, like you saw, right? One little hit. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. So Bill Hicks. Yeah. And so he was sick. tell him that he was in the running

50:04 what was the award Don American Comedy Awards everybody off because you got Bill Hicks. What was the award? but I remember those two. She says, you know, And Colleen says, come with me real quick. He says, no, I wanted to come clear the fucking thing. because Bill Hicks gave me the blessings. And he's a comic and he's like, you know what? And look, I have good friends that do it to me all the time.

52:39 People are communicating with each other on social media. I'll say something like, I thought you'd never leave. We love each other. You can have like the least charitable interpretation of something and it's always going to cause a problem. You know, it's like communication one-on-one is the only way that human beings are really supposed to be talking to each other.

54:17 said that about floor you say they should build a wall around yes so this And I love how Florida responded to the pandemic. Well, here's the thing i saw a lot of can make a really good argument that they did the right thing. I think Gene Simmons What is mine? and the guy's like, I was going to say, who did that one? I've and they say Dick Wolf show

56:36 So you know his stuff. I had Queen came to the show. It was after Freddie died? oh no there's no one like there's no there's no front man i don't think that that if you go back But Queen came. I know is like well So anyway, he comes back and he's like, he was just hoping my Roger Taylor impression This is years ago. must stay at the house i said no we're not gonna stay at the house we're gonna get a hotel but we'd

59:09 hey, I have to go back to go to sleep. Just no clue. It's fine. So we, we get there and it's, it's not only a castle, it a castle it's like downton abbey it's fucking crazy right so my girlfriend's looking at me like And it was just unbelievable. And we walk by all this Queen records, gold shit records, the whole fucking house, just records and records.

1:00:48 from that album, On my life, Roger's like, And what does he bring for a guest? well, this fuck you must. I go, no, I had to take it. they can't be nicer and sweeter and bigger fans. they think what we do is like how the fuck drums and then started playing drums in a local band started doing gigs and then eventually moved Because my dad worked that they take into the like the cockpit and shit

1:03:20 It's one of the things that's most fascinating about being a person Your passion. That's funny. What the fuck? It's not guaranteed. I got very lucky in the timing of when everything hit That's what I'm saying. I don't think that Or doing something That's my I think it was like, it might have even been like New Year's Eve. and we're flying into Vegas

1:06:14 I don't want to throw and he has like, bad weather we're just we're bouncing around like so bad, right? This is, fuck, if I, he goes, He really said that? Two unknowns. I asked to be on, because I've done the show with him since, He's like, one? I mean, I know the hood is there and the trunk. So for me, it's like. A lot? and I had you on this is funny

1:09:03 the cage Right. badly beaten. he goes, Carrot Top. And I kept saying, don't hurt my friend. It was great though for me. Just leave him alone Been to it live before In your head You know what's going on. It's like that with NASCAR, too. but the the calculations and the people and the number crunching and the shit happening during But it's funny how people think of NASCAR as dumb,

1:11:46 she had her blinker on the whole time. That would be fun. They would have to make the cars much more protected, but if they did that. Please. through so they called me literally like four in the afternoon i'm in charlotte and they said you 90 or 89, 80 something. And I remember the Braves were playing and he says, all my fucking shit that was, So I look over.

1:14:29 I remember he's just being oh Dennis wants you just like, and call waiting Because I was going to get it out of the way for him. But they tossed it. And it went like, oh. I said, okay. And he says he opened for me. And he's had the school wrong, Notre Dame or something. And he did, you know, I said, I couldn't have gone long go long so anyway finally he's like whatever just you know what let it go dude i'm like again i want

1:18:13 He says, you know what's really going to ruin my night? I said, see, tell your dad that I'm okay. I hope he didn't have a car with a ramp. It's like they don't necessarily jive. I had a guy with dog, So you had an act with dogs? and this is brilliant shit. Muffy so-and-so. No, that was different. And he says, well, it's up, motherfuckers, right? telling really funny, dirty jokes.

1:20:59 That's brilliant. I think it was Bruce Block, I think his name was. I met Dennis Miller. I go, oh, okay. he'd remember this. And next to Casey Kasem, this is not a joke. caught my eye i was like what the fuck and fuck? And then I see Casey Kasem. He's laughing so hard. And he's like, come here. And he's like, Hey, yeah, Just politically incorrect days?

1:24:41 something right something along those lines and people got very, very, very upset, ridiculous, leftist sort of censoring views. That's me. That's what I think. And that we all need some social programs. The world needs them. I don't know if they're doing it because they've thought it through, if they're doing it because Yeah, well there's a whole bunch of writers.

1:27:11 if it was like There's nothing wrong or something my dad's like what do you want i said i don't know coke and a hot dog he says the line When you saw the launch, did you wonder It was on the talk radio I used to listen to. And I think she had gone to school. So I turned on TV and I was like, holy fuck. When there's a tragedy and you see a video of it, you're like, is this real?

1:29:56 Dress it was a disco party and they're shitting all over the way. He was dressed. I think he looks great billion dollars today I only say that because I've got a follow-up question. Okay. What's with the Honda? First of all, he's fucking jacked. There's nothing wrong with that. that same dorky guy in the honda and now he probably oh wow you're right that wow yeah he's

1:31:58 If he was a rapper and he was doing that, everybody would be like, fuck, yeah, look There's nothing wrong with it. He's a nerd, yeah. They chrome, like Justin Bieber out of chrome. But the point is, it's like, you know, like Jeff, Jeff Bezos is successful. I like it. so I could know for sure. I think they're He said it was a bike, but it had a jet engine on it.

1:34:07 I said, well, how fast does this go? Why do you need a jet bike to go through L.A.? How would you just have so much money? I'm just, I'm can you go on a jet? Why do you need a jet bike to go through LA? I asked him, his assistant, Helge, I said, yeah. That's the one I wanted to see. Yeah, probably. It's the most expensive car he has, according to the article.

1:35:40 I still like the Cannonball Run. That's the cheapest car. It does look like it's going backwards. I would actually drive it backwards just to fuck with people. That has no windshield. He's fine. He doesn't need a fucking windshield. But if you're going 180 miles an hour and you hit a bug, is're a dead man. Just a bug. I like this. He's too rich. He doesn't need a fucking

1:36:59 That's what it is. They just took the picture Look up Joe Rogan's 1969 Nova. It was released recently keep scrolling like right there right there where you're clicking on right there right there so that is what it looks like now so that's like but see look no side Oh, my God. Dude, whatever you eat. My friend Jonathan Ward That's a 48. But they specialize in a lot of these really cool old...

1:39:25 So you go really old. I like the black one, actually, more than I like the... four different Restomods of car. But I agree with you. He lives in Vegas. Scroll up. Look at that green. That's beautiful. I want to say they're in, they might be in Detroit. I like these when they take an old car, but they put all new underpinnings. Resto mods. takes it like many many many levels past where a normal person would take it and he does these

1:42:12 Go to that black one on the far... Yeah. There's something about those old cars. Do you have a guest spot set? You could stop in somewhere. Yeah, Brad Garrett's a good friend of mine. He's got a brand new club. No, it was a great club, but now Yeah yeah To the new one And it was great Way back in the day. you can't not announce him. Yeah, yeah. He's the thing, a little seat. So I said, Brad Garrett. And he talks like this. Yeah, yeah.

1:44:36 That's not bad. He couldn't have been nicer. In the upper right. Yeah, that's what's on their site. you say uh so you can't you can't, you probably know this. 10 mile zone? Have you ever worked Reno? In fact, one time we were talking about shooting a special or something. Jack Johnson defended his heavyweight title. That's when we started comedy. It was 110 degrees outside, and they had a 45 round fight. 1910. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Dude,

1:47:35 Jim Jeffries, he went into training camp for six months for this fight because he had taken many years off of fighting, And so he lost 100 pounds to get down to weight. fighting and lost a ton of weight and uh did he got in shape no no jack johnson fucked him up jack Yeah, it's so bizarre. I'm going to say, let's take a guess. $29.25. Pretty fucking good. is it, Jamie? $29.25.

1:49:42 something at the time the video That's a pretty good guess. the amount of money that they print every day They just throw in money. How much I get paid. So it's not, I mean, we've always been overprinting money. Yeah, you know, like you negotiate a certain amount. Seriously. They're a hoot. That's my Gene Simmons doing it. I suck at impressions. Just that word, huge.

1:52:25 I do a bit in the show where I go, one thing I liked about when he would do speeches and Yeah. they're kind of like, I mean, I try to stay in tune, in a sense. They want to see a walker with a dildo on it. line. Like, people who just do political Last special? Yeah, it was pretty funny. I mean, it was pretty fucking funny his last special yeah it was pretty funny i mean it was a lot of politics talk it was all politics yeah but it was it was well done and what's his name too that black lewis black yeah

1:54:11 or whatever and they give it to us is they get their information before he blew up 20 people in there Well, he is now. Black, or, you know. how do you have time for anything? Tight 5 and Dennis Miller teases you going long. There is going to be a show that I can go to. This show causes me to drink and smoke more than I have any idea. I mean, it's tough, though.

1:57:05 So really, an hour special is a half hour because he always says, these people are great. like fucking the writing and the delivery and just everything. he has guys he works with where he pays them to watch a set and then they go over the material they'll say, when you're doing that, here's what I thought. do his stuff and then he'll have like a couple of guys will come he used to do that when he was

1:58:38 But if you're working on it like that, where you have a group of guys, He did take a break. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it took him a couple of... it's always a week it's always the second show but you think he's i'm gonna what are you doing or even his instagram he's like i'm gonna sit down and i'm Doesn't work. Like Larry Miller used to write commas. I was in a movie with him

2:01:21 in the movies, So we go to the dailies in the trailer and they start watching the dailies. And there's one scene where Larry Miller literally just goes like that. doing little things as opposed to big things. And it was amazing how different. He made And even if you say, you know, the night my dad died, I came and said, this is a weird night. or maybe it's just because it's me.

2:03:14 and everybody was like, you know, And this is maybe six, seven years ago. you do? And I said, oh, I'm a singer. I'm a rapper or something. And she goes, oh, that's, I can't Do you remember filming with me? Oh, you met Rickles. an Indian guy like you know we got to figure, because we're trying to, you know, a great scene, too. I was like, fuck, that was a great

2:05:58 Yeah, the hubcaps are gone. there's like that what do you call that, Kevin Bacon separation thing. I'm having dinner, and my agent says to me, I'm having dinner with him, and he says, you should go say hi to Don Rickles. So I said, Don, hey, Don, care to hop? Well, it's too late now. You've already ruined my dinner, classic classic classic Don Rickles where Sinatra he was eating dinner and

2:08:13 Look at the way he dressed back then. Oh, I played Jerry Fail or someone else. Really, I'm going to... Yeah, all of them. Hey, Frank, it's good to see you. And I get that you Look at their boots guido says hi he has a little chance to talk to you Look how these microphones, right? I used to blow in girls' ears and hear you go, And I suppose it's my way.

2:11:29 and I... I love you. expresso and I finally he went back and I stop by the table? I said, all right. I was just about finished. I was down to the espresso. But YouTube fucks it up with those big screens in the bottom. So Billy Crystal, again, I'm going to mess this up. And anyway, big, huge Billy Crystal fan. for like 1130, gets up, goes down, gets dressed, goes down to the club, walks into the comedy

2:14:25 And they play – they walk him off. And he's like, I the mic and he goes, fuck this shit. And they play, dun-dun-dun-dun. They walk him off. watch the days before social media you couldn't get anybody to come see a show and you can get them, You hear glasses clink He's Oh, yeah. who knows where the art form of stand-up comedy But Richard Pryor was the first to talk like personally about himself

2:16:45 And then there's one, Richard Pryor. It's right up there I'm telling you, and I think the movie did okay, who put gonna get the keys it's just Not long. Put the highway. because it just starts how long have they been doing comedy Because if you think comedy movies, That's, what, 30s? Yeah, 30s or Supers, 33. 30 I love the Marx Brothers, yeah. That's what, 30s?

2:19:23 Michael, he was Batman, right? It's just great about this. It's weird. Because, you know know everyone in vegas You saw that? I think you're going to... hey, the gauge says we're overheating. This is What's the matter with the doors? hood i thought it would be safe you on this side stand over there what fool closed the window that I wonder, too, like you said, like, especially with movies and comedy and all that, you have to really.

2:22:26 about what's funny and what's not, too. Right? did you tell Bill Cosby? People thought that there was rules And then he went on to this whole different thing that was so inappropriate. sure even even network television is kind of like yeah because well because of cable and because of he says, say fuck, The owner's telling you this? That's the whole joke

2:24:56 But there's some You can't say Glad we got to hang out. If people want to see you in Vegas, what's the best way they can buy tickets? Oh, there we go. Yeah, Carrottop.com. Okay, so CarrotTop.com, and then Instagram. I appreciate it, man. Bye, everybody.