Joe Rogan Experience #1794 — Monty Franklin Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. I never get it. I love it. walking around and stuff. It's a strange place. I enjoyed the time that we were there, but I'm glad that we're I mean, if anybody's going to compromise. He probably got COVID 20 years ago and he's had it that whole time or something. I wonder if there's, I mean, no, I was going to say Hawaii, I'm in the restaurant. I don't have to wear a mask. I'm in the gym. I like well cut the i'm in the i'm in the restaurant i don't have to wear a mask i'm in the gym i do like where's the logic tell me what because i'm breathing harder

2:53 And not only that, you're wearing this surgical mask. Right. It doesn't work. What is the point of that? Maybe people spit in his face a lot. That's like a cat that hides under a table, but you can still see his tail. It's like closing your eyes as a kid. I mean that is one of the more preposterous things that people have just accepted during this pandemic.

5:29 Oh, do you remember those boats chasing him? Most people are not prepared. This is like deep enough into the pandemic that there was already data on outdoor passing of the virus. Yeah. so they've gone on to another show. but that wasn't that bad for me either. You probably had Delta. And then the next day I was negative. Yeah. I don't know how the health system works here, and I don't know what I've got.

7:56 You married an American. Yes. Like they were, you know, doing. that I don't I don't know anybody else but you Yeah, for the O-1 and the green card combined, I spent about $20,000 to live here in the land of the free. but it was just easier for me to go back home. Do people still fax? Is that correct, Jamie? and it just says my name, and it's Click, there's my fake signature.

11:01 They're actually getting pictures of PDFs to each other. and now I'm starting to shy away from that Yeah. Particularly if I'm doing a job, an acting job or something, And they go, that was my story. It's great. like royally cancelled. Right. don't want to accept it. Especially if some people have some distorted versions of what happened with you. because we had a conversation about it

13:38 and they'll look at a police lineup and be sure that this is the guy that did it to him they withhold evidence, they hide data, they find out that there might be something that could exonerate you. And when you talk with a guy like Dubin who does this work with the Innocence Project and regularly frees people. Because of the pressure that the podcast put on these

15:44 say oh these are your teeth he's like hey there is someone and they say oh, these are your teeth He's like, it's not. Putting it up to the thing. I mean, they get what they want. So they eat all these leaves and they're sitting there. It is. Completely. You could buy kangaroo in supermarkets in Australia. They're everywhere, man. was a television show in Connecticut or Pennsylvania. I forget. But there was a television show in connecticut where or is it pennsylvania i forget

18:57 Same with kangaroos. They're jacked. Jacked. Yeah, steroids. punching each other in the face. But what they do They're kind of funny. That guy got off light. It seemed like he had him in there for a good 10 seconds of that video. I think it's real. He's probably like half sure of what he's doing while he's doing it. You know Eddie Yift? And he starts walking, because he's like,

21:30 Oh, really? Where are they? That's where all the populated areas are. And I drove all around it two, three times. Do you know that? And they got out of control, and it was a problem and stuff. Really? I knew that just from, you know, the- what was that show? It seems terrible. and I felt terrible being there. and that was a tiger thing. It's fucking weird because they have uh different age tigers and so when

24:56 And in that one, you've got guys with sticks, and they're keeping the tiger away from you. Like, who's, are you watching? And the big tigers It's like a Disneyland-type place, and I worked in a hot dog stand killing it, They weren't drugged, no. I heard it's awesome. It was pretty cool. It seems like a happy place. they're that style of standup fighting is one of the best standup fighting

27:31 I don't know. the hills in the middle is very, very different. Well, a lot of those places have been so touristified, right? Like Hawaii got crushed. No, they did not. You know, there's nobody there. state where you like the person a man from flor Florida doing something is like, oh, of course he's from Florida. Dude, an alligator yesterday cannibalized a giant alligator, cannibalized a six foot

30:57 out look at the size of this fucker and he's got a six foot one oh that's still alive in his mouth Did they say how big he is? Oh my God. He's 20 feet. 20 feet? What? What's that to stop? Hey, if they've lasted from the dinosaurs, they've done something. Like, whoa. which is they grab you by the teeth like that and then roll down and down and down and down,

33:07 And you're like, yeah, I want that 200-year-old. And they're like, hey, why don't you try this? Apparently, it's delicious. Of course it's not. Yeah, yeah. That's his website. You know that guy? Yeah, yeah. a lot gained from cooking because the protein becomes more bioavailable. Like eating raw meat It's kind of funky, but you cook it and you can eat it.

35:51 you cook it and season it. That's the whole deal, man. Well, Ian Edwards is a vegan. Well, actually, she started eating a bit of red meat and stuff because the doctor said, That's the real life Popeye. him is normal sized like look at his head is normal sized. His neck is normal sized. But his fucking Go back to that. Try and wipe your ass with a baseball glove and tell me.

38:31 Look at that beer. his hands. I mean, it's just a genetic role. You know, some people have big noses. Some people Oh, my God. But just but what's strange is that the other parts of him aren't proportionately large like I don't know biggest feet are Look at him. I mean, I don't want to fixate either. Yeah, that looks kind of weird. It's just his legs look weird because the rest of his body is so enormous.

41:14 I wonder if that's a real guy in there, like a skeleton. How old was the statue? He ain't clicking that thing. What does that look like? which had been on loan from the Drents Museum in the Netherlands to the state-of-the-art hospital in the hopes that the modern medical technology I don't think they did, man. Just leave And say his name now. Now it's known the tests have revealed a surprise. The monk's organs had been removed and replaced with scraps of paper printed with ancient Chinese characters

44:16 Yeah, you go and do a CT scan of you. into revered living Buddhas. Monks interested in self-mummification spent upwards of a decade Eschewed. What is that word? Pervade? No. where he was They're not really good. He stopped. It was 1,000 B.C., wasn't it? that the Buddha bailed on. I'm not a fucking quitter. Well, there's the Buddha who is like thought to be the root.

48:50 That's no stomach at all. Maybe some of it's muscle. See, that looks like real ribs. I'm going 26. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 12 pairs. That fucking guy had like 50. That guy probably- He's got too many. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17. buddhist monk thing the suffering thing is a strange thing i have i had a friend who became

51:36 and doing this time at the temple. He swept up at a temple. But, like, he would only eat vegetables, He didn't have a wife or a boyfriend. I don't think that was it, but it was that kind of thing. he when he became a monk and we would go visit him it was very it was very strange we go to eat with him you you know it's like we we weren't in a position

54:21 And he was hanging around a bunch of teenagers? It didn't seem, like happy is like you're around someone, He was done. Bullshit. You know how monks fuck pillows, Like they've gone to a remote island in Indonesia and they just surf and, you know. guys look forward to is the wintertime when they become trappers and they go to If I'm working on the road, it's a full weekend of, you know,

57:15 and sit in the food court and just put music on No, you can't. and I was working for the company that built all the sets. This was when I was young. movie the batman have not heard it's awesome unbelievable really oh my god everything about And he thought, that's interesting. But they did it so well and brought that into the character of Batman. That was the first one that I saw.

1:00:04 I like the fake voice. No. I'm Batman. I's the best part about it? No. I like the fake voice. Yes. Is Gerard Butler, and that's it. from Gladiator? Nah, he's a Kiwi fat yeah and he didn't even do it for a role he just goes he just got fat i think he was always If he's working his way up to being enormous. Glad he had it back. Maybe. He just did that, and then he goes, hey, I'm going back.

1:02:29 was just you know powerful dude Look at him right there. Oh does he? It's like A hipster team No, hipsters are posers. There was hippies and then there was people that were hip. Have you been watching Marvelous Miss Maisel? He does a very good job, whoever that actor is. Yeah. bitch? Yeah, the kids just go I think she's got great delivery. Didn't Robert De Niro do one?

1:05:27 Oh, there you go. That's it right down there. See that? Lower right-hand side with the girl. Yeah played a comedian. The comedian. Yeah, that's it right down there. But I just assume Robert De Niro does good work. Yeah, Sally Field and Tom Hanks. It's interesting to watch. If they're giving you millions, writing for her So they're not going to go The Daily Show yeah really funny but Jon Stewart is a great comic himself so when

1:07:49 My opinions and the way that I – even my experience and everything are different. I'd like to write for Bill Burr. He's going to come after you now. And you know Remember when he did Saturday Night Live He said everything that he should have. John Belushi and who was the woman that he would call It wasn't Jane Curtin. He was amazing. They were making fun of it.

1:10:39 Gerald Ford? And then the 70s with a strange time where things were still in like a state of flux and the 80s was nuts. And Pryor. They would do the Poconos and they would do comedy back then I mean, it's like, there was jokes that kind of, like, guys had, like, tools. And I think Lenny, you know, he did a lot of drugs, and he was a wilder guy, and it was a different time.

1:13:18 minds. I want to entertain people. you don't know if he said that. He was a bit of a dick in that. But arrogant like that? Remember that? Yeah, it was kind of weird. I think they were cousins, like 13-year-old cousins. I take it back. Was that movie illegal? and Richard Glenn Cohan July 1980. Oh, right. Oh, so they live together. I don't know if you can trust Rotten Tomatoes.

1:16:42 Yeah, the audience gave it a great review. He's talking about a friend of his that committed suicide who defended him, who he literally had open for him on stage. as rigid as a religion these like being woke is as rigid as a religion as is being like ultra They're boring. And the problem is they get – it's not just that these are ideologies. Here it is is right there.

1:19:41 But the CEO, Seth Dillon, said he has no intention of doing so. So it's not truth. if you're not even allowed to talk about it anymore now it's forbidden and you Was number 400-something as a male, your muscles and all the lung capacity heart size there's a lot of variables and then leah was over there so she's in the number one position and there they all stood

1:22:47 Maybe that's not fair. When she's leading them by a hopeful lap. They think of her as like cheating against these other biological females. No, not successfully. Right. There's no problem in certain sports like archery. You did beat me once. Okay. And so there's not as many that can break through and be elite. Very possible. Very possible. But like in PGA and a lot of other

1:25:46 There's women pool players that win all the time when they compete against men. of like a truly exceptional player okay Okay. Like someone who just stands out. But they just don't win the whole thing. And they play very well, but they never beat they never won like against men and it could be a thing like you were I think it's general men like, oh, chicks aren't funny.

1:27:59 Unbelievable. Come on. There's a lot of people that are But there are now. Why? I'm the opposite, in fact. Are terrible I prefer women comedians. Yeah, Hannah Gadsby is my favorite like those those Yeah. You know, that's just the reality against some. Josh Kerr is a professional surfer. the wave pools have changed the game of surfing a lot. And in 10 years, you're going to see

1:31:13 That's just more and more. I was there all day long. But during that time, I accelerated so rapidly because I was training all day long. is the amount of time that someone spends on something. Compared to a normal person because he spent so many hours. because they just don't have the time, the money. remember any of it now that you're bringing it up it's really good and i'm i've read it before but

1:34:08 Yeah. those sets, you're doing an hour every night. Isn't that the best feeling though when you've done maybe a month of just solid shows and you are in shape and you're just like a weapon? know where you are right it takes like five minutes to stare at the scene i play this game a certain amount of time I think Hefron I forget. he'd only been doing it like a few years and and i took him on the road with me i'm like you know

1:36:54 Oh, no. 20,000 people, whatever it was. just farting around and being funny, and we're about to go perform for Crowd-wise, yeah. Let's have a drink together, my friend. So a lot of Australians will be thinking right now, It's a mild beer. The water? It's from the most pure, untouched, because we don't really have much of a snow season in Australia.

1:39:36 I was watching a documentary on it. But it's a weird-looking striped dog-looking thing. Yeah, that's what it looked like. I think it was him. Is there any images of it? I've heard people talk about this. Well, I've had so many conversations with people that it's like my brain is a hard drive that has no space. You know way too many people. lived in these small groups of people, these small bands of people,

1:42:35 I'd imagine that your capacity to maintain that level of names and stuff might be more That's followed by successive layers of 15, really represent range. Extroverts tend to have a larger network and spread Oh, yeah. It's a good question. But when Joey Diaz is in a room, everybody's listening. have to prove yourself like that like there's a lot of people that think they do.

1:45:19 in the green room. comedy open mic and he's hanging with us yeah he's hanging with tony woods yeah and tony hinchcliffe 15 years whatever it is yeah but it's like we're all the same thing we're all And where do you think they failed? Most of my friends are hilarious to talk to. If you had to start over again, like how long it takes. But you had already done stand-up in Australia.

1:48:25 to know that this is slightly different, this is this. about an hour and a half out of Vegas. Boston's probably very similar to Australia. Is there? Did you take the Coke and try and sell it? No, some of them are still alive. table uh it's such a history there i love it oh my god it's one of the greatest places on earth total sense. But I was the first Australian on

1:50:55 You'd run into their name, like, oh, I forgot about him. And then once you play tennis against comedians and it's just back, back, back, back, and you're just like oh this is fun well it's also just they accept the crazy in you Dude, I've been doing this podcast. these podcasts with scientists and philosophers and fucking scholars and all these interesting

1:52:38 I've been watching a lot of Mark Norman lately. How funny is he? We were on the floor laughing. so we got to hear all of it. Well, there's a In the end, yes. like can't stop laughing at it I was playing yeah I was playing it for this lady who actually This recent one? what the fuck is she even saying? I don't think that's something I would do. And with the face swaps.

1:56:28 Listen to this. family medical need. We figured if they're putting things in, then we can put something in, You have to take it out. Really? No, I've heard of that happening. And they'll tell you about their fuck-ups. But that shit, I think that wears on people. And I think that affects people's behavior patterns. Shared psychotic disorder. They are.

2:00:39 Spying? No, we're going to go, just leave them be. Our octopus ancestors found in Montana lived even before dinosaurs. Scientists who named the species for President Joe Biden, oh, Jesus Christ, That was the 60s? and they used spy planes to get images of that, and that we would blow up a bunch of places and that we would lose a few cities. thousands of Ukrainian troops and civilians.

2:03:23 like just to prove a point. there's always like some crazy fuck that's on his way out and it'll kill but it's not like people are just bunkering down and really accepting it. Ukraine is filled with Nazis well, we, you know, the way he gets rid of journalists that go after him, It's more terrifying the way Mike Baker was explaining it to me. You don't have 15 minutes anymore.

2:06:03 They're pretty safe there, right? like they did with the Statue of Liberty. We're going to give you a slice. one island that's filled with giants. Yeah, it's insane. It doesn't make any sense. You go over Those guys that tie the sweater around their neck? And then there's caviar. But it's not $1,000 tasty. Because it's a status thing. I'm not buying a fucking gold-covered

2:08:41 and you were having fun and shit. for this bottle of wine. Let's get like a regular bottle of wine from 2018. And they've gone, this is the best. Shut up. You got elk in there. long time ago I was not nearly as rich So I go to this place and there's these guys, they all bring these boxes, like felt wine And then they would tell you what this was. I'm watching this documentary and I see my friend.

2:12:04 And he was like aging the labels and He'd buy old bottles and he would mix this stuff together brothers is a wine expert. that kind of shit. That guy, Rudy. Rudy is the guy who I met. like this company didn't make a magnum in this era that's his guy started sweating that guy rudy that had been sold for untold amounts of money. And his brother was involved in some banking scam where he had bilked people out of fucking

2:15:29 And also he had to have help. that Rudy sold me and this is one of the real ones before he was selling fake wine because what Rudy was doing in the beginning was he was going to auctions $422 million. Why do I keep saying $22 million? $420 million. it's Christie's was holding out of reach of the U.S. government. not much better i don't i think it's funny just because these wankers talking about the tannins

2:18:12 He goes, how long has this been open? He's like, I'm a real expert. Like there are some people, allegedly, I'm not sure this is real. Like, they have an exceptional palate. Yeah. This is supposedly true. I think that's true. I think it's from, what vineyard it's from, like they have an exceptional palate. He had an exceptional palate. Some really fucking old wine with people's signature on it.

2:20:15 I'm not sure. and make this cocktail over here. I got it from, straight from Rudy. And it's only because rhino horn is so hard to get. Yeah, supposedly. yes we are they sit around and drink this fucking tea that came from an um, When I was in Hawaii, Really? I didn't know that. to go to the United States. like the highways and stuff, just are America.

2:24:11 That's what they call like a tribe of Aborigines. that there's a whole area in australia called called Arnhem Land that's protected and you can't go in there unless you're indigenous Aboriginal. The northern lands? that was above the American flag in my old studio. Wow. But he works with a lot of those folks. That thing will fuck you up. Scrub bulls are wild domestic cattle.

2:26:31 They're all over the place in certain states, and they're just running around, these wild horses. it look at the horns on that oh yeah like what the fuck is if you saw that you'd be like what is that His guts were hanging out. They don't fuck around. there yeah i just wanted to see if they had any pig man is a dude who uh him and ted nugent there's

2:28:09 Because he lives in Australia. Oh, yeah, man. Well, there's so many wild animals that are invasive species. I bet they do that. It's a real issue. Click on that, please. very much aware that that guy's there What did it taste like to you? You say it like I'm supposed to know what the fuck that is. in the middle of nowhere. for no reason. Seems like it.

2:30:47 Yeah, monstrous. What? whether it's a meteor that's gone and stuck into the earth It's like a special place. And then I saw it and I was like, oh, this is so special. Maybe it's closer. there's nothing there. and they ask that you don't take photographs. It looks like the rain has carved a path through the rocks. It's a very sacred Aboriginal spot.

2:33:39 Ah, because people fucked with it? Yeah, it's unreal. What do they say? While you're asleep, basically, yeah. It's incredible. You can't hold on to the memory. I have since I was a kid. I basically am playing Grand Theft Auto and I usually just grab a I do it every time. I go, I'm dreaming. And I grab a Ferrari and I just go And I knew that I was dreaming because I saw a chocolate.

2:37:35 And I was flying around buildings in New York. And you've always been able to do this? So you live two lives. 30 seconds before they kick me out of the dream and so i'm like oh fuck you guys and so i run off Like you can learn how to do that. Really? was kind of in this lucid dream think it's a good idea if they like sat you down in like a sleep study yeah and

2:40:32 You know Michael Bisping? And he had a night terror I've done that, but I have my boxer shorts on. Why take a chance? and stuff. You're just hammered. Jumps off a building. He's a great bit on how come nobody ever realized. just in my entry to comedy and being in Australia Wow, what a fucking tragedy, huh? That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively.

2:44:05 How many years did Bill Hicks get? like that was it was a weird connection I had seen him um i saw him bomb one time Okay. Ciro's. Yeah. Yeah. You know? I was like, why did you fix it? He was involved in some sort of illegal activity and some rival gang member showed up and shot which is right above it, and the fence was not suitable, and he was smart.

2:47:22 That was my opposite of Marshall. And I thought about this now. No I didn't Oh it was incredible how well they did with that I saw a clip of it where he was in Tommy was in his underwear and he was mad at some Do you remember that? introduced me motive he wants to fight I don't know if he wanted me to train him or help find Yeah, right. Yeah. It has two bedrooms.

2:51:19 He goes, I want people coming over to my house. So you have like exposed beams It's in Nashville. He's like, I don't give a fuck. and the master bathroom has a giant shower that has gold old kid a hundred million dollars He's so nice. He's a fucking character, though, man. So he's a little younger than me. his party house or something? Kid Rock was famous when I first came to California.

2:54:22 Each arena, he's getting a piece of the bar, going, Kid Rock! out these massive venues. So you made a shit ton of money then. Like, he's got talent, man. Have you seen that? How epic would that be? You'd have to do martial arts. Like he's not small. And he apparently, according to him, he had some match with a world champion sumo wrestler back in the day for fun.

2:57:03 And he's also, he's so fucking smart, he might be able to figure out how, fuck you. Shut up. But he's not a liar. He's also, he's so that's real. One school of thought is like get the biggest, heaviest, strongest guy with the most amount of mass. Yeah. It was a wild, wild fight. What year was this, does it say? And then hoist throws a low kick and immediately goes to his back on purpose because he recognized that

2:59:50 Hoist Gracie. You know, like throw a kick and fall to your back. No, that was a fucking fight in who was their champion at one point in time, too. And Noguera's like 240. Dude, he did. That's it. And Noguera shoots in on Bob Sapp. I mean, literally drops him on his fucking head. Noguera snuck out the backside, got on top of him, It was just almost impossible.

3:03:47 down. Because Jiu-Jitsu was supposed to be the martial art where the smaller, more skillful man could and there was so much advantage in knowing jiu-jitsu. the right leg over, and he gets the arm bar Yes! I don't even know if I was working for the UFC back then. of jiu-jitsu. Yeah right. It had already blossomed because it was And the specialists, like these judo guys, thought, I'm going to go beat the jiu-jitsu guy.

3:07:01 No, a lot of them come from wrestling. Some of the greats come from wrestling, John Jones, Like the elites of the guys that you see today, People want to learn how to fight. Dude, he's undefeated. He's beaten elite, elite fighters. and uh and he's a world-class fighter he's like proven world-class competitor so that's a big because I've got to do, I've got to sit next

3:10:13 All that counts. I don't know what the fuck's going on. We were in Vegas for a fight and the press press conference got 1,000 Irish hooligans, I remember Mandalay Bay, there was a scene where the entire Mandalay Bay casino, like there's this hallway to make his way here Randy you're a fucking legend I'm drinking with it for three days and they just

3:12:03 Why is that man holding a shoe? Oh, that was the fight because that was when he won the title. He literally said. And he did it. And it was awesome to watch. natural 170. You gotta remember And then he fought at 170 but he fought I would put Kamaru Usman up against any 170-pound fighter that's ever lived. Colby Covington got a very quick takedown. What about Khabib?

3:14:24 But Kamaru is as good as anybody has ever been at 170. Pulled out of it. Oh And he's still getting better. There's nothing you can do. I want to see some shredded dudes. Come the fuck on, son. The gap between 155 and 170 is 15 pounds. beautiful cowboy You have to have a superior work ethic. made usman top except one time one time the second fight of his career he got caught in a rear naked

3:18:44 would go what the fuck are you saying? He was calling everybody out. Let me get a taste before he comes in too hard. the guy in his division And he's from Chechnya. And he's like, I kill everybody. controlled. And this guy from his back reaches up and kind of punches him a little bit in the face. he's like, I smashed him up! See right there? Yeah, because the UFC pulls

3:21:43 and look, he walks over to Dana White. He's like, Look, Dana. He picks him up. He carries him in the air. And look, he walks over to Dana White. He's having a chat with Dana. he's several fights away has said that. They fought once before. but if he can maintain the level of performance we've seen from him And the toilet bowl was filled with blood, like splattered blood from him coughing blood into the toilet.

3:23:29 Even with COVID, I fucking train. fuck are you doing back here again? Like he wouldn't, he wouldn't just recover. So he's just And again, there's a lot of ifs. Yeah. I mean, that's, I mean, you know, I support him in that. I want, I want Camaro No one. You can fight someone. I don't want to. Great times. I know, fuck that place. my favorite place in the country.

3:26:11 Yeah, Denver's fucking such a great place. The downtown room's great, too. Yeah. You probably like that theater. and Hans Kim. Thank you very much.