Joe Rogan Experience #1796 — Ali Siddiq Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. I don't know if people know. Before you go to makeup, they want you to. No, it doesn't have to be a good mask. They need you to have the mask. 32 straight days. And I think once I've had it, and I had the full blast, like the shotgun to the face when it was new. Like, man, I don't know what to do. I'm taking it. The new one was nothing.

2:58 it's like so soft like yeah it's like, okay, LeBron. Have you watched basketball lately? Oh, no. It was like step, step, step, and then jump. really? He's let you get away You can't do that, sir. I let you push that man down. I don't follow basketball, but how come rims stop breaking? No, it's plexiglass. he brought down the whole entire rim, In person in probably about five or six years in person.

6:08 Shaq lately. Look at that. But look how big he look, though. Yeah, there he goes. The ones that I saw was him working out. all these images of him Got to work with sponsors. Got a good trainer. started celebrity boxing, and I And that's the difference. Some shit that he did, man. What? And then the second day, I go outside to see one of my friends named Ghetto.

10:07 Let's go to that part. But I but the thing is I don't know what the fuck is going on right? There was no dispute? He's a funny motherfucker. You can be known to be something that you're not. I know better than that. And you remember me? Well, the kid got him in a headlock. See, when you're not a man, that's what you do. And you can't. How many shows have you done?

13:54 And he says he doesn't want to be back yet. bag though like I won't I won't make some money doing it I don't like money is necessary for it to be... I want it for a bag, though. I did some research, It's not even a real fight like that. people get money for this shit. around? I don't know. He said that whoever want to buy it. maybe about five two five four five whatever you say yeah he's i'm five seven but he's like

16:15 Like, they did everything. like, I know cats who rap right now that say they're street dudes, Like now the new celebrity is like really not physical. Why they don't do it no more? This shit was so bad. Oh, my God. I fucking love 50. you tell, Fauci, Watch Dr. Fauci. He's got a glove on, bro. Why you got a glove on, bro? Fuck me right there. Most people don't video.

19:28 and I'm like you want to give us They wrong as shit. When you blind, they should have like a array of goals. that shit for the imagine not knowing sort of like watching it oh no you didn't watch in person oh yeah no no Kim Jong-il. documents that Kim Jong Il, if they ever read this shit at Pyongyang Who knows how good Kim could have been if he had taken up the sport earlier.

22:54 But when he claimed that he created the fucking burrito, I lost it. When was the burrito officially invented? it was a receipt imagine being over there and having to go along with that though they have to Watch this. yeah that guy's going to jail that dude's going straight to jail they probably found him that guy's going to jail. That dude's going straight to jail. They probably found him.

25:17 One dude's like, hey, man, they finna arrest me. It's a terrifying story. when they were still in an active, considered active zone, And when we went to perform, it was like all these dudes were just bald-headed dudes. coming. of her voice. it's like you see it that's up The problem is it's too much black. So it's too, it's too accepted. It's everywhere.

28:34 have you ever seen a great facelift? You don't know what the fuck is going on. You don't know. a problem because there's so many filters on Instagram, Like, this is not what I look like. And she's in the video. That's what these filters do now like it's AI they recognize where your lips are and they thicken them up they change your eyes and so if you see someone

30:00 Like, way too high. And you could see when she's moving around and talking, it was freaking me out. It's frozen. I'm like, shit, I'm a young kid. It's like going to get an edge up from a barber Because somebody's trying to take something you can't cut, So, I don't trust no person. Man. So instead of being tiny little dots, they spread out. so what have you done to your head so he has a bad mexican prison tattoo on his head

34:34 He's got a good-shaped head. That's a sad look. But the front of your head has nothing't know but the front of your head got that on the back of his head these balls I think you can get- It is what it is, man. I think I shaved Monday morning. But dudes who can't grow beards, he had, my dad had big, thick Whispers mustache. Yeah. I remember this lady in the airport saying,

37:23 that's like, And this side, it's not any better. For some reason, they do a lot of them in Turkey. transplants or the tits and all this this done to you why travel to a foreign place and get it done Beard transplant in Turkey is very popular Is Turkey good for hair transplant? If you take an organ from somebody else, you have to take – Yeah, it's heavy duty.

40:46 Yeah, bodybuilder. I used to watch his bodybuilding thing So this is all natural. situation but it's you know your body doesn't want another person's organ in there. Oh, really? I've tried to grow everything. It's like 60 feet of just straight vegetables, onions, carrots. they trying to nest they at like And you're like, what the fuck just happened?

44:16 out of nowhere so you have to get things like ladybugs. This is a whole balance of nature. Cucumbers and squash, they bud. See, Like I, I've seen people make relationships out of just trading vegetables. And then we all can grow cucumbers and all these other things. He lives in Shreveport, Louisiana. He got a lot of stuff going on. Yeah. But when you're growing something,

48:27 And you got to know that you don't want no What? I've never grown a successful yard with horse manure. Right? People live near a factory or something like that. have this distinct My parents used to live in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania Like, oh, it just doesn't smell good. and breathing out, why bullshit is bullshit. say i know my boy cousins around them motherfuckers smell like outside and play and just, you gotta reap to you.

52:19 smelt you do a number physically looks very, very fucking you automatically got a fucking yeast infection. that you don't... You're a fucking lot lizard. He said he likes hippies with dirty feet. For you like I've never, I've only been with black women. but i fucking loved them when I see them. If I see a gothic girl, I'd be fucking— New Jersey? They got pretty good margaritas and they got good shrimp tacos.

56:21 gothic the big shoes and shit and everything. I ate my food, cause all these gothic girls and they were very appreciative but I know I have no idea And they're like, hmm. I'm very charitable to people. it's opened up to gothic girls it used to be So is it just a mystery to you? Old, white, well-to-do women. they don't even want him for your time what's the price of your time

59:38 They pulled her car around, and she was, like, in a Maserati truck. that gets left in the wheel. Who was the dude? He had that girl. That's rare. She said, porno is not all people think it is like that shit is different like you got to do things I don't want you dancing on me you're going to get the same money. That's what I would have. If I open up a strip club,

1:02:27 She don't have a long-ass table with everybody. And then come back out and dance on people fresh That's understandable Like, don't. But I would have to have a shower Oh, I'm ashamed of you. I feel like you have plans. My uncle Mac told me, you don't want to make no goddamn money. million dollars in a year. okay. looks, If it's bent over, a genetic thing?

1:05:32 like big tits because it's going to be able to Our urges come from that. I have a friend named Marcus D. Wilder. I know your tits is fake. the side or you got it I felt some It has to be fucking gravel. It doesn't match your thighs. What was weird was women who something into it? their ass with that fat. How does it work? with confident insecurities.

1:08:38 Probably. Like $60,000 in shoulder implants, one of the guys said. Because you can't tell if they're gay if you hear them talk, but you can tell if they're not straight. in dollars, he said. Oh my God. Like from where? With the surgery? Like, his cheeks look fake. Doesn't line up right. Oh, God. I think he has bicep implants, too. like fuck when it rains out.

1:11:15 them more attention so they're like addicted to that probably oh yeah for Oh, look, he's got to trim it. picture it looks like he's got muscle, but not when it moves. They think they look good. He's like a Finland dude. I don't want her to do this. He's like a Finland dude from Finland. Like, Lil' Kim, she was fucking perfect. Shit. Is it not enough people telling you,

1:14:19 That's what a lot of it is with women. Do you know what I'm saying? and never seen a nail shop. my mother never went this was a thing I'm washing my hair. wear makeup it's the we don't have shit and this is what the fuck My beard don't connect. So we know they wore it like in the hieroglyphics. But clear as a fact, she looked good regular. I need a clay dust mask over my face.

1:17:31 Okay. I'm gonna say I'm just guessing. 1500s? Something called unjuant. The earliest historical record of makeup. Hmm 5,000 years ago this Smithsonian's let me see That's like, that goes, what's that? But we're talking about the guy at Target. you know, but they were also anonymous. He's Snyder. But not a lot of people were doing that. I was like, oh!

1:22:27 go go to like some old little richard shit and a lot of people forgot like rick james had a lot See if you can find the original lyrics for Tootie Fruity. Tutti Frutti, good booty. with so much. Just think about don't force it. the original lyrics were tutti frutti, good booty. in a song shit. Tutti Frutti, good booty, a-loomah, I'm a womp, bam, boom. He was so interesting. Tooty fruity, good booty.

1:25:21 Rudy, we just trying to get it on the radio. The session wore on. that's a Wikipedia That's right. they break through in such a way, but it was a couple things. then when you came up with this i'm like i said well let's look at it And try to Or do you think it's about Joe Rogan is running a fucking muck on media? if we was racing They start running in Houston.

1:29:12 in a way that I feel like Like, and then I compared it to Fat Joe. when they edit in the vicinity of people, whatever. about. None of that take my feelings on something and try to make something trigger. Are y'all fucking losing y'all mind That's just how people do. I'm going to ask the person square what it is. explain to how things happen somebody

1:32:53 why are they trying to do their business? On top, and then they went to the Rights Act afterwards, And then you're not even and of course No, I haven't. So it makes sense for the man to say, I don't want you filming on top of the officers while they're trying to do their thing. You don't hear about this? That's it. That's the law, which seems reasonable. You don't want an unknown person who's a teacher, a stranger, talking to your child who's six about sexual transitioning and gender transitioning and sexual orientation and gay people and bisexual people and non-binary people.

1:36:13 And they're so backwards. So I understand how I got here. If I, we have two dogs outside. Do you want me to make sense of your shit? I'm not drawing none of this shit. I saw him Just got it straight from my dad It was done. and they not his uncles they don't I had to take my Now you got to fuck. Fuck all the rest of that Two guys and two girls. That shit doesn't match to him.

1:41:02 That's what he wants to know. You have to forfeit something in order to achieve something. that's on the road, to take care of them, the shit that you're doing So you think that if someone's fucked up it's like it's like getting a dog but not having no fucking place for the dog to be you And he runs around your house. You don't think that they can?

1:44:30 She's like, and she was so attached to the baby somewhere around there. He seemed okay to me. From the time I was seven until I was 11, gay people have been everywhere for as long as i've be adopted is because kids need a lot of things but what you don't need is to be in another fucking getting married and spending a lot on a wedding. $30,000, $40,000, $50,000

1:47:56 shit is fucking stupid how's that untraditional like what is traditional is the father of the on a wedding It wastes a lot of money. you're supposed to take, I fucking hated the idea I paid for the wedding, I'm fucking think of what I want. It's an And 50% of it goes to court. I think 15% of marriages in the United States are happy. I mean all I'm just going to

1:51:19 nobody can come to me Ali had 37 thick white gothic strippers doing all type of weird shit. arguments here and there. Yeah. What is the percentage of Americans who get divorced? 70. I think it's like 50%. Make the bloodline strong. in the United States I get it. A seafood tower. you got a 73% chance it's going to divorce, and you're still getting the ice sculpture. Ah!

1:53:58 Russia, that is wild. It's crude. at a different rate. Yeah. Because who you going to call? It's like lesbian communities because who you gonna call it's like you'd rather break up a man Really? That's not why we called him Sugar. And that motherfucker on Ellis 2. Because, you know, different underwear, You just wash them out yourself. Sugar looked under the thing

1:58:07 It's anything can happen in the shower area. Sure did. That's a funny thing to say too. The smelling salts, and no you would think Lucy Pearl. We just called him Lucy Pearl. champion back in, I want to say, the early 60s. it's a horrendous beating he has him on the ropes and he beats him i mean he beats this And it was just the last combination, it wasn't just that he was trying to beat him.

2:01:46 Here's the boom. Boom. up off the ground they'd come and punch you in the face they didn't even let you like today like He might have hit that pole. Well, that wasn't the problem. and calling him a bunch of gay slurs. Woo. Marvis Frazier? And didn't quite fight for the title yet but was on the way he was uh that was I mean, he just wailed him. And this is Ray Mercer when Ray Mercer was an Olympic gold medalist.

2:04:49 Ray Mercer had one, like, sort of, it was kind of an MMA fight. Stop, pause right there. There's no fucking way we can sanction that boxing match. And they said, well, what about if it's an He's like, what the fuck? Ray Mercer set out on it too. There's some old men in that gym. Oh, it's a man. He ran in and got them out. Like he got his fucking shit strapped up to the top.

2:07:34 Any type of fighting gym. There's somebody in there you can come in there and do it. Oh, you picked the little Mexican guy. Ordele! who beats the fuck gotta be 65 years old because it's hilarious. I've never even seen this. That young kid's in trouble right off the bat. Mike Tyson Jr.? Is that really? That may have been the one. Deontay Wilder is wild. That may have been the one.

2:11:19 I believe it was And I said that Fury was going to beat Wilder. Yeah, this is a long time ago, too. And Ortiz, his body crumpled, and the look on his face was like, and then you'd be hearing all these other fighters. And this Irish dude was in the fight too. Oh, this is not the this is not the fight That's it. Punching power is a weird thing. this hand has been through some shit.

2:15:27 This shit was so strange. That's the last thing you want to hear in an argument. Fuck the facts. When you argue with somebody who say fuck the facts. That's the last thing you want to hear in an argument. because somebody just said, Forward? I was like a bitch man It's like my little kids, my little boys left. Because they don't hurt each other. Fight it. I don't want him spawn. I want to cop. That's a thing. I just want him training getting this thing so what happens is

2:18:26 Maybe because Harice was little at the time but he's a cane cool so he's little but he's big like it's not a little like what's going on told Harish to sit And then after the boys started running off, because Hassan went to work, Haris is a puppy at the time. I know when anybody comes around my house, Jesus Christ. Look how cool he is. He is 111 now.

2:21:08 They get like 150, 160. Like they would say, oh, I had to, like, of not another single person Like, Haris was digging. And in a second. And he was looking at me like, when you in the wrong. And he's just up in the air with all his legs dangling. It was growling at his wife. You know, the PSI on that dog's jaws is like 700 pounds He put him through all kinds of training, and he just had a problem with the dog.

2:24:34 It's too risky. in the world he just gives you kisses my um my role manager dre you met him his dog fucking hates No, his shit is a. them for like tactical things and there's one Belgian Marmois it jumped 30 feet you ever seen dude? Well, their athletic ability is just, watch this, off the tree, and he does a flip. So it's a cane. Two touches. They're ripping the tendons off your arms. I need to send you a picture of this crazy-ass dog. that big that dogs like that they're like 60 pounds it doesn't matter they get you they're

2:28:27 And I was like, I said, your dog look vicious as shit. If you jump the gate oh, they look like Ronnie Coleman. What type of goddamn dog is this? he got shoulders he got a human shoulders that looks like a bodybuilder they get so big look Look at the size of him. pug looking go to one of them on the picnic blanket. Yeah right there What the fuck? Oh, he's a psycho.

2:31:15 That's his girlfriend conicorsos and they killed Ving Rhames Ving Rhames I believe wait a minute Ving Rhames the fucking Arby's voice yeah Arby's we have the meats that's being that's being So he had four dogs. Getting mauled by a dog That dog got to know you. Like just observing him That's a smart. The toxicology report was at the time still pending.

2:34:15 He had none. and he was a baby, and we pulled up, Like, you always say oh boy i thought that dog had got out and because the dog had been I get it. Oh, Presa Canaria. It's like having a fighter like you got to get his road work in he's got to hit the bag I'm not going to even play with it. because the only reason Mark got it. He's all right. in your house but it's your bear you. You know? And he's outside.

2:39:04 like, when I walk out like hands up Right slap. With me, it's different. Fuck no. See, I'm not interested in having dogs like that. Right, but if you have like a lab or something like that, I came home in my living room. then you could not have two females because two females will never they'll never let dominance I had this... damn you crazy bitch squeaky was still alive yeah one bitch in his house. That's it. So I put her down.

2:42:58 It's just I can't have that. what's like one in the morning what the the fuck is going on? It's too late. Finds his way to a carpet and just blasts all over the carpet. It's like, what are you doing? And that's usually when he gets diarrhea. Yeah. Oh, I thought he ate some shit that was really bad. and on his foot. And his stool like, chewing, swallowing

2:45:28 It's funny how all animals, like all those kind of animals that are meat eaters, bronze on the body black and he had these spots and i know it was poison his head was in the I'm like, so the snake, I can see him open his mouth. And he looking like want to kill it. I'm like so the snake I can see him open his mouth That's the whole thing. They can die, but most of the time they don't.

2:47:29 happens is their face swells up it looks crazy it's just like like my dog Frankie got bit in his Yeah, so I take him home. burrows he the other day i'm i kind of sweep the dirt back in this little spot and as I'm sweeping this thing what I thought was dirt this big ass spider And he looking at me like, body it causes necrosis you get people with have giant holes in their body from all these bites. Oh, really? Yeah.

2:49:37 Recluse. guy who got bit in the gym and he had developed a giant fucking hole in his leg It was nasty they had to fill it up with like they had to take gauze and stuff No. then they they roll out the red carpet for you to keep you safe from other people that's Like if you have anger management, of the unit in a different class and you know you'll go and i went to cognitive intervention

2:52:17 You don't even need this shit. guards or they would fuck each other up but i think they do that anyway they do that anyway right wouldn't it but wouldn't That's the weakest shit in the world. be a gentleman about this shit And then Joe losing. We feel like That's a great start to a story. they had the giant joints. And I told him I was going to give him half of mine for half of his just so we both had both flavors.

2:55:48 here. You know, you don't tell Bobby It was all respect, mostly. He had a gun host. It was like a They got their girls out there. The dude took his hat and his jacket off. They got their girls out there. he gone he said nah fuck my goddamn nose. fan square. Put his gun holster back on. feel bad about this not working have to sit around and wait try to catch a wave you get wave after wave after wave so these kids

2:59:51 He's the man. well-rounded and I want him to be You think everybody's a fucking liar because you're not doing it. to you or talk Nah, he's fucking lying. or you're around kids that don't do shit like that or you're around kids that don't have these Coliseum. I wanted them to see Rome. I wanted them to see the Vatican. Like this is all, broader access to

3:02:34 done none of that shit. Hold on, getting ridiculed I had a daughter. and talks to everybody and tough would have been related to you. Don't nobody fucking play with her. I've been a parent for a long time. She has been elated about this shit her whole life until middle school, that I would be there to pick her up You're academically inclined. You was a peer pressure of this.

3:06:00 Or When you don't want these things for your kids, group of kids you're in school these are the kids you know and you don't have any choice and if you get in bad relationships in school bad And I just dodged all that shit knows what would have happened? A bad group of friends could change the course of the rest of This is with your kids, man. This is the problem.

3:09:15 we still have the same fucked up curriculum. What are you eating? in Finland you got a fucking five star chef back there fixing he didn't go to the NBA so So in other places that wants to actually It got a fucking doctor's degree. you to do. You're the When? You're going to have to go get a fucking book. I don't remember trig like that. it they would pay them more and they would also make a better curriculum they would they would

3:13:25 and you get paid a lot of money to do it and these are people that are passionate about educating How much time do you actually think kids spend learning in school? Do you how much do you teach people about tools that you can use to navigate life? I go to a lot of places Then I grow up, besides in D.C. and take your order. it's like whole foods i It's like Whole Foods.

3:17:04 They have somebody that is focused on the bathroom was dirty ever. Ever. They have somebody that Everybody ever tell me they ever tip What if you run out the door? his brand like yeah and like I didn't even complain about this Chick-fil-A on 18th Street in D.C. Why don't you say something? fucking Chick-fil-A. to a terrible place. Blindside! If you change.

3:19:34 and people care about you and it's so much, it's hard to be mad and you don't, And the dude saw the knife on my waist, he looked at me like you gotta carry like a weapon is like incarceration right like no they're so friendly up there to attack to be a this man could not like cops do what What is happening Like, the number one commodity of a country is its citizens.

3:23:18 Like, you're fucking out of space now Like, the country not trying to do nothing to me. But then let's change and run the water through these corroded ass pipes that we know that's corroded. That's it. It's a crazy video because it is a stunt. Not much. that motherfucker there, He still was very... that's how they get away with it they profit off of it doesn't affect them or

3:26:45 Fix it. Start with South Side Chicago. molesters president to be standing around on TV. Hey! Convicted molester here. I got to do it in public. Yo, I'm going to be on the president and be standing around on TV. Hey! voice. Hear my voice and then hear his voice. Just gun it. Public. You molest or you rape. in front of the president. They have rules.

3:29:27 What are you going to do about all the people that are... I'm coming right there. Need all Oh I might Hey let me tell you something Hey man any type of dick off crime Anything dick off, I'm not come out on HBO. HBO. HBO. And you'll tell us when it's gonna be on. It's happening. HBO, I'm having a special come out on HBO. You're a funny motherfucker.

3:31:20 That's legit. I don't even know how to work my goddamn Facebook. if you don't respond to this. I'm licensed. I don't know I'm the bald head black one yeah He don't have the patches, man. I definitely put a lot of work into getting it together for HBO. I've seen. watching or listening. Live life. Time flies in this room.