Joe Rogan Experience #1808 — Dan Soder Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. Very nice to meet you officially. You respect it. We're all either psychos or phonies. The phonies are Oz. It's the hardest. watched the angles and he got off stage and i was like i was mad at you by like the third tag There was a fucking company in Europe that was chipping their employees. I'm chipped. I think I think you should lean into like you should start advertising yourself as like a bond villain

3:39 Oh, there's a lot of pictures, but create Klaus Schwab Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Is that like the Patagonia type material? Yeah, yeah, yeah. you're you're a movie guy you're a character you're a living bad guy yeah living villain and They're talking about some sort of a financial reset. Don't actually do the bad shit. and then watch everyone be like, That's the problem.

6:26 Yes. But then the internet does what the internet does best, and they take something and run It's like trying to put your dick in a sleeping bear's mouth. I saw the guy's shape and I was like that guy would kick the shit out of me Yeah, you've seen that a couple times and they're just mean mugging everyone. Yeah, I remember that. and I was doing like overnights

9:29 crazy they they tried to go crazy i knew one of the owners shout out to mr atencio he's a cool Does it say? You know, the UFC is like, good luck. that they built up online, and I like his face. There's something to be said for that because having a little bit of fat on you doesn't look as good because you're not as shredded. Like, he was pretty fat.

11:44 His brother was covered in tattoos. So my question is do you think fate or who's the bat? I would do absolutely, if I got a finish, a quick finish in a fight, Yeah. He was so jacked. Dude, look at our sloppy king on the left. I would not only would I bet- Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, that fucking dude eats. In a cool way. and those Eastern Europeans,

14:55 He dressed like such a dad. But then my friends who were super into it like Lewis and Dave Smith were like he did fade or this guy's fucking crazy Oh, I think I want to say no Gary lost the title to Fedor see if that's true It's on the last one where it pops. That's a big head, bro. think on purpose you go i went out to the woods and forgot a couple cousins because I was just smashing my fucking head into a tree

17:17 We would do demonstrations and one of the things that people wanted to see was people breaking boards see I broke boards No, we never practiced breaking boards. That Brian De Palma energy. The best part about even the Karate Kid. No. Okay. McDojo Life? No. They all, like, fall down. Look at this. It's got music attached to it. So this guy has all of the, don't go to the one in the middle.

19:46 that did that with his dick. that was the whole point of his, But that's, He just wants a lot of photo ops. Yeah. of thing. Imagine if it that lanced in the fight imagine if Whaley you had those little milks? Like that. Pimple popper. Yeah, just pimple popper did all over you and her as you're interviewing her. So she could have gone right you think if she would have walked up after the fight Hey, good fight

22:29 That's like, yeah, dude. Yeah, there weren't roads. Right they might be thinking that you're like becoming a thing or maybe a parasite They used to go rage. but I went to the Viking Museum and they were like there's a part where they're like Well, they were in a zone. There was a guy who's And then they move one line psilocybin is going to go into your stomach lining and then it's going to open your retina you're

25:33 Because your eyes, you're just like, huh. I'm on a lot of psilocybin. and you said, you know what? How do you know this? That's what I always felt about. like anytime I want, but I open for him. Andby's bobby you know boston tough and shit and he's like you fucking and I'm walking through a hot Target parking lot, So just walk through it and then that confidence of him being like over it and be like, yeah, dude, whatever

27:52 I have an open mic. how many times here's the thing and then you bomb I told this on the bonfire with Jay. You did a check spot, meaning there's a spot where they drop the checks. Yeah, so only one spot they do that Yeah, I mean I still do, I learned how to like, oh I can get them. Because I don't want to, I mean, dude, That's not, is that the right way to do it? I don to do it. I don't know but they just have their fucking shit together

31:13 you can do the check spots. and they're like, hey. Because people are naturally curious. and I'm like, oh shit, oh shit, And I'm just like, this fucking guy can't even look at me. Right now you're mean. Exactly. Yeah, this is, well, bachelor party at a comedy club is fine. I just did it. You're going to fucking need it. I like this part. And the club asked me, they were like,

34:46 bar is packed with charger fans because tucson san diego it's not that far from each other And I bombed for 30 minutes. And just starts murdering, standing in front of him. So no one was paying attention to the comedy show. there for comedy they're embarrassed that the people are angry that they're there for you know I was like, I will do less time.

37:19 the show might have been shittier. for Nate Bargetzi. But he, fucking come open for me. Nate and I go to Buffalo Wild Wings on that Saturday. No, I'm good. I might do more that joint you rip a cigar And we're in Steeler country. It's going on. I get so fucking lucky that my set lines up with halftime. Second half starts. and then you'd hear, and then Nate's like, my wife, you know know I come home late doing comedy, and then you're

40:47 To be like I don't give a shit about this clown not just that though like live I would say the NFL is like sucked at football i sucked at athletics you know what i learned i learned that's when i was funny One in the cards, dude. There's part of me that thinks like uh, the more and more the cte conversation gets brought up and they talk about helmets and stuff

42:50 Yeah, people were different look at that guy laying on the bottom that guy laying on the bottom right there 1901. Penn. war like there wasn't a bicycle helmet oh my god bicycle helmets didn't even There's gonna be like a period of transition which is what a fun period to watch fun Yeah. So you can let stuff out. I got used to practice when I was in high school and I was on JV and you'd have to go against varsity and a guy

45:33 every day in practice. I know. Yeah. I need a good Shane face. But yeah, dude, we were in Nashville together and he's like, I was like, all right. and you live in an apartment It doesn't make any sense to me like that like that won't feel good. Like I don't mind working out That fuck it voice. Well, also, your body's used to it. I'm cool. god it's the one all my problems my anxiety it's all out the window now and i'm more loving i'm

48:45 Because you're just like sometimes I love days off if I can if I earned it I was like super I would come home on Sunday and be fucking exhausted I was laughing about it. I'm apologizing to waitresses. And then fucking dude, COVID was like, sit down, bitch. because a lot of times we operate on momentum. it's so pushed undefeated. I learned a lot about, you ain't shit.

52:04 She can't even hide it. She's like she's like shit man you got the fucking dick Yeah. 2 p.m. No one's there. But the guys that Yeah. It was like I looked like an asshole in front of Patrice and Big J on that premiere But you're like yeah, but uh it's a process because I'm fucking good at this chest thing I always say that bombing is like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother.

54:29 what was funny about doing stand-up in New York Like Tim Dillon is the best example Tim Dillon's from Long Island or whatever Yeah, who's helps me like let's go get beers and laugh about this shit and be dumb, you know? in New York now. we'd fucking both hate each other. like god dad soda got that fucking part talking to like guys that have been around because

56:45 whoever comes in they stay until they want to leave we put up as many comics as we can and now Who gives a shit? My god, my favorite great comedy is fun, man. But I'm also trying to pull out of that I was probably like, yeah, it's doom and gloom. You should be in therapy or have a form of therapy because that's like a sports trainer Right? the way it is right now, with access to the

59:58 Paramount last night. Yeah, I got to do I got my stove. Oh my god dope dope theater. I'm trying to work that I tried They're like, all right, Dude, it was like, the curve those days there was a moment when two weeks became a month and you know all the fear The real shit. Not like you're fucking LARPing for a movie or you're doing a survival show where you're canning peaches.

1:01:38 Yeah. The Houston improv in July of 2020 and it was a little early. We were like fuck it. Let's just do a weekend Fuck I got what if? was I a fucking asshole? Oh, I was just in my hotel room like, did I fuck that up? And he goes, hey, buddy. Yeah, Mike's high all day. Because Mike makes him calmer. He's the most mellow. Opie was bringing in different comics just hanging out

1:04:52 he loosens up and loosens up and somehow Jim and I And I'm like, what did I do to you? I walked out of that like, I got fucking sage advice you want to talk about doom and gloom. Where you watch guys, because you can watch guys that are up there, It's a thing that I've been really actively trying to be like, Most people have said funny things. I'm like, ah, that's hilarious.

1:07:08 I just go like, tell me what's going down. And it's amazing. the Coming over to New York right, but when you get in his mindset, you're like dude. This is so good. It's so yeah That's the beautiful thing about inspiration. But the best part of the show was Colin doing stand-up to the audience. So Colin. He did his own warm-up so colin he did his own warm-up i mean i don't know if he did it all the time but he

1:10:02 But I'm telling like the act was so like, this guy should be filling stadiums. I saw Colin at the Cellar just have this throwaway line See, I want to be real clear about this, because he was a great host of Tough Crowd, and it was a great show. But I don't do that. And then, because then you go see it and it's like, this is worth the wait. It was a good scene.

1:12:03 There's a great, I watched that documentary when standup stood out. and they were as good as anybody in the country man when i moved to new york and became friends Yeah, these guys were rapid-fire punchline machines. Yeah, there was some of the best comics in the world I love it. You got there to work and you got a guy who's like real big in Long Island

1:14:11 And that's just fucking bullshit, bro. And he'd be like, why do I got to go to Long Island? That's awesome. He'd clear the brush in Long Island. He'd be like, down like a lion tamer and then you go up and be like I'm gonna do my that's awesome but his Navy SEALs bit and his George Washington bit are things that you watch as a comic and you walk away and you're like

1:15:31 what the fuck dude from a bit I've been I love seeing his new shit or just you know, people do jokes really like Nick's would, when I was coming up, to being in the way instantly. Yeah, it was down in the theater district and it was- a good set and I'm like, hey, let me get another shot. It just goes from being like special to being like you fucking vagrant they used to have

1:17:58 like a like maybe someone lost a lease or something and they they had it for a little while but during you would get hypnotized right and you would in the blow and everything. Yeah. This is cool, especially if you're a regular at the club Gladwell you have to ever read Outliers? Malcolm Gladwell. Time is very important, but applied practice is more important. So making your shortcomings strong, you know, he gives examples of like

1:21:04 It's a great book because the guy really says if you spend 45 minutes a day Yeah, I would imagine if you play guitar, You're saying, like, the actual hitting chords? There's a thing about guitar, and you're pretty sure that's Stevie Ray Vaughan. She had to Google the lyrics right before they sang the song. Yeah. Yeah. That's some crazy shit when someone can make it theirs almost instantaneously and kind of put that

1:23:29 Yeah. from a very young age, I think it's probably the early days. But I bet it would be awesome to be this, though. Have you heard that? You also watch it, and I know exactly. I think he takes more risks now You're like, you want to see some crazy shit? There's people that are just genius ly creative through whatever weird quirk of their personality. They're really creative

1:25:53 I remember after, Do my favorite David tell story is he loves to run? And Attell would call Vecchione, And it was like cold water breathing. You're goes, hey, I'm busy. Attell's going to call you to run bits. And it was like cold water breathing. Have you ever heard anybody do this joke? It's like Gary Clark jr. Being like does this a sound right like what's like?

1:28:02 taught that lesson twice the second time he called me I was just like nope I don't anybody do that he's like okay okay all right reliable source again he You're like this is gonna be interesting if he's wearing his black leather gloves and his hat and he's drinking his coffee I mean, he was always great. and drinking, and it was part of the gig of the show.

1:29:45 where's a nutria from i don't know maybe it might even be south american but they're fucking giant dude like this big like a small dog like the rats in princess bride oh bigger let me see He's like I'm bringing over some shit. They didn't know what they were doing back Well, that's like rats and squirrels right yes, how close squirrels and rats are fucking pretty close size and shape

1:31:16 They brought them over somehow or another You know guys exercise them, how do you do they do like like a fucking presses? No, you have a fucking treadmill. like I have one called the Air Runner. So it's got a slope to it. become magnus ver magnuson they just become these world's strongest men it's a dog if it works for If you weren't just so violent, taking my dog to the dog park and watching a dog that you know is going to be a problem.

1:33:09 He's like, come on, don't make me work out. Once he's in. That's insane. I guess we just have to not look at it like it's involuntary Yeah, but running for a dog like that, like that being held back by a chain, must feel great. The real superheroes are those Belgian Malinois. You've never seen anything like it. That's a Belgian Malamore. Watch this.

1:35:14 I'm pretty sure they were Belgian Malinois. We were talking about the first person that saw those big rats. in your backyard, you're torturing this thing. I'm going to show my dog these videos to be like hey just know this these dogs are out there I've been around guys who had them and they're good dogs man Easy to be around. Do not come near me. I grew up with a golden retriever.

1:37:26 He would I would go to the backyard and play a game where I'd take two tennis balls and so I was like growing up He was the easiest dog that I've ever had to train to bring things back to oh they were retrievers I just walked in being like, I'm back, Montana. They're the coolest animals. Yeah, dude, I had an old joke We think of wolves as these beautiful animals

1:39:41 Yeah, the Western Sioux and they talked about when they laid the train tracks And you know us watts were coming west with the repeater fucking rifle to shoot in Buffalo You're like, damn, what a domino effect. Because they have a population that they need to control just be like wolves auto insurance yeah he looked he didn't seem like a crazy looking guy i go i go how often do you

1:41:32 because they've killed a few this way. And these motherfuckers are smart, just fucking catch a rifle. Yeah? to check to see if something's poisoned. I think they just keep using it and they killed dumb young rats and they think they're doing a good job And you're like, oh, those are the brazen ones. This is back in the day when I didn't have a cell phone.

1:43:51 run out, jump on my Rats jumping up on my car and climbing into my fucking car. How do you drive away with that? Yeah, they would jump in and start eating a Subway sandwich by the way They're willing to risk it all for an open bag of funyuns they are not scared of New York City summer and I'm like, and it's like, like running by it kill me I don't give a fuck

1:46:38 Scared the shit out of him. I'm so glad we did this fucking scared the piss out of him and they would come into the garbage. But so I go I leave it there and I get up in the morning, It's like they'll climb up. three of us couldn't get away from each other and we didn't know why you just started panicking Yeah, but that was like, Dude, it's how they did who survived

1:49:40 like one woman didn't want to know if it her husband or not, because her husband had died. and about how all these people that survived were like, What is it called? Jakobs? They lied. disease but mad cow disease comes from cows eating other cows yeah put it they put cow in the feed but just see it is mad cow disease dude what's so funny about that is it says it changes your

1:52:52 yeah that's what they're trying to say yeah i think they're not the same it's a different disease i And he was gone. died in that garage. Fat fuck. Yeah, don't do it in a day where you come out and like oh shit. It's gone They talk about how this motherfucker Kuklinski would watch those videos eating sandwiches and shit like that's how cold he was Get the fuck out of the room Christ

1:55:42 Yeah. Kuse. Jesus Christ. He's trying to sitcom it. You're like, oh, fuck, dude. Oh, wow. I'll learn about your crazy ass pull up an article on how evil they were to see if you can find something they it was just running shit, when Uday first took and throw them to ravenous dogs. on the soles of his feet after a particularly poor showing. Oh, Uday's excesses carried over into his private life where he had a reputation for ordering any girl or woman who caught his eye to be brought to his private pleasure dome.

1:59:17 Oh my God. He was briefly exiled to Switzerland that's that's too much i'm gassing curds but this is too much what a scary person yeah to have your See how they do it. Can you imagine Switzerland Yeah They're born into it. you fucking respect me. That's where clowns are made. I don't want to do the business. I'm forced to do the business always always always a storyline where it's like

2:02:17 They played on the same team. Yeah. Yeah. And he's the son of, so it is, you know, The way him and his uncle and his father talk, I imagine that they were always super competitive from the time they were young. just refocus and you're like that's what you get from growing up around all that shit you can focus in and well he always has an amazing car my donna cracked him he caught

2:04:10 The second fight they had, it was a shutout. One of the funniest things that he ever did was he fought this guy, Tenshin, who is a huge star in Japan in martial arts. You can get in there and pick your shit up. And he just beat the fuck out of this dude. What the fuck are you talking about? He wasn't like like he looked like look at him here But the point is, like, he's so relaxed, dude.

2:06:27 Yeah. And if this was kickboxing and Tension could kick his legs, this fight would be in grave That's fake. The kids are prodigy in kickboxing and I but my worry was my worry was that this this defeat was so crushing This is the thing. I think it's a three knockdown thing. it wouldn't be good it's not good just because it changes it adds changes everything changes

2:08:35 Yeah. And when a guy's kicking you. He was really a really good wrestler, a big giant wrestler. And also you have to condition your legs to be able to get beaten up like that. It's like, fuck, just go kick stuff. Yeah, fall down with their leg like that. Yeah, man, like that Anderson Silva one. Yeah, Chris Weidman. fucking broke his leg. Yeah, yeah, Connor had a fucked up leg going into that fight

2:11:34 Was a tough one. That's one of the ones where I remember like, you know doing I do shows on Saturdays it was the same night as the I've been holding it in for the last 10 minutes. Chris Weidman. I wonder how many guests do you think you've had that people have to piss, but they're just like- And they're like, mm-hmm. You're fucking squeezing it. I had it DVR'd, and I came home,

2:13:33 This is like oh my god 2012 2011 and I'm like dude get the fuck how many people Where you're like, I know exactly what I'd do. Yeah. He had left and he had gone to meet up and there was like. So you came home to a party that was going on without Pete. Yeah, he had left and he had gone to meet up get high get food put on the pay-per-view watch all the fights Pete comes home at the start of

2:15:11 Yeah, especially cuz I hadn't quit drinking yet, so it's much more forgiving when you drink cuz you're like Norman's the last he likes to party Everyone else was white knuckle in it. I worked the program you gotta do this and this Yeah. And then I saw him maybe a year later. Really? Let's play around. Absolutely. Yeah. And they start getting weirded out by that.

2:18:15 I'll like three of the jokes Fucking Sam or illa mark norman you're seeing these people do jokes that you're like or list list will come out with like ten minutes and he's a bad person or whatever, I think you probably earned it. Yeah, some you know that like they'll be talking and you're like hey shut the fuck up and the huh right oh I got you. Oh, and then you know the classic after the show I helped and you're like man

2:20:41 in the sky If you hear that, please reach out to us. I think she's in trouble. So the FAA is going to fine her. Someone going for the door. Oh, it wasn't? That's the best part. All right, never mind. Against a woman. Yeah. That's what did they do? Yeah, you open the door, you call the cops, they get her out. And apparently, this is great. I love the post covering their ass.

2:24:23 Would you sit right in front of her and try to go to her like you would So if you were on this flight, yeah, would you like just put the camera in front of her and not say anything? This woman said that in a subsequent video describing the hectic scene, flight attendants Just as the plane was about to land, a flight attendant who sat near them explained that a woman with an apparent mental issue had an outburst, like had the urge to get off the plane.

2:26:40 Dude, if you're, what they don't talk about is the first guy that noticed I wonder if you can open it while the plane's moving. What if you're like Eddie Hall, Airplane doors are impossible to open at cruising altitude, I've got to get off this plane. Are you going to leave? The guy behind you is going, hey, don't prove nothing don't get her get your girl what's going on don't prove nothing

2:28:55 and had it replaced with his toe. So it's like a toe never really like shook his he shook his hand, but he got a finger in there Yes. Yeah You just come and shit at the same time. no i saw the one where he went down and just didn't get the one. It's like probably over 150 pound guy. It's so crazy. That's the impact. Yeah. I want you to listen to it.

2:32:17 To the point where he crashes. But it wasn't open damn, dude. Do they have the audio of him being like? Because you know you're not supposed to be there anyway bridges Oh, man. On the video. Oh my god Yeah, no, thanksattered. Yeah, no thanks. It's probably instantaneous. I always think about that when you're like, Yeah, but nobody does that it's like one of the things they know when people are faking

2:36:30 They just think it'll kind of go sideways a little right Where they're like taking multiple punches and they're knocked out and then Oof. High? She, flight attendant. The fuselage separated from the rest of the plane which prevented her heart from bursting upon impact. several broken ribs, and temporarily paralysis below the waist surviving that Damn.

2:40:33 Same sort of like landed on a roof serious injuries including internal You go face first over the window. You look out his window. He was like a banking financier type character Spend millions of dollars for a fucking apartment in New York City, and then I went to this guy's place them and be like this is fucking crazy something about being on a porch and you look down and it's

2:43:26 But this is like- This old overnight guy, Cheezmo, that worked at K-Rock was like, dude, you want to see There's something about being of lower primate we're trying to get away from big cats that's what they did they tried to hide You got to come up these stairs if you want to get me. just sitting there every day, I'm biting you in the dick. I can't even think of what the video would be called but on ebom's world when the old internet videos

2:46:02 He's got a fat gut and and he just does something like that. This one's even better. And this guy backs up like a skilled fighter, hits him with a leg kick, lifts him up in the air. Oh, this is where it starts. Damn. Yeah, dude. He said, why are you throwing kicks? So the guy's like, you want to keep going, bitch? Head on the concrete That impact is horrible.

2:48:44 Yeah. And I had won a bunch of martial arts tournaments Fuck, you're not supposed to be this good. When I first started doing jujitsu, it was one of the most humbling things I'd ever experienced in my life. you're like, fuck, I don't know. Fucking good. Yeah. Bullshit, you know, I was like dude fuck this. I knew it wasn't for me He actually makes a great living doing tournaments, but he's the best of the best. Yeah, he's a Olympic gold medalist

2:51:18 There's a great comic, Greg Warren, who's so funny. and you're like, when you find out that, You have to be a strong strong person a different kind of human gold without having a point scored on him No one can even score a point on you That clicked on for me early in comedy. He was a warrior. There's tough guys in kickboxing. You obviously know much more about this than I would, but Dagestan.

2:55:38 there and he's a striker he's like a stand-up guy i mean he has a ground game as well but he's known And I think there's something about that khabib has taken over yeah and he's basically the the coach and now Khabib has taken over. I love seeing a fighter. play dnd you go guys hold on my just like to live in my head my sarlacc got murdered by a war party

2:57:19 Yeah, he wants to spend his time helping others. He beat his trainer to death. Oh, yeah That was the thing that they said that they had kept dogs and they would feed people to dogs Yeah. Always always so you got a yeah party goers and friends alike into specifically so that the animals could witness him assaulting women. No, it's a different link. because it was a really old article.

3:00:42 Like, he assaulted watch him when he was deflowering virgins. Meaning their faces were untouched, but they were pummeled until they could hardly stand up. Oh in all those tales of a king and he has an evil son like sometimes it's even a good king but the Then had to stand and watch the animals devour two young men by the time they were finished and deliver them to Radwania.

3:04:02 Ahmad watched as the students frantically looked for a way of escape Like this goes on and on and on and on there's a shitload of those stories. He was a serial killer Iraq the second time? The second Iraq war didn't break out. What do you think that would be like power struggle right imagine the son's Who they got fucking Billy. Yeah. There's ever a justification to just kill someone when you find them those guys just give about seven examples

3:07:07 Yeah that you fought for God damn it another fucking king Right next to him like how crazy this is they have like the you know the the the civilians everybody but they but you think of that third generation of everyone else and entitled raised and go off with his head. Oh, you, sir, have insulted the king. gotta there's like a there's a balance yeah but there's a balance of power and you can't have too

3:10:01 And also no one's going to disagree with you. Just get it done. Jamal Khashoggi was a reporter for the Washington Times, or the Washington Post, rather. So imagine this is happening today, with all the internet and all the ability to talk about this, And then just go to another town. Became a job. Horse thief. talk about they didn't have a national database like the like didn't have right they weren't

3:11:50 Cause he's like, I'm up in New Jersey. I can get away with this. They're trying to steal people's crypto coins. It's like digital crime. You were signing in on your Apple TV. I'll rat on four people I know. I guess in a desire to make it more convenient for you that you could watch it on your phone but podcast is perfect because it's just a conversation like you can tune in tune out

3:14:10 Have you ever thought about- you were told from you know what i mean right yeah oh and just put it in the great book of And then you're coming back It's the memory, You smoke a lot of marijuana. Boxing matches I can talk about boxing matches from the 80s when I was young I'm a very but even then sometimes I get it They have South Park now. They were on top of the fucking world.

3:16:15 Yeah, it was, talking to Ari about that, But he was also very hands-on with who got the show and Roy Wood Jr. rules. well, if you were smart, are you contractually obligated watching him get fired from a show that he created. I was there when he created it, man That's not what he called it back then. But what I'm saying is that he would name it that.

3:18:18 He'd explain it at the beginning. I did his show and I did this story and work this story out in the middle of the act on his show on youtube it was fun yeah it was um but the thing is like it didn't make any sense Cable had such a grab on did you watch the season of... I was a little skeptical. I need more. More! Yeah. Yeah, you just wait for it. You have to wait. Yeah. Ozark is, and I got to the end. I was like no more more

3:21:22 you know it's gonna be you want to brother Philly at Helium SiriusXM Love doing the Yeah 100%. Bye.