Joe Rogan Experience #1825 — Ali Siddiq Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! I've had Cuban cigars, and I know they're supposed to be better. I like, I like it, I like said, eh, nine ounce. There was a documentary, how to mix wine And one of the Koch brothers, someone was like going through their collection, went into the whole family of it, like the family, one of the brothers had stolen a bunch of money out of a bank and like hundreds of millions of dollars, right?

2:50 First, he started going to auctions and buying up really expensive wine. so I'm going to sell some of my choice wines to Sotheby's. Ah, Cuban cigars. or at least tried to put it on, Ken Griffith Jr. sneakers. on the inside lip. I don't know. like do you live like you're more likely to die. The people in the back live. Like, do people say, oh, Joe, I thought you was, I heard you was in a plane accident.

6:12 And then you get out of a box, a first class box, I got to walk back up that way to get out. You go through the locker room. tactics and strategy but goddamn leaving is a pain in the dick when there's 22 000 people trying to and I'll just be pissed. That's what it is. They just paid for it. that the homeless person stunt double i'm the real loser here sir the thing about a about a fake Rolex is, though, they can make a fake Rolex exactly like a real Rolex.

10:07 every little mechanical piece inside that moves, that um that people it's hard to find it's the silver one with the green face it's a oyster 41 Oh, yeah. They always complain about, not always, but sometimes they complain about, it's a double standard. for the shit you put on in there. Easily. I think it's work. say yo listen you got to get you a pair of hokas and was saying he saw you when he got them tell

13:31 and he said all right i said listen before we get in here i'm we getting a deluxe we're getting the I've called him and he showed up with no problem. I ain't fucking with you come in here I'm talking to him the whole time, Right when he getting the cucumber rub between his toes and all that, this whole experience you can see it she sawing him she was like

15:56 I'm like, he'll be back without me. Some people. and you've never been to Cincinnati before Me because if I'm going to the movies, I want the Twizzlers. my popcorn jalapenos. in the movies sometimes, but most of the time I'm just in there relaxing. And I be on high alert too in the movies sometimes, you know, what would I do? For 40 minutes. because in Houston we have a street, Uvalde,

19:15 Why is it no security? You're getting like eight year olds, 10 year olds. it's a suicide run run i think some i think some of them feel like they're gonna live and somebody It's this desire of sensationalism that a lot of these people have. Where's the money getting out? Exactly. Set up whatever you can do to protect people. we be the police of the world we can't even police our own backyard how do i have a i have a plan

23:24 So whatever your situation is, whether it's mental health, And you ask people, what are their interests? You're not letting them out of this program And you invest in the businesses in that manner. you could put a massive debt in it. The only way to remedy this Why did this person stay? Why did this person do this? Because if they were handicapped, they was crippled.

26:06 ratio, if our waste ratio say it's a misinformation The human being. Is the most important commodity on this planet. Yes. They don't want to help themselves. Why am I not doing that? I want to get I want to get it There's not that many of us. Yes. Oh, man. Oh, I'm on Yeah. work towards you think about that when you're putting your bits together you're editing them

32:07 Gary and I'm sitting there in fucking amazement I'm like yeah I'm like yo this And when he's getting ready to go out and we talking and I'm like, my last words like, yo, man, just go and just do what you do. in an aspect of affect me or live from Sunset Strip sunset strip elephant in the room And that's fine. Yeah. Carlin, And then other people. Cosby, then everybody else after that can sort that shit out.

36:57 killers you want to kill two and if you're trying to develop a story and it's a story about going to about this is not happening. it's like then I started thinking like he, I've always said this, It's like if I see you, And I was like, oh, that's rude as shit. Wednesday night, Ron White had his friend. You got to be a fucking touring, rock solid, like set up punchline, bam, bam, bam, good

40:01 I'm like, oh, my God, I got to get out of this room. I wanted to leave. Man, it's weird because me listening, first, big up to Ron White. i'm like no i'm cool i got i got my feature marcus wildly i'm cool he's like just hear me out I'm like, I can't even get my yes together. just wanna so I I get there and i'm i'm already trying to get this together now i'm i'm going out and i'm gonna watch this is wrong white

43:37 and he's watching from the beginning. yo, you can go a little deeper in that story, get to right when i right when i walked in okay Okay. You missed the chaos. It's impossible. in another state of mind You came up with notes and panicked. Because he came in the background. That's how I introduce him. destroyed that lady that ruthless little motherfucker there is no one alive

46:55 just killing her the elephant in the room. Who would just ask for a goddamn guest spot? People still laughing at the first joke. And I'm gonna bring you up. Surf cuz I put I put a hundred foot wave on your ass. Yes, and But for that person that did that set and bombed, Who's on the lineup? His timing, his facial expressions, the power. And Martin Lawrence is throwing lightning bolts.

50:30 You know how many comics wouldn't say that they went behind somebody that was just fucking an absolute monster. You're fucked. and didn't tour as much It taught me how to cut all the bullshit out. And back then, he might have been number one. Tony Roberts. And I remember being at a spot and if he was like yo And I said, okay. Because he's like, yo, he don't.

54:07 this motherfucker killing me. was like right behind the stage loud-pitched ghetto girl you gotta go out. The Coconut Grove Improv is where I saw Joey Diaz Damn! It's people dead in here. Like, it's like... It was chaos. that shit is for Damon Wayans and at the end of the weekend I'm like, no, I'm right. Bobby called me in the room You know what the fuck I'm saying.

57:08 And Bobby was going out doing his closer first. Not fucking finna bury me Dilly dally I won't Get the fuck out of here. And when they would go on the road, like local shit in Boston would kill at 100%. You go on the road, it was 30%. they lived in boston they stayed in boston and they got trapped they got trapped by local It's about life. It's good.

59:26 If I'm watching someone on stage and they're in a fuck, I'm like, I'm there, I'm there. Yeah, it is. happen so the people who saw it on Saturday for Comedy Central and Eric is a it it looks like that was one of the things and especially when somebody notices it In Phoenix? It's so good. It's some comedy clubs that I think that I've set up so perfect.

1:02:32 That's a great one. and see how many specials we can shoot these clubs and shoot a new 30 minutes in each one. in each one of these great film clubs I've never played it. It? I've never played it. I'll call Wendy today. like these are clubs that people don't talk about. the comedy zone in Charlotte amazing club DC Improv. Oh, it's an amazing club. Amazing club.

1:04:55 Yeah. is one of the great clubs. So they moved it out of the Hard Rock? Cobb's Comedy Club. It's a great place, but it's not perfect. Like where? what it is Shomsburg yeah oh that's kind of Chicago it's uppity as shit it's like suburbs I like, I like some of the old nostalgia clubs too. and it feels like they still smoking in the room. That was amazing.

1:08:58 or something like that. To be a headliner and touring the road and being able to work these fucking amazing clubs like the Punchline, like Zany's. That I'm very very comfortable in I think they move in the building as well. I think they did something different there. a little warmer and just go in and fucking crush it yeah like yeah they got good audiences in

1:10:39 Yeah, it is. And we went next door. Not Hank Aaron. like that like look at the way he's dressed no it can't be got to be. Seems like it's from another time. what's it like one time one time and dana was the this is the first time that she was the lead car And they have enough stuff in their trailer to rebuild a car. he like he lapped him he like he's fucking last last but the incredible thing was Ray Lewis did the startup,

1:14:40 and they were all their attorneys. across the river like it was no hotels in town I was trying to stay at the I want to see the chaos. I want to see the chaos on acid and he's all fucked up and they're drinking all day and you know and Hunter's So that was... So it was like the same time. Yeah, I think it's like 100. and it becomes a thing. Like this kind of shit.

1:18:31 from the original It could have been raining. the shit ah that's so unnecessary that's so unnecessary but that's he wrote i wonder if and they pull up in I don't know all this shit, but I don't have on underwear. ramp up the cocaine so that is that how Mardi Gras started I think a question and you in the club, just a leaf on. It's insane in this spot.

1:21:44 And it's right off the beach beach and it's like this shit Like, I never came back downstairs. and I was like, They know how to party So it's like just put 12 football fields together. partied. It had to be a million people. Like, I don't know what I was doing. Look at that lizard. This is a neighborhood. This shit is insanity. Oh, my God. And they represent the neighborhood.

1:24:59 Look at the size of that thing. It's incredible. look at the size of that thing. You did a movie there? Like he um in his building. Yeah, it is house like he was written his house out in the tenant killed him They were doing no rules fights in the 1940s. What do you mean? Oh, boy. And then I already know it because he don't know how much he goddamn weigh.

1:28:36 You know my schedule. What do you weigh? Probably weight come in at 310.10 and that's gonna be the worst day because I know, definitely has to be in order your fucking neck to the side that you didn't realize. Like, all this shit is bad. And I say, well, we're doing headgear, no headgear. And there's a real argument that it causes more of a rotation of the head

1:31:10 Like is this someone talks shit and you're ready to do it? But I think I'm easing up on him because people, I'll be like, you need to let some things go. You gotta be with somebody who wanna to go. That's the thing. You got to be with somebody who want to box and who want to fight. Now it becomes a fight. I gotta get my lick back. if they're cool with you and you're cool with them you could just spar and you touch them you touch

1:33:18 Victor Ortiz is still fighting? So this just happened. Victor Ortiz was a world-class fighter at one point in time I think I think um and i think that sometimes because it's a mental game it's like it's also you're looking for breaks that I mean is the end of his career if i'm guessing 35. man so when that floyd fight happened he had to be in his Shit

1:37:00 Oh did you see like, yo, for millions of dollars, I ain't shit he held up the card in between rounds you walk floyd walked around with the card he put on No. with him like just go up and put your hands up just for muscle memory alone he'll destroy you I think Jake would probably be the better fight. Yeah, he put it on him. not on that level but I think he was too big and he was I'm telling you it's it's a part in that

1:40:29 He does exercises where they put these he talked about it on the podcast where they do these uh these pads It's painful, but apparently it has a big effect Like you can't show that and you have to respond. I was like, who the fuck is that? Brown is a huge 6'8 man that was fucking he was huge it was another guy on the And he's this Italian dude. they had universal weights on this particular unit

1:43:40 Everybody was like, man, fuck y'all. He was like, man, my mama died. Being a street pharmaceutical rep, which is very frowned upon. sanctioned legal action yeah and not only that you can hire a lobbyist yeah It's not addictive. I don't think so. fentanyl me um I look back and I and I noticed that I wasn't that type of I never understood a couple things in that life.

1:48:09 Some people, they just, they get caught up in numbers. And the cartels don't give a fuck. you're dead. That's the fentanyl deal that's the fentanyl deal like fentanyl that know it seems like it can't be right but if the folks that are just listening at And then 0.2 of carfentanil. I think that comics should be the most healthiest people. You know you in a lot of these clubs you eat not the club you eating everything fingers. Yeah

1:51:55 it's like he's a shadow of himself. you know, I know there's a video out there of him on David Dow used to tell me stories This is a 36-minute recording of it without video. Every time I was alone, every time I was alone Every time I was convinced My life can't be changed. There's one thing that doesn't change, and that's your need for God. I'm going to tie my hands.

1:54:51 And now I repent for it. to just, you're driving sometime and I happen to cross your heart of your minds because I'm out there praying for the body of Christ to pray for me because I need you I have one spiritual friend out there. And they're nothing but the law. I don't need to know about being saved. You say, well, why don't you go to different churches out there? I've tried, and they're nothing but the law.

1:56:17 Your little list of rules doesn't cut it because you can't. He's that. Amen. But it ain't going to be done by rules. It's going to have to shake them. And you are changed. Dead dudes getting fucked in the ass by gay guys. Was riding on the line And you had to testify and you had to make a commitment, if it was a final answer, what would you do? still in you because i mean imagine if you were in that tent watching that guy perform like that

1:59:21 What's the show that comes on that's about about the preachers he remind me which show um Righteous Gemstones. Oh, it's. Oh my, you can't stop kind of high rolling Joel Those guys make so much money. You know, that hot dog fat. Yes, that's the guy. T.D. Jakes. for my friend Andre. about knowing what you have. I'm trying to get this horse under control and I can't control it.

2:02:54 what was you doing with the horse? He said, I rode him in a And his whole point was, I didn't know what I had. Oh, who is this? He got the Beyonce shit. bothered me about the alt comedy scene the alt comedy scene specifically in LA they didn't want say a lot of like obscure references to be clever. It's a weird dynamic. And I'm not giving them that.

2:06:32 It's stand-up comedy. of what you feel like comedy is. It's like if you go to see live music, They don't want to hear anything slow. And I died several deaths Let me tell you the funniest shit. And he said some shit in there that's so fucking hysterical. yo, look, some shit fails. I'm like look man and just like black comics. That shit is garbage, son.

2:11:37 Get what you actually need to be. you weren't going to what they could just go to politics, So as a comic, the joke is hilarious but you need this you don't have this fucking lineage of shit that helps you develop. And you see the Because, yo, And you're like, oh, it was the crowd. Some things that you can do maybe after you got them, It wasn't bad.

2:14:56 I need that heat. Houston Improvs like Dallas in Addison you know all of I used to think he hated Like you're like the one for him. and fucking destroy this room He's like, yo, I know you're going to be fucking great. And I had on all black. like hey you know and Bill came and said It used to be Spellbinders before it was the improv. Like, if somebody tells you that you great up front and you never, you'd never strive to be better than that like even with with myself like i do an album or i do a special and i want the i want the

2:19:49 about getting body slammed in a fight. what happened after that you fucking lost it's like your shoe coming off in a fight you fucking How do you have a desire? comedian that's just in a town by himself existing in a vacuum yeah they're never it's it's a lot of It's a what's more accepted regular people I'm just like, they waiting on something. They're agents or managers.

2:23:23 They're not just trying to have fun. There's a pretentiousness to it that's funnier and they don't even care they don't care they don't they're not just trying to have fun there's a pretentiousness to it that's more new york has got a hardness to And Willie D and Bushwick Bill. phenomenal that our first because Bun is Like these are people that's from Houston that this whole,

2:25:19 Of the Houston rappers on the source and I remember walking through New York I Like, that was a big—and that shit said, don't mess with Texas. look at the overall picture with Lil' O that's the ESG. Oh man, look at, man, it's a great photo toom like it's a song by this guy named dmd oh man look at man it's a great photo too it's the fucking squad that's on that's on jay prince's ranch really yeah man it's like

2:27:27 Billy D. Wiley, influential and then we still You watch The Winning Game? It's all over the place. I wanted to do it in Houston. Kevin Iso has a show on Showtime like I never try to misrepresent my city when I'm performing on TV or anything whatever you're doing, I'm like, yo, it's fucking Houston. Like that shit is a driving force. with fucking one of the greatest comics of all time which is um Franklin Aj job he was the fly in the car wash and

2:31:50 Like I would love to be in a movie like taxi Louis C.K. already did that. I'm hoping that my... Fuck those awards, though, man. Because he talked me into doing it. I was like, to get this shit off. He's like, I got the taste of blood in my mouth Like I doubt their experience. else because my face was like this i'm not clapping for that like i'm not gonna and

2:36:23 adopting children. my experience with things were that people who was in a certain lifestyle that i know anything I'm just saying my thoughts after me because I had a thought about But this was a discussion about whether or not gay people should be able to adopt children. I didn't I wasn't rallying for anything. being abused I think that that's the the extreme that people put it on like I saw a dude who was

2:39:35 Like, I never thought that nor did I ever say that. what and what am i gonna be doing while you're knocking my teeth down my throat like what you gonna what I'm what am I gonna be doing with you about your Do you think that I am an honest man? I happened to watch New Rules with Bill Maher last Friday. Something I was tired came from the show, Exhausted.

2:42:08 And then Sam Jay's show comes on right after that. of understanding whatever they choose And the lady that she says it to agrees and said, I think it's a lot of people that lobby for power. and a person that may not know him because the person who knows me who wanted the special So this is expected backlash from you doing the podcast and saying what you said,

2:44:58 What else is he going to say? And you don't have a pamphlet of information that I can go to to explain anything. right now. My mind's on something else. I don't know but oh he must be in the band I don't know what his situation he could have bad skin I don't know what the situation is but the quickest thing I can say right now with her in this elevator right with this with this guy i don't know what his

2:47:09 You're just laughing. But, man, I'll never forget Mr. Reggie ran the day center, I was like damn Mr. Reggie And he gets the best shit. So, and Keith is in our barbershop I'm going to say some wild shit to Keith. And he's not the only gay person because we're not violent towards him said the shit. You think there's nobody gay in my family? anybody's feelings if

2:51:09 Fuck no. No. The manufacturing consent. Because he had an opinion about, and by the way, that's an opinion shared by a lot of medical doctors. Everything. making children like this is a different thing like you're adopting a child but this is not the They try to figure out what works. pros, cons Some people got sick, some people didn't. Like, okay, were you asking people to get vaccinated five years ago?

2:54:55 I don't think they're thinking about that way is so much better. You'll get millions more views, millions more views. It'll be accessible Sometimes you got to learn for yourself. because they weren't vaccinated and other kids were vaccinated and i'm like what 12 year old COVID. And my kids are fine. never she never caught it and they had it and my my kids are my kids are fine my kids both got it and uh they were fine they got over it easy one kid just got a headache

2:58:47 And I told my wife, I will fucking move here. with people are so quick to give somebody a phobia yeah or diagnose Your kid is going to be this good. colors and numbers long fellow that had a gifted and talented program they both were in gifted and talented But when people get upset about things, you have to think about it. Like they say, Where does the United States rank in It's pretty low in education. It's pretty low

3:02:53 Your kids go to school and eat what type of fucking food? Like, you taught me how to borrow. When you type it in, it says we're number one. 2022, they'd give some test to 15-year-olds. Probably the education group of the United States of America. and what your social media is but you can type in and on Twitter it's nice to be able bye everybody