Joe Rogan Experience #1843 — Paul Virzi Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. always has to dress nice you know very materialistic a man needs a watch a man needs To this day, the story's not changed, and he told me he wished he never saw what he saw. sitting where i could throw a rock or shoot my gun at it there is a fucking and the way he said but then he goes he goes then I freaked out cuz I don't know if this thing's

2:48 And I know what the fuck I saw. Look at this. and she goes she goes i saw that she goes i she goes yannis i saw that we we saw that that thing He said this thing was running on something called Element 115. comes out the back and it pushes the rocket forward right this thing bends space and time Yeah. it's out there and he's just fucked up by it you know he's i would imagine what do you think they're

6:35 But yet we're moving this technological age of sophistication Think about how many billions of years it took for us to become what we are, right? Yeah. What do you think they're doing? I wouldn't think that they would care, but I think they're just watching us. Yeah. human beings are some sort of a product of accelerated evolution like they they took us

8:58 There's an animal, it's like a human. And they were three feet tall. they didn't find out about this until, 2003. But not human. They're all fucking muscular and weird-looking. They're not like us. No, we're fucking strange. Yeah And he goes, then your fucking mother yells across the barbecue, heymmy tell everybody about the flying saucer we We gotta fuck, he's a lunatic.

12:16 I don't think so. Now you can't fucking, can't touch it. Daryl Strawberry, Doc Gooden. Well, baseball players, that's probably one of the most performance You don't feel the injury. So you have a little Barry Bonds was so, and he was at SNL, And I got my son into it and shit. They just pour vodkas. That's who it is. baseball player you've ever seen live in all of the years you've been in baseball?

15:03 And he was. That guy. He was like a fucking, he was just, you could tell that these guys were just different. I knew he was, you know, you see him on TV. He goes, I never, never, and he did. Look at him. And he just goes, I'm not here to talk about the past. Fuck that. Those guys, if you think about it, they made baseball more interesting, though. People are getting better.

18:01 That's why. Why is it that it's got to be that baseball's a national sport? It's wild what he did. That's what he looks like today Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's so weird, dude. Awards. of a darker man, but he's got a, well, Because my kids are not ready for that. and their self-esteem and then allow them to make choices. I think the best thing that you could do

21:37 You know, it's like when your boss isn't looking Like, they don't want to rebel. Like, I love them and I treat them. I father, like I love them and I treat them. When we say we love you and you're the fucking best, you are. And I always tell my son when he feels bad, I go, well, it's normal to feel like that. They're just like my son too my son is is very very good

24:00 They don't want to do but they're just doing it to be because I did dumb shit because I come from a broken home like no i used to bomb i sucked i hated myself i this i that like i think all that stuff is very And they feel like they're never going to have them. came from a lot of years i would walk into you know and you know it's funny and you know this

25:54 looked up to that, I opened for Burr at the garden in the round and dude it was like She's like Greek and Sicilian. bringing their kids to the Got on top of the octagon. He's my son he started pointing Wow yeah yeah that I my son wouldn't be able to you know he was confident that's That's so much extra weight. I'll be honest with you joe i i've been doing this for

28:21 And you know what? up and I looked at my phone and the review started to come in and you know I in like industry's mind, man, I just called her. the industry there's no industry anymore it's not real right it's not real this people can see how good your shit is that that exists still but it only exists with us we are That's the real industry now. You don't have to dance for somebody that's never lived in your shoes.

31:16 And so, oh, I mean, I told them to wear that shirt. Like, you know, and it's really, yeah. Like adversity gives you like little doors where you're like, hey, you know, you don't like what you're doing. What are you trying to do? what are you ultimately trying to do well what's your I didn't drop out of college to do anything else. And my kids, you know, yeah.

33:50 it? It was be a professional comedian. you know like who's to tell you that you can never figure it out i don't know if it's hard And they think they're better than they are. that feeling that sucks is a motivational tool. And you're like, oh, that is my fuel. It was fucking tight. I think you should bring that back. But then when you start to really craft a joke and you start to watch a joke.

37:48 Which is a bad thing. in there. and we just made eye contact You just said I killed. I'm headlining, And they got the local radio guy opening. I'm fighting through it. There's like seven of them, and I went in to go watch him for five minutes, I started to win them, but there were two people in the crowd that were smiling and laughing was up there I was struggling they you know and I was trying to find it and

40:34 And I just remember being there. And I'll never forget that moment. All he's doing is talking. And I'm just, I'm 10. accepts an award and then does some stand-up. I think so. He just, you know. trying to get my shit right, and then the whole thing shut down. Come on down. Ron White And Roseanne went up with her was at least when she got couple sets with him or something, but I don't know

44:21 message from Roseanne Barr. Like every now My parents had this brutal, weird, awful divorce in the early 80s. they would it was always around and like that's the one thing even though this horrible shit went down it was like they had good senses of humor and and it was like so Eddie and It's a totally different kind of comedy. I think I'm going to screw it up.

46:35 He goes, I don't know the guy. If this bear was sometimes an accountant. So I love shit like that. And it's like a drug. And I'm talking about like when you see somebody, because it's the only job, And I felt bad, Joe, even promoting the shows. And it kind of felt good to just, I did a one-nighter there. And it's an amazing thing. You're meandering through your fucking shitty set.

49:02 Yeah. Do you watch them all? No, no, I don't watch home I love that. And as much as I love New York City, man, new york city's new york city i'm gonna tell you man But that's just, you know, what Ari said it best. that's really, really over the top. Like, don't just fucking get upset at a premise. But if you interrupt it in the fucking beginning, you're going to ruin everything.

51:47 I go, no, that's not true. She was at the front door of the White House. He gets all the way to the door, opens it. That's how they caught the guy. I go, because I shouldn't be guarding the front door of the White House. and you would just release them if somebody went running through. I'm like please if anybody's a cunt I was joking around. No, bring it.

55:06 Like, I'm not doing that. Yeah, but that's why you should get the fuck out of New York. there's it's a healthy level of liberal you know they're just kind people progressive But like being it's fucking really abusive to call somebody crazy because they don't agree or they like somebody that you don't like. What he had dude he had drawings. He was showing me

57:36 Yeah, I was like, fuck it. but he's I just I think he's grappling with a level of creativity that most of Or, you know, that's my only thing. It's because Obama called him a jackass. And I'll support the next guy. And Trump is just sitting there listening to him as Kanye's ranting. Give me some volume. You're 68 years old? Oh, geez. Don't these motherfuckers have silent cameras?

1:00:45 They say, Trump is just sitting there I mean, of Kanye's phone, it's all zeros. What, he went like this? That does look like a flower. you man like and i'm serious dude i'm not and i say this before i'm not just saying this because You know, like when I'd see little Fats O'Brien stelter talking shit about me on CNN, it made me laugh. But it's like, what goes on is like people love to pile on people and they love to try to get people fired.

1:03:30 It's just because people have the ability to enact change and it only really works if We're going to leave him alone. the Dave Chappelle thing pissed me off more than anything. Because first of all, He's never saying there's something wrong with these people, And then a bunch of people chimed in, including other comics. It was weird. It might have been Bobby Kelly said, we should be like we're in the mob.

1:05:57 Generally speaking, they're not doing well. a lot of times those people are doing it and they're they're coming at it from you know, go get it. Yeah. It's like, it's, I feel the same way about music. I feel the same Yeah. What is that old, is it Thomas Jefferson who said that? instead you're out there killing it and you're upset because someone's killing it more than you

1:08:29 because I would be – the knock on me was always, oh, Verzi's too positive. Name, name. insecure as could be, but you know what? It's not even close. what they call the cutter. Everyone's like, do you have the best pitcher? and that i'm a fucking happy guy and i'm kind of content with my life and my family and shit and hell. It's really projection of what people have going on with themselves.

1:11:22 Like, I remember there was some comics that were making fun of this guy He was making fun of Brewer. He's being entertaining. You know? Because he's one of the greats. Yeah. lot of joy in yeah in watching things get better yeah no absolutely and and sometimes you need No, people will rob you of your time. It's like he's complaining in a comedic style on purpose. Right. Like that's

1:14:41 Well he's got an interesting muscle Yeah, because he's always got this thing like he's aware that people are listening get after doing the podcast. You're doing a show with nobody there. Holy shit did he kill. So it forces that muscle. Because just conversation skills, like you develop conversation skills from talking to people. Thinking about what they were gonna say next and I saw it

1:17:56 but i think a lot of those people don't have other things like families and like things in their life You just have none. He's amazing with kids. How good of a dad would that guy be? Because that's what the business calls for. My mind needs other things to do. I can't just concentrate on one thing. I'm always, Are you one of those guys when you're home, like you'll build a deck and shit?

1:20:07 Yeah, I can. Do you play? is is your score getting lower and and joe it is the most mental because one inch wrong one turn Are you? This place is big. golf is a four just don't call when you coming home outdoors. It's like a fucking guy party. Yes. No, no. Do we know? Well, you get that in black bears. Mammoth Mountain. That's less dangerous. Yeah, if you're near we had a black bear going to my wife's garden and he ripped the flick the Hulk dude

1:24:10 Sorry, what are you talking about? Dude, that was... That's kind of dumb for him to do that, though, dude. Yeah, when you see a bear with a cub, just get the fuck out of there. Get the fuck out of there. My wife is a strong woman and does not, yes. Are you a girl? But most women, they're watching those true crime shows. That's another level. a world with no war which is wild if you think about it i guess technically speaking if you go

1:26:55 Like every animal. Like Russia's trying to physically take Ukraine. Like, in other words, Russia could do it if they wanted to do it. And where can this go? when Oliver Stone went to interview in this state of isolation you know what? The really fucked up thing is that we need them for stuff what about that WNBA player that's still there? And I just saw that, and it's like, that's not good, man.

1:30:25 mean she's a fucking professional athlete people that love her probably It's like she had a kilos of cocaine or something. charges following her arrest more than to convey our very deep That's horrible, man. And what do you think they're keeping? Biden could get her out. And I'm not saying that shit. does well. Yeah. Nobody would have given a shit.

1:33:05 Look at that. He was arrested in 2008 So that's what they want. They make more money playing in Europe. Yeah? Is World War III coming? But my favorite place on Earth is Venice. just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and they fart everywhere and buy stupid t-shirts and then get back on the boat. The water got cleared up after COVID and fucking- and my father is very he loves dressing up so there was one night where people were throwing

1:36:39 Kim and Tony and Brian Simpson Brian's probably here right now and then you That's what you do. One thing he said, Joe, I never heard. but they fuck because he likes that. Do I owe you money? The last person that looked at me like that. wouldn't she wouldn't say shit to anybody are you italian yeah mostly yeah three quarters italian She was a gambling addict.

1:39:44 It was in New Jersey, Newark. outside and she fell and she was there for hours before anybody knew. My grandfather came home, And here I was. Like there was still some bakeries in that area. Ricans and the like. He just was lost, you know? you can still do things because you can be like your grandmother. I don't know if you honest talked about the Greeks are very neurotic

1:43:45 i was just getting over nothing over i i started feeling like something was wrong with me physically and i'm on stage having a monster set and i'm and and I'm having an out-of-body to take so I went to the scan and I'm going through a brain tumor and I was like in the on my mind and it was and it was a really deep bad depression man real fucked up and it was at

1:46:15 yeah it definitely helped a little bit and started to slowly get me out of it when i did it so it was And I had friends, good friends, it goes to that with with the anxiety and the ocd and uh and it's something that i think is in my So now I'm really sad because I'm just going to live in this. that's what uh actually janice said that that's what he thinks it's from when in 1997 my mom got

1:48:12 I came home. she's all right she's and my mother was like pale white on a gurney and uh she didn't want me going to understand there's people that are like super super successful that are just a mess and it And then it just triggers it. It got him out of the funk and then he started doing well in his life Yeah, no, I had to take something for the OCD because I would get stuck in the thought.

1:51:02 I didn't realize it, but my mother – I had my first panic attack in the third grade and i thought i was gonna die i was in third grade yeah reason why i talk about it a lot is because when you get a message from somebody going hey man you But what you said is running and doing things like that. Because there's something that happens to your body when your body's too sedentary. I don't think it's normal and natural

1:52:53 Like that's one of the things that made me like so much nicer person is like sticking to this day she's like there's two use there's you before you started training That's true, too. But when I get it out I get out in healthy productive ways and then my body stays healthy There's that feeling. My stepdad came in, and he was a great dude. They rarely even argue about things.

1:55:56 That's got to be cool to have your mom out here. You don't have to worry about the cannolis and shit? That's my favorite. So the Traeger grill, they're fixing the vents for it now to make sure. you know, that's like the the it's it's about Rome like his his food is all Roman spired and Oh, that's cool. Yeah, that's the Mother Wolf. Oof. Like what, what, what is offered out here other than, I mean like the comedy scenes,

1:58:28 The thing is there's no traffic. It's like it's not that many people. have zero attention span for bullshit. It's just, I think growing up in a place where the winters fucking suck is really good for your character. Yeah, there's something to that. I have a guy in my neighborhood. Oh, dude. Don't, you know? He goes, hey, Paul, how you doing? I loved that because it was a quick thing. It was like old man shit. Old man shit. Oh, dude, I'm in my 40s. But I loved it. I loved that because it was a quick thing.

2:01:34 but then all of a sudden, right? Well, there's a thing, Yeah. You know, dude, you see who they drafted last night all the time we're just trying to talk yeah yeah yeah that's actually how I met Burr because I'm a New York guy. I've ever seen. this is what their defense state college right after joe paterno statue came down and shit and i was at state and they were

2:03:33 And I go, it's the carpet here. I like cucumber water downstairs. TJV on the fucking. You're right. and it was too late for me to check in the other hotel. but we used to get into sports arguments that didn't make sense, but it was like camaraderie. MMA guys love it to death. I love Bobby Knuckles. man, I thought I did, you know, but I guess in that you got to beat the champ, you got

2:06:05 But if you win the fight, you win the fight. A 10-8 round is a round where someone gets dropped. You know, that's like, so like, because sometimes guys will win a 10-9 round and who fucking Do you, did you think that that fight was as close? It's a very close sense. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah. Did you think that that fight was as close?

2:07:47 And it got down to the wire. I'm stuck. Yeah, he lost to Max, then he beat Chan Sung Young, and then lost to Volkanovski. He caught him in a mounted guillotine and almost had him with his face battered like that it looked like it was over And that's what I miss with boxing, man, boxing. But it's just – the UFC is just gotta you gotta wait but it's just the UFC's

2:09:49 We go in the backyard and we yell. A lot of deer out there, right? headlights. Yeah, because they break It's like the expression, deer in the headlights. You see all of them. Beautiful, man. But when I hear something like moaning and shit. I'm not built for this shit, dude. In Iowa? He's the guy who taught me how to shoot a bow. So either you're going to bring in mountain lions and wolves, or you're going to hunt them. Because if you don't,

2:12:37 It's like there's a lot of value in the hunting them. It's a lot more effective. That's a chip shot. I mean, he rides in on electric bikes so you don't leave scent on the ground. Yeah, it's complicated. Yeah, he's got an incredible place. See, that's a motherfucker who could just go and survive. Fuck. That is real heavy duty stuff. deer to hunt because they evolved to get away from tigers. So they are the fastest fucking

2:16:09 and so he leans with his bow And you watch the arrow just right behind the shoulder, if you're a target archer, right? hits a perfect 60 yard shot. There's a long learning curve Just getting it fucking off. You know, you hear your own voice. and all these bands would play there And I went up there with three friends, nothing written. I go, put me here next fucking Tuesday.

2:19:14 It was my first time. I was like, I got it. No, no, no. Yeah. It was terrible. And this was a brand new gig that he had. Like, you would call up a place hey do you want to do a comedy night and Because I think when you bomb there's some bad parenting and alcohol abuse. a snake tattoo on the cheek of her butt oh yeah I know Tony I go there. brought you guys he goes uh tv's on tvs are on dude people are eating they didn't even know there

2:23:52 the couch in Indian style in the living room and I just stood in front of a TV And the lady running it goes, you see that picnic table over there? And they would book you in these little weird road gigs all around Boston. He's fucking great. And there was a place where they had a waiting room as the comedy system. Yeah, you could use it. quick because I was worried that the fucking PA

2:26:56 that skilled. So it's like, you know, you're clunky still. And so you have to catch yourself You kind of take a situation that's like not great, but you're in the mood. You want to do it? I had a fucking map and everything was written down on a piece of paper. I had the directions already written out. It's incredible. they're all millionaire billionaires and he goes it you know he goes they kind of like when you

2:29:33 So he goes up and he's fucking murdering. And I said, are you going to talk about race? I mean, they didn't want to. I immediately said something about him. My buddy said he was in the back while I'm shitting on Chris Christie. hey man. So I go, this guy's got a lot of money. so fucking bad that one of the old men go all right like all right and I'm going no no and I

2:31:37 And out of nowhere, he just goes, So did you go on stage nervous? And it was like if a movie, if a director was going, guys, this is going to be really bad for him. I boring? Why was I unentertaining? like if you went up there now today you could probably just go right into some So it just was... Yeah, like his... I think it was just something about him balancing a, I forgot what the joke was, but I know

2:34:21 Yeah, like for certain outdoor things, there are things that, you know, It sucked while it was happening, They're important for comics to hear, too, because a lot of comics have those, and they think, oh, my God, it's over. These obstacles are important. the first heckler that scared you because you're like, Stand-up comedy is one of the most brutal learning processes.

2:36:15 cellar and he just goes all right you people need to be disciplined and he just and he just went Yeah. with Chip, you know? And he'll talk low. And then he went from Opie and Anthony to Jim and Sam. Let me see some of it. married and I think about and Chris Rock comes in he goes on and he goes he goes like a crazy story like that that's what's fucked like he's tapping

2:39:46 like i just think about those guys that dedicated 30 something years and you did they really though That's what makes you never get past that is that attitude that you are. What are you going to do tonight? The guy was nowhere. Do you? Like, someone will teach you how to play guitar. and he's going to try to help with stage prep, whatever. There's people that have started out in comedy classes and it was just like a little foot

2:42:35 And then once you get the bug, right? there's value in that like that's that's where you learn about comedy other than actually doing it told me something he goes andy kin andy kindler and Conan O'Brien heard and they're laughing. So I said, this is what I'm going to do. And the coolest thing is Burr got on stage and he goes, how about Do you write?

2:45:17 Plus, I wouldn't know where to. But I'm not geared like that. on your phone i record them on my phone but you know it's hard to listen back to all of them Fuck, what was it? and you just had this like amazing yeah I think recording is It's like what we're talking about with ranting on a podcast. So for me, if I'm the type that's like, I'm either going to find it or I'm going to get like, I got to get back on stage to get another moment like that.

2:48:49 No, no, no. These kids in like their early 30s, late 20s were kicking my seat. you later and these these dudes get in a truck i start following them because i just i had to get and i said something to the lady i go did they say anything about me like do and and i ended up they went in the line again. and you're i followed him 35 minutes i followed him 35 fucking minutes dude and and as i'm driving

2:51:29 no dude people were like like people said to me like dude you're you followed like 28 year olds I wanted some way for them to know that, like, what they did was, like, they can't just get away with it. For sure. It's a weird way to end a podcast. That guy was kicking my seat and he was laughing and it ruined my movie. right away, like on HBO Max Some people will talk full blast.

2:53:57 But yeah, movie theaters, anytime they always sit near you. It sucks. Well in what way it sucks. Well, I got to be honest man the homeless thing in Austin's not great And that's happening in a lot of cities, but New York too. Oh, well, this was probably like six months ago, so maybe that's it. And I have a lot of land. Ari loves it. They were just like, dude, we got to go to Verzi's fire pit and do mushrooms and stare at the stars.

2:56:02 Because it'll put me in a place. But, you know, I'm just saying. that's moving in infinite space yeah and i freaked out because as a kid growing up you think we're son's bedroom and I woke up I couldn't remember that I had to piss I couldn't I can't fuck with it. I think it's for everybody But I think what gets people is the 45-minute kick in. Yeah, I like it.

2:59:06 And then sometimes I think that's good for you. I think we should all be a little paranoid. No, there's no structure. It makes me appreciate the things that are here. religious but I'm spiritual I think it's very possible there's something greater than us that's that's running this whole And that's what I like about getting high, And a lot of things that I've put out there and I've asked for and I believe in and I've gotten senses and feelings and, you know, whatever it is, whatever people want to say and people, oh, whatever, you know, this and that. But, um, yeah, I, I, I do.

3:02:18 goal. But when you say that, you know, I said some of the shit that I was going to do. And that's Thank you very much for being here, man. And I thank everybody for the kind reviews. Look at that smiling fuck. You been to that? I'll be there the 22nd, 23rd. Appreciate it.