Joe Rogan Experience #1846 — Andrew Schulz Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. But you cut free from the nipple. My pleasure. Bro, I thought he was going to be like Crocodile Dundee when I met him in person. And I think you were like, no, I think he, like, moderates, like, pool levels in Oregon I told him I'm going hunting with him really They're delicious. There's so many of them. Yeah. And that's real.

2:33 Yeah, I know. Yeah. Tourons is a tourist moron. Game over. And then, okay, I do understand the allure of nature. Like, yes, dude, when I was, when I was, I hit you up when I was on my honeymoon with because they're so uncaring about you. Like one of the things that I always get when I'm in the mountains, Does that give you any sort of like a compassion or empathy to the ultra woke that are trying to over care?

5:45 But they think they are. Dolphins have empathy towards and the fishermen would kind of take advantage of it. Yes. They also rape humans. Yeah, that's, well, they do infanticide, right? She has to take care. and they're trying to just get the most laughs and make the story move along. I'm 150 pounds. we're talking oh oh that's what it was like so they're they're slightly vulnerable when they're

9:34 They need to hide because they can't run. So they're like on the highway sometimes like you'll see a fawn like the other day That never happens. Oh, you mean in a domestic situation? Like if something tries to run away from them, they always have this instinct to lock onto It's the same animal, which is wild. Yeah. That's just toxic femininity shit, or masculinity.

11:51 But you do need them. How do we recognize this trait? They might make some bad decisions. And the American people don't really need to know about it. It's kind of like a nice system. They have to be. They have to be. And that, yeah, the American military has done some fucking terrible things. there are people there to love him he's like favorable. Well, it's also they control the media exactly so they're getting the shit propaganda

14:30 It's a great excuse. When they invaded Kuwait. point of inconvenience where you start being okay with dark tactics being taken to return Somebody's fucking loud. Somebody's organization is. The second Even in America, we all say to everybody around the world, and they're Russia needs to let her go. They're not good at that one thing that we like to watch? So those fucking people don't get let out that's the other thing that we do right

17:42 She probably had been. Okay. He doesn't have an accent. It's so funny. So nice to meet you. And I was like, whoa, you were coming on thick with the fucking Asian stuff. He's all in, and he's a great guy, and he's really, really talented. How about volleyball? It's not a law. All a heel does, I mean, you know this, Does the man have to wear heels? They sent that four-star admiral who's a transgender man,

20:44 There's a lot going on there. Maybe. This is- How do they smoke cigarettes like this? What's wild is like people were making movies with that guy just up until like a couple of years ago. Farrow, she's squirrely. bro. Dylan, but how can you? He was a pervy dude. kind of like mitch fatale yes but mitch is playing the character mitch is a character Oh, yeah, yeah.

23:21 Like a woman is 13 and like ancient. ago, like, I don't want to bang these young girls like oh the average person lived to be 30 There are people who lived was probably the same it either killed you like there's a lot of women that are like, that's the one purpose on the earth anymore. I think at one point in time when there was less people, I think the urge and the imperative

25:55 Like the population collapse is- He's making embryos Genuinely. this feeling of bringing life into it because there's this old impulses baked into our DNA Okay. really highly educated yeah yeah he's brilliant he's a couple in Idiocracy that's like really highly educated. You had him on, didn't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My judge. He's fucking the neighbor.

28:19 When people move up in economic status, you have kids, the world shrinks, right? Are they like developing emotionally? That's true. the world. Once the roles dry up, it's like, what do I have to do to stay on the ship? The problem isn't your pronoun. There's so many people. the female coyotes will produce extra offspring in their litter. When you're in an environment like an urban environment and you are stuck on the 405 and

32:17 He thinks like math. Dolphins, the female has to have this baby that she protects for like six, seven years, So the strategy that female dolphins have devised is they become sluts. Yeah. Which is bad. It's like, why are you concentrating on some guy from South Africa? the richest ever. Yeah, he's one of the richest ever. of the ground a day is fucking insane.

34:45 Like they tried to sell that guy a submarine. That's a wild thing to do. You ever do coke? Because I had a friend Yeah. loser. Yeah. I just, I don't know. I don't like the energy on Coke. You know, we weren't trying to change the fucking world. Or be annoying. We're just laughing. Yeah. Well, he's drunk a lot. Chappelle's most- 100 he's like i'm taking a shit and playing the guitar like run it let's go run it is john mayer Like, whatever makes it interesting. He's in a tub singing. The body is a wonderland.

38:12 I don't know if you've ever owned it, but I think that was synonymous with Prince. And there was protests. So it's not like they felt like this never-ending urge to protect the community. And like he wasn't even going to the show. found out who he was and then sends him a message, right? You're a bigot. your pieces. Hope our next meeting is more peaceful. Good night."

41:36 Oh, my God. Who knows? I think that depends on your definition of transphobia. I don't want to mess up the exact words. I get it. No. Yeah. He's not being confrontational. Yeah, yeah, my brother was a Power Ranger. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. Yeah, no thing that's not what her whole thing is her whole thing is that you're not a woman just because you

45:18 people as male or female because you don't woman. They're saying, I feel like a fucking in terms of the most aggressive versions of trans people. The most extreme version of a dude from New York sucks. like but that's what's clickable dude even with my with the fucking special and i'm not trying Media goes after it. So how did this work without naming names?

48:18 it yes okay yeah so you had a deal yep had a deal everything ready to go They saw me live Yes Culture changed You have to look at yourself higher Exactly. It's fun. but you didn't know other people saw. Yeah. Everybody's getting made fun of. people that seek out that kind of humor yes that is all that's the thing it's like is it okay to It stops, I think, August 1st or July 31st

51:21 in the wind. Like, people go, yeah whatever if he could have been easy he could have had fucking no cards and read off the no He's like a tomato. Ever. dude and he's the reason i posted shit on youtube he said in an interview that he wasn't getting that's dope that's dope too that he was the inspiration and then he brought it all around the fucking industry dude like yeah yeah i can it was after that fucking day man it was like so but

55:27 P, because they were doing Your Mama's House Live. I did one of them. thinking about what the fuck I saw yeah Yeah. It's horrific, man. And I was like, I think we can. and it was, yeah, it was just fire. where you can put it out and you have, like, a network. And he don't have to do that. He is the whitest motherfucker that's ever lived Like a corpse

58:10 Like, Amazon's in someone else's hands. It's the biggest independent American company ever. And that's one of the reasons why the United States is... They're spending money and putting She should quit what she's doing. It just sends me a picture of her and next to it is a guy like lifting weights. They were just sitting high like that? You start getting sunspots and shit.

1:00:13 I DM'd Yomi Park afterwards. No, she's got it, bro. Look at those. Yeah. Yeah, big, big, big, big, big. They're not like a tribe lady. It could be a lot of that. Barely. It's like Ghislaine Maxwell. Does she? That's the crazy thing about this documentary. Is that – You hear about the latest guy? shoot yourself you shoot yourself in the head yeah family of Bill Clinton advisor

1:03:35 Vince Foster. When you shoot yourself, this is what happens. You fucking idiots. And it would have incriminated bill right yes corrupt thing there's a lot of people out there yeah you're a shady guy but shady people get She says that flat out, right? Because her, first of all, there's a lot of bad actresses out there. Look, she's an 80-year-old woman.

1:06:24 me listen i think we have to go now one more he said yes sir Bro. that is not my character. I would the guy that they knew did it? Like when you know you fucked up. Republicans get in control. Boy. This is like old school if you think about it. That's daddy issues right there. Dad was probably a shitty dad. a stripper, to say like i don't understand like why it's always on us no matter what happens to the kid

1:10:16 there that were raised by single moms but in some situations there is a It was, I think, Peter Hutchinson. He hates his dad, bro. Oh, okay. That's as soon as he found out that he got COVID, he couldn't sniff kids. I'm golden. so it's like over were you concerned no i sent them help you look i i have sent nurses yeah to is kind of like what you got in trouble for.

1:13:13 And people were dying. they're getting shot i'm like do you know how many police officers are fat it's like 80 percent where you have to use your body of motherfuckers they think they're savage because he was a savage for six months he goes if you're I'm sure he takes naps. not only is his knee his knees are so destroyed that he was running on bone-on-bone cartilage

1:15:36 Nevermind run thousands of miles. and this was like the conventionalism. Combat boots. has started to like warp you met my pops at the wedding and then one of his knees started to warp So long-term memory is still intact. But short-term is still there. been and i wonder if this is like don't remember things yeah like the stress or like he was you through it depends about the economic situation right like if your dad's well off enough so that

1:18:14 Your dad had you when he was fairly old. He's 75 and he just shot a live one in there. This is how we're going to change the world. 50 people who like were affected by you at that age that's amazing i was fucking touching man like that happened and yeah he's saying some things and repeating a couple things but they're also And one of the ways to avoid some of the cognitive decline is to do a bunch of different things.

1:20:20 try to learn new languages. can't let it's like I think it's probably like everything else like if Yeah. Yeah, I think it's good for the mind. Yeah, I really do. It's not like I'm saying that because I'm And you're like, I'm just going to do the things that I'm good at and then that's it. they wanna dance, they wanna eat food. I'm gonna find a joke.

1:23:06 He could remove himself It's just... He just... Grande is not the hardest fucking thing to say, right? What's wrong? I'll show you the difference in who's a comedian here. But I think there's a fucking purity to him. Not that one. It's like weird. The cute little car. you see this with like the kardashians a lot where it's like people can't stop looking at them but

1:26:17 But here's my favorite one. There's an attention thing. He has his fucking garage full of cars. Yeah, I was on the show. Maybe. Probably a little more than that now. Yeah, me too. That's America right there. Yeah, it's beautiful. Look at that fucking car. I mean, it's beautiful. That's America right there. It's America. attached to something i think that you stop judgment because he's not doing it so that

1:29:05 Late night. She was talking about sitting down with Seth Meyers. And maybe a few more people will go see you at a comedy club. He took me on a tour. wheels that it rolls around on metal wheels and when you watch it, that translates. Because he wasn't being authentic. Right. they're clean yeah I think he even has like um isn't there like a way to like

1:32:12 honeymoon i went to amalfi and it was amazing and we'll go and then i went to the isle of capri And when I was on Amalfi, it felt like people were there stupid tommy hill figures yacht with the big flag you need them to know it's your yacht When I see the fucking Saudis ship all their cars to drive them around in London Right? when you see something

1:34:14 The art that you create. It's it's like you're associating yourself with something that has this value and I'm fucking guilty of it for sure But like New York is a finance city. Right. There's like this, there's like this, like my favorite comedian growing up inspired to do and create. obviously if you go around my studio it's filled with art yeah yeah there's this artwork everywhere

1:37:07 like, why I love cars that's made out of symbols. Yeah, yeah. That's not mine exactly, but it's pretty similar. There's an area that is the size of Paris in France. Either way. It's a non-contagious area, non-contiguous area throughout northeastern France. Restrictions within the zone rouge still exist today He does a lot of dope shit with metal. shit that this guy does so i think that we have like a natural attraction to to purity and art

1:40:30 Like I think partially that's why we're drawn to sushi is you see how delicate they're putting together these like a piece of nigiri, right? What? I don't know. But culturally, they're thousands of years old. He lived in Ravello, had this house just overlooked off a cliff, overlooked the bay, and did some So that's from my Instagram page. The people that work there say they have no idea how old the original ruins are.

1:43:18 But? had this it's like Ari Shafir Because it's history. let me fuck kids. And they were? They were fucking kids, ho, ho, ho, more wine. Let me fuck kids. I went to Pompeii. let me see some pictures here. Also, big pasty broads. What is it in her hand? Is that two dudes? Like, it's people banging people. He's eating box, dude. And that's something you could order.

1:46:14 Give me one on the butt and two on the top and suck my cock. Yeah. kids. Everybody's fucking kids. Like every painter has a little kid that they're fucking. Michael Fucking little kids, right? We just don't do it all day long like everybody else, What if, no matter how progressive you are, improve their life and they're looking to improve society and when you you do that over the course of time, and then you take into account surplus and luxury and time.

1:49:19 become too much porn where to a mother and her daughter do porn together with a guy. Right. this physical monkey body and becoming a part of like this cosmic awareness. So how do we do that? When you see aliens, they're almost there. They have three hogs. They have no genitals. Modern man, like the average person that works in an office, their fucking little pot belly,

1:52:05 We're already some sort of a cyborg You know what I mean? I mean, it might have been made by slaves, and it was for sure. watch videos on it, you'd be like, if you just saw, I mean, we The razor. It was downtown LA. And it's such a perfect photo. Look, that's a production truck behind her, a tractor trailer. Oh, look at this. Are we living? No internet.

1:55:38 Isn't that interesting? You can tell me whaticemail. Fuck. You're lucky. Yeah. What do you mean? What a joy. You can tell me what you wanted. You know, it's easy because you're addicted. is the monopoly monopoly but it doesn't matter to me because i get things so conveniently and so But I'm pretty sure that's what that was. oven. I think that was the cake.

1:57:40 Like she was so Yeah, but it's still bread. Is that accurate? We know a guy? Yeah, we always have fun. Cake doesn't refer... Was it? I think that, I think from that period Rome is like- The food is insane. It's kind of... That's the other thing about like you're in, when you're in Rome and you're like learning Meanwhile, it's not yours. in whatever the fuck it is that they make.

2:02:02 Yeah. And I've been following his videos for years. Because they don't know. To go back where you came from. I don't want to debate you. Oh, I didn't mean to colonize. You're just gross. Yeah, it was just wokeness in the grossest form possible. In a vacuum. anything with them, and then you could just be an asshole. I bet that guy sucks at everything he does.

2:04:15 This is your Larry David moment. Unfortunately yeah, it's hard to make a good comedy movie today kids well fucking hard Oh, I want to show you this one that hasn't been released yet. I don't know about seasons. jesus fucking christ dude he's got you could never my point is like whatever what he's doing you could never do your job and putting out great content that's easy for people to access, I shouldn't be able to sell a single fucking one.

2:06:39 streamers didn't, it's not that they didn't do their job. Pazitsky's special killed it. Christina murdered or you can talk to them off the show and ask them is just not as good So it's like, YouTube's second. publicists we're all publicists bro it's like and we have an organic network and we like when that's an exciting thing and you don't probably give yourself

2:08:59 and you started something that made people go oh shit wait you can be more successful if like you It's foolish. He's disgusting. One of the women who had sex with him, when she saw his dick, she thought he was trans. guy is thinking with his dick, the worst He's gotta do this on his laptop I don't know. according to a recent report on the convicted rapist,

2:11:17 and diabetics. Well, he's probably diabetic. which appeared to have scarring as if from burns in his nether region. Yeah. Look at this. He was so crazy that he was injecting his dick. Fournier's gangrene. Yeah, this is repulsive, dude. Simple as that. I can't. Next one. that is just repulsive dude oh this is what happens bro i'm just look pompeii there were

2:14:46 And Karen McGillicuddy, she secured a bunch of these Russian gigolos, these underage boys, We wouldn't feel as bad. I wouldn't feel bad at all Boy age is just it's very different i don't put that on a 16-year-old girl. Different. You and you licking them. The bit was- in Florida getting taken away I'd be like get in the fucking car Yeah. And in, you know, New York, you have a fake ID.

2:18:13 How old was she? but in that like that's like the honest conversation If we just listened a little bit more to both sides, Yeah, because it's so tribal, dude. one if I had the opposite to balance it and I go I appreciate the support but Your side is comedy. the funny thing yeah the 16 year old boy getting some pussy from his teacher that's funny that's

2:21:12 at 16 I was busting off yeah but once but you could bust off four or five eat you. No, nature built us this way. So now you're just busting in chicks? And I think I was like 14 or 15 years old going, I don't think that's right. And I remember a buddy of mine was telling me, yeah, a girl can't even come unless you It was like me going down on my girlfriend when she was like 16 and I was 16

2:24:15 Finger to see I was like well is this come? I remember one of the first times that I had sex with my girlfriend in high school. And when I pulled out, I just went. Bah! I hit myself right in the face face Right in the nose the mouth But theirs I mean we're so like intimate with them Cap. and was talking about how good her pussy tasted. Well, it's not hot to me, you fucking weirdo.

2:26:47 Well, there's got to be a guy out there that does want to have a girl get cream-pied and then eat the cum out of her. I've never had this conversation with a girl. Pineapple. Dude, imagine. Imagine. Bro, I was at, there's a, what's the comedy club in Denver? My pussy don't taste that good. How many funny people have you run into Yeah, he said that.

2:29:43 And then what happened on stage that he just, it didn't connect? it's like a fucking, it's so, Hold on. was his bit it was joey being it was joey being joey and there's liberation from not wanting the Like Alex Jones. I'm kind of retarded. You try to hear him out. Dude, he... We gotta watch. Wait for it. But he's so funny all the time like that. Me.

2:34:03 Yeah. I haven't seen it. So Chris is a genius. Or he can be natural born killers. He can do anybody's. Play piano. talking about like in the room. Oh yeah. There's a there's the actress in the movie. I forget her fucking name Natalie Portman. Who's a brilliantly talented dramatic actress Is it, are you born that way? No, but I know the stand-up movie, yeah.

2:36:57 Yeah, you know it's like I believe that this is this frustrated housewife who gets a couple of drinks in her and then hilarious Is that his name? of drinks in him and he was the funniest human being on stage. Not only that, he was deadpan and dead serious. And then he does this fucking movie where he plays this guy with a fucking carnation and by the way out of all the people that have ever

2:38:36 He was a beautiful man. He could run 100 balls in straight pool. you've been doing stand-up for 10 years, That's very rare. So he would have a cigarette in his finger while he was holding the cue. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that the same thing probably happened when Hustler came out. And this weird, we love the anti-hero. You have to be hanging out in pool halls to play pool good.

2:41:31 Yeah. It's literally called playing. like $10,000 or $20,000 in cash, thing but it was a thing that just like didn't it didn't didn't have its With a bunch of other celebrities you bust their ass killed us tortured them. I never lost a game No, I'll compete if I'm not proficient to learn how to get better. That's the only way. No, it's not. You have to connect with one ball and then you go three rails, meaning it has to hit

2:45:18 The gentleman's game was billiards. It's really called pocket billiards. Like everybody fucking gambled on pool. And the idea, I don't know how to play that, so I'm not sure, but there was a place in Vegas that we used to play, me and my friend Max Eberle, who's also a top flight pool player. And this guy who owned it was from Italy. It was the best Italian food in Vegas. And it was at this fucking little pool hall that was in a strip mall. And this came from Rome yeah and he would play this Italian billiards and he had a fucking kitchen

2:46:52 I don't even know where the balls go. Willie Moscone was the best pool player. He would wear the suits and the ties, and up until recently, Crazy. jokes from other people. Yeah, it's an Italian game. elevated age and still get the camaraderie aspect yes that we need as guys yeah we need to be around kid yeah they had a fucking pool table there right it was like a part of your house and i feel like

2:50:32 they never use them. when I was a kid, I was like 22 or 23 when I moved to New York. And when I would go there, one of the things, it was an old school pool hall back in the day. You didn't met Johnny. Right. Executive Billiards was dirty. You had a lot of homeless people that would hang out there. People there was all these people that were total misfits in the rest of society and they would go there

2:53:36 and then after that was done They'd bark at each other. What's One Pocket? Like you've got to make sure that there's no shots for your opponent while you have yeah, like I guess we crave acceptance, all of us in general, but like there's something about the back table, You're home, dude. not give a fuck that i want to be like you i want to be like you yeah even though you're a guy who

2:56:55 because I think LA is actually cool and I have friends who are from there, But I always wondered, like, the ideology that's currently running the system wants you to follow you got to pay that's why And it wasn't your intention, but, like someone have a conversation here where they were being themselves. So it's like, once you feel the condom off, it's hard to go back to the condom it's almost impossible it feels weird

2:59:05 They were like aliens that were running Earth, Look at that fucking. He and I had a little exchange about that recently. Because he has so much influence. He has like 104 million Twitter followers. Like if you fuck with find the financial sector they come for you you follow politics And I wonder if like, that's interesting that he recognized that as well yeah and they throw the fucking they throw everything at you yeah they

3:01:40 just big yeah you get bigger and then when you go on stage they cheer harder Every person that came here or two generations away is someone who gave They're like, yo, it's fire over there. And you're going to tell us what to do? No doubt about it. the Second Amendment, all the different rights and rules and regulations in which to govern there's no place where you could just show up and have water to water yeah that's the thing it it is

3:05:15 yeah we were able to give it back to the people i mean you look at like socrates people quote You can be the best version of you here. And these ladies are screaming at me, abortion rights. It's not just abortion rights, but now they're going after gay marriage too, which is so strange to me. is the best way for them to keep pulling off all the bullshit they're doing

3:07:25 recently happened where there's a shooter in a mall. Can we say something about the gay marriage Because if gay people are in love with each other and they want to have a celebration Or I was going to say in a hospital. one of the kind there's a bunch of shit that keeps you from being a republican yeah but that's one of I was on welfare as a kid. I just also believe in discipline and hard work.

3:09:33 Telling people what is essential. But that's the problem, is that the second that you agree with one thing- you're actually going to be a real person, you're going to be both. I mean, Chris Rock had that Well, there's grifters, but there's also people that are just in a fucking cult. Where does it end? thinks is evil. Right. But you're not willing to

3:11:22 in the DMs. And I'm like, you fucking it's like yeah that that's the trickiest thing when you feel like the total wrath of the opposition way they choose. The problem is when people start infringing on other people's freedoms. You don't even have to agree, Right. Some of them don't even know it because they think it might be their period. Yeah. and then if they could just remove themselves from the group for a second and be like okay maybe in

3:15:12 But then you have people that like show up at these rallies and like brag about how many Yeah. for sure they do that. It's like to have people, they have these rigid pole-oriented perspectives on this fine, I'll do my best because I love this country, that human being? And there's something He wants to help. Yes. and that that money could go to education,

3:18:27 Are you trying to avoid war? I'm in. Yeah, they should. And we're talking about a fraction of a penny per trade. that isn't tribal with their politics goes, Let me just fucking help people. Just hang out. They came for him. that you know has always been that guy you know it's like I don't understand what happened with JFK. Talk to me. resonated with people that had a hope for the future. They had a vision in this guy, this young, vibrant guy who was the president.

3:22:36 We want a shot at greatness. Give us a little piece of it. There's a lot. survival of our nation if our traditions do not survive with it. And there is very grave know. For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies primarily on covet means for expanding its sphere of influence, on infiltration instead of invasion, on subversion instead of elections, on intimidation instead of free choice, on guerrillas by night instead of armies by

3:25:38 No rumor is printed. This administration intends to be candid about its errors. This means greater coverage and analysis of international news, for it is no longer far away and foreign but close at hand and local it Wild boy. Congratulations on the success of your special and your podcast and everything.