Joe Rogan Experience #193 — Jim Gaffigan Transcript

Transcript

0:00 And what the hell that was? Well, we just got back from a music video. It was a bar scene. Just for you? I want you to act like you want to suck my dick. You ever watch that, Yes, and that was kind of like that's what prompted I know what you're talking about. It was during the McCarthy era where they were just accusing everybody of being a capitalist. The blacklist. Yeah, yeah.

1:55 It's kind of hard to believe that that existed, you know, just, I mean, in the 1950s. You know what I mean? I know. But people didn't even... Remember that was like kind of a cool part of his personality. he was a positive character. Yeah. That show was, for the longest time, No, I missed it. you are, when you're doing a crazy fucking Yeah. They had weird shit, too.

5:14 Yeah, the statue. of an ABC primetime show. after Lost. You did? So you just don't watch television? I don't watch anything that's not real. good show. Have you watched that? No, I haven't. I gave up after Lost. You did? That's it, I'm done. Finding Bigfoot or something. Plural. What if we did it with Sasquatch? It looks so silly because the people knew exactly where the car was and this is the tree.

7:09 contract do you remember when i wanted to make bigfoot more empathetic and uh harry and the And you know what? No And they're like He's not sexy enough. You'd think they'd have Bigfoot. existed but they just kind of like just churn out these just like those didn't exist before To the moon, Alice. He did nothing wrong. It's like a sad ending to you.

10:08 that seems like so much work in relationships everyone has been in good Is it getting to the point, you know, I'm 44. and you look at it and you go, So it's not as if, you know, the conversation went like, the silent man, like, don't talk to me, Virginia. they're like a really intense relationship that's homophobic of you. Thank you. But the only reason why you should

12:02 Flashlight. You've made the commitment. I didn't think that I... It's an absolute heroine, right? Going on stage coming. You got to keep showing up. You got to keep coming. You got to keep showing up. You know what I mean? you fucked up that anybody could think like that. Which is kind of painful, but it's also good. I want to hear some, like when I go to see a guy and, you know, he's a guy that I've been seeing over the last year or two.

15:16 I'm – yeah. But like when I'm doing a show, it's like it's got to be boom. I'm not gonna let you talk Podcasts are so fun You know Getting the opportunity To do something like this You're like Well yeah No I'd love to talk to other comedians. We just don't have the opportunity. Getting the opportunity internet, the same price. I think Louis It's like you keep it as cheap.

17:20 i did a show with him in Boston like two weeks ago. Really? you just start driving to bad neighborhoods and going to massage parlors you don't even want to I could listen to you talk about lean pockets all day, though. It's way. But it's like that Hot Pockets, any kind of free? No, but I used to have theater No. don't want people actually buying hot pockets and having fucking heart attacks on your behalf

20:29 all the comics will come and sit around and do a podcast then each one will go on stage and then russell peters came by with like fucking 10 people with them it's always something crazy like that you like as as as much as anyone could know you ever that's fun yeah huge gay base he's huge huge Do you think there's a guy out there that just goes after the butchiest lesbians?

22:27 I've met a few people behind a 7-Eleven in West Hollywood. Is it West Hollywood, the gayest it west hollywood the gayest part Main Street, Compton. I got to meet them. The whole afternoon, I just got to sit down and hang out with Jason Ritter. Yeah. Yeah. really nice guy. It's so interesting, you know, Great guy. died of AIDS. Really? one when i was a kid i fucking loved this show starsky and hutch yeah and then one day starsky

26:07 You can get an Emmy. legit kung fu movie star He had a good gig. Right, you know, movies will do that. And you don't have your headphones on And you don't have your headphones on. that, I think I put And he looked like he should be hosting And so anyway, so like I watched the show. They were the same age. They were the same size. You're taking advantage of a little child.

30:02 Perfect time to fuck. Well, is it broad terms And as a founding member of Women's Alliance. Especially like aggressive aggressive woman to me is always like oh my god what are you doing you're like you have no brakes This ain't going to end well. I think I would get beat up eventually. But you know, And he's always miserable. It's just the only reason why I feel this way is because I'm a man.

33:07 He would just eat it. so that he turns me around and tells me to stop. She was like a wild horse that needed to be broken. What was Pale Force? It was awesome. The art style, did he do that? You should do that more. What a mess is right. So people would watch The Tonight Show at 10 and then they wouldn't watch it later. You know, you're the comedy policeman.

35:40 that whole situation with Bigfoot where you know that they're stealing. They're not compensating them. It's their life. insane i told you that night what you did was very important i mean it was very important well for us I mean, the guy would go to jail. Which is all going to happen. You know when language is lifted. I think something happens when you steal and that this being disingenuous this pretending this bullshit knowing that you

38:29 And you know what I mean? You're not even thinking like that. to sit there and go all right you know what you might not want to do that you know but there's I heard it's a great weight loss. No. Yeah. you're not just fucking yourself up you're fucking him up you're fucking the community up if it gets If I see Sinbad, I don't know Sinbad, but if I see Sinbad, I mean, I'm not really into his stuff, but I'd be like, hey, what's up, man?

41:47 where like I think Larry the Cable Guy I mean, he is playing a character. Are we supposed and stuff but i mean wouldn't that what i mean he is It is a very slippery slope. Are you kidding me? Check it out. The quote is that people would leave and they would say that one guy was funny, but I thought the dummy was really rude. That's wrong. people every day right right not really you know it's a style it it's it's a type of comedy there's

44:25 A what line? you're a tough guy you know what i mean how did we get to this what we're talking about Otto and George. And Attell has it. And if you're into what you're thinking about, you know, you're not going to be really phased And then you go up and you're like, okay. It's hard, right? Thanks. For real. When I was 16, I got my driver's license. Here's another boring story by. When I was 16, I got my driver's license.

47:54 And so I showed my ID. And so then a week later, my driver's license shows up in the mail with a letter from the guy who ran, I don, I don't know what it was somewhere in Chicago, that was kind of like connected. Occasionally it hit the estrogen genes that you have dark, dark of... Now some of those songs he's still a tough guy. I'm not going to call him a pussy.

49:44 I actually played You're crazy. You'll be great out there. I wrestled in high school. No, I was 167. Remember, like, people used to do that in wrestling. I was undefeated. I don't like standing up either. I tried it once. Well, that's normal. That's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're kind of like, where am I going to park my car? Hyundai. I have four cars.

52:43 They take all the unnecessary shit out of it, like the back seat. not even for driving fast not even driving illegally this is this is kind of it makes me The great dream was to be a local Boston stand-up comic, newspapers every possible ridiculous job. success is it might not be the same path, but if anybody can do it, you can do it. these when you do like interviews like when you're you know touring doing stand-up headlining in

55:33 Yeah, that is an unbelievable job. I think right now, I mean, I love Letterman, And I think one of the beautiful things about his show Like, that's just petty horse shit. Come on, man. You know, someone goes and they're the head coach here, You know, like if they leave, like it because look man when you think about what that was that that network i believe they

57:52 We obviously weren't doing, but was anybody? Carolla was the morning show I don't listen to the radio. And they would replay it I mean, there are some morning shows He used to. He's on Star Search Can you stop? He's a smart guy. What? Do you feel weird? It's too weird. It's like I'm even get over there. It's too weird. It's like that's the beauty of not looking at yourself is not realizing how out of shape you've gotten.

1:00:56 Well, I was doing something else. Am I going to be too in shape for these jokes? but it might mess up and then I thought about it, and I said, you know what? Especially Boston-style comedy, so mean. I mean, I did. Yeah. Vic Dunlap. but whatever method he chose, The guys that you were like, I thought that guy was going to be around forever. You know, Jim and I were talking about how much we love stand-up and we never quit doing

1:03:53 Yes. Wow. I had to come to the conclusion, that's really yes a lot of wasted haters i always say no haters are winners there's no no no people And it does make you feel, you know, like if you're feeling shitty, it's like, and you lessons like sure over and over and over i don't remember who said it but they said that inspiration getting angry for someone else's success for no reason it's like your your brain knows you're

1:06:49 you know, my flight's delayed. you know, being humble, It's the exact opposite of humility. are they better than me? I couldn't just sit back and watch. Like, I want them to be brilliant. like it's siphoning out. Right. You know, bits from the podcast. 100% for sure. something and be like, oh, shit, I did say that. they're great jokes like and now like twitter is this source of like is this funny i mean

1:10:56 What's your numbers now? something. the first one is um and some of my friends do this, so it's like to each their own. You know, it's like I'll be in Tampa, blah, blah, blah. and if your friend says something funny, cutting my numbers down lately you can't do that I've done that I'm sure some woman will get mad at my not wanting women to be running things.

1:13:47 So, you know. But what was the thing about the Twitter thing? Really, you don't follow me? I've done that accidentally And then you could easily hit it and unfollow. it deletes it oh and and everything so somebody could send it to you, think that you didn't respond, then it will say you're following him. Yeah. I eventually have to go. Listen, you sexy bitch.

1:15:57 It's like really hard. Well, I own the place. And you must pay a shitload for it too, right? This is $4 million in New York. I'm not a driver. I don't drive. and you'll be fine. that you could never live here because of the sun. You're scared of the sun for real? People are, for sure, more mimes. For sure. I could do it with my wife. No, no, no. All right.

1:18:55 At Jim Gaffigan. Just Jim Gaffigan. It's so fun. Please go to JoeRogan.net. She's our pal. why'd you go negative on me? 100% Muddy Buck guarantee for the first order of 30. But then people were selling that shit. Jim Gaffigan. the 5-HTP enhancement supplement. Enter in the code name Rogan. What the fuck is this podcast still going on for? Alright you dirty freaks. We'll see you soon. Bye. Love ya.