Joe Rogan Experience #1937 — Punkie Johnson Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! Yeah, yeah. What year did you start? Thank you. It's been amazing to see. This is you so much. Congratulations on your success. Thank you. It's I'm like, what the hell am I doing in California? we were driving around like, we really here? Got me a little job. I moved out that was not blocked off. Oh, no. And I went down to like neck. Oh, no. So I was just like,

2:39 I had to go to physical therapy because my adrenaline was pumping, have you could have died and then I just I forgot all about it I went to therapy for a year and then So that's what got you to L.A.? Falling in a hole? So I was always a comedian in my head. I mean, we don't cry at funerals. We listen to comedy in my house. Yeah, the small room in the back.

5:37 dead in their eyes yeah like you so yeah i like the smaller rooms So that was your first set. So what year was this? The Fear Factory dude. Now, I always had dreams of coming to Hollywood, but I didn't know how I was going to get there. So I started following her what to do. I don't know. I was tripping. I was young, and I didn't know what to do. Like, what are you doing?

7:40 at the comedy store and when I got there it was like 75 people in the original room. If I get this job, that means it's meant for me to do comedy because I ain't no way I'm going to get this job out of all these people. Come on now. Had you ever bartended before? The volume up in that place is crazy. watching you guys hustle back there man that's i mean you know i mean you making money you're

9:25 everybody come on now uh y'all know how it's gonna be i think i probably did a thousand shots with Yeah, that's it. don't come in here on stage. We don't start with the comedians on stage there's no assholes there if you're not with us look handle it yeah so many times Like, why are you back here? Well, it is a family and it is an amazing place. Yeah, for sure. And a lot of

12:19 a building And I'm just sitting up there. What year was that? What year was it owned by Bugsy Siegel? Ciro's once the most glamorous club in Hollywood. We're in 2023. And 72 to today. Now that I never knew. Like, this is crazy. Wow. Man, the history of this is like old surf rock. Wow. Ronald Reagan was there. was in there. Yeah. It was popping it's just, it's so set up.

15:59 I was so afraid. of money from 2014 When COVID hit, I had to leave because I didn't have any income coming in. I love it. I love it and uh I honestly did not know I was like, oh, okay, for sure. It was called Please Understand. Now it's time to goal it out. oh, no, now you got to do an hour. over the years. Simply, quickly. I'm going to say a joke.

19:58 Yeah, I agree. You know what I'm saying? to go bomb in was the coffee shop or a library or the back of a basement I mean not the back but in Look, this is from the mud, man. I'm like, bitch, wake up. Everybody has that. No. Man, I hate that. It's weird, suicidal man i i i hate that that's weird right yeah it's weird and some of them they're paid regulars

23:09 Melissa been glowing. I do. Everyone's working. You got to move on, but it's still He was a part of the family, but he had a very specific role. Because you know, the comedy store is like, look, come in here, be yourself, do your thing. We don't You know, so you just got to be smart. Yeah. you know what it's like it's like the world is filled with glass

27:11 Anyone can get on that stage. gigs and then they start opening for people because the big comics will come in I can't get on the phone. Well, I'll go crazy. Maybe it's the weed that I'm smoking. But it makes me get up and work. And for them, marijuana could be debilitating. You know how to handle it. This is your hybrid and your mixed with your hybrid, so that's your indica mixed with your stativa.

30:51 Yeah. You got it. But I think as an artist, that's something that does happen. It's easier to do that, like, that you're special. Yes. And it just, it makes me, like, a more considerate person. I remember they had some drama at the store one time. And you was like, you was like, absolutely not. No, no, you always been considering the kind. I ain't gonna lie. You come to the store. I remember they had some drama at the store one time,

32:47 You know? They're like, will you chill? You was the reason why we made money a lot of nights. I mean, I can't do it all the time, you could still pay someone like two bucks an hour, which is kind of crazy. New York, they just have this sense. I love the East Coast. And if you go to a place like Hollywood, you've got to imagine that most of the people that go there, the people that move there, they move there to either be a part of the business, like to be a producer or a director or something, or they want to be in front of the camera.

35:47 And they'll pretend to be someone to get attention. and hope these people like you, which completely changes the way people behave. Because those because maybe they've seen you already. fuck says good to see you? It's like you brought a friend over and the friend says, hi, this is my friend Punky. Hi Who the fuck says good to see you? If you brought a friend

37:20 I never thought about that. music right and they would pick you and there were so many people that could It's crazy that he pulled it off, though. Like, Kanye could change his name every week and people keep up. Kanye done said some shit and done some shit. He's mentally ill. and you forget sometimes. Like I think part of the reason why he became a

40:23 fuck yeah he's petty I mean he. Fuck yeah, he's petty. It's the same mind. I don't think it's a good move to eliminate a guy like that from being able to communicate. I can assume that people like him have to be, you know, medicated. you've married what the world considers So he started doing shit that he probably wasn't supposed to do. They're coming in and going and he'll go from one idea the next idea and people say yeah, he's rambling

42:57 And I don't think you get it, and I don't think I get it. that sounds ridiculous but if someone like je Jeff Bezos has like $200 billion, like that's so much fucking money. Everybody has to pay your rent. They're just going to like how much does the earth cost? They need like a more reasonable crazy person that's with them that can go, This guy has a heart.

45:12 But he's a human being like we all are. We have a whole bunch of catered food. I think it would have been 22 Teslas. Ah, is the computer chips the, like the, so you can know where the car is? But the new ones are confusing to me. And he was saying that that shit takes like 10 years. Those are two things I like to just. If I don't, I don't. And I don't want to get in that room and then you offer me all kind of other shit.

48:08 Is that Ben Affleck? Hilarious scene where, like as an upgrade to the car. why the fuck did you add it on yeah like I'm not I don't give a shit. there are on the road. I'm going over the going over the neutral ground. You're in the woods. like, what year was that? It's not as big a deal. I don't slow down on the potholes either. How dare you? Too many choices. That's an old one, brother.

51:11 There's a Bronco Raptor right below that. Okay, all right. that one. What does it have for That's a lot. Oh, okay. It'll flip on your ass. because it reminds me of the Xterra. he's still my friend i didn't had he's my friend um he used to do, cooking tutorials in his van. And you cook in the back of the van together and you talk about what you're Really?

54:23 Mm. So, Shirt off. Look at that. He answered the phone. I go, yeah. It's a good show, and it's a good gig, Every episode, people would choke him unconscious, hit him with a bat. Animal show's dangerous. Fuck Real lions. I don't like the zoo. species list that's a good point too but that is hell especially for the primates i was in denver And this primate, I don't know what kind of monkey it was, but it was in its cage and it was screaming like a crazy person in prison.

58:09 I honestly want, like, the way I envision my life, right? That's how people live out here. Something happened that I had to shelf it that week, but it was a Thanksgiving sketch about hunting with Joe Rogan. I'll bring that sketch back. Yeah? What did he want you to get, a 45? Keep it locked up. We don't have guns for all of that in my family. And he just like slumps over and dies like right on the street.

1:01:06 Even though it was an accident, you go into jail. It's like, my thing is, if you're going to have a weapon, be responsible with it. He had a.44 Magnum. Do you feel lucky, punk? like the most evil cartoonish bad guy, Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kind of lost track myself. uh oh So crazy. Those movies back then Does it happen?

1:05:23 Both. I just have to. It's a problem. I can't watch I know. Do you know what I started? The Deadpool. You know what I've been watching on YouTube Jim Carrey's in one of these. Okay. one of the most realistic and fucking breaking I wanna get into I do. I'm getting fast. but it's all in your feet. Boxing does not look easy, i started i had to get my feet together before i swung a punch

1:09:16 she never the reason why i'm boxing now is because she never let me i wanted to box i remember i was Joanna, I think. fighting where that happened holyfieldfield. That's right. Like, maybe they had collided heads, or maybe another punch had done it. But that thing on Ioana, that was crazy. Man. I was on a plane last night while the Grammys were on.

1:11:47 Someone is doing this scene where they play the devil, and they're dancing around, and Is it? Well, hold on. I know. says. Scroll back. Oh, Jesus Christ. some sort of a gigantic Well, the Bratsy by Pfizer is hilarious. Shit, I hate when I have these brain fucks. No, he was giving the devil a lap dance. It's like, don't you see he's doing this shit to, like, fuck with you?

1:14:58 Right-wingers melt down over satanic Pfizer-sponsored Grammys. to control us and control all the money. Just get us to fight over the dumbest shit. But that's that they'll fix that. It's a matter of time. I go to work. I just want to stay inside. It doesn't hurt their feelings. getting petty imagine if robots get petty you know shit i might write that yeah why not write

1:18:11 You know, SNL is a very hard job. The perks are great. Holy shit. That's wild. Well, it's a very fast, right? prepping do you get ready for monday um sometimes it depends if i have the strength i'll call people We'll all go in his office. His office is about this big, maybe a little smaller. So you open up a coffee shop that's full of strippers and you call it tease search or some shit.

1:20:39 And my pitch was, And then after that, you leave the pitch and you go. Fix it. You got to, if you write the sketch and it get picked, you got to do it all. I went to an actor school called the Actors Bootcamp, There's legitimate, like real good The comedy classes, they're not being taught by Dave Chappelle. They did? It's a type of performance school for sure.

1:23:46 Yeah. I think like Don Barris, you know, he loved that late night spot. fake uh pianos and and and it is you are rocking now he's rocking the house at two three in the And he would go as long as he wants. Oh, my God. It was crazy. 80s when he left he left the Comedy Store and he got banned from the Comedy but occasionally like Martin Lawrence would come and then it would be flooded.

1:27:08 era that was in like the the 2000s like 2014 on yeah fuck every night was sold Like, I'm still just crazy. You just got to jump your ass in that water and swim. I was working in blue jeans. Right. I had to get there. And I saw all these other people. and a bunch of other people that were in, which I think happened after the show got canceled. Yeah.

1:30:20 it was like the happiest day of my life. And one of the reasons why I had a great set was there's this guy named the Todd. really nice guy. And one of the things that he said, Like if you could sit next to Mitzi, sad but but i learned from him and then there was like an interesting moment for me because i was Yeah, I was about to say, he looks very, very familiar.

1:32:26 Yeah. be mad at others for having more to me. Good for you. If the only reason why you're upset when I was younger it doesn't do a thing I'm like, hey, man, that guy's a talented motherfucker, and you're being a bitch. Also just recognize what it is and don't commit to it because you don't want to have been wrong. and we would and before I was a paid regular if I would do the friends and family portion

1:36:00 So you are fueling me to keep the energy of the room when you go and then I'm just like, all right, bet. is they like to bring someone on the road with them that's murderous, ruthless comics that I could find was never going to give him any love. How are you going to ride that wave? and then they would see him go on stage He's a he's a wild dude. He's a wild dude.

1:39:00 It was just so ridiculous. Oh, my God. And the rapid fire, bang, bang, bang. Joey was middling and the headliner said, I quit. They're like, check, please. evening at the improv let me get in there I got my my fucking closer bit and Man, look. It was a different kind of bombing. But it was also like there was some spots that you would go to. i man i love that man i love that man he he's another person that like uh took me on a road

1:42:19 And if I'm not mistaken, he was working at the time. What's wrong? It's such a good idea to have comics go up and do one minute. And that's a part of his regular act now because of this one minute a now all of a sudden he's got a whole new giant one minute chunk and that's a part of his regular act now you know The hardest I laugh in life. That's amazing. He works hard.

1:44:44 Christina Pazitsky's here. Yeah, my friends, this ain't my conversation, guys. Six years ago. Wow. Like, he's fit now. He's like, I'm trying to get to. You can do that. Well, really swing now don't hurt anybody especially now you have money he's like Forever. But that's my boy, man. When I work out, I know what to do. way i'm just in my own head you get to talk to anybody i don't look at my phone i like i dig that

1:48:25 It's brutal. And then get my heart rate back up. Then I do rounds in the bag, and I do other stuff for cardio. get on that bag i shred so fast and so hard within three weeks i'm like 10 12 pounds down yeah off bag in the gym that's perfect that's all you really need you want to get in shape yeah also And you would just kind of catch your breath back up.

1:50:43 I don't know how they do it. He's like, yo, you ready? Have you ever hit one of those? Yeah, those are great. And it's all about like controlling this awkward weight. That's good, too. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. It's fired up. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't stop. Like whenever I work out before I do anything, my brain is ahead of me. and I stood up. That's hilarious.

1:53:35 Really? This guy did this play one time, maybe 15 years ago, and this guy was like, all right, time for me to get my push-ups in. I think it's like 500. And it's just like all these guys and girls, ladies and men from Asia. And he's looking at him, and he's like— What? There's a video that says why that's probably fake, Physical 100. That might be Akiyama.

1:55:42 He's a world famous MMA fighter that fought in pride. They call him Sexy Yama because he's likekiyama he's a world-famous MMA fighter that fought in Oh, look at this. Yeah. Someone's going to get fucked up, though. Go back to that picture. Because they're big and strong. bridge. And the jack dudes all See if you can find a video of Akiyama fighting.

1:58:09 He goes, my balls was hot. And look how jacked he was. He beat him by submission. The big head and the other people in front of him. There's no host. Did it say when he fought in Pride? 2001. or something like that? which is crazy. Wild. And his first one-on-one on the show when they speak of him. Yeah. Is this all the people that are on it? Yeah, there's other fighters and stuff on it, too.

2:01:01 Still fighting. it's an English voiceover he's so humble in the way he goes into his competitions. Right now. to hear the inflection in their voice Oh, no, no, no. Right. Bruce Lee Oh, Jamie. I was trying to do it But that was the thing with kung fu movies, right? There's a new show By this time he might have been talking in his own voice. I believe he was

2:04:13 He was smooth. Nobody saw that coming. Yeah. And also, again, if I'm not mistaken, I think it was created by a woman. How do they know and figure that out? I could look into that, too. Yeah. And I just crank up Jumping rope is fantastic. It's one of the best things for your footwork. It's the reason one. You know what else is really good? What? Skipping rope. People don't skip rope. Jumping rope is fantastic.

2:06:19 But if you have the ability to do that, I need to jump rope. So I do not jump rope in boxing. pretending a punch is coming your way, at SNL I'll do another round, I'll sit, I'll chill. Sometimes I'll everybody would take it. And if you've got to be, like, physical, like, Yeah, you fucking cocksuckers. Yeah. he teaches me a lot he like if you don't keep your hands up i'm gonna sneak you oh okay so i

2:09:46 I'm pivoting out. I'm not saying I ain't never going to get hit, but I know how to get out the way. He ain't coming at you like a fucking train, like Mike Tyson. He's fighting Canelo Alvarez. Man, look, if I'm him, I'm in the Pepp. Everybody always talks about Willie Pepp. And Willie Pepp was amazing. He won a round without He's shoulder rolling. put your fucking hands up he knows what he's doing I mean it's just because he knows how to do it so

2:11:53 Yeah. He's so different than anybody else because he doesn't throw a lot of punches. It was close for a little bit because Tank fights like that. in his brain. Okay, we got all the data. Right. You know, I ain't never going to stop learning in this game. out with Ryan Garcia. He's another one. There's Devin Haney. I've been wanting to do it for so long.

2:14:19 You write with your left hand? So I thought that my right hand was the strongest. he said no it's your left hand so we got in a fight so he was like what he was so he came charging Emanuel Stewart did that with a lot of people. southpaw, it's confusing when you're boxing They're coming from everywhere. stances. It was a totally, It's a good thing to learn. If you can learn how

2:17:15 My right hand is like. I was the weird one I That's so stupid. You know, I'm trying to get them to stay straight. I don't know how to play soccer, and I messed my knee up. in your head yeah you're saying you're you're like painting scenarios where people underestimate you I really want to do celebrity boxing. Do you think, like, how much time would you need to prepare for something like that?

2:19:33 fucking right i believe you i'll fuck short fingernails no no need to i would like to fight you know yeah I be watching Clarissa Fields named wrong that's what Joey does too The fucking Kalabeeb gets a hold of you. But that's a big, she big. James Kirk. Boom. And who eventually went on To fight Canelo Day and the eyes Slip I mean, that's an amazing punch.

2:21:58 Jacked. That's a different thing. A lot of men. And then he went up losing to Canelo, Like they did not want to do She had a no tolerance for bullshit policy when it came to training. It was a brutal KO but it was also Canelo. to go up to 175 and fight Yeah. I can't wait for that one. Put a lot of security out that day. Did it say September? But I think Canelo had to get surgery on his wrist.

2:25:17 Yeah? it's all iced up Y'all need to hook a girl Don't let them steal that. That's good. That's pretty good. cognac but I get a little crazy you're crazy on whiskey on the brown yeah really interesting Russians, vodka, mean. Whiskey. Pulling off the bottle of whiskey with a cork. I think I've had gin like twice in my life. It's like, oh no. that every time you

2:28:35 But this thing that you're drinking, you're not just drinking tequila, but you're also tapping into like a well of experiences that other people who drank tequila have had or vodka or whiskey, which would make sense with why people get wild with whiskey. If you think about all the Kentucky bourbon that was made in this country where people were fucking shooting Indians and just train robberies, fucking shooting buffaloes.

2:28:55 Fuck. I'm divorced now, but I almost lost my wife when I was married when I was drinking moonshine. it before with with mushrooms and i've thought about it before with psychedelics i think there I'm very, very—I don't like when I can't control what I'm doing. And when you try to, that's when you have the bad trips. no cause I I'm scared Joe are you gonna film it?

2:31:17 well for yourself You want to get the most out of the experience, at least me personally. Maybe do some yoga, don't eat anything, get your mind right, calm yourself down, What happened? how long I slapped red it was like black and red? A couple hours. Yeah. I ain't doing that. in her mind but they weren't and she fucking had a heart attack and died and i feel like sometimes

2:34:27 That bitch will kill me. you go, Talked about it. All stretched out all day. The big one. What did you take? So the problem is all that shit is not regulated. I've never heard anybody getting arrested for having mushrooms ever in my life. I think I can understand that. And he it was like, you know, of course, everybody's all stressed out. OK, Oklahoma didn't give a fuck about COVID.

2:37:37 like we can't find let's call him brian we can't find brian um so we all go outside we're looking And mind you, He's like, hurry up and get this motherfucker away from me. You're going to get us killed. Look like he's planking, right? We pick him up, pow, pow, pow, pow. I got like my underwear wrapped around his bloody face. I got knocked out. I'm like

2:39:55 The fucking pills in him all right. Let's end this podcast to see you succeed. Thank you for that.