Joe Rogan Experience #1944 — Ryan Long Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience Yeah, the guy I did the podcast with was like The amount of carcinogenics must be running through your body. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it would seem to me that like the real fear would be, I think, correct me if I'm wrong because I'm definitely wrong. That's what's happening to people, you know. I thought dicks were shrinking.

1:38 How? Bro, when I was a kid, they tried to put us on the metric system, which is a far more Yeah, what are you concerned about? Ladies are cause for concern for the ladies, you know? Yeah, what are you concerned about? No, this was, I think this was originally a Vice article. They can put a man on the moon. billionaire dude, right? And then But it still carries some risks.

3:30 That would be It's probably their most profitable thing other than vaccines, right? We have to compete with China. Mandated by the government, This is her issue she's pushing. There's a lot of people that kind of take the opinion on that too, the the immigrant thing is fascinating because uh you know, my grandparents were immigrants. That doesn't count.

6:06 amount a year. They have rules about it. From Canada? From other We're going to go party in like, you know, Nashville or whatever. Yeah. gender now like yeah to the point where it's like what what what is like douglas murray talked about talking about the possibility of crazy people being in any group is a hundred percent the The goat. Where I know it's titties all day long would be nuts.

9:11 Do you know how in Russia, Putin will play hockey games and everyone lets him win? No, no, no, no, no. Watch video of it. like, you know, high level But when you watch him do judo, like 100%, that's real skill. What about Seagal? What do you think of Seagal? He really is really good at Aikido. I would say yes, legitimate. Nice. Yeah, Putin really knows judo.

10:46 and I think he was legitimately the first American to run an Aikido dojo in Japan. No bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was, I think he was And it's like it's using your momentum and then using leverage and using technique. Durag Seagal is the best Seagal. Yeah. Just doing work. The top one's legit. I mean, you could have a guy who starts out in Aikido for some strange reason and is just extraordinary physically talented.

13:18 is just not the way from that were so great was it like that they believed it a little you know when you see kind where are these people He's doing splits on the top of a building. More than splits, too. It's like- I don't think they were moving, though, yeah. Oh, on the internet? musicians than like, you know, uh, or you could say something in between songs. Yeah. You really answer anything more than that. Right. And then it's kind of like with, with, uh.

16:54 Yeah. Lecturing dudes are sus. What are you doing? Jesus, dude. What the fuck is, what the fuck are you doing? Has sort of felt a little embarrassed all the time yes something like covid comes along and it just rattles them to like a nine whereas you stay at a six yeah you Right. We were all scared. The plane's full of them, and they've got the full, you know, the Bane mask, the whole deal.

20:07 Broke them three years is enough to break someone to fuck three years is enough to break a strong person that we'll take people that are murderers and rapists three hours is leave them alone. you got family, Hell on earth. Right. Like a psycho. from holding yeah yeah you are especially in Canada just news the president, whether they hate, like it's all, you know what I mean?

23:33 you know, they need to lock it all down. And then they're like, we upped it to three. It's a big boat to steer. Like, this really just affects old people and overweight people. Now you're encouraging people to get sick. up and no one moves. No more You go, just shut up. Really wild Like most, turned down a movie. that Cube wasn't approved so quick and if it wasn't for covid it most likely wouldn't have right i mean it was an

27:27 I know both. You can take vitamins and COVID stuff, Mr. Burns style. drinks smokes non-stop and they're the first guy out being like let's go and you're like how are They have that. but there's a point where your body essentially, Your body just gives up. Yeah. You know, like, because there's people that are overweight just because they drink too much beer.

30:41 think or 50 yeah for a tall can, though. $190? Yeah, I've seen there's like a commercial for Miller Lite or something. you're just like, yeah, let me just have three. Every night. if you get the stuff that Keith Richards is getting. In 2018, he said he was an awful for a year. He said he gave up on the hard. I'm just going to take it easy tonight. Like, wow.

33:18 The Circuit of Americas. You let it go. Yes, I do. killed the guy at one of their but that used to be like a big thing in music, Hunter approached the stage Can I tell you something? about all the Twitter fight clips. You're like, how am I watching this? People aren't big that, there's no people that are that big anymore, really. What the fuck happened?

36:38 you know, And the people get so sick of that shit that the next guy's like, I hate women. Yeah. Everybody wanted to be moody. I'mvana essentially killed the hair band. Yeah. The genre becomes corporate, right? all kind of inventing a new little style and pushing each other and that's how culture always Very strange. I'm going to be wearing, Jesus Christ.

38:56 All that stuff just went away. They had lipstick on. It was not like one of those guys was like an action star and was like kicking ass with Yeah, just like a bit of a band van is a very similar to like a sports dressing room You know what the craziest thing to me— a biker. You're like, do you know how amazing that is? You're telling me this guy's gay?

41:17 Getting out of the town. That song was amazing. My two friend Jimmy's those were guys I was in high school with the Jimmy's yeah Because the teacher that we had in high school And I just told you he was the most talented guy in the class He was such a twat. There's no way- He was miserable, and he was just really bad to fuck anybody. He just wanted to go to sleep. That guy was just just hated his life He was miserable and he was just really bad to be around

44:15 Like, they're right statistically. You can't have every person says no. this probably isn't a good idea your mom's saying that maybe your teacher's saying that but then you The problem with comedy as opposed to everything else is that people think they have like a giant head start like people who a lot of people the first year of their career when they sucked.

46:33 Improvement and constantly working at it and some people just don't do that man what, Should he be that? And there's a few people I can think like that where I'm like, I love that. Compounds. Keep getting better. The first time i saw tim dillon he was very funny it was That personality six months in can kind of connect. The audience is no data whatsoever.

49:17 you know, a little bit of a loud table at the back, the sex stuff doesn't go, The other guy's underneath doing a flip. Interesting. Like if someone's killing with tricks. The person's slaughtering you. Just the live moment of just being around people and doing stand-up. Like, shit can go sideways. that you kind of hone over the year of like, and now everyone agrees with that? Hot takes are way more transient today don't you think

52:34 It was really quick. They would 100% letter That's, like, when you looked in the mirror without the tits. my wife that's why she needs to get implants And it also accelerated this weird culture war. Yeah. Yeah, I did a I'm a Ukraine guy video. Your videos are great. you know, important. And then I'll be like, tell people I'm offer only. I mean, didn't Ridley Scott just film an entire movie with this new Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra?

56:50 as well, right? become a great editor. So if you put up a video and it resonates and then people are like, ah, ha, ha, Ryan I've had so many of those. I just do it the way I do it, right? That's all anybody wanted. It was like the gold rush. It was literally like people were coming out here. There were pioneers Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sitcoms were on all the time

59:39 Yeah, why aren't they scared? You're under the microscope forever and ever and ever. What does this say? They're increasing? I just mean sitcoms. I'm saying there's more TV shows in general Multi-cam. I mean, it went to pretty recent. It didn't start pretty recent. John Larroquette's on it. It's just like, again, no one's watching. There was like, every night there was multiple sitcoms.

1:02:07 CBS for drama. after it was like over do you know what I mean I was like no one cared about tv it was like over uh, and he's a good friend of mine that's all it is are fun too having scientists on so like as fun as the other thing Right. i'm gonna go be the best dentist in the world exactly because if you really think about it like how many people have done that they've trained

1:05:12 And also the character that you have to have to endure the punishment those guys take. Yeah. them are so wild dude where you just like this guy was the king of the world and you're like it's amazing. He's achieved some amazing Yeah. I had like a Namaste! It's like part of it is They're drinking alcohol They're drinking and doing yoga It stinks. It's funny though. I'm a buddy like fun anything to get you doing something

1:08:54 Oh, so this is a new yoga for screamers. That didn't work out. That is a bold Like this idea that you're supposed to scream out and every Yeah, isn't it Planet Fitness? It's a lunk alarm. That is Yeah, that's judgy. You can't be judgy. you just work out really hard and don't make any noises. Yeah, you have to scare it like a T-rows, overhead presses, clean and jerks and deadlifts.

1:11:31 It's one of the most important lifts that you do. For you to tell people that they can't use them properly is stupid. Mean they must have no they have dumbbells over in the corner I got you. when you go to those gyms, people are Or like a scrawny comedian. He's like, all right, bro, let's go. I'm your new friend, bro. Now I live with the guy. This guy's living with me now.

1:14:18 Uh-huh. over millions of men in america that are living with the con artists that have no idea if you're They know how to do it, too. that's an, I've had enough. And sometimes they don't find it though. There's something disturbing about that to me. And there's this like real sad aspect to it I think I know why it's sad. does Kramer have? Like, it was a prank.

1:18:09 maybe that's why it's a little more sad You got got. You're like, this guy's not... And especially especially because he's rich so he's probably somewhat like yeah I don't and power you really generally we're more attracted to a woman's power and money you really that's gotta be weirdly attractive. Did I just make that up? Last year? Yeah. Okay. I think so. Oh my

1:20:32 What is her nationality? wherever that lady's jeans are from, Like if he was a janitor, Yeah. This is madness. they're all up to that. yeah. really old lady, like a Like some old princess die treatment where they slander her though This is amazing. if a 70-year-old witch woman, what you need is an 80-year-old richer man. But nobody's upset. Not a 25-year-old.

1:23:55 Everybody's okay. This guy can't stop. Famous people's a little different, too, period. There's this thing that happens where they get these really crazy puffy face. It's like a ratio. it weirds people out. That's like your buddy showing up in like a, you know, like a top hat and he thinks you're not going to talk about it. Also from a magazine that talks about women's faces.

1:26:25 Yeah. That's the a motherfucker. Yeah. pictures she posts up herself the devil yeah so there you go She's pretending to blow people. It's going to be a gross younger person, but you still get to be in the game. I think by the time you and I are old as fuck, Right. He just wanted to do it all over again. chat, you know, chat GPT the way it was and I think it's going to be the case

1:29:27 And it's going to be one of the first ways they use it. Well, it's going to function the same way an eyeball does, Dude, it's going to be bizarre looking into someone's fake eyeballs. MK Ultra. the latest on the artificial eye thing? I think there was something else that I read that was independent of that that was talking about a new technology where they might be able to create artificial eyes.

1:31:42 It feels like it's going to happen soon. and technology are restoring hope to Yeah, that's But how long do you think but they do have the ability to open and close their hands. If I was 20? People get the dollar surgery right now. Yeah, you got to get some of these. His knees don't ever hurt because he's got fake legs. So it's like an Iron Man suit.

1:34:48 that someone was going to be able to figure out And in the comic books, He's got to stop by the garage to charge it up for a second. If you got someone to say that. Put a battery in there. How is it cooling him off when he re-enters? There has to be a number of miles that you can go. We're going to charge everything. like, a whole team fighting each other

1:37:16 it's all happening how are you gonna use it? exactly. Like, And then I said, write me an apology. What the fuck is wrong? But, yeah, it's one thing where you can kind of be like, who's the hardest person to probably convince Like that's probably the hardest person to convince of that. Is the computer scanning the internet for discussion of its reaction to certain questions?

1:39:56 let me adjust my thinking. Because then you get just psychopaths who just lead this group and get this group to think the way they think and act the way they act and move things in a direction. towards what we believe, We've got a few years left before these things are just talking to us. People use this thing so weird right now. Third behind Yahoo.

1:42:20 the way that people are using us like we're all quality like qa testers for like why why ask it It could write you an explanation or a poem. Like, I could see that being automated. asked a thing to write you a paper but if you're a 35 year old dude looking at the internet you're like why why are you spending time asking it to write you poems about donald trump or joe biden

1:44:08 It really looks like, you know, I'm sure you probably sat down where you like, hey, you know, here's two hours of stuff. where you wrote where you're like oh he was maybe gonna get to something and it didn't like a bunch Everyone's a different gender. Seven years and you essentially just, like, put on a thing? AI promises shit like flowers and chocolates.

1:46:13 And we could do this the right way. and you baby forever. Just a little bit of an They're like, hey, you whispered into my ear, we don't even need him. They're going to get better at coding. They're going to get better talk to you. It's going to be your friend. And you're and you're gonna have a best friend and your best friends a fucking robot Yeah, yeah.

1:48:00 You're like, this sucks, mom. robot? You got an Android girlfriend? Yeah. She goes flying through the air and does flips. Yeah, it sounds That's what it seems like, though. doctor in the middle of the night yeah they give you a four-year-old baby and how i think how it It's a robot. You have to go on vacation. Literally. Idiots like me just getting like dummied by a bunch of robot traders, really.

1:51:55 and AI, walks, facial tracking and recognition, tells stories, jokes, plays games, sings, So that's a little robot friend. I mean, the first use case for all of this stuff is always in the porn world. kind of like showing his screen the way you guys show your screen. What are the rules on all that stuff? Right. I don't know what they call it. And a lot of times people will be like,

1:54:12 Right. this stuff. What do you think? for you to watch it seeing as she doesn't even exist anymore she's not alive anymore is it You go, what about a guy whose wife died and he's been jerking off thinking of her and What's harm, right? And then there's certain issues like that where you're like, glad I don't have that job. That could be your thing.

1:57:14 I don't think there's going to be a limitation. See if you can pull that up, AI made it I get it it's not as cool as Alex make it look at that face look at what they do, what they don't do. Mini-golfing champion of the metaverse. That's a wild show. The animators are fucked. And how many illustrators? about quite a while ago and he talked about it with automation yeah you know and that we're

2:01:08 They were, including ones I have that didn't exist, wasn't a job eight years ago so there's a lot of seen that guy this guy rules this guy rules right I don't know. There's something about watching someone who looks like they're having a good time. Yeah. Yes. and did all those stunts, Fucking maniacs, man. The one guy that had to jump off the highest thing.

2:03:42 Bro, those guys are nuts. Yeah, I love Steve-o. all these like wild, crazy videos. I don't know if I do all this stuff. stuff that they like and with a guy that's never done this in his life. Jesus. It's funny how many things become So I like it. I mean, I love it. Right, sure. Yeah. Okay, watch this. But it's also because he's having a good time. The good times.

2:06:30 man getting popular that blew up. Come on, man. That shit's hilarious. And everybody was like, we love her. Oh my God. some of it is that with comedy. Then you actually have to murder guys. And all their lyrics are about killing. used in court right now. about murdering people. so crazy. There's just so many different ways that people break through and become famous today.

2:09:29 There's a guy like a Mr. Beast out there that has arguably the biggest show in the world. really directed he's not being produced there's no executives leaning into his ear telling him what to do. Yeah. Like I always think of, even if you think of what you're describing, Way before. they had what it took. And you're going to have to drop a, just a bag of cash out if you want to get back in

2:11:37 and it sounds amazing, but it's you just moving your fingers. When someone just does something that sort of syncs up with your brain, You know what I mean? Cypress Hill. And they're like, fuck! you see these little like things yeah but It's hard to judge it right. The, like, the long monologue with the applause break. Yes. And one of the big things I'm always like talking to editors about is that

2:14:43 And I think that, yeah, but like the three tricks, that's not enough tricks. There's a little something there. I don't know. like a room full of people with different like if i say this like do normal people feel that like yeah there's that and there's um i guess you know you just see that someone's putting together Hey man, you got something. Something's there. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to,

2:17:27 What are you doing? And the guy like acts it out and like oh no I understand. That operation definitely doesn't work as good when you're like, meet me in the hotel room. Pulp Fiction. He's done so many fucking movies Just the ego that comes with that. and you're fucking grinding your teeth like people think about these parties lawyers covering up dead bodies, like, you know?

2:20:32 and he told me that I was like yeah I know that's available to do oh my god like he told me that you know take There's people that just wanted to give you advice because they didn't like the path that you were on. I go, you should go back and do it the first way. And I'm like, oh my God, dude. I think it was like Seinfeld and Marin or something. there's types of funny and some is better.

2:22:46 You're like I like this type of comedy and he was like that type of comedy is bad clean comedy is the way to do and he wanted to have a talk to me afterwards. to follow his path. this is what I enjoy more but I like that kind of stuff like especially What type of guy are you? I mean, the best one for you is probably what's the truest to your actual personality.

2:24:13 You know, I heard a guy talking about kind of like 2000, maybe like 16, 17. I was like, you know, what about like Tim Ferriss? Maybe you don't like yourself either. maybe if you liked yourself you would like It just makes you a cunt. That, like, you wish you had more than you do. Are your needs met? You're like, what is it? much as you hate that other thing because you can be cynical and still positive and i think that

2:27:22 like yeah just being like, this guy stinks. social video game and you're complaining about take it into your own hands and start Like you could always you can you can always win yourself. And they also think that, like, there's certain things that are going to be big milestones, You can't control all that other shit. Get to a point where you don't have to think about it anymore.

2:29:55 Yuck Yucks is like the big chain. Squad message boards. So through, randomly through like one of your message boards, guys met, guy funded another guy, made a comedy club. The guy's like, I got money. I'll fund it. So randomly through one of your message boards, And you wouldn't even know that. is the fucking shit. So cool. one guy that doesn't speak english that well, a dentist. Everybody's got a dentist. Right, right, right.

2:31:41 I know. Time in Hollywood, when Brad Pitt kills this woman with smashing her face into a fireplace. Grandfathered in yeah doing this kind of like insane uber violence and have you know? All of it seems crazy. But if you have a regular movie that becomes graphically sexual, and then there's the fireplace. what the fuck is wrong with you? and sometimes you kind of don't.

2:34:05 You have to. who is trans, Yeah, and especially in a place where you're like, good cultural commentary. There's certain things that you like, you're not allowed to bring up anymore. And it's, even have to be a crazy take for you to not talk about it. There's certain things that you're not allowed to bring up anymore. At a certain point in time, like, come on guys.

2:35:42 COVID it went back to there The don't say that guy? No, I think people are going to become more rational about subscribing to very specific ideologies. And it's a natural thing that people do. It has to be life begins at the moment of conception and you're on the other side There's got to be some sort of a rational alternative to the base realities of the world

2:38:48 Our whole culture is being dominated by this desire to make more and more money. the fuck it is that 25 years that stinks and because you're right though what they're all paying attention to these three I didn't even know there were left-wing doctors Don't care what this guy thinks about pizza again. He's like, Biden guy. Fucking Biden, huh? Okay, those aren't lizard alien, are you? Oh yeah, fucking Biden, huh?

2:40:37 worked on people if they thought that person That guy's a piece of shit. on their shoulder. Like with the crazy hair, like a cartoon profile, the whole side of his body. Is there anyone with an Eric Trump tattoo? Jamie, how many Trump tattoos are there? We can find out how many Eric Trump tattoos there are. Look at this. Look at that Trump with tribal design.

2:42:34 That's crazy, and it's like Mickey Mouse hands. I wonder if any of these- That looks like you. But when you talk about Biden it's talking about politics He's got that face. Top, left, down one. That guy's on his way to the Capitol to mess stuff up. So it's like a halfway done Biden back tattoo. Yeah. What is that one that says the ape? What is that?

2:44:58 Shia LaBeouf? saying that, I think people were just like, okay, that's fine. watch Trump kind of just assumes at this point in time that someone is helping him make decisions There's so many moving pieces. I'm really better at this now. They did a really good job at running a company. It's too tempting to be an evil cunt. Have you ever worked for the government?

2:47:38 The amount that people Jesus Christ. Drive 45 minutes Good donuts The best gig country china's trying to they're trying to do it yeah they're trying to they're banning everything but we got to all agree to it. I'm going to be talking too much shit You're going to be like, yeah, well, that's not good. privatize all the police you know if someone said listen we're just gonna stop funding the police. We're gonna privatize this we're gonna all pitch in

2:51:19 That's how you get them sold. It's so scary. What are you going to do? You can't change the game. It exposes what politics really are in the weirdest way, where it makes people recognize, It's like this weird money extraction dance that you're watching. We are being invaded by balloons. That China said they were being aggressive? China admitted it was theirs?

2:54:44 but right so the idea happened during World War II. The Japanese So they had, see if you can find the story The balloon was made out of paper? So this is an old trick that they've been doing for a minute. As tail as old as time. Where's the spy? Yeah, what's the difference? Yeah, what they that balloon doing? Is that really better than that? What's the difference?

2:57:39 But it's kind of what it is. What are they spying on? You don't have any photos that I haven't seen. like how do i look and you're. Well, worse than that is money. In your world- Are you wearing clothes? Most people can still have jobs. But there is no... Also, Manual labor for no purpose you get like break the rocks for no we don't even need the rocks

3:01:00 the, you know, the dude that's just going to like the tell it like it is guy probably charge of this whole thing? Let's tear it down. Yeah. We're going to stop this with this. Yeah. but we're not going to let you have kids anymore. You know, there's like people have so it's in you a little, you know? because it's all fake, so you're just like, Well the best and also the only thing they needed electricity. So then what do they do?

3:03:55 People are going to be able to program in terms of like, if they allow it to be like crowdsourced. truthful to us and tell us all our flaws or should it just embrace us and just coddle us things. Like, don't ask, listen, you go, and he calls you up how are you pal he wants to talk to you about your life and it's great you're I'll tell you one thing.

3:05:56 How about 10 a day and you don't get fat? We might actually offer you another ride. And you go, oh, funny thing about here, Ari Shafir told us a story once about and relationships. Came back jobs a second. Yeah. In 15 minutes. It's only 15 minutes, but in your mind with your life. You were fucked for three months So that was basically Ari. There is something to be said about you said one of the things you said earlier was, you know, we're getting close to, you know, reverse aging and all that stuff.

3:08:47 he goes every 10 years think about everyone this is kind of what he does be able to capture. no it's which one is it arcs arcs this is how effective that campaign was why like right a cool comic that like once you start saying something and everyone's there like Maybe it just kills the guys and it does it to the girls Because it gets programmed by dudes and then it kills off all the guys

3:10:59 But if you're just abandon all the need for social interaction? Has that been programmed into it? Yeah. Has that been They're all storming the gates like one of the biggest problems that probably will kind of present itself is like you know like So if you kind of have computers, All the stuff that we have So it's going to be like, why are we hanging on to this jealousy thing?

3:13:32 If AI became sentient and just said, we're not going to kill you, just no more babies. and give you we're just going to fix it in the world So that's the simplest way for them to do it. imagine if it gets to the point where that's thinking about the world like this, and it seems very You know, especially America, which is one of the things I like about here.

3:16:12 online lady in England And that they had access to their their home because they work for the gas company and they're like this would never happen in the that you're allowing cops to be in. if it goes terribly. But it's almost always going to go doing over there all right we're taking this over or like something you know do you think we would You might have got a contact tie.

3:18:10 They don't have guns like we have in America. Handgun sales. Yeah. It is related. It's like, it's in the ethos. Because comedians always, Freedom of Speech is almost like a sexy issue in some ways. That's the problem when people are short-sighted because they're short-sighted they think that their so it's like a thing that people say they want That stuff's crazy.

3:21:41 Isn't that amazing? and how to handle this and handle that. Yeah, there was something about tweets even back then. What was it, Jamie? What are you doing? I was just like, what is this? We've been rolling for like YouTube.com slash The Boys Cast and everywhere you get podcasts. That video is hilarious. They start spilling I don't want to give it away.

3:24:05 But that shit was, yeah. Yeah. Like, what are you talking about? Bye, everybody.