Joe Rogan Experience #196 — Matt Paxton Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Let's start this officially. I mean, it's to a point now where I have a hard time. I'm really having a hard time living a regular life. in lake tahoe nevada i got my ass kicked by a bookie and like had to start over wow like i you know, it can't taste that bad. It's not that horrible. And get out of trouble I mean there was a lot of It's not that bad

2:05 Oh, my God. I think there was a birthday cake involved or something. These people are not crazy. Does it just fuck with the way they see reality? had judges and lawyers and doctors i mean we had one lawyer that were one judge that we literally It was like art and fancy things, antiques, physical stuff which is hard to believe i mean we could get deep into these hoarders get into big

4:11 uh, They drive a lot of my theories on life. wow, They're from North Carolina. Their last album was Rick Rubin produced. Russell Simmons? No. the song breath ten thousand words acoustic it's probably not something You'll see them. Their live is really amazing. Distraction74? Uh-huh. Hit that one live. Distraction74? Is that a song? Yeah. I find that slightly offensive.

6:30 This? Yeah. Whoa. I'm a huge fan of the podcast, and I'm geeking out to be here. I think that's the difference. I don't have to think about a company all day. What's really hard for people is, you know, when you fucking work 40 hours a week plus traveling, commuting, that's a lot of time that's not yours. That's why ridiculous systems hitting rock bottom for me

9:45 and you're like, fuck, I'm not getting a real job. Absolutely. and here you are with your shit together. There's nothing. Yeah, but I sure didn't for 15 All my guys are ex-con. And he goes, well, you know, it was me or him. Because they're going to go back to jail the next day if they fuck up with us. And I know they're not. Excuse me. a vegan diet I mean they're already

12:10 Anything. I get it. to fix people. He's the current light heavyweight champion, You think it's hard to eat a healthy lifestyle The food is so bad. this is the matrix most i mean that's that insanity. Most of my dudes are young black men that never knew their dads. But it's okay for the guy to sell oxycodone. They'll give me their heart and they'll give my hoarder, they'll give 100% effort to my client.

14:34 I agree. and terrible neighborhoods where everybody's stealing yeah. And I don't want to, I actually found out from some of my guys, you don't even qualify. You're only available for educational until the last two years of prison. Really? You're only available he went in, he had to beat a guy up It's insane. So he, I mean, nothing, know 30 minutes how did they look first of all how'd they ever let that guy out of jail

16:54 I'm doing his rehabilitation. We go into prisons the last two years. They get it. So when they get out and we train them And as long as it's a good business, they're going to make money. Yeah, it can be. If we hire them to rebuild Iraq, why can't we hire them to rebuild Compton? It's amazing. I need – that's part of who I am. where you're getting this rush off of only positive things

19:28 You've channeled your obsession. I don't think they can be helped. Yeah, I agree. He had a weird look on his face, man. There's one guy who beat a guy to death with a stick. yet you seem like a pretty together dude. Literally shoveling shit for $12 an hour. When I hit rock bottom, I mean, I literally lost everything. I was living on a buddy's couch for 200 bucks a month and I couldn't come up

21:52 And I was living on my buddy's couch, and it was my 30th birthday, which, you know, is a milestone in your head. How did you get that job? my hustle in the right place i'm still a hustler i'm just doing it on tv in a positive way i never How old were you? tourettes and he would get the hottest chicks at school. He's a really awesome, confident guy.

23:57 He said that. them with respect and as a woman and so i learned a lot from him but when my dad died i went to this because their dads have already, I volunteered every single weekend. I came up with a new business, my business, Clutter Cleaner. Right. My girlfriend was waiting for me. the chip down lost came out i had no money lost my last dollar came out. I had no money. I lost my last dollar, came out and had nothing. And it was

26:27 and he was like, and I was like Yet he's saving me. called the bookie and I was like I don't know my dude man on his money and I mean that was the night where i put a lot of dumb shit on the board i mean i was like all right i'll just and he goes, when can you get there? And I literally, my buddy, I quit. Oh, my God, I love it. Wow, that's crazy. for that kind of stuff anymore. Does it still

29:02 in a long time. Like, I can When gambling comes up, you just bing. difference on these podcasts so i dig that i'm starting to get it that's where i'm what is your where this guy had a massive, he had an acre in Brooklyn, there was a bum living there. And I was like, all right, Gregory, how'd you end up here, man? He was just huffing gasoline. Wasn't there a show on recently

31:06 She loved it. Second to porn. Wow. And that doesn't do it for me. because they know I'm not about to judge them, period. The shit, you don't smell. Now, dead dogs, it's hard. She just left it there. I laugh. We're on the second floor of an old Or she'd have her period in her diaper, and then she'd just throw it in the corner. And how is she existing in that environment?

33:56 Then they're just sitting there hanging out. yeah i ain't got a good part yet wait for it oh my goodness so then i'm talking to her about like house starts to shake up and down and by the way there's a 300 pound camera guy right behind me as under her shit and i felt so bad and i was like i just almost died in a freaking house and i'm It's like telling a girl with big tits that she has big tits.

36:18 Let her know you know. Right. that I'll never wear. kind of one of the, I mean, nonstop. People send me equipment they want me to's good in that way. I get cleaning supplies. I mean, nonstop. This is the number one question. It'll be full within two months and usually faster. they've got to have, there's a lot of new, whatever the trigger was. we brought in some new homeopathic doctors that have come in,

39:17 Acupuncture does some crazy stuff, man. Well, if you believe in it, yeah, sure. And when Joey Diaz describes it, it seems like he says weird shit sometimes. What are you talking about? If it works for you, cool. that have smart guys meet the guy and, you know, if you No, I'm just kidding. They were, like, You know, successful dudes. It was ridiculous. It was preposterous. It involved turquoise.

41:56 with someone and they're holding on to you? But he almost had like, it was a weird, like he had like a light pinch on me. They're like, why the fuck are you holding my knee? If I know that this guy is a hustle, he's a mental hustle, It's really obvious. Like a really good con man will make you uncomfortable and all of a sudden You know, I've been a stand-up comedian for 23 years.

44:14 And then you wind up... I don't even know. You fell for this. have gotten out of this. It's yellow Windex. We haven't done a podcast in, I don't know, months show i mean privately we found a lot There's so much going on in their head that they can't, you know, and only 600 of them got checked off. and she's like, okay, I better call. they're fucking crazy you just said it don't say that there's anything wrong being crazy because

47:32 They're crazy and nice. You know you're crazy? The old hoarder's joke is, The smell, man. It's the easiest way to get love. Absolutely. like it changes it for you yeah like we had an animal expert tell me one time she's like you Cats are going to do the same thing. And I was like, nope, my guys are. I don't think. are fascinating and so i actually wanted to start a senior relocation business,

50:36 Yes, they're fascinating. just to have one old lady clean her garage out she had a tattoo on her wrist I mean, her husband, her father, it's ironic. I could pick out the guy, amazing. And so for me, I love shit like that. And so that's why I wanted to hang out with old ladies. It makes sense. I lived actually the first year out of college. No, I'm kidding.

53:15 I couldn't compete against them. pragmatic dude my grandpa was always he just said you find out what no one wants to do and then do So do you have a lot of self-confidence issues because of this? why don't you think that's all you need I've never gone without that Tom Cruise created. I don't Because I'm so excited to see you, man. I'm fascinated by your past, for sure.

55:54 lose to you and then he'll start trying to raise the stakes or he'll barely beat you and you think I was always real aware that I wasn't that good, just being aware that someone's busting moves. me, me, me, me, me. Probably. I mean, like in a fight, I always say there's a fight, I always say it's one thing to quit and it's another to strategically stop.

57:29 trying to kill you and you're using self-defense, You know, you don't want to beat anybody. And that guy should let you go and everybody should be cool about it. Yeah. Human conflict, man. We know that you're saying that a family should be completely vulnerable Yes, I have guns, yeah. I don't want to have an abortion, but I don't want to not have the right to either.

59:36 Yeah, and I try not to get into politics ever. I'm happy. It's by the, it's the dumpster. That's like three of these rooms full. You smell it. I mean, it's a very citrusy... Urate. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. At some point, her husband was in a wheelchair. like, I'm driving a U-Haul cleaning up shit at home. And I'm like, I mean, was like i would i think i did it for 500 bucks the whole

1:02:30 to make sure I don't think she likes men, clean the house up. So we didn't clean the house. because I didn't want to get him in the house. Oh, yeah. though they'll show i mean they'll show it smeared against the wall there's one shot of me on the That's why shows like The Shield got away with being so crazy. after I would put a half hour on the decision to shit in the urban.

1:04:39 Like, it's rampant still, man. Now I walk into a house, I'll be like, oh, who raped you? It was a bad joke, but it was a joke. on uh on nbc i don't give a fuck you just don't give a shit i give it a hundred percent i don't They definitely police it a little bit, but they're pretty good with me. period. that thought that. That's a good lesson It doesn't make you gay.

1:06:34 I, um... that were pretty awful They still had double X chromosome. I'm never worried about the quality of the dick sucking I don't know that I've ever had it. a few shitty ones. She was like I always say if you're thinking don't bite it. That's what you like. This is amazing. with his butthole. Yeah the age. they spend the most money. Oh, that's what you call them?

1:09:00 Do gay guys feel uncomfortable They're enjoying their life. When you go to your house, is your house spotless? You can't control that. I'd always see him at a restaurant with John Mendoza. He can't do them. Well, my friend was looking at his house, went to his house that's for sale. No. You remember? Like I just looked at madness. How do you cure a guy like Howie Mandel?

1:11:33 Just let him be, man. I saw him at Caesars. Oh, he's hilarious. But I had one that I was passing around to a bunch of my friends when I was like, I guess I was probably like 19 or 20. You were always funny. Not really. I just would see funny shit. a bunch of friends that I used to do martial arts with and make them laugh in the locker room, stuff like that.

1:12:48 You almost feel like, hey, what is this? was it Talk Radio? I mean, that was... It was, yeah, it was 1994. God, that was a great show. That's the latest. I knew you from that. Yeah. I mean, you just keep going through. Yeah. She would be doing scenes, and. She's the hot one that you don't even know her name? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was pretty shocking.

1:14:13 And it was a, I think it was Raw Dog. Did you ever record that? And you were clearly just, the people in the audience were digging it, I'm Gonna Be Dead Someday is my first CD. It's on It was fun. Mitzi Shore used to hate dudes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like this one guy's like, that's a horrible idea. I guess you didn't like my idea. These pizza sluts were actually secret agents.

1:17:04 And a fucking dude was mad at me and stop being basically stop being a whiny little bitch. If I don't, that's fine too. actually, I actually dig this. was like this is so important that i get this show and by the time the network and the production company and everybody got done with it was a shitty show and I didn't want to do it My company's name is on it and it doesn't.

1:19:20 I think that, you know, the collaborative effort, like a real true creative collaborative A lot of times it is. i'm you know i say i'm the number one trash man in the country and a and e has no problem with you My podcast, I'm doing. like i'm lucky to have work i i can afford all my groceries and my mortgage in the same month And he goes, oh, I was a stockbroker.

1:21:45 five decisions away I've had many five decisions It could be one but of course I have a very fat head. I pissed all over my leg, dude, before i finally got it going in the bottle this is only You reached down to claw at your ass? No, no, no. I think he goes right in the asshole. No, but do you think when this shit happens, do you your asshole has your back.

1:24:05 I wish. Your asshole can't hold back the liquid. That's what I morning. Your asshole's like, wait a second, buddy. Wait. I wish. Yeah. celery um a one pair a big chunk of ginger and four or five cloves of garlic you're gonna i mean I've been talking to Montel and he was explaining to me And just doing that, it keeps like your digestive tract like really smooth because essentially like it's like it's a flush out.

1:25:28 is looking at what comes out of a person that doesn't eat healthily. I just like a finger in my ass. I'm talking about... A little fat is sexy. It feels like you're on a... We had a natural birth. It was amazing. The subsequent argument was do you circumcise the kid or not? in a world where everyone gets circumcised the pink sock I don't know. For the woman.

1:28:06 Sliced. That seems to me exposure to AIDS. Jewish women I think it's just freak out about that shit it's a weird fucking tradition that We should start some kind of non-profit. Have there been any? That's how much you got to pay? And, you know, and he was explaining it on a YouTube video. Yeah, whatever, man. Here's one of the problems, one of the benefits. Decrease

1:30:41 involving a tight foreskin. That shit's got to get dirtier. You have to clean it. Reduced urinary tract infections. Fewer problems with erections. Yeah. When you write especially at puberty we've made your penis feel less good such as HIV, HPV, genital Almost complete elimination of invasive penile cancer. I think all penile cancer would be bad. When they're trying to get it in, my buddy was telling me about it.

1:33:23 for your dick to come back out. You put it on your balls so you don't get blisters. That's a bit aggressive, I think. That's the guy, yeah. And mitzitzah means to suck, and it means doing so with his mouth. And one could say, Saliva has elements. that justifies blowing My nephew to a doctor A baby died in a New York hospital After contracting herpes from a controversial circumcision ritual.

1:37:04 This is March 6th. Yeah, this is from 2012. I've heard about it, another one in 2005. I don't give a fuck if it's in the tradition. One of the best arguments ever for your religion being fucking crazy. I'm glad I missed it. You crazy asshole. Nutty ass rabbi. I saw a cat actually pull itself out of a pile of human shit. she cleaned her we cleaned her house she stayed committed she did the therapy her kid her family

1:40:19 apparently this very informative psychedelic experience. You can actually ask it questions. You just did it with your own will and your personality. This is what you must do to overcome it. Oh, my God. Here's my deal on cats. But if he's cool with it, he's cool. I had a lot of friends in the Ironman world Well, you kind of have to be to be successful at those things.

1:42:44 I'm not. That's not what they think if they want to win though what if they're close they a lot of I keep saying it every day. By 9 a.m., Well, you've put it all, especially without going through like until my mom said sort of a desire to It's about that desire. I mean, people think I get a little preachy, and he's doing great, box so he was like That whole room was six feet higher about eight hours earlier. Oh, my God.

1:45:49 So they all starve to death out there? fucking and breeding they're like rabbits who's feeding them they feed on each other whoever dies and the city caught up with him over 20-some years. houses for $12 an hour or four glasses of whiskey. at least two times. The tires, Like, what are we going to do? And I go, Paul, when was the last time you had sex and he goes junior how old he yells to his son his son is like 43 years old and has like five kids they edited that out they didn't show it

1:48:49 in their mind sex motivates everything I do. I really believe that. Well, I hate that word, but my dad always, my dad's a big part of my life. I don't think it's about reproduction. Well, no. I'm just gonna make my wife happy and get laid. right after my dad died, Well, I mean, I had hit it. And I was like, good point. It's the backside of Maui. There's a family

1:51:15 Like, lived right down the street. Yeah, he's got a great ranch up in Makawa. So there's a big horse community on the higher upper side of West Maui. Really? Really? But you get a pass in a lot. When that CNN happy? She does. I used to watch him when he was a lot smaller. I think he fought a 55. He doesn't really fight at it either. He probably weighs close to 150 something when he gets into the octagon, 20 pounds of water.

1:54:13 There's a big difference between that and a guy who's 150 cutting down to 130. and like guys like George St. Pierre or Anderson Silva, they cut weight, But every now and then, guys will take a chance. No, no, no. And then the new company came along. Couldn't be better. You know, there was one point in time while they were financing the Ultimate Fighter

1:56:00 It does now. I mean, I'm amazed by the business side of it. He's a badass. I love those guys. He's awesome. And he makes you feel like you're a fucking idiot for not getting blown by a tranny. So hopefully I'll have a lot of listeners away. Yeah, he's amazing, man. So hopefully, I'm blown away by it, Well, or like go back in time and watch like Tommy Hearns and Sugar Ray Leonard

1:57:51 some type of chip that allowed us to watch like that's an exciting fight. it's very fascinating to watch, like, He very rarely gets hit. And when you see like him fight a guy like Sugar Shane Mosley Shane Mosley is a beast. of this butcher Two minutes? Yeah, I just enjoy – if you're good at something and you're totally passionate about it, awesome.

2:00:03 Yeah, yeah, we had Anthony Bourdain on. Wow, it's so ruthless. Oh! Yeah, how many people are completely removed from this aspect of eating meat? way north of Denver, They worked in the farm every day. It's the slab of meat that covers your spine. I don't think I really like watching this. what the fuck he's doing. I'll tell you that. Wow. for, you know,

2:02:41 that are really passionate other people be really good at stuff. I was just trying to make it out here. I need to learn some missions. I had sort of, in chasing martial arts and had become completely obsessed And then when I realized that I was going to have a different sort of a job How were you going to do it? I did it would just be better I didn't want to upset her

2:05:04 what the fuck are you thinking like this is that's crazy right but there was a point where Clearly. He motivated me and a lot of other people to get their shit together. that was, like, all, like, perfect and awesome, and it was fake. And then we were trying to make this this funeral that was like all like perfect and awesome Family members crying, and everybody's depressed.

2:06:44 Why? Dead cats, that's fine. shit that's got cum stains on it oh jesus i mean not digital and so we're going you see it physically We're going through the house, and then the deeper we got, picture. So we were like, pictures of kids? It's probably because he was dying clean your fleshlights people it probably Yeah. And that dude was molesting boys and got three years. Jesus. He gets out and he calls us to clean the house again why i was like

2:10:27 might see. And one day I actually got passed by a dude with one leg, No, he has an artificial leg, but he's only on one leg, I mean, the pain about it is apparently amazing. Jesus Christ. is good if a guy's beating your ass that's strategically stopping that's not quitting You motherfucker. It's not that simple, but it helps. You're getting, you know, a bookie is beating you up and you owe him $40,000.

2:12:44 Like I had a Why do they say it grows? Because I've talked to people the addiction still grows. I think I'm coming off. And that the disease is unstoppable. And that all you could do is sort of manage your life and you're never cured. I mean, anyone that's listening, your life is shit, man. You can make some choices to change. It doesn't mean it's going to be horrible i mean anyone that's listening your life is shit man you can make some choices to change it doesn't mean it's gonna be perfect

2:14:59 than it is right now you got to make some decisions and make a plan and get it set and Like I said, people love hearing people figuring things out. I've been there. This was a great conversation. And what is your podcast again? By the way, it's for non-iTunes users. It's called iTunes. Five a day. I enjoy it. Could you bring one home or would you get in trouble? Oh, no. I don't need that. You don't need that? It's too much effort. Yeah. We should have got you a flashlight. Spank wire. Could you bring one home or would you get in trouble?

2:16:50 Really? Think of your buddy's wife. Someone else's wife. Someone else's wife. His wife's hot, but it's not an achievement I love being married. So I would never want to fuck that up. Don't offer it. It's Clutter Cleaner. Yes, I am filming my DVD It's going to be me, Joey Diaz, and Duncan Trussell. Don't worry about it. Yeah, Louis changed the game.

2:19:29 Yeah. thank you and this weekend a lot of our friends