Joe Rogan Experience #1960 — Andrew Schulz Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. It was cool. and you sense at that peep sight. Yeah. perspective like the people who can do it on horseback, you know, you Yes. Like they would send a small party out and they would bring so much food And you know some people chalk it up to like roads like why was Kangas gang is con so effective Who do we have? Rachmanov. Yeah. Shavkat Rachmanov. Shav guys that look a little Asian. Yeah. Yeah. Rachmaninoff.

3:50 That motherfucker's so good. But the reality is like every single civilization that has been in control has gone under. The problem is if we go out, we go out ugly. servers, crash everything, financial disruption, crash power grids. it's not going to be us. What if Putin really does have cancer? You don't want to tell us about the code? So is that the concern with tick-tock? Oh, yeah, there was some fascinating conversations today because it looks like they're gonna ban it

6:55 And they're doing something with that data. a little information about our youth It's very easy to get shared. Like, why is another country coming up with the best form of social media? He just thinks that, no, this is just China kicking our ass, how amazing is it to be American? If we can change, you can change. Take me back to this. And also out of perspective because it's the worst shit out of millions and millions

10:16 Everyone was scared scared of the fucking Russians man People relaxed. 89 okay, so 90s so the 90s along, and no one's worried about war anymore. What's their cars like so space race? Not much space influence, really. Right, none of that. are non-toxic like psilocybin like things that your body makes like dimethyltryptamine That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

13:20 It was good. get conspiratorial, those people who have decided maybe they won't sell it in U.S. dollars, they Bro, especially us. like shane an older version of shane but what i loved about the pyramid conspiracy is that the Is it 4,000? Yeah, yeah. We just have a hard time imagining that Carving all these blocks and then people just dragging them in the sand. I think it seems a little bit unreasonable

16:48 I think we could. Do you know if you cut You need to go, man. Because we're thinking of technology only as technology that we just have to use our imagination yeah because we're thinking of technology only So, wait, what do you mean? things with. You couldn't. Does that make sense? If you tell it it's a god, it'll definitely start talking to you. That's true, right?

19:13 Hedy Lamarr, who was this gorgeous actress, was a brilliant woman who had quite a few inventions. For playback or something like that? Do you know Leah Lamar, the stand-up? That's my grandma. Yeah, that's like slapping women in the movies was standard. Yeah, yeah. Ali McGraw. I was talking about, but I didn't. She was a beautiful woman. Like, he's actually hitting her.

21:33 Bro, this was normal back then. Media so as people got to see it yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and you just got to see it Never. You don't have to do that. They want you to love them. but uh what i'm saying is like when their verbal commands are just learning things like I think it's important. I know. weird sensation i said yesterday but i was just like i'm like proud of you but i don't mean that

24:27 presents and it's in all these you know comedy clubs around and i thought of the club and i did both of the rooms and the rooms do separate things for comedic growth that is really important yeah that comes out of the these rooms on the East Coast is the cold weather cold You were concerned because you said to me was something about the big room first and i'm not gonna be like i was concerned about the big room you were concerned

26:08 That's never, right? filling space and it was like you can learn to step on them and that's how I came up in New York Just like absorbing everything, Woods. You ever watch Tony Woods? Those guys are masters. It just absorb, absorb, absorb. Just think about what's the best place to develop comedy Like the audience knows that you're just getting this idea.

28:24 It's like the whole idea is to be able to, you just, it'd land on a card. Love. That was a good move, too. It's like the whole idea is to be able to, Yeah, I don't want to say the one we were talking about yesterday No, no, no. everybody is working towards the right thing. I'll say that. I'm like, I don't care if it makes money. Yeah. and I'd set it up just for comedians yeah so I'm like why don't you just do that yeah so I just did

30:48 I think I told you that. Yeah. You've got a soccer team, right? But for people who are not gay, sport here. And the people who are So maybe some people know people who got sick and got better real quick. I'm going to go look at Texas. And then you fly out here and you convince 12 world-class comedians to move here too. they would all Stephen Wright they'd all leave right but it was an amazing

33:26 It never really had, like, a rock-solid, big, booming scene. You know, like, Hicks, Kinison, they were in Houston and here. Dude. Scotland's like this. But yeah, I've always wondered that with Boston. Like, a guy who's, like, roofing in Boston still is like, yeah, but I'm from Boston. There's so many variables and so many factors, Why? And he was really fucking funny.

36:15 I wanted to avoid him and told me he thought He's ruthless. He's beautiful. And, dude, he's had two strokes. i think it's like you know it's a benefit in a way isn't it funny that it's almost like you I hope you have a great set. It's like you're making me think about comedy scenes and like what makes it good. have to understand our art form in a historical perspective. What do you want?

40:15 in literally invents an art form because it just didn't really exist that way i mean mark twain And there was guys who could deliver in an amazing way. He just breaks the mold. Today. people have. And like So we have some watermelon at the party. see past that so the only way that they can relate is what they know about black people yeah and now I appreciate you.

43:11 what the fuck, man? We'd be dying laughing. He had this joke about gays. It's such a great joke. What was it? They're testing you? Everybody always knows a dude's got fucked in jail Yeah, Wayne and yeah Well you know what it is? The more sets you do, the better you get. Occasionally you talk to your wife like, It seems way more simple than it is. there's a statement or there's like like i'm now i'm thinking of that joke that we won't say that

46:48 The punchlines will come and they'll insert themselves. And we're all going yeah joe kind of it's like that's how you feel. I almost, yeah, I almost think I memorize, and you go, oh, I forgot that section. So so many find yourself like some punch lines you have to hang on to for a little bit and we're all together. Yes, my favorite way. It's my favorite way to do shows. Really? Yes. My favorite way.

50:00 You're going to stick to the bits. There's too many people. Yes. What's the War of Art book? a professional shows up and a professional works. it was like it's like really hard it's like really hard for me not necessarily bad like but And so it's just this snapshot, and then you have to kind of figure out who you are now. And I never, like I always valued, you know, Patrice was always kind of like my North Star

53:38 pure about what i'm going through and that was that was that was tricky man it was it like really I either talk to myself. And talking. Everything just kind of like... You know that I'm telling you how I feel about this thing. And I think that they're there, and you gotta write a joke about it. no of course that's because you care about what you do and that's why you're so funny

56:52 But if I was given this task to do that, Okay. And so I can just zone in on the page and I'm thinking about every word much longer than it takes to type that word. And you're like, you're in a time lapse. Do you find that you you speak differently when you write? Yes. Then when you talk to a person? Right. Definitely. Well, you definitely it's not natural when you write it's not clean but what you do is you take

59:29 For me, it's not sitting down, but it's like, okay, there's a weird meditative state that I can get to if I'm running. I can't do that and I can't tap in every time. So it like hits when you're breathing heavy, But when I can, thoughts become really clear and ideas become really clear. exists and then you just kind of find it i I don't think I've created any comedy.

1:01:53 Because I think one of the traps of the human mind is that when you get good at something, your ego inflates. be there thinking like oh god is my wife going to be upset There's no fair. 39 39 is probably worth $5 billion. Having a great ass time. Same pure cocaine straight out of Columbia. Who would be a good reference? You did. He have said somebody else you did who would be a good reference

1:04:52 fucking John Travolta I tried coke once. Peter Frampton. I don't like that kind of talk. you're you're doing a thing whether it's rock and roll music or whatever it is and then all You know, you're living three, four years to every one year. They're like physically addicted to Coke. They don't know what they're talking about. The old surgery. Like the new ACL surgeries are incredible.

1:09:03 Yeah, they turn that into your ACL. After an ACL surgery? and screw it in and No, it changes it. It overcomes it with its own cells. So originally, all it is, I think it's 150% stronger than a regular ACL. Like, David Lucas asked you about something, and you just started, like, rifling off. crazy moment like if something wild happens i just have like a snapshot of it it's very weird

1:12:25 I go, okay, I'll go. Yeah, yeah. it's like people only like when you think of a person that's stupid a lot of times stupid people because it's couched with all this other nonsense term memory is pretty much gone but like with repetition things start to lock in in his long Does he have Alzheimer's? have taken for depression and other things and maybe who knows in 50 years from now we'll go wow

1:15:26 We're very similar to, They're so durable. Yes. How long is that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, not- It's almost 20 years old. So it's like why does everybody need to get new ones all the time? You're turning the key to start the engine if you write the car though that's I rented one in Salt Lake City. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing.

1:19:22 What do you expect is going on here? But when I started making money, I shifted clicks. What are you doing with all your money? That's the most liberating shit. Well, I think for sure when I first started getting money, I'm going to have some fun. I was telling him, like, I'm such a Cool G Rap fan They'd go this. Yeah. Radio's not in the car. Wow, people were stealing radios.

1:22:38 Like he really stopped a lot of like car theft. And you're like, oh, yeah, Lifestyles of the Poor and Dangerous? And for not even his fault. Ask Beavis. it was funny like there were funny lines and i remember i remember like seeing i'm hearing this and then play a cassette or CD of that person. cassettes on the streets they still do that shit and it's like fam nobody is a cd player like

1:25:46 lifetime i don't think there's anything that's comparable because i think everything is kind of This fucking culture you have is nonsense. Yeah. It's something about it like that's why I love the internet that's why I mean we could talk about TikTok and we could talk People just fall in line with the narrative that existed. Isn't that crazy? Fees and it was a different world because the money that he would get would just be from live gigs

1:29:33 At all. I think... I think if you don't have that, Because there's certain styles that always interested me in a different way. around a bunch of guys like attell or shane gillis or you or you know if you're around these thing but i think it's important like within that to have like a version that you think is the most offensive jokes i mean you were doing it there was a few of us doing it but like a lot of people were like okay i need to get on comedy central i need to do whatever and i was like you couldn't do offensive jokes. I mean, you were doing it. There was a few of us doing it. But like a lot of people were like, okay, I need to get on Comedy Central.

1:33:22 I just feel like that's important, like to have an almost like arrogance i don't see you going oh well this is trendy i'll try that right right and why is that because you And I don't care if it's one-liners. You also have to, like, not be committed to, like, the way you're doing it and just be open because sometimes like it's one of the best ways to create new jokes.

1:35:45 It is. Were you around when it popped? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They didn't have any punchlines. happened in the 1980s where people could just talk like a comedian. anything. It's fucking 100% who would like wear suits yeah and he would do this like really clean comedy that's like clunky I hope they're good. funny post like i think people really value funny now i think that's why it's there and then like

1:39:02 Yeah, I'm curious. Like what do you think about that? Like what percentage of people stay sane from birth to death? Like, what do you do about that? Do, I mean, maybe people go crazy and they come back. I think we did. Yeah. We're just trying, and we're trying to be really funny. The weightlifter emoji, the heavies. So what I said was we're talking about a woman who

1:43:29 So I called her and there's a phone convo of me trying to explain to Yomi what the heavies means. And she goes, she's so sweet. It's not that. I just think you'll see. Listen, so I go, but we were just you know talking about that and we call And it was a cool thing. but she had never like had that happen, Oh my god This is culture now, bro. Yeah, probably when I said it to you.

1:46:36 Dude. Yeah, The heavies are crazy. you were talking about flow state. yo me. Well, it might not be a crop, might be animals. Yeah. Yeah. But if they weren't, They'll chain you up. It's like there's places where you're not a slave, but you really can't leave. Yeah, for sure. But there isn't. That's the reality of these phones. I have a fucking iPhone 11.

1:52:35 in like the congo well that's where the primary source is for sure but i think there's at least or are we working with a cartel? You have a fake scenario. And so now you've propped up a multi-billion dollar industry south of the border filled with ruthless murderers. make their own moral decisions, but maybe if we legitimately are the moral high ground,

1:54:32 Yep. give them a great wage, They live in a great community. Okay, great now They grab you by your hair, fucking drag you back down onto the floor. For sure. this is great for me yeah yeah there's that the the uh it is interesting but i think that But yeah, well, that was the- phones but that's because cell phones are the primary method of communication.

1:58:06 Chemistries and lithium nickel manganese But that's a different measurement unit, right? kilograms for a UV. It's electric cars. Until somebody cleans that up, the mines, until somebody actually looks at it, every electronic thing with lithium ion batteries is connected to this horrific crime against humanity. talked about it in front of fucking millions of people people know it's a thing yeah they're not

2:00:11 For all of us. If Apple was smart 100%. It would be a big status I-C-C The state of Idaho Have your phones made by people who are getting paid to work? Oh We're going to make them care about us. I can't hit purple with green. It creates the moat. you. He's just stuck in a... all that kind of shit from the samsung are better and i see those videos where samsung compares it

2:03:54 You're the best. Okay, so first of all, Samsung was claiming that their phone can take 100x zoom pictures, Because the moon, you know the moon doesn't turn? Pick up the skulls. Moon is rotating around us. And it follows us. Why doesn't it spin? Imagine the earth is spinning. The moon doesn't spin. Exactly. But since it's locked into the gravity of the sun. Exactly.

2:06:35 The moon gives us the same face constantly. Mostly Nazis. who understands I'll pick one there's some pretty BMW's the shit. Is that the conspiracy? if you think about the amount of How did they kill so many people? What the fuck causes that? Unbelievable. It wasn't Colt 45. It wasn't a Colt 45. They would hold on to the side of the horse, and they would shoot past the horse's neck.

2:10:53 So it used its body as a shield. native americans like they were you know they were in tune with the land. They also had this dude's got a Henry rifle and It says, well, the Henry rifles, they still make Henry rifles today. Because my understanding of the muskets was it was kind of a guess. See, the difference between a rifle and a musket is not just the way the powder knocks.

2:12:52 It has the bullet spinning. They would use them to steer the arrow, but now we use a plastic. There's a type of broadhead called a single bevel broadhead. Yeah, that's old as fuck. If it's beveled in on both sides to a point, very good because it penetrates bone because it's a single blade. There's a lot going on with those things, man. snap? No. You want to push it through.

2:15:31 He got shot in the eyeball during a riot. uh, Like if you're trying to shoot an animal, Yeah. when you let that ball go and you with distance. Well, it's like anything else. Because you've got to think it's not John did a thing for us back on it where he shot. Look at this. Yeah. And then aim it. Yeah, I mean they must have just been fucking They had, you know, I mean, they had so much money.

2:19:50 Like the more money you have They're taking all the shit your business is just conquests and stealing, wow. Yeah. that makes perfect sense yeah No, no, no. Joaquin Phoenix. Maybe it was a function of like they didn't understand the lead pipes made you fucking This was a guy told me in in Whoa. Isn't that a little bit of karma? I mean, I don't mean to diss on her

2:22:47 Yes, I have that. But she was really going off about how proud she was about being boosted a few times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope so, too. you're probably going to live a better life and enjoy this life, this that i've given you yeah i wonder if that's it because yeah what is it the pascal's wager Fucking robe in the sky. and what you believe and what your faith tells you.

2:25:12 Because they have a very specific narrative. Judaism was successful. There's a reason why Christianity comes around and it's successful and there's a reason why Islam comes around like there's some just say you're sorry that's it that's it that's it just say you're sorry Yeah. like these figures, like Jordan is a perfect example, There's something that you do that makes you feel good.

2:28:08 about religion has to be comfortable for you know religion doesn't have to be I can't You don't conquer this. You don't win. You'll die. Right. something that takes away your ability and when three minutes are up, you get out and you And you did it on purpose. Some happiness. I think they think they need medication to get through life, Yes. and their theory is right,

2:31:53 Not really. And I think they lived in different ways. They've always just like assumed the timeline was accurate. But you find these similar stories everywhere. Because it happened! the fucking ice caps. Yeah. Imagine tents, right? I would assume. Like I wonder if you could like tie cultural attributes Right, because the fucking sky gods might come down and wipe out your whole village.

2:34:40 Then the Bahamas, and then South Korea. Dominica. Mexico, of course, I imagine. how the natives Imagine trying to get away USA owns that category. ground. i'm talking about go to calgary i'm talking about go to Edmonton. Like, Hey, and what the elements provide you. It's a good question. because I think Audi, Mercedes, BMW. Mechanics and the study of machinery.

2:38:11 Right? dual education system back long long time ago where they would split up a theoretical and Philosophers. But Germany was like, No, the Germans. Oppenheimer's not from Operation Paperclip. Like, the rocketry program in Berlin was insane. is that like the version Wow. bomb and it only advanced to preliminary research wow how far away do you think it came from us going from preliminary research to the manhattan project like how long was that

2:41:30 and why and every time they were And they're like, whoa, what the fuck is going on here? attacks on allied ships so it could be storms but also they fought they definitely had hand-to-hand The greatest book on strategy and like duels. And that's to the death. I don't think we're talking about haikus. Are we looking at these guys, these UFC dudes, are we like, oh, this is the modern day version of it.

2:44:48 But there's also that you are competing with your willpower, your technique, your knowledge, your fucking physical gifts, and you're doing it in front of the world. No one thinks that. He doesn't have a fucking chance in hell And I just don't see that happening, man. the beauty of it all yeah what about his brothers did you think he thinks he could fuck up his

2:47:18 But don't you think it's, like, they had to be raised in a culture he played for the A's we played a bunch of teams was like his cousin who they That's what you need. excitement of excellence but also you're killing your ego Like what keeps you from doing that? And then not too much. causes people Steve Jobs. from Microsoft, Like, dancing and swinging.

2:50:01 What the fuck is this fucking dude? Love it. Always. should come down Like if you're coming the same comic All right.