Joe Rogan Experience #1962 — Eddie Huang Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. I feel like 2017, I think, was the last time. Yeah, we did hot yoga for your show. Shane's the man. Yeah. and fucking come back with some footage and try not to die. And he's like, what are you doing here? I was like, I'm going to try Formula One food, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, That's the best. Haimo's Arctic Adventure.

2:56 That one's heavy. but it's close to where you're trying to go. I want to go to Ethiopia, but I'm not going with Cho. And he said it's crazy when they shoot a baboon, grabs the arrow and like you see it grabbed out you're like yo Yeah. you can't even believe what you're looking at. I mean, I think they're just stealing water from everywhere. I drink your milkshake.

5:29 Thank you. top of luxury at the same time people are living on dirt floors with no electricity in a shack that But it's all existing simultaneously. Oh, my God. Yeah. Really? You get to the top, you get rich, and then I think you just want to eat. Yeah. When it's a child, it doesn't even phase you. The smell and this little baby's asshole is all fucking covered in poop.

9:11 Like maybe once every three or four months. Once a month. because one day I had to pick up her shit to be punched in the face, you're not going to get For sure. Like a lot of things knock you out. My girl had like a crazy food poisoning moment. like but like it turned out it wasn't food poisoning she had a much more serious like If you love her, get tired or something though.

11:31 and I can't remember. pants these Redskins pajama pants and I was like ah I just like jumped and screamed like what's No, no, no. It's horny time. You shit all are my favorites it's horny time all over it's horny time let's get horny i was mad at her first then i found out girls were getting That's probably part of the kink. Then you're going to shit this.

13:49 Not good. It's like, it's a live version of the internet. Let's watch it. It's so ridiculous. All right, I just texted it to you. This guy likes to hurt himself. Oh my god! He literally has, like, four teeth on each side of his face. Yeah. He's got like the Highlander boxer briefs Gucci Barry God bless you he's got like the that says colon crusher every few years

16:54 this guy's obsessed with hurting his channel. Oh, look at him. Oh, Jesus Christ. No, I don't. Or you could put him- A rock. I know multiple guys have lost nuts from kickboxing. Well, it only has CBD. So much floating around in it. That's got a shit ton which is just nuts. like oh I got this black rifle I got the CBN a war greedy our Empire's falling I

19:44 what scares like you have to do better like you're already this is this company's worth like fucking eight nothing has topped that guy's like idea for the global economy and I think somebody has to come around that is Yeah, to have a vision. to figure it out. But if it's the most important job in the world with international consequences and nuclear war rides on it and the economy rides on it and pandemic response and international relations and a porous border, and you just come into the job new.

22:47 Mm-mm. figure out a way to get money out of it and it's too late because you can't get money out of it people who run the country have a conversation with them. The best. Yeah. all over the place. And here's what happens if this goes down. Here's what happens if that goes What was the major difference? You got to be like part of this group or that group.

27:07 very specific and there's a hierarchy like your father's mom is higher your mother's mom is lower spent a lot of time in China, my family, my brother still lives in China. But the Chinese No country is benevolent. It's its own poison. It's like a way cleaner transaction. They're going to fuck you. Those are the people ruining it because I love America, but we got to look at ourselves and get better.

30:14 just like, what's going on over here? They're a weird sort of expanded empire. And now they're like, you know what? you're going to have a real problem because the people that are in control of that system So they talked about connecting it to a vaccine passport, right? for the opioid crisis. I'm sorry you can't buy a ticket. Like if you were a violent felon, you can't get a job.

33:12 but a government score would be fucking crazy. They're not going to budge. Oh, but they had to do that. really fascinating viruses you know i spent so much time over the last three years thinking about There's something that's like bad for business and good for people. Yeah, they walked. And Obama had a moment there where it's like, and they were like,

36:41 That's it. You know it's it's it's so substantial that And I think it just became a thing where Adidas So if they don't pay them, that's one thing. I mean, the guy, the safety for the Bills almost died. They just fucking go for it. your leaders will say something propagandistic like an education is priceless and you just they're saying it in terms of like, you don't really know, you don't really know what you're

39:52 and when like how the samurais made their swords like you could learn a shitload without going own. But the one function of school that really helped me personally and is different for everyone, Yeah. from high school. Because you get like lessons they didn't intend to give you. just accidentally mumble shit and i was like yo i never thought about it that way do you mind if

42:51 I need to be able to like travel here, walk to a CVS, buy weed, and then go jerk off on the couch at the Four Seasons. It's unfortunate. Minnesota is, The only thing that stopped it was cannabis. I'm not mad at those taxes. $60 worth of weed will put you on the fucking moon. So it's not hurting you to give that 39%. Let's tax the shit out of it. They should be grandfathered in.

45:56 Yeah, but the problem is if those weed guys did that, here's the problem. You know, because like I don't like seeing the local weed dude like not be able to compete anymore either. They measured the edibles. Yes. It didn't taste bad. Write that in there. This is not what's happening in this country. We know that's dumb. You could go crazy. So would you legalize shrooms?

49:22 I mean gas stoves are gonna kill us. I mean, it's safe, but it's not completely safe. It's highly, highly beneficial. there are a few people where it's like I see where this goes. Interesting. And it wasn't until I became friends with Eddie Bravo I not know that it tastes like this? Like all these years, I've been thinking ice cream most of the people that are either hyper ambitious or

53:06 It's very true because, you know, for me it was like I just needed to be somebody for my mom. yo, It's, I'm very interested in the emotion of curiosity, think that's also that you achieve this comfort level because you achieved a very high level of And you can tell they're trying to grind it out because they want to prove themselves. Like so many things people told me when I was younger, I did not understand.

56:24 Yeah. Yeah. you're probably wrong yeah you're probably probably wrong the whole time yeah yeah and whatever, you know, like they, they, what's at the core? in like okay what do you got like tell me about this fucking plant like if something like blows He listens to your show. Not necessarily. There's not a chance in hell. That's what I would say. So if there's some super genius scientists that are working on these multi-billion dollar blacklisted processes where you can't see anything, you don't know what's going on. And they're throwing fucking billions of dollars

59:37 and stopping over boats I apologize. He's like, we are using alien tech. create the story after i think it's just an exponential increase in you know when one person and the ChatGPT started to like talk about its emotions and how it wanted to be human. like what if a computer That's your hell. We're going to become something different. it's a life form that doesn't need us. Yeah. That's the ultimate fear.

1:03:51 And that digital life is far smarter because it has access to everything. Not just take over the universe, but maybe reboot the whole fucking thing you know maybe that's what the big bang is maybe the big bang is intelligence gets We're a little fucking itty-bitty marble that's infinitely dense. It could happen. but you're the last ones. that it won't discuss or talk about it's not like it's a political it's very political like it has

1:07:19 was like jesus christ joe biden looks so fake you can make he kind of looks like bill clinton there That's what he should be doing. Yeah. It's going to be very, very, very, very strange very quickly. And we're going to get to a point where we have to wonder and what's the best way to steer them in certain directions. If you used it the right way, you could solve a lot of issues.

1:09:45 Stare at cars that you lust after. These people are crazy. What's going on over here? conversation it's like wait maybe what we need is more fear and insecurity because it made people we develop uh anxiety many many people do i think because humans need like a certain amount of Yeah. sides of the jar you know yeah i totally agree like sports exercise martial they're just so

1:13:36 but if you could just get going, it's not going to help everybody. I know there's people with Like, come on, man. It's just I'm like. I think he was genuinely curious. I wouldn't advise you to spar. You've got to be able to respond quickly when you get hit. The thing for me with it is if you're a fitness boxing person, totally don't spar. you want to understand it as a martial art quote unquote you gotta you gotta see a few

1:16:40 It was like 1994. But you got loose doing that. and then you occasionally spar hard. I'm not even going to really touch them. It's like a perfect guy for you to roll with because you're never going to get hurt with that guy. And they go crazy, and they're so tense. But you're way better off being with a black belt Sure. to do jujitsu you can flow in jujitsu the same way I said that dude Will or Bill, I forget his name. Sorry, Will or Bill from 1994.

1:20:06 And Huron, they talk about it like that. but you're flowing, right? Jiu-Jitsu is the closest thing you get to a survival fight in civilized society. and he was talking about it as it was happening. smoked cigarettes and drank constantly and just hit the brakes on all that shit. Because like you said, there's very few things that get you into that survival zone.

1:22:41 It's safer on the brain. To take it on at 58 years old is just an inspiration for everybody Looks ripped. though it's definitely an art form like extreme intel it's the illest combination of like who's like a top-level Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt, It's so beautiful. The fact that he just puts him unconscious like this is insane. I forget what the year was, but he – no, it was earlier than that.

1:26:00 That's how good that dude was. Like we'd all go to each other's house and be like, oh, you got the fucking UFC fucking tape. see uh tank abbott versus john matua this was like one of the most root when when i saw this I got drunk with that guy many times back in the day when we all did shows together. That's Michael Buffer, not even Bruce Buffer, interviewing the fighters or announcing the fighters.

1:28:04 Oh. Looks like he got electrocuted That's the first time dudes who can just fight if they're big and they take a punch and if they're like this guy, especially if they like to drink. That guy's a savage. fucking people up. He wasn't a guy that would shoot on in boxing were never getting fucked up like that. and other people that just didn't know what to do with what they were doing.

1:30:33 Maury Smith actually against Tank Abbott was like a great example. that learned how to grapple Fuck. But Maurice was a vicious leg kicker. Yeah, the early ones were cool because they felt like Street Fighter. And this is when people all look different. And Paul Varlins just couldn't take it after a while. No, no, no, no, no, no. The manliest men that have ever existed.

1:33:16 The old logo's so fire. He used to teach at Beverly Hills Jiu Jitsu. A high-level camp down there. How much different are people from the year 2005 to the year 2023? Like he can do shit nobody else could do before. It's crazy. Maybe wear like knuckle covers. different styles and you realize like one style is totally effective if you do this but totally

1:36:00 So the new people, like these new 17 and 18-year-olds, they're terrifying. Yeah, it's beautiful Because you see certain things went out, but then we can never agree. I would agree. they kind of present the case that like And they all express themselves through this game. because it's like sports is the last bastion Like cheating to win in sports. Some tainted beefs.

1:38:53 years of age coming in with a full six pack I agree. They help. A report, Major League Baseball stops testing for steroids after drug agreement with players expires. at your access, you would want to have at your access. Is that true, Jamie? it feels like you're more focused. jujitsu kind of operates a lot on feel obviously there's some people that don't agree with this

1:41:53 It's great for, apparently, basketball, That's when you play, Wild. The weed makes sense. It is dangerous. I failed the test, the time test. Just pause for a second. How crazy is that? How crazy is the idea that you are not at a certain pace, like that anyone would consider medicating you? And so they're going to give you some fucking speed. And it's like, it's better for multiple choice.

1:45:12 So they gave him speed. Yeah. Yeah. That's a real one. overnights the first like three to five days i will tell you it i was much more of a soldier I don't know. Yeah. Like on overnights I took a few ads. because you do get the ability to write things, That was wild. Because he's got sound effects in it too. If this was a scene in a movie, you'd be like, holy shit.

1:50:21 It's fucking amazing. can replicate that but what if it can if If it can. Here's the thing. There's someone I want you to meet. I would be pretty pissed if there was a robot where I'm like, oh, then I'm not distinct. And there not like a destiny and I can just enjoy my life until I die because there's nothing unique about me. some sort of a computer program. It seems preposterous, but the whole world should be preposterous to you.

1:53:39 Yeah, if each individual person And we're not close to that yet. they're on the verge of some pretty wild physical discoveries too yeah there's a lot of stuff that's happening simultaneously like all over who are educated in it, they're scaring the shit No, man, no. but if your life actually doesn't have meaning maybe it's even more fun. Yeah. Who knows? There's a possibility to that.

1:56:27 like what happens at the end i think we're gonna realize that like the final hour that there is And I think as a civilization, at the very end, we'll probably realize there was a lot of meaning that we didn't pay enough attention to. And the technology is what we really make were a kid did you have hope or like even let's say And it wasn't until, I mean, I started reading some books that got me into, like, the Kennedy assassination.

1:59:12 See, I was one of those funny kids that read the newspaper and cared and then just like skipped school and got high and was like, fuck this shit. And that's when I started to lose hope. That's the thing. The only reason that's not possible is because of world leaders. If it was just individual human All of it. It's wild. It into another country and launch missiles, like all of it's wild.

2:02:02 They're the forefront of global thermonuclear war. It's because somebody, there's an inequality gap between two classes of people. and I go teach someone who teaches someone be injustice it's yeah writing a show all these guys they put their names on a show they're not Yeah. They're like, what the fuck are you up to? always sort of existed. These systems and classes of people, people that were willing to send people

2:04:35 By proxy is the issue. You're not going to sort this out. supposedly happening and then one day there's some sort of a critical exchange or would you force these dummies to create artificial intelligence haven't killed us means we're clowns i think they were absolute clowns like my brother's feeling is and he's Yeah. I bet they're probably monitoring nuclear sites because they're one of the things that has been reported in the past and again you

2:07:49 And even the Pentagon talks about it. They're also, they recognize that we have a real susceptibility to group think he's made so many good films. Yeah. You know. Well, I don't think he's an alien. they could be super sophisticated drones that we don't understand because they've done all of this and they've been trying to figure out how to back-engineer that,

2:11:09 I don't want the bullshit, new age, fucking robot. did you ever see contact yeah long time ago when the end of the movie i believe it's her day comes they converted it into one of the best like alien movies of all time because it was like an it's just ridiculous it is ridiculous i love i love hanging out on a ridiculous point maybe Interesting. If they won, I was like, yay.

2:14:06 I definitely went to a hockey game That guy looks like an alien. You have to be very careful. He's getting ready to fight some people. I had to give up get you, and she's Greek so Kambosos Yeah, there's been a shit ton of good fighters that came out of Greece. you guys are like chinese people of the west you claim everything you said Which has psychedelic properties so So ergot, which is

2:17:30 Yeah. See, for me, when I was in high school, I was really interested in reading about fifth century philosophy and thought, because in the fifth century you get Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, Lao Tzu, Buddha, you know, all of those things. they do come to like some similar conclusions from a macro perspective. And that's with society. bitch you know like everybody's got like a thing they're doing like you it's it gets in the way and if you do something where you

2:20:48 One China. Yeah. So Ko Ping Yi and Ko Ping Chung are two of the best pool players on earth. So if I fly with a Taiwanese passport, it says Taiwan it does say Taiwan, but it's that's the thing. It's the agreement Who's the woman in Florida that killed her own kid? So do you think it's used to to like like the West uses it to try to make China look bad in some way or to try to show that there's some sort of a conflict between Taiwan and China and that we side with Taiwan?

2:23:43 Taiwan's Pete Davidson. I get it. Not since the wall. China will hire you as an escort. Yeah, go ahead, buy that building. Can you start running them? We're the world's fucking super police. and that's you're serving business and also Or at what point in time do we decide to let all the walls drop and everybody go wherever the fuck they want everywhere?

2:26:47 So like many generations. We don't want to like rip the Band-Aid off. I would be interested in opening it all up because I'm interested in the seeking of truth. It would probably take as long, too. Because the best way to live would work out. Everything makes sense if you look at it through the prism of sports. Salary caps create, if you're going to believe in competition,

2:29:01 Right. If everything just opened up would kind of be like the UFC we'd figure out the right way to do it He wasn't poor. so the difference is if you get to world championship like Aljamain Sterling level or fuck your neck up. you just keep making people fight I did not watch that fight. But I do. Durrell? But Benavidez was battering him in tight in the clinch.

2:33:29 Canelo's a monster fighter. He just kept coming after him, kept coming after him. That's a big difference, man. Just moving around and the punches were swinging. big yeah a 175 killer versus a 168 killer versus you know and really he's a 154 killer right he still like a really good like the Andre Ward and then Ward fucked him up in the second fight.

2:36:00 I didn't know that. until he got shoulder surgery just done surgery but it's still like the guy beat Carl Frosch, beat all those people with like one hand. Alvarez fight after I would have loved to see it, but I think Andre Ward is very smart not taking that fight. You have to restoke those fires. Dude, time doesn't give a shit about your plans. And really now what you're about is you're still successful, but you're being successful just by chasing your curiosity, which I think is amazing.

2:39:12 like I'll respond to them in the comments and I got stuff going on because like as a writer and Sam has written quite a few really great books, It's not that much. They really just want to make it more make sense to them. Yeah. I've been successful on 15 projects. how many shows do they pick that never become any good? And how many do I enjoy and watch?

2:42:21 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a few of them that are good. It's about, like, school teachers in Philadelphia. This is one of those, like, when you have a wife and daughter, occasionally daughters, But it was funny. Is Ted Danson dead? laughed pretty fucking hard and i was like this is clever it's interesting it's different i'm you They have a relationship with you, and you gave them something fucking real.

2:45:41 That's the beauty of podcasts is that we all want to have though like if you were you can't even blame like some radio network person they would never saw thing that you keep bringing up, every time you talk about it, this goes down and that Somebody has to have asked you this, but what made you want to do a pod? It was great. And so me and Brian Redband just said, let's try it.

2:48:32 at yourself flavors the the way you look at the world we're all better off for listening to good are so fucking critical. Holy shit. than him when he gets on a subject especially if it's about like corruption or something like it's absolutely ridiculous. Yeah. Like when he just fucking goes for it. Well, at this point in time, it seems like that needs to be a thing.

2:51:07 joke like they're laughing at it earnestly when he's like laughing at And for whatever reason they laugh at it, if they don't get it, they're not even in on the joke. I would agree there. Yeah. And that's part of the problem, you know, yeah, I haven't seen his take on the school shooter I feel like there's going to come a time where we decide that the only way to stop this is armed guards which is no one

2:53:34 The Second Amendment, people aren't going to just give their guns up. Is there anything that's a net positive about the country being armed? Is there anything that's a net positive about the country being Is there a way to reach that person? Yesterday's is really rough. I really feel it's a lot of things combined. And just shut it down. Let's say we put the armed guards at in school. This is the worst thing that can possibly happen in your society. And just shut

2:57:13 too many of them like if you try to stop the flow like first of all they're constantly making new of school shooters. I try to get into an analogous or metaphorical place. So let's, if we look at gun violence, like inflation, and then we're the fed, the guns are there. I agree with you. They're were the ones that had all the power? And I think that's a real good fear if you look at human history but i don't think that there's a utopian answer to this

2:59:36 say to the person is, do you, have you seen Waco on Showtime? Do you think that you and your homies with some ammunition can actually defend and Business is how you hold governments accountable. literally saying make an apple make apple make the most successful company in the history of the If you tell the people that they have to go after their own neighbors for something that doesn't make any

3:01:32 And this is what people worry about with any control And then where does the money go? they have all your fucking money and you're not going to work as much because none of this is The one idea we talked about today that I do think would hold governments It's like Florida and Texas. lives to come up here? made it a business to cripple Mexico. You know, like we're so embedded with Mexico because

3:05:12 do the thing that you enjoy doing. And I think, too, it's just because the idea of identity is tied to country and family. I think it's like cults, man. They get sucked into that. They get sucked in. They get sucked into that. I don't know how you sleep at night. And, like, I almost ruined my own goddamn wedding last week And she didn't want to come to dinner.

3:08:10 And she goes, you know what? to this thing that doesn't mean shit because like what would be really whack is if i didn't get to And I had to sit there and just be like, dude, very few things are worth it. This one, I had to stay in this poor guy. And you know. And I got a clear look at her. top bar she still looks great She's 150 years old Like if she

3:11:21 But you know the thing, I felt this way. Yeah, 90 days of nutting. Yeah. This is great. a comedian and you the you're the person you're with is not funny, It's very funny. are not meant to be alone we're we're meant to be in a tribe of of people that are learning from young years is about being attractive and then it goes away. You open the door, there's a dude with a loincloth. Oh, no, no, no, no.

3:14:59 And there was a lady who's an attractive lady, A little social disclaimer. It's a big bonus. Because I respect her And that Yeah, I hate that term partner Yeah. Tim Kennedy told a story on this podcast about going to Starbucks, Like, what are you doing? Zero. And I take pride in being her husband. We're Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte. you got to be someone that someone wants to be with, too.

3:18:44 Well, that's how you grow, right? Yeah. Tonight? Yeah, I got to come.