Joe Rogan Experience #1971 — Howie Mandel Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! Good to see you, my friend. No, yeah, we're starting. up on a lark. Mike Binder got me up there on a lark. I wasn't not pursuing it. I had gone on at I was a fan of comedy. And then when Carson made his way out to California, 55. I don't know what the fuck it is. I don't know that I, but anyway, are you a comic? there was a shift.

3:26 They came and they touched you, you know, did that. I've never met somebody that, you know, Mitzi was the last person that kind of, Mitzi She helped me in so many ways. thing about Mitzi, if you don't know Sugar Shane Mosley, the boxer, his ex-wife took one The whole crowd cheers. Right? and that's what made it big. There was a select few when I was young.

6:31 I was already on news radio. It was like six episodes on Fox. That's where Kinnison came from. Holy shit. It was like Bodak's were on stage. and Billy Crystal and Robin who was on fire cause he just started Mork and Mindy. And then he almost died. And then that became like a joke. walks in, the crowd goes fucking nuts for him, you know, and he turns around and he starts doing,

9:50 And then he leans down And I can't remember because I don't remember the order. fuck and he's screaming and he's got tears coming down his eyes that the the room is just sitting he would talk about life. But Richard Pryor's life, you know, he was raised in a brothel with no money, had horrible, you know, issues with relationships and drugs. If you look at old YouTube videos of me when I when I first peaked and I went on stage on a dare, you know, and the dare was I didn't want to be a comic.

12:58 all right. Okay. All right. Oh, okay. All right. And then they start laughing at me panicking and And I just started breathing. And Mark Breslin, did you ever work at Yuck Yucks in Toronto? Wow. But even in his later years, he just started talking about his philosophies, which I actually loved even more, you know, but that's who I kind of look up to. Well, the beautiful thing is there's no one way to do it. You know, there's so many

15:07 I'm like, oh, my God. And it was a lot of that. Just dying laughing. With two of us in my car. I think most people don't have a sense of humor. The humor for me is I was drowning in public, you know, and I have. But it's I feel more lucky than skilled And you could even talk about how I'm putting together an act. Jim Brewer's going to be there. I would love to come by.

18:25 No, it's carved. artist that used to cut things like ice sculptures and stuff with chainsaws and then he eventually started doing these tables that are these 3d tables with You know, there's there's even moves called the anaconda that people use in jujitsu Right. He does skulls. of a place that you have taken over. That way nobody gets mad at the house.

20:34 And she's okay with that. calabasas california on your way to a father-daughter dance oh yeah at round meadow or something or yes There's the, ah! The biggest joy for me, for my children, is to find that they have a sense of humor. me through life, is just It's not Spencer Gifts. Because you're a Boston kid, right? Then I moved to New York for a little while.

22:42 He loves you. And so I called up Oliver, who was the manager of the club, and I said, hey, man, can I get like a 10-minute spot tonight? No idea what it was. like middling for local acts at shitty bars You had to work clean. you would never get far in the He just didn't understand that I didn't think that way. Right. He was so ridiculous, but he was really funny like really eccentric and my manager sees this he goes listen i'm gonna get you out of

25:29 Well, there was no pathway. Everybody wanted to be Brett Butler and Roseanne and Seinfeld. Yeah, but I had that path too Yeah, you didn't do a half hour. on it. I saw Sandler on it. You remember? Did you I started at the Comedy Store in 94. Oh, I did. Well, the guy that was doing the casting didn't like me. at the time they had done I said, And I went, you know, I didn't get it, whatever it is, but it was the shittiest sitcom.

29:19 same scene again and they said we'll see you monday thinking that oh i'm getting a call back Mark Harmon. gentleman to the left of Denzel? Whoa. Whoa. you you like get tense like whenever he's dealing with something like oh shit there's some guys that You believed whatever the fuck he was selling in spite of the fact you knew who he was. people, it may not be good for you and I don't want people to take. Well, that's very admirable

32:44 I always feel that way. I'll tell you why. I'm distracted. just in the moment, because you have to be. That's heavy. thought out of your head, no matter how dark it is, or you can't get a ritual out of your head than meditation? Have you tried, other than medication, have you tried meditation? So the medication is, for my, my lifeline. breathing there's some people who practice I have never experienced this

36:40 that teaches Kundalini yoga. Well, if anybody's listening to this and you're, I'll read the comments if you have any recommendations. I just, I don't even listen to music. Yeah, it is a medication. It was the one place where unlike, you know, acting, stand-up comedy and stand-up comedy in LA was always at least flavored by No, that's what I'm saying.

39:22 He goes, I fucking love it. And now I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. that we're doing at the Creek in the Cave and the Vulcan So they're all stand-ups. voss is on stage you walk in there shane gillis is on stage bill burr dropped into the amateur He knows a lot about austin history so in the green room all the posters around the You've got to be proud.

41:59 But yeah, if you want to stay on America's Got Talent, you can't get too crazy Deal or No Deal. I had a great time You should do it. That's my sense of humor. You should do it yeah that's that's right you should do it that's my sense of But I think that raunchy... If two guys walk into a bar, it's not a ridiculous has to be the result. And sometimes

44:05 Yeah. and I went to see it. A lot of comics are now. A lot. It's I'm a huge fan of what you're doing. So then I can do my... No, on this. was... It's for everything. hold a pen with my sleeve it's a it was an ipad i had to touch you with the finger yeah so it's the death of humans, rather, and he called Elon a speciesist? They could figure out complex math.

47:31 I don't know. feel about your uh it was you right your your ai well there's a bunch of AIs of me now doing fake commercials. It's insane. just couldn't figure out how to cash in on this thing well it's also they're terrified of it is that And at least that the whole goal of Google is what's called AGI, I found them talking about that text. interesting, I'm not I in fact my wife got mad at me because I I

50:30 I found it, Jamie. What if that's why our cities are falling apart? What I'm saying is, what if that is the reason why all this is happening? does anything. And then people stop having all the money from the rich people that you subjugate and give that money to people, print it, do whatever the fuck you want, and then get people one wants to leave it and why would you want to why would you want to have a kid

53:39 that are so beyond what's available in the real world. But I came in, I said I wanted to be distracted, to cohabitate with hopefully that would be nice i think maybe it'll help us get our shit together completely change how people get answers to ideas and jobs that are necessary that will not be necessary anymore. be absolutely fascinated with orcas, and we'd be outraged that they're at SeaWorld. Because these

56:39 water, who's nowhere, what access does he have? Not onlyually, the digital universe is bringing the world to everybody. There's so many opportunities to go to places You can go see it on, go on Instagram and look at Proto Hologram. Remember when they did that on CNN? in your club, that we enjoy actual physical experiences you do you don't enjoy them. Not so much. So you would be very happy

58:54 for each of his baby mama's houses And you can see in real time your audience, the person you're visiting. Yeah, where he is? But all this technology, to answer your question, So I can do a world tour without getting on a plane. will feel like he's in the room with them talking to them. It's a great idea. It is a great idea, Like a part of me is like, my God, we're so addicted to these things.

1:01:30 I like talking to people. I like talking to people, man. from this little piece of technology The issue that I have is can I maintain ownership of it? Right. that i love is and listen to this artist or listen to this podcast. What I love more than anything is that you can ask your phone while you're driving. You We this is gonna be wild right? It's it's just a recognition of what I think is the inevitable.

1:04:31 Code should be like we learned cursive. jobs there's gonna be a giant percentage of our population that just no longer is then now we have no I'm still drinking this Laird it's really good it's good Right. usually close friends and I was at his house in Palo Alto and I would talk to that yes he's made many public statements over the years that the whole

1:07:53 It can't just be health leather. Let's just go barreling forward and hope for the What are you? But these are the people that are in control of this thing. you know, everything, everything can have a really dark, bad side and we can't control it. I don't see it as... You know, everything, everything can have a really I saw this. One AI This is on CBS.

1:10:59 There is an aspect of this which we call, all of us in the field, Was it from that black box we wondered that... humanity I'm really that maybe for whatever reason, let's trust that it is a benefit Just by virtue of what it is. It's scared like, I realize where this is going. Okay. filming this thing happening right but that's not scary that That's nature. That's nature. I think this is nature too.

1:15:07 you're going to pick that because that's better. It's a better way of existing. You're going to You know, we remember when answering machines were crazy. I can educate myself. I can be productive. I can learn. I can post. I can do everything from this little I have to force myself to take the positive and just try to, you know, spend I still love laughing.

1:17:57 But also you can't hold it in with a laugh. they leave they leave well that's why I said you know on AGT there's a lot of Millions are watching, and it's so subjective. and that's how comics used to perform way back in the day. If somebody practiced juggling and they're lighting fires, you're seeing all that juggling and lighting fires. you applaud and you go, yay, or you stand up.

1:21:02 That fear to me, comedy is like I still love thrill rides And there is nothing more dangerous for me than stand-up as far as all the other stuff that I have chosen to do. Oh, no. Everybody's scared. Yeah. that. You know, I, um, Scott, uh, Carrot Top. Carrot Top is, should be lauded, should be celebrated. I love that guy. Me too. But you know, and I was there, I was the butt of jokes when I

1:23:37 Very funny. Right. He became the butt of jokes. It's so known that he's the prop guy. there's always more people that don't care and don't get it. piling out of the first show and seven thousand people are coming into the next show and there's thanksgiving table is the one that's laughing at you that's what you're just lucky that your I had no pre-preparation.

1:26:35 and listening to that drum beat of the audience, Right. He had already had them written out happened with him. He was very impressed. and he said, I'm a fraud. I was such a big fan. So you probably saw him just a few years. He was just sitting on an armchair and it was like he would ramble and ramble and ramble and ramble and ramble for like 15 minutes before there was a laugh.

1:28:51 You can't work out in arenas like how you gonna write new jokes in front of 16,000 people Malcolm Gladwell. and everybody was like, You know, people are getting hits off TikTok. in a vacuum. for what these songs are. It's like it's exciting. Sure. That would be like learning jujitsu with no drills. No, no. He did a tournament in like master's class or whatever it was.

1:31:26 And he's probably been like nonstop training. You just got to, when you're someone like me in particular, I get obsessed with things. Do you still enjoy doing this? How could you not enjoy talking to cool people? You know, I started doing it because with my mental illness, Let's call him. I didn't even have advertisers. it off and he drove it to my house and he was listening to this uh am political talk show and

1:34:00 Why is this so fucking entertaining? I've never been outside of this. That's the world. So it makes you reconsider your own ideas. You just look at the stock trades these people are allowed to do. And not just that, it's infiltrated our influence. people are using these bot farms to like have arguments like I've seen that before an era where if you read it then it must be true you know back in the newspaper days yeah but that

1:36:32 But that's what's happening now. There was a thing the other day that was talking about Like what that's not your job. Your job is you're a journalist Because I don't want to know how you vote. makes this one different than that one? Well, he or she. These are my people. That's exactly right. Here, I'll send this to you, Jamie. But we are concerned about the trouble that China is responsible for

1:39:52 This is fucking scary. Yes. I need to get out of my comfort space, but we don't. Whatever it is, it's changing all the time, and whatever the future is, is really, it's a gamble and a guess. And to be in the moment, man, you have to do a lot of work. I can't handle that. is so valuable. There's so many people that have a very hard time That's it. that I use in comedy, but it is in life. Yeah, in life just do your best i'm doing it yeah that's what everybody

1:43:54 It's a new James Fox documentary with and one of them was this tiny little thing that this guy carried and he carried it to wherever they were going to examine it. His body didn't know what the fuck to do with this alien thing that he was interacting with. And there's like you gotta tune in to what to listen to that episode unless it happens to you how the fuck

1:45:55 Like, you can only relate. than believing that we are just this little dot I'm like, cut the fuck out of here, Howard. and you were just explaining it to me, I saw, and I was with my wife, and it was right there. And as I got closer and closer, that whole line of lights, quicker than I can fathom, but we called the airport. lined up, you know, on, on a road. We were in a, there was no street lights or anything. It was

1:48:49 but I do know if you called my wife right now, she would describe the exact same thing. commercial uh commercial pilots did you see the most recent one there was a woman who was a model who was on a plane and we just brush that off, you know? Oh, here it is. Watch this. So play this. See that thing I mean, I don't know what you're getting there You get like weird lines that might not.

1:51:50 So if that was stationary, now let's imagine the propeller plane is going against the wind. slow. It's probably not fast at all. And it might just like that. It's probably very slow. But here's the thing. If it's going the opposite, if it's going – if actually the plane is going with the wind and this thing is going against the wind, then it gets weird.

1:53:14 For me, it was just lights at night and they moved. It did. her about midnight and it It's one of the very first UFO abduction stories. about experiments being done on them and then being put back in their car and having their Well, don't you think there's more people that accept it now? He thinks the side of the believer, there's a vast amount of data that seems to indicate that there's some things out there that we really don't understand.

1:56:04 That's a common theme I mean that's one of the reasons why people want to stop even like Well, there's some really convincing documentaries online if you don't know astrophysics and you don't have access to scientists that can debunk each and every claim every step of the way of all these different things. every space dish, every telescope, space telescope,

1:57:23 We know so much about- And the size of them, apparently he's having fun well it's just it's interesting because the mystery itself of the universe is so fucking vast. Now, imagine someone who went to school for what you go to school for, you know, whether it's audio engineering or coding. fucking lenses on them so we can see deep Hey, man. that explain the whole thing.

2:00:23 they go, They're very half baked and most of them aren't thought out that well. You are, with the access the internet provides. But it was extremely expensive. I remember he was telling me how much his download bills were There's a lot of people that are already doing it. People just hop aboard. whatever it is we're interested in at the moment. That's awesome. That's all that's important is if

2:03:28 make money off of this and he walked away from it he did but he's he's doing one again now right It was just so wild that people didn't know what the fuck to do with it. is this yeah this makes meanwhile you're crying laughing when he says it. He's so funny and he's another one. If you wrote his act down, you'd be like, what is this? Oh. me, Toronto did well with Yuck Yucks.

2:05:08 Yeah. And now it's the Wilbur. road gigs too so we're partners now he's a good guy But that's one of the cool things about this business, too. It's wild, right? I've been in this business for almost 50 years. was so it's so and I'm never do you believe in fortune cookies other than It'll change into another Well, the real people that believe in simulation don't think it is real.

2:08:18 It's all possible. the folklore of UFOs is that they started coming after the bombs in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The Bible about Gita. A lot of people think it. I mean, they might not exist. Did we, like, I saw a podcast of you where it wasn't you, but I thought it was you. Could be. video. it was always fun just to go into the porn section of blockbuster i like to watch blockbuster didn't

2:10:53 Yes, you looked. I didn't want to touch the beads. Oh, so like, yeah, like when you tour and the videos that you could rent in the movie, in the room. Check. Do you know the Marriott is like the place where most people are getting it? They're great. Talk about the spin cycle. I've never seen it in a dryer. Yeah, the stepson is there from college. She's stuck.

2:13:33 out into the wild. But some of those people that he knows, they've been taken, deep faked their company. Right. But what I'm saying is when you try to go after that company, you go down a maze. I think it's super sophisticated. We'll talk about it off the air. because you're dealing with people that are scammers that are just always trying to find there's this one scammer that used this girl's voice to call her mom and tell her mom that she

2:15:42 they tracked it down figured out what happened and there's a bunch of scammers Well, it does it instantaneously. I mean, the growth time is fucking nuts. It made up three people's names. That person does not work there. Yeah. Yes. It's like, it's going to be programmed Yeah, we got this. in the world in terms of environmental damage, fuck you. Fuck you, creepies. It's like you're not the same person you were at the beginning

2:19:14 But I bet my kids were worried about me. we were kids we didn't have to adapt to this it didn't exist now they do they have to adapt to bodies. They don't really look like that. They look way better. And it's very hard when these Everybody's caught up in this weird thing of wanting validation. And that's it. You're a good man. has a difference of opinion if they

2:22:25 film his comedy special perhaps or a hologram you will onto Howie Mandel bye Thank you.