Joe Rogan Experience #2014 — Jim Gaffigan Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. bread and pasta and stuff like that a lot of people get really inflamed eating that and it there's environmental factors there's lifestyle factors like what you're eating like how much Unfortunately, some of it is genetic. all recessive genes blonde hair blue eyes white people really white people deal with the sun i don't know day before sunscreen well i think i think some of it is uh you know if they're in

3:02 And then they're like, let's do this for the rest of our time. It was cheaper to drink wine. I mean, I like Fiji water. really far away. Oh, wow. Martin Reese, yeah. Between the time it gets bottled and how it gets shipped to you, it could be sitting in the sun. Even water. Well, I remember I watched this thing about, I don't know, all the plastic that's in the ocean

5:53 I don't know. They're not interested. They're not interested. put into landfills, or they get shipped to other countries, and the other countries wind up And they're like, oh, here's a new fake sugar. Yeah, it's just not good in the form that we have it mostly. This is never, there's nothing in nature that gives you sugar in that form. Coca-Cola, like in the 20s or 30s, used to be something that you would go down to the soda shop and you would get a tiny bottle of Coke and you'd kind of have a tiny – and then just the sizes growing over decades.

8:52 But that is something that is obviously – but I think most – even people that do drink Diet Cokes are like, I know this is bad. And it documents the self-harm and suicide rates of young kids, particularly girls. I had to walk uphill both ways and all that. we're gonna go over there and we're gonna look at it in a field like we did that when because among you know it's there is this kind of the banter of the you know the greatest form

11:54 about it yes for sure It's just inevitable. It'll be great. Yeah. I'm like, you know, when your dad has two vodkas and then he switches. Yeah. I'm jealous. back we get fucked up and the next day i'm like i'm not doing this anymore. This is over. And so how is your drinking? Well, because I own a club. know or anything else it's just no big deal like the next day i feel fine it's not yeah there's

15:53 Like, you take a couple of hits before a show. Like people that have to work with chemicals, like that's fucking horrible. I mean, outside of the obvious thing of financial interests of major corporations corrupting our political system. But like why is there not kind of people saying this is insane? No, let me ask you this. Yeah, go back to doing meth and hanging out with that little floozy in that house that

17:50 But, all right, let me ask you this. Federal prosecutors are dropping campaign finance violation charges against alleged crypto crook Sam Bankman Freed over a legal snafu in his extradition from the Bahamas to the U.S. Let's make this go away. This is like and that these people took it to the far end of this. No, I think that's fun. It's a lot of complicated financial stuff that's outside of my realm of understanding.

22:00 Oh, yeah. And it's one of the reasons why they want to be congressmen in the first place. Her husband is an investment guy, right? And then he gets hit in the head with a hammer. But, yeah. and then you bet on that because I have a 19-year-old daughter can have the rest. And so like, I was the youngest, but like, the point I'm getting to as you get

25:47 comforts you like comforts right you don't want to struggle right you don't want to be scared as And so there used to be all these direct flights from New York that, I mean, there's tons, but there were some live flat things Anyway, I'm just trying to impress everyone with my toughness, my mental grit. A baby can't be uncomfortable for a couple hours.

27:35 childhood and rough and difficult and a lot of problems. It's a complicated world. What are your children getting exposed to on the streets? Yeah, because when they reach certain age where like you can hear them actively Yeah. again, some of them missed graduation from high school. Some, So we're not – and it's decriminalized. Some of them starts, you know, they'll sell it to a kid that's 13.

31:39 up like this kid was going to go to this great college and he got stoned off of a vape pen that was laced with, you know, whatever that stuff that they get from China. It's a tsunami what these kids are seeing. that it's in response to the opium wars yeah Yeah. How so? So, you know, I've performed in China a couple times. expats in that were performing stand-up in China would tell me about is that like, oh, yeah, this fentanyl is all kind of like revenge for that.

34:10 thousands a year more history than most Western countries was essentially the British came in and they drugged them. Well, the Opium War is a historical fact. They bring them over to Mexico. So you don't need a lot of it and you can lace things with fentanyl. So when people are buying like street Xanax or street MDMA, a lot of it is laced. And we lived through the the crack era yeah like crack

36:22 Bert? So why isn't everyone just on it? So, yeah, he does seem like he's... Works out with jeans on. He's buff. Yeah? Or is that just a trend? I was up late last night, hanging out at the club, got home, the alarm clock went off. Three minutes. It's cold shock proteins. There's studies that show that, but it's great for your mental health. It's a fucking struggle, man.

40:01 drug that you could take that gives you the feeling that you get right out of the cold plunge fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck say fuck you know 360 times right take a bunch of breaths It's called a Blue Cube. It sort of feels better. But it is, I mean, some of it is I wanted to be a farmer i you know when i was in eighth Yeah. behavior that you know leads to success and survival.

43:19 It's cool. You're just getting organic vegetables. You would never buy celery. they were all organic, and they were like a fruit. i have material on kale and i've i've grown kale and i'm like, all right, you know, this is better than the, you know, because of course the time I had kale 10 or 15 years ago, it was just bitter. Yeah, they say it's actually, for some vegetables, it's actually better to cook them.

46:21 It kind of gets your whole fucking bowel system moving yeah once a week It's hanging out with these wild Italians eating their fucking incredible food. Yeah. Right? the the people of the sun and all those fruits and peppers and there's a pepper for every benefit to that other than health but the benefit when you're eating delicious food you're having a

49:12 Like, you never hear someone go, you know what, we got to get this Lao Asian food. And it's passed down from generation to generation. Yeah. what is the majority of your diet and the majority of your time is the majority of your time spent It's legendary. every day you know getting up in the morning hours of cardio and weight lifting and all this And so when you consider, so you enjoy being busy, right?

52:39 She's like, why do you why do you why do you need to do that? Maybe I'm not making sense. Right. It is fun. Yeah. Yeah. could do six hours of stand-up a week two shows on You're talking to peers. I'm even reluctant when people are like, you should get this person on. When they feel like they're being pushed. I only did this because they told me to do it.

57:39 and you're doing things you really care about, then it's not work. But it's still enjoyable. It's fun. And if I do that, And then they get out of there, and she's like, Like, you know, fucking Trump, fucking Biden. and different sensibilities that we grow to love that it's not completely foreign to like, people have dramatically different opinions too, and they got to go along to get along.

1:01:07 scary issues. That's a lot of the homeless problem. it that the ufo thing comes up every couple months where they're like there's For sure. it would be front page of every newspaper everyone would be talking about it at work everyone would He's a Nazi. Whatever you do, don't bring up that person with the blue shirt. What he's doing? You either, how do you make a new, you introduce a new conversation piece?

1:05:32 I think the original company that he developed with PayPal was X. you know, I'm going to do this, Feel some power. Yes. I'm like, you know what? But you want problems like, I'm in a difficult occupation. We require things that we have to accomplish and do in order to feel good. Like we've got some, we've made some They have to be focused and really dedicated to it.

1:09:06 It's well, that's also like, you know, the success can kind of cripple people, right? Right you get soft Yeah. but it's also like our perception of it because part of you is like, I brought it with my kids. He gets confused in Senate appropriations hearings and has to be prodded to vote. You look great. I didn't even know 80-year-olds existed. Well, there's better medicine and health now.

1:12:39 I mean, when we were kids, Reagan was president. He would be like lifting weights with RFK Jr. Yeah. Do you see the movie ixnay on the talking Biden. Well, we used to do Joe Biden night at Stitches in Boston in the 80s. act. We would do, we would go up and do our friend's acts. Oh wow. Yeah. It was Joe Biden night. No way. Yeah. See, that one's a weird one.

1:16:45 Yeah. So two other ongoing criminal probes, You're saying that that guy, what's his name? arrested. This guy wasn't. Not only that, they were defending him in the New York Times, the the FBI said, disrupt peaceful protests. It's a common tactic. What they do is, say if there's a, like the World Now they can start arresting people. forget about the Giuliani stuff and whether they thought that it was stolen.

1:20:36 I think that the FBI or the CIA saying, hey, Trump lost this – because here's what you're kind of implying. against trump and you know then i think the the slim likelihood that people were like, oh, Trump's a problem. He did it openly and he did it brazenly. And, you know, JFK had his problem with the intelligence agencies. And he was openly talking about them being incompetent and being corrupt.

1:24:08 This is a threat to our democracy. history whenever people have unchecked power and unchecked influence and they have and they have But like in the end, for me personally, it's like when people complain about Biden's, you know, age or his cognitive decline or whatever. Or during office, when he was vice president. But. It's, you know, it's not the style.

1:28:08 It's the corruption. more guilty of corruption not saying trump i'm not saying that you're saying they're equal i'm bad guys. And I think there's corruption that exists in big business and in government that is on a scale that we probably would get violently ill if we found out the actual numbers and what It's nuts that they put that woman in jail for sex trafficking to no one.

1:29:51 There's no outcry. It's over. Who do you think killed him? And he said the contusions, the ligature marks on his neck were indicative of someone being strangled. the circumstantial evidence like the cameras being off is fucking ridiculous yeah and he was left I think it's the same thing There's fucking pollution in the ocean. And what are the side effects of those?

1:32:59 So Epstein didn't kill himself. change guy and you concentrate on one specific thing and that's all you focus on all the time, That's the big local. It's title 42. Me too. And but I do feel like we almost you and I both have this same suspicion, but like we're coming from two different sides, which is fascinating. And it's dumb. i think he's a product of that i think trump is a businessman who for sure has been involved in

1:37:04 I mean, it's hilarious, dude. A master at it. Like that debate where he brought in Paula Jones and after the, you know, him on the bus for Access Hollywood. There's very few people that have walked this earth that would be able to navigate that situation the way he did. He was just down by 20 points two seconds ago. And so who takes his place? They can't compete with him.

1:39:22 Yeah. You just fucked up. Mike Pence. When they were taking him away from the Capitol, They wanted to attack him. one of the tactics was not certifying the votes. uh certain self-dignity yeah i'm not aware of that i that. I'm not aware of the facts behind that at all. Right? Do you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Yeah. If you have a bad agent, you think your agent's taking money not doing any work. Well, then you got an argument

1:43:29 Very smart. Ramaswamy. It's interesting because we are in this age where there is – he's kind of rising above some of that cultural stuff, right? Yeah. come to some sort of a reasonable conclusion. All right. How is the uh russian ukraine conflict gonna end since we are wow appears on the sidelines of russia africa summer in saint petersburg wow paramilitary

1:46:59 Group. So, like, you know, when I worked on Peter Pan, you know, you get into the pirate thing and the the british navy was the reason they were they ended up with You know, like Carnegie did it. Right? right constantly i mean there's there's can you there's there's this one group that is pretty Yeah. We make all our money. And then it would be the rise of independent news sources and real journalism, which you're seeing more on the internet now than you're seeing in mainstream media.

1:51:50 is independent sources where people are individuals that you can trust because you know they don't lie. for something to be completely objective it's very hard it's almost impossible well one of the Yeah, there was a few of those shows where they'd have like one dorky conservative or one dorky liberal. You'd have to go into the fact that we've been delivering arms to that.

1:54:15 we'll be right back with, And it's like, are carrots bad for you? It's always something like, you're like, I got to find it. that you should take. Here's a new study that shows that obesity can be conquered by this. to be not that great for you. yeah what is so like why given that like we know that juice is like orange juice i like grapefruit Pancakes are there because people like them.

1:55:59 probably eat candy yeah orange juice like a big 16-ounce glass of orange juice. That's so alien. and the fiber and it's it digests more slowly it's more natural it's normal But then right below it, I see 24 grams per 8 ounces. But you would never be that much sugar in a can of SpaghettiOs. That's about what it is. Not bad every now and again. Yeah.

1:58:02 from the wheat yeah but like if you have gluten-free pizza or gluten-free pasta is that better or am i just have the same bread. Because American pasta, what they've done is modified the wheat for higher yield with smaller. that america is kind of you you know. The worst. But we're going to have to pay for medical costs. to only eat things that aren't modified and aren't bad for you and aren't filled with pesticides, eating

2:01:10 But it lasts on the shelf longer. years converted it to a regenerative farm and a natural farm where it's all organic and no buy some ducks and let the ducks in there yes you've got okay you've got uh you've got a wolf an industrialized farm right next to it. And the river runs through both properties. But there is And it's all like this recreation of nature, a natural method.

2:04:03 And then, by the way, genetically modified doesn't necessarily mean bad. They kill weeds. Right. But that brings us back. also the sapiens there was something also about farming that, you know, all right, And then they would have climate issues or issues with crops dying The food pyramid is definitely horseshit. information and now we understand that's probably not the way to do it and the right way to do it

2:06:59 It's crazy. Let's find that out. We think humans have been around for hundreds of thousands of years. the ecosystems in these things where we gobbled up all the fish. Wow. Is that real? of recovery from exploitation. By 2050, there could be more plastic than fish in the world's ocean measured by weight. to filter the plastic out of the water, There's this ocean cleanup thing.

2:10:44 They've employed multiple ones of it now, and they're using them to clean up oceans and rivers, Well, we certainly can. I mean, what about Phoenix? And they'd have a fucking whale park. And there's a few people that concentrate on one issue in particular. cleaning their garage they're listening it's definitely fascinating it's it's fascinating and this and that and poor diet

2:14:26 That's a bad situation. The jump the shark. You ever go back and watch an old television television show today they seem so preposterous go watch leave it to beaver you're like what the Yeah. A movie that realistically explains people in a way that you know to be true. They want to watch Ant-Man. versus what a CEO makes in 2023 extraordinary way. So they're going to be the most driven, the most psychotic about it. And in turn, they're going to generate

2:18:39 And that guy goes fucking ham and funds some fucking Fagazi studies and shows that this product is totally safe and effective. dollars and i think that now the board of directors is like so i get 250 for coming to three meetings I don't know. greatly beneficial to the people that consume it. There's a great exchange. It's a beautiful exchange. Yeah.

2:21:17 Not only that, you're funding studies. wait a minute was that on the rfk episode that well we might have discussed it on that but that's and she shows that from the introduction of petrochemical products, plastics in society, with human populations as well and she's showing through all much humans had. Also, that And it can be like, all right, let me just stuff a bunch of fries in my mouth to numb this.

2:25:13 there's the boomers but like uh and i'm not bagging on the boomers and i'm barely gen x Do you know what I mean? It's like, where's our generation? You know, and there's – it's just we don't have a lot of like shining choices, right? into power and they don't want that kind of change because that change disrupts this business that they're running but is there's part

2:28:43 But like, you know, it's I'm not saying Yeah. No new taxes. Hunter went to see Carter speak, and I remember reading about it that he was just not impressed, not interested in going. Which is like America loves that stuff. it's, and then putting checks and balances in place over medicated and not giving not being given the information that a lot of their medical issues

2:32:31 Yeah. It's not like even one side or the other side. It's like, look. There's emails where they're talking about. Have you seen the photos? And I think people in that lab got sick, and I It doesn't exist right now, the lab leak theory resistance. So like America lived after World War II under this belief system that, hey, we're a country of immigrants.

2:36:20 like you're on the right side of things. If you can come with, even if you don't believe in them, if you can say some facts and some statistics that seem to point to the fact And that was, some of it was, it was to weaponize it or to kind of... because the Imagine if you're one of the guys that was involved in that research and you realize that now.

2:38:18 I don't necessarily understand it, but I'm doing this. You know what I mean? But he was probably like, if you found out that Eisenhower was president, he looks like he's 80. He was 63. yeah, that guy looks like he's seen some shit. He also planned movements in World War II It's like it was – if you look, I don't know if you can – like the invasion where they landed in the Korean War where the North Koreans had taken over and like there was like down here and then they came in in Pusan.

2:40:38 I mean Saving Private Ryan Well, I thought you were about climate change. Anybody who hasn't seen it should see it. I just get depressed. I'm like a woman? Yeah. the men. They play better. Sorry. I watch funny things. Are there commentaries? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think an idiot. He's watching billiards. Yeah, I watch pool and I watch funny things.

2:43:08 And so you consume that. the event if you went to a game but like is is there a certain thing that like what what's Yeah. with dire physical consequences. to be watching golf or you know baseball and is there a certain country that is rising out of mma Because it wasn't the – I think there was a Muslim guy that – A very devout religious guy. Or is it near where they had the Winter Olympics and where the caucus is?

2:46:49 its own? It used to be Hard people. quarter the muslim quarter uh and then there's the armenian quarter like the armenians are yeah you know there's just like open about it i loved it it's because la is so you know for lack And you know, obviously, we have some of it was the timing that netflix wanted to do and then honestly you know prime Anyone who gets a box delivered, they can watch it.

2:50:32 There's so much content. It's really hard. Good to see you, my friend.