Joe Rogan Experience #2019 — Tim Dillon Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! Yeah, well, there was a... I think it didn't affect flights as much as I thought, Yeah. Yeah. when people work on a film, they call them catastrophe crisis crisis actors right right where these people that they're gonna utilize that technology to some degree. I agree, though, that it's creepy and it will eliminate a lot of jobs.

3:05 You might mitigate the effects. job? Great question. You know, Post uses, like, autotune, but he writes all his own songs, you know, and person that has not seen it. I don't get it and I just Yeah, I just. I don't want to be attacked. Right. My life would be easier if I got like, I would be more included. Because it is clearly a movie that's made for girls and everybody else.

6:19 and they're very into it. A few gay men apparently people are upset what they're mad about who lives in that world Right. and the world of Barbie world where the Barbies are the Supreme Court and they all wear bikinis on the Supreme Court. it's how you make money. And that's kind of exhausting, right? Let's start there. Yeah. Like they're engaging in the same sort of behavioral that they accuse liberals doing of these liberal witch hunts.

9:02 Yes, for sure. Yeah. You know, the money would be better used at home. And the best take on it was Trump. Right. And anything that he says, no matter how logical it is, people are going to attack. treaty compromise, right? Most wars have some type of end game where you can go, of who knows how many billions of dollars so far. They all were like very much across the board the idea that we have to support the Ukraine

12:23 Palestinians or, uh, you know, what's drug addiction, all of the money we're sending to the Ukraine probably could be used here. Where was all that money? And then there was this guy, this hot dog warlord, this guy who had sold hot dogs and we've never had a war with him, right? was lobbing people's heads off in the street. And these are like murderers and rapists.

15:14 It seems like the party in power likes war. said that he said it in an interview I think it was with Steve Hilton on Fox If you're going to make the ultimate sacrifice for America, We should treat them with the respect of the things they do should be vital and necessary for our security. And I also might get bored with the job in a week and quit. Winning is great.

18:02 of the chaos. You have to deal with everything involving foreign policy. that did this. And it is a That's probably what it is. to be passed in advance and then buy stock in accordance to what you know. You've got to suck so much. That's got to be a lot of pressure. He's like, he jumped, right? You're competing with other people. Everybody's like, good for you.

20:45 Because they kind of did, right? and she talked about being terrified House of Cards. And that House of Cards, if you rewatch it, I rewatched it. Yeah, super close. in good faith debating each other and being So probably more likely it happens like that now. They would just think you drowned. Any of our friends for the most part not all pretty much everybody for Alex Jones most people we know

23:35 oh, no, no, no, you go, you go use it. The 911 calls because you'll hear satanic sounds oh really I mean. That's my only thing. either the Bush family, Yeah. Whoops. oh yeah i would be so disappointed if we find out that all of them died of natural causes So it's essentially like a rocket And if that doesn't work, what do you do? Do you just say okay?

27:20 But when someone far below you that you could get rid of or, you know, it's like that guy outside of that restaurant in L.A., Austria Mozza and Melrose and Highland, whose car just went into a. And you say to yourself, like, did you piss the wrong person off and he certainly did? allow this to become a thing yeah you know and that's how She made it.

28:59 That's what their version of fat shaming is. This is what they're all saying. And it ain't easy. You know, it's becoming a problem. And then all of a sudden, you know, she's abusing or making them do weird shit. at a certain let's just And I don't mean like, oh, I had a cheesecake. Because the media will be like, not only is she fat, it had to be everybody.

32:07 What was it? could get really fucked up doing it's like asking someone to go into like some crazy cardiovascular These girls have to like dance through the whole thing. Video. of the big girls. I'm always doubting myself, and I feel like that has been detrimental in how I approach dance. Right. at, you know, fully going I brought my car in to get washed and it comes out and you go, meh.

35:20 And, you know, listen, if you have people that are emotionally that have issues, you know, and Lizzo might have to have them as well. coming for her career big time the show itself seems like it would be a health Okay. that can make her, quote, go around the room person by person until believe you. So it's kind of like Third person. That's what I'm saying.

37:56 anywhere else. Like, unfortunately Yes. They could either be encouraged they put this weird story out Maybe lost a little bit in the face. She should have said, hey, I'm an artist. and then I don't even want to be thin. It won't happen again. Like, that's the whole thing. but if you don't know people we can't live in a world When you eat a little something you shouldn't eat, you go, I did the wrong thing.

42:38 I don't get recognized all the time, but somebody recognized you. walking out of Amy's Ice Cream with Sam Talent, because it's a fucking where you go, Yeah, and that's where we are. Because it was designed, anything designed by white You can try to improve them, but the local stuff's important. and trust that your kids are going to get Well, you also have to think that those adults are with your children more than you are during

45:24 Right. So they could not agree with the parents and tell the kids that the parents are wrong and whatever it is, that someone would get into your kid's head and have some very questionable and debatable ideas right. uh, She was going through a divorce. the subject it was health it's like a fake class anyway kind of and this bitch would just get up And I think she ended up getting fired.

47:41 I think that my grandmother was a teacher. where I think they banned the book in Florida religious groups. It gets a little Anybody going like boys in this line girls in this line and this line is for my special people like yeah out Yeah, I'm trying to... What is wrong with gay penguins? That's crazy. It's not fair. You'll know. responsibility. Except Ben Shapiro

50:44 trans people that like have detransitioned. Like, She was Kristen. there is some very strange See, it's so weird or the all-gay comedy show. amplified into the real world that's what it is and the the thing about your dad wanted you to be a doctor too. and the most interesting and the most adventurous parts of life and the most interesting and the most

53:13 And now it's like people are like, oh, I just want to be around people like myself all the time. Also. People that have to reverse themselves all the time really i have to But they each went to mass every day. Wow. They were very religious. We have deeply religious. that guy makes it home, that guy doesn't. Like if there was some omniscient being rewarding the good and punishing the bad yeah phenomenal i think there's a lot of that but maybe there's a third way which

57:08 Because if that's like this idea of the soul, Yeah, the reincarnation idea. you know, performing bars in Western Massachusetts. Oh, past life regression. This guy did it all through hypnotic regression, but there were some people that felt like he had made they know they can do that with people they can give people false memories and so these people

59:45 And then, like, after a few martinis, she started talking about her past life and Shirley She went to the grocery store. She was like, I was Napoleon. And they would sit there and then Shirley MacLaine would be like, and you were a, you know, you were the Queen of England. There's like a crystal truck on the side of the road. Yeah. What is that? What is that?

1:01:16 Are you okay? I had to move to Marina and it's, you know, it's like, okay. like designing like stuff that like the cia is using so it's kind of wild to me the way that Sort of spiritualize their existence. and just by virtue of connecting yourself to the experience and having a few of those experiences, I got into all that stuff, but I'm a witch. Those are the guys at Chipotle chopping chicken.

1:03:50 it's never like a good person amazing things get co-opted all the time yeah by uh people's And I think that slot could be Islam. because he goes i like things like he he does this advert to speech he did at the cleo these make you happy love makes you happy communities Because that is a group of person too, where they're almost spiritually connected to inanimate

1:06:13 I think he's, you know, I'm not familiar with all of his comedy shows. He goes, and I know that because It was my just favorite thing work when i get it home i want it now because i want the thing on the commercial i want it and To everything. with regard to advertising. Now, my cousin's two kids have never had mcdonald's Bud-wise-er. They were doing it and you're like, where was it?

1:09:11 And my father, yeah, here it is. Nobody's ever worked in a company. We're going to be a little edgy. And they fought back. You know? those pink salmon shorts It's not the best beer. I'm not a beer drinker. I It's a shitty beer. It's not the best beer. It's okay when it's cold. we're going to now do the Dylan Mulvaney thing. Right. So I never thought that, like, I can't believe it's not butter had to have my political view.

1:12:32 better than butter. where we're like, they care about us. My dad used that as like, trusted corporate america and the government enough to go well if it was bad the government They go, okay, how about fast casual? So to me, I've never been like, Then Dylan Mulvaney clearly wantedate wanted to be, right? And then you get there and there's all these unintended consequences, right? Then Dylan Mulvaney clearly

1:14:59 How wild is that? They say we had It's the least fun way to be president. is that recent? we're going to see if he's going to run And I don't, you know, so. he stood by his son. Number one, My dad sells wine. Whose coke is it? payments to the Bidens from Russia, Kazakhstan There's no way that they looked at him and what he should be the president unless

1:18:12 Like, he's a guy. in the system for a long time. harris to step down because she's rightfully if he steps down you know until some kamala harris But again, Washington inside, they're just like, you were a DA. What they should have done, if they wanted to win, George Soros should have backed up the money truck to Michelle Obama and said listen I can't believe you went there

1:20:16 It is weird that there's not Maybe it's not weird. For sure. You fucked a ruling class, you drown a pond. I think it makes our country fun. Put it out. Democratic National Convention, the Maybe it's a bad idea. Yeah, not that state. It's not a great idea. But I bet you run for governor of California. I don't think you can anymore. Maybe it's a bad idea.

1:22:15 Decide to become the governor of Wyoming. The fuck is so crazy? That's a crazy enclave of rich people. I want to know. It's too much. it would have killed her. to be in. You do feel weirdly was standing in the water near Beach 59th Street and Rockaway Beach living in Astoria. They're like, but how did the shark bite you? must go. Like, what? He's on my podcast this week.

1:25:56 getting killed by sharks oh yeah there's quite a few that that recent one that was in egypt is don't go where they live. If the forest So you think we should fuck up those sharks? fucking four seasons in the goddamn rainforest. after tourists who screamed for Papa Yeah. If someone did something that dumb and they'd like regularly dropped off the carcasses there

1:28:10 I stay pretty close to the water. them right in the mouth and then run Did you see the video of the kayak getting hit by the tiger shark in Hawaii? and I'm sick of these pro-animal people. Yeah. Gavirate. Yeah. to find out why it had done it. That's what it is. if your grandfather went shark fishing, it was fuck yeah grandpa go get one right but now

1:31:15 Like, one day one of these sharks is going to get them. Yeah, what are we doing here? That's his friend. Look at the mouth on that thing. about human beings, by the way. And they never do this But the person who disagrees with me No one's saying we should eradicate them. Where was it that they... Yeah, the Alcatraz Swim. Oh, that's interesting. Those wild fuckers. Yeah, but no one swims up there. And you know what they do though they swim all the Bay Area. Yeah the Alcatraz swim Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, like I think Nick and Nate Diaz bolt under like five. Wow. That's interesting

1:33:52 Yes, Peter Atiyah. But a week or earlier a guy was swimming far out, got eaten. the fucking piss in my pants Definitely not. showing off for his friends, No, you don't see it. What a horrible way to go. It's like one of the oldest things in the world. The ocean needs a cleanup crew. Because we were talking about Mars. Uninhabitable. Like what we're planning on doing to Mars, like this is Elon Musk's whole SpaceX plan,

1:37:48 We'll probably need to eventually. about them the more there's something about it that makes me say at the very least it's not all there's always some bullshit in it. own stock in that company right oh and then you okay there's like so it's so hard to know so i don't know what that could be. The governor, These people are making billions of dollars with these

1:40:22 of a And you're enraged about some people go that person's really amazing but they don't work hard or they have a drug and Yeah. They love fucking people over. Yeah, for sure. they want it they want to crush people yeah they're they're raiders it's weird and they I'd go, who lives here? but really just looking at it and being amazed by it and being like,

1:44:13 the, we're just a year or two away from people formulating all their business models on ai You would be very hard to replicate right Some dudes will be able to get you. Yeah, they're alive. decide to improve upon its design and make its design far better, like really quickly and then make better and better versions of itself, And if it is sentient and it figures out how to replicate itself and it's

1:46:48 If you have no restrictions what if they all have access to the same hard drive? going to improve people's lives and, you know, how AI is going to educate people in a different way So whenever you get people like that, there's going to be like things that people, there's things that people are going to be upset about where and now they can be angry about all kinds of things.

1:49:06 you know, what it essentially is, is a rival brain. Is it? In a time span, we can't get that good that quick. Yeah. Or great. Yeah, and think they're in a better place. I do think we're going to need technological innovations to deal with the crumbling cities, and we might have to start Want to see my foot? What happened? When you're walking around barefoot in fire and country like an asshole outside

1:51:56 It's interesting to me that we're confronting all these things now. Crazy. can pull them tight, lace them tight, and actually it would help with the swelling. It could be good in the sense that it elevates us Yeah. It doesn't matter. And with the robot things, it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw a boat today where they have a helicopter that folds down into the boat.

1:54:13 They're crazy. It stores away in his boat. There's so many bugs. Listen America is beautiful. That's right, but the best places of America The only way you could do it there is to be a novelist because we need friction and we See if you can find Gore Vidal's house. It's not bad. It's really good, man. And then, you know, William F. Buckley lost his cool.

1:56:38 Did he call him a queer? fucking, it was very combative. are correct in wanting to organize their country in their own way politically. Let's stop calling names. I'll sock you in your goddamn face There's zero likelihood that guy could throw a good right hand. But they were insulting each other while disagreeing and interrupting each other. each other sometimes it broke out into a conversation. But that's what I wanted. Right.

1:59:44 Let's just go in here and try with good faith. You lay out what you think part of our identity. That's community it's the desire for uh you know some type of social standing and people want to you to have I don't think everybody has that They fucking decided to start a workout routine and called unvaccinated people plague rats But it's funny. scenarios in your head that you had cooked up became reality right right all these things so

2:03:57 Because during the pandemic, they made them wear masks all the time. is that as you're talking how to read people. Well, I hope that's true. that's going to come out now that'll be the complete opposite of what we were told to do Because we think in the early stages of any social media app, having majorly famous people on it brings more people into it, right?

2:06:38 people are being chosen you know in rooms in china to be famous and like you know nobody knew you know about uh you know era of human beings like a totally new chapter yeah like a weird chapter where nobody trusts Most people's minds I don't want to read. Right. Yeah, some people probably have fantasies He's like this regular Massapequa dad walking around, going to bars, telling people about

2:09:13 But again, this was a guy who had two kids. Oh my my husband's Gilgo Beach murderer thought like I love my dad but if my dad My father wasn't just talking about his dog. People have these weird, hidden lives. They watched him and his family collected DNA samples from items that were thrown away. I'd love to hear why like when these you know why did you do it but i guess it's just

2:11:10 To get away with it Got her back on a bike huh CVS? What was this one that was saying? Some of the known physiological effects of increased concentration of CO2 include headache, increased pressure inside the skull, nervous system changes, effects, example, diminished cardiac contractility, vasodilation of peripheral blood vessels, I saw so many people outside in L.A. wearing those things.

2:13:55 A lot of people now are just kind of like. For reference, the FFR, when I just looked it up, FFR means a filtering face piece respirator. That's a fucking Darth Vader mask. but the thing about specifically surgical masks, Like some of the aspects of those N95 or was it KN95? People our age will remember it and you know what? It'll be forgotten by people. Like, we'll remember it, and people our age will remember it.

2:15:45 Well, they want one, but. I don't think you have a choice. The pandemic's scary because it may have been started by people. It seems like they know what happened. If your job is to create diseases all day, you're probably like, let's create something is they just manipulate these diseases Yeah. No, they're trying to have mosquitoes likeinate people? No bullshit. Yeah, no, they're trying to have mosquitoes

2:17:39 mosquitoes to vaccinate people. carry malaria. So every time you just hit your leg, deliver malaria vaccines through mosquito bites holy shit dude we use the just don't want to chill with a billion dollars. I'd have a fast car and I'd have a fucking jungle gym in my, whatever it is. You've become this like all powerful. go get stung up as much as possible

2:20:30 Yeah, I got stung today. That's fine. Sounds like you got to get stung every couple of months. She was given a drug to clear her case of malaria and sent home. water. You know what the solution is? Shopping malls. in a mall right you don't get it in a hotel you know you get it in a forest or a swamp for Do some of them just carry it? Where do they get it?

2:22:35 Yeah, there's a lot of animals that have some funky-ass diseases. person that person becomes infected Some sort of a parasite at one point in time really fucked him up for months and months. or a bacteria that they had not identified before. Yeah. So they do that now and they've protected At one point in time, he thinks they were hunting him. That's so crazy.

2:25:21 like yeah i'm your god they would shoot arrows at you still. But if you went down there with some phones and crazy stuff, they might think you were a demon too. They knew shit back then. And you kind of can't do that anymore. so they could die from nothing, from a cold, right? Yes. Because cold right because like that's what killed most of the native yeah 90 of the native

2:27:06 and the Jamaicans who had been pleased to provision them when they first arrived All were convinced when the eclipse began, as Columbus had told them it would. The fact that he was timing for anything again before their rescue six Yeah, I'm sure. mosquitoes I saw a jaguar walk right by him. It was real close. I mean, there's stuff there. But, you know, get some resorts.

2:29:52 The jungle ate them. I still believe in the power of the four seasons. I do think that's- Those Madison Club properties. Now what if it had drinks on it with a tray Yeah, they're big. That thing is It was that big. God bless her. When you're in the machine, she made her money. That's how she likes to party. Be grateful. But it's like, be grateful, be happy, and just enjoy it.

2:32:50 I feel like I would. okay no one told you that's a weird one you just shit yourself yeah that's a weird one you just I'm remembering when I was drunk, when I was really drunk. you have to take a shit you have to tell people Do you ever like about to go on stage and you Just like a load of lumber. Yeah. Well, I don't think. Come on, you have to be able to.

2:35:30 Yeah, but also, like, I do respect if Lizzo was like, Also, there's something very funny about the idea of Lizzo walking around calling them all fat pigs. And a judge having to look at all these fat people in a courtroom and go, wait, who's what? I mean, it's just so funny. Brett Butler famously went loony. of everything. Right. Jersey Shore? One of those guys got nabbed for tax evasion, right?

2:37:57 Do I have to pay all of these taxes? They don't play around. Well, and then they try to figure out a way to keep the ball rolling. thing is like start their own right yeah come up with their own concept the reality show economy She was already rich. It's fascinating. and were making money in that sector of the economy know and just if it's fascinating to watch the waves of money is interesting because What it it does not make you happy it can make you happier

2:41:06 They're rich. Because they had duck calls. McMansions? There's not a lot of mansions Wouldn't you get really sick for the shoes? No, yeah, yeah. She wanted to go back for one last hurrah. And you're like, well, it is full of shit. It's a family affair. She's like, yeah, right. People have a lot of different ways to live. shithoarder. Yeah. It's wild.

2:44:16 of course. Didn't they stop making Yeah, probably give them $5. It's a live documentary of the cops. Yeah. I'm not going to edit it. But when they're doing it in Vegas, you can kind of get away with a lot of shit. Yeah. Yeah, that's there's weird legal loopholes like where you some states allow you to film people and they don't have to know about it

2:46:13 What if it's your sister and someone stabbed your sister? She took photos? They want it. A lot of times it'll happen. ketogenic well it's El Pollo loco so you do I I'm not taking a word for it yeah There's a thing about a real quesadilla with a flower. Except the star who was allowed to smoke the real cigarettes. That, you should go on strike for that.

2:48:31 But then, so I was really excited because I hadn't smoked in a while. in the scene but i was just like and then i just put it in the ass did it burn your throat it sucks When people end up in the depths of a fentanyl, you see these people walking around San Francisco, And you go, what is it? myself when if i play a few hands in vegas where i can feel my oh this is you could get into that

2:51:08 And they will play and win a tournament and win a check for like $10,000. If they're not on the poker table, they're playing roulette. That's how they get their excitement from it. Is that correct? and they travel around the country playing these high-stakes pool matches And then when you're not, you're being crushed, right? It's this brief moment I think,

2:53:23 right? people go off the rails. Your become a product they see you as a product They'll bring you anything. Yeah, but if you request it. you're a guy like mitch hendberg somebody was probably getting him smack. Somebody knew that he had a real problem. people from all talents and a lot of those people like they have great observational talents and a

2:56:41 comedian too. Yeah. And I was doing it myself. Yeah, your ability to just bore down and keep doing something over and over and over again until you get better at it. Right. I've told this story too many times, but I was watching Dana White. So for him to get his juices flowing, it's got to be crazy money. To go hard. Well, here's the thing. So you're wrong.

3:00:30 Have you ever been to a Gambler's Anonymous meeting? Booze. Yeah. And almost all of them smoke cigarettes and drink coffee. Right. take them over right none of them care that much about any one or two of them you know they're just They're fine. Like, and they have a couple of drinks and then something shuts off and they're not there anymore tim's not there yeah who's this person right who's this fucking half robot right wandering around

3:03:52 fun. of your life and go oh all the successful people got out of here yeah and then all the people that And some of them you like. But did you try to go to the bar sober? And I'm like, right, but you're also a schizophrenic. you can't, they're not interesting when you're not drunk the bar's disgusting it smells like shit it's not cool if you're not if you're drunk there's

3:06:33 doing shots, toasting this just proximity right so if you're around a fucking bar, Yeah. you know what I mean He's a piece of shit. I'm like, yeah, she seems pretty selfish. And they kicked her out once. after that bar have that great line? It was about being homeless. and keep doing it. have a problem and i was talking about the bar hung out and instead of saying like

3:10:16 weed and doing all that stuff till you get to 25, it's like you see these people, all that used to hang out. This guy on the glass, the bar because like he was so fucked up this guy that owned a glass thing a glass shop so it's it's like that's the type of bar it was you could just i still drive people by it like i can't I could walk to that bar. What's it's name?

3:12:31 I forgot you already said the name. The owner lived above it. Long Island, right? If you went So those environments where you can go in and go got fired. Yeah, and everybody's like photos on the Alper Everybody was kind of like a misfit. Tim Tillman. Eight o'clock? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking hot. We'll say. Oh, no uh see tim live yes tim dylan comedy.com yes the american royalty tour is on sale and we were in philly we're in charlotte north carolina we're everywhere