Joe Rogan Experience #20200713 — Fight Companion - July 11, 2020 Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Booyah! And we're live. The COVID crew cannot make it. just put it on your microphone Alright No? Okay, then don't have a drink. They're just trying to get by. Crazy. To WME if they choose to do it. Dude, they test the shit out of these people. joke. She just beat Mackenzie Dern of hitting with the back fist you wind up hitting with the the middle of the

4:08 Yeah, that's a big underdog. How can you fuck his name up? I don't know, dude. Is he? Peru, something. There we go. It's got a lot of that vibe, that Nate Diaz-Connor. Paige landed a nice kick there. Oh, yeah. It's some things that fish swam by. And Paige is trying to hold her in place and clamp her head together, that's a legit She took a chance there. Oh, Rebus is going to

7:32 there she might get it right oh she's gonna get it right from there page's gotta tap you can't And again, there's something about people that have done martial arts their whole life. That is so pretty. And then she Damn, that girl's good. It's his cut out a bunch of scenes. They didn't show no fight scenes. and then he takes his fucking collarbone out.

10:18 Joe Rogan, this is it. He rips people apart in this movie. Arrows. She went to sleep. And I watched Goodfellas this week, and I caught a fuck-up. It's 1955 in Brooklyn. You weren't even allowed they got white bread. It's 1955 in Brooklyn. Bread and Zeppelis. Oh, my God. if you want next time you watch it there's a continuity part where he has the cigar in his

13:27 a traditional Italian breakfast at four in the morning. with two psychopaths to come out. This movie came out when I was myself one hit and you wouldn't test positive how come there's a limit there's a limit oh one hit They just take your hair and then they can find out from that? I didn't try to... I smelled coke, heroin, fucking. You just take it like a man.

15:51 because you know for coke With 80 fucking thousand people It's not that bad When I was growing up in the 70s, you got a thermometer in your asshole. You know how many times that doctor... He'd tell you to bend over. and tell you you're 91.1. Look, this is UFC 4. I'm surprised they just wouldn't use the master recordings from the year before or whatever i mean i don't know you know

18:25 because it would be like three or four hours of the craziest moments in a fight. It's just like, oh! So quiet. Is the gypsy king in there? Crawford wrestles. This girl's real powerful. five engine it's so good man it's it's so good it doesn't even look like a movie anymore a lighter Remember I got fired from Mafia 2? Yeah. So they had to send us all home and call crisis counselors in.

21:49 What do they do for Grand Theft Auto when someone's murdering hookers with a crowbar? I mean, what happens to their crisis counseling Are you sure you know what you're doing? Yeah. Oh my goodness. On the show. He's on his ninth show. I'm pushing it. Why do people let people tie them up? How about that? Yeah. How about that? It's like, you know, with, what was it?

24:19 And then right before the guy kills his son, he goes, ah, I was only testing you. No, no, never. wanted me to tie her up, started tying people up on a regular? and gladiators. And it took a while before people were held accountable for the devastating effects that Yeah, and a big part of cards was fucking sensational yeah and so is chris pratt super normal guys who just happen to be actors. But most actors, most brilliant, brilliant actors are fucking crazy. And that crazy is what produces this amazing work. Marlon Brando was fucking crazy. Towards the end of his life, he weighed 300 pounds, he lived on a fucking island, did what everyone out there, fucked guys and girls, fucked everybody. He was crazy. Marlon Brando

27:39 like that. He was going to actually hit her. Beside this, he's fucking beautiful in this movie. You could not do this today. at that time yeah he was training they were really tight What are we doing? This is a strawweight, obviously, right? Hmm. No, it's strawweight, right? Strawweight. It's strawweight, yeah. She was a strawweight champion. Yeah. Mmm.

30:05 I mean, her face. joanna train was rolling yeah to put a stop to that is completely insane. I think the little Polish girl. No matter who she fights, her toenails are always banging. She's beautiful all the time. Didn't she come to a fight and you were going to take her home? Can't pull the trigger? How dare you? Oh, damn. all that muscle mass the cost in your in your conditioning and endurance also like harder to

33:08 of fluid. You can lose water. in the sport he explained it to me and i was like oh okay that actually makes sense like i never My last physical, the doctor calls me because everything In a bottle of water Like I was told to stay away from salt That fucking liquid IV shit, like starting to take electrolytes on a daily basis, changed You have to drink water all the fucking time, man.

35:34 I mean, imagine being a 290-pound super athlete just going full tilt, just full stride. Football has these giant bursts injured joey you would love this aaron hernandez series that they have on wondery do you ever Does it cover things? that man is his brain damage you believe that at that age at 28 years old when he killed himself I've been watching them just for purposes.

38:01 Look at that, one-two. Whereas Rose is kind of piecing her up. You're strong as fuck. but Andrade keeps coming. That was when she was legit in her prime. you couldn't see uh jean winning it either she could have won too you know it reminded me a lot God damn, she's so good. It's one of my favorite fights of all time. And that was a very tactical fight.

41:37 so cool and and and the majority of that audience i mean they were slammed in there you could never can't be that close to that when people see other people doing things they're like well i can do it We were on Orange. He's waiting for the results from the weekend to see what the fuck goes on. Did they open it? The governor? He was one of those fucking morons.

43:45 West Palm Beach is open, but Miami's done. Yeah, Miami's got like... Those clubs that are still open, they just roll those dice. Rose is in trouble. I might faint. Good guard use. thick thighs of on Jarvis oh oh man oh my god she is busted up dude i know look at her face bad shape everything her whole she's just winging these big shots She got mounted.

46:20 Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. She got hit on it again. Joey Diaz brought Cuban food for us You know me dog I show up with my own hot sauce. Am I making Bloody Marys? But not as good as any other hot sauce. I like that real Mexican shit. This is what you, You know that? It looks like Rose won on, looks like at least the first two rounds in terms of like total strikes,

48:47 That's bad. Yes, the long version 3. They got the Malook water. Well, it's amazing that people have been shaving their nuts forever, but Manscaped was the first I could use a razor, like maybe some of that. I nick my balls all the time with that fucking thing. God damn, that eye is crazy swollen, man. like when someone gets cut up like this, What do they do with an eye like that?

51:57 that they stick in ice and it gets real cold and they take that and they press the liquid and move He always bleeds. So this next fight is a motherfucker. because it's like you know that they probably have Service. What are those red things in there? Yeah, from the wrapper. I ate two deluxe spicy chicken sandwiches. I didn't think of that. at an all-time high.

55:03 or the CEO of Goya He said something about it. Wait till you see this fucking beauty, Joe Rogan. Is that someone playing this person or is that the actual person? Joe Rogan, this thing will blow your fucking mind. and shit. Walter Mercado? Can you grab a reel on this for him, the trailer for him? Look at the crowds. He sold more If he came on, your mom would say,

57:47 Yeah, in Puerto Rico. He got him for $14 million. as he got older were having a good I mean, that's all the Goya guy did is he said something pro-Trump. and now you're going to side with them. The mayor. For fucking double dipping Make sure that's correct. He's either he beat marlon morais he lost the decision the ufc agrees with that opinion which is why he's

1:00:51 No, no, no, no. He hit him right in the solar plexus. He's the scariest guy of all time. You should have been there for the last one. So it was one of those apex fights. They were moving a house. You know me, dog. I never know. I'd be happy to drive you home Aldo used to struggle to make 75 have been at his whole career he should have been at 135 his whole career and he can win a belt here for the first time since connor knocked him

1:04:48 this guy's in trouble this guy's got that chernobyl power behind him right here born It's not like he did his whole life, always wanted to be a Thai boxer, Do whatever the fuck he wants. He's like, fuck it. That's Guyana. Did you ever watch that documentary? Yeah, don't drink the Kool-Aid. The scary part of that documentary to me The shit the Hells Angels sold.

1:08:02 And it's just, it's part of something. everybody's woman what is it yeah it's just a part of uh south america you were in san francisco That's what's so crazy. This is a great fight. He almost never kicks anymore. of his game. Because he would hit you with one You know, I'll tell him, like, just tell me and I won't tell anybody. been training forever, right?

1:10:46 Oh, shit. Jan just hit him with a big right cracked. Renato Moicano who went up to lightweight Dude, he can only take so many of those. kicks because they were the thing that everybody avoided forever. And you see, like, he throws two in this fight, Oh, we looked for one there. He almost spun himself around on that. Oh, shit. Jan goes up high. Another kick by Aldo.

1:13:01 That means a lot. There he goes again. he does oh jan with a big kick to the body oh aldo with the shot look at that trip gets him down Jan is mean Oh he got hit That's where your liver is. Boom. I want to see the body shot. Okay, both guys assuming like a Muay Thai stance look at that like front leg leg. Yeah, Jan's keeping that left leg up so it doesn't get kicked.

1:16:18 They're both. And then he goes to the body. right here's where your liver is see where my hand is yeah and your liver is big your liver Aldo hit him with a good left hand with the liver there. now he's attacking the inside of the right leg jan's leg is in trouble that left leg is in real because i watched another crazy documentary on showtime. Oh, God. What's their new one called? About the kid that gets...

1:19:25 do it to more people. Oh no. Yep. The outcry. It was unreal. What happens to a guy like that? Jan's in trouble. So he hasn't been paid yet. Oh, man, I think he spent three or four years in prison, right? I missed it. And you know what? It happens a lot, guys. Well, I mean... Or something like that. And you know what? Right, and imagine if you're a public defender and guys are lying

1:21:59 obstacles you have. good. We're in the third He's got two more rounds to work on that right leg. He's been at least scheduled for multiple, multiple five-round fights. Dig into that liver. He's hit him there so many times. It's fucked up. God damn, it's a good fight. He's hit that spot so many times. This is a fast pace, too, man. And a counter shot to the head by Jan

1:27:01 just getting this is just a really close fight, and then he worked for the spin there. and it's just the end of round 11 or round 12 or something. Was Rumble in the Jungle Ali and Foreman? Zaire, yeah. Three is three. Oh, shit. Put some Use Me on. Ooh. Had a good time. hunt birds really pretty sure oh look at that. Went for the trip. But Aldo is so good.

1:31:19 than any other fight. Because Aldo fights in such an explosive way good this is not good this is not good but it's great for jan he's gonna beat him up this might 146 rather significant strikes. Look at him. Isn't that weird for a Brazilian like that? That's a great school that he came from, right? Not that guy. is waiting for him to throw it and then he immediately counters look at that jab

1:34:39 I wonder who's winning this. Oh, Aldo's in trouble. He's fucked. Slide his knee across That right arm is just totally taken out of the game, It's interesting. Big fucking elbow. It's over. He's telling them not to hit him there. Oh, my God. Look at how much blood is on that canvas where his head is. No. And clearly Abu Dhabi. At least. and just getting hammered in the head, it's not enough.

1:38:52 dig into the body look at that Imagine if that's all it takes. Just, they have so much money. No more than like four people. Why take a chance? Is it? South Jersey was okay. And this is something that because I'm not a scientist, and you know callan's got it right now and i was talking to him on the phone he's like it's so And sometimes his head hurts.

1:42:26 He goes, yes, it works. He still has a problem with his taste and his sense of smell, I'm like, what do you think? oh you can argue about a vaccine you could especially vitaminps, dude. Whenever I come back from the road getting IV'd up with water Yellow Springs. and then they distance everybody away from each other. I mean, it's crazy. true i know it did right especially after seeing what happened with shop and gallon i know those

1:46:27 Too many fucking things can happen. I get it, man, but it's got to be... for me to do comedy, it's got to be just right. I like that. COVID means pay cut in Latin. Spread them out so everybody feels comfortable. me before this COVID shit. to a fucking family. And Joe would I don't give a fuck what the waiter wants to do. So this works for me. Motel 6?

1:49:07 Mask on. I'm the waitress. What music do you want to hear? And fuck this. He's a COVID delegate. What do they say? He knows how to do it. Yeah. Then you get designated into a zone. Oh. So the rumor is it's not working here. What kind of precautions are they taking? What happened? If you weren't fucking talking, call adam and tell him jimmy schubert can't go to the store no more like i begged him i go what

1:53:12 That's the worst Schubert impression of my life. tweets random people just to keep an eye on them because they don't trust anything out of fuck down two three months before us they They're partying in Taiwan right now. and they have no cases now. How are they doing that? Nobody's got $1,500 in Cuba. Don't you get fined? That full-ass haircut. And Volkanovski's calling bullshit.

1:56:25 Yeah. Hey. oh don't let him get to you like so you know what's thinking about the other day super serious show and then when the comedy hits you it fucking hits you like it hits you like Yeah, this guy's scary. Went straight to rematch huh Yeah. If Max wins, I'll pretend I'm on vacation. Yeah, it's a grappling event, right? Submission on the Shore. I don't know where that is. Submission on the Shore.

2:00:01 Because unlike striking, Here we go, baby. You know, they're always exciting his rule system You don't get the money from the audience. People love that shit. That parade destroyed Hollywood. I like what the store is doing, the outside patio area eating. I think Ari had the weekend in Long Island, outside in the parking lot. Here we go. is just such a tank i watched a great breakdown by dominant cruz who explained that volkanovsky

2:04:20 So Max has been being a little more slick so far in this first round keeping his distance that and he's honest about like his style like the benefits the pros and cons of style like he but he knocks people out with volume and precision. right now it looks like he's getting kicked a lot less in the legs I did almost forget. There's two more fights left,

2:07:38 It's so hard to get hit there. Oh, shit. He hurt him with a right hand earlier in the fight. Boom. If you're on stage and you're loose, that's it. like i'm gonna fucking kill you're already sort of screwed going in with that mentality yeah no He fucks with their head. Two for one. That pays dividends, man. That was one of the things Damn. and gets closer to a shot at the title oh nice knee to the body by max whoo I mean, that Wei Li Zhang-Yuana fight was so good,

2:12:46 He went inside and outside with that leg. somebody unless you're good friends with them Oh, he drives him with an uppercut. Always thinking. He's pointing to someone on the corner. Maybe someone in Volkanovski's corner. Bang! that's the third time he's made his His intelligence, his endurance, volume. Yeah. imagine that then imagine he's fighting jesus max just hit him with a flying knee but he's he's kind

2:17:01 hardcore wrestling and mma training it's probably a terrible idea. Did you see the picture of his leg? It's really crazy the way they do it now. That's why I don't understand about Usman's knees. For now. Henry Cejudo on the show was talking about vatican ricky ricardo smoking five cigars a day they figured it out they figured it out they're cancer it's asshole cancer i believe the medical term is asshole cancer they caught it in the

2:20:49 He was pissing blood. So let me ask you this. You know, they were doing shit in Cuba. Yes, round four. That was a beautiful jab. Dropped them twice. his leg buckled from that low kick. I cannot believe how red Holloway's leg is. And another right hand. Oh shit Is also a city kickboxing guy They're men. That's a knife. even the things that seem like they wouldn't be savages or savages you ever hold a uh

2:26:08 is there drug it just feels like it's like a drug to them because they're just addicted they start I'm all the way booked till December. I'm not confident. It didn't really bother me. I could smell it in the air. this fifth and final round they're going for broke i think they think this is anybody's fight max Woo Big jab by Volkanovski Looking for the takedown.

2:29:32 One of my security guys was in Vegas during one of the fights, even though everyone's been tested. type of distance and energy break has to just it's not as good it's not as good for questions Yeah. he said mindy bless was going to be in his corner. Oh, that's cool. But I think he was just joking around about that. Last minute. sort of like the opposite than the last fight because

2:32:42 That could have been Total strikes, 152. and shit, you know. Oh, man, look at that left hook. Like I said, I'm not looking to make any dough. There's a place across from Subconscious Jiu-Jitsu, Brett's place. You can have a gay bar. and then he got the mistress of his cousin knocked up. Okay, hold on. Let's see what happens G'day, mate. And just I'm not looking to make money.

2:35:56 Like, I'll leave, and Tony Hinchcliffe comes and does a show. They're going to be 10 feet away from you, Monday at the Comedy Store we switch the microphones I already got two mics That's good. You got to be out of the room in an hour. You got to get that new thing with the filters. So that's the only way to do it. like the filters that they're going to make you put in every restaurant, hotel, all that shit, are going to be filters that tell you if there's COVID in the air.

2:38:27 They're going to raise the prices a deuce. It's so tough to judge these things. No hype. Tough fight to call. You could argue that Joanna won that fight. Win bonuses, if you want to have win bonuses Here it is, baby. I want you to have an idea of what it is. I don't know what states it is here's the funny thing. and fucking pushed him back and threw a fucking haymaker at this kid.

2:41:50 If we all have to go to a conference every year, twice a year, we have to do like, you know, like they're doing with cops now with the screens, simulated type situations, like let's call that. I went on there and they put me on the spot. That's another thing. You got to see. I want them to take AlphaBrain. They got to come in at five. It's a no, dog.

2:44:00 How are you going to judge a fight? These judges are the same way. because she was an old lady I don't want a fucking espresso. So you're like, I want to kill you, Mrs. Gambino. But I've seen things that are just mind-boggling. our own division. But we all They use boxing system. no takedowns right and it's just kickboxing then what do you do with the wrestling judge

2:46:46 You get these million dollar promotions have 10 real experts as judges you're probably going to pick the right guy all do a bad job but some of them are terrible but there's plenty of experts out there man there's so But it's worse because baseball doesn't matter. I don't know. I feel a lot of guilt about that. NHL, NHL, Pat DiPuzo fucking got a bad injury.

2:49:22 They make good money. Yeah, but it's probably the same. Yeah, but I don't care what you pay them if they're shit. Because they had comics as judges, and they were talking to their friends afterward. Right. If I'm a comedy judge, I mean He won 10 grand. Jamie, what's the line right now? Was it 3-1? Masvidal is a bad motherfucker So he switched stances and comes at him with the left hook from the, I think it was from the southpaw side.

2:52:08 And then the way the Ben Askren fight, there was another sneaky fight. nervous system. You come charging well it's every year it becoming this is the first year anniversary of it but it became like it's like a thing it's for everything it's also the intro to the video game it's that photo right Yep. When this guy was a and he's still holy shit this fight's crazy

2:55:17 Kangaroo meat hat That's a good question. Who gave us that again? That thing gives me good energy. I ate his liver, I ate his heart bro if they do an analysis of my DNA And then I'll eat it for breakfast You would if you had this mamma jamma Man, I could picture you over a grill. Look at this. Kamaru took him down Let's see what he's able to do He fought at lightweight

2:59:43 He's about as big as a lightweight Excuse me Enormous welterweight he's about as big as a lightweight excuse me Not much damage at all from the bottom. Nothing. What did you say in Cuban a second ago? because he thought that one of these guys was going to fall out. a fight on july 11th just keep training man even if the negotiations fall apart because if you do

3:02:41 That's how he was with Colby too. Oh! who won rounds against or round at least against I fucking love myself at 170. Oh, big right hand there by Usman on the break. Masvidal stands dead straight. Oh, look at this. Drag him to the fucking That little video game He's got wrist control. You can oh yeah like where Masvidal and Kimbo Slice used to fight

3:07:40 sun suntan lotion on or something? It's not the poor guy's leaning on you. cage for sure he's got to try to turn him he's got to escape he's got to somehow another get out of Masvidal still has a full gas tank right now. They had a mid-body camera shot, but that was a nice low kick. you Cubans you talk a whole different language Look at that shit. I wonder how that even works.

3:11:31 Any chance he got to use the kick machine? But some other dude bested me. Things are heating up Trying to fix it. This is nice. I didn't see the replay at all. whoa what's that that's the part that was weird he cupped his nuts yeah yeah that was it it wasn't I'm like, Herb's not going to fuck this up. To one like this, that's big. Where Usman's working with Trevor Whitman too

3:17:27 That's a good question because some people say yes and some people say no. yeah that's when that waking up in the middle of night shit ended in my life i would leave the It's so different What it's like See, Masvidal, he's just fighting off these takedowns all the time now. It's 9.30 in the morning there right now. To them, it's got to still be. Dude, dude, dude.

3:22:14 Big punch by Usman And such a good wrestler I was really interested in seeing Gilbert Burns versus Kamaru, too, You got to win by knockout. But do not let him grab you. like what khabib does is the most dominant yeah but it's still it's like that was randy couture's Man this is just no That's just such a big advantage. Kamaro does, That's the fucking

3:27:47 he is not going to win this fucking fight. It's gonna be a lot of energy to try to get up from here, man You can see it. For sure, right? There was no conspiracy theories? There's always some new one. Well, when I found out that Brendan got COVID, when he texted me that he got it, I was like, oh, my goodness. And people can entertain. Pay-per-view it.

3:32:15 They could sell booze, snacks, somewhere in that range close to four months for when they really started working on the vaccine Are you going to be the first one to line up and then have a third eye on your asshole? I remember getting that. I don't think you... Shingles. I faint. But you like all that shit. They made him drink a smoothie, and he just kept passing out.

3:34:34 Yeah, I sent him to get Regenikine on his neck. They bump into me, man. and that was like two years ago right yeah he stopped riding bikes and um but the injury just It's called Regenikine. so I went to go get a fluid IV drip down the street. Headlock? Listen to me. heretics is. Hereditary When he'd come over, I lived on 205 West 88th Street. They'd put on Cuban music.

3:38:21 He goes, Antonio, you ready yet? Be a man. I'll be like, oh, fucking knock you out. Stop crying, you fuck. Be a man. I'll give you a couple syringes, next to Kearney, New Jersey. I don't fucking like milk. And one day, I got old enough and I just didn't like milk. Oh, yeah. He got a glass of milk, and he put ice cream on the fucking thing, Because 1972, my mom goes, you got about five minutes to drink that milk.

3:41:20 I had milk dripping. She goes, let's go in the bathroom. I was at the hospital every other week. I'm not doing it. And she would shoot me I'm lucky I'm alive, dog. This is my first time ever. So the piss don't go into the mattress. I'm like, yeah. is telling you. Let's get some Let's go. I'm telling you I'm going to go down. You know what this bitch said to me? She goes, then don't sit down.

3:44:24 bitch? I'll give it to you. I got out. She put the thing around me. Remember those things they cracked? Something I'll never forget that Fresh with the He's like a townie. I go, really? Oh, okay. You know, the whole fucking thing. It was like a corking gun. And they're like, run, run. I will never forget that. DACA, they make code. fucking rub my shoulders.

3:47:48 Okay. Yeah. I could smell it. like mr. Diaz was sorry about that I'm like don't worry about nothing I won't Because it was too much. They didn't allow my friends to do anything. I was like a stud. It's time for you to go. Wow No yeah this week Kill Tony YouTube channel thank you