Joe Rogan Experience #2033 — Matt Rife Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. Technically, but you're on the road, right? It's just you have to learn how to manage this new thing now. You have serious insomnia. mean, I do have to smoke like every single night to even have a chance of falling asleep. I can stay awake on Xanax and everything. I just think about anything. It's just fucking anything. It sucks because obviously, I mean, sleep, for as much as I work out, like your muscles

2:33 performing, you know, I'm out till two o'clock in the morning. And generally I wake up around I feel like everything turns up to 10 again. You're better. Everything works better. Your brain It's so not good. Because I looked into it because I genuinely started to get like fearful for my own health. Do you, do you agree with having needing eight Is your body very fit?

4:30 I mean, I'm sure they did. We're looking for like a president, a prime minister. insider dealings with the party that has the most influence oh i know god damn it i'm so happy i take It might make you feel better, And don't think about it. He's not your leader. Yeah. I've gotten answers back on EVPs, what's that radio thing? You had them on, right?

7:38 So I'm very familiar with those guys. many of them. They really did it something here. I mean, it's on some ley lines But I didn't But that makes when something does happen that much more valuable. But he had this theory about things, and he believes that objects contain memories. Like maybe you don't want to buy this house. because there's something about

10:55 Yeah. So what my concern is, Maybe you see memories. too? It's like, you never see them in You'd want to get outside. You've got to get to the door. to go there and just witness it and they sent me by myself on a bit basically a game of hide and It's terrifying. I didn't think about that, but now I have anxiety about it. What? But they didn't have fiberglass.

14:31 have to be out of wood. Fuck. fucking animated figures in there by themselves that to me is like a perfect scary movie it's Yup. And you're out in the It depends on experience. they barely made it. And they were just, their food was nothing. Like, ugh. Was it just sails back then too? Bro, they thought that they were in India. I think that's today.

17:40 Do you ever see that video going around recently of those potential mermaids on the side of that ship in the middle of the ocean? There is like a sailor, a guy sailing on the back of the ship and you can hear moans, right? You hear tunes. a very small group of mermaids So this video is a couple years old. He's been out a lot of time out in the water. That looks like...

19:46 register it a little bit easier. Because what I have found you know what whales do make that sound Really? Yeah. one but then the guy disappears so he's making a bunch of videos on tiktok and then he just And I don't know if on this specific one you can see it. Like you can see the silhouette of a person on the side of that hill. It's weird from this far away

22:38 That's one of the things that Bigfoot hunters, Oh, okay. seven foot sometimes. Yeah, that's not that big. Oh, he made an admission the video was a hoax, and then he died oh you oh oh he made an admission the There was one on the Les Stroud show where the guy was like so obviously wearing a mask. That guy did legit things. with a very limited amount of tools,

24:47 Yeah, that's why I like other shows like, remember when Bear Grylls had a show? But there was, you know, have captured the video is very controversial. He's looking for him again recently? Who? Do they really? I've seen it. Oh yeah, I think a grizzly bear is the number one thing I'm afraid of in the world. What is this one? the show, like it's like the guy zooms in on it.

27:37 I was trying to find it. I'm going to spark that back up. Oh, damn it. That looks fake as fuck. Oh, damn it. wouldn't give him money. There's no way. Or if it was a bear. And you're in the Pacific Northwest. You're in this. The mountains up there are beautiful, right? China sun bear that went viral. i saw a monkey in costa rica that had his hand bitten off and uh i was like wow what do you

29:55 They're so strong. Oh, my God. Diabolical. They're trying to rip you apart. You've got to watch it. Oh, fuck. She went to visit the lady, and the chimp tore her face apart. Shut up. Was this Michael Jackson's monkey? No, that's not the same one. he snapped and attacked There's been quite a few chimpanzee attacks. cage and tore the guy apart yeah because chimps get very very jealous the fact that very jealous

33:03 She knew the chimp, yeah. She came out with a tickle me Elmo and the chimp. She knew the chimp. Yeah. Oh. But is there any photos of him as a full-grown male? is there any kind of the perspective of the full-grown chimp next to a human. Yeah, it does look like one of those. You don't know how to handle this fucking thing you do you use bullets yeah you fucking chimp is eating people's faces and you see him on the

35:38 Oh, of course. Maybe we're not, you know? Is there an exotic animal that if you had the means to do it properly, you would want as a pet? Right, but wouldn't it be cooler if you saw an otter in a river and he's out there chilling doing otter things? I just want to pet one so bad. This isn't as bad. Yeah, but that's a fucking wild animal in your face.

37:23 Like, if they were really domesticated, I mean, I don't know if you can domesticate. That's pretty fucking cute. Or you can. How are you going to teach an otter? Oh, yeah. What a fucking torturous life. He's the best. Those are great dogs, too. They're so smart and so impressive. Like you could accidentally squish it so easy. Well, selective breeding.

40:12 their ears were more floppy. experiment to study the process of domestication in real time. He was especially keen on understanding So this is – I'm probably butchering the story, but over time, these things started to change and they softened their appearance and they dropped their ears. But males grow these big ass tusks It's crazy. Very quick evolution.

43:11 I love it. car and she's got a nice little Soften the fuck up. And the same sort of experiment is going on with male human beings. create easy times easy times create soft men soft men create hard times vicious cycle yeah it's it will turn into that wild looking thing. our ancestors You feed them at night. had been transformed into a pink, Do they really?

46:20 I think it's about six, if I had to guess. Yeah. It's just an average. it makes sense that if you took dogs and you like slowly gave them food all the time and all the you Oh, the thing about wolves. and on the ground became wolves. Wow. Oh, super aggressive. Klondike bars. So aggressive. They're terrifying. Remember that? And then when they started giving people teddy bears, then started like thinking that like bears are your little friends yeah and

49:48 They tell the people about the Wicked Witch. Now I remember. Yeah, they were the first person to go on Sag Strike. It kills all the fun. That's why I like to read about shit like Hollow Earth. And when they're walking, it does start moving side to side. But there's a fucking guy hanging. Hanging little person be damned. It's so fun. are into it if you just google hashtag space is fake you'll be taking to these random instagram

53:00 And they have these people that have the access to these accounts, and they're posting and crazed left-wing opinions. people do it to steer conversations and get people to lose faith in democracy, lose faith in the police's And then you could get people to believe that, you know, there's been a bunch of them. How much of it? the internet like if the internet if there was like a a social like a contract that you had to

57:14 What's crazy is people... and that's how people decided whether or not you could go to the grocery store today They just love fighting. Just avoid interacting with people in that way. Yeah. I'm going to get John Lennon for sure, dude. Well, it's not. most of it's not real, but there are a few psychos out there, so I wouldn't challenge people. I know.

59:17 um, like, do you do yeah my body moving. But that's what discipline is. Go back to sleep. But he's lovely. I like being around positive people that inspire me to do better. Stavros the comic? Ping Trip. He's hilarious. Oh, this is it? Yeah. You need to work harder. That's why I was like, are they okay? You're a fat, sloppy mother fucker. He's so funny.

1:02:41 That's funny. I never have to look at my social media for the rest if you're a good comic and nobody Sam Morrell. Well, at first he was doing, it was his he was releasing a new bit every single week. who's always trying to figure things out and get ahead and do better. Yes, yes. You had to do it. You had to do it. a good thing. Nobody in their right fucking

1:05:43 going to be successful. you're done, son, over. Yeah. I go into now is like, so what reboots do we want to do? Right. Like that's a real conversation. Yeah. Yeah. wow. Have you ever seen the amount of money? Yeah, influencers. What is it? you can buy Guatemala. reaching an all-time high Uruguay. It was OnlyFans. Make it one of those content houses where it would be like 10 models living in there.

1:09:52 Yeah, that's in a year. Girls were doing Patreon before OnlyFans. Yeah, exclusive content. Oh my god People just AI-ing it very realistic They used AI. Come on, man. erry sharp that it was in China and it didn't match any known primate in he Oh, shit. Yes, but no. Wow. kind of human that they found i think they found that in Russia. I won't say that was like

1:14:18 Like how tall? At first they thought, like, maybe that's a deformed human or what is this? but has there been any thought as to these smaller bones being related to, like, aliens per se? The real nutty ones. Why not? There is something to be said about that. Yeah, these dudes are out there pulling a wagon with a horse still to this day. I'm from Ohio. You'll see them in Walmart sometimes.

1:17:28 Yeah. Oh, that's outrageous. You can't drive. No, no, no. No trades for you, sir. You familiar with, like, come on, man. Commit to the bit. You can't fly. You can't fly. No, you can't. You can't drive. You can't do that, man. Look, they're in the buggy You know On like a two way road And I used to have to drive. For a couple miles. in man i mean it's just toxic it has to be it smelled was like, oh, what? I don't even know if they

1:19:39 I'm like, oh, yeah. But I didn't There's a great documentary on it where they follow these Amish kids and they go party in and have a good time. like attractive to cut loose Let's find that out. Really? Well, one of them was. And I'm like, what? What's the goal of a cult? Then they eat. No way. And you're in the car. He has none. I'm in. Yeah. when you're on the road?

1:24:06 You were always just traveling. I am curious because I'm about to shoot my next special in September. It's very scary. So it's like it's kind of a fun process because, you know, you put it together over time. But sometimes you have to remember that's not always real stand-up. You feel like you're not connected to it or whatever. Because if you're up there, just I noticed the other day,

1:26:31 What stadiums do you want to do? across the street and we it was like right there and so we were sitting in I'm like oh you can't hear because people are, you got to wait for certain tags. Yeah, I saw that. Yeah. 25,000? were just like, what is this? It's weirdly intimate. Everyone's in there together. It's great. I don't want to be like other way. The other way, it just feels like I want to be out there with you guys. I don't want to be like up here.

1:30:01 Yeah. something at the same time. You know, it's Fuck. to laugh or you will go fucking insane. I think people need people too. They were weirded out. No. But the right people. to Raj I won't understand it's just chaos not only that there's always you know Oh, out afterwards? Yeah, dude. that's what's the key to you getting some sleep. Is that real? I think it is. I always

1:34:11 It seems different. I mean, I'm not a fan of any of it. That's what it's like. Buffalo Trace, I'll drink Buffalo Never could do it. My parents were heavy smokers. It's terrible for you to just do it. and they're smoking blunts all day long so you're taking in a lot of tobacco yeah that's a lot of Are you getting them made here? So I bet they actually do make it here,

1:37:01 Oh, is that a real thing? Like a rocket. It's not a musket. in a teenager's mouth, breaking his jaw Do we want to see it? but that sounded close. Man, the most gaslighting and he was talking about It has nothing to do with whether or not our thing. Oh, he's a drug addict. Get that Russian troll farm involved. The FDA is smarter than you. Same. As much as I post on TikTok,

1:40:47 And I have a theory that TikTok does AI dances of trends that they push out to people's streams I think it's AI infiltrated trends. Podcaster number one. And they're probably using your microphone. It's terrifying. There's no like, well, back in the 1800s when high speed internet first was available, there We need mind-reading. realize like, okay, this is outrageous. Like this is not how the world's supposed to be run.

1:44:12 i don't know if it's the worst possible i have to go build a fucking bunker after this and get all Really? And then the internet came around, and I first got on it when I was 27. I'm so lucky to have got to witness that. It was so slow. It was like, baby. Oh, I remember. Yeah. I'm so lucky to have got to witness that. And you'd get an email. and you're running through these mazes, and you're fighting other people that are on your screen in real time.

1:46:32 So it just came out like a week ago. There's new levels, too. You can find a server you could just join a team But this is the game. So you hear things, too. Give me some armor, Max. How crisp you could play the game. all the maps inside and out so they know all the moves on the maps like there's certain places where I had a quick cold turkey. They still did this championship, and this guy Rafa,

1:49:44 Look at the commentary. Look at the sport. Is it? Yeah, but it's a lot of like fast thinking, hand-eye coordination. Look how he's fucking that dude up. You're right. No, this is how quick the game is. That's frustrating for the other guy. So this guy, every time he fucks that dude up, he gets some of his armor. Yeah. I've never played Halo. I think the chat rooms would be addictive.

1:52:20 Oh, shit. going to sign back on Change the pronouns. People aren't good. and you're out there fucking people up and i wanted to i wanted to do like a modern troll We find out what this dude really is, and we go, you said you could beat him up, or Yeah, so Cops does, but I told you that show that's been going on, of jail well you're on meth and your fucking pants are down by your ankles and you're on TV.

1:54:59 built for jail, dude. I hope I never go. Were you doing meth and codeine I remember hearing about it. I forget which one. But Seagal was hanging out with these cops So, imagine You're like what is going on am I in a movie Everybody's seen Above Damn. There's a flow to it, you know? Matt, if anybody ties me up, they're going to sound terrible. Did you ever watch that show, like, 60 Days In?

1:58:36 Oh, my God. It's impressive. The prisoners will be like, yeah, I think he's from that show. He entered the program to observe the behaviors of the corrections officers. Yeah. They go in there and they really live with these people and they get information. Probably. It's so impressive. Uh-oh. and they're just like in that cold cell with everybody else

2:00:53 They already know I'm a fake. You might run shit. I bet they have. population, he's starting to cult. Oh my god. we'll give you a chance to get out of here. He's in, like, 10 years Egerton? Oh, he's really good. Some people are just really good talkers. to it. His name is Paul Walter He gets the Jamie Cyril of approval. Like that guy in Long Island.

2:03:27 He got away with it. I'm fascinated by John Wayne Gacy's stuff. Never caught. Countless theories have gained traction over the years, It's been reportedly revealed. Is the guy still alive or is he dead? Okay, it says misleading tweet title inaccurate. to be connected to killers. What? Yeah. Like they, they, they, do they see it as a power? vampires that's the thing about vampires.

2:06:39 I think scientifically they believe I guess that's that. Are you going by the one where they kill all the people? But then there's like, you know, how much of it is just what people are scared of. And there was a woman who did bathe in the blood of children. But look at this. Nailed it. At least 50,000 people in the past 150 years. because she was a royal,

2:10:17 I just read that recently motivated due to her extensive wealth and ownership of large lands in Hungary. It is possible that That makes sense. So she's a fucking serial killer. The highest number cited was 650. that said that she had killed Dexter. Has there been a serial killer for a while? Like it's tobacco. parts of the world even more common. Ghosts?

2:13:53 Fear of the Unknown. of the Fourth Kind Third kind. Alaska and back in the day she was What? But they have, so it's a movie about this case, but they splice in real footage of her therapy session that she had to go to, that she was going to while she was being abducted each night. It always happens at night. Paralysis. We don't know what is going on.

2:16:46 Is that a psychedelic state your brain goes into every night yeah and if chemicals vary in human beings serotonin varies dopamine varies Constant paranoia. where physical bodies don't exist anymore into heaven. Maybe that's what's happening too. or, Like that might be a thousand years from now. You can't see it. There's no wires. And it's the exact same

2:21:00 You could send it to Japan. Yeah, in real time. Yeah. control. You just exist in the woods. Yeah, you still have You create some kind of reality. Yeah, that would be the most terrifying thing. That's what I think. Yeah, that it's all by this strange mathematical process that exists where everything gets All that stuff is wild. but it all relies on a miracle.

2:24:46 to throw in your face. Like, is there something in there? And what was before that teeny tiny little thing? It's almost like you know what happened. There's theories that it's a never-ending process of constant expansion and compression, which is really terrifying. We're too stupid to be talking about the universe. We just look at it like numbers. What?

2:27:17 That's scary. Thank you so much for having me on, man. Just doing a little plug. Thank you.