Joe Rogan Experience #2042 — Joe List Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. What's going on, Joseph? I mean, obviously everyone tells you, cigar if you want oh yeah zany's is great but i was like i don't think i'm doing smoke a cigar that if you smoke inside right But your green room is like really well ventilated. You don't want everybody to be subject to it. We'll see as the crowd grows. But I think maybe because we're older, though. I'm sure there's a bunch of comics in their

3:01 Yeah Well, it just didn't seem like the people that I saw doing coke were going anywhere. person who just hung out in this attic my heart will raise and I'm just so paranoid about heart. I know, somehow or another pig parts and human parts apparently are super similar in some way. I've fucked a few pigs. Research has been working on the new pig-to-human transplantation technique

5:19 I think as scary as AI is, I think all our problems are over, dude. I'm going to go buy a fucking big chest. Right. That stuff can't be good for you. What is that? Yeah, I see it all the time. They just went so far. It's like, what? This is great. You're going to die. That stuff can't be good for you. if it ever gets to a point where the mold of what we think of as the human physique

6:55 Do you think anybody will be like, I'm sticking with this? Yeah. I mean, people are like, well, and the privacy, and they're hacking your email, and they're sending you these scams. about anymore. Yeah, it was scary as fuck. that an action like that changes your rights forever. But other than that, it doesn't really feel that different whereas covid does feel different

9:57 And if you took it, people one person starts crossing the street while the light is green and Interesting yeah, that's what I I don't know if I read it or heard it, but like before you'd be staring going Compared to what's real online, it's mostly fluff pieces, and Martin Scorsese I didn't I don't know something something where they put, It's some kind of like product that makes bumps in you. Yeah body

12:58 We got to get you back. breaking down phil you know kubrick or whatever you know john boy you know that guy on youtube because he's awesome. Right. is the other big one. A lot of horse shit and cocksucker. And I've been It's cocksucker and cocksucking this. And horse shit is the other big one. Like, I hate cocksucker. Like, if you catch someone stealing your tire,

14:54 guy stealing my tire, a cocksucker kind of guy. I'm a big 911. I'd be like, 911, this Trussell? Because if the tire iron is positioned on the actual lug nut itself, or are you going to take his back and choke him out? No, no, but I'm saying whether I would hit him while they're doing that, I'd probably say something first and see how they react, but be ready to hit him.

16:51 you. That's dangerous or deadly, though, right? That's right, American History X. It is a shoe or a foot with a shoe on it. I think it might be anything on your foot, I feel like that was a typo somewhere and they just went with it. Yeah. mound to home plate is 60 feet six inches because it was a they did it with pencil and the second Yeah. Is it? What's weird that we have English words in England that are spelled different than the way they're spelled in America.

19:35 There's a few of those, yeah. We invented the car. I have not. is that the driver's always in the middle of the road. America you're on the left side of the car but the right side and see yourself in the oncoming headlights. that would be bizarre. Yeah. Can I see that? So every single fucking time I would turn the windshield wipers on. No, it's fun to have the physical.

22:44 It feels like you're doing like an alt comic. It feels, it feels every time like, don't fuck this up. Like a really bad Seinfeld bit. It was a fun night. That little room is in Austin from those that was from Montreal from Australia. Did you ever go on any like when you before you started like I gotta go see or when you started I gotta go see was pretty evident that it was not the same kind of insight that you had from his earlier work

25:38 album of it okay um i think you can get it some places but but I think, I don't know, there was some controversy with it. And then the one after that's not. lose the material and just have that unique way and that the marriage of the He like brings a guitar on stage. Most comedy, which is what makes comedy great to me. places with the right people and oh sam's here sam's here

28:41 Right. working on new bits yeah always turning over No, you got to do it. Especially the bottom of the barrel listens. that spot and um, that was great. The late show? fun getting stuff out of them because a room that small if people are kind of chatting or But you don't want to. she knows she was like what do you think of crowd work and i'm like it's so crazy that like teenage

31:52 You go see their actual act. And if they're seeing it live, it just happens. Right. only city that does this where the MC goes up and just asks everybody where do crowd work does anybody just go up and say hey what's up everybody how you doing let me tell you about my audience to talk to some of the future comedians if they have a point that the person disagrees with

34:33 And they think they can because someone's been talking to them in the audience. Right. So he would ask me like, where are they from? They're like, I'm on a date. comedians to want to kind of like personalize everything. Yeah, you're hanging. I think somebody shot one in the big room. Brian Simpson blew me away last night. by and we're watching him.

38:05 I always told comedians, be really nice to club owners Yeah, this is it. So there's a foundation under that, Did you like, I feel like I'm interviewing you now, but I mean, how did you just explain the vision to whatever you call it? And so when we had looked at another building, I told you about the place that was owned by a cult. And so fortunately, they changed their their mind and they sold it to me

40:19 Alamo Drafthouse had been there before and we also had we saw it we just had to address like okay how do we do this and we we had a bunch of different ways And Louie had some amazing advice. And then in the main room, the same thing. just fucking physically move the wall to tighten it up because obviously comedy just works tighter No, manpower. Black Mirror.

43:30 there's a scene where bruce is talking to clarence clemens and it's just like it should sound like geniuses can't do it and then the lady was like no you can they just didn't want to learn how to Of course. Do I just? I'm a green tea guy. I'm in Peru. Coffee is one of those weird things that people call an acquired taste. this is fucking gross. Like an IPA,

46:07 fish and chips. Of course. I wonder what it would taste like if you microwaved your soda invented something awesome and nobody thought into a thick, sweet tea. and I can't remember why I said it, but I had a bit. I don't remember the bit where I said I like to boil my soda, and I can't remember why I said it. Maybe it was about, oh. I like to boil my soda.

48:08 stop pushing the memory guy I'm gonna leave you alone you gotta let go You're going to blow out your transmission. remember. I still don't remember. It is weird how there's some drinks I mean, hot water, I guess. And then I was sarcastically shitting on the club to Curtis, and came back with high-end tea. Oh, yeah. It's sketchy. You walk 30 feet away, and you can see them like, good luck.

50:23 I mean, I made it. Well, last time I was here, you drove me because I got accosted by the two. Were those homeless folks? Literally, they're like, call 311 and report it. They're like, this is not working. i'm not like some fucking hayseed i live in new york like this is unusual out here there's like When the cult house, when I was walking around, and then it was like i looked at four or five different locations and they were pretty good

52:54 and it's magical, And I just like, it's out of my hands. Let's do that. Yeah. Tony Hinchcliffe's knocking on the door. Because like Monday night, there was 25 people in the green room in one toilet. But yeah, that's not, but then there's a downstairs toilets too There was a young lady that was nervous to shit with you waiting. Hey, I'm just throwing out suggestions.

55:57 heroin and music boy how many fucking amazing musicians were heroin users isn't it unbelievable i tried to do this acid you're not like oh hey it's joe list how you doing i'd picture like there's a fucking But it's insane how good it is. Like, when you sync it up perfectly, it really does seem like it's a soundtrack to the movie. I think there's more to the world than physical things.

58:12 I think your mind and the world interact with each other in a way that changes the world and changes your mind. I think sometimes there's like evidence of that in just these weird, unique ways. Like you're told these go together, so you're watching. When you actually see... interesting who the first person to do it was. watched it? Long time ago. One of the funniest

59:59 Boy, 1930 whatever it was. This is just where it cuts in. the loud bells stop. So there's this conflict. As the buildup happens, like the tension increases in the scene, It's crazy how well the timing is And that's just one piece. movie like you see someone to bite people go like that like your little dog Conan. What about Avatar? I typed in watched.

1:04:52 So you have all those people. Yeah, it's crazy stories. and these men can't stop looking at her she's sitting on their laps what is that was that the I think younger than that when she first started. It's a little odd. That's what it's supposed to remember Bro, how weird is that? just held up a whatever three month old baby oh maybe the baby was a year and a half at that point

1:08:37 Yeah, walk around with my baby. But people got mad. Yeah, the fake baby. It was uh, I mean it did look ridiculous Come on. That is great. it's like puppetry I mean, I guess you got to at some point, right? See, when you make cement, you need to put the right amount of water, the right amount They didn't develop into an actual human being. You're not prepped to handle that.

1:11:27 Demi Lovato. I was like, what a Freudian. She's a singer. Yeah. Actress. I'm aovato. Sorry. I don't think I know who that is. She's a singer. I don't know about Mickey Mouse for sure. She's another one that I've talked to that had a similar experience. I have a new phone. I don't know how to get the notifications You won't get any text messages until you swipe back

1:12:49 It's fucking. They make a CGI baby. and a second baby failed to show up If you're going to use a fake baby you have, not telling Clint Eastwood how to make a movie, He goes, I was like, this is nuts. I mean, that sucks. You don't see the baby. refused to shave his mustache and there's a moment you can freeze frame I'm sure you can find it where you just see what I forget the actress's name I'm a maniac

1:15:29 This might be tough. What's the other great fucking song on there? But that song rules. were like very popular of course I listen to that song, and I'm like, this is me, baby. Living forever? Yeah? If you could just trick them. What is heaven then? But now life is suck. What if hell is the trick that you're scared to die, so you sign up to be a part of this

1:18:54 that run around telling you the devil is Because that's always amusing to me. All the warring and all the thievery and all the horrible shit that people have done to each other. You should be a little nervous. you think your soul leaves your body when you die. you can Do you know how well you would dominate the world if there was a million of you all working together in sync?

1:21:49 We're going to reach a point, They're already working on it. least, before they they merge don't you and immediately puts a stop to all the shenanigans in What are you going to do with all these birds that get chewed up like they're flying into a fan? That's all they wanted to do. They stink and their methane is fucking up the environment. and so they're farming us they've created us so we started off as primates and through some sort

1:25:05 which will increase our technology, I got gigs. No, we're going to be just fine. slightly but but that's also just a proper way to live. In 2016, it was like a joke to say that he was going to win. Well, I think he didn't even think he was going to win. biden laptop that that was election interference, Let's move on, Mr. President. But why don't they go to court then? This is what I don't understand. I don't want to get,

1:28:06 Well, I don't know. He was right about the bribes. Well, you're telling the truth about another liar. Parse? I've been sweating. so you can see. You can see he's got tights on. Can you see the mustache at some point? I'm not seeing the mustache Damn it. The mustache thing is bothering me, though. He's got fucking short hair. They didn't even give him a wig. Look.

1:30:18 and in that clip, the guy, the show, the guy, another cigar? Is that all right? I mean, all pessimistic that's good yeah i have faith in people i think i think people need to somehow it's like people want things to be better, and it's like Yeah, it's really not good. vacuum suck that shit put it right in the earth that's all positive i was reading about some

1:33:09 Just get my neck a little bit. And it seems to always be moving in a far better direction. for fucking no reason yeah but it does feel like everyone is coming from what they feel is a good spartans is that what you're gonna do hopefully don't you feel like maybe people will start addictive, man. But less people smoke than before. That's so they have worse still a lot of people smoke of course but you might have more people that realize that social media is detrimental

1:36:43 your phone. I love YouTube. I love podcasts. I love the fact that you listen to music. I love the fact that you can get entertainment on your phone. I love YouTube. If I'm stuck somewhere and there's a UFC. I just fucking set my phone down right here where we just sort of accepted it. And I've only gone a couple of times without doing it. to order a phone from Apple.

1:38:20 And I was like oh my god else but instead of feeling that we just go straight to the phone it's also one of the ways And in reality, it makes you less productive. Right. with ideas but my father's been working from home he fucking hates it he misses being on the train I don't care. Usually I can hang in there for a few hours, but it gets hard when I do the IV.

1:41:21 I'm all steam. I mean. After this, I feel like, you never know. Yeah, I love the steam. A lot of different heat exposure is very good for you. anti-inflammation effect they they believe from the heat shock proteins because your body's just your body deals with that it just flushes through your body, I'll go sauna. It's fucking foggy. He goes, it's basically a gay pickup gym right and so they had to stop guys from fucking in the steam room and like they kept happening so they had

1:44:36 but I feel a way, I've never seen sex But I go. 11 or midnight or something. I did have a guy flirt one time with me, That's huge. and helping out the LBGT community, It can be done. in a fucking sauna I mean, and I do Like, okay, we could do this, but let's let a little air in. I adore you. Somebody started all those terms. A cream pie Wikipedia? Cream pie known as

1:48:13 ejaculation shots are a comparatively recent development development like it's a fucking as the beginning of 1999 There's porn theory. where he claims the women were all into it. but all the women I've asked were like, Maybe it's a Coke thing. I had a friend that smoked crack, and when he smoked crack, I just read the end of the article. where they are referred to

1:51:07 Holla at your boy. He's technically not felching. It's all gross. No, but don't you think these women are being kind by being like, What do you think I? Right. would you eat your own jizz? No, it's fine. Not even for $2 billion. If you do it quick and just fucking put your nose to the grindstone, Oh. I encouraged them. Make them grow quicker or something.

1:54:11 I mean, again, Doesn't mean you have to do it. No, we're stating our opinion on what it is like to us. Sushi is also gross to me. and they had all these wacky sushis. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's not my scene. No, not in America. You go to the Outback, they're not going to be like, do you want deer? Didn't Arby's have a venison sandwich? Hey, I could be wrong.

1:56:53 Both were in Norway. All right, well, I had reindeer. like a kid's popsicle stick joke. Jordan Jonas, and he killed the wolverine with a hatchet. to domesticate a deer species which I don't think there's other deer species that are domesticated like that and there's horses just fucking running around? And that's a big one. Reindeer riders, historically semi-nomadic people in several parts of the world have domesticated reindeer.

1:59:24 Isn't that wild? Yeah, that shows more exploitative. you have to find food, We have it time stamped. You know the End of the Wild? Uh-uh. So they have to get out of there. it's a fucking home run. will fuck anybody. MILF Manor that's the show. actually came out Like three weeks from now. I think it'll be great. I'm looking forward to it. you not liking

2:03:05 4 000 hours of my dad just talking about women he's fucked and what he'd like sexual and eating And you're like, yeah, pretty good one. normal to me and he's hilarious possible it's possible there's there's the I think Greg Giraldo's son is doing comedy. Yeah, almost like you're carrying the mantle for your father, who was a great comic. Mantelpiece is the place where you put the mantle.

2:05:11 just know it as the man mantle uh to hold a specific role or position along with any associated I thought that was just mantle. So a mantelpiece is a structure, wood, marble, or stone, above or around the fireplace. So complicated, Jamie. but it was always Mantle Peace. Yeah, my parents have one. the town has a brush fire. Remember how bad New York was?

2:07:22 The jet is, like, up in the sky, It's like a fog in the neighborhood. or wood-burning fireplaces, rather. fucking smart, you know what you're doing, it's not too windy, and you know how to make Yeah, it was crazy. Baseball talks in your head. The sky's orange for whatever reason. I've never seen forest fires that orange. Well, whatever. that this was happening.

2:10:31 of trees there's like that's what it looked like some amount of billion trees so this is 1, 1.15, So that's when the conspiracy theories come in. I mean, I don't know if something else burnt up there. I trust the people. I don't really know much about them just make a ditch Yeah. I bet it's more than that. Oh, maybe I see. This is like one of the greenest periods in recorded history.

2:13:23 Like what percentage more green is the Earth today than 50 years ago? This is the other thing they keep talking about with all this climate change stuff. That's fucking stupid. And they need, like, they were talking about that during the Trump administration. He was blaming some of the fires they were having in California on poor management of the forests.

2:15:01 a giant percentage of the trees. from NASA's Moderate Resolution Imaging Spectrometer. They don't say that. I'm scared of ice ages dude. No, we'll be fine. Yeah Right, but this isn't, I'm not talking like NBC. Well, it is a concern. Look, if the Earth gets warmer, it is a concern. Like, the fact that we ignore what we're doing to the ocean is crazy.

2:18:31 park i have many huge parks there but there was one park in particular lincoln park and they were Open, they glued his feet. Did you see that guy? It's like a Home Alone fucking trick. No, I haven't seen it, but it's like we're talking about earlier Open is like 80% people take the 7 there. It's actually quite a green event. I think the overall good that I do is okay that I drive a private jet.

2:20:35 I can only do a few voices legitimately. Yeah, that one's easy. You got a Chewbacca? Like, why is he... No furry thing has fur covering its dick. He should have a pair of shorts. Where are they storing it? He has bullets across his chest. But it's laser- But they have pistols, and doesn't he have a rifle? So that one on your right, Jamie, that looks like a costume that you buy.

2:22:55 Yeah. Yes, it does. He didn't have a crossbow. Yeah, with galactic technology. Yeah. I don't remember. blue people, but I was, No, I mean. and the Hulk and Spider-Man I was really into comic books and the only thing you get was like the spider-man cartoon on TV. There was no like real dr strange the silver surfer they were cool yeah there were different kinds of superheroes i get

2:26:38 Bale. I mean, I love Keaton. I mean, I grew up Yeah, no, he's great. Yeah, like the bat the Tim Burton one you're like bricks would just show up on the corner of streets and people would be throwing And then there's the new one. Yeah, they're all. He's fantastic. Robert Pattinson. Oh, interesting. No. I mean, he has a movie called Dog Tooth that's amazing, and that is in Greek.

2:29:55 Alicia Silverstone is in it. But it's a really fucked up, disturbing movie. I don't know how to say his name. Lan Themos. He's got a new movie coming out with Emma Stone. That's a fun poster. Yeah, check it out. I don't know how to say his name. Yeah. named Tom Dustin, He runs a club in Key West. yeah, and we were drunk and wild. I like that. Every few years, I think. I think they just

2:32:05 Show me the clip from this documentary you're doing. I fucked up. I should have done this before. let me just tell you about the Comedy Mothership But all the comics were here, but yet do not promote themselves at all. He's a sweetheart. And that was what Tough Crowd was. God, I love this. Again, I've seen him in the past. He's hilarious. And now he's getting up multiple times a night.

2:35:09 he's ever seen in his life. he's gotten so much more. the last 10, 15 years. Like it's like really funny bits that are all organized on themes. But that's also why his work It's gonna be Also brand new special All that stuff Where are you going to be live next? Oh, that's a great room. You know what's a great room? Yeah, get in there. You know what else is a great room? Portland. Portland Helium. Yeah, I was just there. Oh, it'm pumped. I love the city. I love the room. And it's mostly sold, so act fast.

2:37:10 It's like doing stand-up in a war zone. Thank you.