Joe Rogan Experience #2072 — Stavros Halkias Transcript

Transcript

0:00 the Joe Rogan experience We missed this entire Jamie ordering a half cow. Yeah. There's a lot of grass-fed ranchers so used to corn fed though. Okay. They're darker. You know what I mean? You don't want them hanging out too long. You want to be with that perfect 30-day mark. You don't want to have too much laxity on the back end. Kettlebell swings. It's a hip hinge. That's what you want to work on. I think kettlebell swings. Okay. It's all in the hips. Okay, nice. Kettlebell swings.

3:52 Bro, check these fuckers. Let me see the calves. But it makes sense. Yeah, you're rucking. He's sending us a picture today. when I met Bert, Bert didn't clubs, now all of a sudden you're selling out theaters. i was with him he's the only one having the best time ever you know I mean? It's like he's having the best time in the fucking world. It's got to be genetic.

6:43 Shane's out of control. Bro, he sat here with Ari, and Ari tried to go beer for beer with him, and he was 16, So it's gone through a lot of flesh. How old is Ari? It's probably a 49. Yeah. His posture. Makes sense like maybe 2000 2001 okay, so that was Yeah, before 23 years of destroying his brain. dull his mind's not working well or he's just like leaping to stupid conclusions or he doesn't have

9:31 But you kind of look at them like a salmon going upriver. then I was fascinated. but bro is he such a freak do you imagine yeah i wonder when he got pussy but i think it was like And he could do it better than anybody. Oh, hell yeah. what that guy is. You can't get him to do dude he was so uncomfortable in what's You know he would have preferred to be like, love you, homo.

11:59 And she'd be screaming after it. Schultz's was awesome. That's really good sushi, too. It's one of the most beautiful areas of California. homes. Domestic abuse. Oh, yeah. We went to a bunch of the islands. It's so interesting Even though it's the thing getting molested appointment. but it was openly discussed. Oh, you silly boy. Is that documented?

15:03 Oh yeah Dude. Anal father. Yeah. That way, the woman's tingue is completely gotten rid of. fucked. Dude, how bad would this be if Sorry. That's the guy you got to suck off? So do you see that guy? and they've all failed. Is he a professor? I think once they go there, they kidnap them. And these people live a horrific war-like yeah existence go to Oh.

19:38 He fell into the hands of the Liberation Army after landing his Susi Air single engine plane He's got the Papa shirt on. We fuck your mouth. He's being pretty cool for... He's been there for 10 months. He just kicks and puts his fucking shitty drawers back on. sophisticated rifling there. Yeah, they look trigger discipline. All fucking That does not end well

22:29 You know, like, you don't probably know. Some people can do that. Yeah, yeah yeah we lost that a long time too much You're like, what happened? Look at this one. But they're pointing at random shit. Look at him. Really hard to do because they realize how valuable it is to have some westerner that they've got kidnapped He's been there since February 7th.

25:13 Recognize our independence hands. They're holding hands. That's cute. Or maybe they like the guy You know what I mean? You know what I mean? cell phones there right above him alright, they're a fucking country now. teamwork just a few minutes ago We have our own humanitarian team inside the TPNPB, That would fucking rally the troops. I mean, there's no one else there but them.

28:09 Roka sunglasses on. Moonlanding. I am the captain now. paid actor, one of the guys from Captain Phillips. We get him to pretend he's one of them. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. I was watching Obama ice spice. There's an AI Trump rap or Trump raps. What happens with that guy? I know. Dude, he was- I was just alone in Shane's house doing fucking cannonballs into his pool looking at his car.

30:03 Oh, my God. It's so fun. The crowds are always good. So it's like you haven't pre-thought of anything, and there's some deep part of your brain that just something awesome will come out of that. And I'm like, okay, i'm like okay you're gonna be You never know. It's way more comics that have specials. Yeah, for example fat rascal on Netflix Oh my god

32:39 Yeah I have that vibe. feel bad. Didn't feel threatened. Some good-looking Maybe there's little dick porn has to start now. You know what's weird about Japanese porn is they have to blur out. I mean, you really don't have to have any real porn because it's all blurred out. Sometimes I'm in the zone, Joe. Right. Grass fed. You want to get the real deal.

35:00 But yeah, I will, I don't know. I first met Callan, first time He goes, I do read it. You want girls to think you're interesting. So you leave these books out pretending that you do right huh by people i mean girls of course you want girls to think You can switch it on the outside. about the sun the phoenix sun seven seconds or less i read a lot of basketball books you know

36:49 Back to the Japanese thing. Check it out, man. I know that guy. Yeah, and Norwegian Wood, he fucks two. That's what he gets out of Murakami, but what can I say? You need to be those motherfuckers. You get these really hot 22-year-old students that are enamored by this amazing professor we can't offer you that much money, but here's a picture of all the girls that got in this year.

39:02 When do you think they stopped banging their students? Grads, I think it's up to grad student now, though. He was like 25. Yeah. That must have been a big factor. Sure. It's crazy. Without question. And then she gets into the job. Maybe you needed to change your smell and like put different fucking deodorant on and shit. that brought about. Because it pretty,

42:22 a fuck and you're like, I'm not, I don't think Just trying to get, yeah, hard for us to even contextualize what it must have been like before birth control. tricks your body into thinking you're already pregnant which is just nuts so you're walking No, that totally makes sense. it turned the guy trans. You could fucking And you don't want to freeze nut.

44:39 Crazy, dude. he explained to me the difference to require I think that thing, that was lost in me. She's got like a- You know what I mean? Angelina Jolie maybe. Yeah, exactly. Hall & Oates. Yeah. It's very original. She is insanely hot. She is insanely hot. I guess I'm thinking about a sharp nose. Yeah. Whoa, what the fuck? and takes them home. Come to me.

49:11 So, and that's the thing. She has a little softness to her. Yeah. I was like, what's your address? And I fucked her I'm sure guys are getting Young Boston Joe Never. You probably were The earring and the leather jacket. Yeah. Squidward, the handsome Squidward job. It's like a bunch of horny women aren't coming out to that's true to a nebbishy to 20 year old ari that

51:53 Had them young. Teen mom. Fun. Totally. It's probably getting, it goes back to the whole, what we were talking about Like. dreams of greatness? Happily. No, I couldn't do that. Interesting. A lot of people don't have respect for the art form. It's one of the most widely enjoyed things. yeah whereas with comedy the problem is we're doing something that everybody does

55:30 That's part of the problem. A fine, exactly, dude. my, Like if I have scientists in and I have to have discussions with them or if there's something I'm a golf cart. There's a photo of Jackie Gleason on a golf cart. That's awesome. Respect. Yeah, the colonies. And listen, man, that guy got drunk constantly. Okay. Love that movie. Oh yeah dude I mean that's beautiful

58:47 Got the stache. Go back. My shit. He's the best pool player in the world. You know, there's a guy, like a real pool player named Minnesota Fats who just stole Smart man. Freeway Ricky Ross. basically. The rapper Rick Ross. The real Freeway Ricky Ross. Freeway Ricky Ross. I think the... once he was in jail so he got out. Yeah. So he starts selling drugs and didn't know that he was selling it for the fucking CIA

1:01:21 50 cent who's the best troll of all time he's so funny he thought he was destroying jackson was so good when beat it came on you didn't give a fuck about those kids He was like, I don't like silk pillowcases, but bitches do. Yes. Yeah And it is literally as good as any political comic, It's pretty damn good. Sweatshirt Purr Mountain's own song in the middle of a special.

1:04:56 He's just in the middle of a special. No, that's awesome. Of your in the middle of it cat Williams doesn't give a fuck dude. Well. He wants him there I never saw any of that. that's it for cat that one time when he's just completely destroying that some woman on the He's like, And he's like, 19 inches long and I have no perm Get on out of here. They make sure.

1:07:39 They make sure. They make sure. They make sure. They make sure. They make sure. They make sure. This is your 2019 summer line that hasn't come out. Look at her. Absolutely. How does she recover from that? I'm not just saying she has old clothes on. Come on, lady. How do you think that? Because of his ridicule of her Oh, the victim card. He kind of came for me, and I'm not that kind of comedian.

1:11:54 Yeah! Yeah, you're fucking with an elite comic. It's like, what are you doing in there with him? Yeah. It doesn't work. boy justin schlegel i'll do his show because show because he was one of the guys that started ahead of me. But, man, it used to be radio was fun. Yeah, better buy a shitty microphone. I think it is gone. It was big there for a while, and then there was another show, depending on the year you're talking about.

1:14:41 Yep. Isn't that crazy that that went like blockbuster? I would show up lit. Just barbecued. Let's go. I didn't even think of that. What are you talking about? They would have said, hey, hey, you can't talk about the pyramids again. like they would have meetings with brutal but that's how those corporations work man fuck you pay me get out they they they're

1:17:29 Like, what are you doing? I'm going to do the thing you. And I'd probably start talking openly about it to put pressure on my contract negotiations. Why do I have stocks? purely TikTok, right, where they're like, they don't know how to be a radio guy? That's what I'm saying. He's a good comic and he works hard as fuck. He has his own show. Very rarely do I say it's never going to happen.

1:20:09 Or they can figure it out. Some bullshit. Tom Green is a really good comic now. very, like, creative guy. Dedicated to hard drives and servers. And then the other one that got me into it was doing the Opie and Anthony show Yeah. It's just like, how's that going to help you to shit on something that is obviously killing it? And then something's coming along that's taking over radio.

1:22:36 you know what, I got a billion dollars in the bank. But you know, at a certain point you kind of, you're not that guy anymore either. That's wild. I don't know. Oh, my God. personal beef with him because they had Like, nope, there's a fucking line. Killing it. Let's pretend it's real. Look at him. I remember the first ones I did were like in Connecticut. I was living in New York

1:25:32 Like the old one-nighters and shit because, I mean, it wasn't as good. And back then, it was really strange. There was nothing there. But they had this weird sort of way of delivering material that sounded like they were comedians comedy hour and all these different shows where you could go on and you It wasn't that there was a dozen like the NBA in the 50s, right?

1:28:11 But also, it's the natural order of things. It's like you drop that guy in the UFC 1. Because the first UFC was 30 years ago. Yeah. Yeah, they had multiple fights in a day. Yeah. good at fighting so it was easier at the time yeah I was like maybe this maybe I would have fucking kicking dreams. And then I just had to pick one or the other. Second guy, I beat the fuck out of him.

1:31:35 Get back in there. You could beat that guy you're fucking him up. You should just should have been in better shape damn dude fucking renaissance man over here i was really good man there's some stuff online that's another one I did one of those like one that I drew for any reason? Did you ever draw And so I would draw cool tattoos on my friends that were thinking about getting tattoos

1:34:11 Because back then, kids would get tattoos, like in high school. And one day, his mother saw something peeking out under his sleeve and she fucking started Dude, those teen, I had a friend who just got like fucking a leaf on her foot. It hurts though. And breaks up all the ink. I don't think. A big black and white heart dick. I bet we're talking find Google eagle with human dick.

1:35:55 you it's out there. and I circulate. Yes, I'll throw in $1,000 as well. And a dick that looks like a bodybuilder's forearm. I bet quite a few. The guy's like, Joe, it'll be cool. You escaped the, you had no- I think that's pretty fair. So what? Here's the video. Yeah, just the way the guy moved in. Look at his face. It's a horrible story. Damn, dude.

1:39:24 He only had to like serve a little bit or something. He had to mop the jail. Yeah, fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. I mean, I think that guy got off, didn't he? I hope he did. He only had to like serve Dude. Are you fucking kidding me? We haven't had a Revenge Grandma. you're going to love that movie. When I was just like, it was right after, it was like during the pandemic, I'd gained a ton of fucking weight.

1:41:11 want to write an action movie when i take i'm after the special comes out which is you know Lady Snowblood's good shit, dude. It's fucking awesome. What's Hard Boiled? I'm going to watch so many Revenge and Assassin movies. this hard-boiled so sick dude yeah there's something about a good revenge movie man uh-oh And that fight scene, the fucking, that middle fight scene in fucking Florida.

1:43:46 There's also no moments in that movie where you're like, get the fuck out of here. with his internal monologue, and he fucking looks great. But it is the revenge factor of if they hadn't hurt his, you know, if they hadn't hurt his girl. Well, that's Tony Soprano. It's like, this guy who's cool, even though he's bad, they hurt somebody good and he's

1:45:17 It's like, yeah, he's getting pussy. Right, right, right. And the scene where fucking Carmela goes to the therapist and he's just like cuz she's always been in like want to lose my life She was just trying to Because I'm also That's not fake here Murder Machine is terrifying. and I remember I read it on the road. I used to train a guy who was a hitman for whitey bulger. Whoa, what the fuck? Yeah, I taught him. That's crazy

1:48:35 Comedian friend of mine. Okay. And he said, I think so, too. The problem is you're hitting it, and then you're bouncing off it. How old were you? I had all the time in the world now. That's all I was doing. It was like an elite gym. And as we were coming home, we were waiting to get on the T. and as i was walking up the stairs i caught at the perfect moment one of the best guys in the world

1:51:26 And I remember watching it going, this is insane. And I'm looking at this dude and I said, I want to know how to do that. And everybody who fought him, there was always a moment you had to wonder if he's going to spin. and this like i know he was a hitman what did what did the guy look like that was that's the place That's the way I I walked up those stairs

1:53:09 That's awesome. You're also a kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. it was a waste of time. Well, there was no money in this thing that I was obsessed with. knows what the fuck's going on sort of she was off by a lot okay also Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow, and she was just learning karate. Yeah, she's learning taekwondo and then you struck it up She wasn't a mom. Oh, just a girl.

1:56:11 I see. Yeah, when I first moved to New York, I was 24 and I fucked a girl you didn't do a great job. That's amazing. how often do you pee you also gotta right they're probably hydrated. She didn't seem hydrated. You make your own thing. I guess I haven't tasted it. All right. You're not a, wait a minute. and is it really just pee? Big piss money Although a marginal

1:59:06 acceptable for everyone to discuss the exact same goddamn thing. But if it's the same thing, if it's the same thing, why is pussy juice offensive? Right. Right, if you were talking to a doctor and the doctor was saying, you got a problem with He's like, oh yeah, your pH is fucked up. You absolutely need someone to use words. whether squirting liquid contains pee

2:00:49 Researchers performed a chemical analysis of squirting liquid. What did he do? Some guy just bowing. they're aroused, squirting involves a clear and odorless fluid, a.k.a. imagine if you're a lady and you're a squirting 50 milliliters of blue dye saline Kaizen, I have been fingering in the mountains for decades. Fingers and penis. in videos that captured the experiment.

2:03:10 They paid a guy to fuck the piss out of these girls. That is wild. out like a geyser. There's probably detectable Maybe a couple of those. I actually, no. Now that we're thinking about it, and she was not hydrated. And then I got like, Did she blast on you? depends on when Perfect features. away with if you live in a country job? Did he have to audition?

2:06:17 probably was recorded and put out This guy, you're going to have him finger banging these women and fuck the shit out But meanwhile, they're just peeing on guys. I mean, if they forced the women to have sex with some gross guy. Let's go. Let me see this. This is the collection cup. First of all, that has not been my experience. Oh, wow. The fucking nurse.

2:08:24 This is fucking... Science. Science. I'm not hard at all, honestly. They can tell it's not porn, though, because it's not blurred. You're right. This is fucking... This is insane. That is so crazy. That's what girls do if they were peeing. I know you do That did this they ran up the flagpole in the fucking Jamie, will you send me that article? He only fucks them once.

2:10:31 The involuntary reaction. Listen, like I said, I've been very upfront with having disgusting squirt in my mouth. No, I've never encountered it. Interesting. That's true. Well, they know more now, these children. Yeah, and girls didn't shave. didn't have they didn't have a piss study so this magical piss study from Japan. Really? We needed the orient.

2:12:33 Like, no one talked about it. I'm not drinking piss. Cannot be consumed. The empire's over, you pieces of shit. I would say, what if the squirt. Can we make a compromise? Perhaps. I would say, Kill him! But because it's done in Japan, I'm like, oh, they probably followed the rules. But if I found out it came out of Cincinnati, I'm like, oh, what a fucking freak.

2:15:02 Kinsey. It wasn't a documentary. Coming from who? female sexuality. You can't you're lying You gonna be the one guy that doesn't get your dick sucked? No. And it became, if it's acceptable, it's way more convenient. There's no way around it. Bro, why do you think pirates dress like that? which does not originate in the bladder. No. It's only happened five times

2:18:21 This is the only way Now, this is bullshit. This fluid was analyzed and also confirmed to be mostly urine This guy's got a fucking radar machine up his ass. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you're a fucking weirdo. I'm never you didn't even hold it in. Yeah told it in man Everybody, fuck you. Institute of Urology. You're right. It's in the International Journal of Urology.

2:21:06 You can work here. It was something Japan Institute of Urology or something like that, wasn't it? Oh, we have to have access. There's a lot of people who want to believe in leprechauns, like I'm telling you. Yeah. Interesting. Because just what they've found with people recovering, And if you're worried about abuse, I get it. I get the worry about abuse, but then we need to

2:23:34 I think they're starting to, I mean, I've seen, I think there are some- But Newsom, even though I don't agree with him on most things, I actually saw his point. And he felt like it should be decriminalized with information. It's like the fresh ones. It's a mushrooms town, Asheville. I haven't been there for 10 years, but it felt like a real hippie town.

2:25:18 Are those people like service workers? That's unemployment. And the idea is you never have to worry about food. Would they figure out a path in life and how many people get tripped up? I don't think there's anything wrong with having a social safety net. Let's do that instead of tanks. even if your job is kind of bullshit, I think people would feel better if they had something that they did that gave them a sense of purpose, whatever it is. And I think that trying to find that thing and be

2:28:16 a lot of people wouldn't do shit. super rare. No, you're right about that. hard as shit to barely make it. with you that kind of the middle ground is get their basic needs met and then let them be able money i was like oh this is wild i mean but some of that also is that they were like because my Yeah. They ramped up pay everywhere. They advertise high pay, places like McDonald's.

2:30:54 21 to 21. That's probably like Inflation from that same job in 1970. the government is giving so much money to all these immigrants that have illegally migrated And I'm like, wow, this is wild to see. But that's what it's like. That's what I think they're doing. try to make it so that if you weren't My dad straight can't vote and he's been here, you know, 40 years or 50, yeah, 40 something years.

2:34:02 Well, they're permanent legal residents. I mean, some people, like I said, I don't think my dad is ever going to become a citizen. Legal, legal. Age and residency requirements. not national elections especially if you're not politically savvy But the thing is, it's like if you wanted the laws on voting to be more lax and you wanted citizens that are here, but they're not legal.

2:35:42 That's always been the thing. You can't vote for fucking president. Here's a better argument. Why don't you make them citizens? to green card. Sit the guy down. Is he cool? I mean, this is his recollection, but he was not doing great in the whatever point. the geopolitical lottery yeah it's fucking sick! Fuck yeah! And then it's like, His family were,

2:37:41 Like he grew up there. Otherwise you get spies that just come over here from Russia and become citizens and run for president. Yeah, no, that's true. But even though he's a citizen, Yeah, but that, obviously. In the 30s, we really wanted pineapples. Have it. They've got New York for like $9. what they're talking about. you know, Okay, Yeah, whatever, dude.

2:40:04 You're going to starve here. And what did they call it? tattoo artist's face? No. Yeah, that's fake as shit. But she's also... Oh, that's like the SNL sketch where they were all throwing up with the tube out of their fucking wrist. We're talking about a fucking... Well, they got me. There's a lot of that, bro. I mean, there's a video that goes around, I feel like, every day that everybody ends

2:42:27 And by the way, before we close, I just want to Hey. Hell yeah. Look on Twitter, type in drive-by. This guy's still fighting. They're still shooting. No. You can't see That sucks, dude. Oh, my God, dude. No. Oh, my God. because of fucking these cameras and shit and cell phones. My Instagram is purely like girls with huge tits stretching. So we did it last time if anybody's around.

2:45:45 I've had enough big dick in my life. Fat Rascal. I appreciate you.