Joe Rogan Experience #2086 — Jim Norton Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. is very short clips that I found Yeah, that's anti-Semitic. and they were hanging out I have no idea. I have no idea. The cops had to get them out. Like, they they were like we don't want to come out and nice tunnels either. the tunnels are so big some of them are saying Was it yesterday? It's probably that guy complaining.

2:35 and what are they doing down there, fucking building on you. and it doesn't even stand out that much. Yeah. Isn't it interesting, like, you build on top of a building, it's no big deal. everyone was against what they did, but as soon as people saw the handcuffs, So how did they call was for it. I was going to switch to a different Officials and locals said

5:04 as police moved in to make arrests. I saw that. It's a joke. I don't know if it's real. Everybody fucking hates each other. You know, I don't think it's logical. social media has made everybody way more insane and it's not going to get any better it's only I know it's fake. Isn't that awesome? people if you're not tech savvy and you don't understand that this is probably a man on the

8:08 by a computer. Yeah, to get a regular job? and pull her out of there and she's making $57 million, Wait a minute. $10 million in just tips. I mean, her main thing is she came over from like Twitch. Once in a while, Yeah, and then they're as any other attractive woman And it's like you're confident and you know you're good-looking, He's hilarious. Well, anything disingenuous, people sniff it out.

10:50 I'm very comfortable with it, and it's like if it's almost like on stage if you're okay with it people are okay with it And nobody judged you. But it's like, but it's because you are who you are. because when people try to be perfect, So it kind of tipped me like, yeah, of it. And I talked about it, and just being honest and telling your story and also you're accepted by everybody like nobody's nobody

13:19 Well, that's what's so bizarre. There's a lot of them, or if you're a, you like tall guys, you know, talk about liking black women or if you're a you like tall guys you know talk about liking tall it's like why are you not Like Bill had been on me for years. And then I would drive up to Canada every weekend to see her. I jumped in the car. And it was great.

16:03 And they're like, we don't know where we're going to allow you. So how did you do it? So you just had a dedicated ISDN line. lived with anybody. Yeah, it was, Chip Chipperson, your character. thing, this laugh thing, and you had to vote Chip But she filmed all of it. Like, how bizarre do you think my life is Dude, it's so hard. Thank you. Like, I'm really grateful for it. As much as it was agony for the whole planet,

19:16 Yeah. to be with right um and we're doing a youtube channel and it's like the thing i like about it You know what I mean? have a message like you don't even have to be that good but if you if you're like barely mediocre There's like some dunce, but there's a very clear message in the zeitgeist Right. And in the write-up I did about like what I wanted the show to possibly be.

22:17 But don't, oh, it's, oh my gosh, And they're not truly allies. And you're like, this is wild. Yeah. Yeah. Now, if you were a computer when you do that too You don't follow them who gives a shit what they're saying like I catch myself wanting to respond angrily all the time completely ignoring the context of what it is. Like right after 9-11, I remember getting smashed on message boards for a 9-11 joke.

26:22 It has nothing to do with me. mildly mentally ill who are obsessed with arguing with people online, and you're interacting with those people. They're also the people that like me, though. I don't know where they're from, but it's like, why does this person fixate on talking to me? Yeah. Doesn't have any memory of it. Thank God you didn't pick up your phone

28:19 a sleep study just to help So you only did it once? you're like, at 3 in the morning who don't know who he is just every one of them is just very awkward. Okay, listen. This is Andrew. This is what makes him laugh. That's the purest form of dice. This is Andrew. I don't even know who you are, sir. It's, Like he doesn't give a fuck. else to all of a sudden you're on Rodney Dangerfield's HBO show which blew him up to all

31:57 material. First of all, a double album, and was having a great time and it was just so many great, And the guy was so mad. night, there's nobody there. like, And then at that moment, Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Dangerfields. If somebody came in, I've been on there with two people before to watch where he goes. Day of the Laughter died part two.

34:29 It might have been a single album. This is what you have to understand. When you're just starting to make it, you're so fixated on making sure that it doesn't fall apart. fuck this up where they're going to realize i don't deserve this success and take it right and It wasn't I, something you can criticize, Oh, the whole audience is doing it with him.

36:19 People which the I can't think of any other stand-up. It's ever had that never It's like this bizarre guy likes to wear gigantic grandma glasses. besides the jokes he always gets a sore throat ah it's gonna be nothing so I love him. it built my confidence. When I was, from that era, Nope. But having to see Kennison live, and unfortunately I saw Kennison live when it had already kind of fall apart.

38:33 I don't remember the name of it. milk with a missing kid thing oh okay um that one's amazing that one's amazing and then a year Yeah, because you don't have time to develop it. And I mean, he just fucking blew the roof off. Because I saw him once when I worked at this place. No. But if you go and listen to some of the stuff that he released before he died,

41:13 already out of shape he's already overweight and now he's doing a lot of blow so he's just getting It's kind of hard to go. All right now the ones afterwards drop off but the best example that in my opinion is Jim here has never been married? Yeah, I go back and find some of his old stuff. I was just noticing how calm he is when he's talking no overselling and then he's screaming he could go from zero to a hundred

44:16 See that, how tired he looks there? Like, you've gone off the rails, sir. When you start to think that an open vest on stage that you're this larger than life guy you They wear like slacks and a jacket and a shirt or something like that or But like you said, You get something different than you're getting funny. I can only look at my own because what they were really trying to do is get a sitcom.

46:48 That was, you know, in this business? How many fucking Podcasts or on radio shows so we'll vote was done. This is like our thing is so different than the thing of this I've just felt like that's not the path for me. And none of them were, quote, unquote, the business or television. freeing because it's really just something that i love and I just get to describe it and talk about it.

49:39 They have creative input and they're not particularly creative. You said, I have this thing I want to talk about. They'd say, what is Monster Rain? You slow news days And then Opie and Anthony comes along and Opie and Anthony is the next stage because they have a different Yeah, yeah, absolutely. But for the last X amount of years, I haven't been allowed to do my own.

52:19 if you're just doing a show that you're putting together yourself. And talk to people I like. The business is full of shit. I have no desire to act. I will probably never get another acting gig on TV, I'd have a ton of different careers it miserable but in an acting scene it's like you just have to redo it or you can't break it and go Like, I'm self-conscious around my friends.

54:51 I tried at one point, you know early on I was like so beloved like an American institution in the sitcom that i'm aware of it used to be there was a ton of them and i would have thought Yeah. So the writing didn't have to be good. I hated the laugh track. and it's a really funny show the show to a live audience and record So you'd try to come up with something or he would just improv something crazy.

58:16 Yeah. But yeah, I feel terrible doing this say like some guys when they do a stand-up special like I've never done a So you're just trying to interact with these people the best way possible to get the story You're watching it be created. by seeing the same thing over again. But once in a while, if I sit in the seat where the audience is here, it's so hard to

1:00:56 normal in a in an environment where everyone knows it's fake yeah you're and you're not worried about not don't have to exist in it. And again, it has nothing the crowd, they had never seen any of the episodes. but it's one of the most fun things I ever did. even though it had a lot of viewers, by not at least giving it season two. And HBO was the first ones getting awards.

1:03:22 I don't think it's that. I mean, how many, how many comedy shows like that are with comics are on the air now? Yeah. I mean, how many comedy shows like that with comics are on the air now? Even if I love them, I can't watch it. even if I'm walking through and I see Colin on stage, I'll watch or tell. clip-based. Is it movies? I probably forgot most of it.

1:05:29 But it's most of the shit people do. He's the French Spider-Man I bet that wind can get under your stomach. If you go to Alain Robert, A-L-A-I-N, I think on Instagram, his Instagram showed it, where Oh, yeah. Yeah. All of his videos are like that. Get down. No, no, no, he doesn't. Yeah. He's hanging on with like one finger. It says soon there will be 50 years that I've been climbing free solo.

1:09:08 Sometimes he turns around and looks down. cam. Didn't some guy fall recently? He can't make it up, and he just lets go. Worked in this office and this lady was always trying to get him skydive with him Good for him saying no. Yeah. They said high winds and I'm like, it's going to be a bad and climb. Alex Honnold is one of the oddest guys I think I've ever met.

1:11:30 some of that yeah he's climbed a lot of them all over the world but it's just the the act of doing axes. Because like and he's digging into this ice and hoping it hangs on there while he's climbing his way. Did you see the icicles? Is he dead or alive? No, he just got. Yeah. medic he said the baseline normal i think was the term he used it was something it was something

1:14:29 talk to people that you just want to have fun with just like comics you could say anything to them Tough crowd. Nobody treats him any differently. us laugh yeah and it's also the way we feed off each other we spar and it gets everybody better Like we'll be at the cellar sometimes and I'll say something I think makes sense, you should think that's funny.

1:17:01 he's talking like an Australian tour guide? I can't be in a relationship with someone who isn't like that, who doesn't appreciate that. So work when you have to work somewhere most of the time you don't you don't get to choose the people you work with the company doesn't get sued. Yep, that's it. Or any opportunity for someone to just be deceitful.

1:18:53 There's no. Like, it was funny. fishy weird guy um and then he just continued to sue me and it finally went away I had a great Roy, he was going to, I didn't tell you. He's like, it'll just be me against the three hosts fighting. That guy literally wanted to murder me. guy right like i read what type of You know, I don't know because it was years later and it was also, he had this thing with women.

1:23:05 Because it's like, it wasn't the principle of Columbia doing this. It it was like you just have a fucking hard-on and want to sue women so then we they, Yes. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Because again, do I think he would have hunted me down He went to kill her and just, unfortunately, her son answered the door. you better watch your back or talk about getting shot.

1:24:56 But I eventually stopped reading it or responding to it because the thing about the ONA show, though, it was a very aggressive show. really funny like they would do some really happen for a day though you'd be in and out for a day they'd put all these horrible things on their what did you say to them when you were in the studio And he goes, hey, you jock-tobered these people,

1:26:44 And whenever you talk to someone one-on-one, making fun of something. They were one of those shows that made it through They were. If you wanted to be big in the Midwest, I don't know. That's exactly what it is. But they don't. So the app, it's just like having Spotify or something like that. I mean, I think the app is free. Oh, is it? How much longer do you think Howard's going to do it?

1:30:28 Like Artie does heroin and he and I were getting here Yeah, we never, I never did his show He wants to talk to, like, I guess at this point he just wants to do certain interviews. And And it opened up the door for all of us funny and you'd go into areas hair looked like. where Wednesdays girls would pull their tits out. and the stickers would say wow on it.

1:33:30 I unfortunately did not get to see many driving, but I had to hear from happy happy listeners But it was that kind of a show that was like a welcome break from all the fake bullshit that you would hear on Is that because they were scared of you guys? probably not letting you do that Oh, yeah. doesn't work with my schedule. It's more tiring than anything I've ever done in my life. That's great to hear, man. I'm excited that you're doing it. And it's exhausting. It's more tiring than anything I've ever done in my life.

1:35:39 Doesn't mean you're gonna use it. One of the best things about jiu-jitsu is Right. uh arm around my neck when i was in the green room and i tucked my chin like instantly tucked You know, like, it's in my central nervous system. that's what I want to get to. he'll have me drill from the left side And when I first started, I was like a blue belt, and Eddie, I think he was a brown.

1:38:45 yourself to move train yourself to move when you're tired um does your nose work uh my nose If he's getting out of things, do I know what the next thing to do is? a language. Jiu-Jitsu is very much like a language and you get good at it, just like you get good at throw your knee into his face like things that you'll need to do in real life uh but when he

1:41:06 But I'm never gonna be great at that like I'm never gonna throw kicks like fucking follow Martin and move I feel like yeah I'm actually moving with him and most of the time I think I was just – sometimes my kicks are off. Find a way to work around it. I'm still not confident enough to have a fight with somebody. And you get used to the smell of a jujitsu gym pretty fast.

1:43:48 If you have a tumor, will it make that grow What is it called? helps produce testosterone and sperm. You know, if you're scared of cancer you should stop eating sugar yeah i've tried to But what I wanted them to do, to try it for a month, if you are committing to only eating meat and eggs and fish for a month, sugar so duncan gets off the diabetes and he gets off the sugar

1:46:59 you out and kill you when you eat it. It's a poison that if you keep eating it, it's going to diminish your robustness. It's going to diminish of them. 100% of them. through it it was because your head is fucking yeah i've done mris oh doesn't bother you to be metal stuff against it. Dude, they put music on and I was fucking having a panic attack. It goes off, shooting her in the buttocks.

1:49:16 Well, she wanted to fucking shoot somebody, but also Fucking crazy lady. According to the New York Post, a Brazilian lawyer was killed in a hospital in Sao Paulo and a hospital bed drawn to the machine. than fucking magnets an anal probe. I'm trying to believe. No. Okay, let's just say it's aliens. Let's get Mike over there. High-level military secrets that are of dire national intelligence

1:52:53 That's why I wanted to, like, And it only makes sense that it's out there near where all the military bases are. So there's things they might not tell those guys that they're doing. They upgraded all the scanning systems. Now you know. and they were responding to things that Mick West but I still I was like I watched Yeah. Or it was telling them that it knew where they were supposed to go.

1:55:47 I don't think they're lying, by the way. Which one do you think? Yeah. That seems to be a little weird And I think people do stuff like that all the time when it comes to, like, these UFO sightings. let me tell you what I saw. And they tell you Exactly. There's also this thing where people That one's wild cuz that guy was missing for five days or however many days it was and turns up and has this story

1:59:00 have to go back they get like a mile down the road and they finally they're like fighting with He talked about the different kinds of beings that he encountered. and maybe in that near-death experience, and brought to some place maybe But it might just be that you got to death's door. You laid there and almost died and went into Yeah, it's a better story.

2:01:31 Was that New Hampshire? I've heard there was disputes about how much of their story they told it was the same, And we don't know what the fuck happened. Yeah, we look at our watch and it's the same day that we left. And it's only an hour later. And we think we've what the fuck happened. But we know we were talking and then all of a sudden we were gone. Yeah, we look at our watch and it's the same day that we left and it's only an hour later and we think we've been gone for days.

2:02:57 i fucking blinked a lot and i complained about how high we were and i got nauseous it would be I think we're trying to look at it like a movie. that's undocumented. You can't just tell everybody you have this thing. that something would be very curious about what's going on in other planets and would figure out a way to get there. follow it like for her it makes perfect sense

2:05:19 conversation because it's like it sounds so fake yeah that you would always wonder like how would It depends on who the person is. Yes. he wasn't fucking with you, I would think that they were making a mistake or that they believe something that wasn't true. Yeah. Yeah in, something so bizarre that it's actually interacting with your very soul, I liked the movie.

2:07:34 Books on tape can be irritating when the wrong gender is reading. would be i also think they'd be better if they had both like like together like i don't know why I can't do it. I just can't. That, to me, seems like if we were about to launch some nukes, maybe. He goes, show me the math. How? that's his lane though, right? How good is AI going to be?

2:10:36 It'll be great for catching pedophiles. There might not be. it is just kind of let these idiots fuck themselves up been proven wrong too well with artificial intelligence it's not even a um it said i'm vision impaired so the ai figured a way around that by deceiving Then it's going to do that. and this is getting very bad and very dangerous. I guess because I'm 55, I don't worry too who invented it, aren't they all saying that too? The AI guys are like, it's a problem and this is getting very bad and very dangerous.

2:13:51 We'll take a little break and we'll be back. Yeah, but I just can't. And of course I didn't mean to do it. Ari has pissed into kombucha bottles in this room. he just pulled down his pants, and his dick and his balls were out, It is funny. Raising nuts. and I did the test and they, one of the things into your life Working out to warm up. but I mean,

2:17:06 think you're thinking about psychological things that you can control and i think what you should when people don't have to be burdened by it on the air. You want to be as healthy as possible, even if he wanted to. But that's what I really want Matt to show me something. It's like if I was friends with somebody for ten years and then they said hey you want to come watch me do stand-up i'm like no yeah but he he um teaches white belts that's what he

2:19:28 but what you're doing in that moment. I didn't think about a fucking thing things that can do that for you i bet that's what that climbing thing is like i bet that's one of like it was just crazy. It's a fascinating conversation because everyone's like, well, you would never want your daughter or your mother or your sister to be a prostitute, right?

2:20:59 Yeah. Right, yeah. Yeah. Like, that's what it is. What are you showing me, Jamie? They decriminalized it in Manhattan, maybe, in 2021. In this article, it says something just like that. How do they have this fucking going on in broad daylight? Maybe her mom works there. The Roosevelt Avenue red light district is blatantly advertised on a YouTube channel for Spanish speakers

2:24:45 That's going to be loud noises, so let's find. Imagine how many more people would come in and see your baseball hats and socks on their way in like this only neighborhood is wild Jamie that they were talking about that advertises Oh, they run away from the cameras. The New York City Red Light District. That's probably some hidden camera You're probably always being filmed

2:26:50 of room to move around it either in that room no no and the cameras scare me like there's probably They would give you video and audio. But this was an idea that I had read that they thought would eventually come to fruition. tiny, they look like a I have one in my, when you walk and I saw some guy come is this? And it was me. I think you need a better camera.

2:29:36 you're never going to get a good description of them. Yeah, but the cameras are, look, I feel safer with them at night. Yeah, that's what I was talking about, you know there's ring cameras I don't think I'm fucking spying on him but they ring has this thing Oh, wow. They show this lady's, let me get to the video where it's showing it, Yeah. part of your air conditioning.

2:32:06 like the food that's in your fridge. It was square. There's the thing Jim was talking about. I think it's good for five minutes an hour. Yeah. Dude, that's fucking dope. and then gives you a recipe It's got RX bars in it and, like, bananas and some fruit. Like, I just want to go in and get some shit. It's real food. But I bet if I ate there every day, I'd have a big fat face.

2:34:53 He did chip one time, and he brought fucking sandwiches, and they were actually very tasty. i fucking and they would send us us coupons and free stuff. Within reason. to do and then just eat, then you'll track. But I gave myself one day and I felt like fucking total dog shit after it was over You fat fuck. but I can't unsee it. you know it's humili yeah but I love her for

2:37:56 Yeah, and showed my wife just mad at me a gentleman's red velvet jacket. Maybe 15 more pounds. Do you have a plan they have like it written out? It's hardest for me when I'm tired. Because again, it's that fucking Dopamine drip Jerk off diet And then back to New York tomorrow And at Nicky and Jim NYC is our YouTube channel if you want to see my wife and I just kind

2:39:49 I know. It's not a good, on the phone it looks even worse because it's just my fucking, it's just my head. And I'll see you tonight.