Joe Rogan Experience #2116 — Kevin James Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience I'd be on the side of the stage yelling out shimmy. Well, when we first started, by the way, Stitches. It was the greatest, the greatest place to go. I think I met you in, what is it, 90? Do you know what I'm talking about? I was just that straight thing there and you came into town and we were like, who is this dude? I They sense fear.

3:00 That's right. You're always insanely intense and just never look back. You're right. By the way, do you remember the beer we would drink? Back when it was, I think it's gone under. in the 90s, there was this thing that was happening where everybody looked at a comedian 100%. You have one thing, one set that pops and people talking about, there's a buzz.

5:18 Yes. He just tricked everybody. When it first starts happening, you think it's gonna go away. Do you really? Yeah, I do. I just ignore it. I told the shut the fuck up But if I do a club that they don't know me or something, Everybody, it's in a lobby of a hotel and I'm like, I thought this was in the theater. me, so she brought me in for all her friends to see, dude, I'm sitting in the lobby and

7:30 It's in the lobby. I'm talking to Skylar, my assistant buddy. It's just not gonna go well. I don't wanna do this anymore, I don't wanna do it. You're gone for an hour. And then I went into another joke very gingerly, just kind of going to the set. And they laughed I've gone through those. I'm like, you, but when you're playing music, it's different. Yeah,

10:09 But like, you know, all of a sudden they were like, It's I'm going around with a tree. Yeah,, like you guys funny He's like I don't care So you know like where the watermark is right until you see a guy jump in front of a fucking 40th birthday party You know me if I'm left to my own devices. I am. You know me. You know me. You know me. If I'm left to my own devices, I go into a little hole.

12:12 Like I have, I'm playing my first arena coming up and I'm freaking out. They're still great. The arenas are great. They're fun. It's a wild experience It's it's market that big guy is my marker. Yeah, the one in Phoenix spins around too. What's that the celebrity theater? Well, you have giant screens. Fucking this is a guy doesn't overthink things.

14:19 I go, you'll be up in five minutes. And then I'm flashing the light, and he sees Dave. It was, I filmed it. mic out it was insane it was insane it was so fucking cool cuz he's from Ohio And everybody just kinda walks around. It's an experience No I'd be afraid because you got such heavy hitters And you know, it's all just, it's all great. Mondays and Sundays which are open mic lines so open mic night

19:24 The little one is like A lot of guys go up with no pads. oh, this is so new. Yeah, you just start talking shit. Oh, man. Which is like, you know, you can see something coming. Have you ever had a dick, and I go up there and they go nuts for like a minute It's a good place to start comedy. New York Yeah. Because that's my problem. Like if I ever get to that place

23:39 You it loses its luster, but that's just a mental weakness And it's not like you're faking it either. too much stuff, and I didn't rehearse it like, because words are so efficient. You'd say one I can always talk about And every time I would bring up a new subject, it was like the audience is starting from It's like you're not starting a, you know,

26:34 and it would be like, it would work, you get to laugh, Who's the guy? Yeah, amazing. One subject to the next. It was part of the fun. guy like he just didn't want to kick heroin yeah they were trying to get him But what a curse what a curse when you someone who gets caught in the opiate web, What a talent. Yeah, and it'd be different like that and yeah, and you're in the middle of Ohio or right?

30:09 Way, way, way easier. Yeah. you know yeah, and because that way they don't have to crowd work, He's really good at it. But some of these guys are only good at talking to the audience. Like there's certain guys that like their thing is really just talking to the crowd. get in and ask a question or hack a little or anything you know you build this shell around you so like it's

32:56 It's a great tool to have. I wish I could, you know, it depended on them. Do you talk It was just you need to learn how to do it in the fire tough enough that way like you you build a you you You know, like, that's the death. They always killed. They would kill and you could follow him. Yep. You know, no, no the guy with the guitar always ruined the show

34:59 John Valby? You would light up a room. And everybody would go, He was just like, but he had that following of people be there anymore yeah that is just not the same experience it's tough yeah yeah You know what I'm saying? I love stand up so much. Just doing this. You were, we, I remember jumping in your get fired this is this is the last TV show I ever worked I almost got fired

38:31 They hired some new producer and he wrote these terrible lines. They wrote for Married with Children. they wrote for the Simpsons right and So they hired a new producer. The new producer came in and took over and turned it into like this. You didn't- Oh, it was exhausting. No, that was a party did the writers were great. It was totally different kind of experience right, but

41:21 They're changing you. They're changing you. Then I realized, like, oh, I've been slacking off. That's what I realized, oh, I've been slacking off. I sit down in front of a computer and I just write. No. I just type. Really? Because I'm not with that. It blocks everything else out. And then I'll go, I don't like this, that it boiled down, then I put it in the columns.

43:41 And it was like, it was annoying. You can't, it either goes alphabetical. That's the only thing about it. And then I'm off that one and I'm looking five more hours Yeah, most comics don't use them. Eligible yeah, and there's no order to them. There's just stacks. I mean he might how many how many to have in his pocket How do you do it? I'm worried about back

46:13 I admire that. not a few of them, like a lot of them. Like some of my best bits ever came from sitting theaters they would just use Kevin James rider so when I would because we're because we're on the same manager, yes, we're the same manager. I was like, oh, that's a great idea. dotting all your eyes and crossing all your teeth so I feel good when I I don't

48:12 Okay, this is what you're gonna get. That is the top of the food chain alpha brain, the strongest one. Like, I try all these fucking shit, bullshit. Creatine. And it's one of the reasons why me it makes your muscles look bigger it makes you stronger Get to the course, you know you walk around hills up and down all day That's brutal. So he goes, and just take three and tell me how you feel in a few hours or whatever it

50:46 I was literally pummeling with DC. He goes, I love, like, I want to know, I know nothing. I want to... Just mark how you feel if you have any pain. Whatever it is. Yeah, I'll find out from him I want to give it to my family because I wanted to feel better. or I'm wearing cardigan sweaters and literally, He's awesome. he goes, you can't outwork a bad diet.

53:45 crush food and that one day would just destroy it for the rest. It all comes from food and we're all addicted to food. And I can't, I just, I can't, because he's given me the diets, Dolce, you know, just and but He's given me the meals. is a great diet, I'm not saying this is the way to live. Your body will hit a level and you go, I'm going to keep going.

56:58 say blueberry, you know, carbs, he's like, carbs are fine for you, like the right carbs. to other people and trying to, like, just say, get better than yourself yesterday. So it's like I'm the guy who walks up to the bag hits the bag a couple times then walks out look at this thing It's jujitsu, you're grabbing the ring, this is great. You got to get that like you I saw you were doing this with the other comedians which I love

59:31 Right. But I don't, I quit things too. I you know, I'm trying to you know Because that was the first thing I ever did in my life and being just a different human being. You know, there was one day dude one day when I was coming home from a baseball game where I walked up the stairs and as I was going up the stairs, I was hearing, what the fuck is that?

1:03:10 go back again. Obviously I don't love the mornings, getting the geek, and I'm nervous and my way, so I stop, And then I'm like, ah. You've overcome that. And the other guy that's like, no, this is what you need to do. That's literally saying I'm not gonna go where I'm comfortable. I'm gonna you know, I'd much rather do this I'm afraid of flying, but I'm like,

1:06:10 And the boss has to win a bunch of battles. I'm like, let's not do this. Or just young men in general Everyone's gonna fall into a, like, Actually be that person. Fucking move here. Move here. It really is great here. The people are so friendly. The way they treat like freedom here is like a religion. Freedom People have giraffes. Like they go, and it's great this that

1:10:01 lives here, Tim Dillon lives here, he's got a house. He's got multiple houses. He lives everywhere I really, because I need the hype man. It's like those guys are so tight. Marab, this is the funniest thing ever. anything. I get the headgear on, he doesn't recognize me as an actor. And he starts going, And to say, I take it off, I go, I'm an actor, man.

1:12:27 It's Henry Sohootto. That's an Olympic gold medalist and you're carrying him around like he's a kid enough schoolyard Two division UFC champion, he won the flyweight medal, Now I can say I spar with that guy. Wednesday night shows at the store. And then I started looking. It's a real community now. Like you go into that green room and there's like fucking 20

1:15:13 so much fun. I've been that for years that's the guy you know I miss it man I really do come He's a bear. When I met Boss, I remember, And then I was like, whoa, man, we can get this guy And they were, I'm talking to him you just looking at me and I ran out of conversation I ran out of conversation Pencrace, they'd you'd have to hit with the palms and boss figured out that instead of bitch slapping people you just

1:18:20 He's a real freak. And, you know, we would start on our knees and stuff like that. Really? Dude, I'm. Guarantee if you're having that kind of an experience with them. They do something. I wish I knew what they were No, no, no. Yeah. How's that possible? I'm a young guy. I'm always a young still young yeah, that's exactly it But they say you're only as happy as your least happy kid, right?

1:21:01 And you know, it's not easy for kids. Like, what happened? It is a very, very, very tough ride with new challenges And you know, I remember, I mean, it was so scary for me that I had to lay on her at And you know, where it was coming from. this way. He was, I know what this is. He was, it's okay. And I'm like, whoa, it blew my mind, man. He's great.

1:24:31 And turn her into a zombie. into the motor, you know, whatever is so fascinating it's it is and he's another anything that's been, like he throws out a majority of it, Really, okay. I'm interested. I give it to you. Really? Okay. I'm interested I mean, I literally copied and pasted and Googled, I know nothing. Yeah. Yes. Herbs work. Yeah. I shot a movie two years ago where I play an exorcist priest, and I wanted it

1:28:34 Either right in that this priest got stung by a bee and just swelled up to or or I gotta get in shape for it I could fast and lose it. That sounds so less than a month. I could do it. Yeah 50 pounds um 41 days. I'm going to start fasting right now. And I went and I talked to my daughter. you know just do it but it's amazing how your body you don't need it you don't

1:31:18 short-term fasting well they but if you're big and you can do it why not I went to pizza university which is a university to learn how to make pizzas and I didn't even eat I forgot I had booked it With their health with you know, it is what you were talking about We're made for that community. Right. Yeah, it's a great place to live. I look here in Florida and you know, yeah

1:34:08 That was so cool. Look, I bought my first house. Yeah, but that's what I like. I was like, God damn it. and if you don't get out now, you're gonna get stuck We're in the right spot. Like these people can become a real problem because they can tell you you have to close house like 30 days in a row. That was the big one. I love being here. I love living in Austin. It's a good city. I was like, damn, it sounds like a good fucking city.

1:37:22 They're great friends. I'm on you know, it's it's it's it's it's it's very right wing. Yeah, it's different. Yeah, it's most more families. Mm-hmm. Yeah much more normal warehouse and started rebuilding it and just got, you know, in over his head with stuff. That was another move, like, oh my God, making that move to the city. Boston Comedy Club? I was so nervous.

1:39:43 I knew Richard Belzer had performed there Like you can trick all those losers Well, the club the clubs in New York, there was so many of them Boston Comedy Club. Yeah danger fields There's no crowd. Yes. Like what? You know, back then you were like, am I going to be a real professional or is this just I hated it. It was so hot and I'm like miserable and I'm doing like one like I'm doing an improv class and like a

1:42:14 while you're struggling. Which is like, you're not really making much money. There was guys who were like headliners. I think back then, even more so than it's a problem now it was way more of a problem They would backstab each other. Did you have a group of guys in Boston around you like when you first started or no was it just you me and Fitz Emons were always tight

1:44:12 Just do open mics. Doing it it makes it way easier get more people to watch it. No one, there was no negative, like of all the people that I ever had on my podcast that It helps everybody. The back of the day I felt like I had my brother Gary and Rock and Adam Ferrara and Richie I hated that. You build me up. and I was like, you gotta bring shimmy out.

1:47:21 Well sometimes your special quality and the lock cancels out with a girl grab my hand. you gotta go shimmy. It was awesome. They'll say, like, Tony, last night, And you're like, ooh, I like it. It's a comfort level. You would give me these things I remember one time we were at one of the improv's, Because again, you my own captain I go off the rails. I'll start overthinking things and it's like you know

1:50:26 I need it. It must be like, you know where I take over and I know better and I got to switch camps and do all this stuff you're like, I don't want to be uncomfortable anymore. I did all that, but that's over. I mean, there was a giant factor for me So I know what I have to do. all the karate stuff and I was really good in karate. That's what I'm saying as far as that stuff. It's like

1:53:36 and my face was in his chest, in his gi tap people like big guys would get on top of people and talk them in between It's like, if you can just figure out how to defend yourself in those positions, I say if I if I applied what I think about all day long to actually practicing it, Oh, did it yeah I would I would think like because that was like the rubber guard and stuff like that, right?

1:56:40 Gara's like big thing right because Minotaro back in the day when Minotaro was the pride champion like, this is checkmate motherfucker. Just slap that down. Boy, Fabrizio Verdun had the most wicked of all guards. I have to get back to it. But it's like, I have a guy that Weidman hooked me up with. You know, I was going to go to Sarah because Sarah is out there.

1:58:22 But it's like I've got to get past literally out of my head and go get in these positions. Honestly, the thing about training with someone who's really good, the problem is you're never just drill on them. Closing the technique. And we were drilling all the time. Sparring is fun. from a certain position or they'll do drills where you all start from a certain position, or they'll

2:00:26 it's all synced in right to your nervous system so when you're and that Some person is pulling on your shit. He's kind of freaking out a little bit. I suffocate in that thing. Yeah, 100%. Because if you get used to grabbing collars and sleeves, and you get used to adjusting was such a great guy. That doesn't make any sense. for something. So you have to learn how to use the proper defense and also never let you get yourself

2:03:43 Oh yeah and it's like a tourniquet, right? Right, right, right, right. I love that. You could even wear anything you'll choke someone with a with a hoodie right you get on top of someone with a hoodie I'm like tapping like crazy. I'm like, I'm you know And I had never deadlifted or did anything. and then I go and I got it and she was like, can we go 405? Like whatever. She

2:06:32 I just got it. Ripped a hole in the middle of it. Oh, so it was weird I did that movie. tired and I had to go in and double leg the guy or whatever it was. Amato, he's awesome. Johnny Amato, he's awesome. You got to do PT and he was telling me, he's and it's like, that's where it'll be affected a lot, So they said, I go, can I get it done after the movie?

2:09:02 And it still hurts. Yeah, it's this is ugly and it's bad. Remember Kyle Parisi and had that with hamstring. Yeah. Oh my gosh, did he? and now they've ruined his career. stem cells might be able to fix that better than No, with the bicep? in Texas. I was walking up to the stage. Stubbs is this outdoor amphitheater and as you're turning Yeah, everyone can see this. Oh, there's just pain. I was I should have addressed it. I should have said I just blew my knee out I

2:12:09 bother me anymore. That Ben Patrick program. That sled too on the wheels, whatever it's called. Right. Vancouver to The character in the book was Alan Richmond. He's a house. He's a linebacker with a genius brain. Yeah kill people this guy's this guy's yeah and what you've implemented. Yep. like Turkish getups and things like that. When you bend, where did, the ankle strength, foot,

2:15:52 You know, like, you bang out 10 reps, like, yeah, we did it. and I'm gonna do as many as I just wanna drill it? So that's the warmup. So that gets you going. That gets you warm after you've done the cold. So if I go to 70 pounds, that means I'm ready to go. So you've got the kettlebells, two on the ground, same distance apart as your shoulders you're like doing a push-up on the kettlebell So you got the kettlebells two on the ground same distance part of your shoulders and you do a push-up and then in the lock push-up

2:17:52 Boom, with that down, yeah. And then once I get done with that, I follow this Russian principle, this strong first principle, which is the most important I would do five right and then I would wait a long time and then I do another that makes sense You don't need to, right? My endurance work is either sled pulling or it's a Tabata's on the air bike or it's

2:20:22 Instantly I would be gone. I have mine ready. I have one and it's 50 it was 52 degrees as you're doing three minutes at 34. They're both brutal. I would just go right into the body weight squats So you're just kind of pushing. Maybe I'll jump rope, maybe I'll, Let's go have some fruit you had a better workout if you eat Right. Recognize that just like an alcoholic that starts drinking again. This could be a slippery slope

2:23:33 It's like, once I go off, I go, ah, all right, I'm off. but you're right. Or I'm just crushing myself. It's like there's no coming back the day the next day you feel like shit 100% like, so I know you can get to that spot. Right. It's just like maintaining. I know. It's so easy to just keep a thought in your head And give yourself a realistic goal.

2:25:50 you know, wanting to throw, I'll get the egg weights, go to a 90 minute yoga class and run a marathon like fuck that right it needs to and you do that for a couple of weeks. this down on paper, I have to do what this says. You're committing to it. Yeah down on paper I have to do with this committing to it. It's great. If you just hold it in your head. I'm gonna go work out

2:27:28 My man. It's great to see you out there killing it.