Joe Rogan Experience #215 — Andrew Dice Clay, Max Silverstein Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. I had this girlfriend, this hot, dirty little Latino girl that I dated for a while. really aggressive sort of attitude about it and it was it was fun and it was like you could repeat the shit with you it was a weird This is before Fear Factor. And obviously you were. all this money i remember the conversation yeah and the back it was out back near that wall

3:07 And when I decided, okay, I'm going to do this, and I would turn into John Travolta from Grease. And I started doing this act. You know, and now I take the magic potion and they shut the lights and they Now I do the Grease Lightning number. wait a minute, where are you going? So he was so hot at the time, Travolta, and there was such a resemblance.

6:23 We couldn't even fucking believe what happened. So when I came out to the comedy store, you know he gets the headline and I'm like great we couldn't even fucking believe what happened so when I came out to the comedy store you know Mitchell Walters yeah I know yeah okay She's psyched for him to come out there. And I go, then why are we even talking?

7:39 Wow. all the way to Don Kirshner's rock concert. She goes, it's too tough. What part of town was that? know the rest became history because what i was trying I'm going the long way but And I said, give them that. you know and then when Rodney gave me the shot on his special, that was the best because I would watch And I'm going, I don't give a fuck if the room is empty I just need to rehearse what I'm going to do because I knew when I'd be in front of the cameras how nerve-wracking it is

11:50 You know, and And people fucking love that. He goes, you've got all this great new stuff, They're mad at you. Yeah, yeah. the resurgence that i've been i did a southern tour recently and i didn't know it was going to To do this special, I'm going to give them something once again where they think they can't be shocked anymore, where they think it's all been done, and it's not.

14:41 a friend come to me and go yeah I went out went out with this chick. I really liked her. I go, because when i grew up in bro, I always had a girlfriend, you know, is now, you know, licking my balls like she's the house dog. Do you think it was like Sex and the City? They were okay. you do with concave tits put a scoop of ice cream in each fucking one you know

18:15 What I did when I did a series for CBS called Bless This House, And, you know, when the show got canceled, this is the fun, Max loves this. And I had to get in shape to do the special. You know, and the next day after the show was canceled, Well, you know, I go, yeah, I know, I got to grab a pizza. which I always hated. The guy that did the pilot got the job directing the season.

20:45 you know, studio audience, you know about it. You play my part, I'm going home. And I leave the studio what you play my part I'm going home and I leave please come back we'll straighten it out tomorrow My first show I was ever on got canceled pretty quickly. I was on a baseball show called Hardball. One little seven-minute thing. to be in the audience.

22:56 I can't say a couple little rhymes ready for you know right I go don't send Arsenio over we didn't prepare anything here and as he's were on that night. I'm going to let them fucking have it. And then, you know. Oh, Jesus. But your point about Chris Brown Nothing exciting has happened on there You know, I watch that show, you know, but, you know, I don't need Snooki in my life.

25:42 He's the original guy. Oh, no. And I would do all the jokes like, you know, bisexual. that does not get the respect that it deserves. any sort of mainstream show but yet That wasn't good enough for them. You know what? wasn't expecting that when my career took off I didn't grow up going I want You know what I mean? a little maybe you got some side tit through her coat that you could tell your friends the next day

28:57 under a fucking yogurt machine and pulled the nozzle. And digitize it and do a documentary Grodin. Well, you gotta... I've always been a fan. Well, it's not just Travolta. Nobody could even fill their fucking gas tank without getting angry. I think it must be such a charge You know, he's a fucking great actor. But what I'm saying is... He was a bad guy in that.

31:33 like a real psycho. Yeah, he does. look, I like girls and sometimes I like guys too. Did you ever like, you know, like he plays, did was over the last couple of years, he goes, the truth Dice, you know, did you ever like, some guy's balls rolling around my I wish I was gay just so I could come out. That's what I like. Gay marriage. and he started talking about his life?

33:36 leave. He's not going to. I don't know. I don't have the answer He was telling dudes shit like, when you get older it's like i tell max the only guy in comedy i'd never want to have a fight with Well, I'll tell you another argument, which was even funnier. And he's like spitting at the guy. And then one night you got mad. even fucking talking about i'm going he's not even on stage and he's going berserk you know and i'm like

36:42 you know you you know when you're on stage how you get. That mineral lady threw a cigarette at me. at me before that. I'm much better now. Well, until something at the store and go, What? or I see a phone, I'll throw them out. and security comes over and he told you don't talk So I start screaming at the producer of the show And he's going, but Dice, I said, I want to throw you down that fucking flight of steps.

39:49 And then I just come out to my music like nothing fucking happened. All the time. I just hate their guts, but it's for real. He wanted more, you know, TV time, whatever the fuck this computer is. there was a show that we did with a good friend of ours, Mark Ellis, Was this guy 14 years old at the fucking whiskey? was only 14 at the time. You know, I'm glad you're friends with him.

43:06 A thousand percent just goofing around. and we'll see if he ever talks again. Nice guy, puppet head. On the cover of his book I think the store is about to you know, Yeah, but that's going on Yeah. Yeah, that was a beautiful place. I got a brand new wife now that I just got. seven o'clock in the morning on her way to work because i was like in the maid's room in crystal

46:08 know I was like 26 you know I go you know and I married you for you you know not really for me Yeah, not to do the act I was doing when I started. So you know the album. And he's listening to this cassette. And he's crying. Tears are coming out. of the comedy connection. And he's listening to this cassette. And he goes, the fucking guy just goes into a club.

48:28 And of course, we also recorded The God, get he goes there's no people you know and you hear people walking out on you and I go well it's And she starts smoking. I go, it's never been done. Well, it's such a real moment, They're not expecting me. What does hourback mean? I'll call you in an hour back get it but you keep saying it like why Well the second one ends with

51:42 And I forgot what they were even saying, because he didn't want me to have and explained to the guy because I had no end for the album. And now I do, so I bought the guy for getting me angry and explain to the guy because I had no end for the album. I now have a great ending. especially when you're in the middle of something. forever now i guess yeah yeah and and when he knows. Yeah, now he knows better.

53:34 I've been trying to watch. He did it down here at the Ice House a couple weeks ago and killed it. In my book, he's right up there. You should know. If you do comedy, do your own kind of comedy. just a real, genuine appreciation of it. You don't need that pressure in the That's the best. I'm one of those fathers that actually raised my kids. Boston, Philadelphia.

56:32 and being on stage every night especially the haters, 42 waist. And then I got Entourage, I was about a 42 waist, okay? And then I got Entourage, He's done Marvin Gaye. And George Gallo wants to do the movie. Yeah. Yeah, he's a real fucking actor. Just hanging out with that crazy old asshole while he was shooting guns off his back porch. Did the show Northern Exposure.

59:30 Sure, yeah. You know, Johnny Depp was unknown. And Johnny obviously has had an incredible acting career. because he's got to play it all. premiere of Ford Fairlane You know, I was with, Sandy Gallen was my manager. I got banned from everything, including my cousin Herschel's bar mitzvah at Leonard's in Long Island. When I was first starting out, I was dirty.

1:02:13 when mitzi had the dunes there i got fired the second night because what she would do So after the show, she goes, I told you to stick to the act you rehearsed. when you've got an audience. And two years later, there's my name up at Bally's. I'd be back in a clothing store going, what are you, a 42 regular? If you didn't, I wouldn't even be here today.

1:04:37 Well, you know what? for taking your bit but now that the guy's doing great he's not funny he's no good in the meantime He gave me a deal for seven CDs that he was going to produce. Really? and they both live with me Completely. trained Stallone for Rocky, when I was getting ready to do Ford Fairlane, I became friends with it's almost like when I see certain guys in the crowd that are my age or older, and I ask how old

1:09:25 you're gearing up for something yeah it does you know i go up the mountains i go to the gym He goes, that's how hard he trains and what he does to each muscle. bring the pain, and it's actually a funny story because I came into the comedy store, every comic looks at you like a fucking zero? like it's just another special I go when when a network like HBO or Showtime they give you a

1:12:21 should be thinking about? Nothing about his material. If it was with the drums, it was Buddy Rich. like Rodney Dangerfield You know, even with Max, when he's performing in Vegas, You know, my new wife, she's half Latin and half Italian, Jewish, whatever she is. They're fucking crazy. He was on those backstair... Yeah. Max is looking. And she's a lot younger than me.

1:16:11 And she's the one that got me into the social media with the fucking Twitter shit. any any friend but she actually knows she gets it and she'll give me like little things to say You met her. You know? Here come 90 cousins. I got to show them this. There's my little fag bag Look how beautiful Fort Fairline used to be... But I got to tell you this, too,

1:18:36 from the two of them. Yeah, because, see, you you know they both have different talents like you know I told Is that from lifting your back? it really has a lot to do with your hamstrings. never have a problem with him. If you don't brush your teeth, of people that fuck their body up because they lift weights and they don't stretch out you got Well, I stopped taking taekwondo, which was the martial arts that I first got my

1:21:00 So let me ask you, because you also do like It's a fun podcast, you know. Then once I got really good at it, I did it because I think martial arts is the most dangerous, challenging, and character-building path for human development. You can do that. You know when I'm bad at it i'm bad at it for two two times one from drinking and someone's just talking shit and they're being aggressive i get yeah but that's

1:22:49 I fucking hate it. The one story that you were talking about But then I got off stage all i was trying to get that i just wanted to swim oh i was there for that i was there for them and some sort of a psychological issue. he would open with his But even still then, I never tried to hit that guy. happened you know what i mean it was well every you know there's so many comics in the room that

1:25:12 Well, you know what? And he's getting better and better at it. No no but he'll be on the special I would tell people immediately go get it about Chris Brown. You know what? Yeah. I don't do radio anymore. That's the schedule for next week. Why? Because this was a movie That's how I saw Ford failing. because, you know, the price it cost to go into a movie theater.

1:28:17 like a hundred dollars right the first month it came out they sold at the hundred dollar price four hundred thousand units wow wow so it with you watching Ford Fairlane? So they have his commentary on the laptop or something. Yeah, I had a blast doing that movie, I'll tell you that much. It's like this silly shit. Yeah. You know, even like, you know,

1:30:23 it just started, like, nothing I got to do was a pleasant experience. When we were talking about the period where you had nothing going these producers at Fox TV, I go, you have the show. I hated it. One of my favorite crazy Eddie Griffin movies. I thought he was going to be fucking huge. And Eddie was on stage I was going to do, I think, two nights at the Spectrum.

1:33:57 Wow. He had to do this take where he's yelling at me in a gas station. And then he gets in the car and he's screaming at me. But he'll admit to that. And then he didn't know what he was going to do once the music stopped. Was it a half an hour? You know? He went up this mountain with me, and he goes, all right, after the mountain, we're going to go to the gym.

1:36:18 had the balls to do it yesterday dumb motherfucker. the cameraman in the background. Talk about a shot of the audience they could have used there? camera guy. I want to hurt him. Into the ground A new Hulk movie They're super friendly. controlling the crowd half of it my dad's audience audience is the only audience that ever heckles me. the actor's name is Mark Ruffalo. That's the guy

1:38:49 Going to see a regular comedy show About laughter country testing everything and uh I was playing this set from I just did the Bergen Center in goes into it um as far as you know certain bits like i don't do my homework as far i just want Yeah. You know, there's a lot of that. Yeah. There's a lot of that in Vegas, right? Vegas is tense. But when you come to a concert on the road,

1:41:00 where I pick on a guy in the crowd And I go, so I want to say to you right now, here's to you. I go, because she just went to tell my wife what happened here. and Dice would be on stage. You've had some of the funniest brutalizations of people I've ever, and there's not even, obviously Max is single This story So I'm talking to her, you know, about what she does.

1:44:19 She's going, yeah. All I know is he's going, I have a son. And so I see this. first it was I want to get a picture So he comes back After the show Well I always kind of try to put me like in a headlock you know and i get physical about it you know i'm not gonna lie So he knows not to bring people back to me because I hate people. I try to let them know

1:46:57 I heard about this. Yeah. the auctioneer. and he's taking the money, you know, Okay, well, the first time I ever really saw my dad do stand-up was in 2000 when I was 10 Whenever we want. I always thought about, like, I didn't have any TV shows or specials. And they were pretty new at it. He went to the pool? but it was a simple thing So when we were on the air, I said, you know,

1:50:35 He got I forgot how it got out of control Do I when I do it? And I go, look, Jay, you know, it's not about that. Like, when you lost your first fight, you weren't afraid to fight again because you know what it is to lose like when you lost your first fight you I'm warning you. to the police station with his wife at the time. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

1:53:27 what he said that was very wrong. I want to do an arena that I knew they were young, He goes, last time you did Westbury, radio show you know in New York Opie and Anthony he goes so based off a radio show you're doing Bottom line, I'm telling you the story short. He goes, obviously Dice knows something we don't. So I sell 7,000 seats, He knew when I would start getting too filthy,

1:57:01 What was the feeling that you had as I just saw it as a 10 year old kid just thinking whoa that's just so cool that my dad you made all these millions and then you lost it and went through divorce and you gambled with my father in Brooklyn, I'm just not sure how I'm going to go about it yet. And that's how it is for me. went, oh, it didn't go too good. I'd look at that guy and go I'm the biggest in the world they just don't know it

2:00:36 Yeah. You know what I mean? And that's why I never understood why He's cooking. And he always seems like a nice and they're all picking on fucking Carrot Top, Ross. In the meantime. There's a visual. He's got a face that resembles a fucking asshole. Anybody looking to knock me down, they're getting knocked down. I guess. Why are you enemies with Opie right now?

2:03:43 and I was going to do the garden. And, you know, and we became enemies for a little while, but we made up. That's here. And he didn't end it. And we became box? How did we even get... that tells, the young man, I should say, Because he knew what I was going for Valerie, you know. We had like four a piece or whatever. Any dominatrix stuff involved? Of course.

2:06:18 When I went down to the bar, I got a text from my dad in all capitals That's his. You should look into one of those. I just don't believe in them. I don't know. I use my phone. Oh, look at this. I'm making a note right now. Roots. Roots. Roots has the best ones. Oh, look at this. 300 feet underwater. What am I doing underwater? Military style. Okay.

2:08:46 you can't even get this. Assholes. Remember that? when I was like 17, 18, I tell it to Max Oh, this is a really cool story. So everything's just about to go down. And I go into a panic because I'm like, there's no way. They send up like this classic Bellman, like 50-something years old, Michael Jordan did that once. He called texted me back so uh really i'm looking just hit it and quit it huh you know it's you want to know

2:12:05 You know what I mean? It's insanity. her mind. You are talking a lot Absolutely. No, but the point, and they're revamping MySpace anyway. You've got to understand, when these songs were recorded, the lead vocal, the words. because I was going to use... they were just going to lay the music down for my album that I still never put out. And Dylan asked,

2:14:50 So 13 and how old at this time? If you picked up a scrap Yeah, that's really great. Down in the junkyard This is your final day Great drumming, Max. How many songs you got up there? Well, I've really been doing the stand-up mostly I would actually tell him, I go, look, I'm not The reality is, regular Creating your own shit, putting it out there. You know, like when he'll come home, like from the comedy store at night,

2:20:02 That's all I cared about. And it just has not really gone that way. what's always been the funniest to me is world. We live in reality. You know, Seinfeld even came up in the early 80s. You ever see Tub Girl? Have you seen Mr. Hands? He was a guy, So people would fly to Washington State and move in and make farms together and have sex and make videos.

2:22:27 Legal to have sex with animals. Yeah, I'm living with a ferret right now. No, I don't. Nothing? I don't even look at. Do you, would you go on the internet and fuck around and like go to message boards and, and I even, I know what's out there. you don't have to watch And Max was honest enough at that time. You know what I mean? That's hardcore type shit.

2:24:44 Remember that shit when they got arrested? And I come into my dressing room and, well, there's a problem, you know, Jesus Christ. You know with We're just doing comedy shows That I had to take a nap afterwards It was so hard And it was like 4 in they made me take a walk in the snow that i had to take a nap If you get a DUI, you can't go to Canada. You're like a bunch of nice people in this frozen country that's connected to the craziest fucking savages that have ever existed on the face of the planet.

2:27:12 And every now and then, one of us is running from the law, and they try to get into Canada. They're so stringent. Yeah, I got them right here for you. That's next Wednesday. Holy shit. real friendly guys but then I read this thing with him and his wife they they own a restaurant For me, as a comic, for me. why I decided Thank you, everybody, for tuning in to the podcast.

2:29:53 A lot of new people that I'm putting in. click on the link for the Fleshlight, You don't even have to sell this stuff back to us. be doing the Ice House Chronicles Ustream.tv DeathSquad.tv? I wasn't with my little snuggle bunny, That's it. Beautiful. Follow Max