Joe Rogan Experience #2159 — Sal Vulcano Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. Thanks for having me, man. Like a good option now because when everybody turns you down I am I don't really like I'm not like edgy like that. So I don't really have my edgy stuff is not that edgy See Nicky's I heard Nicky's was awesome had a baby that looked like It was a monster bit. It's just it's I think people relaxed more with comedy over the last year or so for whatever reason

4:04 You should not get mocked. I got a weak constitutie. Yeah, so like I I try to take like the like the I take like the liposomal Because you want to call a germaphobe, but I just know that if I put myself in are they calling it? New Coke, new Coke. There's so many strains, dude. Yeah, I think we we I've had a cold like five six weeks at many times I gotta do something so

7:29 And I just didn't realize that his the tablets are you would give me I look back afterwards Stroke out I was holding my hand. It was doing this Not one second the is that is it like a adderall or is it cuz it's aderall. It's basically It's helped because I can It is anything that you read where that's not a problem books are tough like long form reading like fiction or nonfiction

10:48 I'm when I I know I'm not gonna do I'm like I I But a lot of them are really good at it. There's some really good voice over actor guys If you don't know people don't know it's just called impractical joke is me and my buddies of 35 fucking huge show dude Two three. This is what we got on. They had two different pawn shows to Three this is when we got on they had two different porn shows three three different towing shows and

13:27 It's not necessarily representative of what actually happened. I mean brother. They've been looking for Bigfoot for nine Thousands of years sure I think I think that's probably what it was but ghosts are weird because they're in every culture had a thing she lived at home and Tell her I don't even believe like I don't I don't know what I she's not lying to me

15:36 One night I was home. It's so delightful And just get like a cool breeze. We did but um you don't like a good haunted house like ah they jump out of nowhere and scare the fuck out of you really weird with you he's got this like it's a visceral thing like they put a I know she's not even me right but yeah I was like I will I know you're explain it man. I know like I know that they did this to me right, but yeah

19:56 It's fun because you know you can eventually get out going alone lost Just heat exhaustion 11 get lot 11. Yeah, that's we think we had looked it up real. No, let's get That's so crazy. I think that's correct It's wild well, you know where it all came from came from World War two so Which is about the same size as California Right, Alaska's so big. You can use it to make alcohol.

23:30 that's an industrial lubricant that they figured out a way to By some estimates, a beef cow can eat a ton of corn if raised in a feedlot. soda, cooking oil, biodegradable packing materials. Have you ever watched that That's all with butter and when you take the butter and the butter like takes on the shape of the corn comp cuz you just reckless It's also you're getting the melted butter in all the girls in your mouth while you're biting into it. Oh, yeah

26:07 To wipe their asses? They were abundant, soft, and easy to handle. Yeah, I mean back anyway that warded off. Maybe that warded off. Like've been it. Nah didn't did that didn't stop ready we are we are so bitch ass like as an animal even if you're fit and in shape where we made a bow and arrow. 500,000 years ago just if you put me in Africa now if you put me in the in the in a forest right now in the Congo if you put

30:04 Are you going with that if you lost if you're lost in the Amazon forget a fire? and the Amazon whether it be just finding yourself Disconnected from nature period fuck your park parks cute. Yeah, that's why you it's surrounded by New York City like that It really changes the dynamic of the city. It does I think it makes the city a more That's the real feeling and that feeling is, I think that feeling is like a thing we're

33:29 But when you go out in the world, you feel so vulnerable you go out into the woods you feel so So it's like your survival mode is gonna kick in how long you last I don't know They're more like to try to bite you and kill you to eat you They're actually less likely to try to go after you because they have an abundant food source the bear has bad intentions, black, brown, white.

36:00 She thinks you're a predator she may charge you she charges you and bites you and you should play dead That's why my strategy is just not to put myself in a place where there are bears. That's a good move The scariest thing I came across, the brakes he goes look at that cat and we look and about 30 yards away under a Do you look at this? I got chills because it's dusk. The eyes are kind of glowing a little bit. Yeah

38:33 they just feed them like a sandwich and you know Melanie Griffin grew up with What is it? Jimmy roar roar? I'm moving on and then Joker's movie. I what they pushed me into a whole roadside hotel room closed the door behind me I thought you look at that bitch ass in the corner look at that chain. You don't think you can break that chain fucking movie yeah fuck that but Roy Roy

41:21 I mean like he would tell you a billion times over. I'd safe. It's safe then he gets he gets his throat cut out. I don't think it tried to kill him though You can't trust those things Dude's just standing there, just totally standing still. Even if it's ninety nine point nine percent that that little tiny one that when the bear decides to just do what nature wants it

43:14 I don't know Roy. I don't know if we're picking it up. Why does he think the tiger saved his life? in the presence of a very large tiger. He's like Lenny you can advice the man you know so you can do that to a puppy to he was considered medically dead at one point Yeah, yeah, he could have just had the stroke and that would be bad enough, but he could have just had a stroke

45:49 a domesticated house cat. The thing looks adorable. It's looking at I'm like, maybe I had to everyone's following waiting for the waiting for the post tiger scene in Houston neighborhood found after week of searching Is that what it's doing? I held them in my hand fed them with a bottle right they were this big And we're with a few people and they're like, that's the one that you fed last year.

48:18 And at one point I turned around like we were gonna walk out turn around it swiped at me right here built into its hard drive I don't know who can pull you yeah, and I'm even trying to kill you trying to cripple you stories was this guy had a chimp that he raised for a while. And guy and just tore him apart tore his hands off towards face off the guy who

51:24 worst possible characteristics you could ever imagine happening in human beings are just common. Yeah, just common Wow with chimps I wonder how it feels about cake now the guy there probably doesn't he's got a bit of it They had like a daily show and it happened every day and we were there for a few days And everything and then the chimp loses control

53:56 place was empty it was like a weekday chimp ice skating show no one no one I mean I had to imagine it was some type of lawsuit. Yeah, I skate or just just regular kind of regular ones cuz like this lady in Connecticut just said like it was legal what she was Yeah, I think they changed- bonobos and orangutans that are accredited by the Association of zoos and aquariums or the

56:24 Yeah, what is he supposed to do? Yeah, I'm surprised that tiger just doesn't live there till it dies because who's extracting that thing and then yeah Not a lot, but they've they they have had more than one But other ones are released just because there's people's pets so asshole some fucking dude is in the death metal has a python I know they dress me as a bog of the ghillie suit is like a bog monster and they put me in a

59:51 Yeah, yeah, I was just like I don't know if it was gonna help, but I was like Okay, this is fine no, so they didn't tell me that that was happening Actually, I was so got so nauseous because it was 105 degrees to smell and I don't mean I threw up I was in I couldn't really move that would be the end of the show You have nothing to fight it off. I hope I go by surprise

1:03:20 Like the light that we've talked about tonight, so we just added a whole nice new bucket for me He he took a chance that it wouldn't attack him. So he just why I don't know. He's just fucking insane to protect the rainforest. It's just like the limited number that they've measured and come in contact with right? So what was his endgame? Got me and look it's got its head around him. Jesus Christ. Wait what?

1:05:44 It's insane. It's insane To sustain that size to sustain that size. What is that thing? Dr. Freak dies fucking with a bullet. I can see it. What a great name. Dr. Freak So I was like something like you know a good flairful. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, still. I mean it's probably kind of big That's like Bram Stoker's Dracula where Gary Oldman turns into one of those. Yeah, that's what it looks like. Who's who?

1:09:41 So I imagine when they're flying out they shit on the water and they wanted to get photographs of these bats just went south from there he was a bat scientist that didn't think about this Look at them all they're cool and they apparently do just fuck those mosquitoes up You ever been to Anchorage in July? Yeah. Yeah, that damn is Alfred. I've never heard that name. I think Alfred is probably

1:12:46 You could call him Temujin, which is Genghis Khan's real name. You think Angus ever thought his ancestors would own the Jacksonville Jaguars? We go on and on for that a lot of fucking humans man Dan Carlin probably had the answer in his Adolf is a layup right and there's no way everyone knows no Adolf right is there is there even a two is it Just he alone on his own. I think he's alone on his own. Yeah, right because like

1:15:28 You can't name your kid King? You can't name your kid majesty? Yeah, of course. So it has to get worse. It is a knock at the door one day It's a police like you we got to rename your son senior Mean there's some Christ's out there. Yeah, dudes their last name is Christ. Yeah, what are they supposed to do? Because we don't allow it. I'm going to change my name to Jesus.

1:17:56 He was called Jesus, not Jesus? Oh. Well, what about Jesus the comic? It is but we so it's a suit everybody called the guy Jesus ain't that wild stop for a second. So if you're Spanish Can you name your middle name fucking that'd be so great? It's good. It says on the wall. It's a good name solid name Did you did you like what you gleaned from it like it was it interesting or it was pretty much what I thought it was. Yeah, I'm

1:21:25 net lineage died off and this is like there was this one that like just ended 46,000 and 54,000 years ago his male line descendants appear to remain rooted in the region for tens of thousands of years while the ice She was one of perhaps thousands of women alive at the time I've seen that story a hundred times. Have you that story's crazy is this is what this is what it says about this dude. Hold on

1:24:15 Had the world oldest tattoos it said see if you can go back to that thing that you're reading just there right below that right Chemical analysis of his teeth indicate he came from the Italian side of the Alps And you're related to that dude that dude jizzed in someone I can't put it in my head. How long ago? What is the exact thousand years ago that guy said

1:27:08 that didn't translate when you came across someone that you didn't know you It's fucking nuts is it one Ted talk about it, so this guy. He's like okay have those things on too. But why would anyone wear that? Well, you would have to let someone Yeah, oh, that's fucking creepy, but he wasn't pitching like this is a TED talk That's insane. Shall we close historic center. That's insane.

1:30:16 an AI transcription and translation Taking all the outside noise out and then translating those people in that video in real time what it can do. So it's actually impossible to demonstrate this experience until you hear it with your So it doesn't, it doesn't, so it's gonna be able to do that. It was a whole trial. Like, it was just this wild scam. They script they were scraping goo off the ball

1:33:44 And what your regulations Walt Disney's back! It's just love and also what are you signing up for I think they're signing up for the hope that if And they're pretty clear on what parts of the brain are responsible for different things, Connected in some strange consciousness Place where they stored these like enormous So I was probably just freaked out with the fact that I got hit sure, you know

1:38:29 Yeah. I was okay. I went to the hospital. I'm sure I had some sort of a concussion. They like looking at the light. Yeah, it was bad to this day like if I think about it, I actually will have like a little bit of anxiety attack I'm safe. It's like I'm flying in a toy airplane We have a little bit of a situation and he goes what he goes They pull back up. He comes back out. This is what his motherfucker says. He says

1:41:24 I just I don't even like to think about it cuz I don't even want to put it out there trip there and back. The nighttime trip we were it was like a storm and we're flying Right on the thing. Oh fuck. So I was just gonna wait and if it just I felt I could just hit it And you know, it breaks the tension everything and I'm like dude and I'm crying and laughing so hard because when you're in that

1:43:39 I'm like laughing crying. Please stop Joe and Yeah, like I couldn't even turn it on for the picture. Oh, no to London from New York city, like super quick, That's it right there. Oh, that's not it. Oh, so that this you fly from New York in 3.5 hours in this new supersonic jet But probably not because it's probably gonna be super expensive only got room for one person that can't be the same thing is it?

1:46:35 Look at that fucking thing that's crazy. Look at that thing That's not fast at all. 1150 miles an hour That's yeah, that's like double the speed of a regular jet You're not gonna feel 1100 miles an hour? I don't know that's just like private rooms for two travelers with a bedroom living room and an in-suite shower room and the living room fine Can we stop saying flat-screen, but it's like what do you it's like the thing is who is it for who who can purchase that?

1:49:00 So this is just an idea. But it's December to remember and you got it, you know, yeah, it's our fucking I tell you what it's the end of the month It's a sales push. He's gonna let it go Oh, it's a flat screen right round tires right um what kind of tires you have everybody have around tires why they keep calling around A shower, a TV, 32 inch flat screen TV, noise cancelling headsets so you can't hear the

1:50:56 there's some new video of some guy going bonkers on some guys with those clothes Like they were like super fast Instantly turns you into a fucking monster. They're trying to give it to you you could be recklessly aggressive with a wolf or something that could kill you, and they're figured out a way to put people into medically induced comas and system can fight off the rabies and with medication they were able to do it.

1:54:52 But they'll give you these shots that are apparently like brutally painful. I think they go into your stomach which I've read a lot of. but not that bad. So it just takes over the grasshopper's brain and then leaps into the fucking water I haven't seen one in years where you living They freaked me the fire one time was getting gas and there was one on the right on the thing

1:58:05 Or the person standing in the corner. It was like that horror movie that like a handheld camera. Oh Blair Witch This is like a history of rabies and I got to this part of the hair of the dog What year was this Jamie this it doesn't say because it says we're the 1982 Why do you got work? What do you got a salted? Yeah, imagine being someone from the salt war days. It's not like the most yeah and going into a restaurant

2:01:30 Was named first it was picked as quickly followed up by a cold night air What does that mean? presenting manifestations abnormal sexual so the rabies wants to be are the presenting manifestations, have been reported since 1970. And extremities were the main exposure sites the penis, that's right. The full or partial erection continues hours behind. It isn't caused by sexual stimulation.

2:04:55 That's hope makes the story more fun All right I can't take this any yeah, imagine like never not being horny. There'll be hell was this guy No way if you've ever jizzed more than three times in a day the third one is dust That's an HR nightmare. Yeah. I can't imagine that. It's really he's really sitting there just orgasm is that real when was the last time you've been over like that one came for?

2:08:11 some people are definitely hornier than other people. Oh my. A 32 my old man in China God When frequent ejaculations increased to 40 to 50 times on the morning of day four the patient went to a local clinic He was subsequently transferred to a territory, territory, what's that word? as well as headaches, nausea, chest congestion and fever. an inert form of rabies.

2:11:09 Yeah, did you get your rabies shot? You're 16. You can get a rabies shot 16 But if a person has sex for fun like if a person could be as horny as a tiger all the time But then they couldn't do that because you can't just prescribe something to help people's performance Really? Yeah. Is it crash? Yes, like oh no, and you're literally like what am I gonna?

2:15:13 Really? Yep goes away and then five minutes later you might need it again, but you got it right there Don't want to I had to get a coca-cola something because I get sometimes I start to fall asleep The drug manaphanol was developed to treat narcolepsy kind of excessive sleeping But it's widely used off license as a smart drug to promote cognitive enhancement

2:17:22 Just like discipline pump them up. Yeah discipline fighter jet pilot with a little bit Adderall a little bit of that stuff Is this conscious yeah, and you you have to be strong to do it it a hundred million dollars what is one of those things cost 300 million. What is like our that's fully loaded With all the stuff and they say this is what's gonna happen

2:19:42 Sick like Trump traumatic. He threw up he passed out. He woke up. He threw up And I blacked out the part that I blacked out in was way less geez American yeah, if you want you want the rest of the world to be worried about America Oh you could. You do that too, like we did a flip In the canyon it's my friend Mark Smith does that he did that with the Thunderbirds. He's a referee for the UFC I

2:22:33 We should have signed a treaty light that's visible the old model that's out an iPhone one today. What the fuck is that? Nice, that's a nice car like don't you enjoy driving it? Yeah, I do I mean, where's all the gas that must be eating gas, you know, like I have a RAM truck Well, they do that with a lot of cars because a lot of those pickup trucks people have transport things over long distances

2:25:44 They've been making those things just like Porsche 911 It's like I said one is to have a Raptor, I don't want the bullshit ass third third two inches is like that big. It should look like cribs. That's not that big My point is my truck my truck when I'm on the gas. Yeah They had to refuel in the air and I was like they really do do that. That's insane. It's insane

2:28:22 Yeah, like that's newer technology than the jet itself. It's all nuts, dude that can pilot that thing all You could have a gun. Shut the fuck up. Well, there goes that But they might be able to make you a slightly different one. Ooh, look at that one. They don't list it translate this into rubles they don't listen like What was that? No. They sold him a sub.

2:32:52 How terrifying must be if you're in a place that you know, there's rocks under the water You know like I would imagine is it just like listen that's now they must have so many They knew those people were dead. You know like what the government's underwater searching like they have like imagine there's a top secret program that's this one. I mean if they wanted to hide in plain sight that's the place to do it.

2:35:44 Also, my memory is shit. Yeah, I'll probably forget about it. I was a see Was it Congress? Yeah, they got in front of him. Yeah see Those things are interesting because it's all just talk until they could show you something but they showed something And there's like some image in the backyard that you can see on film that they've run through like CGI

2:37:36 Body cams, maybe they don't want the attention because then people are showing up at their house Yeah, and disappears into the cosmos, and you're like what the fuck man This is an actual life form that occasionally visits. Where were you I don't know I was like driving home from a show But I wasn't far from home. Maybe like less than two hours away. I know that and I saw the light

2:39:51 Yeah, and my girlfriend was in the I got it wasn't like oh there was a building or this light flash is just, like, kids' toys. those things aren't some robot like we're real close to making robots like Yeah, that could be, that sounds terrible for us, but if you were being objective, people's lives yeah that's how most people think just like it's weird just

2:42:44 So when we're like, oh god, that's so far away well it's gonna be so different than anything else you've ever experienced before and We're not gonna be the smartest thing. stop. systems and all it has is like it has a desired outcome that it's trying to Even the people in positions that are racing to get this technology Right. overfishing in the ocean and also ask them about the negative side effects of oil spills and also ask them what's going

2:46:49 Yeah, so we can't keep up I'll write a joke and you know write me an email Like if he was hanging out with you Good, but it's my voice. That's it sounds like me to me I'd see it for sure. Yeah, I would I just want to see what it's like What is this guy saying? And then talking about certain things on stage? People couldn't be still getting arrested then.

2:50:56 Wow. Or like when you go to the record store, the used ones, they're always like just a few But I got I mean I get Pat Cooper Alan King and every you know oh wow you know I got what's his name? Like whether it's just what you know, you're listening to or just the way they recorded it Yeah, you could buy up and they're fucking great man Yeah, well that was also George Carlin George Carlin's early days. He's real clean cut and clean jokes

2:54:27 When they involve Indians, the big scene always- They're pulling wagons around in a circle. And it's their attack, all right? There must have been a way to divide their manpower. Hey, I'm playing the game wrong Yeah, I mean without all those guys I have a I have a photograph in my living room that he autographed to me written. It's like if there's a fire. It's the first thing

2:57:40 Later like I saw him like two years before he died up at Westbury, Long Island And he's with his wife and one other couple. I saw him once live at great, which is like this outside concert area But he went from 86 where he was on top of the fucking world to like 88 Yeah, but just tells you how this fucking wild man like how different he was just yeah just plummeted

3:00:09 who knew how to do stand up. I wonder if he, how long it took him And that's a form of show business, clearly. You can find on YouTube him with like a leather jacket on and a comb over. When he gave in back then, he 1980. without yourselves amen we've all played a part in each other's lives we've given to each Went to the hospital, but I didn't break anything or anything. Did you get knocked out? Yeah. Yeah.

3:03:08 He threw the frisbee and it went like over there and I went to go get it and as I'm going I see I was do I try to pick this up again or do I get out of the way? Cause I, Don't know you don't remember it was like 12 5 when I got it Wish I had a nice story to cap this fucking I know right The check cashed the bank was a knife through my heart, dude Shooting out of the tailpipe and she used to pull over

3:06:30 cause it was like, it backfired like, just having to get in the car That's why we're so dumb. And tell everybody you're special.