Joe Rogan Experience #2168 — Tyler Fischer Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience I'm just gonna do the Biden just let it out Ari peed in that seat three or four times yesterday He's not going to. He should. He's working through stuff. He gets messy. I like that How long have you been out here now? That's almost 20 years. We would drink together. And so I took this acting class and I got on stage It's what I've been doing every day since Wow

3:51 class we had to dance on stage he was like he goes you're gonna fuck oh he was He goes, it's gonna be so bad, And I'd get on stage and it'd be like, sillier, weirder, but he didn't get good spots, unfortunately. we were like young hotshots. You know like hey, man. You gotta pick it up They know who he is they get excited people have seen him multiple times. Yeah cult following here. It's great. Definitely does

7:16 I made him an offer. a festival here every week. It's like a festival. It's a festival. Yeah, I wasn't sure if I'd made the right move and then I'm on the plane and it's I don't fuck up a little less this time yeah the fuck up thing It's like this is the move. Yeah, and it's gonna be fucking annoying Yeah, he's just like oh, why am I so worn the fuck out with the heat here man? Yeah, you get used to that

9:58 This might be, like San Francisco is a failed city. I was wondering if you could have this as an opportunity to redeem yourself and if you and she's like Yeah, no, sit back and enjoy. This is... sit back and enjoy this is sit back and enjoy the show when woke woke ism just takes on a You mean the American flag? What the fuck are you? Like how are they in there with the perverts? How are they in theresexual. Like, how are they in there with the perverts?

12:52 He's been oppressed how so? George Bush was talking about pride the other day, Now watch this drive. president and see how everybody responds and then it was all about the Iraq war Duncan said, dude, this is gonna be so bad because we're gonna have a right-wing authoritarian president next. London breed, mayor thing, It's too complicated now, because it's like, well there's that, and then there's, you

15:42 experience I'm like no it is. It is. What were they booing? of what's going on now. She made she had the whole thing like she was wearing the sleeveless vest with the arms I remember so I was just way cooler And I would tell them, my dad's an attorney. instead of they're recreating the murder, they're in there. Yeah, I don't know. I don't care. I I was raised to hate America all that bullshit. I fucking love this country man

19:35 but they'd see my dad being a great dad yeah, it's like, you know. They just seemed like men. Do you think people are actually? that want to groom young boys. That's how you become gay, by the way. Jesus dude. Yeah, yeah seven and eight was rough for you seven was dad coming out and then And we just had a new guy and he had a mustache. He looked like Ned Flanders and I'm like

23:08 Well, I wonder if by occupation, if it's the most. You know they're literally guilty of moving people who are molesters to another place where they can molest new people and so turn Wolf of Wall Street guy he did a lot of crazy shit with the stock market There's no feeling like that ever would go out. You go out make midnight at Paris after that Yeah, yeah.

25:24 Yeah, he's very pervy You're a knockout Joe, you really are. I mean, both of them deserve whatever happened, Disabilities and stuff and then she would return them Wow yeah the I'm seeing the Shane Gillis movie did he really make one a year yeah wow Like how many does he have? Oh my god, look at how many movies he has. Probably he's dead. He's old man. Yeah. He is old. I don't think people would recognize him real. Oh come on

28:25 Yeah, not good. Wow. Mean that's just and he just still does a movie here. What did he get arrested for there? Yeah, there were people that were barely hanging on. Fouchy was on TV the other day going, You've been shown when you make their lives difficult, they'll drop their ideological are allergic to some of the components some of the some of the actually ingredients in

31:08 We were right, you were wrong, we were right. from COVID is so grossly exaggerated. I know a couple of people. and I lost almost every friend, every job, Edison couldn't do it with lightning speed, but I did warp speed. I'm in it. They said sir. It'll take 15 years I quit smoking when I was 12, but No, it's fine, it's fine. I just, god damn What do you hit this thing the other side

34:16 I would steal like thousands of dollars of cigars What part of Connecticut? Yeah, we hear gunshots every night. I don't know. First one was the cafeteria at college. and his administration, the whole thing. came of that? Yeah. Biden pulling out, leaving billions of dollars of shit behind. Yeah. But first watch this drive. I watch that every day Born in New Haven.

37:22 Isn't that funny, he's younger No pulse because he had an artificial heart put in while they were waiting to put a replacement I don't know. IV vitamin transfusions and fucking hormones and big deal the things over he gets led off the stage. That's just him walking off with Joe Biden, with Obama. But it's literally no words, and then he has a big smile on his face

40:34 A little bit. Well, you hear this though. Let me hear what this one is Yeah. Let's say how he died. He died from cancer Oh, no, no, no. he was later diagnosed with brain cancer, Yikes, yeah, what the fuck man? What was the Sun doing where someone's in Kosovo was the Sun serving? Jen to Lodi Biden and bailic where he worked for two years before being elected attorney general of Delaware. He was nominated. When Joe Biden was nominated for vice president, Bo introduced

44:59 fuck that job you you literally have to be a crazy person to want that job like If you are a president, I think you should have to commit a mental fitness course you just announce today's the day. He locks up, whatever that is. Okay finally Some of the richest real estate is in Virginia, right outside of DC, and a lot of it's lobbyists. come on in, you're in the White House.

48:35 to the really important issues. They're going to be able to bypass encryption with AI. encrypted end-to-end encrypted devices, explaining that what about Elon's Neuralink chip is that you think people except for a few movements in his hands, and like he can kind of move a little bit. Well for soldiers, that's a must. Yeah, you have to give them that you know and that's you know some of the fighter jets the new helmets that they have on now

52:03 Like get that out of your head. And you know two people in each row and that's all made up when they found six If a respiratory virus gets out to a certain number of people these rules. We took the vaccine, we're standing six feet away, we're wearing a mask. And so all those things, even though none of those things kept you from getting COVID, zero of those things

54:37 And so I thought, okay, that makes sense. The wear two is just like the woke shit in San Francisco. It's amazing. He does it, and his hands fidget in the most obvious... But how can people still watch him and go, him with this, he said, that's not what I meant. You, the head of our America's Coronavirus Task Force. other side it's 38 degrees out wow and I'm going what am I at like like the

57:30 And then people fell apart. Why am I gonna do that? What are the consequences what how much do we know about pharmaceutical drug companies have they ever lied before? it's the craziest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. So it's 100% effective. You can't you can't get infected can't transmit and then they never even they had to admit later in European court

59:36 But don't shame the people who just made the decision God, he lit him on fire. You can't take a poop? on cable television. like you just go out on CNN, that Trump pushed through regulations. because they were worried that other people were Quick. Holy shit. I did 10 rounds on the bag. So I said, let me just go for a decent workout you need to take a vaccine. This is the only way through it. And my doctor was saying,

1:03:43 And he's like, but there's a bunch of things In order to have the emergency use authorization that was gonna make them insane amounts of money. A lot of people learned, and I think a lot of people- And then once the vaccine, I said, we need your papers. And when I tour, a lot of my fans went through a similar thing. And so when I meet them after, Yeah.

1:06:13 The UFC had allocated a bunch of vaccines for their employees because they were doing and Johnson vaccine. And so I called up the doctor, hey, can I One guy that I met and another guy who was a friend of a guy Think I talked to the UFC. I go hey, man One of the scientists that I talked to about this and I was like maybe this would be good to get people that are these

1:08:41 family got COVID. Like this was early early days like no vaccine. No one knew what the fuck the treatment was I was working out and I remember one day I worked out and I didn't feel good yeah, I don't fucking feel that good. I tested every day, never tested positive for it, and they just kept training really hard You need to get stronger. We gotta have some activity yeah your body needs activity

1:11:59 And so like a lot of tough guys are not smart because they're just too tough. You have to be strategic about it like no no no hold End of August in Chicago, and I go no if he dies. This is useless I keep thinking it like every day I'm waiting. Yeah, he's a smooth gas lighter. And it. He's got a nice hair hot privilege. Yeah, he's a smooth gas lighter and

1:14:21 That's what rest is gonna attack, you know, I got kicked out of a comedy club for doing an impression of her? I was like making fun of her and I got thrown to the curb Wow because I couldn't do the club I was just kinda talking about race and stuff, You'd see Mark Normand on The Tonight Show, It all happened during the Obama administration. It was a wave of it and like

1:16:46 The surgery is getting good too. And if they're Asian No. No. No? like they had a well thought-out point it was just like yeah why should you have Well, that's the thing is that they want to say Trans shouldn't be on the fucking table. Dick holding person. But that one doesn't take away your vagina That's one of the funniest things that Alex Jones got called out for the turn of the frogs gay

1:20:31 exposure to atrazine at concentrations as low as zero point one parts per and the man looks more feminine. I mean women create the sexual marketplace men and one of the ways that happens is jobs, right? So you have a job and you're in this Tell your story like tell what happened and how this all this you just start to hear people say, I was invited to do a podcast.

1:23:50 I grew up in gay bars and piano bars and drag shows Oh, he was like get the fuck away from me. I remember I was in the car and just going like I wanted to be the gay, you know. you can't have me on just cuz I'm my skin color what changed it was the and all the agents would come and every you know every couple months I'm gonna The next day fires me, removes me, right?

1:26:35 we hit a snag, he said, So halfway through the conversation, He goes, you're the guy for the job. we will not represent white men and its company policy. Do you have to tell them that you're recording? over a million followers, just from, I was doing Fauci every day, I mean, I was being considered for big Hollywood roles. what happened after you recorded it on tape what happened after you recorded on tape

1:29:06 I mean, I don't know if an agent said that, but. And I go, yeah. I talked to my therapist. I just didn't know what to do. and to move on from it, and so I thought, And one guy reached out and goes, Yeah, every every race is protected under the civil, you know civil rights laws. There's no isn't that crazy though And I would give up everything for it.

1:32:08 the congressional hearing in Canada, like, why do you care about what happens, they're gonna expand and they're gonna be involved in the workplace and they're gonna be involved in It's like, well, it's like you can't bloody compel my speech, living in New York and I would sit in my room It's a master class in how people will try to bend your way. and what it leads to, what communism and socialism actually leads to.

1:35:12 disenfranchised and imposing this especially the gender pronoun thing which at that point in time there was 78 different They froze Mike. I was going all my pandemic shit. Oh, they check. They banned you. What'd you do? They've well that they let kind of through. Is it because the algorithm let it through? Yeah. Yeah, I was blowing up like I was getting like 10 20,000 followers a day and then wow

1:38:11 No, oh, bro. That's when I lost it when did that was the only back now, right? And I said, can they just turn you off and on? They got two complaints or whatever he's being transphobic or whatever the fuck bullshit is going on at the time that the audience knows they don't mean. and say that this is an anti-LBGTQT plus AI2. I hate that well porn pops every time you know It's kind of crazy that they're porn on it, but that was always no

1:41:02 RFK fundraiser was doing stand-up with RFK jr. And his But now she's back. She's a feminist. That's was so crazy Where they hit that guy not fake goes, fucking get me in the nuts. He would be like, let's just improvise the the the fight scenes. And she just she's suing Disney right now. Yeah, I think she's she should win. I hope so Confusion just goes through the culture and everybody's at each other's throats on social media. I never

1:44:15 I mean, you know, it's if you're just a regular person and then suddenly start blowing up anonymously at least you could there's no personal attacks no one knows who musicians oh yeah arguing with fans or trolls about whether or not their last Unless you say something really crazy and then it goes public. of your time and effort. It's a nice thing to know.

1:46:42 You're like all right right someone says that's a good one. be like, right, I went out with this girl last night, And so my whole act became you know just doing the audience that he would fuck him till he loved him and I was like do you have any idea how Fuck those people. Yeah, it's like it's so good. It's so crazy good where he does Conor McGregor.

1:48:57 I'm one of the crowd. They didn't like you like you were supposed to not try and you're supposed to just stand there and be kind of monotone-ish. Yeah, that's why I didn't. I don't really hang out with comedians But in pretty much every world every community you get sucked into the ideas of the peers Tonight show and everybody wanted to get a sitcom so you develop this like squeaky clean

1:51:04 I had done a couple of things, And part of me was like, I don't, When he told me he was like you're never gonna get any work that you don't have and And I went up and killed. Circle Where kids are learning? We're just like I want to hear wild shit Because I love them, so I listen to black keys. I'm like fuck yeah, and some people like oh that are so desperately trying to succeed,

1:55:13 Endeavoring when you're you're entering into this like So when you're in that environment, Everybody becomes like this same thing. and your family, and you say you're in a community, It's... You're funny black lady who fucking cares? Are you funny? And if you're funny you're in and I see what you're trying to do. Wants to work with you and like and and we'll take a risk in in like invest in your talent

1:58:53 I went back in 2014. Okay. But one of the reasons I went back is the guy that was running Mm-hmm, and I had been friends with Ari when Ari was a doorman. I met Ari when Ari was just starting out to give to me and him performing at the comic store having a Comedy Central I'm so proud of him. We're upstairs and I was one of the judges, like you'd have a judge, like that gets to

2:01:17 At the end we're all gonna hug like you know it's nice Yeah. when I first met him. Yeah, and I look at him been doing comedy five or six years when I first met him. Dude, he does it in the green room all the time. Him and David Lucas, I keep telling them this, god damn it you motherfuckers, do a show together. and dying of diabetes, and dying laughing.

2:03:14 that's so important is Kill Tony. Yeah, cam Patterson has a fucking thriving career Hans Kim has a thriving career William Montgomery perform again or then you become the newest regular and now guys have careers yeah And I'm not a big fan of themed comedy specials, I gotta get this out now When I go to the comic store, every time I go to the comic store, I have this feeling.

2:05:27 have had that kind of fresh kind of... We would have made it alive. We would have Like this isn't ideal like so we started looking for other places and then when we found the But is that the whole thing though? So you see how it angles up Even than the balcony because that was Louie's idea to lower it Louie's idea was like can you lower the ceiling even more?

2:08:30 Crazy look at all them back then look at them. I thought I found a picture of Henry Rollins there what yeah That's the dirt? Oh? We're doing all the construction and I've figured someone would fucking remove the swastika Because now where all the fucking swastika was, design don't accept you now it's even more obvious because now that the where Know I got it in this little pile. That's 1980 black and white 1982

2:11:12 You've been open. I know how much has happened in that room I remember hearing about that when I lived in Boston. Because I lived in Boston. Comedy store was Mecca. That was the place you had to get to. I don't think the clubs not there anymore because the club moved to a new location And when you work that club, you know, you do like whatever, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,

2:13:33 Mostly Houston had this scene and Austin had a bit of a scene, but you know a little bit smaller There's no management. You just gotta like let people know you can be free It's comedy and the problem is these fucking idiots that are running these clubs are giving in to the very thing that's gonna kill their enough to get my ass to Texas. I never thought I'd live in Texas. You can be free here. You

2:15:56 as long as what you're saying is funny. There's no like, the meritocracy that you set up, setting up So it's literally the gym. I don't know if it's on HBO or whatever is so good You just have to do it. And then they will come see you again. Sure. And then you'll develop and then the people coming to You know, you're gonna get you're taking this job. Yeah, I take a girl home the other day she goes

2:19:11 Every show now. They vandalize Stonehenge Everything you own was shipped on a truck that was used oil. have any purpose. They're taught that from now. I mean for me it started popping up in Focus on this for no fucking reason it's gonna fuck them up These people, they have these positions in universities. We have to have this person and this person and this race,

2:22:33 none of it makes any sense the whole thing's bonkers man it's a fascinating About once we're saying you can't make a good comedy movie now because no one will go off Alonzo. I love Alonzo. I just wake up and I just look at the headlines. Because I was like, bye. That is from it just from memes. It's from the internet. Yeah, that's what it is man. Incredible. Well, listen, dude

2:24:57 People flying out from around the world now are showing up. I was canceled. Welcome aboard.