Joe Rogan Experience #2176 — Chad Daniels Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. Right. You think if you're trying to sell stuff, you'd want to sell it right when they came dinner table that's crazy yeah happens all the time it's really like in your Yeah. There are multiple ways that you may have opted in They're the first that did. Something like that. to stuff. Jamie will find it. I'm sure apparently everybody is

4:10 Because they could say we lost all this money on Columbia like they could like factor it in He had like this super expensive marble don't wanna pay you all that money. They had to take a bunch of people off of Pandora and Spotify and everything because of the the lawsuit that they went they were trying Experian was the company that does the subscription.

6:04 like the Robin Williams So it was strange and so then Pandora was like fuck this we're pulling everything down and pulled a bunch of guys off You know yeah, so there was some sort of agreement. Yeah. Yeah, I bought a heckle line once from a buddy of mine But uh, you know, I was like a year into comedy Sometimes when you create, even today, I'm working on a new one and I'm like, I don't

8:47 And I found that in September, Right. Because yeah. And then all of a sudden the next morning you wake up, and you're like fiddle it is that's just constantly going and we don't hear about it. And then about summoning the muse when you write. I always feel like I can't really take credit for the original idea the original idea is almost like this little gift

11:06 Oh yeah, sometimes. It's one of the only art forms No, because you feel like you're good at playing the guitar. I I don't think I'd be a good singer of someone else's song. I think I'd have to write it I And I got that show yeah, and that was the only two that I had ever done good for you Yeah, I was like I got these they always sent me in for these auditions where it's like I

13:47 improvise sometimes they ask you to improvise like look this is neat. One You're trying to talk him into getting married and I'm go you so you want me to do this with this guy like what am I doing? It was just one of those movies was just it was written for fake people. is not like anything people ever say. Oh, that's bad writing or a bunch of people that are like really easily influenced, you know, yeah

16:25 I realized I only lived in Boston for like six years and I was 19 and I was on television for this thing that I did and Everybody's moving nobody in the audience has any attention span. They don't want to hear you dilly-dally and Fucking skating rink your streets a skating rink like that man you develop some resilience those are different human Overall the time of your life one in 38

19:39 That's a weird thing too when you see a dead animal and you're like oh And instead of burying devouring these human beings. This is like when pelicans follow a fishing boat. Oh, they are 100% know what's going on because they've been doing it all the time just hacking apart this bot. You know Autopsy driven by sure in the bed and never reported that she was dead and kept fucking her and put like a mask

23:31 Cases of perfume this dude just pouring perfume all over her corpse. I feel like I could solve that crime They got this person. It's different than a dog. Yeah, I was going to say mice die in my garage and I can't go in there for two days. Yeah, I mean it sucks. of the smell. And then how long did it take him to get him out of there? I don't remember. I was too little. I don't remember. But it was a very, very specific smell.

25:20 And you're going to buy a urn. where you have to get your person embalmed That's not regular makeup. Yeah, it's not like you go into you know, like a great clips or something and ask somebody like, Hey, my grandpa This is gonna take so much time take it in, suck it up, which is what fertilizer is, which is why our food sucks, because we They move everything around that's how you're supposed to do it

28:16 You know it might be like certain cities they embalm you before you go into a cooker. Yeah, that's what you're saying All they're trying to do is shame you, make you feel bad. But that's probably why I guess though. That's interesting. or if the remains are being transported between states. where I saw one of my loved ones, it was my grandfather. It's a weird feeling that you get when you're on a dead body. It's like especially one that you knew so well. Oh, yeah

30:52 He's gone. know when you just start counting the numbers like oh fuck nor McDonald oh conversation that guilt of like, fuck, maybe if I talked to him, maybe if I had one conversation, He's one of the rare guys that lived and he said as he jumped he'd realized what a horrible mistake Tony Anagoni who's a professional pool player hmm Oh, how the fuck I could have picked ten other guys besides you well

33:47 And I, he, some two people were sick. No, no, no, would you mind please, put it into the camera? It's already! Would you mind please turning to the camera? That's why I need new foul ball some part very thing You know what I would have loved to have seen actually if they could have combined and drop off funeral and the Olympics and had him in We're ready now. Here we go.

36:12 directing commercial commercials again I can get at this time once more I'm Jack allegations with that guy, but which wound up, there was a lot of physical problems and act like just like different characters He was like, good morning Vietnam. Creepy, yeah, he played a good psycho. I think when people are super depressed and then they use comedy as like a way to just like a drug to just get them

39:46 Into TV like a Seinfeld and you have your own show. But everybody really wanted movies, that was the thing. And he never got any of those. I remember him doing a bit at the Comedy Works in Montreal, Unrelatable premise what I like, you know, what a premise where you like, how do you get anything out of this and was? and she would just tell me, you know, it's just like, the guy's so brilliant, but he's

41:38 And I went there on a Sunday, and I talked to the guy that was the MC all weekend you're working with a master you're not even close to it yet it's like those They only have a few years in this like high revolution high rev got out of shape and never ate bad food. Do you think it was as I always equated to his his legs and his coil he gets adopted by this guy, Custa Mato,

45:04 wouldn't believe he was 13 a boxing historian and he was also managed by this guy Jim Jeffries or Jim know, these like these guys guys that existed, you know, Like, let's make sense of this. Which they might but then you have to watch it while it's on TV. You can't rewatch it again when people were like, holy shit. That's a good question. I have words for you like Billy what the fuck is wrong with you, man? I'm sorry left you alone I had to work. I had two jobs. I had to pay the bills

49:05 and blow this guy. when you were lazy and that's why it went bad Hypnotists and performance coaches the guy who did it to me is my friend Vinny Shortman and he does it to a lot of fighters use them. A lot of fighters use hypnotists and performance coaches. It's like what they need. You know, it's chaos, but you're letting that lizard brain take over and you're not sticking to the game plan

51:21 Anderson Silva was the very best at that. Like he wasn't willing to take stupid chances, especially with like big punchers. Knee fell apart didn't even happen like it wasn't happening like where someone did something to him he he goes like he's gonna throw a kick and he just fucking moved weird that's Once he got you figured out like as the fight went on he would like if he made the fight boring

54:31 Well, he was just so smart that he didn't care if people were booing and then the UFC would get mad at him would get mad at him. But I was always If you can take the booze and the other guy can't yeah There's guys that like for a while, You see it in guys' faces sometimes. He's used to that. He's done that 13 times. Yeah. It's the same thing everywhere. Yeah.

57:48 You're on speed Yeah, you could do it. Oh my god, that's hilarious. It's the same thing as playing pool. They're in that groove all day long all day long played constantly. No. Watch and just like what? It's like this is a feel of the movement Three or four percent off three or four percent off if this guy's a fucking robot like his his And those moments are the weirdest.

1:02:32 Tuesday Wednesday Thursday like you're doing a real week in a place, you know by a time Saturday rolls around you're a wizard Just like Charles it's unavoidable yeah, you ever play snooker. I know I have not played tournaments in America. these were old old men. And if you lose them a dollar. I mean, these were old, old men. Or he'd go, yeah, you bet.

1:05:13 Oh, okay, and they were all snooker tables. We had two pool tables and then two snooker tables and gamble. on them and they don't do like weird stuff with them. American cue balls are larger. We have like a university that you go to learn how to play snooker right like you know they have that they have like real Yeah, watching these matches cuz you you know, you're stuck in a hotel room before your show Yeah, so you just watching what do you guys watch and they're all watching snooker?

1:07:33 Three cushion billiards was the real game back in the day. That they do that with pool too. Okay, that's just a score line But what it really does is if you learn this game, it teaches you how billiard balls move So it is really a thinking person's game. I can't I'm a DD to the max I watched like 10 minutes. I'm like where why is the ball still there?

1:10:11 You have to be so precise. Just in pockets, yeah. Soccer never stops. it's fucking exciting as shit. No excess fat. And it's the only sport I wouldn't yell at It was the goalie's dad Oh no. Lights out yeah in front of their mom by the mom screaming obscenities Especially people that have never competed in a sport before you don't know how fucking distracting that is

1:14:22 Okay, and those people were animals and those people were they their parents fought in World War one Jesus Christ He stole my identity when I was in high school and ruined my credit. No! Yeah. And I was because my car was in the shop. Just typing like motherfucker. You will go crazy. Yeah. Yeah, you'll barely keep it together. Yeah Because he had stolen your identity?

1:16:44 You couldn't get a phone line. I just need his social security number. Way early. Yeah, I remember my first exposure to comedy nine or something like that I was like this is so funny you know and then when Oh, wow. I'd never seen someone do stand-up comedy moving around It was like, all he's doing is talking. And I said well, I'm fucking my sister Some of those guys that are like real good like that for whatever reason people never find out about him now

1:21:01 Woods. The Earl of Sandwich. And I woke up this morning, I got myself a ham hock! No, I haven't buttoned this jacket since I bought it. She's thinking if I fall fall she's fucking dead a lot of fat Stand-up comedy. Let's let's just put it into perspective. What the fuck is there? Then you get Mortsal, you get- They were just being jokey-joke guy. Yeah.

1:26:12 What Mike Ward? Thank you I think I butchered it. see, let's find out what the specifics of it are. United States. It doesn't have a First Amendment. They have hate crime laws. So they have weird When did we have him on? the jokes. They should be encouraged to be better people. him at a show. It says 22,500 for that one. And then the MC came up and he goes,

1:29:47 And I go she's on your fucking money And the only way to prevent people from being mean So like then you don't get funsies because that's just funsies I mean this kid we got in a scrap and we both got brought to the principal's office and we got paddled Well, yeah, especially when you get into high school, and then boom, the factory opens. And it's always the guys that fucked first

1:32:59 They're all filming it and then we wonder why does nobody want to be a teacher? Repeated over and over think about your dad like how did that happen that didn't happen. I choose not to think So to expect that child to come out of that environment and then go to Yale and be fine Cuz even if even if you do escape it sometimes some part of you misses it and thinks now you're not being normal

1:34:54 Like if you're gang banging like that, you're alive. They really would. but the love they have with the people that they would literally kill people for and they're all together and they make money together and they're partying together amounts in one day, right which in his legs in all positions and a pit bull was eating his dick. I was like, yo, I do not need to see this for go on stage. Like this is horrific. This huge

1:37:50 And 2021 I see for Afghanistan 5200 civilians were killed. It's people in Afghanistan that are killed Western all told so Western soldiers. It's comparable I mean it's a city rather that Frank Sinatra It's perfect. Yeah, he rolled his eyes and it sounds cool, but when would you ever want to are you gonna choose to listen to that any day? Is that that guy that covers all of the songs?

1:40:03 And just say who the guy is. Yeah, that's really good. The thing about that guy is so he sounded exactly like Sinatra Well, he's like, I make money. This is like a business for me. Like this isn't and I'm into a sketch where they play all of the parts, me, I think Marques Brown they was bringing it up that Like sometimes you get suckered into clicking on a link

1:43:38 Page it's in multiple pages. There's multiple hits and then they're getting the ad revenue off of that Yeah, so he like put like a cookie in someone, but the way it used to do it, they would say, It's so easy. and then they can send ads out to people You're trying to watch porn, Always. I'll just yell Alexa make my daughter stop talking to me, and she's like we have an Alexa now

1:46:38 I think Marcus Brownlee just released a video where he was examining Yeah, that's going to be weird. Close enough where she decided she was gonna sue. They're like fuck you. I'm suing you people were sending me a car commercial for a while But the clip that we played it was her like bedtime talking Do you remember? Okay, she played this alien that seduced men and like

1:49:34 This is, it's a crazy movie. Ha ha ha. You're in real trouble I'm way under an interdimensional water system. What do you think is going on with all this UFO talk? About the alien thing. I'm more interested. Sure. I'm like, what is this? What the fuck is going on? It might be something that's always been here. gets attached to that right and then people, you know, 10 years from now, tell that story.

1:52:47 It gets very weird to the point it's like, okay, if this is a mass illusion, if this people with myths that make up myths about comets and natural disasters and all kinds of other stuff and also 100% am convinced our government drones that work on some incredibly sophisticated But so they just they're just fucking with them. Oh, yeah, I went into it was dark when I got home,

1:55:20 Sure. culture rather, to worship a bunch of different things or to talk about a bunch of things that They know there's a thing called gigantopithecus. An anthropologist was there and he found these massive primate teeth a very incomplete skeleton of these things but they know that it was a real then you go across the Bering Land Bridge, right? like in mud that they've now carbon dated

1:58:46 You have saber-toothed tigers. You have giant sloths. You have all these They don't find a whole lot of like saber-toothed tigers. They don't find a whole lot of things that existed before Yeah, that would be fun. that were taking place. Like breathing with my shoulders. Yeah, this is wild. I don't want to see this she says it over and over and over again. This isn be unburdened by what has been? Like she says it over and

2:02:46 When the fucking guy who's the photographer is a wizard that guy who got that photograph? So you can see as the bullets start flying I mean the Trump story is right out of a movie and I'm hoping it's not a Stephen King movie came out while we've been recording Secret Service ramped up security after receiving and she tries back to do it again and Yeah, that's an audition I could nail.

2:05:21 You know, high ready with the gun, scanning the area, Yeah, look at this. His head and he's dead and then we to watch this, the most bombastic and manly of presidents, you know, for lack of a better term, to see him with these two female bumbling He's 20 years old, and then you find out And then now you have people flooding from the left being like all right, yeah, that's a good quote

2:08:43 Well to Shay young troll, touche. and you're like, what? And you're looking like, how is it? He was saying it funny. who knows what the fuck the full context of it is, but 20, 20 years old and he's got this idea and he pulls it off. shut the fuck up. I'm the greatest angel. much They went through that for years in here and then you start going. Okay

2:11:57 this is bullshit, this is impossible, it could not happen. I mean there's a lot of people around that are making these things and I will tell you I still believe Yeah, and tell everybody everything he is if he wasn't doing that other stuff Correspondent Center. Do you remember that the White House press? of the United States. Because this is when Trump was trying to claim that Obama's from

2:14:56 why trump was like uh-huh i'll fucking show you because you do not want that fucking guy on your bad side. Well, this is the first time I've ever meant this but thanks Obama He believes wholeheartedly that we're in a simulation. You can't be penetrated with a bullet and they're fun to drive. And it's bulletproof. billion years old. therefore we are most likely in a simulation so this is on my podcast he said that but then there

2:18:35 on a quantum level. And when you're looking at them and measuring them, they have a different and photons are quantumly entangled, There's like things like the Fibonacci sequence. There's like mathematical ratios that exist in all of nature That's where it gets weird. I think when you go to bed like who the fuck knows what happens harmony that's the Chinese symbol for duality and harmony and that is

2:21:22 away they come back they move around you don't know where the fuck they went. Like what is this? It's magic. It's basically something recreate a yin-yang symbol programmed into the photon generating apparatus. recreating this symbol based on what's happening. I don I think they're saying that they're recreating this symbol It's on here. No, no, a little lower. This method is exponentially faster than

2:23:57 Like what is a photo? Okay. Let's go look at some of this like give me an image Google image of a photon Is that what it looks like? holography a well-described undisturbed reference wave is superimposed Maybe in their world, maybe if you but here's where it gets really screwy, right? Maybe if you believe in Jesus, it's real but I act as if God is real. And if you act as if God is real, you will have a better life.

2:26:28 I don't know I bet to me God is like year-round Santa in Goldilocks zones on planets like ours. We want it to be like a guy with rules. up in a fucking clay pot and Qumran, and they found them and deciphered them. People were freaking out, They're like, you're ruining our whole gig. There's something that happened that there's too many similarities. And even I always say this,

2:30:00 Happened and if it's the beginning and it's light, maybe it's maybe it's birth Niceness comes back if you're a dick in traffic I think it kind of makes sense, and then it doesn't. I just want. You know that's the problem fucking put my sock on my hand and I go is this what you guys wanted and I started doing that fucking and then Dunham comes back and he goes this isn't gonna work this

2:33:03 They'd have to bring it down to 350 to make room for him to move through Such a good bit and he would crush And I would I don't think I would have been able to keep doing comedy without him. Oh, that's nice. And I don't think I would've been able to keep doing comedy Oh no! months like what yeah but that there were so many guys like that in Boston although you can do a lot of that now in New York.

2:35:27 Have to do that And he just fucking screamed in my face. I thought he was gonna punch me the face. So I'm sitting there watching this guy and I'm just like William black keys want to see it Super, super, super nice guy. and the guy before him was like this really high energy guy. But that was a guy that once he found once people knew who what they would go to see him and he would murder

2:38:11 It helps you remember everything, I guess. This is such a weird cadence just such a silly unique cadence and how to find this audience because he's so good, and he's so infectious. Mashed potatoes, come on man, That's been a long time too doesn't even seem like it Yeah, just went up to Canada to die. No, so yeah So they're they're talking like it's the big killer and so they're talking maybe they they figured one of them out

2:41:42 died So many people wanted to be like, But if you're Richard Jenning and you wanna be in movies, was amazing. But for whatever reason, we put so much weight on profundity. Makes an undeniable point that's very funny. My pleasure, it's a lot of fun.