Joe Rogan Experience #2178 — Sam Morril Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience Really fun. Create something with like this intention. And you kind of hope I don't know if it was two different rooms. I think at one point in time. It was just one room But it's got, that building's alive, man. I don't believe in fate necessarily. I don't not believe in fate, but I'm not like one of those people that's like preaching it.

2:31 I wanna say almost 15 years ago together, I was such a fucking young idiot really I have a license I passed the test but I'm dog shit it's not that hard You're good socially. I failed two tests in New York, they were in the Bronx, It was like- Oh, okay, something minor. If everything goes sideways and there's no more Uber and no more Lyft and you have to

4:42 No, I don't know. Does he oh I did a gig with him once and he was we did a gig in Edmonton together We're not gonna be able to perform out here. Like, can we do fucking anything? I felt so, whenever something bad happens in New York That was Canadian smoke. That was Canadian smoke that was weird the orange thing was weird They still wouldn't let him go on stage. They saw him on the fucking roof and they didn't

7:35 Apparently there's another one of a bullet going by his left side of his fat organized assassinations before sure and when they organize usually starts a war Yeah, what is this the end of shaft? Yeah, it seems like a bad movie from the 70s. Psh. Someone said he was using iron sights. Can you find out? But he wasn't like set up in advance. He just went up there, right?

10:13 what the fuck are you doing? But whatever it is all of it stinks every part of it stinks and every person who talks about him like everything's bullshit now these Maybe that guy's dad is an alcoholic who beats him. We can work you into the program, you can be one of us. right, like they immediately- He's the biggest indicator, the biggest piece of evidence

13:30 Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone or he was just a patsy. and shit yeah yeah the whole story sucks yeah the whole story seems like he was Listen, we do it too. But, like, if you read, I was reading a Putin book, and literally every chapter just ends with a guy, She wrote a book on Putin? Yeah. Didn't he have like a stomach cancer? that the FDA won't approve and they'll try all this stuff that's like the good

16:23 You can't do it, but you'll help me a lot by the way. I think I told you this. Yeah, how's your neck now? I was like, I'll just hoop. So I just, you're holding your neck up. Yeah. more extreme because now your body's producing less testosterone less human That's the thing too, practical strength. Yeah, you just wanna not be old. And really even cardio's not enough,

18:50 It's like a compounded benefit because you get the benefit of that And then you get out of there and you're like, ah. and we organized cities Yeah, and you know people the problem is people have like lifting weights in their head a lot of people You know what? I mean like a guy who has a lot of... Sure, a lot of resources. A lot of resources. and really into athletic shit and training and sports,

21:05 It's like we put things into two different boxes either you like really into your body or you're really into your brain I saw I was like the pint Liz who manages the Comedy Cell that will drink martinis out of a pint glass and I'm like I know it's a cool bar. It's a great bar I love about and look I'm a New Yorker toy dial never move, but what I love about

23:30 wait till it gets warm like this is the dumbest approach to snow management ever stress and now they think it has something to do. I think stress hurts it. Oh, I hate to sound like a Jewish They're like, everything's bad, basically. And they're like, what do you mean work? And then, so then we did that. because he wants every meal to be like a fucking home run

25:46 Really? I'm like, yeah, you're like a fucking drug addict. commonly thought that stress smoking and diet were the principal causes of to kill the infection and acid-suppressing drugs. Antibiotics are tricky. He has the craziest stomach issues, the guy looks like a Greek god. or if he just self-prescribed, I had a doctor back in the day, he was like,

28:50 Pretty women. Yeah, $34,000. Oh shit. Yeah, if you make Also depends on the state you live in though, It's so bad. You can't imagine it. Yeah I will have a great time in any city for a night or two. It could be horrible. It's like their horse racing thing you bet on the horses and everyone is so well dressed like seersucker The Kentucky Derby is decadent and depraved you've ever read that I haven't fucking amazing. It's good great piece

32:29 Well, yeah, I just started watching it a little bit and it's it's I mean, it's here now, right? But it feels like you're going like one right in those things especially if someone knows how to drive. Oh dude This is like knowing the angles and knowing when to turn and just it's all any sport Anytime you think in sports, it's fucking over. he's like so angry, like from all these guys

34:42 but he's doing it in like mascara, Oh my God. Like you see Mack and we're like breaking a rack That's a weird court. sees him as a kid and he's just like looking for a game don't need a house how much money you want to play for and his dad goes how And his dad it's like his dad did it imagined like you're thinking about your family's mortgage and your siblings in their future

37:35 I bet one of the best, I mean evil motherfuckers obviously, but yeah some people We had no physical contact for months. Really? So he was a sociopath from the time he was, Then he's in Harvard, he's a genius, and part of the studies were humiliation, has a point like it's gonna destroy the human race and eventually take over us Damn, yeah. technology makers

41:00 Like he knew something he knew too much and they threw him out a fucking window It's it's always one words like was there a note right and even if there was a note they could have fudged that but the official and right in front of me. You don't like accept it as real, you know? She muttered something like I'm cold and my friend's mom saw it and she went into a store and got her a blanket

43:31 and I just wanted to talk to someone and she's like, all right, well, Elliot's not home right now. I was like, that minutes straight. No way. And then she's like, how was your day? I was like, I just saw someone die. And she's like, all right, well, Well, I think. That's a very specific kind of person. I think she just didn't know what to say. I know.

45:02 On the roof. Let's assume not even this scenario. Let's not the roof. Let's assume, not even this scenario, because let's not be crazy. and you know that once he gets on top of that roof and shoots the president everyone's gonna shoot him He's not dead so lucky the country like I believe in that I and I and I words. Yeah. And the right, like the right real feeling behind it

46:57 Biden is like, we have to put aside our differences. There should not be place for assassinating people. It's the death of democracy. It's like chaos. they were dipping like a motherfucker. There's so much going on and Ukraine and in Israel This then also says his father reported it missing later that night. See what it says it Crookes father reports his son missing along with his rifle

50:09 How they ran a DNA test? Yeah, I did it. in the bar, she ordered it for me, and then I was like, I'm a fucking idiot. There's certain people where certain genes so if they could find like a particular vulnerability I think but for the biological thing, I think it's like One of those sold their whole database. And I think- By the way, do you get the alerts where they're like, we found another family member for you. I'm good.

53:15 cheerful. The taste of cilantro, some people it tastes like soap. Do you like it or not? I like it. battlefield and make them inoperable. It can be sold off with very little intellectual property protection or privacy protection. think it's just because there's too much shit to pull from. Thousands and thousands of hours, and we're comedians. but I think you know I saw him two months ago in Nashville he is off it's

56:16 It's time. It's time. You see that big fucking meaty hand reach across beer cuz I could just start it early just keep a nice slow burn. Dude you're Stanhope is like, and he's so cool. It's like- For sure. the guys getting ripped off at the mics and I was like, I fucking was obsessed No, I love comedy history shit like that. I was like, yes! no one's ever heard?

59:05 And he goes, yeah, 500 last week to a whore. and you're easy, you know? it's like young Robert Downey Jr. It was a good show. Yeah, Bon Jovi there. Nice. I was barely paying attention to Bill Cosby cause I was trying to pick up this girl Just murder so he went through this phase of his career towards the end where he would go on stage in a bathrobe on and slippers and just murder.

1:01:22 and they'd just be hanging out. this huge performing arts place. it's fucking perfect. So many in a row so many great one-liners and they start to pick up and they start giving an applause break and just pauses But he was you know, it was interesting just to see him. It's just weird. Was he cool. Yeah, he's round I loved it. Dude, I remember the lineup.

1:03:42 he opens with this joke. Oh, he was hilarious. Yeah, he was an LA guy that for whatever reason it never made it, you know, That's one of the reasons why like having his handwritten notes on the wall That's how good he was. I was very fortunate that I had good comics looking out for me when I was a young comic and the culture in New York is Where they're like, if this doesn't work,

1:06:31 I'm excited when I see funny young comics. Then they're gonna become like, you know, it's it's all good for the culture, you know, it is but other than that, he was pretty cool. and there's a gang of them at that club. and you're starting at 11-30 I'm kind of like guys come on fucking turn it So they're like, so they- I don't give a shit, but like,

1:08:45 I don't know. So how did that get you banned? And like, you know, I wasn't a huge act. as she should have been to me. Did they have anything specific that they were saying to your agent? I just wanted them club Egos. But I think you do raise people up there there which I don't think is normal I really I Night back then I remember I auditioned so you do a lottery. It's like over a hundred comics

1:11:38 I gotta go on for 10 people now. This is crazy It is good because it makes you like, I how bad you want this shit, right? We need them. pay you right but the thing is it's like there's a separation between the people making venture at all so the money structure is different the comedians get They're just not making an insane amount of money Yeah. You know what I mean?

1:14:28 I'm like, I'm not I don't want to sound here like I'm no I love clubs like comedy works in Denver but you know I mean like they do an hour there in the back but like you got to know they've always been fucking really good, you know make up with hyenas That's such a shit move. So I also sports is another thing like comedy like there's no guarantee you may make it. You may not make it

1:17:32 Just like it always did like Shane was saying that after his last special now the stuff he's doing now is arguably the funny shit Killing I'm like I'm a fucking hack because it's you know it works like shit. Yeah, it's challenge to work too easy add it on stage the next day and then Tony's like one line did that come from And it's 90% of the time it's shit,

1:19:23 it's funny for what a sitcom sign-phone was, Well, they're all going after him with the Palestine stuff now, so they're interrupting and he's just funny Demanded and even then they'll move they'll move what it is I actually don't really listen to Cosby, but I do think I can I do it with movies all the time like I don't I did it to that don't come out about it. I know You know how many people don't know what happened

1:22:15 It's a bait and switch and it's the most manipulative thing and one of the things you get from those guys the creepiest of them It was like, I was fucking a black girl. is more offensive than me raping a person. I was a young seller comic the times like 2013 and I showed the column and he goes the most fucked apart is she omitted Jezebel, Tormey to Shreds.

1:24:02 I was just like being a contrarian. I was like, everyone's doing these like trans bad. It's the person who fucking tried to cancel me in 2013. It's your body do that, well, it's and I accept whatever you fuck you choose to eat your body But then let's look into your own life. I guarantee you're a mess so you know uh I signaling to all his liberal followers and he's trying to be cool and he

1:27:03 He said he was blindsided by it and that he doesn't support hate speech. That's what it is. No, I really think that's what the decision was really funny. It's the last free movie. They don't do it anymore dude. You can't do a That was- Yes. But he's great. He's great. But if you didn't know Tom Cruise at the time was Top Gun I saw but if you watch someone play guitar and you don't know how to play guitar I don't know

1:30:07 I love Tom Hanks, but yeah, it's not fucking, like Louis did with Louis. you make New York like disgusting and ugly, She goes, it was canceled. and and he wrote like a long thing back just being like that was like a really He goes, I like doing it on this little thing. everybody. Well he also was trying to do like a Jackie Gleason like sitcom me type thing and his strength is being himself, right?

1:32:41 Did joke what I said? It's a joke that I did in the joke Had a handicap line, but his hope no one sees this hit harder and I was like there we go Tough crowd and they're like and then they're like, all right, they have to like give it up a little bit. I was good Yeah, it's fucking it's a it's a great thing. It's like you have a toy that you find it

1:34:33 Recently? Yeah, I love that when people are doing that, though. At part of it, once you think you're not, Yeah. I hate that feel I mean dude. I first it happens a lot when you do like well I mean, but I like not even that many comics do anymore when you watch an old one and you're like I always look at the opener, Yeah, yeah. I always tell that for guys on the road,

1:37:37 Well, you know if they're not laughing hard at least like okay every joke is fucking killer. or excuse me, he had a house in Beverly Hills wasn't they become a I felt like it could fall apart at any moment. Me and my wife were looking out the window at the fire coming over the hill and That's awful. Three separate times we had to get evacuated. This is one of the reasons it freaked me out. One of the times, I'm wearing a LA fire department show.

1:40:58 he goes, dude, one day, he goes, and there's not going to be a thing we can do about it. that there's nothing they can do. and I got a bunch of gigs. take the 405 to the this take Don't worry about it. had invested and saved money to make this house and built this house and his So we're just gonna have you go up first and then if he gets here. He'll go on after you. I'm like okay

1:44:22 Never watched it, but that's what that that's the thing about this cable news, like I watch it, I'm just like, why would I watch this? you shouldn't talk to your parents. Dude, we've all done those benefits drinking on muscle relaxers, like silence, He goes, it's a benefit for a guy But I, I, yeah, I was like, Yeah. You want a check? I'll send you a check. I'm not performing, but if it's walking distance

1:46:29 I know, but it's not, are you gonna notice, like some people I know that do these fucking things, but you're gonna feel that bomb I know he hasn't, but clearly a producer's a fan of mine. Well, I sent you that stuff on him. And they're like, I'm sorry, I just have to go out and do that. Oh, yeah, right That was a weird segment, but I actually I get off on that a little bit

1:49:21 I know you're not admitting that I'm not saying school shootings are okay, I'm just saying this joke works. Well, that position of being that guy in the suit Yeah, those idiots like that. It's funny because the producers were like quoting my bits. They knew who I was and yeah let's hear it to hate but then you hold one and you're like i kind of get it you know we

1:52:20 and You know, yeah, but but I said that the elf Al Sharpton he was like, yeah, he like went with it You just bullshitted people. like, so why is that funny? And I'd be like, are you fucking kidding me? I and all my friends are like you're a psycho for going on morning shows. Cause like, yeah, Stavros and Norman are like, So they were, the guy came in the green room

1:54:27 But the guy was fucking with me in the green room. And I was like, all right. was never gonna be back on Good Morning Salt Lake I was like oh no and then and It's like, you know what? I'll throw on good morning America in the bed Yeah, but you need to know that those people exist and that there's a bubble and those people exist in a bubble and they all

1:56:45 Yeah, I wish I knew him big pop and he goes I only did the first two I'm like it was a joke I don't know you had to do like 60 seconds versus 60 seconds It's like they take you out back and fuck you in the ass Yeah, well, we knew each other. He's like I go. I thought you quit cigarettes. I did but we were talking about it. I wanted one And you know you see so many videos of him online now like anytime anything comes up

1:59:37 I felt the same way about Greg Giraldo and about Patrice. and you know, and he was the master at it. You know a point like that was Damon Wayans thing with no material. Wow. And I saw him just a few years back, Like there was no, he was silence. When you have a TV series for those guys, especially that were in the 90s, and then the sitcom job is so easy,

2:02:44 That was my whole thing. So I was like, oh no you like we make money touring now. That's like, I don't understand like because he came up in the air in the 80s We was like, oh, I'm looking for a sitcom. That was my whole thing. So I was like, oh no But I was like that's what I make on a sitcom like it's the same money Funny, funny fucking human beings, great crew,

2:03:47 Maura Tierney, I mean, Yeah, he's like, he's in everything, I feel. Yeah, I was like conspiracy theorists and you know all that stupid shit, but I love when they write that shit in yeah you do a table read and then after you get the table read, him or he is not supposed to know what we're talking about. This stuff like why do you care like when we were on the sitcom together?

2:05:51 Yeah, people change. The thing is I got super lucky for sure in a lot of these things But it's like all those things, you know, especially like working for the UFC and doing stand-up and podcasting It was the most getting of the season Jets shit that has ever happened. Because- He's a great guy. I wonder when he's gonna be 100%. It's amazing. Yeah, and in that stadium they have in Dallas. The stadium is fucking insane. I've never been

2:09:06 It's 20 blocks from me. I'm in and out, you know, even a Yankees game He's the best fucking hitter in what, 50 years? You have to separate- we've talked about this before- yeah- separate the fucking game from that. head gets everything got big his neck got big his shoulders got big probably I just read this Joe DiMaggio book and every fucking every

2:11:27 But you know, it was such a cool, I mean, like by a mile, he's hitting 60 homers a year, ah, he's like the, he's like one of the best players ever. He'd be like, is anyone touching my record? Oh, he put him back. Blames RFK for killing his fucking I mean just like it's crazy these dudes lost their career because they had to serve in the war like isn't that

2:14:13 Well that makes sense why Ted Williams They're all fucking damaged from the war I mean if you're George W and you're sitting around your ranch in Texas and no He's not there shooting pigs out of a helicopter. He's he's you know doing like sensitive shit, so you know he's thinking they're cordial, they were just trying to debate shit and it's gonna have to swing back to civility at some point yeah I think

2:17:00 Dumping on someone's killing. we need a president who doesn't speak like this. it was like, yeah, the sound bites are working. Like that's how you know well that's what got all these news organizations Who was it that asked him the question? And you see her just like, oh my god. Only Rosie O'Donnell. For the record, it was well worth it. yes i'm sure it was

2:20:25 Get him back on coke give him Bud back on Coke. Give him Budweiser. That last line fucked me. man that was scary as fuck well that's what they're always trying to scare us Like, you look back, like, people said the same thing about, like, everyone hated Eisenhower, Maybe I don't know whatever motivation whatever fuck it takes you to keep us from killing each other. He does terrify me

2:22:23 They thought they could get away with it How many of those stories were bullshit? I can talk to like are you fucking stupid? But with podcasts, podcasts got bigger than them and they hadn't realized it yet. By a lot I mean that's I mean, he goes, I just saw Mark Norman at the Beacon. I'm sure he's probably OK. You got a break. You got like Simpson's reruns and you're like,

2:24:44 weren't reading everything that's going on in fucking Sudan It's like the most distorted version of reality ever. So it's the people that are there, you know, they're kind of realizing like we need humor humor so we can't help but do a confrontation. And we're just looking at each other like, And Gary goes, you're a nobody. Like that like that's how he's like a New York kid Wow and she turns

2:26:57 But like most people are so cool that you need most people are like good when it was like, you just led with other shit. Yeah. And they have to trauma bond with you. to the truckers they seized their bank accounts like yeah that's not a good Yeah. I just think they're so far into tyranny right now like the laws But it used to be amazing. And they don't realize, like, compelled speech has a terrible ending.

2:30:04 Yeah, I think you just gotta, you just gotta be pro-free speech. is enforced to get people to follow a doctrine that they may or may not believe in. for all the shit people will say about Elon, You are burying certain trigger words that you think might be offensive enough and hurt ad sales When they went into it and they were like, oh my god, the government was literally trying to stop legitimate

2:31:41 People used to get their accounts suspended a lot Everyone's changing. Excuse me during the election time now. They're really clamping down on that And like, I'm telling you about this. Yeah, they shouldn't be silenced and try to figure out a way to get your stuff seen and heard. Yeah, and it should take you a minute Isn't that crazy that it's such a beautiful thing

2:34:48 we're very fortunate to have this outlet for that, you know? It's an amazing feeling to laugh at something and to be able to do that for a living I'm like, we're gonna puke in the water. And you're like, oh yeah, he had that joke about like fucking, but me, I'm a Biden man, And he's another guy that just doesn't, I sat for the whole set, which I don't ordinarily do.

2:37:07 Like, he does that thing at the end Yeah. He's great, I love that though. You know I learned that from him. He had like the local paper. I was like local and he's bringing the heat. I remember we were doing a road gig once It's like do do do do do do do do do do it makes the same he was sitting here You see it with him, the results speak for themselves.

2:39:52 I think he just moved there. I haven't seen him forever Wow Thank you so much, man. Prime's doing a bunch of them now, huh? No, they've been good to me and then I got that. I got, you know, I'm all over. I got like Miami, Baltimore. It's like Patreon, but I don't take money money I just want email so I can blast you when I Thank you, man. Bye. Bye.