Joe Rogan Experience #2186 — Ari Matti Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Need more hot takes? Head to the FanDuel Sportsbook app. They've got more ways to bet, more ways What did you ask? position is... Well okay. Hold on. It's coming from a different place though also. Yeah very different. Let's just say financially we're Oh! Spotify's going to do that with... Right. We do that all the time. We say things we don't mean

3:07 great Tulsi Gabbard is about if you know you really wanted a great Democratic It's crazy, right? Bro, it's crazy. But you can do amazing things now with AI. I never met Steve Jobs. glitches in the matrix because you're a person who's also around technology the few that are really high on our priority list because if you try to do too many things none of

6:04 sound like we're in the same room. What is it called? Engine five? Is that what it's called? Because they're waiting to see how this AI thing plays out. Yeah, because let's be honest green screens and shit Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys can do this now? There's something about daytime footage Whenever I want to nerd out about electronics, but you will cease to exist right here, right now.

10:00 unattached from a body but trapped And what all you're doing is you're so smart you're not feeling the things with your physical body Remember how shitty? Yeah Zion looked like Like, even if AI creates the perfect act, the perfect ha ha ha laughs per minute, there's when you see a singer on stage, didn't know shit about you I don't know shit about music I don't know how to

13:18 Nothing, this connection, nothing's happening. But then I remember we started having, because it was turning, we had blues nights on Tuesdays, and the owner would fly out Dedede is doing a whole different shit right now, right? Especially art. Kazaa, iMesh? Metalic a suit Napster, you know? a bomb just went off and you could either recognize anybody else's, and then get it up there quick because like that's they should

16:59 up for sure let bitches know for sure still around for sure you know but We had a tracks a dress and then we had cassettes and then we had compact discs. Yeah, we only got cassettes where I remember that my attention was actually not raped by technology that much, but I had with just regular cell phones. answering some emails, you got a blackberry.

19:43 Yeah, so I'm almost 57. And then it got to a point where you could call your own phone and get your answering What's up, you know and then VHS tapes come along? to blockbuster on friday night you see what's the fucking latest movies. what is the industry right now that doesn't even know? and clamoring for power right now. headed towards whatever this is and no one knows and I think that's one of the

22:40 answering machines, we got VHS tapes, then we got computers, then we got online, and you got in the right and I remember like jacking off and half way through a Really? We all stare at each other's dicks. Yeah it's normal you know. And then sometimes the shower shower would be a bit warm and you would get a little bit of a vein going there I used to talk to him all the time, my friend Eddie,

25:41 gonna do? And he was like dude it was crazy. crazy. He goes, I used to have to stop people and there's just 800 gay dudes wearing fuck. I used to actually work out at a gym I'd just go lift with these like hungry gay dudes. Yeah, that's the one that's not West Hollywood. It's like East Hollywood. Yeah I remember there was an older guy in my gym remember then I started thinking it's when I was like younger and that was the

28:20 Hey, you know I'm not gay, so what are you doing? Dix, it's Dignation, you know, it's Estonia. So I'm in the sauna. I hear the and I look through the fuck in all the other separation boots they had a small He's showing you that he's got a dick. I just got sexually assaulted, actually. hey, and we're laughing about it. I go, this fucking old guy. got an exit strategy yeah that's what's what he does. He's a shower

31:38 watching someone stare at my Johnson who wants him. In our culture, when I was a little kid, That's what I'm saying. You know, on Instagram they have that little... to wear I'm just saying it's so different than shorts like if a dude That is an inflamed body. No problem at all have one of them ones that dangles off your foot a little bit, not all the way on. No one cares.

34:50 And that's formal. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah. And it's nice. be almost naked. It's hot. And then we get to the dance floor and she just my arm and I'm like, where is this? The survivors. Whoa? Well, they're everywhere now, too. A little pouch. How? A bag. How does that, I mean, develop a backpack it is the insane is evolutionary a little yeah how a bag how

38:40 your tail and do like a Steve-O kick? Kick you hard! And do like a Steve-O kick. They can kick you hard. That the gray ones are the big ones or the red one? it. Jesus Christ. The red kangaroo. That's the big one? Yeah. Dude, more soupy. That sounds Flaunting giant muscles. Because there's no infestations of wild animals bit. They're fast but it's also like why are there so many of them?

41:26 What the fuck is that? Okay, the Tasmanian tiger that went extinct. Thylacine? Tasmanian wolf. That movie with, there's a good movie about a guy who goes to kill it because they're Yeah, it looks like a tiger. It's it's a weird marsupial of land god damn it this concrete that's crazy at the last of these things alive doesn't know. Dude I was in Massachusetts once and I was on my way home from this

44:51 It's a horrible thing to watch, all so shitty yeah but he doesn't even know that he's in a totally wrong he Well, you shouldn't have him in the first place. I'm also I'm into cycling now and sometimes I'll cycle out of the city I've always been a pig. Of course I want to do that. When the bomb goes off, you hear the first recoil. goofy place is being run uh-huh they're pushing us closer and closer to something

48:21 And it's having this tremendous impact on the way people see the news. fuck is real and so anytime anything happens even when the president gets There's bank vault doors that lock to make sure the marauders don't get in Yeah. you, if they make more money, if they don't tell you, you can't have that. You can have certain companies can advertise on the news and then you'll never criticize

50:45 crazy you can kind of mention cigarettes because people are so stupid they're my childhood because it's like the red beautiful marble design in They're having that with friends have a cocktail clink salute you know congratulations yay clink glasses But that's why it's so exciting is that life is not infinite and you do take those small risks and that's what's

53:26 God. So you hear him throw up every day? Every day. Oh my God. You know, there's no throw up left, the time get him quick little airline ones yeah and uh the his hands you know when the sobriety because your addiction is giving you all green lights. the detachment of the soul. It's such a creepy fucking. The more I found out which is true because I hated him. I fucking hate he was uh, you know

56:27 get fucked up all the time. They get injured, something happens, they take them, they don't want to stop. Norman Oehler. That should be before all that stuff happened in his mind Oh, amphetamines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. were running tests on the prisoners they were running tests on concentration they get and they had different dosages for different people so if someone's in

1:00:02 It's death metal. clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, like being like a Russian soldier or something and you're with a Yeah, nobody I watch it. It's an amazing movie. I heard it's awesome. I heard that's the new one, right? Ah, really? I watched all the war movies. I was too young when I saw it. The Apocalypse Now.

1:02:36 They can't even come close to hit them. Like that's war, I think, in a much more realistic light. You know you have no way to check it and even questioning it would be in bad taste Because you've never been invaded, so. And that trauma must be bad when you're coming back, any sense and no one today thinks it made any sense. Like you couldn't even come up with justifications.

1:05:49 There's no reason for us to be over there. You need to go over there and firebomb a village, And they did it for a long ass time. and realize that it had been manipulated At least today, you can kind of get a sense Is that someone has XY chromosomes? Yeah, it's that male. I'm going to send you this, Jamie, I found it and I'll send it to you Jamie. that doesn't. That doesn't mean that like there's a lot of girls out there boys that can kick your ass

1:09:58 what is it in biology when something is a male human being. Do they have an XX chromosome or do they have an XY? It's a bit of a pickle. I don't think they have eggs. The testing, the method of the testing, the idea of the testing, which happened kind of this article says that that originally right here the originally the test was Whether they were born like men or some changes

1:13:01 If you can test for testosterone, do it, first place if you let... I mean, you could say that some people have a genetic anomaly like that woman, she had X, X, Y, where it was the first time I saw where I on testosterone has been proven harder to KO because you're just ramped up. Testosterone, Oh. He would have those videos where he was like an elliptical machine and he was...

1:15:39 You can... it's like, it's like pirating. That's ultimate conspiracy theory. There'd be a fucking MMA camp on the North Pole. They would be like, who would be handing out shots at a bar? because it's hard. Fighting's really hard. be the man of the house, even though you're a child. I would literally dude I would have points where it's me and my And there would be, we would be on the sidewalk, you know.

1:19:16 he would travel the world and this was at a point where pride and UFC were happening but in from Fedor Emelianenko because he was Russian and he was a big prominent figure in the martial arts He's stomping people, holdinganderlei Silva, he's stomping dude, you're not gonna wrist lock this guy. into like doing it. Yeah. Yeah, I would not recommend that I would not recommend you getting your ass kicked by someone who has a lot more experience

1:22:19 30-something? That kind of guy probably boxed a little When you go to war and you can be in a competition I'm having a full-on panic attack Another like a Pakistani 16 where it's like hair on my knuckles and I have two kids. yeah mountain Russians. So high level. What I liked about Sandhagen in that fight, he used jujitsu. Stand up. His striking was on point, like everything was on point,

1:25:33 Yeah, he's racing good and him versus O'Malley would be wild Animal. That's the whole thing. Bad, had him really badly. But just, it's such a chaotic sport switch kick to the body Aljamain shot in the knee but then once he lost to Henry So to watch Umar beat him, I'm like, God damn, Umar's the truth. They keep coming. When you KO Volkanovsky like that,

1:29:06 But they're like the full Marauder. he could KO you with a head kick. He's the most dangerous man who's ever lived. pretty significant. Even when John was getting big, it's a difference in size. That's pretty significant. So you know, even when John was getting big Would Francis be able to keep John off him? As soon as he goes out him to sleep just dropped him

1:31:44 that thing you're very very the title more than anybody and you know he stopped Daniel Yeah. Being there live was incredible apex yeah do it being there live He thought he had him when he landed that right hand ah He's also 40 something years old right? 42 I think even. Okay so you got to if you just look Absolutely. when they asked him why he was ripping off Mike Tyson, he was like, you've got to keep the lion hungry, you know?

1:35:14 As soon as, because I was a big Conor guy, SPG, the lineage, we had the connection, you Lifestyle. I like the Aspenol. I was having a panic attack at 2 a.m. If you look at fights where John has had difficulty, Even Tiago Silva, no not Silva, no. exchanges, not like a refined striker. your neck and he's doubling you up in that position due to the reason of people being just that size of humans, there's a very small

1:38:37 So I had heard about this guy from an article saying that he, like no one wants to spar And a lot of people thought, round one but then he hit him with this sneaky ass uppercut like the fight But the really good boxers the guys who spar look at that uppercut that sneaky left uppercut Yeah skillful, yeah exactly. No, it was literally not even a proper punch. It was Francis just walked towards him like this. Yeah, just

1:41:17 of business, a lot of politics enters into the sport. Soccer is like that, basketball is like lots of politics, but like combat sports is like a dude that we'll see is people, gymnastics. They all do flips and shit. So that's when I started watching them practice and I was doing gymnastics like whoa and so Eddie's like started learning break dancing moves he's like

1:43:29 Yeah, my party trick used to be a backflip at a nightclub You need a pair of Origin jeans. Yeah, let me show you. Go to the origin website. All American made, everything, threads, everything. But there's a bunch of different companies Those are the ones I wore in the special. The other ones are really Yeah, he's got the slippery shoes Chuck didn't give a fuck about traction

1:46:04 have like a shirt with a collar ground. And then people are kicking you in the head with boots on yeah fuck that thing to open with. Yeah I grab I get a hold of that and I throw an overhand immediately, Not suing, but whatever settlement or, I mean it's still, people got hurt so it's still 19 year old kid, cool. This is out there wrong. go to Wong Wing Chun you know and there would be a master who said you know sparring is

1:49:32 I reckon if I'm low kick you, you're gonna feel something. where they teach you somebody had to actually be done I remember my friend that yeah I'm comfortable in a sparring environment mouth guard on and we're Also, probably not making good decisions And then he would just you know I don't want to see if it's really bad. Is that a knife fight? I'm a very no

1:52:33 And you're talking about wrist locks. Hey, thank you for being there Saturday night. It was a lot of fun. Oh. But then again and here's another point that I have to say that do you know how crazy it is that Right. people come out to see you, they'll have a good experience. Nobody's benefited more than me. That's the cool part about it. It's very supportive because they also know that that this all the stuff that's happening to you can happen to them all the stuff

1:56:08 How funny is that? How funny is that? I showed it to the door guys more white straight men like you don't think did you guys are you in the talent Two months, nothing's happening. Hello, I'm the guy. He's really good at it. They were co-hosts. So I remember when Sam, like, and then, yeah, so 8th of December, I fly over to Austin on Yeah, you got to get somebody.

1:59:42 Adam Eaget. when I had left. So I had left after the Carlos Mencia thing I was gone for seven It's just like, I just felt so fucked over. The whole thing was so gross. It was like fuck that place. But then Ari was doing a special there Okay, when I was on, I guess I was on either news radio and then all of a sudden, And so then I came back. And one of the things we started talking,

2:02:34 is a lot of times it's just the manager picking have open mic night? And we said two. let's do Sunday and Monday. So two nights, full open mic night. But that's normal, right? You got it yeah these are comedians dude yeah well It's the only thing they ever wanted to do in their life You see them you see Bryan Simpson constantly Ron White. He's ever been

2:05:17 out. Having a panic attack just like I am. And he loves when a bit bombs, he comes because he was the first guy. All right. What the fuck am I LA but I can't leave the store but once they shut the store down I was like oh all right what the fuck am I here for the crime As opposed to doing it as a business, right way is you bring the best people in the right way is you develop talent

2:07:15 I've read everything about the comedy story, Well, yeah. Quick. So the green room was just like regular green room. and both of us were in our notebooks for about 20 minutes, A lot about this the live things like first of all I said no when my manager called me said you want to do a lot different mood than the other night. Dude when you go on stage it's the rock city

2:10:03 They had like a spiritual person in their tribe. What was their goal was to made fun of everything, because if you couldn't make fun of anything, it was bullshit. They had like a spiritual person in their tribe, their goal was to make fun of everything. I was like God is this what that's perfect. That's letting you know there are no rules these are-

2:11:27 and so that's when all the UFOs started so for the comedy mothership with this If you believe that we were visited multiple times by alien life, a lot of it happened they took that wreckage and they flew it in two separate jets to Wright-Patterson Well, he saw, when he went in to see it for the first time Okay, but I love to believe it is. That's the one.

2:13:36 I'm like, great. And so a lot of people aren't that impressed with that. Yeah, that was a guy before him apparently and regulations so they don't destroy their souls. They're just trying to get that soul. It'll ruin the hard drive. We can't have your code my code mixing together. Oh, come on 51% of popular opinion, Because popular opinion amongst people

2:17:10 very vocal minority of people, and the majority of people know what jokes are. That's like, if you're a culture nerd, It hasn't even moved, but people dance around the line and gives it power. going on with your brother, dude? fun part of being a human yeah it's fun's fun. Yeah. And you know, that's the beauty of true diversity. Warrior, cameraman.. Yeah fat gay guys

2:19:56 Also, there are nights at the Little Boy because of the yonder banks and stuff. But it should be okay everywhere. It's okay in private company, right? Oh, absolutely Dislikes Sebastian, you know, everyone loves Sebastian. He was just at the club last night. Yeah, I brought him up amazing Okay, if you want to come on just because you're this or that, guess what? There's no room for that. You have to be good.

2:22:12 Right, so they're people that exist in the ecosystem into the cult of leftism. Well, that was different. That's what we're setting out to do. Because the green room is so fun that you go on stage from there when I filmed the special was huge, man. It's going to be five degrees outside. five degrees outside gonna be sleeping on the frozen ground it changes what the situation is.

2:25:09 You're just doing another set and also you're you were so well prepared that you were like the perfect guy to do that live special like, oh my God, is this really happening? but I can't just go up on stage Yeah, I listened to recordings. I watched videos. I wrote for like I just so I know that I'm ready, you know, The process is you write it exactly

2:28:12 anxiety of being like I want to deacquilate. I wanted to be the cool guy who gets the head kick, kisses the started the same year as me no nerdy class not physically not gifted at all a year later, I spar with him and this fucking nerd is fucking me up with a jab. Especially. to trust the process that's the process of writing exactly and this is one thing

2:31:05 that I had it fuckin' polished down. I think it was in Fortune magazine. Because the performance is just a byproduct. What was the other one? And then on Thursday they would start kicking. So hard. how many guys did, when you started coming, how many guys did you know who were so much five times a week? Also when you feel uncomfortable going to this new

2:34:38 you're a guy who does a lot of non sequiturs maybe you could piece They'd be even better and I think that because of my own personal experience with with writing a lot or theater. snuck through in some bizarre way that are still there. down. You're funny. You should have old notes. I ever want some more And there's a like a shelf in my mind that was there.

2:38:39 I'm taking a couple weeks off, but I'll be back. Yeah, hell. Yeah, dude. It's crazy and this was when, because I told you, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was big in Australia, but not like pack out the club, And in our head, you know how open mic, would say most just looking at the crowd what they thought of you and you get a this is not a crowd that for who Kim Kardashian

2:41:36 Transcends the reference right and I remember you were murdering so hard and that's when I was like Yeah, that was right when I was about to film Triggered. So you're on the balcony. And in my head, I'm like, I wish I could have just given you a fist bump you know but now nine years Anyway, again, thank you my brother. you. It's AriMattiComedy. AriMattiComedy on Instagram. Easiest way. You have a website?