Joe Rogan Experience #2256 — Ari Shaffir, Shane Gillis & Mark Normand Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience in the Hasidic community. You're gonna take it to the ocean, throw it in the ocean. He says you and the first thing you hear is That's a strong accusation bold no no just kidding What do you think is gonna happen when these people that are living in? But I see their point to if I was super poor yeah He's delusional. Oh, wow.

4:01 I'd pay some to be there. Yeah, that's Biden is used to like Secret Service around him his whole life Trump is a psychopath eyeball pokes, even to the most badass No, no, they need a glove that covers the fingers. it's real simple and then you have thumbs still but you're gonna Then I go home and show it to someone. I cried watching Home Alone on a plane every time.

6:49 Would have to pay for headsets yeah, I mean if you were cheap you just watch the movie with no sound yeah Hit out shitty disposable ones, which I know that is why they suck but they've got to be able to make them better they're all digital. slash rogin and check it out. It's wireless made simple. Terms apply. See their website I don't think so well you're hearing definitely goes down if you hear loud things

9:50 Because that's where he kept his phone I bet it's the amount of time on a bike. Yeah, right. That's gotta be brutal. I stay off those fucking things. Yeah It's not even a comfortable seat. Good, I'm not alone in my concern. Maybe it does up until a point like like tour de France Their tight shorts? Yeah the shorts, the pointy helmet. Shut up. Well the thing is when they get a group of them

13:30 What is it getting your skin Dorans listen to me fuck off basketball is ahead of wrestling fuck off when Daniel Cormier was telling me about this Russian dude that he could not be that guy's name is but he's an animal who's that new go Beatle Malley that guy's pretty? Alaska, okay. No, it was something frontier. So she there's a video of it. It's crazy

16:15 What was the base for that racial national or other one? Go talk between those two it's weird when these super mercenary killers just can't win Damn. Forget I'm major. You'll see the way. Fucking white ladies. Like, just let me tell you who that is. they don't That makes no sense. Should I call you Mr.? Julian Onzima....gay rights activist. Mr.... should I call you Mr.?

19:55 You are gay. I mean... I like it just shows you like Uganda you can you can complain all you want You know you're looking at a part of the world that's been war-torn and like sort of separate from they're like old school people this is like a They're like Leonardo can't do anything there's a video so I see Titanic is number one feeling there's Chappelle is Muslim right yes that that area how do you how can you be Muslim and drink though?

23:39 Love it. I watch on the plane and cry Fucking bit was so good. It's the whatever is the best way you can get that idea out and for Kinnison I would say hi to him. guy he fucked up he got really stand-up comedy fan I implore you you, this is what you do, you go listen to Louder Than Hell, Two amazing hours. He's so fat. It's just Eddie Murphy like these faggots and they're like yes

27:34 Find out what the capacity for that is. Would it be, hold on, hold on, would it be better just not even look it up? I've ever seen in my life, and then when I saw him live. I was like ooh. This is like. This is missing stuff Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, Sam was dead and what was he dead Jamie? He crushed. Yeah, Wikipedia says he won a contest open oh Go to DraftKings Sportsbook app and make your pick.

31:01 Gambling problem? It's one of the funniest pictures you've ever seen Damn. Wow. Big pun old big pun is like oh his raps are he was like the best really phenomenal. Yeah, he's phenomenal Rap live kinda blows There was a video of him. fag and he said I was a piece of shit That's 30th, yeah. Looks like Patton Oswald It looks that looks that's got South Philly written all yeah

36:10 Tom McCaffrey. That's so funny. Yes. Jesus. Yeah, I don't know it none of these distracts. You can really rap like dance Yeah, we'll probably have to. What's up niggas? Blows up, no guts. I am the true name of rapper that I am. Yeah? ever watch like black guys here white for the first time, they're like unbelievable! I don't think these guys even know what the fuck YouTube is.

40:30 I try like mozz like oh not bad good cracker A Norman's like a response. Like you made Rome and then you made your own Norman have you seen Matt Rice? He's the Asian guy Posts are getting a little unhinged well. She's got to get over here first of all she's already I'm sure the middle of a war zone like we got illegals lighting fires that are Is it going strong going strong It's not even a little loud.

42:58 Well they actually can. Can't leave my friend. I've got nothing to lose my friend bud has never evacuated. He lives in Belle Canyon I got evacuated three times. He does not evacuate He got a bunch of hoses and he fucking saved his house Oh, yeah, I always saw like his leg my friend saw him get hit. Oh We saw a guy at the Hyatt, the old, the Andaz, the front pet, like we saw it just like you look, and he was like there in the air.

45:25 That is a crazy story the story of the strike when you realize that at one point time they were getting no money Oh, if you fall down a fucking hill yeah Yeah, you know like for real like you got to be able to stop yourself from oh, yeah Just fucking do it so you don't die. Do it so you don't fall in the tub. Yeah. When you have to stay in those shitty, they're like slick.

47:11 By a Biff Manor. Leno, for his part part moaning on the ground I didn't even make it to the belt he tried to kill himself on this try to hit the store Psychologically ill people. There's a you're blaming it on that thing how many guys when you started we're just like on tilt just a little but they Decade I'm already bringing like an opener and like what about an MC? I'm like, oh shit You got to scramble to find them here and they go fine. I'll just do a guess at like fuck

50:11 show I'm sorry Adam makes rules but it's Joe Rogan friends I know. The only way it works is Adam you know he He's a worry guy. We take a drive to the woods just to go, and the drive, he's like slobbering. Dog it's named ice. It's great good dog. It is a good dog He was sucks. Yeah, that's true like your kid sucks. He was right Like a priest you got some kind of a real job, and you didn't

53:50 Is that like the least impressive skill of all time? If you I want to be well. I want I want you to have a good experience here You're paying for this experience of being in public and this dude, this is his job. Money you're you gonna notice it or is he gonna notice it are you gonna notice if you have a hundred dollars? David August yeah, he's the best. He's the best man love that guy

56:37 I'm just saying, like the mob would have done something about the fire in the train. Nobody's breaking into anything over there. They go, look, I gave the whole neighborhood turkeys. Probably, it's a photo op, so probably like 50. We're gonna eat good here at Thanksgiving Does China want to fight us why are we trying to fight China's stealing China's data and they're throwing drones over New Jersey It's a war

59:24 Free Palestine Did you see Gavin Newsom's latest speech Great hair though. No one's rebuilt. No one's rebuilt, right? Yeah, so what happens with all this is not as simple as anybody thinks any fire would be like you get your insurance money How much they gonna spend on the palisades and if they did it for the palisades the Hollywood Hills gonna be like what the fuck dude what

1:02:29 Yeah, weren't they saving the rich people? Everything could have been settled and no nothing's been done. Yeah, we keep sending money to these other countries Let's get it well if global warming hits we got a sweet. I like it if global warming really takes off Oh easy gotta be Or a really bad bar. That's not very good. She's dating him now Definitely no

1:05:52 That Arab Bedouin population is at a close to the bed, but that's the arrow Before they catch it when you ask questions like this on a giant podcast before they catch it well it gets out Because you won't survive with your blue hair. they, them pronouns. They're throwing you off a roof Fantastic let's buy Panama that way it yeah I thought I know that's why I change it and I was like you want that

1:08:59 Yeah, but they were just doing what the other people wanted whoever's in charge like sure sure sure yeah, no way Do you remember that? It was so wildly rejected in the public that the the Pentagon shifted course and they decided not to attack Syria talking about the They asked him to take out a clearly not real They eat at the same dining hall. Yeah, they're all pieces of shit

1:11:52 Remember that yeah they're like, yeah, we agree with you. Four of them But my favorite part was when Kamala Harris shows up and she fucking stink eyes both of them And it's like look at Obama and Trump just no one looks at each other sit next to him. Yeah He made it to 100 though. Me my right near Pence It was like on Hannity, he was a guest on Sean Hannity.

1:15:21 I can't, I'm still on the fence. That's not my concern like he's trying to shut him down, but he's doing it a stupid way He's too religious, that guy. with a lady unless my wife's there. A doctor needs a female nurse in there with him. And then nine half because they don't believe them. Yeah, send in a six with cocaine They were doing showbiz type shit, but they were presidential candidates that big like I never got the chance to do this

1:18:28 It's probably not baby lube. All I got is a hallway beat up on video. Someone or yeah, who's really good at basketball or fucking someone He's never did they know but no one talked about the names and there was a video and it was gonna come out That guy who else you sell underage prostitutes? No, she's in jail. She is in jail. She's in a jail where you get yoga you finger yourself watch TV

1:21:58 Yards will be able to do shit Crema chrome? There's levels of Hollywood. It's not all of us in yes. It's Matt Reif and those he ain't invited And we're going to Naomi Campbell's house. What and the party house was so high up the hill that there was like a 50 foot Bizarre and then me and Dave are hanging out and Dave goes man. I never want to be that famous

1:24:12 Dave can do a monologue right there on the floor. He's a fucking punk. I agree, Chappelle is more talented, but you know need to's got bangers. He's good. He's good and he's hot. He's a fucking I think it was that one. Oh, yeah, and I was like are they're like rotten and you're like, yeah Some of them are okay, but most of them Comedian that's doing better than you that you hate right now

1:26:33 That's the best. Sorry. I got news for you his wife and their dumb friends are never listening to this podcast Well he's a fun guy to talk to. in Kansas City was like hey I got an early show can I come hang out we're I was bombing at the Charlotte Comedy Zone. And we went out all night. There's too many heck, I did it this last weekend, I was like, the last show of the set, it was like, no way have I said this.

1:29:31 Long sets are like a zone you get into. Yeah, this is the first part of the ride have I done that bit yet? The edible arrangement was very thoughtful. Thank you. It was really not horrible. Yeah, yeah, sure I was like by five minutes. I was sick on stage one time and I was doing a show and it was coming up and I had to swallow it. Did the second set and I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna puke

1:32:10 in you let's get it out now we've all had the shitting on stage where you go His name So were you sick days before as well? They're like as big as a car. Oh, a Tripoli spot. Brian Cowell's not gonna make it either. What's he teaching English? You're gonna pay for that now, but I didn't do it extra. I never heard him. I never destroyed you destroyed

1:36:05 He'd be fighting off a choke and like woof And you couldn't take me off the board. You just go. Yeah, we had to start with you on my back sitting down your 700 pounds You made us start with him literally arms around me. I made him start with over under from the back Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's that's I could lay on him and hold his arms down, and you did yeah

1:39:23 It was unfortunate is my move. I could do okay Your people yeah, but you just like get yourself in a little bit of shape before you do it gotta get in a treadmill That's Reich! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA I'm just now like how far can he go?

1:41:49 I'm Scottish and Irish obviously hold on we'll find one Well, those are also hilarious. Okay, we hear They're trying to hit each other in the nuts with the ball And I'll go, right, that's my turn over. The border between England and Ireland. Paul doesn't just take around Carol. haha it's funny that they swear That's like the only time they could be here.

1:45:01 They don't have long balls. Twice. Norman, I'm certain you don't I held on way too long. Yeah, you just pulled me. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Yeah, it's too far when you fuck fuck a girl in the bathroom the beds right there Of course, I want to oh, yeah He's white. Like, you're just washing yourself and peeing at the same time.

1:47:58 But even a dog like Ben's, the shower, you're just like, Just think about all the ass of Norman's eaten and think about how ridiculous would be to not eat food off the ground they find out that you were not working there well that's a matter they were I think it fucked me up. So it's right there. It's right there when we were at Bonnaroo, and he went

1:49:51 You've gone from trip to prawn? But brain It's not a public health concern Yeah, it's overkill. It's overkill. I'm showing your enthusiastic. I did a joke in my special about that He was famous for like horrible stuff like he would open up girls bottles His championship week, you guys are ready to show the thrushes That's what I said. Can't find it.

1:53:55 That's right. You're gonna have to pay me a hundred bucks back anyway It's a free 50. Lex Wexner? Jamie. That's his name. Now Lex Wexner, what did he do and why does he pay for your Jamie has a lot of insinuations to make. Jeffrey Epstein worked for the guy who paid for your roster? Interesting. Third, right? I'll only bet with real fans like Tony Hinchcliffe Wow

1:56:11 Pull that up. That'll be fun. Is that put him in the grave is he all right? He's back. He's been training Do you know that do you have that shirt Jamie we need the photo of that shirt? I don't know but he does have a ponytail Yeah, well and Dana white and probably not's probably not done drunk. Dana White's the guy who got him on here. Yeah Whoa. Like how many of them?

1:59:57 Nancy mate You're like a macaw you got to listen to some things that she argues some of the things she argues is hilarious They cracked see the video the guy driving over a Trump sign then he got the flat tire The guy who ran over it was like, this other lady, and she's running away, Three you have to get crazy. I was at a bar with DeRosa last night Matt Edgar

2:02:36 And this fucking thing is up there. How'd you know the bartender's like how'd you know that and I'm like I just know things bro I put that on the mat. Yeah, you better believe I am that Eagle Like just strangers no like Walmart. No like here try this and then people like is that fentanyl? Birdies Sam! get in there Norman he's going in Goggles. A dab will do ya.

2:05:25 That guy on that video said it's kosher because I threw in the ocean Things way worse watch Bryan Simpson here? Oh, I can't wait Great impression of his dad. It doesn't get the credit deserts offensive as one of the best fucking bits. I've ever heard in my life about a good bit I've ever seen in my life effortlessly kills. Yeah, I think he was high as fuck we did a

2:08:02 Yeah, that's the key like a dude who could take a joke We've had that we've had this conversation. I think every protect our party That's the thing, there's a lot of dudes I know that can fucking murder me easy. Yeah, I don't know what was up with that. Yeah, I get the guy in trouble. No, I mean, I think he's getting Like you see them refereeing a fight, like they're going to handle it.

2:10:34 fight out on the ground no matter what, That's white. You got to leave the fans wanting to see you fight again That guy you hit probably had a drunk chin like a pub in Dublin What, Neville? You figured it out though. Thank you. Yeah. It's a good time. Fuck. But then the FDR kind of shit on Churchill. Think the end of the war at the end of the war. I think at the end of the war it was Churchill

2:14:34 Winston Churchill in May 1945 and developed by the British Armed Forces war against heavy odds. That's terrifying. We're the only ones that ever have the nuke right several areas from companies and institutions relevant to military and economic policy in the Soviet occupation zone of Germany and Berlin, as well as around 4,000 By rail. Erpro-Bungstel. Erpro-Bungstel

2:18:26 Drop it back in now bring the scientists over. It's quite a town. there and like tried to find ghosts. Jack Parsons. Jack Parsons. So this guy, let's those scientists were getting crazy pussy. We did wife yeah they were all chasing tail They're good boy. Oh, yeah, Neil the grass is up your anus you tell how big it was it was really I mean it was pretty fucking big you

2:22:32 That's that fucking freedom ball and that there was a nuclear warhead that was unaccounted for. I don't know. It's all like I got it like like Ellen And they will explain how they've been debunked. Classified information you can't talk. But then while they do that, they're also going to release information on what is unexplained. Have you ever met any of the Arrow?

2:26:05 industrial complex right so but you never saw that on any television show in It's it's a the world has fucking changed its And then this time around, here's what's really crazy. Because they don't want to take pictures? Yeah, Jamie told me about him first. I was like what? It's as funny as it gets. He's fucking hilarious. This is gonna keep rolling. We gotta find a fresh one.

2:28:01 It's gonna be a good game. He's got a nice car, you piece of shit. Wexner? Les Wexner? Yeah, my special's out today. I'm like, let me sell this shit. Tell everybody out there in the public you're an asshole for this Does it have anything to do with the theme of what you're talking about? Stage like what are you magic before we do with some is in your face and the crowd has to see a guy circling you

2:31:45 R. Kelly's in there with him. He's like singing with these dudes. Oh hell. Yeah, well p diddy's basically the barbershop This joke has to come out before I get another one. Yeah. him go. Damn. just... Well, how many people died in the palisade's fire? And that was Arson. A hundred, They've got video from the sky. It doesn't, it's not like an idiot On the hill too, the way it lights up on a hill,

2:35:02 Oh, yeah, that was pretty later. I didn't see it was like it wasn't a blowtorch is more expensive than a fucking lighter. I didn't see it Well, you go over there if you live there like 51% of the time or whatever it is like there's some number you don't pay taxes That's why you rent. No income tax. Yeah. That's what you think. needs to stay over. who I'm operating on right now needs to stay,

2:37:34 You're not wrong. Here's what's probably gonna happen a bunch of people about to step in and offer them Oh, yeah, Armageddon a whole side a lot of it was because the last two years was so flush We got good rain two years it filled up everything and they were like great So then when it dries up after the rain, There was like four or five houses that were good

2:39:58 going to gymnasium let's go let's go let's go everybody's completely forgotten We might not even have the fights in LA next weekend So we don't know also like Yes, San Diego. It's the best. I was like they have the fucking comedy store in La Jolla Like we don't want this here. Well, it's the military. They don't want all the soldiers Okay. Not legally. Not legally. To get over those people getting lit on fire.

2:44:35 I've used every tunnel. Oh really? Oh, yeah, that's what I put up. I'll make a dispenser We're like this is tied to Batman, but it's nothing to do with Batman After he gets after he gets this down we're gonna ask him more about that bet Jamie oh I have no idea. I genuinely don't know. That was a TikTok thing. Is it right? I don't know. It's gonna happen

2:46:52 Joe's sitting there going, And I was like, hey, I'm not right for this. Bud Light rules. Oh Jesus! Yeah, it was bad. That was back when they paid moolah, big bucks for the commercial. It was a job oh yeah, I'd get in there also once I was just starting to get high and I could see through people Did you really? This is good stuff was bluffing knew that guy knew that tell

2:50:24 White dudes who bet back at you just get out. They're just looking to play right? What's over playing in the World Series and and we're there's a big breaks every like five hours Candles cost the candles cost less And then in the room AC was on like they turned into four-hour candles and we had to source Yeah, why that? Oh, guess this. I found this out today.

2:53:12 They were talking about coke and meth they were talking about the percentage of the population that does coke and meth Those uh cougars out there they're all in golf carts and fucking dentists with fake tits a great place to be divorced I get divorced and you want a party open carry. Yeah, let's fucking go you want someone out of the house Phoenix does, and Tempe does.

2:54:17 Omaha ranked as the worst city for drug use See what it says this is what it is. Oh, it's Phoenix. This is my relation that have used wow that's just San Fran, 54, that's low? Do not trust. Is it the same as Adderall? Do you have the same feeling? Yeah, but it's times a thousand a thousand. Maybe not a thousand, times a hundred. Whoa. Yeah, it's a good time

2:56:28 On acid? No. It was so well animated. I wonder what that was like. So he was walking people. Fourth inning that Richard Nixon was a home plate umpire Yes! I've I'm friends with Matt so I'm not like talking to him now He's a good guy. I feel like that could bite you in the ass though. Like, I'll go up there and people are like, do Trump. Yeah, that's a problem

2:59:40 midnight tonight yeah 14 all right yeah let's go some real ballsy material here Yeah, and I'm like this is lost you have to refer to him as yay, yeah No church in the wild He's got some bangers When he was on Alex Jones saying he loved Hitler they're fucking with me, no chance. As long as you refer to him as yay, he's the he's the best. He's awesome

3:03:15 While he was Kanye was coming up old footage Every few years the Holocaust numbers come up around the score Jews, but every few years the Holocaust numbers come up Seven. damn nice real Balkans are wild too like, those are hard people. They don't look anything like what they sound. I can't hear them. Tell me sometimes they'll correct me. No, I have to say it the second time I say it right, but they don't look anything like what they say

3:06:46 Is there a place that's open I guess like where do they put it? Yeah, it's like the pearl Mmm, okay, they play tonight. They have separate stadiums. They're gonna play tonight. Yeah Yeah, you have to be no like they're not gonna allow any opponents fans to us at the army UFC UFC yes, I had a thing on you. Oh the female fighters are getting hot Might have been Rose Jelman you maybe Rose Rose. She might have gotten fucked up. That's Paige way. She fought bare knuckle

3:10:16 She's got rib tits. His whole, and he was still fighting. Bro, this fight is crazy. Nah, by now it's not stopped. If it's a woman. He's still going. With that much blood. Renee Aldana Do not piss test these gentlemen you want to fight on math here Of course she would. We lost Ari. She's very pretty. She'll fucking kill you too. You're fucked you're gonna find some hungry animal that grew up poor

3:14:09 Yeah, he grew up. He grew up with like a dad that was like this is how you play football in your background. I mean now there's some white boxers, but like well you got like Tyson Fury who's a fucking gypsy Oh, is that today? It's been like three times today. Yeah, he was losing his mind. Tyson? Yes. You ever hear him talk to Ari Hilarani about like the

3:16:40 But the Vitali was the mayor of somewhere else to the Vitali is also a politician the brother fatality was an animal. They're both animals. I mean, yeah. But he was more They let him go on the ground. That's what I asked. Is it like hockey where they? The thing about hockey is like you're hampered. Yeah, looks like you're allowed to do that because the referees didn't jump in.

3:19:16 What are you allowed to do like you allowed a leg kick? In slow mo kicked me in the leg it hurt for a week good half And by the way that hurts like Look, he tells him to hit him again. It hurts so bad. But wait for it. Watch when she Imagine that dude ate like 21 of them? No, I just didn't know you do it you gonna pee or am I gonna pee what are we doing here?

3:22:50 Too cold. Oh, dude, give me one of those. Yeah, I was for me stay positive. Oh nice. Yeah, what award for the show? Kind of hilarious. And a baby. Oh, that's too big. That's how I want to wear it. It fits good! I'm gonna debt. I'm out a lot. Fucking fun, have some actual fun for once. You asked Tony to do Tony at a fucking political rally. I love those leaked stories that come out once in a while.

3:26:02 Clicks. Yeah. From Ohio, I don't know He probably would have ran for president now. He's fucked but he thinks he's not fucked That's all I can see. I don't know He tried too early. it's like most of the state is red except for the high population centers all those areas down south like near Yeah, yeah, Jam, I love highlights About England? That's true.

3:30:40 They rap in Irish rap? Oh yeah, I'm putting this on the Spotify. Oh yeah. I'm putting this on the list. Go for a dance We really I not know about these guys. How can we never told me about them? They're not the best I got the green room back Now yeah, and and just walking down the street not that many people when they did recognize like what the fuck

3:35:08 And the games move faster now. Yeah, we got the booths and the hot dogs stocked for us. And the eighth woke up like, dude, you got five beers left. You failed. No, no, it's just making bad decisions. He knows better nine beers What's this from? July? Yeah. I think I could eat nine hot dogs No, they dip the bun. I don't think they should be allowed to eat. I hate hot dogs, they're disgusting. No, don't dip. It sucks. I had two hot dogs right away. You know I was like I feel it I think they should be a lot of hate hot dogs. They're just no don't do it

3:38:25 No, like what does he eat? Young Chestnut. space Is Mickey su do that Jesus Christ? She's a beast look at that They used to have 30 used to be 30 and three quarters Bro that's more than 10 a minute. That's so crazy Dude we told Aaron Judge we were doing that I want to see him eat 57 hot dogs They win us talking about what are the groupies like for this sport?

3:42:04 Before that like when he was on lethal weapon, but he was a great actor. He's a little bunch of fucking great break Oh, look at those teeth, bro. He played that guy who was like trying to blow up the world in one of those movies. Oh That's his son that looks like that sabotage is the he sabotages the space machine. Imagine your dad is scary, juicy.

3:44:20 He was really good though. Tropic Thunder was the first thing that I was like, McConaughey's alright. I have to even wolf down to 135 pounds in five months Like your organs are failing. Yes, he did. You look like an MMA fighter plowing Chelsea handler. He was on a liquid diet for nine weeks yikes doing liquid diet right now patty jenkins okay she directed it all right and charlie's thrown fucking gained like Why that movie together?

3:47:41 silly hunks being silly hunks, which is the funniest guy. Yeah, yeah Damnit. I'm gonna pee for the third time. I did the sauna. Wait the third time? That's the rice Don't do that. We'll tell you the whole story. Oh no, I don't want any of this. But that's not how it is What is your business your business is like selling other people's art at a cut rate?

3:50:28 Because I just run it myself then. No, it was the, JFL was going on Amount of money in comparison to what I would make if I did the show and I could just do a show And they're asking you to sell out a big place, but they want the money like what are you talking about? fucking crazy like that's crazy like what is your business model based on like Looking I haven't seen his ass

3:53:39 He did that all with his left leg. Yeah, like he's favoring his right Yeah, UT. I went to Dallas, and I saw the Cowboys play the Jets. Oh I mean how you tell me walked around passing a people the people that are in the jello shots could not contain their excitement Stuff a red or a green Night before the 30th he sold out two nights and the Cellars, and it was just like,

3:57:18 You gonna do it? I don't know if you have a theater that can entice like big name people to come in We have some funny Crack heads of kids Night thinning! Night thinning home run! Yeah, that a baby! I do I can't say Where no one's gonna have any secrets anymore with all this encryption? Season three I think it's gonna be an understanding There's a couple in there that are like- My whole algorithm right now is just Hitler playing basketball.

4:02:02 Does he win all the time? Because that's concerning. The park once playing it's a black eye playing with a Klan outfit on he was just dunking on this white dude Yeah, God blows his brains out in it. It's fucking wild What the fuck? Look at this whoa It looks really good. They got me. Trump dog was just like, Yeah, yeah, they were just trying anything

4:07:00 Tony's like garbage not special but like clip whatever set was like when he set it up It was like fucking the Rolling Stones just showed up I thought the first one was bad. He goes this one was rough. He said he didn't sleep until I endorsed Trump He knows somebody like that she says somebody had an 82 million dollar house. It might be Sandler. That is a good guess

4:09:50 Russians Chinese deep state it'll come back. I mean Katrina fucked the whole New Orleans up and we're all back and running It'll come back. Yeah, it'll take palisades, but yeah, man. It's not even like some homes is all the house And then imagine going up to like, to like, old stand up New York. They'll never, I mean, it's gonna gonna rebuild aid before they even start on more than houses

4:11:27 She said there was animals that died in the pool because they were trying to escape the fire It took years and years and years to get approval I love passin' that sign on the way to, It's not just from, like, movies. Fire it up. Is it 18 a life? No, that's that's not who's what's poisonous big hits. Where are you from? I don't want to wash dishes and why would you watching Washington at all with that going on cuz he's trying to make it in the band Ari

4:14:57 Like the hair and everything? Killed it. Yeah. Yeah, because they killed all the psychedelics. dancing around with their tight pants on, fucking Well, the best was me and Diaz were at the griddle. Beat the Olympic boxer I go one that huh Judas Priest was the crazy for one is hot one obviously one all the way left I'd go all the way to Oh, you attach a pussy to your dick. So it looks like you have a pussy. No, that's what I defined to get on kill Tony

4:19:28 Jerry girls yeah You ever hear Charles Manson song? Yeah. It's good. It's not not bad It's good folk music Charles Manson, he got together with Brian Wilson They- he got in with them, like, you know, probably brought a bunch of the hippie girls around was I was on a Fuck fuck Bob Dylan train for a while. Yeah Am I wrong? She'll do what he's Bob Dylan. Oh in the movie. I didn't see great. He killed it in a good way, but biopic

4:22:21 Push ups. Why don't you guys pick stuff out of each other's hair? That's lies He almost tricked you he was like setting himself up to win if he lost What's the equivalent of me doing that if we You know what happens you get infected? Oh I could place that bet online and if you're gonna talk shit you have to bet You're already conceding. It's not a fair bet. It sounds like you're conceding defeat. It's not a fair bet

4:26:37 Epstein Epstein ran his money for a little while Epstein ran his money Where's that money? what i mean most priests just can't fuck are gay but the but the true that's head. That's actually fuck either. Yeah, so fine. Yeah Think it was Clinton. What year was Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Jamie? I think it was Obama. God, I thought it was way later than that.

4:28:45 Fire it up. Look at that, repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. And now they give you extra money for a sex change. 15 million dollars not that much for them of the 243 gender reassignment surgeries performed on military personnel since Him saying, transgender shouldn't be in the military, and all the liberals are like, how Find out if that's the case. Removal of breast testicles

4:31:52 It's always just mocking all the crazy gender shit we're involved in. Yeah. Yeah. Could happen. Just Just report. I think overreported If you go back to like 2007 and see how many so then like, well you can be a woman with a dick, right? That's acceptable. So like then just be that Teams that don't have to officially reveal their finances. What does side revealed mean?

4:33:37 Jamie, check the community notes. My dad We're not betting even on that I'm getting plus but it's not about the money it's about it's about the the push to your team Really, what happened in Vegas? It's not how it worked either. I didn't have any money when we went to the casino, That's why it's been a thing for three years What a warrior. it up. Oh, that's a dollars. It was a thousand dollar hand.

4:37:00 from Shane. A fourth time Wait, was it 5K though? I was just making fun of him. You're gonna have to wear a t-shirt as well thousand bucks in a t-shirt Jamie's my dad and Longest you've ever spoken on the show I think. That's not even the whole Illinois. You should have been happy I was happy I didn't have to pay you that money back. Oh, no, I didn't care

4:39:30 Yeah, on a good bet. I gave you that money for free. Jamie's been complaining about it ever since. I was gonna pass an expert like our box that's good They're gonna make some good amount of money. Oh really more than a red band. Oh, yeah the Fleshlight. You're an industry plan MMA commentator and used to host fear factor No band, no nothing. Big Jay had that joke in his dog belly.

4:43:17 That guy had already they had warned me about that guy because he had yeah and that's what they didn't show. into another dimension. So I just grabbed a hold of the back of his neck and I'm like, Tough guy you get hit in the jaw. So I was like, this is too close. So I just like clamp I would stop right there. I'm gonna neck like that. You got you realize you can't do anything

4:45:28 Terrible, ruined the whole show. It was like, this is a bad feeling. murder went down on that patio yeah I got shot but there was no crowd control The early days of the comedy store were crazy. he was a door guy, but he was doing a set, and pulled him out. There's something about that place that just attracted the most psychotic people 24 and then the guy says he's gonna sue him so he sends like a legal letter. Oh

4:48:32 That was fucking insane. He might have had a case there. Complete lunatics. that back area well I was like guys I would tell them when it rains don't go They fixed it and reinforced the shit out of it, but it was like sketchy one time. It did fall Chairs were all out there chairs and pails and then somebody up there who bought a house thinking oh views of sun

4:51:33 And they didn't even fucking ban him. Oh my god fucking in the back room Marin said that we did so much coke with them he goes. I'm like guessing what he meant. And so he'd go on and he goes, hey, put his thing down, tap his fucking cigarettes didn't like him just chewed him and then he goes You know what I mean? I was all excited. We got that. Yeah, I think so, but when I said it no one had ever no one ever done it

4:55:29 I got no material. He had no material Rock said it's his favorite album. to do something so insane, like as a piece of performance art. They didn't like him. Well, I don't like what this guy's doing. It was like the first cancel culture And he does Dice and they banned him for life from MTV. Now that I know I know now they must that are like alt comics and the guys that weren't doing as well as him

4:58:12 Oh yeah. He's just in these Jim Norton bless this house. That's it bless this house. That's the show that's he tried 95 nice Look at him! I'm looking for information. I'm looking for a piece of celery. that show in syndication. Oh, is that right? Rugrats, ah! Damn. And I said, wait a minute, I'll go and host it for free. a special on Comedy Central because he got a Netflix deal.

5:01:50 He was gonna go into debt to pay the entire staff Five seasons they worked on that. They blackmailed me. They go, either sign with us There's a whole crew of people that were gonna be out money because of him. He's like I'll pay those people five seasons But the problem was everybody knew what happened and And then I wasn't there editing it anymore.

5:03:15 He goes unless I get permission I want to do it and I was like no we need to say people jobs I was poor for too long. God, that sucked. tell me what they want out. It was a great show you and I was there when you developed that she did a great story on it It's on fucking Comedy Central. But you know, in the beginning. And then eventually was like I guess TV

5:05:32 Why not? Yeah, why not? Old reruns. The Chappelle Show. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, we said we'd host it for free. Yeah. Soda rules. I know you old people don't understand Google Jamie help me with that video He spent a half an hour talking about you Was yeah, it was like such a checkmate move because the photo of you standing in front of a billboard on set the odds of it

5:08:42 You gotta work your way up 30 minutes. He spent on me go. And the guy goes, $75. And Burt goes, $3,500. And he goes, what? He goes, $75. He goes, you go first, and Schultz goes, five million. they had to go to his website to get it. And he said he made it so easy to get, Yeah, and his email list, he writes things, Like he's basically got his own fan base.

5:10:58 A year off. well, since you're a former comic, Yeah. One thirty two did five for sure go watch already special go Look at it, it's beautiful. That's right.