Joe Rogan Experience #2257 — Bryan Callen Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. You're married, you're married. It's gonna be really awkward when I call you at 75. I just need help this month Listen here's the bottom it's not about infrastructure infrastructure You think? I did with them Trump was going on this long rampage about You guys in LA, California came up with AI. we doing? on someone's show talking about this and he said something that's like very, I think he was actually doing it himself.

4:34 Like you say and I'm like hey lady when when my house is on fire, and I'm trying to get my kids out I was, I wanted to say something like, go get them guys or something like that. And I said, He said, it's just a matter of time. That the whole center of California used to be a lake This is before that. However, you want your story to play out, it's going to take work,

8:00 One of the best ways to get into therapy is better help. So I'm with John because I'm we were doing that movie ride along and John goes hey stick around I'm gonna have we'll have some dinner with a friend of mine's coming by I didn't know it was Look at the size of this lake. they drained it, right? Look at the size of it. What the fuck? Look how big it was. Look

10:05 God bless him. You gotta get out of there. or burnt to the ground. Well, we have a barrier between the 405 This was the same time where this fireman was explaining to me what's gonna happen in LA Everyone's got this like somber like 50 mile an hour It was fucking nuts and And you would see fire What was the big fire in Northern California? We didn't buy it because it was a little too expensive to be honest with you. It was like,

13:38 the guy ran for mayor narrowly lost to Karen Bass. Didn't Mel Gibson's? It doesn't matter. How's that one house? Look at that one house. Okay, that's a question And then what kind of insurance are you going to be able to get? I don't know what happens to the entire city now because people are looting like fucking What? And they're going to come stay with us.

16:36 Of course you are. Yeah, I don't know what's getting us from the Texas Patriot Twitter account city council. But you know what? Until Angelina's wake up and start voting for intelligent people The Rothschilds. It's like, no, it's not that the Jews aren't the problem it's one of the marks of a collapsing society when they start blaming everything on the

19:21 Squarespace when it came time to make a website there was no question that we or even upgrade your current website, Oh my God. These guys like to fuck. the lawyers of these powerful people and they go, how are you doing? Now, we got some evidence But I think what happened was there was a lot of money and every one of those fucking gave Jeffrey Epstein a fucking $60 million mansion in Manhattan.

22:16 I know. Yeah, but when I talked to him about he actually met Jeffrey Epstein and he said and Eric is just way too smart He's cuz you know, so so Newton there's Newtonian physics, right, which is this matter here, How do we reconcile both realities? machines replicating better machines, better versions of ourselves, and it's kind of an Bring your Yin in.

24:58 And then you come and you get that DMT flow, oh, you get I don't work for me Yeah. Yeah, that's so good. You don't really have to fucking meditate for 10 years, homie. Right. You missed out on a lot of is an imagined construct, you've invented this. And if you try to do that, it's kind of impossible to locate where you're hearing me from. Come on, you're not even a good student.

28:06 Because the idea would be you can observe your brain, so you can observe your thoughts, Oh, the Vietnam photo? Jesus Christ. Yeah, but he also didn't move, so he stayed there. The way the president of South Vietnam at the time, who was a staunch Roman Catholic, Playoffs we're talking about playoffs you bet $200 in bonus bets instantly download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use the code Rogan

30:55 Call 888-789-77777 or visit ccpg.org. all the time. And the worst version of it is extreme narcissism, you know, and sociopathy. I don't like how I handle that conversation. Yeah, and we were young and stupid and we had bad role models So there's a lot of things going on there, you know Well, you might be the best thing for someone is fucked up, which is a comedian

33:35 It was like it wasn't a time for rash. a different time. We are growing up in the most strange time because this is like coming is for censorship, the left is for whatever pharmaceutical drugs they're trying to push. and I were talking about this, like if you disagree with the left, they will come after operation for eight eight hours comes as Caitlyn Jenner a minute later hours it

36:16 Listen, we all have our taste. Okay. I'm sorry. I like 45 year old ladies. That's why I'm looking at you this way. I You're just there. Yeah. There's just no ifs, ands, or buts about it. neck now. I know. He's got a thick neck. He's got a perm. Yeah. He's actually handsome. I don't know. 3.2 billion fucking people use Facebook. that think they can never be a beast it's not true it's not true you don't

39:25 not really physical and now his whole life up here. Now he's down here. He's talking because it gives women this opportunity to excel as well. Yes a complicated world to a binary world which which is ironic by the way also I cry when I think about my dogs that have died. And it's like, Joe Rogan, that's a mean way to talk to me. I was good. And he goes, what do you wanna do tonight?

43:09 sort of an aspiration to try to get famous. So most things you audition for you don't get, turn you into that fucking thing. They'll turn you into that thing because the entire ready to go back to New York to be a comic again. I was like fuck this place whatever the fuck I was doing. And so I never went through that whole thing. I loved it, but it was just like for me. It was all gravy

46:06 I feel like you're auditioning for a show. I'm doing those shows when I was doing that, I finally got my own show. And Dom Herrera said this to me years ago. He's always- in awe of Dom and Dom goes, right, come over here. Montreal we did the But um, I love the the pool players. I love the this the hang they were just so different We're playing straight pool. I just like the type of pool they played in the movie The Hustler It's very rarely played in America anymore, but it's an amazing game

49:46 you rack the other 14. by Willie Moscone in like the sixts and it was on an 8-foot Well, he's a wizard. Filipinos are among the highest level on earth. the balls hard which is like the American way to do it or the Filipinos Right. Is it John Jones? But that's a really gonna find out who's the better player And so that's two more games that you maybe wouldn't have

54:09 Yeah, but your body can't break down your body can't break down those good. The best guys are all fit They go in the bathroom, they throw cold water And that's what you want. You want the difference between an inch and an inch and a half. It's crazy. you just won Wimbledon. But isn't stand up like, Doing that thing especially doing it live. Yes, this is so draining

56:34 Yeah, it's good stuff. No, oddly enough, out of all the things in my life, this is the one thing that I kind They're interesting. I like being inspired. I don't get it. Like people to me are awesome. They're interesting. I love your podcast. Brian's over 20 years. And it took him forever to do it. What's the name of the farm again, So they just contain nature instead of like having people

59:21 ways to that's like this is like Mike Catherine.wood you know Mike great guy you know Mike Catharwood he was on Love Line I mean, everything's dying. What'd they do? Yeah, don't fuck around. I'm gonna buy a ranch. Are you yeah, really? Yeah a literal community of you and your friends and you can go hunt on the land. Yeah. And What did he win he won some big fishing Derby he was a big-time fisherman he started getting with some weird neurological condition and

1:02:26 the water, and then it stays in that water. See, that's the problem, these forever chemicals. Not just a few, like quite a bunch of people that were trying to get their dinner on that were just and I was like, Oh my god, they're gonna eat these fish. And then I thought, Oh my god, But also. couldn't find jobs. The Great Migration refers to a large scale movement of approximately 6 million

1:05:04 have. Well it was like the Puerto Rican exodus from Puerto Rico to New York. They went up there Like I think his best one. He's like when he was pure The New York Times still makes money, but primarily not because of their articles that It's going to be interesting to see. just more to know. of that and you say you know this and you know that, but you really don't. Like you've

1:08:15 be correct? Or are you trying to find out what's going on? But it's also about ratings. You didn't even get it. Occasionally they do. You see with a lot of guys online, they start saying a lot of wacky right-wing things, and I think it's way, I just don't think you know enough. I've heard people say that, like, confidently. How and I really do believe he's a patriot and I really do think he's a great guy

1:11:19 just a few of those. You need them. his closest friends. That's Andy. You better dot your I's, cross your T's. He's also a CLTM6 guy, so he's got some physicality. You could be a brute and just brute strength your way through a lot of it and you know be kind of halfway dumb with a 26 year old and I'm like, let's go. High school dude. His knowledge is so wide.

1:15:17 Yeah, I'll try to do that ape shit that you did when you were 23 like back and it was, god damn son. Dude, I thought I was straight this whole time. God damn son. Super skillful too. go splits and all that. Those guys, the way they warm up was, it was scientific. Yes. And so, because they knew that the micro damage that happens, They might get injured, I think they get injured less.

1:17:52 Never. Where you're not gonna get hit every time you step custom. I was that way too every time you you throw your step So you can see Norton catching Ali's jab and then boom, answering back and catching Ali in the face. Yeah, and but even then like he wasn't a robust guy, right, you know, so he was just Those Dagestanis are made of different fucking...

1:20:11 The only fight. He's like do my best Yeah, you don't want that guy punching arms. Well, I've always said that about look at look at his workouts with his wrists and fists I think the best fighter, I think you can make an argument for certainly top three fighters He's fighting giants. Like Mike Tyson can knock out any human being that's ever lived your job amount of power. He can generate is insane

1:23:09 too. When he came on to the podcast after he beat Joshua, he had a diamond-encrusted You can get people to know about your business. We did win a bunch of other stuff. He represented Mexico in the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games You throw one punch, you know, every... podcast was explaining to me how he learned sauna from the still, right? Well, cold plunges is not controversial in

1:26:01 So there's something about doing the cold plunge No. Yeah, fade or would use sauna and cold plunge so they use hot and cold therapy. So Well, the Finnish studies on sauna are amazing. What it's shown, these are long-term studies over 20 years, it makes you more vibrant, you have more energy and you have less inflammation after it's Yeah. Well, I don't know what this knife is.

1:28:51 clear and knife son what is this it's a hacking knife yeah okay it's when it's I think you're fucking That's what's gonna be really crazy. Well, I want to see what happens because I think first of all rents are gonna I think people that own houses that are not in fire zones, even if they're small, are It's going to be completely fucked. that's good for our culture what was the name of that sauna blanket again

1:31:32 Yeah, if I had to take cold plunge or sauna, I would take sauna all day. Change I haven't seen you like it hasn't gone to your head I said why and you go I think it's because I do something really difficult every day He reads comments? Yeah. I get it. It was so fun, but he's just like that those kids at that age That's right. about that lady saying if your husband's in that burning building,

1:34:46 Now they're, we're, we're kicking ass now. This is in the middle of the biggest disaster in the history of Los Angeles. I don't know if the blame lays in the fire department, by the way, here. I think... You Here it is. So what does that mean? Like Elon Musk is proving heterosexuals build rockets? Is that what that means? got too expensive to shoot in LA.

1:37:04 I love them. And they will not open in Los Angeles. he's been sued over 1,000 times. There's a difference in the notion of, stuff there, very little Trump stuff. Fucking eight months without rain. I don't know what that might be 17%. It might be they have a hundred million dollar budget and they cut it down to seven We live in Los Angeles, fires are a reality, earthquakes are a reality, mudslides are a

1:40:40 What he was saying is true and that they are doing it to protect a fucking smelt What? The homeless thing too. Like how is that possible in the greatest society the world's ever known? I had the former governor of Texas Rick Perry on and he was explaining it. Yeah, crazy completely rewires the brain of addicted people. the sweeping act of 1970, the psychedelic drug act, where they were just trying to demonize

1:44:08 Yeah. first of all, then there's the gas crisis, whatever these people that were designing these cars were like freaks And John Wick killed everybody. Yeah, my my Raptor my Hennessy Raptor that has a thousand horsepower. I get nine miles to the gallon fully electric Wow. Yeah, and they look really cool, but you're missing the whole point It's so engaging.

1:47:14 So they do a bunch of different stuff. Miles is driving really slow hundred miles, but I bet that thing is super sick to drive and goddamn I think it's cool. No, no, no, not electric. I love that car the old ones are the ones that yeah, that's it. So this place That's a gorgeous car. With such low miles, that thing's probably meticulously maintained. It looks incredible

1:49:59 that a stellar model with 20s look if you get a 9-11 from 1970, like a 9-11 RS, a good example I think there's a huge value to that like cooking. Oh, yeah, like the the fact that it takes Yeah. painters and conductors get into Stand up let me see what it looks like there it is. Let's see if we could find it God Do you know I used to have that that fucking Bronco yeah 1971 with a 350 Windsor whatever

1:53:28 I was like, get away from me. Fresh out of the box? Look shitty, but I'm telling you you feel every fucking bump on the road through your ass car. It felt like an experience. I would get in there and I had a personality almost. It craftsmen and and you can't you cannot replace the feel of like something Fire extinguisher guys that guy maintained that motherfucker. Yeah, that guy knows how to drive. I bet look at that steering wheel

1:56:15 You know, if you want one of those, and when you drive it, I guarantee you'll have a fucking smile. just fun. It's engaging. You used to like big trucks too though. You like the Denali's Right. Gloves, scarf, and you wear the glasses. That's a monstrous vehicle. Yeah, but it's also ridiculous. I In what? Because it's just reliability, everything or what?

1:59:02 Yeah. I mean, it's so stupid. slow your top end speed so the high end speed will be like 205 miles an hour instead of Motherfucker, I'm not that's what you need. That's what you need calendar And then when Kovac hit Ron being here was one of the things that moved me here really? And he's at the club every night. He's there all the time. All the time. Killing it. Killing it.

2:02:05 are kind of almost like very much like the same thing. Very much like the same thing. I love it here, he's like, fuck it I'm moving. I'm like raise my kids save them tell my story. I'll be in Austin. Sorry about the fires Because you did that club, right man. You did that club, right? This makes such a difference how am I gonna handle this how am I gonna to do this? It's a lot, right? How am I going to handle this?

2:04:22 Well, yeah, we have Brandon, our video editor. You're on the fun side. things about Jamie is how like, first of all, we're friends, and he's the easiest to hang He doesn't get his ego. Yeah, but it's like what happens with a lot of these people is they develop these podcasts I go, you have people working. I don't even know if you're allowed to pay certain interns because they're supposed

2:06:30 Well, that's a problem with rich people If you need an assistant, you don't. Codify his divorce. So he was like, okay, I'm gonna start the He did the scene. At least he knows. because you don't know. to be killed. contact with objective reality. It's very hard to start living this fake existence. on reality and what the world is about. Right. get laid the most are the guys that kill the most people in combat and have their hair

2:11:41 Oh yeah. Or you're gonna fucking get eaten. Oh yeah. Yeah, you're gonna get fucked is really what happens. Yeah. to struggle, you don't have to do that. So you can get much more involved in art. how hard it is to just survive without modern conveniences. And I never forgot the idea that- I left Lebanon when I was, I left in... I left Lebanon when I was...

2:14:20 So I was in Lebanon for five years. I never forgot it. I never forgot seeing the planes come in and the missiles dropped and just, you know. And for me, I knew that if the grid broke down, that those people were going to take and maybe in ways that are a little bit outside the law, you don't know what you're doing, Like yeah, that is a guy. Yeah, just you know. His body just comes from enforcement. His traps,

2:17:46 should we have a standing army? Because traditionally, in a republic, if you had a standing army, a very charismatic general like Well, yeah. Because you drill, and I don't know if this is true, I don't know anything about fracking, The same reason that in Afghanistan they had an oil reserve there in Afghanistan that was This video says he presented a plan to do it.

2:20:09 The Navy has been ineffective in Yemen. Well, if the shit goes down, you need people like that. Know I can find it if you just give me a moment. House your emergency, whether it's a medical call or a fire call that looks like you. That is such a crazy way to look at things There's a limit to what you can do. that aren't qualified for a job urban problems. If you have 24 billion dollars every year just for homelessness,

2:23:56 be fair. Yes, because there's people that are making a quarter quarter million dollars a year and they're they're just working on the homeless problem of things done, but I'll give you a classic example. We'll just pipe it over here. what you just said to us. And we're going to say yes, but then we're not gonna really let it happen and row four books. Awesome. I'm sure he'll be a very effective secretary of defense. However, that job, this DOD, I think has a million point one employees and a budget

2:27:05 and massive and does a lot of shit none of us even know about. You know why? Because they're territorial birds. They keep all the other birds out of the airfield. You know if you detonate one of those motherfuckers over the Super Bowl, you have to clear out I walk around talking about being a libertarian as usual and stay agnostic about this shit. Yeah, why don't you be a governor my buddy my buddy last time I did my podcast my buddy

2:30:01 from the Dead Sea Scrolls was verbatim the same as the Book of Isaiah Yeah, it's very interesting. You'll be a snake eating its own tail. for you to be reverent of. It's for you to understand that something is watching you, I mean, you see this when people get caught for horrible crimes and they, you know, they it's inevitable. And part of like, if you see great stories, you know, what's the definition of a tragedy?

2:33:35 What the fuck happened, but that's how it happens, bro You know what I said to myself, I'm one of God's favorites. These things don't apply to me Fine. It is, right? think you out think yourself you lose the magic. Part of the magic of being a comedian is these sparks of ridiculousness that have to pop into your head. So you have to be able to entertain

2:35:46 place and fuck you up. I liked it. Yeah, I liked I liked hearing people cheer. silence And then they carried him away in the is he getting up? He's not getting up. He didn't get up. would I even be the same person again after that? one of the things you know if you like just box or just got hit by a truck anything but I would you'd get there and you'd have your fucking

2:38:46 I heard a sports psychologist say that. And motherfuckers are throwing 100 mile an hour balls The idea of hitting that thing. That's why guys will go on hitting streaks This is recently. Yes, sir. You might want to bring this up so I can just you know That might be true. You know those guys who take a vow to never sit down? How bad are their knees?

2:41:34 It doesn't what do their legs look like you should then you can you can look that up Do you know where? I don't know what they're trying to do. They're definitely not trying to get laid right because they don't do it their teens. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Donations. Look at his arm. Yeah. What does he do what is that Justin Baldoni thing. Yeah, when you see what the New York Times did to Baldoni where they took every one of those things out of

2:45:18 There's these people that you could trust that are gonna tell you the fucking truth no matter what I feel like YouTube and now Facebook, they're all coming around. Like someone would say something and someone say that's not true. It's amazing. It's the best way to do it because Bye everybody.