Joe Rogan Experience #2276 — Felipe Esparza Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. And I did the show here when you were in LA? I used to see her at Dodger Stadium when I were working at Dodger Stadium Oh. I forgot, someplace on Long Island. Yeah, well they all have the other lady here. Everybody lost their mind in the 80s. Ali Lieberman Everybody lost their mind. they remove marijuana and mushrooms Creativity from all kinds of substances, especially that

3:43 Don't be lying. I was a year I was in rehab and I wanted to be a comedian Yeah well remember the Comedy USA industry guide? I remember, bro, when I was looking for gigs in like 2000, I got lucky that I was in Boston, and Boston had, that was like the boom happened in Boston when I've seen that murder harder than anybody It was the most ruthless cruel shit

7:26 crazy drinkers and partiers and they were funny man. And so because there was this like The other place that you gotta be from there 2010, I was doing last comic standing there we're performing Worcester, sir. Doug Stanhope started in Worcester. multiple vitamins and supplements with just one scoop. You just mix it in some cold water, That's a $76 value gift for free when you go to drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan. That's a $76 value gift for free

10:19 That's a great album. And there's a comedian that came out of there Wow. Larry... You had like one murderer that lived in the town. But he was he lived in Phoenix and it was somewhere in that area Is that where he lives though? I don't want to give up is it I'm not trying to dock so it's from music on the radio they were all there. It was like for some reason everybody couldn't believe that you could say offensive things as a joke

13:51 but not at Otto. I mean that dude party he went hard and he was a genius comedian Or a sharp bed spring, bro. hilarious I literally thought you were set talking about a completely different But it's like he owned that for whatever reason because Carrot Top got so big using props, You tell everybody suck his cock. It was like it was crazy he might have been out. He was out there. He was out there. But the combination.

17:18 And we, in a comics comic, like we would all sit Right? Like Brian Holtzman. We've known forever And he said, fuck that. Everybody says, how come they don't build a plane They didn't put away their blocks those kids will not be missed Oh wow. an American and somebody yelled out it's Sanchez fucker how did they say it I and take everybody. This is a lot of jobs, mucho trabajos. Come on, get in the trucks. We fucking take these trucks

21:17 And he held his job too when he had a job. It shows that the mothership there's also doubt like he's hilarious people come to see him and It's almost like he needs a second name Mitzi should have done that a long time ago So they make you a regular. Mm-hmm, and I was trying at the laugh factory So you gotta go back to these other rooms. And Jamie said, you can have the biggest little person show

24:24 it was he was given this advice to Todd Parker who was telling him it was either Todd Parker or Robbie But people would have schemes for you. No one. got admitted to a hospital. He had gangrene. You're like, yo, gangrene fucking kills people. I think there's probably moments of brilliance that Yeah? happen to people that are doing drugs. if that's what really happened. So he was the benefactor, allegedly, of the guitarist's $2 million life

28:12 You know damn well what I'm talking about. were gangsters there was gangsters running everything if there was a lot of money to flags, you know, things someone says or does that you don't like, which is fine. But instead Like, say you and a loved one have been fighting a lot lately, but you still Visit betterhelp.com slash JRE They didn't even have DNA back then, man.

31:09 woman and I said wouldn't he say that and he goes he said it then I found out I mean, he's fucking genius, man. Famous in the 1960s and you don't even understand what that means. No one Women faint, they cry, I think I'm not that love it did something where they were upset at him because they didn't know he was gonna do it And I'm 18 and there was no Elvis before Elvis. That's what's crazy

34:10 Wasn't that a part of the movie? Yeah, oh yeah. Look, I love New York City already fucking loves living in New York City. I can't live in New York City. Raider fans. Isn't that crazy? I'm with the sensors. How tall is he? Sometimes I wonder man like how would I handle that much success at that early age. Bro, you wouldn't. I know, that's what I'm saying. Also, you wouldn't, you would go crazy, bro.

37:19 Mine was like the little mountain guy on The Price is Right. 60 million! We got a whole other channel? You have local channels too though in your neighborhood? In living color change the whole like feeling different channel because it's crazy they've been around so long. Like there's a lot of shit on in living color that if you tried to do like in the height of wokeness like three or four years ago, bro

40:13 He played a mentally retarded. Dude this this show was Yeah. Ace Ventura ace Ventura Who the skin tag Who with Dave doing news radio. And then I started really getting into it. I was like, oh, that guy had a very unique, is Yes, he's funny as hell. It's so funny. they told me to wear a suit and I wear it and I saw Joe Diaz wearing a suit I said Which is different than you know when I when I was a kid I thought of suits

45:25 do them for the UFC and I've had them make a bunch of suits for me, they're amazing. It's like what the fuck you made out of do We all fucking lifted weights together, hung out, got in the sauna. Cool as shit man. Wow amazing man. It was fun. I enjoyed talking to him almost close together on the airplane. I was like, what's up, man? How you doing? What's going on? We're talking.

48:15 Conan the Barbarian movie go back and read the Robert E. Howard books. The books are great identical that's code I mean someone the guy's still capable of playing this character someone please me I The books are great man because it's it's all from the mind of this tortured depressed dude who winds up killing himself And the same thing he did with The Passion of the Christ.

50:37 into hearing the actual language of the people that would be doing this that's You don't even know what the language is, but you're fucking scared right it has to be exotic You're like you bro. You're like one of those guys. Mm-hmm, and then um, you say stop using it because of you tain yeah, and I remember I was telling you that Matches? Pieces of wood.

53:41 Oh, that's, what is ember, fire? We're probably gonna find out. Oh good Jamie, Google that. But I think it's the scented ones. potential effects on human health exist and conclusions from the research are Like how could it be good for you to have petroleum burning in your house? When inhaled, benzene can also be a respiratory irritant. or stearin, coconut oil or animal fats are often considered healthier but

57:57 This is because artificial fragrances have VOCs, including phthalates, which have been that candles are safe for use in the home. A spokesperson said in a statement. First They're gonna kill you People are plastic. It was in the nose, right? Yeah substances or PFAS is then plastic but all of them are bad for Just because you fall with a straw doesn't mean you're an idiot, but

1:01:54 Are you clumsy? Yeah, man. Don't carry a rake. I was outside over there going I was holding that baseball and I'll take it ball and I had a good junk on a tennis ball. And we would throw like a regular fastball Yeah. That looks like a guy who plays really good stickball. But kids are just always looking for something to do back then. that person has to grab that ball

1:04:20 Jesus Christ. It's a handball court, a wall, and you throw a ball. It'll tell you, everybody stand by the wall, I said if you fuck if you fucked up you'd have to stay on the wall people could throw the ball That person that put the gate hit by the ball runs home I wonder if kids do shoplift for fun. I got, no, no, no, I was just dumb and young. When I was, I was just hanging around

1:07:45 and I'm like, I'm all high looking at the donut How you doing brother? That's not good for our reputation. You not good for our reputation. She gets our bars traveling entertainers Go do you know the fuck you want? We got it do we got barbecue pickled dicks? Let's go. We got eggs cheese I'll try to find is it another country. Oh Same burgers, but they just added a breakfast burger. It's called easy takeout in West Covina Wow

1:11:06 It's the only thing I came up by like I was looking a little further. No. They're good, you know together little franchise So there's it's just they're saying it's because it's got a smiling animal and the red hat see I don't know I'm not on board with that one. I'm trying to see what they're trying know I'm not on board with that one I'm not on board with that one

1:12:57 Did you have an international copyright, which is really tough? This is Comedy Club and Tommy Teese, Bozo owned Laurel and Hardy? Yeah, the cartoon. later. Eddie Cantor, bro. He was getting paid $500 for 5 minute shows on radio. That sounds like something Theo would say on stage. 1920s people. Bro, back then it was... It's World War I, bro. Back then for a stand-up comedian like when I

1:16:37 But that was back then, bro, that was a hard time. she's like it produced all my specials, but um He had nothing else to do in his life, Reggie and Bull, when he was doing stand-up? Yeah, he's like got photos of him And goddamn Robert De Niro nailed it. He was so scary because he was just out of his fucking mind Can ever be a heavyweight? Yeah put your mind into the type of people that lived back then I mean like cars

1:20:40 Like that woman in that movie I think you talked about it the one need to But New York during the time of that when whenever that film was supposed to represent was a wild crazy almost like wild West 1860s to the 1940s. That's not that much time. No, that's pretty quick Just imagine coming out of the boat Yeah, and then people look older than they do now.

1:23:27 That's terrifying, terrifying. So there's like three coal plants near this city and these people, they can wipe their Oh, Indiana. falling off they said that um I don't know how much coal flies I don't know I know man. Like, oh my God, or made in Russia or made in anywhere where they had to come in on a ship. I love when a comic holds out and doesn't go iPhone.

1:26:03 The... It's pretty dope, dude. Yeah, it's great. great there's a 3% what is a percent chance thank God and it'll show you where to buy it. But second of all, like what happens, like you know those those glasses that they wear now those meta glasses have you seen this Harvard? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Gets a Wikipedia on you or whatever the fuck is available online sees your Instagram page

1:28:29 Yes! like. What's the first one? Little Dutch there. came in here the other day and he's down to a flip phone. It's just real simple. message and you could push send and so it's inconvenient so you don't go on Wow. No. Yeah. You know, like in, the thing about a guy like you is like you're headlining, you're on the road, dudes wanna open up for you, you got the Netflix special, they wanna hang out with you.

1:32:38 you're constantly interacting, you're never alone, And then that clears my mind. It's not fun. Enough You know, so you got to like know when to change not what time you get up Like Jaco does that. Oh, I've seen that guy. He's just a legit dude I like that, because I'm like, oh cool, But that's the only way to write. Some fucking thermonuclear device that levels a place four times the size of Hiroshima instantaneously.

1:36:44 There's nothing funny about the potential So when was desert storm was that Yes, I remember that one, yes. Okay, so when Iraq invaded Kuwait in 1990, Yeah, it started as Desert Shield and then then when we started going after like ham was desert storm We got the receipts. I kind of forgot myself my favorite one is Outlaw Josie Wells yeah. Outlaw Josie Wells.

1:40:11 I like that line when he goes in there to get those people that killed Morgan Freeman. You just shot an unknown man So everybody's just got shit in the streets everywhere you go. You're breathing shit fumes. You're stepping in shit everywhere That's it, and the, the, the, the, And throw in like shit water out of a pack. Look at this Bro, isn't it interesting, because this is a terrible way to live, that people insisted

1:43:10 Soil men who carted away of America's waste. contents exposed to the air and to the passersby who retched 1873 the people were just throwing the shit in the streets paid it's not possible shitty they got paid shit And that's how they're going to look at us, these future beings This suggests that this may have been a contributing factor to President Harris's

1:46:38 Sheep skin. Oh life. controlling of diseases I mean, imagine the pharmaceutical drug companies would try to sell you if you were living like Here I'm gonna send this to Jamie it's about liquid human remains I don't know. It sounds like they were using it for fertilizer, using people for fertilizer, and using people for supplements There's no DNA? Okay, what can I and how they liquefy them with hot water it said hot water and it's and something else

1:50:41 It's just weird to pour dead people on top of your fucking carrots so they grow better Whatever it is, it seems like how they have to tell you if you're gonna buy a haunted house? Do they have to Do you want like maneuver? so they can get a source of calcium. bone fragments calcium phosphate Looking at that like they'd look at chicken. How was he raised?

1:54:33 tissue. And it's a, they're called prions. The thing about prions is you can't even boil Yeah, it would be weird needs more salt, please. Remember that movie Soylent Green. Do you remember that movie? Do they end with a woman boiling a foot? Microwave massacre? But I'm a real guy Jesus Christ. I made a consomme for him too. A nice bone broth. Good for the soul.

1:57:34 But if it's a test positive, it hasn't jumped from animal to people. It's only an animal would spread like wildfire, right? Because I don't know if they have medication that I'm not sure what deer it started out with. spread like there's a lot of deer farms that do a great job. You know, you got this thousand acre spot or wherever you're at. and then they're sending deer around.

2:00:39 oatmeal and I was making oatmeal for 15 motherfuckers in rehab. So I just started putting more oatmeal, more oatmeal, It probably wouldn't even affect the taste of the animal. if it jumps to human beings. Maybe it will have one in five years from now Do you think they made AIDS in a lab? But I don't know if that's even true because I don't think they really knew what like how diseases were spread back then

2:03:16 It's somewhere in the neighborhood of 90% of the people that were here are gone because They probably have viruses fighting viruses inside their body Cutting people's arms off if they don't bring back their weight in gold and dashing babies A real demon horde of people come over on a boat stinking, Mercury on his penis This included liquid mercury, which when injected through a urethral syringe was a common, ineffective

2:06:26 There's this temple in China that they are afraid to go into. They discovered it, and who ever dared open up this temple, How much mercury would you have to handle and how many people would have to die from I think it's like the first emperor of China. I think this is a common thing when great people die. I mean like they would have a copyright on my voice

2:09:26 They don't want to open up the door and die. Sinabar Sinabar from the sound of the it's where they got red stuff also It's mercury boils at 357 Celsius. Well, if they can make a temple like this guy had, they can cook up mercury and fill so even though mercury either as a cinnabar or as the elemental metal, has been 100 tons of the liquid metal god. I had a mercury. For my peepee. And look, it's all rough looking. It's not even polished

2:13:15 This is what I heard they pour coffee now. I heard people take tampons filled with vodka and stuff from in their asshole I mean, they've been doing it They're a coke dyer of their mind. and one of the guards told me that um some guy made a vibrator out of a knife that's a hard way to go too because sometimes people die that way. right? Yeah. It was based on true story. And this dude got fucked to death by a horse. They had

2:15:53 But they were like, remember those penthouse stories or Playboy stories? But in this video you see the size of the horse's dick and you see his body That guy in that video that's getting fucked by that horse was the guy who eventually dies The media kind of says they only found out about all this because he died. Yes. Like yeah, that's what I said.

2:17:37 Do you have it you can still get it right? I don't know where to look I'll look I bet you could get it Yeah Headphones, please. Go full screen. This is on a loop. Because he's here to know what he was doing He probably been fucking that guy for a long time That will be crazy So that was the only good feel thing going ham. Oh god, that's terrifying That's crazy, man.

2:22:19 I've seen it happen to a bunch of dudes when they've been knocked out Well, whatever he would have a we're both in a while a gay will pop in and then he goes and then the punch line was So he helped it but I know that people wanted, Once you've fought over motorcycles, They don't feel like they used to feel yeah, they started to feel crazy You could be a fashion influencer.

2:25:23 What does Fred do? What? do what I know is they freaked out you do that story about Jimi Hendrix still freaks me out I think the manager He definitely did die by They always say that. Who's texts? So Ray had my fucking phone number before I moved here. You get so many of these scam things or they get a hold of your your phone number and just spam you lies

2:28:14 And then, you know, whatever the fuck they do. I don't know what they do. shoes for nothing. Boots are great. But the point is they're cowboy boots Like Felipe, what have you done to your eyes? For the native lipsticks is made out of smash little bugs wear makeup at least a few times a week or daily with older women 65 plus being the most likely What do you think

2:32:50 Formaldehyde a chemical found in some makeup. Yeah, man. That's what like comedians back then stop black-facing You guys gotta wear makeup when you do the UFC fights? and sometimes the blood is spitting out onto the microphone That's ridiculous, I won't do it. Yeah I think you're probably going to get more of a sense of how they feel after it's Classic moment and then he grabs a microphone and gives like one of the most

2:35:33 find that speech and when you hear it man you're like wow that's like that's if you stay down, you will never ever get that resolve That guy was you're gonna go go all the way or don't even try this could mean losing girlfriends. It could mean When was that? That's outrageous like in the 40s and 50s because he's gonna know and I said I gotta find he helped him publish all his books again.

2:39:19 So this guy's from Los Angeles, Charlie Bukowski, he worked at the post-op. Yeah man, there's a lot of talented writers They wanted to have too much input. That doesn't make any sense to me. Why would I do that? this article about him part of the reason why he didn't explode when other Insane that's crazy Johnny oh Daniel, what's up? Oh, shout out to John in Ohio. All right

2:42:59 But April 5th, I'll be in San Diego with Paul Rodriguez and April 25th I'll be in San Diego