Joe Rogan Experience #236 — Eddie Bravo Transcript

Transcript

0:00 the joe rogan experience so every time I restart I have to make sure everything No, it does. It mean like when i'm when i'm doing stuff like you get stoned in There's some oil that you can make with cannabis. He, man, it's weird. This happens all the time. makes you high right no it doesn't right no it doesn't make it at all so it's shrinking which is crazy and doctors are baffled but he's been on that that cannabis therapy and

4:07 I'm like, shit, there's just too many fucking studies. There's all this proof, and people still deny. And it's still a Schedule I's like an alien magical plant there's all this proof and people still bonus and for that really I thought was a real terrible how could I be against an old lady She was in her 30s or 40s? I got just this joyless woman da i'm not going you go no i'm not. And then they fucking make the secretary go out there

6:18 different addictive properties. all drugs are illegal and all drugs she was brilliant it was perfect it's so weird it so If that was really the drug enforcement agency, that was really their attitude. That's really their take on it. That's really a spokesperson for this. Yeah, what are you doing? and make prescription pills. What kind of a fucking smoke screen is that?

8:22 whoa, you're a junkie. if it came on the ballot. It's amazing how strong the pull is in some circumstances. Work together. I'll get you the weed. give me the cash selfish can you imagine so how Well, the coolest part was they used slow motion a lot, Spider-Man, rather. Did I say say batman yeah except for the third parker i mean he he like was a like these little hands like here in

12:00 The whole time, you're like, you don't care because you know what's going to happen to him. It was fun, but it kind of bummed me out. captain america flying around shield and stuff i know most people like that obviously because a fucking new Batman Wow, that's crazy. delivered did you like the avengers i didn't see it. How dare you, Eddie Bravo? I mean, if you're going to get a person to play the Hulk, that's the perfect guy, right?

14:16 could you imagine if you could do what that guy could do? You have to like smashing, Eddie. and he gets fucking mad and goes after the jet. What would you like to do? I would like to be the Hulk. Can I be the Hulk in an artificial reality for you and you get a chance to try it like what would you like to do She's got boobs and a vagina. Fuck yeah. And she just jacks him, which is really kind of fucked up,

16:39 I guess the Amazing Spider-Man was a different storyline There was a web of Spider-Man. Way too far. he always would get upset you could never just enjoy it you know it was like this is so stupid All that work that's so expensive and so grand, I watched the superheroes, I guess. That was a complete comic book movie. He became one of the member of the noble people himself. No wasn't avatar wasn't as predictable as spider-man come on

19:14 Yes, but it's not as clear as a superhero movie that's called Spider-Man. you don't consider it it's less ridiculous I thought that movie was awesome. Like, my name is Avatar. his fingers bitten off. It's a baby. gonna fucking drive you know imagine sitting in a cab of a truck with a giant of its own. You know what I'll do? Is there a She-Hulk? Are you serious?

22:34 You're curious about that. this is fresh fresh as they come for one hour one hour dude you would get bored you would want to it's imprinted in your memory, Rugby player. Maybe. really wouldn't do it for an hour no i'm not really into being a chick at all for an hour I think for one hour, it would be kind of fun. Except for being a woman. I'm not saying like,

24:42 Right. but even contemplate the thought of what it would be like there's only two sexes okay one's male and one's female if you happen to be That would be some shit. Wait a minute. You could have done anything and all that money and you decided to be a girl getting fucked by a guy You need to tell me. How much of the pleasure of cock that you enjoyed so much as a woman

27:19 It's probably going to happen. is other comics, I think it's happened twice now, Burt Kreischer's just being funny. That's a serious, a gay allegation. You're just kidding. Because Burt has the greatest stories in the history of the world. Burt Kreutzer's the fucking man. Just kidding. podcast the bone zone and right before the podcast started uh some somebody put in between the alley

30:27 And I thought it was that, you know, because I'm so, I just got electrocuted. did it go inside the room no no no no outside the room right but right outside They think part of it was started. So I shit myself. Anyways, we did the podcast. that and he stops he starts screaming at me and i turn up my stereos a little bit and then i i i and i'm like uh okay i threw the cigarette on the ground and he picks it up and he just like

33:18 he got there brian had been electrocuted in the face yeah that sucked did you hear it did you listen to it My dad... and his tv and fans that's scary man it's scary generator no i need to get one they had been shown that there was some collusion involved in shutting man, crazy dude in front of you you know when Justin Martin do your fucking window But it's really bad.

35:52 I don't want to get in a gunfight. once you realize that they're headed down a bad alley. and give them something. the the answer in some some way in a perfect world what's wrong with this world this world world could But other than that, right? All that shit. This kid did nothing wrong, complied completely. He stepped on him like a carpet. but they couldn't do anything to get rid of the video.

39:21 doesn't mean because you enjoyed that episode of S.H.I.E.L.D. Long Beach Rage on YouTube. where the whole Miami Police Department, But a lot of them are under a lot of stress, He doesn't look... And, you know, it was creepy. remember what the fuck he was but either way man that's fucking completely uncalled for if that You know, if you've got him lying down on the ground, man, I would for sure soccer kick him in the head if it was legal.

41:59 while he's on his way down? because for sure most people don't like to be arrested and then you never know when someone's became a cunt he became a cunt by doing his job probably didn't even realize he was a cunt he Of resources and how how much crime exists in our world you would say well like you know personally you stuff like alcohol tobacco and all that stuff started getting laws passed

45:06 of money. The pharmaceutical industry is so big, even if they have the best intentions, And then they connect it to the people. You haven't done your homework yet. I guarantee you the community would completely disagree. It's sad. I blame the leadership. Or treat them at least like humans. God damn it, Eddie Bravo. they do the people they actually experience it you don't think the

48:49 my dick it sounds like your body is probably doesn't work poisoned first a massage or anything no i haven't i haven't had time don't use a pillow go i need one yeah go to I'm glad that I can just deal with it because if I had gotten on something, makes uh the orgasm i actually see i, I'm weird about it. I even, a lot of people don't like the, whiskey dick,

50:39 you'd have to drink a lot, man. We've all been there. You have a glass of wine i've certainly been there i've gotten whiskey All over her pussy. Greyhound is and vodka So, man, I couldn't believe I was getting this piece of ash. And they're trying to get me to the toilet and i finally get to the toilet i have a couple more uh yaks left oh please never had never fucked her i never saw her again ever

52:32 Brian, please Sir, why do you have bile burns on your dick? Tried to fuck your girl up in her ass, didn't you? but i didn't fall asleep because i was tired because i threw papers all day It's weird. that i knew that had paper routes when i was young they were like more organized than the other kids fucking delivering newspapers on a bike It's torture.

55:18 Apparently, when you get older, you don't want to sleep in anymore. Everybody's got their own clock. 10 30. like i'm up late but you're always up later than me oh really usually like five yeah the my because he knew no one else was working out? Yeah. believe that it's actually coming out of his mouth he He did... What is... with his mouth. Did we play this?

57:35 think it was a long time ago dude now because i remember it was about maybe 20 episodes but Italian it's amazing in a movie you'd be like whoa shit being a movie with Morgan Freeman That's his mouth. God damn! have to watch that folks check that out on YouTube because it's it's such a weird thing to watch you Like Well he probably could pretend If there was a thing like what we were talking about earlier,

1:01:53 Would you be willing to try that? right before you're about to do it. At first, I'd be people dying. You never know. Yeah, Dr. Drew's in deep shit. Dr. One girl. are trolling she's calling love line man she could be totally trolling i mean there's people I'm sure if you have that much orgasms, Do you ever look at your old mattress? There was a lot of different and stuff and then there was like some blood spots you know there was a lot of different colors easy over here well they say that your your

1:05:06 And then you put your regular sheets on top of that. Check those out. Damn. stopped yesterday and then you fuck them and it starts back up you know yeah and then you have a no i just want to sleep naked and you're like come on that's not taking responsibility for having an girls would like it they want the the extra protein of the blood. Goth chicks, they'd want to blow you when you were on your period.

1:07:43 how many kids would there be? Well, maybe that would be the way but it actually goes back inside of you from the woman something drops a fucking hatch in there you get with just blown out dicks or you on a baby that would be awesome they figure out a way to Somebody just said that exact same joke the other day. had a very Jewish name, and you see cum dripping out of the butthole

1:10:47 it just stinks like shit there's flies around the baby at all times so this chick brings up this Like, oh, shit. You can even smell where things... you away from it it's interesting how that works I mean it's your your brain Yeah. What's the latest with the bath salts? consumption but people know what it actually is and you can go and buy it and you're essentially

1:13:48 So I think it's a problem of they can do that with several different drugs. seem to me it seems to be a good one it seems to be one that's got quite a fucking kick. It's like about doing bath salts Is he funny? Is he a funny rapper? Yeah. dude they said that mc chris yeah is he funny they tested for things that were they were known and that's what the uh the argument is against it

1:15:31 Wow. the message board That's awesome. If I was your boss, oh, wait. No, I have not seen Ted yet, but it was so great the whole time just got i never got to that level of just it was pretty good turning into a six-year-old that's gonna add director's cut i think it would be better maybe it is director scott do you know Are you fucking kidding me here?

1:18:40 Did you see the new Joey Karate? Because they're going bankrupt. Fuck yeah. Dude, he breaks it off. What's up 39? No 20 10th planet cush 25 25 there it is fucking degrees out there Chad Mendes who's he fighting guys what the fuck what Cory McKenzie whatever is Amazing. Ten fucking psychics on the strip can't pick that one. You understand me? What's his name?

1:21:59 Now you're going, Joey, what about Chael? He was making Big Macs fucking 15 years ago. Let me tell you something. Chael. The last time he fought bad Ted plan to take it from there. Yeah,. Yum Yum Kim is not fighting Chad Mendes. If I was him, I'd be pissed off. Damien Maia is one of the best jiuiu jitsu guys to ever enter into mma he's a multiple time world champion

1:24:10 I think he caught Chael off guard beast and if he's able to get a hold of guys at 170 he'll be even better but it's about whether or not this is healthy and whether or not he could still take him He pulled guard. taking the dudes wrestling and striking out of the mix. Damian Maia's guard is amazing. the thing to say about that and professional fighters a lot of them think that's what that's like the right the thing to say about that and professional

1:27:19 Well, you remember when Jason day fought Alan Belcher and just held him in rubber guard elbowed him. Yeah Vinny Magalhaes, he's going to be able to pull it off. You try to take them down or you pull guard most people only have two options if they can't take the guy down Three ways to win it. fighters to get as good as possible with their striking and their wrestling. If you could take

1:29:28 I'm not talking about. went right to an arm bar it works there's an option there's a way out anytime you're on your There's only a few people who've really taken the time to master fighting off your back That's a scary spot to be. Fabricio Verdun, like Ryan Parsons was talking about when they trained ground and pound with Fabricio. One-dimensional.

1:31:15 and bottom-game jiu-jitsu. with someone that's what a lot of guys a lot of guys want to go out there and there's jiu jitsu and get some fucking licks in and take their best shots, You know, that feeling, I conquered fear. You know, I can see that. Yeah, he seems like he's having a good time. guard if he can't if he can't take the guy down he'll try always try to take the guy down but if

1:34:15 and he looked great on his back. guillotines he says he says guillotines are a myth. If you really want to find the best choke in the game, you should know as many chokes as possible. So you tap real quick. and taps. It's the most effective guillotine right you know your throat's being smashed you can't breathe you got to tap quick so who's not afraid of getting choked like that he can put himself into all kinds of weird situations

1:36:50 That shit has a lot of power. Yeah, that's what Steve Jenim was. It was a legit technique in karate point fighting and different, you know. and they're probably close to the end of those great careers You like those? him up what do you think about yum yum kim and dong young and dong kim what do you think i think Yeah. think he really surprised the out of him it's there's a couple brazilians that are turning

1:39:47 You know who impressed the fuck out of me? He's got a victory over Amir Sadala. This could be interesting. He's probably in his mid-30s? him like the exact right way to do it and you know he know, he's not, he's such a bright guy. It just seems so unhealthy. You're going to be fine. You go back. I know, but what a weird way to do business. and they don't look good at all.

1:42:56 Maybe even, yeah. in uh he had like some sort of a career in uh gay porn he fought joe stevenson yeah undercard don't even know the answer to that question but so the dude had a little problem in his past I think you're right. Silva, Sonnen. Trying to find out. and Sonnen's having a hard time taking him down. You just don't know. jamie varner at a titan fighting championship so guess he uh he won a decision over him there

1:46:42 He can fight his ass off. there's a section He only did it for money. That would be awesome. Well, also, it might be a real mind fuck for a straight dude to get beat up by a gay guy. because you'd have to pin the arms a certain way, but they got the baton, hidden portals between the earth and the sun they're totally confused but they're No, you can actually go in this thing and it might take you somewhere

1:49:49 I can do it, too. It's on YouTube, and it'll explain it nasa discovers hidden portals in space and it's on uh on youtube which is kind of nuts. A favorite theme of science fiction is the portal, They're places where the magnetic field of Earth connects to the magnetic field of the Others are yawning, vast and Just one problem. Finding them. creating an electron diffusion region.

1:54:11 that tell us when we've come across an X-point or an electron diffusion region. to have to go back and listen to that and and and read the Somewhere between 11,000 and 6,000 years ago, it slowly sank away. a fuckload of civilizations that were like really you know pretty advanced for the time and they scattered rocks like you guys are like reaching like this is just rocks i mean maybe when you're

1:57:11 I don't know if what they can actually see is much cooler than the shit they've shown us. yeah could I mean yeah kid I mean how much would be left of something it was under the water from went back it sounds awesome if i was gonna write a script that's what i would write if it was like spacecraft that looks like rocks so when it's on the bottom it's just chillin like a rock of course they should be able to alter their

2:00:08 The whole idea of UFOs, the sexiest idea ever, like fuck david ike is that reptilian guy he loses me when he talks about reptilians so then it seemed That's what I think. and he creates a whole cottage industry. makes more sense to him now. Yeah. we had a great time with him he's an awesome guy yeah and he is not a bad dude man he just gets all He'll come up and he'll fucking hit you with some shit

2:03:20 He goes after it. murdoch what i don't know rupert murdoch michael rupert when michael rupert was was on the show And I think you get caught up in that the whole world is corrupt, Who knows? more than anybody any other time in history more people are aware that the government is fucking You don't have any proof. It's dangerous. there's something going architects and engineers look i'm just saying 1500 crazy people is not

2:07:13 like it's probably dick cheney was running all this wow he's that's what he's saying he said it is funny though that people don't want to hear that it is funny that this is something that would The head of fucking Star Wars. Yeah, but people always talk about credibility. If there was some guy on the street and said, I heard bombs go off, he's just some dude on the street.

2:09:26 So they had to sort of hide the fact that it was a big, giant money grab. Allegedly. He's the Tangerine Show, or murdered, car accidents, electrocutions, It's that shit over and over again. Lee, I'm proud. thank you yeah it's scary shit man but It's scary shit. They want to lock into it. If Dick Cheney A lot of people would. kept going on and on and how it's changed his life and changes way of

2:12:37 Isn't it a conspiracy? to sneak attack with jets were under attack? rules here let's just rob these bitches let's these bitches. And they all just touch knuckles and they realization of how the system works, a realization of just human life in general when I say the it you know it was difficult to find out what the fuck was going on. There's going to be a group of people that know everything. They have all the wave. I think the wave behind us is the wave that can't be ignored. There's going to be a group

2:15:17 with people and other people lock into it. And next thing you know, you got your own little You're not going to be able to hide they see this is part of the problem what are we talking about i don't know i'm talking about uh I'm more concerned about bad sushi that it's going to happen to them personally, That ain't shit. You're lucky you live here in America.

2:17:47 It's a weird world we're living in, man. If you plan on doing any speeding, you can go kiss that chick goodbye. Well, that's what happened in Iran. is going to figure out but I've got to assume If you're in Pakistan happening for them yeah when you were a kid you remember watching terminator you imagine watching Those traffic cameras that take pictures of you going through the yellow light or red light?

2:20:09 and someone questioned it. Next time, we've got to stop at like two hits. Yeah. You didn't know what the fuck was going on. We can cook with gas. They'll discover a new planet. Well, we're so impatient when it comes to discoveries and things. nature of the universe. Now, if you was cool they had cars for the first time they're like holy shit this is the most amazing part of life here if we're at the edge of the edge of technology

2:23:04 there's no spot in the universe that we can't reverse I mean ultimately if Oh, you did that? What do you know about the God particle one of them is this Higgs-Boson particle, this God particle. It's fucking, it's too within the next hundred years. It could... Yeah. Alienware laptops up we got these you motherfuckers we got an 18 he got an 18 inch which is insane it's pretty much

2:26:31 It's not that bad. It's not cheap, man. If you build it together yourself, you could probably build it for cheaper. But the reason why we're not supported, we're not sponsored by Alienware. And we try to support good companies, which is why I always talk about CTO, you this is your your reaction it's warm too do you like um this better than that uh non-pasteurized yeah oh it's warm you know what because one of

2:28:44 it's delicious fresh coconut juice where it hasn't been pasteurized or homogenized just right out of We didn't get your thoughts. Who knows? And he's not a type of guy that makes excuses in the past. So who knows? And Vinny says, he might be trying to blow up Chael, just keep polishing that shit every day. You got to get really good at passing. He smushed that guy

2:32:01 When they really get a feel for it It just crushes your fucking head. guillotine now something like that it's incredible incredible always chokes with You've got to get used to that. Yeah. Really? Or don't allow it at all. No, I think you should be able to wear anything you want. they didn't understand with this collar, because people are wearing fucking Vaseline.

2:35:37 A lot, though. you're gonna shave your fucking legs and grease up you know and and not only that adjust shit for more offense. you can wear anything you want. are greasy and if they're not they got vaseline all over their face it's going to get all over wearing gloves in rainy days or snowy days. Really? Yeah? Yeah, totally. It'd be nice. As far as the gi experts, the gi experts said, you know what?

2:39:46 They totally bamboozled him. Hickson's fights with Zulu he never wore a gi he wore little tight shorts yeah Or in Taekwondo, they call it a dobok, you know? to the brazilian to japanese kimono brazilian kimono gi and the brazilians didn't call it gi a brazilian was fighting fighting an MMA he could be fighting I mean like the level of passion that the Brazilian fans have it's not no

2:42:56 It was kind of like at an old beat-up kind of arena. the chairs like drums i mean it's amazing man they they got into it to the point where it was like brazil and i could be wrong but i saw this in the documentary it could be bullshit but they impact but marijuana is illegal there it's really uh really illegal it's not good at all gotta be And it's hopefully one day.

2:45:38 If they had weed for free, too, I mean, legal weed, we kept telling like we got to do this we're going to do that. He goes, relax. I forget his name. Henzo went to New York. It's nuts. Don't fucking relocate to Toronto. florida and he said fuck it he don't like the the weather in florida he went back he loves new york And he's one of the nicest guys on the planet.

2:48:58 Henzo's on Twitter. They're really close. Yeah. He's the guy that they based the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer. because they learn to think of moves and chains and regressions. i put it up online for 4.99 so yeah it's an amazing resource for someone who lives somewhere They're getting two or three of their friends, putting mats in the garage and study studying Marcelo you can study you know

2:51:38 planet burbank location which is on burbank boulevard what is the exact address 4130 west that's what you can learn from Hedgy Bravo. All right, you dirty bitches. Is it too late? All right, you freaks? And then next week, we've got Aubrey, who's returning from Peru, it's a 10th planet after party after the UFC They got music. tank in the show there's one other episode that we filmed that's going to air over the next two mondays so i don't think they're advertising it they're just sticking it in a hole

2:55:25 and we'll be in San Diego oh really and click on the banner I'm on a podcast. 15% off the number one Go check it out. Scientists will find them. all our awesome brain supplements.