Joe Rogan Experience #237 — Tommy Chong Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. little alien it's an overgrown kid thing thank you very much for coming on this show man to me Does he ever come to the fights and that? I was a kid. there's little girls that work there and I'm so sorry. And these things There's dudes out there which is kind of cool almost. It's like you're doing different exercises.

2:49 that's how they trained anybody figured out that working hard who was the first The city. where they're saying it's real possible that people were hunter and gatherers way longer ago than we think. It probably went back to it. And they say that the Earth's sea levels have changed so much that there's probably a like a bunch of shit like cities everywhere that's

5:05 where they had the cave drawings, And the way they formed them, it wasn't alley-oop time I'm lousy with okay so it's just So it was just a long time ago. We don't have to say a million. I've seen it. I don't know what it's called. Yeah, I know. I've seen it. What a weird thing of nature, though. Things like deer and cows, it's kind of weird that they don't eat meat.

7:25 were just looking to eat people we would have a real fucking problem with cows He looks good. Let's tear Zoos and for pets and experimented on yeah, I mean essentially all chimps are kidnapped if we admit the chimps are intelligent you could you could you could tell that was a generational thing you could you could tell who Right across his face. Well, that's part of the gig, you know.

9:48 That thing's not scared of shit. Did you see that thing on television? And then the commentator said, the animal trainer wasn't hurt bad. don't have ligaments yeah they showed the the bones the bones aren't You know, the strength would tear the ligaments apart. And they're razor sharp Then it's a Bengal tiger You know Oh, it was awesome. that as human beings especially lately and you know this last portion of society's last hundred

14:03 I mean, how many people, they eat meat, but they don't The animals, you know, Yeah, yeah. It wasn't in his car. So then he had to beg for forgiveness, and he had to be a beta. Especially a wolf that, they're so smart. Put the tail to the side, turn around. Listen, I'm sorry, folks. I mean, 20 feet. it's it's really ridiculous it's like everybody else is on a bicycle and all of a sudden this is

17:20 They want to sneak up. neck things to keep holding them down and doing them just like they do a salmon yeah that's their style yeah hold their guy was out of his mind i think that was like a suicide by grizzly bear yeah it's one of it's one And then even a little over the top when he was trying to convince people that he wasn't gay. That's probably why he was up there.

19:56 but they don't. So if you're living in this savage Roman time where everybody's just cutting people up with swords, for people just to agree to not chop each other up with swords. swords well they got guns in the south yeah a lot of places a lot of places Yeah, but they're like magnets. Silly people. Everybody knows that guy's a fucking multiple-time UFC champion,

22:44 The world is filled with mor oh yeah well you know they just can't help themselves yeah they're Prostate cancer how how far is it? It's slow-moving You're suffering right now from cancer, right? Is that what's going on? I got prostate cancer. And then I went in and had it checked about three, four times, So I got to the point where I had like four second opinions, you know.

24:44 But apparently everybody has can you're born And you stay away from stuff that feeds cancer. Isn't it? Yeah. I saw what went in, and I physically could not eat a cookie. Marshmallows organic? Right. Yeah. That's interesting. of sugar after the weigh-ins and then eats a bunch of candy. always something in there with the sugar right that that that's good for you well that's how

29:14 do you make like a kale shake oh yeah oh yeah i've been making uh i got a juicer a natural juicer Yeah. first and then took all the pulp eating this too sure you know i mean i guess you're getting a massively concentrated form But I couldn't eat it. That's incredible. Three months. You start tallying up scores and realizing, oh, you know, oil one of the doctors one doctor no no no he's a funny he's an old farmer from nova scotia and

32:40 spots on his body too and so he went in with a camera to the doctor, and the doctor threw him out. But do you think the doctor himself, as a doctor, wouldn't want people to know about that? Boom, boom, boom. amazing thing about these guys so what he did he turned his friends on that had I imagine you could. It's hash oil. So you've got to be very careful.

34:54 Oh, lose-a-day. to apologize to everybody i've ever met everybody i've ever met i'm I've ever met, I'm so sorry. Whatever I've done, the oil in No, it's... there's no law against that. medication yeah well when I was a who listen to your shit i'd heard about it but i never smoked it so i smoked a tiny little bit put it out and laughed It was that it was too good.

38:07 it was what was the it was the climate of like back then what year was 56 how rampant was Yeah, you could walk down the street smoking it. Four Tops. got the room next door and so when the four tops came back from their gig they bust in the room not with these guys. Come on. Come on. Look at me. Look at me. Do I look like a four top? But then if you got-

40:24 Everything they said about Calgary. Oh, I'll turn you on to something. I like, everything. I'm going there in a couple weeks. Everything they said about Calgary. Right before the UFC at the Jack Singer concert hall. Yeah, we put 50 people on stage with us. All those guys. I could hook you up. Now, are you using chemotherapy? No shit. I thought you were going to say a gay doctor.

42:13 But they'll keep your prostate from growing, and it'll keep the cancer cells from growing. Because it's a strong antioxidant? And the cancer cells can't stick to it. Yeah. And so I was water deficient. i drank enough but he's like you know you can look at when they do like a body mass index thing on I heard it's a blowout weekend with Jack Daniels.

44:47 Celtic sea salt okay it's it's rock salt but it has all other minerals in it too and you get as much a gallon or so of water And the thing is, the salt will make you thirsty. And the salt makes you drink more. is you think that's like just a tiny sprinkle you don't want put too much in That's why we have supplements. You're talking about supplements. We foods give you minerals. Right. You know, that's why we have supplements.

47:06 Like, you deplete the minerals from the soil. What really creeps me out is this whole Monsanto thing, I love what they're doing because what they're doing people out of business. Did you know that? Really? Coconut oil is one of the healthiest things you can eat. Yeah. They're all good. But the coconut itself is an insecticide. The plant itself. Yeah.

49:58 but they needed a defense against insects and birds. Sand. So good for you. You and I haven't worked in a long time. You know what I mean? When 9-11 just happened, I was flying to somewhere, Houston, or flying to Argentina somewhere. next flight or right there in other words it's the third world country. Right. So we're protected everywhere. You walk around.

53:28 Right. You should write books on how to break the law. I said, no, no. How about use them for some sort of an educational program? And now they're saying they're selling more marijuana than ever. And they either, they take the, you notice it. a safe house and then he drive home and uh he got just he got got ratted out. Someone ratted him out, you know. Could have been

57:01 and took the money let him go they took the money. Let him go. They took the money. Took the weed. It's just a money grab? But you don't need to be able to you don't need to invent a new system You can grow your own tomatoes. psychoactive and it's illegal yeah because of the paper industry and the pharmaceutical industry for the pain relief. we know that eating it where it doesn't even get you high when you just eat the

59:13 But it's not as psychoactive, right? than just just decriminalize it. Just leave us alone. I'll tell you an analogy that kind of covers it. It's impossible to change it. he's had labrador before i've had my share of bad stuff i haven't had bad weed for i can't even We were getting Thai stick, Thai weed. I mean, it's very creative, all the good weed.

1:01:51 It looks the same. And all that weed does for you, it cures, it kills cancer cells. You smoke it. It gets you high. You can make plastic out of hemp. Healthy plastic. Bi, you make plastic out of it. You can make plastic out of hemp. And most ropes up to that date had been made out of hemp. The rope feel. Yeah. I've done it all. Period. Seven times. Yeah. Six, the world. In the world. Period.

1:04:21 He's so careful about what he puts in his body. I smoked pot only a handful of times in my life, when I was living with my friend Jimmy Dutilio, So I have to drive and do this gig, and I am shitting my pants. Yeah, relaxed, focused on what I'm actually saying. Totally in the moment. You could have been, if you went on stage an hour earlier, topless actors yeah the girls that would go naked you know right and uh i'm thinking of doing one

1:07:20 Well, let us know when that's taking place, and we'll tweet it and pump it up and get everybody to listen in. I think that's We were basically something thousand dollars and it was uh he was supposed to uh talk about the the talking points of the positive sexual side effects of wellbutrin because like uh like a girl would call up and say and in releasing their paperwork apparently dr drew was a recipient of more than a quarter

1:09:10 I like him a lot. hear that man but see it's a bummer man that's the American way well crazy, unreal life where Yeah. What do you think? Is there charges? Here's the stance. It makes you closer to your friends and your loved ones. But you see what he's doing. You think so? was when the little teddy bear was doing a big bong hit. We got one hassle. but we didn't know there was a $5,000 performance bond posted.

1:13:09 I don't know. I think they're on the T-shirts now. Yeah, yeah. They're really good mug shots you like them did you use them for anything like t-shirts i think they're on the t-shirts now yeah yeah they're they're really good mug shots shows two guys but cheech so the old Chicano in Spanish goes pretty soon I'm not only sitting but I'm looking for a pillow because I'm tired and there's

1:15:26 Yeah, you guys actually have a really good website, Yeah. We've literally, you know, starting with Egypt, Libya, you know, the Internet, taken over the world. Now that you mentioned it, I got you a present here. Oh, it's not a pipe. What is that? Oh, so I don't have to feel bad. I really appreciate it. And now they're just figuring out a release strategy.

1:17:51 especially since you do so much work Or is it just too much And before that And we made a couple million. Oh, that's cool. He covers up the titties, the cement titties. Somebody sent me an album. The more you listen to them, when he was sick or something He wouldn't do it. And they made her the chief of the prosecution. And by the way, you weren't even selling the bongs.

1:21:22 They went after me. Two judges at a dinner party. Every now and then I'll talk to a square dude I got all kinds of friends. We can all get high now. Oh, they want to take pictures and lie and tell me stories. it's too much risk then I'll give it I'm positive. So then I moved. yeah actually I do and so okay so So they're helping, you know. So they're moving tables and washing floors.

1:25:49 Because the hippies will hide behind a wall to see if, oh, they're working. Oh, they're from Saskatchewan. You've been those headbands were soaking wet with sweat, man. That's the kind of club it was. That is hilarious. Right. they just left they just left they couldn't make a connection and they knew they got spotted you Oh my goodness. Yeah, Like,

1:28:37 Yeah. That's why I just legalize this shit. make mexicans blacks and that's why they call the marijuana and blacks were taking it you're not making this up but they were actually except the cocaine and heroin was also the Chinese opium. That was my line for years, you know, Yeah. barely got you high right just nice just nice especially if you're a musician you know you don't

1:32:26 It's really you've died. It gets less and less as you get older They want that peaceful, calm, gentle, sweet. Is it that, or is it just that it stimulates these unbelievable feelings of love, You get cramps. The dude never got out of bed, just laid around all day. And the guy, the pill freak across the way, he goes, hey, you want to sell that? Right.

1:35:22 That was their job. what are you doing over there and but actually it was it was like a spiritual, for me it turned into a spiritual retreat. Nine months. That's a long time. It's almost a year of life. I got hit on one time. The barber? The employees are the guards that have to wear their uniform in the scorching hot hot sun and like the river choir you know one of those things and we're laying out

1:37:57 Hey, Chong, I'm a big fan. came by my cubicle and he's real nice you know big fan and so then hung up the They have a snitch culture It is. And the jails violent, you know, they'll get you out of there. Yeah, we had Indian grounds. And their form of worship is a sweat lodge. The guy that had been in there, I don't know how many years, It's like a teepee, you know?

1:41:29 Every weekend. The last, what were they, the last Chinese men. Yeah, so the Native Americans. And David Aiello, David Aiello, he wore a headband. So he wasn't even really doing time. and people would drop off puppies and unwanted dogs or you know just strays and just kick them Well, the dogs, they never come to the camp at all. So they had a whole strategy. Oh, they had a strategy. Man, they were so brilliant. And we tried. And we also had wild ground squirrels. And you would feed them by hand. And the ground squirrels, a whole, almost as many ground squirrels as there were prisoners. And we'd walk around this track

1:45:04 And they would sit there and they'd And part of his job was keeping all the lights working. And he was serious. Everybody. And Eric Larson, he was one of the first guys I met when I went there he was he was doing time for cocaine and what happened he was just a caddy and he was just behind but the dealer And he won the first case. Because the feds are assholes.

1:48:17 at the time he was brilliant guy he's got two college degrees when he was in in prison he was No shit. Florida. counseling him a little bit you know and tell him you know hey you know you can't let prison reenact that feeling anytime that's why Cheech and Chong are so important to uh a lot of our that's exactly what what i had in mind in fact every every movie I did, I said, I'm not going

1:51:35 And it's a lot of people's favorite movies. Do you still ever run into people that don't want to, We came up when Aykroyd and Belushi were together. to do an album because Cheech and Chong didn't know right and blues and the producer kept saying uh yeah that's two cheech and chong two cheech It's true. It was a hoot. Sometimes I can't even tell with you, Cheech.

1:54:38 You want to get stoned? I have a scholarship to Indiana University. That was funny. Yeah, but why didn't No million, no... That was funny. Yeah, you've never been on there once. There's some hits for sure, but it's so When I started, I kind of got back into the music for a hot second. Well, you had other... But any act they can bully, you know, then they would.

1:56:54 I got both my sons. you know we're out there it's our stage yeah you know i don't like sharing I love it. In fact, I'd rather just drop down, you know. Like I put the sweat lodge in the show, about rocks yeah yeah yeah great yeah he sounds he does sound like beetlejuice doesn't he yeah those things yeah yeah yeah the necklaces I had I grabbed a bunch I

2:00:10 or they connect with you And then they have Like the town has something like that? I can't wait to get back there. mother nature. mountains i think when you see mountains and shit like that i think it puts you in a more mellow Where they live sucks. Just get over it. Iraq, Sumer, that's what they think. come from even earlier that they were like retold.

2:03:26 discoveries. It's just what's going on now is this radical offshoot of it And it just, it becomes this weird form of brainwashing on our part and almost, like, That's the whole secret. the universe frowns upon bitches that's what it is the universe doesn't want you gotta you gotta but for some reason you get a crowd of people also you can there's one weirdo

2:05:31 I some woman got super mad because I was doing this joke about that the idea disgusting and as she was saying it she's like walking through the club just like poisoning the Yeah, it's funny. swimming learning how to swim oh my god and with the ymca guys okay one bathing suit Oh my god Swimming Learning how to swim Oh my god So he's just watching you

2:07:39 But what it was playing basketball at the y in hollywood and um there's a locker room there no this is in New York is in New Oh, that's hilarious. Thank you. You ever do the Ice House? He did pay us. Yeah. What was it? Yeah, Steve Martin. he he had a clean policy for years Did he really? Oh yeah That's hilarious Stand up comedian Probably the funniest guy on the planet

2:11:13 Yeah, yeah, yeah. By himself And he's going to document it all And he's going to get up first you know like lizzie tomlin and all the street laughing people you know they would come And then the guy comes up. Fuck that. That would piss him off. Cheech did a fucking leader is that she stood do one one bit where where a That was it. of your like when i was uh you know i was like middling i couldn't i wasn't really making real

2:15:44 This is my act. It was one of those fucking comedy clubs in the middle of nowhere. I don't even remember where it was, what part of New York it was somewhere in New York. It was one of those fucking comedy clubs in the middle of nowhere. Find out who you're booking on that stage. Exactly. I a tape the tape had the same material that i was doing they

2:17:05 Oh, yeah. Cheech doesn't like it. Is that what it is? He's not a threat to Mencia or anybody. together for so long yes no there is a few bad decisions made that we don't talk about you know you know when when we broke up the the decisions i made uh we got offered a big television contract back in the back in the day you know What was it like He was a real tough guy

2:20:06 so they just copied that and turned it into a sitcom he got an old man albert and he got chico And that's one of the reasons that I turned down television. You know, it's a production company that goes, hey, I got a great idea. Right. you guys doing a comedy show but what we have to do, Just stick with the internet, interesting you stopped doing them or yeah well we went on tour and then I

2:22:14 It's all set up. Yeah, the anticipation for it. Yeah, the anticipation. But you could tell. and some mannequins that look like Brian's ex-girlfriend. Oh, I'm so psyched. 10 minutes just letting it do that. Japanese culture I think it's amazing the samurai culture the fact that there's And they'll refine it into something. Everybody loves those things.

2:24:35 You know what I'm talking about? Wouldn't that defeat the whole purpose? You murdered that bitch. and then I ended up But was it better looking once you did it? Oh, it was phenomenal. We showed pictures of it on this podcast before. Well, they had the electric car, too. You've got to go to the can, man. Olive Garden menus We went to go see Dice I just, I don't know.

2:27:52 Oh, you didn't think I was going to be good, huh? you're you know yeah to watch him get angry His character is, in my opinion, He's a combination of reality whatever it is he's a combination of reality and his creation yeah he's he's dice clay he and when after the show and Brian and Sam Roberts. He goes, I do no research. He's got that great New York attitude.

2:30:17 We were at some convention or something. yeah, ain't nature a cocksucker? attitude it's a very different It was funny. But all he had to do was get a Dice Clay to direct it. You know, you can't take that shit back. I mean he had it he's a good actor yeah fine actor I saw him in another movie a At the top of the Riv. Right. Did you write her material?

2:32:55 And so we get gigged, booked with Bobcat. Something, blah, blah, blah. I said, am I, this is the top of the river. What? And now he's done. But he cried like a little fucking baby. Oh, maybe. know you you take your right your hits with everybody else you know that is true yeah yeah But Bobcat. I really enjoyed having him on the podcast too. I've got to check it out, but

2:36:00 I'm sure. Good laughs. like so probably when was what was the context of him saying this well he had a you gotta love it you know showing up to the set just hammered that's his line well that's what Well, he'll never take his kids to see this Ted, you know? Is he trying to change his image or something? Tommy Chong just just gonna be well as long as they keep the same director yeah yeah because i think they'll think

2:39:07 I mean, they helped me with some medical things. Yeah, and so is Laura Prepon, right? Really? Is that what it is? Before we'd go on stage, every time Cheech would have to go take a dump. Yeah. Wow. There was already a podcast. name it something else we call it a pop cast this is ruining my image being connected with That's your new hook? How long have I got to go see the guys?

2:42:07 Show me your magic finger, Brian. No. This show's over. protein powders coming soon possibly sell them to send cannonballs through the Alienware isn't even a sponsor of the podcast. Go to Alienware MMA on Twitter. we got Adam Kokesh who's on it? out this comic-con thing see what the fuck is going down. Yeah. We'll see you Dirty Bitches soon. We'll see you soon. Thank you.