Joe Rogan Experience #257 — Immortal Technique, Swavey Krokett, DJ GIJOE Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Check it out. Like a million people hit me up. And then, of course, y'all see this thing is not a bomb right here. That is such a family gesture when somebody offers you some food. Jesus Christ. I was just in the middle of eating so many like hamburgers or something and someone would counter reaction to it. It was more like, all right, I'll listen to you if you're really kicking knowledge to me

2:25 The whole thing is so ridiculous. in these little tiny cages. So all the females went in one direction before we were about to eat You have to have a really sharp knife and slice That, to me, seems like you're getting crazy. People had to invent a knife. You know what I'm saying? I think there are people that don't eat any vegetables when they should.

4:56 BLT, hold the lettuce and the tomato. You're eating fruits and vegetables. Like, no, nigga. Yeah, the real dark ones, like that iceberg lettuce shit, that really doesn't do much for you. It's like there's a price that has to be paid. What seems crazy to us is also That's crazy. It's like, nah, nah, nah. Intelligent chicken from space. I'm Sway 7. And I love to smoke.

8:05 Well Yeah Born Legacy movie last night I heard about it last night. I have a problem with him. You can look at somebody and you can see the eyes of the window to the soul. I think he's from Boston. The action was good, but it was just like the storyline was so garbage This was a pretty complicated movie. They're trying to squeeze in 400 pages in 90 minutes.

10:13 several other people just didn't want to do anymore. He keeps saving this super hot chick over and over and over again. They suppressed it. The best way to be a superhero is to just be a martyr. That's when you know it's not real life. But your dad would be a regular nigga He was a little sensitive nigga, but he had a couple girlfriends. If you went to comic books, you know the original

12:12 We're talking to the comic book Word to mother. I thought the movie was badass. Isn't it funny that that's just They used to treat new york like it was another city and then the big city maybe a hundred years ago was paris france you know what i mean before that london you know Because they've done a lot in front of you. And I think some people like the safety factor, but at the

14:02 happened to me before, where I'm Don't move. you to do anything and when they're like all well, you don't got nothing on you, I'm a grown man, dude. I'm talking about let's wrap it up, fam. And I'm like, I'm just eating a McGriddle. You know, it was like, Go take six hours because I guarantee you when you come back here and there's nothing a shot. He is a serial killer.

17:23 And his story was the same as with the other dude and trying to pin a case on him. that there's a record of that. No, I mean, Like, at what point is there no system to regulate the police officer? you didn't find a gun that he had on him? How did that ever get proved in court? You ain't shooting nothing with your handcuffs on. agile can, even with a handcuff

20:06 Oh, that's true. July 28th. And then they'll get it settled. Because I don't know if, I mean, they say, and I was watching on the news this morning, they said, oh, we have all these new incredible things that's going to prevent it. city wasn't destroyed by And that's why you got to move. I normally don't gamble, but Slave has a hot hand at the crab table.

22:17 When it comes to real shit, I'm very fair with all of my peoples, and I pay everybody Don't start your road rage. You're going to hear Yeah, I love You know what I mean? I'm just completely fucking around, if you hear this. My friend Urge actually flies planes. Wow. I told you. Yo, let me tell you. Wow. nicotine and crazy They do that with the hash in

25:18 They're like blending cools with it. shout out to my boy Nims the hood Shout out to Diabolic, Diz. Rock and roll rivalries also are a little bit more under the table, whereas hip hop Or some fucked up shit happened, or who took someone's girl and wiped her up. Or a coat. that there is no fucking man. is just looking down at. You had female activists hitting you up?

27:20 it's probably because people have been like fucking with her her whole life. Because she's a woman kind of psychological rebuff operation you're doing on your brain right here so i'm trying to Jon Jones. But he got injured. You get your mindset. And I think that he – I don't think anybody fucks with him. You know, his decisions, he's a grown fucking man and a world champion.

30:48 I'm now the champion, except maybe in the eyes of a few He's all UFC. This is a format. and your opponent's movements and stuff and try to count into that shit you know i just look at I think if Chael has more time to prepare, like if Chael has the time to bulk up and to be a legit 205, saying all kinds of shit that he's a nightmare to him. Yeah, why do I need to fight you?

33:20 And he pulls down the pants on Saturday Night Live. I remember that. But, yo, dude, you ran into somebody that was not playing, stories ever. I don't even want to You're a sick fuck right there. That's from punching people. He didn't like the way it looked on his hands, so he wore a glove. Jonathan something or another. He was probably somewhere piss What was his name? Jonathan something or another.

35:14 I didn't do anything. You know when Bret Hart used to put him in an executioner? I just ragdolled him a little bit. And it was a heated moment, man. I heard they're doing the show again. I was just about to say did you use it for? Yes, they had twins is what it was. We're going to nuke this bitch from orbit. Jesus fucking Christ. Two. It's ridiculous.

38:03 Me. Those are two times where I was like this is not good But that one takes the cake. Because see what happened is TMZ got a hold I see the commercial. But this time it's like, no, we have donkey nut for you. And if they did, these two girls would have been – I'm like, this is... I'm pretty honest with myself. It's like cold clam. Shout out to Southpaw.

41:14 Oh, my goodness. We got to get an iPhone case with a little clip on for a chain. But you'd have to put it in your back pocket. I lose everything. Harlem. check. And then literally like a day later he was like, yes, someone reported an iPhone Rob Markman That's beautiful. That place was amazing. April, right? Mushrooms are illegal. what a dick. he goes,

44:15 I can yell at performers He made a joke out of at the end. did a lot of dudes were influenced by him so much so that the punchline atlanta has a green room Do you have scheduled battles? That might be fun, man. It's on a whole different stage now. I want to hear a little of that. For shooting tips, truest shit, I hit bricks. He did skip it. Get him, Swaig.

47:45 I'll smack your head off, catch it and talk to it like I told you quit playing with me. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! cause they think we too stupid to get it. I mean... Even the dude's laughing. They were shitting on a nigga's squad. So I don't know how much of mine he got on him. I prepare a certain amount, and then some of it I save for when I actually see the person the day of.

50:16 Right, right, right. Freestylers before could be like, I wasn't on that day, because sometimes you're on, Money, money. They gave money, but also, like I said before, the prize was to be able to I make really good songs. Tiers. Who? This is hilarious. I need to now. Joe, we had battle rappers last night on Naughty Show. Mav Hoffa. Just snuffed him in the whole melee boat.

53:33 Get out of my face. We went to see Terry Norris fight. And every other word instead of like... Rob Markman, Right. They said that God lived within every human being and you had the ability to either be godly or devilish based on the responsibility of your own behavior. at the same time, something that's based more on reclaiming the things that we lost ethnically

55:39 know we sons you know we have brother right that instead of adopting different language to try and get away from your you know my nigga nigga you know we have brother right like that instead of adopting different language to try the fuck stop you whining bitch y'all gotta wear this hat man for all the the squatchers out there the world do you hear about the bigfoot dude man yeah should take a moment of silence take a moment

56:54 So he got killed by two teenage girls. Exactly. Ran over by another one. Stop with the Bigfoot thing? He's had two encounters. walking through the woods He could have been. They have the exact same thing. To try to go to find an unsubstantiated animal, it would really cost an incredible amount of money. Listen, I think it's an important thing when we're asking every person

59:33 Jesus. What was that? Yeah, what the fuck was that? And we don't even know. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Can you imagine if we sent a fucking sub down there I would check. We're super gods. What y'all been doing down here for all this time? of talking about that may be true. And the way just like you gave that that that analogy about the way we appear to those animals,

1:03:06 gigantic dinosaur-like monkey They place a plastic I am not complaining. People would be like, what? really interesting shit. It was really, real, real in-depth. very complete version of a human being And eventually you make money somehow or another doing that. had these fucked up childhoods that they had to deal with, in a very clever battle rap. How does one enter into these?

1:06:48 You actually come in and they'll set you up with like an amateur battle the main place right now is kind of like All-female battle. People go and audition in the little tryout league. just fucking clown you. Yeah. Strong line. This is nonsense. You can't, at the level where you have people choking Well, it is. Yeah. trying to do anything. And if you don't hear that in your life,

1:10:21 Shut the fuck up. going around the country. It's just that type of life. Hey, you guys. Right. Light up. Keep me happy. Hey, light up. You're like, man, do I even agree with what the fuck I'm saying? I don't even believe what I'm saying. You fucking know. I'm a professional shit talker. to language. The context is not important. They're not the rule.

1:13:26 I'm going to work these little routes. No, no, no. Maybe a Chinese dude. That's some go with the flow type shit. I did a song with him called Land of the Gun way back and he just called me one day. And just giving me work at pointers, punchlines. A couple hundred Bet or I just put up Is talking reckless During the battle, P. Diddy made the announcement that whoever wins, he's going to give him 10 stacks.

1:15:53 This is danger. about it. The way I listen to Suave Sever's music and stuff like that, that you can have these really intense, real moments and then break it up with some laughter and make a good point, great joke. It's ridiculous. He's just saying, hey, you know what? Well, it depends. This is interesting. He jumps in and allegedly breaks up the fight.

1:18:49 whoever it was Let me tell you something. She look like Ralph Macchio in The Outsiders. Ralph Macchio. You know who that looks like. Hell no. If the timing does add up to be correct, she probably wouldn't be that fast. I had a homegirl of mine named Lana. My homegirl, Lana, she was parking a car, and a dude told her to get the hell out of Mind you, a regular-sized man punched a girl, and she ends up in a coma. A gigantic fucking machine of pummeling.

1:21:04 Are you fucking kidding me? Not just training. I don't know, bro. He was in UFC 1. I don't know. They just would have a round back then. Three times. No disrespect. these two shorties that That's common everywhere. Oh, slap this. It takes a while. Knocked her. Y'all jumped over the counter of his job. where you're supposed to have honor? now she's jumping over now the other one goes around

1:25:27 Because before anybody says nothing. It's very rare that you see a dude beating the fuck out of a chick with a metal pipe The other thing is this. That guy's defending himself against two. The cop? You see what I'm saying? They would have caught it a porno. i'm gonna rip you off and if you happen to get thrown across the street, you know what I mean?

1:27:56 I'm sorry. Asshole, black, white, Asian, Latino. She go... I'm a trained... Hey, what's up, bro? You know, all my off days, I'm not feeling it, man. For real? There's enough shit in life to care about. The world's lighter, bro. internet. Oh, like bath salts Or in the mail, post office? But the postal service delivered, like, this is one. I would imagine that someone's

1:31:19 at our grandparents and be like, I honestly can't think that they can continue give. Because they keep clamping down on it harder Look, what you're doing, the government also sees it happening to them as well. their fuckery. Someone's going to WikiLeaks I feel like he was shoved into that position by his family. No, no, no. You know, the petty criminal takes from you.

1:33:57 We're willing to give up the pawns. It's like, look, dude, when you've got two big homies that say, We got old ass operating systems with it. So we gotta fucking fix that, man. If you can do that, accomplish anything else? That's nonsense. to make an economy out of fucking war. People that get together in a large group of special interest individuals that probably all

1:36:54 talking about the contract, the 20-page contract. I know what I would do. I'm not going to be able to do that homie Yo fuck that I'm going to kill niggas This is horrific. Remember Gorbachev had that big stain on his head? I went maskless. You know, the idea behind it is so crazy that all these billionaires together would try to control everything and no one's going to realize it.

1:38:56 Look, funny, I was having a conversation Really? Oh, 1st and 2nd. and China will have this policy And when you flood them with that information then it's like well You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, for real, yo. the same thing, the Android thing. Just the fact that your car is a fucking, everybody's car's got a navigation. Reverse the MapQuest instead of looking at it and going backwards.

1:41:51 Terrible fucking directions. Complete, no map. I'm here on 145th, man. I leave New York and go hang out in BMO or go hang out in Miami or Detroit or something It's like there's an awakening. You know what's going on in New York right now if it concerns you. that are assholes because they don't want their face in the pictures and shit. That's what it's named.

1:43:43 But we buying all those tickets today. What the hell's a wolf ticket? And just selling So what up now pussy It's annoying too okay, I think we need to fucking water. You know what I i mean if you're out there You're hunting something. if you want to look at it that way but i think uh i don't advocate killing animals like that And people are worried about them now. It's like

1:46:49 Like if you go back in time, like in the 2000s, Big bad wolf shit We haven't seen no wolves I caught that. Think about that shit, man. I don't know about that, quite honestly. Listen to this shit. just went on a tear. Motherfucker. I know that part was huge. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know, man. That ain't your Pomeranian, Hooker. They will get on their best behavior. Exactly. Dogs get on an actual wolf. Yo, keep it real. They will get, they get doing their best behavior.

1:50:39 That's a big fucking wolf. That shit was once human. I'm not into any werewolves made in this. It's nonsense. That is so funny. We had this guy, Steve Rinella, in here who's a hunter. with like an old rifle that they used They're big fucking wolves. Yeah, so three of that's real, man. They're like 200-pound wolves. They're big fucking wolves. out of all of them

1:52:25 They're decimating them. Rob Markman They own some real Velociraptor shit. Pete got coyotes in his backyard, and the coyotes in his backyard, he said they be killing I live way the fuck out there and there's coyotes in my neighborhood all the time. You better run, bitch. Those motherfuckers little devils, dude. Come on. This is where we're moving. They'll adapt.

1:54:58 We can't get crazy. If it was a goblin, would it be okay if I killed it? Dragging its limp body up to the top of a tree and eating it in front of you. A big one today is like 25 feet, 30 feet. Oh, crocodile. We should send in those predator drones. Is that you, Brian? That doesn't look like that shit is playing. it seems like he's playing man what video were you gonna pull up?

1:57:49 Way scarier than an alligator. Gatling gun shit on that. I'm down for dogs and nice things, like cats and shit. There ain't no blue gators. You know what I mean? An alligator-based shoe. They paid way too much for it at some specialty novelty shop. They eat them, but it's really bad for them. and hunted him down but now they've made a strong comeback yeah they're in front of people's front

2:00:10 And the fence is only going to do so much for so long. He's still living, but the alligator snatched his leg. You know what I mean? He's in a wheelchair now. He's still living, but the shit snatched his leg. He could have done that to an adult. They're really for that! We killed them off! Smarter keep everything else in balance. voters, what gets taxpayers

2:02:22 The deer population increases I was with a kid one time driving die on the road. That's amazing. That's around in places where they're not supposed to. And my point is not that. What the hell is the purpose of the mosquito? They've eradicated all nature. People eat pigeons in a lot of parts of Europe. Apparently, they taste pretty goddamn real short, but they had like a ton of them.

2:05:16 In New York, Pigeon and broccoli. It's supposed to be good, though. I'm sure it was pigeon. Because this is not a cow. You went to Belfast before I went with you. What is this, a possum? I toured Europe. Rob Markman No, but you know what it is? That texture to it, yeah. I think it was, I forget, I think it was Peru, I forget, but they had, they keep guinea

2:08:08 was a guinea they thought it was a big rat they thought they were selling rat Really? You got to take it on a ride in a boat and put one in the brain. And that's the problem in Florida. because an alligator can hold its breath for hours. picture ever it's a giant 20-foot python with an alligator inside of its body and the tail is like I mean, There's no way we found

2:10:20 no problem look how god damn big that is they can suffocate me and you in like a second. Yeah, that's crazy. What are you going to do? No more fear factor. He got him. It ain't that little. Yeah, but that crushing thing, he's breaking bones, dude. Oh, breaking bone. He's while he's suffocating eating it at the same time This is what it is. That's going to be the next show Joe Logan.

2:12:36 He's just slowly fucking up that alligator. super smart things that kill things with their face they don't even have a hand to hold on to Oh, my God. Joe Rogan lives in my. You know lost a lot of respect for you crushed it a bunch you see him him like he wrapped it up. That's it. You know, for a while, like, if you didn't live anywhere near that, you didn't get a chance to see something like that.

2:14:58 The Filipino crocodile. What would they do? So they was like, gotta be big well you know For real, the Philippines has the best pool players in the world, man. But, yeah, no, they have a huge population of people that play pool. Powerful Mike Swift. That one. What the fuck? How fucking hard was it for him to hide for all these years? They go and take a deep breath and then they just sit down.

2:17:12 They don't have to eat for one year? Pull up the video, Crocodile Attacks Water Buffalo. It's just water. But this shit happens. Hey, you guys don't know nothing. I mean he's an asshole. Right on the top right there. Imagine what it feels like being the guy who's filming that. Let's take a shout out to Alienware. That's a big, big crocodile though. That's a big fucking crocodile though.

2:20:15 Kidding, I'm kidding, that's me pulling your leg. OHHHH! It's like, to survive, your face dies. I got you. nature's garbage system. is to get food, Eat a prepared meal that he ain't catch for nothing. Everybody just steps the fuck back. And when the hyenas are bigger than the males to make themselves And she gets on top of the male with her fake dick and dominates him.

2:22:49 Pull up female hyena fake penis. and rub that dick in his face. in the animal world. I'm going to shuck the kids. What the fuck? But I bet you can. Imagine if that was our life as men. I really... They're just like, Jesus Christ. you say you're real young, but by the time you finally get to her when she's like 22, so I'm going to go, you know, deal with a woman.

2:25:43 I just want to fuck, you know what I mean? There's no way you are generating the kind of impact that I can do. I'm not trying to hurt anybody, but I'm letting you know what the fuck is going on here. With your weak lower back. If you're a lesbian, I'm a married man. for real? a tap out of it. Shaq. You know? Good luck, You can't. Yeah, you need help heavy belt on You can't You need help Joe

2:27:55 Nims kill me when he say Rob Markman Beautiful things. I think that's what keeps a lot of it. You'll say some really important shit, and you're telling them to suck your dick. trouble for saying something on stage. Yeah, man. He said he stole his man's jokes and shit like that. But he was getting away with some shit that he just should not have been able to get away with

2:30:16 It's not even Louis C.K. all the people that are real big Hicks supporters. And then there are people who were like, yo like 10 minutes of my material. because there was so much He had a sickness. I think when you're the performer, why would you give someone else the mic? Because that's what we call him. You can't let it take over. Oh that was you You're a fucking thief man

2:32:20 He also knew He was calling me a little bitch and saying all that. There was a lot of people that were supporting him in the beginning, man, and I was still yelling at the audience, but then they self-deprecating. He doesn't understand how And he tried to stand on stage and continue it. We don't allow that shit in hip hop. the most hack-free city ever. I live out there.

2:34:22 Shout out to Lynn, Millie Mike. Yeah, when you're running You might stumble upon some mob dudes chopping somebody up. Like, fuck, that city right there just turns into houses and mansions. Co-op city. You go two streets down. You know where that was really prevalent? I was like, what? They had a kosher Subway? They had a whole different menu. And there was a cop in there.

2:36:48 like what do you mean another one he goes yeah someone just got shot in the face here yesterday God, what a strange state that was. It was different. What? I don't know windows. Rob Markman 2.: Because yo, if I would've went down, nah, I'm seriously speaking- Rob Markman 1.: Hold on, hold on, hold on. Listen, listen. We was around a whole bunch of people doing whippets. Because, yo, if I would have went down.

2:38:31 But the thing that made me mad is they were so thirsty to take us down there. The trash can was overfilling with them. Apparently. League institutions had a room in the basement Like, how, that doesn't even make sense. Like, where they sacrifice? You know what I'm saying? they start running parts of what is supposed to be his kingdom and he allows them to have

2:40:57 And according to people, that is what takes place at Bohemian Grove, Nobody knows about it. You're going to the extreme. was the dog. And on the day that you graduated, the last died, you were gone. It was like your responsibility was the dog. Yeah, you might be sick of their shit by then. I got to make it so that I can relate to it. they didn't step to the left so he grabs

2:43:28 Chops her fucking head off and says any questions and they all step to the left charge that's some old stupid shit and it shouldn't have one person running And I'm saying, look, I'm not saying that Obama is a perfect candidate, but I'd rather have. Delegates are blocking in stuff. And unfortunately, without Ron Paul, we don't have that. Really? Pull up Hyena's Mouth.

2:46:00 I want one. They got two of them. They weigh a lot. Yeah, those are the ones that throw up on themselves to attract the primate. That is craziness, man. Oh, my God. Don't trust that bitch. We could do these a hundred times a week. Keep up with Joe Rogan's show. Maybe we'll do it for my birth. Maybe we'll do it for my birth. Swayve, maybe we can entice some of these battle events go crazy. That shit would be fun. It would be insane. I got a headline. Maybe we'll do it for my birth.

2:48:04 If the audience loves talking shit, at the comedy store next week. Who's doing this? I think that's Jamar Neighbors. You son of a bitch. Save it. Sway7? My name is family given. We talked about all kinds of silly shit. Thank you so much. This Friday and Saturday, we got late night shows here at the Ice House. Buy a Death Squad shirt instead. Download The Martyr where?

2:50:50 On And come back we ain't talk about. and then Thursday