Joe Rogan Experience #265 — Sam Tripoli, Shane Smith Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. Hello, this is Joe Rogan calling. Yeah. over there buddy from all this whenever I talk correct? Tell us all about this. because Joseph Smith said that rap, by the way. I mean, they're successful farms, they have, you know, nice little towns, and, you know, they're sort of affluent. just because they were trying to get off of drugs.

3:56 oh, now we're going crazy there. Yeah, so they started making these military checkpoints. where this guy named Errol LeBaron, who tried to take over the church, So they were ready, because of this sort of civil war within their own family, they were saying oh yeah you know who you should go hang out the romney's It's been reported that actually George Romney went to America illegally as an illegal immigrant.

6:52 I don't know. I mean, that's their own. Prohibition. So it was really interesting to hang out with them are the only ones fighting the cartels. there's kidnappings and cocaine And now it's, you know, it's just coming to the fore now. with the rest of the Mormons down there because it's crazy. When you look at the media, I mean, it's really damning.

10:58 what it should be doing, and this is what uh... then then you can get amnesty and history because it can't do him any good because drug wars and immigration and, you know, kidnapping and people getting their heads chopped off, you know, and the history of polygamy, you yet people are dying because we let the mob run who are really, really religious.

13:49 You don't ever question it. connection with them. When he has these conversations with like regular folks who have questions for him, is somebody who said yeah i come from this you know crazy shit in mexico and yes it's a problem If he would say something human, you know, By a factor of ten. By a factor's crazy. By a factor of 10. and now I'm here and this is what I'm doing.

16:28 I mean, the war on drugs is just like, it's a fucking joke. and you pass into wires which is say, where are all the adults? It's all us. How does that happen? like that truckloads of of of weapons grade I forget which lord when he was down there. It's a Coen Brothers movie. That's so... the lead cartel now, the Zetas, And then they said, well, screw this, we're just going to take over.

21:20 And so now we're fighting the people that we armed and trained. While this is going on, there's all this crazy saber-rattling about Iran. I'm interviewing him because, you know, it's not only Iran having the bomb, And when their border quits, if they become a failed state and they stop having patrols on Like, whenever you're down there, you hear all these stories of, you know, they're trying to build a wall, which is a joke because you just tattle under it or go over it.

24:13 like alcohol you know excuse me everyone drank and then they they made it illegal and everyone anywhere. You can get acid anywhere. You can get never higher quality, never for a better price. then the war will just get worse because it's billions and billions and billions and billions of dollars that is going to be run by the criminals because it has to be because

26:00 the more money that you can spend and the more money that you... It's not going away. How do they not just look at the Mormon religion in general and how people look at it as being I mean, it wasn't a great field for the Republicans. Like, Joe, if you were to run for president or Apollos would run for president, Has he ever been questioned on this publicly?

28:48 because it's coming out. old story because it was a big story when his father ran for president and everyone went crazy. It's a Tarantino movie. The fact that his cousins, they're all named Rami, his cousins are all there. You'd think That's incredible. It's so silly. It's so normal. because Americans still had subsidies here, but they didn't have subsidies there, all this stuff.

31:41 They don't want to leave their sons and daughters or their moms or whoever it is. in northern mexico are 100 caused by america and you sit there and say okay it's not like mexico was intrinsically poor they couldn't feed themselves In our backyard, we have something that's killed ten times the amount of American soldiers killed in the wars that we've been fighting.

33:21 And and mass scale and it's it's so hard for people to wrap their heads around. and they are literally physically connected to us. I mean, we've done such a bad job, it's literally laughable. And people who are more knowledgeable socially, who understand what we need to do to sort of try to fix this situation, they're not being heard. addressed at the same time while people are going after illegal drugs, which, for the most part, aren't the real problem in this country.

36:21 and have done nothing to call the poppy population, but if America and Mexico America, since it's been running Afghanistan, has become the largest drug dealer in the world A lot of people are making a lot of money off that heroin. I mean, it's so blatant. I love the promise of America. And everyone went, okay. then we have to know that. to take account and and look at the grievances that the people have but we're running by lazy

40:16 And I think that this is something that we should all aspire to. Everybody should be trying to move this fucking thing further It's swept under the table. but also, you know, you're a positive guy. And what you do is you find that truth and then say, look, now we have to action that truth. do is you have to say look there's a lot of people like us out there we have to start by telling the

42:41 what means America to you or to I. it into a money grab, all the things that ruin everything that's great about America, If the United States government can have a real succinct debate with the American people about why we're invading other countries, that would be some fascinating shit. You know, North Korea has bought weapons there, and, you know, well, for example,

44:47 the SOFACS, they do this sort of baddest special ops team on the planet, and the Marines were And at a certain point, you're like, look, we can't use our military as cannon fodder. Where's the money going And it varies from everything else tied together I mean, like, you know, well, did they have oil? That's the only thing that's going to save us at this point.

47:36 So do you wear both of them? Yeah. I know you have a bunch of other press that you're doing for this, in person. and I won't take the feeling is mutual. Your videos are the best fucking thing Alright, brother. Take it easy. sam tripley and brian redman were my dancing partners this weekend in sacramento Yeah, there's a big slice of california He's got this huge gym and all that Team Alpha Male dudes.

50:48 a long time i think that would be the fucking coolest thing ever and i've been stressing it like 10 at night and then like before that it's really dead Well, there's like two awesome colleges there, know um there's a lot of like old hollywood that lives there they're like they checked out and they what shane smith was mexico and how crazy mexico is because of the drug wars i heard part of it yeah phenomenal that was phenomenal

53:25 jumped in like it's bentley rollies and they drove me around and they took me this area and it was millions and millions of dollars into fucking you know importing marble and all this crazy What is it? and I was going that direction. What's going on there? We should do it everywhere. But the Comedy Store, I mean, the Ice House, me and red band and she must have been loving life but uh she's from chico and chico and there's

56:48 comedy uh comedy club it's a it's not a new place no it's well it's been there for a little while There's going to always be guys like Gaffigan who are fucking hilarious, who's clean. And if he swore, it was like an afterthought. The way Diaz does his comedy. I couldn't imagine he was good buddies with stanhope but i did get to work with him a couple of times i worked with

58:42 Nothing like me. And your comedy is different. to do it yeah because every people have gotten by like jerry seinfeld never talks about politics on She started it all. He's a good joke writer. it was a little going on with larry the cable guy you know larry the cable guy i've always felt as He's this and that. It's so interesting how it's so much more the messenger than the message when it comes with comedy right now.

1:01:58 That's where the impact came from. it also had nothing to do with his television show. yeah so you can't even see who you're dealing with well this is it's not that the room it's And then people want to fire them? I forget his name. And if you think that, you should have shown him. My brain sucks Not to me Because you remember, do you remember when you first started smoking weed and the next morning you'd wake up and you're like, wow, man, I'm my head.

1:04:50 My body goes through it pretty quick. Go online. I don't think I had. Because we were about to do a podcast together. So we just got deep, deep, deep, deep, deep into the hole. No, I didn't get anything. for me, it lights up some caveman shit that I have. thing get your blood pumping like if anybody else in my family wanted to cook the steaks i'd be like

1:07:55 Yeah, yeah, yeah. time based on how thick the steak is It's a different taste. and uh that's uh that's uh so that's much needed because uh i don't understand like what you know Everything now. And the price of corn has skyrocketed. Oh, Mike Faberman is a chef. We should have an event here and have him cook here. I know he's looking to do something.

1:10:50 fun guy to talk to too he has crazy he's old school comedy story he's been around there forever Yeah, we were blasted. Well, that was just a- You got high back then watching oh my god yeah blasted well that was um September 11th. Like, I can't believe that people went that crazy over something that dumb. They just immediately went to rocket attacks.

1:13:37 You've all got together and saw it. Yeah, that has happened. what's really ridiculous is all you have to do is make a depiction of their guy, Wag the dog? of a fucking movie. This movie is some shit out of a movie. She says, yeah, exactly. was the role of a mother talking to her husband, because her daughter is but a child and he's 55 years old. Rocket attacks on embassies is step one.

1:16:12 And it never seems to work out. Enjoy me better. General Wesley Clark reveals U.S. plan. He said, he reached over on his desk, he picked up a piece of paper, is going down um especially like what just happened in libya look what's going on i mean that's where Oh, Jesus. Yeah, it's crazy shit. Right. fight you know what you could do to somebody you don't want somebody doing that to you you know

1:20:01 like such an interesting thing that you're putting the guy in charge of the military He flew. And, of course, George Bush Jr. was like all the craziness of his National Guard duty. the guy that bush ran against The second First term was Al Gore I said McCain was the guy who Obviously the whole There's so much money at stake. Yeah, everywhere, man, everywhere.

1:22:47 right now in mexico like we are destabilizing that whole area for whatever reason i don't know then when you do that you get rid of the u.s constitution that's all that whole conspiracy it's easier to you know it's easier to deal with something when you're paying if you're you're It's it. know like how they're gonna how they're gonna make them hop on the amaro the only thing that could

1:25:14 I got no control over that, folks, and I'm really sorry to hear about it. Scalping? Cash only. He's going Pearl Jam. He just said, hey, I'm going to be at the Comedy Store? Now there's like five or six comedy clubs. It was really funny. We're trying to do these fucking things, if not every week, real close to it. Are you guys selling tickets off that?

1:28:05 but like it's hard for me to do new material there because it always crushes because you know they Well it's also Like they're your fans lazy i i write a lot uh i think he's really busy on a lot of different projects. There's a little feeling that you may be lazy. It's very hard not to look at yourself on that screen. Really? I was doing a lot of partying.

1:30:16 Yeah, well, that's why I had to stop. Nobody has to get hurt, Sam. You're a little flesh bag. I did one last night, and you bring up the top. I do is only one fourth porn stars now? and then you you just backed off of it and just mixed it up? Yeah after a while there it's just it's like I'm out of the loop. So did you start off at one point and it was all like you would try to get porn stars on, and then you just backed off of it and just mixed it up?

1:31:57 politics it's gross like they want to talk about sports they want to talk about fun shit they want The stories that you only hear for a glimpse and then they disappear. it's very complicated sam there's a lot of shit going on with being a gay republican first of all they appear to be, you know, they appear to be you know they appear to be know thing okay masa whatever you need masa right and like man this is sad shit like what are you

1:34:55 that's not, This seems so taboo. you find out these factories where all your iphone shit is getting creative is got nets set up because Well, it is true that it would cost more money, but I think it's been disproven that it would cost that much more money. I had a beard on. driving over there is crazy. You come all the way from the right, and you turn over there.

1:37:46 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Google it. So maybe that's where the issue is. motorcycle they nail people but see that's what they do. They just drive through. They don't give a shit. There's no rule. Oh, my God. These people are in the rain with these shitty cars, Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus, look at this. And you know what they say? It's the exact opposite of what you're supposed to do.

1:41:22 when we were in Sacramento, It's really simple. and turn an rv park pretty fucking easy yeah we went to an rv park when uh if they ever do ufcs Steve Byrne took me out. Hey, you want to come out? Okay, cool. Yeah, man. I'll do it. And it was a great time, dude. Who booked you out there? I don't know. Steve Byrne took care of it. And he'd be, hey, you want to come out?

1:42:58 They'll leave you alone, dude. As an American man did you eat a dog or anything no i you know what man i can't eat a dog and i don't want to eat like They didn't do it for me, but someone told me they were over there in China, What the fuck is that, man? Well, you know what it is, I think? We have brought in a special macaw monkey, you know, this poor little fuck that's locked

1:44:43 Do they really? You need to hear the sound of fact. YouTube that shit. Can you Google that? If you go to Google, they have images of like plates of monkey brains. all this nutty shit that doesn't do anything to try to cure impotence don't they know about viagra The eating of monkey brains from living monkeys brains is real shit thank you but apparently uh they just they cook them too it's like also it

1:47:50 Yeah, I found out that Bobby Lee's in a new TV show on NBC where he plays with the monkey from The Hangover, Because the monkey tested the highest they've ever tested on NBC. How do you rehearse that scene? He's hilarious. i was thinking how cool it would be just like once a month you and your friends get high and go scouting and go live in the woods

1:49:34 You shoot at them, and he jumps, and then you have to shoot them. Because you can't just shoot them when they're up in the tree, that man that's like going to a hamburger restaurant and hey here's your sledgehammer two pieces of wood with a semicircular hole on each side so that when you put them together, they form a complete circle around the animal's neck, Oh, God. Wow. It's just unnecessary. A teaspoon is used to scoop up the brains, which is immediately eaten. This has to be done before the monkey dies.

1:50:59 This was written in 1948 or 1949. Whoa, this is fucking crazy. Following a few simple instructions, to see that shit. What about monkeys that are assholes? Why would he do that? I think monkeys Well, they don't have any concept of personal, like, property. Yes, you can bribe them. Yeah, you can get your shit back. That's how their culture works. Can you bribe monkeys? Yes, you can bribe them.

1:53:21 He looks all rapey. Can you imagine how long you think you can fight off a monkey It's so rude. So I think so. But that guy could have been a pussy. And the guy they got was the most feminine I love her, dude. I was talking to some dudes today that got armbarred by her at Go-Kart's place. No, I've never hit a girl What are you doing? Sometimes. You cut off the dick and that's while. Is that what it is? Sometimes.

1:56:15 I got stalker dick. seen what you do on stage and if you could rock it like that in the bedroom i would imagine the I mean, I've never felt something that tight before in my life. Like, she was stronger. smaller than her physically with like bigger vaginas i have a theory that like it it's not completely sound but like the taller bigger girls have the tighter vaginas the smaller smaller girls

1:58:20 But I have not been able to do that since. I didn't know about it. her ass or her pussy her pussy and i go and then did you have to pay her because you're doing all I just don't know if he wants his name. By the way, we're going to get that Peter Duesberg guy on the podcast. is when people have a crushed immune system, He said it's a variety of different ailments that a lot of it is caused by hardcore partying.

2:01:08 Berkeley? What do you mean? You know, I talked about this with Fitzsimmons. I don't know who's right. but I'm going to bring him on, I don't understand the argument either way. That's what politicians have been doing forever. And fight in the octagon. But again, I'm not giving out any health advice, folks, especially when it comes to diseases. Yeah.

2:04:29 They're like Latino comics. that the other guy's a government agent, Behold a Pale Horse. You can't just say the aliens are here. Yeah, well, that was his theory that there's already a huge moon base. think that there's a whole sky in there i'm not sure i think there's more than one group of people when it comes to the hollow earth I don't know what the fuck they're claiming,

2:07:21 and thinking there's diamonds in there. The Guardian, U.S. data whistleblower. It's an olive garden, too. That's the guy that we had when we had David Seaman on the podcast. And he eats at Olive Garden. I'm watching a legitimate Olive Garden commercial. By the way, I'm wearing a Death Squad t-shirt. One of the new super going to say, the Naughty Show, which is Sam's

2:09:26 It's called Fail or something like that. Doug Benson had a great idea that I need to really get on the wendy's at night and it's the most hilarious video you'll ever see bad one recently man i saw Settle the fuck down. I'm trying to see a dude get kicked in the head in your promo and your bullshit. Okay, I got to know who's, I mean, like, Maybe he fucked his mom.

2:11:31 you ever see the one where the this crazy guy's in the park just swinging on chicks and guys and There's this one where this guy just is like this crazy drug. Horrific moment. Yeah, it was ridiculous. They come out and they ask him, This is fucked up, man. Bam. And he'll probably be fucked up for a long time from that. You ever see this one? Yeah, that guy got fucked up who knows what that

2:15:07 That's scary shit, too, Oh, boom. Yeah. I'm full of them. There's a knee to the face, son. Oh, left hook. Look at the guy sitting down. What's up with the girls? Get the girls out of here. Finish the choke. Where's the police? is all about i know if there's any russians that can tell us that dude you just stay in the water Oh, shit. But they keep trying to make up and then fight again.

2:18:18 Enough. True, true, true. What the fuck up? I bet you can barely see this bitch. Chicken dinner. I've allegedly done stand-up at that allegedly place. Oh, that's right. Is Doug Benson going to be there? Promote the shit out of it, Sam Tripoli. and this girl with the great name affixia noir is her name alexis texas is one of those girls who Go fuck out of here.

2:21:19 Guys like meat on the bone. The idea of supermodels, the reason why they're really tall and thin is so clothes look good on them. Now they're all just so – they look like heroin addicts. Sam, I'm trying to drag you up to the 21st century. No, I know. doing it. First time doing that bit. in volume i'm always throwing stuff against the wall and sometimes i only find it funny so if you

2:23:51 up i mean you could just walk out and crush but i feel like my job is to get them really rocking so When you're up there for 20 minutes, for half an hour, I mean, I wouldn't want you to flatline, Sometimes shit goes wrong. gonna have a good set no i totally understand that and that's the i think that's the sort of Who you are? what I am. theater shows,

2:25:31 Yeah. What does that even mean? I'm going to name my new album now. I've never had nicer crowds. You said she was. Fucking bit about bees it includes like People will tell you, you know, bees really are important, man. dude does she really think that person got shot and killed or the director really wants that I say Sarah Palin is just a misinformed dummy.

2:27:49 and you could probably Meow's five. on me. That happens a lot. Oh, she was that drunk. I love that, though. What? Here's that girl. She's probably going to sue you now, though. Didn't she say that? Yeah, just a big fat tat over big fat tits what was the tattoo of it was To be tried on some sort of a sexual assault trial. And now the latest is that a condom given to Swedish police

2:31:16 It's a smear campaign. Well, he needs to bring the wood. Not my podcast. And the beginning of it, I got the audio of it. accidentally and then emptied his trash and then freaked out that he couldn't get it back he even He's a really good dude. Yeah, that's a good fight. He has shorter arms, though, right? Jeremy Lin? He does not have short arms. Okay, now I'm going for three for three.

2:34:16 He doesn't have super long arms. I bring the wood. Yes. we've got clear photographic evidence that shows your shitty theory is no good, and you're rejecting it. Sam, this is a shit observation. short arms let's say do you mean how good would y would Yao Ming be if his arms were longer? Yes! Let me see my point. Yes. man. They don't want the China man to take over.

2:37:15 Okay no no no this is just a forum You can really say those are short? Like a lot of these NBA players now, I think probably a little both. It's huge. Because, yeah, the Well he's a And that's what Gomi does. His height, long arms. I think that's a point. I don't care. When it gets to a certain point when dudes are like 10 feet tall, How old was the tallest man in the world?

2:41:11 yeah so he could run normal because before it was like these guys with these very long legs I want them to call it the monster weight division. But isn't there this whole fear that people wouldn't try to make weight as much like you'd see guys who probably could fight at the heavyweight you could fight at whatever weight class you want. as long as you weigh in more than two 65,

2:42:52 getting too big. and we want to wish him luck. who is a vegan athlete. Follow Sam Tripoli on Twitter, And it's what we do, folks. I was very impressed. We don't know. Damn, I'm bringing the wood. That's how awesome this picture is. You get the highest end cell phones available, especially the Droid's. Go to Ting.com. The 5-HTP and L-Tryptophan supplement, New Mood,

2:46:27 Shout out to street cred. What is Shop Squad? Desk Squad.tv. Dirty bitches. Oh, Brian, you silly, silly bitch. Let's ride it right into the beach, you fucks.