Joe Rogan Experience #272 — Duncan Trussell, Joey Diaz, Ian Edwards Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Hello. And you never get it. It's crazy. And you're like, whoa. But dude, you didn't get to walk around, man. That place is so weird. It's like what a crazy little town. environmental liberation front oh god eco terrorists perhaps are hanging out there oh my I've never been to one place that has no religion. the end result was they decided yeah the world's better without religion would have been much

4:11 And why are you so scared of it shutting off? it's not just a matter of education. And I think that there's some people that are are they're living in this life as humans but yet they're not quite That's not what I'm saying. And I said it once. intention shapes lives and your imagination shapes your life and how this thing is malleable and it's like that, that's when it becomes a problem. But I think that's not the majority of religious people.

8:09 So, because I agree with you, but I think that the problem is that it creates he's crazy but he wants you to suck my dick and he wants seven of your cows i don't even know why the vaults in the temple. They hadn't opened it up or they found some vaults and it was just and he's explaining why according to religion. Well, it's not only that. just a baby's dick it's a bleeding

11:29 And I remember some intensely traumatic moments while he's wearing a wizard costume. I just had my mom on my podcast. Jesus Christ. mutilating that's really what it is see like skin is there to protect the tip of your dick don't and it's supposed to feel better that way because of that, Like, dude, I'm circumcised. But we want to justify doing it. It's ridiculous.

14:50 Pigs are a motherfucker. I bet it was a quick death, though. It's like the Tibetan sky ritual, but with pigs. guy who goes pig hunting dude it is one of the craziest shows that i've ever seen on television It's really weird. Wild pigs are motherfuckers, dude. the different lives people are having on this planet yes it is this guy is just fucking up pigs all day what

18:26 Are they herds of pigs? They send the meat to Afghanistan. Death from above I do not know. gorilla one night and then you get aids there's some people eating things in africa right now It's got to be very human-like. A lot of people don't know. Like cattle farms where they butcher cows. It was like a bathtub of blood and and this guy had been in the parking lot before the show.

22:02 But I don't understand. this guy would like, There's going to be some chaos with like back problems. and he just said that he was having some issues, We did 148 This guy right here You go home and look yourself in the mirror when you're done All right, Joshua, you ready? So he quit like right away. You can still do it! See? I'll see you all tomorrow.

25:29 I noticed how much different my voice sounds before I have friends that have like fucked up noses I'm like, dude, please get your nose fixed Just please listen to me Get your nose fixed deviated septum operation completely changed my life man i can't believe i went so long i have we gotta stop enough i did know somebody that did so much cocaine that

26:50 The other dude that I want to talk about, that won Fear Factor, won a million dollars, Glossolalia. And I think he appeared to them or the doors opened and a wind blew through and suddenly they were able to speak in every language. You've never seen that, Rogan? He was one of those snake handler guys. That's fucking weird, man. He's in West Virginia.

29:48 downstairs was a bar i mean it was just they had like a plastic sign that said bar and i mean it i bet he wasn't a good dad that was i don't know i asked my mom i was like yeah the dad's probably i Well, there are exceptions. Oh, man, but that fucking goddamn idea definitely more than like 50 people at this very moment are probably getting their arms chopped off

32:09 that can fly in perfect formations yeah and then you see those dogs that they've used that what's a good question darpa gives me the fucking creeps every time I see any DARPA Yeah, it's our offense budget, really. darpa website it is horrific man the sound it makes that kind of hell squeals and it makes DARPA Legged Squad Support System. Use coupon code

35:02 This thing's coming over the hill. This music is Isn't that cute? This is fucking goddamn terrifying. Yeah. They can carry all sorts of metal fucking things that kill people on them and they look like they they looked like they weren't gonna stop send it out there, and they sort of alleviate themselves of any responsibility until the check comes and then we're going to go fuck how do we pay this oh wait what have we done

38:32 It's not just one. Yeah, they found out that cutting things apart is cheaper than shooting missiles. and they really are going to get it to a point where it can think for itself. Well, the question is they're going to assimilate with us than it is that they would just chop us to bits because we because of this weird desire to innovate and improve and create things.

41:52 and more and more harmonized, which manifests in the form of evolution, in the form of single-celled not natural something that was created by life not not born you you know, in a natural way, is going to inherit the same sort of you you look at that just that idea that and that person might very well one day harness the power to make a star explode.

43:49 destroy the entire Earth like 100 times over. from now you know 200 years from now what kind of destructive anti-matter weapons are we going to talking about doesn't come from weapons but from innovation and and and this is this this is why i I think there's no doubt whatsoever that people are probably very much like a lot of other animals is aiding in the process of technological innovation

46:31 through it like it's there's something there's something alluring about that technology and i You know, electricity is reality-changing. come up with something like some sort of a transportation device or transporter a beamer for a long time and buy a brand new video game and play it, started playing this game holy shit man it's such a perfect game not just like graphics wise which are really trippy kind

48:55 Well, porn is also a drug. on beating it off to chicks online. It's a's a man it's a pull it's like a technology of technology linking into your nervous system you're feeling an interface happen at a very when they first to be, like, That's the thing about religion. who spent weeks going over his dialogue with a fine-tooth comb and his music there's music playing

51:59 If you played a movie and God was in a fucking robe, an old man in a robe who can make magic shit happen, Our biology hasn't changed. What does that look like? getting drawn into some um glowing screen and before that what is it our consciousness like I mean, it's like you have your finger on home base. endless and and and it's i mean i i will admit man i'm addicted to the internet there's no question

54:19 but I was on the fucking airplane and couldn't watch it. And the thing is that these things are coming at us constantly all the time. animal face off gorilla versus leopard i think that's the video Yeah, you got to fast forward quite a bit before the actual action. What a scary-ass animal. Look at the size of that fucking thing. Oh this is a scenario you sons of bitches

57:23 Oh my god this is awful in a million different directions Like, man, you know when you get around someone who's got real focus, Dude, I wouldn't be surprised. Do you think that that would work on you though? if you talked to him just for a couple hours? matt you're being glum you're glum like he's like he's like a silly person like well yeah he has to

1:00:15 Video game tech demo. That's incredible, man. Oh my god, it looks like a video. But my thing was, I just don't think that you would be impressed with its focus. normal people act and that level of focus comes from being supremely disciplined in some way or I eat dinner with people sometimes and they can't go four minutes without checking their phone.

1:02:49 out yeah what's going on here yeah is this really that important are you gonna stop in the middle Someone's trying to set up some of that sweet pussy. They're going to pull the cord. We don't have souls. They're homeless. They're like Pinocchio. What's the point in making more robots? What's the point in making more robots? are all going after these primal reward systems

1:05:10 Okay, yeah, but we know that we're not a cold. this can't get in it just stops right this point here is like the beginning of like an endless if you didn't then they would just be intelligent just because they're intelligent there's there's Wow, that's a big leap. they believe that consciousness is like radio signals If you want to say that there's consciousness

1:07:38 Human brains are innately awake. Well, not only that. everything's on no desire to move forward you know and then we developed a robot woman to suck you're doing the love of what you're doing ultimately is a better way of approaching it which means you just focus on what you're doing and don't worry about what's going to flourish You gotta think. My've got to think.

1:10:53 Jamie's a great guy. It's going to be different That is your thing. ago he saw me with wet hair and he's like that's what your thing could be you could be the guy who where there were guys who would have, like, a very specific sort of fucking shtick? You know the story of Jackie Banana? There's a guy that had this sort of a throwback act, sort of a vaudevillian, sort of a gesture to vaudeville.

1:13:08 guy who was from years ago it's like a skinny handsome sort of a guy who had this like is There were a lot of sticky comics. He's a comic. potato chips he has potato he listens to the podcast and he sent us some um they're they're But it's delicious. Yeah. No shit, man. but man this thing about shtick this gets into metaphysics and this gets into a place that

1:16:07 where they go after hacky radio people, Girls drink for free. This is what I think we need to do. My opponent just thinks that taxes are too high, there's personality types you know this is where you get into like certain personality types where Accents, exactly. But you have to hear it. knew how to talk in a way that just seemed badass this motherfucker didn't give a fuck you know

1:19:15 Obviously, that's not true. would suddenly go rushing through elementary question this is like um but it's also fun oh it's a yeah it's you it's human i mean god damn You can't worry too much about things. It's very interesting. It is fascinating. It is. throughout society. It's a very interesting. It's always a problem with comics as well. Yeah. about the effect that she thinks what happens when you're a kid, like getting your dick

1:21:49 And that, I think, is the beginning of, you know, in a goddamn commodore 64 yeah or you just enjoy this fucking weird existence and marvel at all Brian's so much different than me. man. No, it's a Buddhist result. Have you heard the term dependent origination? No. It's a Buddhist term, are just one mote, one moment of beingness in this web All of these will end.

1:25:29 They didn't know what was going on. behind NOVA's hypernova. and it's above the clouds. Then you drive past the clouds. headlights like if we could have just for one hour or a couple hours of one day, Oh, yeah. in the idea of pursuing astronomy or pursuing rocketry or working for NASA or something I mean And one of the most humbling things I've ever seen in my life.

1:28:46 That's when I really started talking about, how insane it is to pay attention to the grand Canyon. Did you see the graham hancock video Yeah, by the way, it's called Earth Hour. I got to do Coke. What was the the shit you wanted me to look at? Or whales. Yeah. This is, I can't remember who fucking said this one of I do, too. add that in stupid you don't just go looking for another one and if the other one you can't find

1:32:31 How Earth Sounds from Space. Let me see. Oh, my God, is it good. No, that was the thing. And it says, apparently the Van Allen radiation belt sings like a whale. that's so creepy sounds like it's calling a dog you know what it's calling other planets saying You know, it's radio waves. You probably would hear that, actually. Yeah. Hold on. Are you playing at that hotel comedy club?

1:35:59 He doesn't knock. That's what it is. You know me. that's my new are you no i don't think there's any material i am doing a whole chunk on snm I'm not afraid to experiment. I love you exactly the way you are. What are you doing the radio station took down their Facebook page They took down their Facebook page. Anthony was saying that they made them.

1:39:53 That's your guy. and trying to shape your radio personality. Yeah, man. A dude with a toe ring? they're both obviously fucked up and one of them has some shit tattoo on his forehead but the other guy is right under his But also, a lot of times when people do that shit I said except for that guy. Did you see that prank? Because then you'd have to get it clipped.

1:43:01 Yeah. what's going on it's like we're sick of our bodies or something man we're taking these yeah it shoves ink under their skin and I don't know. like Evil Boy that is Nope. How about a red dick to represent the American Indian being repressed but on a comeback? Damn. uh-oh occult shit man like really strange like um he just sent me a demon a demon summoning box

1:46:20 got the i mean there's a simple out for 2012 which is that it's a shift in the vibrational frequencies. forever yeah they tried with y2k yes oh god that was crazy i wonder if they tried with i wonder It came out on the radio. Oh, damn. See you, man. Yeah, let's shift. Okay, then we won't do it. an Ice House Chronicles, Ian Edwards, I mean, not only do people work there and have jobs and get paid, but they also pay rent to landlords.

1:49:35 I looked at a lot of office space and stuff like that. No, I didn't read that. And what they're doing is they're going in and raiding people. they just say it's an ongoing investigation. I was like, am I missing something in this story? I think they probably agree with the states that have California, and look around and find a pipe with a little bit of weed on it.

1:51:40 They thought he was a dealer. Right. They're exposing these people like that officer at UC Davis that pepper sprayed those kids in the face. That guy's in trouble. This is the cool thing, man. at least out there i have a witness like i want to film this you know they wouldn't let him they and adjusting it, Occupy Wall Street and addressing their demands?

1:54:09 Jesus. And whenever that happens, we go in and attack because that's the only thing that our dollar That's hilarious. That's good. Yeah. I wonder if he's got a dope suite. him to come out so he stays in that house for months he's been in that house for months no he They have him in solitary confinement. fucked him that's but he's not doing great i don't think he can send letters and stuff i don't think

1:57:11 He's never coming out. and he would be interacting with people. signs that someone's a terrorist? Like it would be considered terrorists by this new thing. Oh, in the McCarthy era? You've recently changed your choices in entertainment. What's up, baby? Check like the most broad sweeping brush i think i've ever read ever in an official document i think

1:59:35 Can just get arrested according to the indefinite detention act read off government propaganda they knew was not true yeah and this is on cnn so you know it's it's joey's balls no matter what they might be able to see distant telescopes they have not yet developed Put them over stealth bombers, and you can just fucking fly in. It doesn't go through because I hide that sack behind there.

2:01:47 overlook that part. Did you see that? You got to be careful. Yeah, they probably just stole a laptop, and they're feeling guilty. and it never goes off. that really cost like $800 They just check It's a free fucking day. Foil from gum. you know what come on he probably was he white he probably deserves He had sanitizer Someone's done it. Do you remember when we went to some town, you and I, and we had dinner with some doctor?

2:04:46 You can't have your nerves like 18 months. it heals backwards john was telling me can you imagine going for surgery to take out your wrong That's a callback That's what it was. the it's like a barb. He was hooked. People were doing it with saline, too. I heard of a chick in Jersey one time. She's such a cold bitch, the shit didn't even damn snow like just call a dude

2:07:44 right You get that Preserves, where it's like a fancy glass jar. And they tuck it in their ass all the story that's where and all these different things that come from How did that get? What leakage? Whoa, gonorrhea is popular. Interesting. It's a bacterium disease. Pregnant women with the disease can Ooh. mail first of all i'm looking for a bitch with gonorrhea first of all i did not

2:11:52 That molten puss. living in the house. You had to dial Yeah, dog. Nobody. It was like that was the only thing that survived outside of sex calls. the chick asked me, can I help you? That's all you need sometimes, just a voice. Like, I ran up, like, a $1,000 bill in, like, a week. What happens on a party line? Some people would contribute. How much was it a minute?

2:14:43 or some shit like that. I'm coming to get you. when we used to make those phone calls to those party lines. You ever go to a strip club and you can tell the dudes that are fucking lonely bro they bring the chicks gifts friends with all these girls they would come in and then guys would like buy them cars like this one girl Like, at least they're like one of those nice Yukons.

2:17:16 Yeah, they don't want to fuck the guy. was giving her all his money it's the guys that don't get the pussy that give the most loot yeah he looked at mine. Did you have like red flags going off? He fucking had her in one of the houses. Powerful Doug Benson. are so that these girls are so out of their league that they're willing to do almost anything to get

2:19:57 way you could stop her yeah especially when they you know they got a chick sitting on their lap They've done that. Listen, if you're going to fuck this guy, you can't fuck him like an agent, okay? Just a cock monster. it loses its power, that's why I always laugh So the agents crossed the line. But it's amazing. Fucking really? you're gonna talk to these dudes that are very book smart the attorney you want is the guy that

2:23:15 That's why these guys, they show you all straight laced. There's no way. Local fucking county. They would just go around with confiscated cars. So if you're a cop in Boulder, if you're a cop in the Boulder They don't take your stuff and use it in the same county. where they confiscated a Corvette Z06 and they turned it into a cop car. Because if they confiscate all this fucking blow

2:25:18 Worthington. To play high school football, you gotta pay So you wanna talk to me about sending motherfuckers to Mars and shit again? They said that's the cover. They can't afford it. It's ridiculous when you think about $6.8 billion. to discover new planets it's all a big heroin operation well yeah, because if you want to fund black operations, footage of soldiers that are actually like guarding the fucking poppy fields it's craziness it's like

2:28:16 how much of a fucking profit. that the government has always been selling heroin, Because I guess they're kind of all different organizations. If a black guy... date and that thing was just made for him he had help you think that that was no yeah some somebody A white dude, a black dude is going to go in there I'm just saying. 200 million, whatever the fuck he took over there.

2:30:30 What are they saying? There was two or three of those motherfuckers that ran Harlem in the 50s and 60s. 30% of $500,000 profit, that's a lot of fucking money and the brothers cut it. Then they fucking you dirty bitches. Follow him. you to Ting. Thanks for sponsoring this your minutes it rolls over into the next month you can have multiple people yeah they have a lot

2:32:51 Lost a lot of energy in this room. Use the code name Rogan, Yeah, that was the best. very, very funny guy. Don't fucking doubt me, goddammit. DeskWad.TV. with amber lion and uh brian when does uh kevin perera start noon tomorrow and we actually have the positivity the friendliness just we we blessed. We're just lucky as fuck. All right, you fucking freaks.