Joe Rogan Experience #290 — John McAfee Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out. falling asleep while i was on the beginning stages of zma and that stuff hits you hard like i couldn't I was saying double. we didn't know that uh he was allergic to eating roaches. but I don't know about this roach eating guy who died. Just tons of mice and rats. Edward Archibald choked to death on his own vomit It all has legs, and half of it's moving.

3:02 It's craziness. It really is like Running Man. And it was real. They know where the coyotes are. are killing all the rats. of rats interacting with people what if they put give them little outfits that shows that they work he's my little pal. He'd rather have fucking Yeah, but people would want to feed them. Yeah, but that's why you just have to make it,

6:05 I don't think that... Put knives in touch them. I don't think that... Yeah, coyotes are dangerous. Just small enough to be manageable You're right. Coyotes got mail. It's almost like you have to bait the rats. gonna be around people that's creepy and it only takes a couple months till we start fucking those seen that fish where um there's a parasite that lives inside of its mouth and eats its tongue

8:53 Nature, you so scary. that has been seen a lot in Alaska lately. Takes a spot. hey how's it going big guy i don't know if i can call him back let me see if i can kiss it That number's busy. Try it now. Yeah. It's Joe Rogan. Well, you're very welcome, sir. Go ahead. Well, the blog is official McAfee. So that is a very rare situation where a guy's on the lam,

13:35 It seemed like you were, you know, that's how they portrayed it. Well, I would have to be like right next to you and looking you in the eyes to answer that honestly I know it for a fact, sir. There was no dispute between you and this gentleman? Quite frankly, I didn't like them barking at night either. Any dog lover, In the last day of April of this year, I woke up at 6 in the morning to 42 armed soldiers

16:45 like a chef so it was my mistake but it was not a pleasant day from that moment Was that the idea? And the, now, the other reason why they would suspect that there was some crazy drugs involved It's the largest drug forum in the world. I would go to Bayer Laboratories in Germany with a formula and a sample and demand a check for a billion dollars. So a marital aid, a marital aid that enhance sex.

19:58 and the crazy stories on airwid.org, if you go and read the airwid uh trip reports of press doing what it does best. Let's Of course not. No, I'm listening. You know, you want to jerk off to your dick bleeds of the Village Voice called me to I said, oh, I'm running a bunch of observational yoga studios in Belize. And I went on to say that it works for everything

22:26 Check it out on the web. where people were like, because you need ethanol, not alcohol, but ethanol in order to extract what we were looking Just to play devil's advocate, And you were trying to have a good time and you were cooking up some stuff and I wouldn't advocate why people would think it is the idea of lots of cash that turns some women on.

25:07 I don't know if anybody's been following the blog. She's got balls? So she's tough. I respect women tremendously. I'm in deep shit. Okay, Brian does. How are you doing? Yeah. Do you enjoy his company? Excellent. Oh, please. Sam was like in bed. And I responded, awesome country, live on the beach, Before this, though, you were living this magical life of retirement fantasies,

28:58 You can't do that in Florida, New York, anywhere on the Pacific. Really? There was like some acrobatic sort of contest you guys were doing with planes. but they look like motorcycles with wings. There's a lawsuit from that. and you become a target for shysters, right? Yeah, it is a crazy world. you are obligated to pay your dues. and buy two pairs of boots.

32:35 sent someone in gonna make my life better they were going to give me all sorts of Just piss them off. of, you know, Keep in mind, Belize was founded by pirates and is still controlled by pirates. No, of course not. so it's not that you're in Belize accidents happen They just wear you down until you pay. die in motorcycle accidents every year I guarantee you would.

35:45 Do you have official charges against you? no law here. Even though it's on the books, there is no real law. The law is ruled by I don't care how many nasty people show up at the top of the government. You don't have a lot to risk. No, I'm not, but I'll tell you one thing. minister that everybody everybody is listed there there demanded these people get released this is injustice at the highest order

38:34 are no joke The corruption that you're talking about sounds so overwhelming. Well, I can certainly tell you this. Listening to your story has made me not want to go on going to come after you. I am indeed. I'm going to bad music in front of your house forever. I'm sorry, sir? and go back to living your wonderful life in your home? How's it going to get you back?

41:28 and maybe come back to America where our system of law is a little bit more obvious. And she's threatened now to slash my throat in the middle of the night if I even suggest it again. I did not in any way mean to imply that she would actually do it. It's great that you have such a loyal companion in this terrible time of crisis. fucking clue what life is like without it.

43:46 So the idea is not to hole up until you get this resolved. What did you do? fascinating story. Oh, for four hours. Oh, Jesus Christ. What a pussy. They don't take it personally. Oh, yeah, Josh Davis. which is interesting, But let's be honest. People would want to hear that. Listen, I'm writing a story about you while you're writing a story about me.

47:43 because I think it turns eyes on it. Through that, you can get your story and your information and what's really important for you to reveal I'm sorry. and you thought that by having him and having him into everything. I'm not a stupid person. I think that's one of the most beautiful things thing about our time, and this I've actually been telling them to fuck off.

50:51 whatever. Have I ever stolen this child? I'm going out of the trash again coming out of the telephone. or whether it's your Twitter, you, Official McAfee Twitter, you were able to tell your side of things in a way that we've never seen before. I mean, if you can remember that far back, I don't think that's correct. No, no worries, man. or just get in the boat and bob around for a while.

53:48 Okay, so, I mean, But I mean to imply that you're living, like, and suddenly I was the devil incarnate. enjoying themselves and being happy Yeah, what is it about other people's success that for some reason with weak-minded people Of course I could go to the embassy. I mean, I would think that a guy with your kind of wealth would be at least be able to arrange for some sort of legal meeting with someone in the United States to help you get back.

56:37 Just sort things out? So, do they have other suspects? he attempted to wrestle a weapon away from one of the 10 officers in there with him. Christ's sakes. So obviously they're going to be corrupt, not corrupt to the point that You'll love it. You could run it. Mr. McAfee? But keep in mind, my humor may be stretched a little thin It was very good talking to you. I really

59:40 OfficialMacafee. And McAfee, Sorry about that. holla what's what was that like brian um that was interesting fascinating right yeah i think They shoot you in the van. You know? I don't believe that the girl did it, though. they have a ballistics on the bullet. can we see the bullet what did you do like let's see the physical evidence is there one hair of his

1:02:32 fuck it, I'm going to poison his dogs. If you read the stuff online, folks, I think he said it's bluelight.com. I bet he could. If he was a troll, it's a brilliant way to start up maybe just a blog, and fucking his 17-year-old girlfriend. The one who wanted to cut him in his sleep. And if you're really rich I don't think that's what he's saying, though.

1:05:45 wish it wasn't though it's much more fun to think that it's just some nutty true story Yeah, but shirtless with a shotgun. Like what, I have a dock in front of my house? No, you can definitely get some kind of cable internet solution. Right. If everyone was doing that, no one would have any. to deal with it. They don't. It should be that everyone with a fucking cell phone could use it at an end time all day long every fucking cell phone could be

1:09:24 him on creative satellite phones. You know, She just has balls in her personality. they can arrest you for life you don't want to live in that country because like if you do one That's how they got to be where they are. They're asking for two million bucks? If you had to do that with this, if you had to pause this right now and say, what happens next?

1:11:44 Well, I mean, it's just getting sloppy for him, I think. I don't even know how big belize is yeah like it could be like the whole the whole the whole you know people looking for Really? You think it's a conspiracy? because uh i i've never heard of it before this um this situation because i i'd never I take, they, I found that i've been I don't recommend it that much.

1:15:12 See, this thing about McAfee, cathinones a natural source of which is the east african plant cat you know what k-h-a-t is I've been through that. And he couldn't move because they would shoot him. paranoia and this this statement that he gave explaining that these cops were out there and Sexy as fuck. But he was saying that you can't do it and not get addicted to it.

1:18:55 We have cared for multiple patients who have abused MDPV, Wow. I got to get in a boat How far away is that shit? it's all just white people. Is Belize connected No. enthusiastic amateur pharmacologist with a long-standing interest in drugs that induce But you have to have evidence to say some creepy shit like that, don't you? but a big percentage of them

1:22:39 They love botany. I think it's in Australia. Wow. No, that's not it. It was really recent. Exactly. Look at the size of it though it's amazing holy shit and it grows like a dick it sprouts and the the the dick pops out and the flowers underneath it i mean it is 2.2, yeah, I think a meter's three feet. I don't know if you... You don't know shit. 10 times faster than instant on uh rendering audio that i'm doing on and they're supposed to

1:25:58 the real answer to this guy I might be wrong. guilty or not guilty and they get all nancy grace on things and you know and sometimes they're fucking wrong right like nancy grace was with the duke lacrosse case you know those guys were Who knows what he's doing? about all the people he talked to, then the guy's a liar and everything he says has to be

1:28:18 if he was high on some kind of fucking drug or whatever, Yeah. he would hang out with thugs. he kind of looks like, what this airplane thing is Yeah. yeah I wouldn't do it There must be part of him that's enjoying a little bit of this notoriety he's experiencing here. too. The whole thing is, I mean, topless with guns yeah he's quite a character though man i would have loved to have hung out

1:32:12 and not even know people there. But to have a conversation where you broadcast it, all of a sudden it's fairly easy And by all accounts, it's a pretty badass book. Oh, geez. time warner or the other one i don't know my my business manager saying that they're having a hard Well, how should... less than one less than one yeah that's whack weak ass bitches you gotta fix it

1:35:46 but like a T3 line where my office is no cable Yeah, it seems like it. That's a cell phone. was the one thing i had told you i was like before you get it make sure they have fast That should be a fucking blast. Did you put that on the tour? mail anymore voicemails i don't like listening to voicemails now like if i have a voicemail my It's one of the nicest things to have like a little break a little reset

1:38:52 Or somebody would send me a stupid text at 6 in the morning. like does it get brighter um i think it depends on you see i have all text messages turned off And then they're like, Well, I'm starting to like, I don't want, like I'm turning into Joey Diaz. Like I'm about to. Are you getting that way at all? Like, I'm starting, like, I don't want, like, I'm turning into Joey Diaz.

1:40:07 Hey, what's up? Hey, what's going on? What are you doing? you doing you want to do this you want to do that what's the plan and constantly can you call me i got this going on and after a while it's paragraph after paragraph and you have to like respond to it you There's got to be a way out of this, Brian. water through my toes with my 17 year old hottie yeah while on bath salts allegedly according to

1:42:00 they wouldn't have shot that guy 14 times in a van. Although it doesn't matter because that's not what he was doing, right? They had been flying in clean, smooth air with plenty of altitude mcafee told me when suddenly Yeah. something. It's pretty crazy how fast those things go. And you clip the ground and you just go for to video games anymore your ps3 and this is the star wars xbox but and you just try you travel with it the sound is loud

1:44:59 you should have the most accurate input devices. Once you play with a mouse and a keyboard... the fuck it's a video of you playing with it so um how many games did you play on this i've only stuff like that. Why? Yeah. Are they actually for sale, though? It's a bunch of songs I wrote about a long time ago about Jesus and Mary and Noah. noah is this the sex line no no don't don't forget

1:48:30 Oh, right, right. a tripod with a magnet on it so you can rotate it all around which is it's also a case but it's just Holy shit. What is it called? We need to use that shit. We should start doing that. I forgot that we're in Austin. Fuck yeah. but the problem with that is then you don't get it fresh. No, you don't know what you're doing. hours instead of two minutes for putting a lean pocket in the microwave you were like all right

1:51:40 I think we've done that with every 100, right? Yeah, it's crazy. dude it's gonna be the end of the world end of the Mayan calendar You ever watch that? One guy, he shot his thumb. And like, we don't even drink alcohol, but we're going to need it for bartering and then you light the rag and throw it, huge safes filled with machine guns. supplies so they can be better prepared like they have a budget of every month where they'll buy

1:54:37 You had to fucking go out and scrounge for food. Very tough to scrounge out If an asteroid hits, you really want it to hit you. Like, it through that like what's the end game in that sort of scenario if an asteroid that are torrenting the shit, Some people send out messages, You know that mega upload scenario. and chilling in Brazil and flying in his private jet to this place and he's got this ridiculous

1:57:48 in organizing their evidence against him. So it's really going to be interesting there's data on his site that shows that when it's the more that's out there the better because then people will hear about you and they'll be Like you have a, I could see it being like, Do it through that. Charge me $50. I hope he made money off that. was amazing in it.

2:01:42 Yeah. Yeah. That's a rare specimen. I keep hearing that too oh that's the other thing it's not what I thought I think so. I don't think Claire Danes is a Titanic girl. She's good, man. that uh but he uh Yeah. December 12th is still a couple weeks away, folks. There's been a few other people that said that they want to come, but I haven't really. I'm going to reschedule it this week.

2:04:37 Yeah. And that should be pretty crazy. It might not be real. this world's not real well if you think of it as if it is a simulation theory and then you start of babysitting us in the simulation so if you if you talk about the simulation too much you'll you'll Like, Asian people could get pissed off at that. Right. You might have this in the isolation tank, but maybe.

2:07:45 This was actually watching somebody talk, I was hallucinating. And it was like, you don't think, Is that possible? you have to figure out like what real is and what's not real. one of the more attractive parts of the simulation theory thing I think the world that we live in of almost are like extras in a world, you have a little bit of control we're just only able to perceive the shit that we consider to be our world we're told deja vu is

2:11:20 branches you off into a completely separate area of the universe. And it creates an entirely new universe with new possibilities and new probabilities. And that not only is that possibility a reality, but that all the other possibilities are alternate We know that when you get in the car that we don't measure and so we It actually shapes your possibilities.

2:13:32 to shape it their realities I think we don't exist. What the fuck kind of hippie bullshit is this, folks? And that will also be around the same time, which is 12-ish p.m. Pacific time, you fucking freaks. We're gonna work it out, folks. American Comedy Co. in San Diego. We never anticipated any of this happening, and we're enjoying every step of the way.