Joe Rogan Experience #292 — Eddie Bravo Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Alright, that's it. This weekend, this Friday night, Brian motherfucking Red Band, Duncan motherfucking Trussell, and I will be at the Moody Theater in Austin, Texas. All day. You don't hear that? You know, they, they like have a tube in their mouth and they sing through it. You're a musician and you don't know what that thing is? He could be the best.

2:22 Yeah, it's got to be a complement to some dope southern guitar you know then i could see a little harmonica moving in you know Dude, I'm telling you, it's a fucking badass band. I don't want to be on the spot I love Eddie Bravo to death I have totally different tastes Beggar's Guild. That's not great. By that time, there's only like one metal chick per strip club, and she'd play some

4:43 But when this old dude ran a light and hit us, This is them. So I sleep all day I like this. Woof, what a song, man. You're into cool electronic type music. You know what Is a great song Misty Mountain High Really? I didn't have enough money to be into more than one band at a time. to get into other bands to tell you the truth for a while from the age of 8 to 13 it was

8:29 It's the stupidest shit ever. They did a You know what I mean? You know what I mean? It was Kiss ice cream, Kiss bubble gum, Kiss pencils. fuck this band that we were you know we were already dissing and we didn't even see him but I dragged my aunts. I'm like, rock and roll all night. i didn't know what a live record was I didn't understand destroyed

11:21 already When they were on the cover of Double Platinum. loves us live but we can't sell any records let's do a live record and they said okay let's try it And their live shows were like, yeah. It's brilliant. He had stories ready to go. He still does it? by the stair railing oh god jesus christ that's a crazy ass show man yeah so that movie you know

14:18 die i don't know he died like in the 70s i never was a doors fan the girls who are still into like morrison like that late them man people get angry i had to pretend it got so bad i had to pretend for a while Like, what do you say when someone just shits on you? They kicked out the guitar player. I left that part out. I think that's what's in. come on like late 70s these dudes done that no one else has done that in music no one else has done

17:37 Too many people who put that shit on YouTube. Did they really? shape. He's always been a workout health freak. every night he's on fire dude he can't they won't stop touring man they're 68 years old I still don't think they feel like they get their like just rewards. That's how taboo they were. just not allowing them. That's so weird. today where people get

20:12 You could – those guys could become famous just by virtue of their product and it's spreading virally. You know, they would not, They went a little disco so Kiss oh now like the careers That's what you do. right song for the right moment and you're like, God damn, this feels good. And that's generally It's hard to explain. people driving from Costa Mesa just to train.

23:10 For me it's like You can overplay that shit forever. electrodes on your head to awesome music some like really bad christian rock or something something something just terrible did you read and see the difference in how the brain works when you're freestyling Well, the idea that you have to be creative, You know what I mean? In battle rap Joe, when you said 190%, were you counting ghost faces also?

26:29 an investor, this me and Kevin are going to invest in this game and try to actually have And then you also have a cum meter. and then Jesus fucking more that dolphin And then Jesus is all fucked up. Yeah. I'm going to be real with you. That's so hilarious. He's Android Jesus. The dolphins are fucking people. Look. The second one was – was that the one where the dude has a –

29:53 She was like I liked him in the first one Like, why would they have the same model come back nice when they can't make a different model? I heard Argo's very good. But, and I thought they were going to do the same thing with Argo, make the Iranians look And it's the truth. Cabin in the Woods. You liked it. You know, like what? It was like intentionally campy.

32:02 that's how you get like an avatar. I have a friend who's a It's a ridiculously hard proposition. behind the scenes, behind the music, and the Guns N' Roses and how much coke they're huge I don't know. And especially for certain dudes in the background, like drummers and shit, who are just not getting that much attention. Tommy Lee and that's it. But like household names.

35:08 The celebrity drummer. The guy's a rock star and he has a giant dick. Shit. yeah he's a good dude yeah he seems like a nice guy like i think that uh like uh someone who gets It was a trip to see so much. And he does that whole cas magna system too, which is in a sauna system, which is the Filipino system. Fuck Ricky Rocket. Like, you know, I mean, these guys are all tough and everything,

38:00 are you how how often are you practicing this kick? How many days a week? How long? And just kick your legs until you're done. And they believe it. And it just snaps, bro. You make the real good pseudo-intelligence stoner, boys. Joey Diaz talking about that all he needs is a kick in the knee. Come at me with that fucking karate shit. Back of lunch.

40:08 It's just funny he would actually say. provide you with entertainment constantly yeah brian callan when we went hunting together It's all about fucking guys, holding guys down, fucking guys. It was the most I've ever laughed while freezing my dick off sleeping outdoors. God wanted Get the fuck out of here. fucking stupid as a society that Corn is the motherfucker, man.

43:13 And there's a lot of good uses for corn. you're only supposed to get sugar when it's attached to food you know the real the idea of Why is it only grown in Colombia? So I don't know. things. It means either someone had made it all the way to South America and brought back He's like, no, no, it's not mine. You say, look, I'm just going to do this Coke this one time.

46:01 They would forget what they were doing. Let's do it. I bet they would if they were like – How much pussy do you think Giorgio is getting? But I would say that He said, You cannot be upset when someone points out mistakes. It's important to get shit accurate. That's where everybody wants to take one camp or another. I mean, they don't even look like they're remotely the same species.

48:40 Yeah. those things octavox or whatever the fuck it's called this crazy thing looks like an american and slippery subject so then when you start talking about the origin of people well we on a history channel so when i saw when i first saw ancient aliens i already knew all that shit The guys at NBC, they don't know jujitsu that well, but they want to do a jujitsu documentary.

51:28 He's not even a real brown belt. You're going to tell me that, you know, If you look at the – there's a bunch of different things that happen to people, and one of them that's the most confusing to scientists is the doubling of the human brain size over a period of two million years. There's a lot of like weird – but the bottom line is it's a fucking crazy mystery. And if some alien race from another galaxy was unbelievably brilliant and many, many, many, many, many, many generations ahead of us in the future to the point where they realized that in order to preserve intelligent life, you have to seed it.

53:37 have to realize that if we have done that and we have existed in this in this planet for 4.6 billion years. who knows if it's out there really or not who knows but the the way the people the way people have depictions of shit yeah who knows if it happened or not but uh to read that reaction like it's so crazy like it's There's a video out right now. You know how you

55:48 This guy's a – YouTube Mayan Explains December 21, 2012. popular it is. It might be nothing And if 2012, December 23rd rolls around to give you a 24-hour grace period, nothing happened? Yeah. Are you actually going to hear it? There's a great experiment It's called the proton-proton. it's a cool story oh okay it's a cool story. Oh, okay. It's a cool story. Let's just keep it going, then.

59:21 they let go and they release all of these They create a chain reaction. They create a reaction And one moment of that friction, the methane gas catches on fire. Let me give it to you in a nutshell. Yeah, see? bullshit i never knew that yeah he's an astronomer i would go with him and what is he he doesn't he Yeah, he says it happens all the time. sun, it takes 26

1:02:48 I don't even know what that means. I'm seeing people. Neil deGrasse Tyson says nothing's going to happen. though, they are unchecked. They don't have enough gravity to stay active, so they disappear really quickly. process until they get to technology that could end the universe To build And they smash Those are aliens. a new kind of matter that didn't exist before they're doing a lot of freaky shit this quark

1:06:40 They're making some shit that is just like infinitely heavy. Like all of this is like very, very, very strange. You were talking about Matters weren't you Large Haldron Collider. The idea that people all around the world find cool shit. onion you go to the onion you know what the fuck The Onion is. There's all these fake onions that are coming along.

1:09:19 It's just a fake fucking – it's not even remotely weird enough to be fake. What happened with her? to their videos because if you watch their video every fucking video you have to watch a 30 second commercial so it's over and over and over again and usually Okay, that would be beautiful. One of those people? It's so funny. I saw a guy the other day in San Diego, and he had these, like, little things that you attach to your fingers. I don't know. I haven't been to a club in a long time. It's so funny.

1:11:29 Can you make them stick to my fingers so I can just move my fingers right now? It's so weird if you're looking at the video. It's the most ridiculous thing ever i don't know if Yeah, sure. the the court has upheld this ruling okay a ruling against the pharmaceutical giant glasgow smith They paid him $151,000. Wow. They paid him $151,000. that cost him 82,000 euros.

1:14:24 Requip. Requip has been known for years And we all know people who can't drink. A lot of people are allergic to wheat, it turns out. I would like to see his testimony, please. people, I think, more than they would gigantic They admitted the side effects, If this human sexuality was that manipulated, manipulable? Manipulable? drug. Could you imagine if you took some shit and it made you a gay sex addict? Like if it was, if this

1:16:39 that to straight guys. What's funny is the And they wouldn't want to fight anymore. So they were the kings back then. that's a good way of looking at it man they could just wander through the woods So they'd say, listen, you're going to talk some Arabic, then you're going to suck his dick, then he's going to put it in your ass. Look, what if they tell our story and the government could lose its battle with the Islamic terrorists?

1:19:44 Would you want to be in the CIA and be in the gay porn division? gay and raise something else into and have passionate sex with each other dude it sounds It's way more fun. Women pretend to understand men just to keep you around and sort of stare at you and shake laid. And they feel understood. Like this is a man. A man understands a man. Women pretend to understand men

1:21:17 and the daily smells you have to deal with. but would you guys be like dual bears or would you like battle like those bears do in those open fields where they start pulling their hair out? it was just two dudes, If you wanted to have a gay relationship, Because, you know, We just contained ourselves inside a room so that we would. I wouldn't trust you guys.

1:23:20 Let me out. Houdini style. No, no. You start being bi for a little. You've got to wonder, man. The person just take a skin cell from you and run it through a fucking computer what do you want where as a culture they've recognized that these lustful feelings that we enjoy today and that They come up with some sort of an artificial reality, I wonder how many people out there have zero sex drive.

1:27:30 super happy people like that. That's when it gets really weird. They they tell you, hey, we're like I always talk about he can't get laid. Everybody would And that's just madness. Wow. i don't need it i don't need you that's crazy that's a that's a bad situation for a guy to be Well, he should get out of the relationship. They haven't had sex in three years.

1:29:42 Whoa. This is ridiculous. The worst is when your chick wants to fuck more than you do. Those are in the early days. You're hiding behind there throwing shit bombs. information that's accurate about silly things when it came to marijuana. No, he takes days off of weed, man. would not be addicted to it. So that's where It knows it's nonsense. they belittle it. They say, well, look, hey, I'm all for it.

1:34:06 And you and I both have had some crazy experiences, eating it, smoking it, whatever, where we It's not the same drug as all these drugs that people are taking where they're scratching their face off. and the high times and all those things are so hilarious. I can't wait until it becomes legal because when it becomes legal, I'm going to start eating it.

1:35:58 Just eating the whole thing? It's like, come on. What else? If it was a gateway drug, that would be a big problem with all my friends with meth and heroin. They had one of the worst economies in the state and now with weed, they have one of the best in the states. Dude, they were ready to totally close the state and quit being a state, I should write marijuana.

1:38:10 I'm a grown man. you find that out brian how many states are medical marijuana because it was 13, it seemed like, eight years ago. And now, Brian, you didn't want to do that? Well, let's assume it's a lot. just like liquor stores, pay their taxes and all that shit, followed the state law to a T. That just because someone wrote some shit down on paper

1:40:59 We pay them tax dollars, and they arrest people who aren't hurting anyone. filled with criminals and they think that they're allowed to do it because it's written down There's artistic benefit. You're just locked down. It was on the news. It's just – You know what? happened. Even if it didn't happen, she's still a whore. It looks like first of all, it's

1:44:46 That looks like a fucking... It looks like a plane. Watch this. there's like she could see something fly into it. These people are crazy. Those fuckers, all they do is they just read off a prompter. if they could blow up a plane back then, So the crazy conspiracy theory, as far as I was concerned, was that one of the most fascinating ones – they all have a hint of nuttiness.

1:47:02 especially like the Pentagon one. Yeah. I wouldn't put it past any nefarious organization, domestic or foreign, that they could – Why would we think that they wouldn't do it remotely? but it's better to be safe. he's the craziest motherfucker out there he's probably a disinfo agent totally he if anybody he said but he could be full of shit and i don't know i don't know anything about being a pilot but

1:49:55 Now the latest shit is and laundering it through securities, they had to blow up the security brokerages on the building, This is why weed is illegal. try to be as open minded as I can with these things trillions of dollars, but they're going to get And this is on YouTube. So they had a blow – and the Naval Intelligence Headquarters was Tower 7. She calls the FBI and says this other woman's sending her harassing letters.

1:53:40 that's that's where it gets really squirrely like who's what is that what's going on That was a good one. they've done it this way for so long. and they fall at free fall speed. Bombs in Tower 6? How could that be crazy when you're bashing the government so far that they reach. I mean, that was one of the excuses they used but wouldn't it be weird though if it if it was true you're you're saying maybe it is maybe it

1:56:44 There was a lot of shit. How would they do this? They finally were going to, there's so many, like AIG is, took executive like emergency power so that day they took emergency power so they could do whatever So I think speculating about it is silly. I feel like that should be a big point of investigation. If we really have a really crazy sort of fake democracy

1:59:34 They're gangsters, dude. They can do this? You're going to go to the library? You get an article, and it's from the Daily Mail. for ratings they want to make sure that people are tuning in. And if they're not tuning in, they'll replace a girl and move a guy and do this or do that. You're done. But it really should be that way. That silly bitch. Like you said, he ran a three-hour plus sub-four-hour marathon, which apparently is world class.

2:02:57 He's a good speaker and he was pretty charismatic. They're fucking – I'm thinking like John McCain and Sarah Palin. that in order to get to any position lot of shit that these dudes do. Have you done marathons, Paul? They got to think that you're going to be able to play ball with them. She's got big old titties and a gun. You never saw anybody that was black that had a fucking a paul ryan shirt on you know no one had

2:06:08 extra candidates in he got his own you're getting fucked told everybody what the federal bank is he told everybody where taxes You couldn't – they'll let a lot of kooks – like when you have like Republicans, you have like 10 Republicans. off but they they know certain shit like that they know guys like not gonna get that far it's a little Socially, I think we're better off with a guy like Obama.

2:08:20 The real problem is the dude does a lot of the same shit that Bush did. everyone's fucking criminal because in reality, most people are pretty fucking cool. from us on a daily basis, you think that's part of a plan? gain an advantage so that it helps your business and all that stuff is exposed, well, that should and shot him in the head which is probably unlikely they probably would have shot him just

2:11:35 because he changed the laws he made it so you can't arrest him he can't be tried for anything poisoning our water and poisoning the ocean and killing all all the fish. If they ever did get to that position, that would be a terrible loss of power would have to stand up on the merit of the products that they sell, No, no, no, I've got to look at that shit.

2:13:53 There's no way it will happen, right? sort of situation it's you know that all that shit came from mexico you know that was texas was And so Texas became this weird sort of spot, man. There's like a lot of like churches and people are nutty and they're doing exorcisms. why it doesn't pass is that civilization hasn't spread through the entire state it's only in small

2:16:36 I don't know. I don't know what the language of the law was, Rains a lot though. And when I see him, I'm going to shake him like a bad baby. I got to him eventually. No, you've all, you're in Southern California your whole life. That shit wears away at you, man. the best choice man i'm so happy you should move up here too those motherfuckers will try to convince

2:18:49 Yes it influenced me Does he have his black belt now? even if he's a lying motherfucker about the climate maybe he liked it initially and then Isn't that the idea? shit and thinking they're peering at you and looking back at you because you're feeling you're because there's so much vegetation that it's like being in a room that's like stuffed with things.

2:21:44 It's huge. And it's this this connection like almost like a neural connection underneath the – like in the way it's worked in, in the ground, in this entire area. A bunch of people are dying from eating poisonous mushrooms.