Joe Rogan Experience #297 — Dom Irrera Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. What's that? We love to get our sleep on. I guess he thought it was one of his pills after he had his heart condition. he accidentally took someone else's Adderall. He said he organized his office. Yeah, I mean, especially Starbucks. I had fun, but I had to think. And that's what happens. lives with me i go you know i quit drinking again she said uh it's only tuesday you drank sunday i

2:51 You just missed it? You know what I mean? day like i'll have a hangover at like 10 o'clock at night and go all right i guess i'm ready to And let's be honest about, I mean, never I remember watching people when I was younger phone it in and we've all the day it was awesome he was a great guy too he's a great guy he's such a sweet he hates to follow

5:36 Really? And Ray comes up to me. Thanks for checking in with me, Ray. I tell you what, I did a bit that Johnny Sanchez did, I could have been sitting upstairs at the Laugh Factory, Like, all of a sudden, your friend has a time machine bit. But you can't. When you're working with a guy And he just kept trying to fuck me. Oh, really? It was a stupid joke.

8:50 And the joke was like, I would fuck her in front of you, have to do it i was like already phasing that bit out but i thought it was crazy this guy had like You know, it's fucking funny man sudden they do it well what they don't understand is that a lot of times like when you say something you see you and her, you know, not, doing is completely different because they're like the vibe of a stand-up comedian like what

11:56 this is, There's no soul to it. This guy was trying to act like it was him, but it was jokey jokes. Dude, this is so crazy. I've never seen this before. I'd love to know what bit that is. Even my special, I didn't listen to it until last week. I'll listen to recordings, and I do learn shit the purposes of working on material. I'll listen to recordings.

13:57 But it takes away from a lot of the fun I've never seen that before. It was in Montreal at Club Soda. I just wanted to do a real one. Look at that sexy bastard. I read about this guy. Don Barrera, listen, what we need to do is get you a podcast, first of all. All right. Shit. He told me not to give it to you. I mean, if you don't want to, look, I mean, I would never try to go to Stanhope and tell him to sober up.

17:24 Mitch Hedberg was the one I tried to reach out to. That's it. I think I need to just go. Yeah, me too. I did that Parlor Live. It's beautiful. That's an island up there? That's where my girlfriend from college We get so programmed. I have to go to another country. Really? if he was on a deserted island, he wouldn't want it to be a woman rationally your your consciousness the idea is like if we're going to evolve your consciousness

21:20 I seriously am shallow. Easy there, Shakespeare. I've got some norms waiting to come out. don't I mean I have been like kind of married four times in my life but only They were all citizens, I was proud to say. brightest people I ever met. They have to laugh, especially like these models. Yeah, yeah. It's like you probably don't remember what it's like

24:05 You know what I'm saying? No, I enjoy it though. I'd rather be like some nut from the supermarket. withholding the bragging this book and somebody's like, dude, you're in this book. I totally didn't expect this. It means you're a cunt. Louis C.K.'s character. Your phone is the Beatles? No I got an iPhone Tweeting, rather. That shit's going to kill your battery.

27:35 Yeah, yeah. Everybody in my family, you know when it peaked, right? All my friends don't want me to go. It's depressing. The article about you? No, I don't want to do that. He's done that house-to-house combat. He told me not to go. in check but it doesn't mean that someone can't do something fucking crazy and it might not happen That's so random. Yeah.

30:37 That's what they do. Well, the world is smaller now. Someone's been watching Homeland. You see how smooth he is? He brought a posse to the Ice House, too. I know you don't want to drink. No. I try it every day. You can go up and have fun, man. And I'm alone. No, but I agree with you. It's just not good for you. take it yeah that's sort of a situation where you gotta really work well what is this thing doing to

34:05 wanted my advice my advice would say you got to stop drinking it's not good for you but i look No, not my whole day. Oh I love it well you know we go to that pool hall i don't need to drink right i'm fine i mean i'm fine What are you, drinking again? Well, you know, people used to drink wine with food because they thought it prevented food poisoning, prevented traveler's poisoning.

36:16 And there are two jumbo drinks. how many, about a plane of taking a year When? wrap your head around a crazy number here's the craziest number between the invention of the airplane and the dropping of an atomic bomb from the Wasn't he the guy that did the atom bomb? Were Jewish? under Operation Paperclip. And there was this guy who did this documentary on the moon landings.

38:57 It's like that regime, that Nazi regime, that ruthlessness also yielded some incredible science. Yeah, that was Oppenheimer. Of course, let's not forget the best. Where do you have a gig on New Year's Eve? I'm looking to see if he was Jewish. Like I love Ancient Aliens, a fun show. I really should educate myself on that. This is ancient Hindu religious text.

41:51 He wasn't happy at all. And in your mind, it's a battle now because as a scientist, Like, I am the only way this can get done. I bet there was that, too. I mean, and how many of them were Nazis because their families were forced into that, He was a charismatic speaker. Do you remember that fear that we had? The button, the red phone. Did you ever hear about the russian sleep experiment that they

45:23 And they had microphones so they could record everybody, what they talked about and stuff. And so they go in there and I guess people started killing I think it's what the microphones recorded. Really fascinating book. whatever. In the Mouth of Madness is a I incorporated that reality into a fake memory. When you get a chance to read this whole thing.

48:02 But I never really researched it. Yeah. I try so hard to get shit right. And it's the male of the species. didn't know, but even though everybody calls it a by going, you're wrong. Oh, God. Take it in. That's why I don't talk politics I won't. And so when I'm around him, I always like treat it like a research subject. Your wife is so fortunate. Do you mock them or do you call them out on it?

51:45 I was, you up myself. Right. Totally just being fucking evil. Right. To tell some jokey jokes, the guy's an asshole. Okay? not to get comedians He's skittish around bombs. judgmental cunt face. From 2009, it was just this viral thing that went around. It's a really creepy story. At least you called yourself on it. It's good. It's a nice story, though. It's a really creepy story.

53:36 Yeah. See if your pulse is Yeah Like dudes way off the beaten path that i would never get to communicate with like uh this guy you've got to go back with a piece of paper and write down shit and Google things. was amazed at how kids had different intelligence uh-huh and how like i remember i was really bad I could read you back where he had his first loss,

55:53 You can't let down. Oh, in the Philippines? Who knows? And then on top of that, he's had a lot of wars. Yes, I did. That's the cleanest punch I've ever seen a quick guy take, like a guy that kind of lightning speed. And when you see the impact of Pacquiao's head fly back, you were like. He got a little too cocky. Everybody that says things like that, you don't know what a fight is.

58:49 Second grade. There's a whole series of dudes I've met throughout my life Who have told me that they can't lose Because dude But you don't understand my mentality. No, no. This guy comes up and he goes, hey, Ray, boom, boom, Mancini. I go, look, man, he can't hit you. I know. Was it raining outside? No. Juicy food Probably like 6'8 just pretty fucking tall so i just walk walk in. Being tall and all.

1:02:01 What is that that you're showing in the corner? And you're inviting – I mean every now and then it might be fun but you're inviting I'm sure there's some – look, there's a lot of people that are what you call paranoid schizophrenics and that's legit and that's not like a small percentage of our Have you ever been contacted by any of these groups like Scientologists or Illuminatis?

1:03:49 Look, they're a group of badasses. Yeah. That's what's really weird about it. most, they'll accept that. positive things in your I listened to his books on tape. they sent me invitations to go to like the Scientology it was i didn't we had no internet okay wrap your head around that people so when i if someone asked This is a cult. That was like a couple of years ago.

1:07:17 Cara Santa Maria on What about intent? So that was pre, before Fear Factor came out. He's never watched Fear Factor or anything before. life. provide them with like a scaffolding. how to go get a job, And what is the story? why, Yeah. An alien reason. this is what Scientologists actually believed. Lord Xenu had prepared for this. Xenu didn't want their souls to return, and so he built

1:11:55 That's where our fears, our confusions, and our problems come from. Have they ever been to the Laugh Factory, or did they come in there? Did you ever mess around with Cher? Wear her outfit with the butt? here and i said i can't believe that your grandfather gets to see your ass right so later she's famous you know as a singer but it's just so weird how people can be insecure. And we know this from any part of show business.

1:13:57 I'm like, come on, man. I mean, you've done these shows with us. Just get, before you came in? He goes, watching people who can't help laugh even though they think i've seen people shake their head and You shouldn't ask them. And they were like fucking laughing. Yeah. I want you to break balls. That's going to confuse the shit out of your regular comedy club people.

1:16:57 Yeah, that's what I mean. And they also want Yeah they'll say You can do it Yeah So he tried to bad mouth me on the show? Yeah, I know you were He's a good guy to me. Me too. I'm a huge fan of his. Yeah, if you had to have sex with Dom or Andy. Probably more of a challenge to hold dice down. I couldn't get hard on seeing a hairy ass. and then you just make a decision

1:19:51 No, I just hold grudges, you know. I've only met him once. They said, do you mind if... He goes, because I can't believe you could follow me. He wasn't joking at all. But they were there to see me. Imagine doing 20 minutes over when you're opening for somebody. You were trying to clean up your karma I don't know him fucking honest bone connection frankie baby look at you lost weight frankie goes dumb i look like i'm gonna fucking

1:22:37 Look at that phony fucking smile. fuck i'm kidding you i said i'll do a meet and greet at the beginning and then get out of there. I don't care. Right? So that's so much for cleaning up my karma. That's where you guys were? Do you ever have guys just come up to you for things you've said on podcasts yet? that someone's been a cunt to you. The shitty McCunting?

1:24:54 And Louis used to come into Montreal. I'd go, is that you, Cunty? No, I can't play it. Conti McShitpuss. But I couldn't quit hanging out with stand-ups That's what you do for work Right. There's no business like show business. Oh, my God. and it was fucking hilarious. Right, right, right. It's really fucking funny. And so the operator, they called up and they were like, I would like to speak to my daughter or whatever.

1:28:22 That's what they said. They weren't even Yeah. for as far as I can see, no reason. What does someone say when someone commits suicide over a prank like that? You showed like some night vision with a bomb going off and shit like that and then they said Joe, I was in Canada. But they're not under the auspices of the crown by any stretch. Isn't that funny?

1:31:46 But it wasn't like London. Maybe it was Newcastle. And I'm like, how many people would be in that same position and be incredibly fortunate and feel so happy that they have all this money? Quickly drain the pool. Well, it's because you're American, too. This is crazy. behavior. Yeah, I mean at least the Pope a royal is what do you think is better though in england or like in like saudi arabia or something

1:34:35 Definitely. She's not doing so well. that they knew like Joey Bag of Donuts. It's magnificent. this stock pond I mean it's really that nobody's ever been such a baller because They did it with armies. Do you think? She's probably just nice and slow all day. Dom Herrera Did you say anal Did you ever bang her? I love Ellen, though. Oh, okay. kind of like a lesbian into the comedy i didn't know you know i didn't know she was lesbian but

1:38:50 and Jerry was a stand up already I paid two nights in a row before we were ever friends. No. They called and they trolled Sarah Palin. of health services. It was just a silly thing. You can't blame these people for a fucking him in their room i love the honey bit by the way that's great never thought of that never thought Dom and I, we just need to get on the phone together. Come on.

1:41:54 car is your new car satellite ready yeah yeah just order it up bitch what the fuck you doing Like that whole I'm from Jersey. And it's weird like hearing him get I think he's singing. I'm a triple threat. Is that his website? Don't mind me. He was one of the reasons I started. producers and I can do stand-up. I just had no act. And they'd be clapping.

1:45:46 He was really famous, right? He was famous enough He was always a nice guy. Even though he's younger than that. Oh, that was nice. When he talks about meaty pussies, you can see his little hands getting sweaty and his like me either but she says to the guy who's a club owner of Governor's and Brokerage where I was playing out on the island. Somebody who's supposed to be good looking.

1:47:53 I like that look. come on you know what I do that I do exercise that's the thing I when I go to effect of the melted cheese on cooked tomatoes was somehow uh like esophagus cancer was like down 50 I'm talking about werewolves down there. Take some home with you. a totally different thing yeah like gravy and also was like turkey gravy right you know that kind of gravy but great but red sauce was great still gravy yeah it was never sauce you never

1:50:53 Look at you. You're a cat material for Christ's sake. All right, all right. How dare Brian, Brian. Doing cat material for Christ's sake. You're not going to lead me into a bit. I feel great, actually. Thanks, man. Billy Bonnell, who's a hilarious comic. Madhouse, I heard, is awesome. It was a big-ass place. I met a lot of people from Tijuana, that was the balboa theater it was pretty awesome but yeah you can uh dude me to see Viagra. So I'll get the radio. That was the Balboa Theater. It was pretty awesome.

1:53:18 This is craziness. You know, like the crowds are small. She's one of the only people The Laugh Act is great. We'll do it next week. and Honey Honey Band. We're going to have Doug Stanhope. That's a great show. And Honey Honey Band. We'll do it at Ice House because we've got the good internet. Oh, okay. if it matters. a fucking person but Nashville is particularly tricky apparently for comedy. Yeah. I don out. Nashville's tricky. Why would I sell out Knoxville? I don't know, but Nashville is particularly tricky, apparently, for comedy.

1:55:39 Yeah. Like Jeff Foxworthy. They love him up in Michigan and shit. Are you leading me on, boy? I don't think so. Yeah. Joe Piscopo on it. That girl is like trying to take him down. They probably did. no he narrates it oh yes it's like a science discovery or one of those yeah it blows it's might be infinite and if it is infinite i have no idea i don't understand any of it i don't

1:58:43 just because of the laws of the fact that there are so many variables. It's just inevitable. 186,000 miles a second, I believe the speed of light is. A year of like- we have this full security yeah yeah i think those old cavemen people like they they had a great And when you see that, like it's nothing has ever even been close to this before and when you see that like it

2:01:50 And you're like, wait a minute. because of the light pollution. We don't even deal with nature. It crazy because it all it all happens in this or who has to go to war to control what part of the world? There's something badass about it, but there's something crazy. i wonder i watched those uh those alaska shows where people are like preserving all their food

2:03:57 Well, where it came from was the people that came down the Bering Strait, move until the kid got older, and they said, listen, I know the really ancient, incredible cave paintings. And they trap and that pays for like chainsaws and shit like that. they were all getting together and they were talking about how what good fun hunting is And he has the same spot he lands every

2:06:42 with these shows man i'm upset i'm obsessed with the idea of subsistence living yeah living off the land these people living off the It's supposed to be amazing, though. They say eagles are everywhere there. I'll get... What are you going to Google? It's really one of those uh things that if you Let's see. It's fucking crazy, man. Yo, if they swarmed on you, they could

2:09:54 That's crazy. but this is a part of your reality look at these kids walking up. There's a video of eagles killing wolves. That's crazy. wouldn't be true but he said it was amazing and they would eat raw salmon right from the the side responsible for their death? I don't feel like it. out of them. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Mahi-mahi actually. They call them dolphin fish. Yeah, I oh yeah you're thinking of uh mahi mahi actually they

2:13:10 Alright, Brian has got to get they can uh save some money if if you go to american comedy co and to buy your tickets if at 4 in the afternoon. A very and Terrence McKenna is responsible for probably some of the most influential works on psychedelics ever, Let me, Dennis McKenna book. Let me pack the place on New Year's Eve. If you want to read that book before the interview, it might be interesting to give you a little perspective if you're down with it.

2:15:29 This comes in. All right, you dirty fucks. Bladeslinger. Yeah, it's – they're the latest sponsor of this podcast. And next Tuesday, the 18th, I am releasing my stand-up comedy special. I paid a lot of money to make's a great idea, man. Yeah. So please don't steal it. Which is the top of the beyond. This week, Thursday night. All right, you dirty fucks.

2:18:14 of them. I over All right, you fucks.